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Sitting back down in the Prefect compartment of the Hogwarts Express somehow felt like home to Jo Jinho.
Another summer break had passed and here he was again, sadly for the very last time. Thinking about his last year at Hogwarts left him with sorrow, no doubt, but it also made him feel excited for what was to come. It was also an absolute honour that, for his last year, he had been named head boy (something he wanted to keep to himself for a while so he could brag about it to his friends later on).
He was the first one in the compartment today and freely grabbed for one of the provided bottles of pumpkin juice. They had not started driving yet and so the young Slytherin could look out the window onto platform nine and three quarters and watch the families saying goodbye. Something inside of him hurt as he did so, the way it had always hurt, but he pushed it away, far enough for it not to bother him at this time.
His eyes wandered over the stranger’s faces, the way they smiled at their family members, the way they cried hugging them, and he only stopped once he saw a face he was sure everyone and their aunts would recognise.
It wasn’t the first time he had spotted Harry Potter on the platform, after all his children all went to Hogwarts, but it held something important each time.
Harry was hugging his daughter (Jinho was fairly sure her name was Lily) and waved goodbye to her and her brothers after he got back up. The younger brother, Albus, was in Jinho’s house and had caused some trouble two years prior, in Jinho’s fifth year.
“Staring at Harry Potter, Jinho? Don’t you think he has enough pairs of eyes boring into him?” Jinho cringed at the sudden voice next to his face and almost fell of his seat when he swirled around to see his housemate and fellow (former) prefect Cassandra Nott.
“Merlin, Cass. Sneaking up on people now, aren’t you?” he shook his head and opened the bottle of juice after, looking back at the window only to find Harry Potter gone.
“Well, someone has to call you out for it,” Cass shrugged and sat down on the seat across from Jinho, crossing one leg over the other. Jinho ignored her and went on to take a sip of his juice, eyes continuing to drift around the platform.
“Maybe we’re lucky and the others decide to bail on the compartment again,” Cass continued on now, looking at Jinho with a grin, “you know, so that we can repeat our journey to Hogwarts from last year?”
Of course, she would mention that. Jinho sighed, looking at her now with a stern face.
“Cass. We talked about this. That was a mistake on my end and should have never happened.”
Cassandra tilted her head to the side and stuck her tongue out so it could slide over her bottom lip, leaving it wet and shiny. Jinho didn’t budge one bit.
“Then why did it happen again around seven times last year, hm?”
Jinho groaned, shaking his head, and putting the bottle on the little table next to the window.
“I need you to give it a rest, Cassandra. We can’t continue doing what he did last year, it’s not what I want. Got it?”
Now, Cassandra’s face faltered a little. She straightened her shoulders and looked away.
“Right. Got it,” she mumbled, still looking at the compartment door instead of Jinho.
Some part of the Slytherin boy felt bad, he had to admit. Last year’s incidents had not only been her fault, obviously. He had agreed to sleeping with her several times, had wanted it in those weak moments of his. But the sad truth was that she was not what he wanted nor what he really desired.
The compartment door slid open just then and in stepped two boys, mid conversation.
“Oh look! The snakes are here already,” Yeo Changgu was the first one in, greeting them with a wide smile. Jinho sat up straight and looked behind Changgu for a second, his irrational hope of seeing someone special obviously not fulfilled. This compartment was only for prefects. Why would that someone be here?
“Hey, you two, did you have a nice summer?” Lee Hwitaek was the one behind Changgu, waving at Jinho and Cassandra now.
“Oh yes, it was wonderful. My parents and I went to France, we had a blast,” Cassandra answered Hwitaek’s question with a reserved smile on her lips. Jinho was glad that her attention had wandered elsewhere and decided that it would be better not to answer the Hufflepuff in case she would look back at him and remember that she could easily expose their past to the two others and make him feel incredibly awkward about it. Even though he would not consider the two prefects (well, technically Hwitaek wasn’t a prefect anymore, as he was in year seven, but former prefects where still allowed to sit in the compartment) close friends, he still wasn’t too keen about them telling their friends about Jinho’s hook-ups with Cassandra, for more than the obvious reasons of silly gossip going around the castle.
“That sounds lovely, Cass. Glad you had fun,” Hwitaek sat down next to her while Changgu fell down onto the seat next to Jinho, presenting him with another one of his wide smiles.
Changgu was ridiculously handsome, with his sharp brown eyes that seemed to have sparkles of gold inside them, his high cheekbones and the fluffy looking brown hair falling into his face in soft curls. More times than one had Jinho wondered about whether Changgu even had any flaws, seeing as he was also a straight A student, seeker of Ravenclaws Quidditch team and just, to put it in one very fitting adjective, so friendly.
“And how was your summer, Jinho hyung?” Jinho rarely heard his mother tongue at Hogwarts, but when he did it was always Changgu who addressed him in Korean, a language he only knew because his mother had insisted on teaching him even though he had never set foot in Korea before. He was also rarely addressed as ‘hyung’ and he was sure that Changgu meant well, after all Jinho was born a year prior to the sixth year. Hyunggu had once told him that he guessed Changgu used honorifics with him because he wasn’t exactly sure if they were friends or not and didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.
“Why use Korean then in the first place?” Jinho had asked Hyunggu back then, both of them seated in front of the fireplace in their common room after a rather wild snowball fight with the other boys outside.
“Good question. I think he just enjoys speaking it to us, you know, since he basically only speaks Korean at home with his parents. It’s probably a comfort for him, reminds him of home, gives him a glimpse of it when he’s away.”
That answer had made Jinho think, had made him feel a little softer towards the younger boy even though he also felt a bit of envy stinging inside his chest.
“My summer was good, thanks. How about you? Did you and your family go to Korea again?” he answered Changgu now, a slight smile playing on his lips as he watched Changgu’s face light up even more (if that was even possible at this point).
“Yes, we went and visited my grandparents. I was also able to take a tour around the Korean Ministry for the first time since my uncle started working there a few months ago. It’s really cool, I’m sure you would have loved it.”
Jinho raised his eyebrows at that last remark and tried to think of any reason than the one that randomly started creeping up in his mind at why Changgu suddenly blushed.
“I mean, anyone would love it, really. It is s right in Hongdae, you need to take an elevator up in one of the buildings and it basically takes you up to the highest floor which isn’t visible to muggles. The view is breath taking!” the blush bad left Changgu’s cheeks and he was back to his excited self, which left Jinho rather relieved.
The rest of the prefects showed up soon after the train departed and Jinho suddenly felt the feeling of this truly being the last time he would sit in this compartment with his friends setting in. He watched them for a while, smiling to himself, reminding him that this wasn’t the time to be sad. He still had plenty of time to feel emotional once the term was over.
Once the time came for them to change into their robes, Jinho grinned to himself when he reached into the pocket of his robe and took out his brand-new Head Boy badge and pinned it to his chest, a proud grin on his face.
“Oh my god!” Dominique Weasley, the Ravenclaw prefect of the sixth year pointed at the badge, “Jinho is head boy!”
Now everyone was staring at him and Jinho’s grin grew even bigger.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Changgu took a step towards him, taking a closer look at his badge.
“Congratulations!” Hwitaek put his hand on Jinho’s shoulder and gave him a nod of approval, followed by a bright smile. Jinho thanked him and all the others until he stopped at Cass, who had a more or less surprised look on her face.
“Wondered who got it after it wasn’t in my letter this summer. Congrats, Jo,” she said, giving Jinho a thumbs up, before she sat back down on her seat, chin resting on her hand as she propped her elbow on the windowsill. Jinho chuckled at her words and looked back at the others.
“Yeah, I wanted to surprise everyone. I was really happy when I saw it. Honestly, I didn’t think I would get it, I actually thought-,”
“I really thought Hongseok was gonna become Head Boy,” Dominique ‘s voice interrupted him, her eyes dreamy. Jinho felt his stomach make some strange turn, something like a back flip but also a cartwheel, just simply strange.
“Oh, yes, I am sure he was also a candidate,” Changgu nodded, “but it doesn’t surprise me one bit, that Professor McGonagall wanted Jinho for the spot.” The smile he gave Jinho was so honest it made Jinho slightly uncomfortable and he couldn’t even say why. He thanked the Ravenclaw and sat back down, the others following him.
The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful, only when they got off the Hogwarts express at Hogsmeade station did Jinho feel the familiar anxiety appear in the pit of his stomach. He followed Cass out the train and looked around the station, spotting a familiar face right away.
“Yanan!” he yelled, and the tall and handsome blonde turned around, giving him an excited wave, which he stopped the second his eyes spotted the badge on Jinho’s chest.
“Son of a bitch!” Yanan yelled back, laughing. Jinho laughed too, winking at his younger friend, and started walking towards him now. Next to Yanan, as he only saw now, he found Hyunggu, another friend of his from sixth year, who was absently looking at a notebook whilst holding Yanan’s hand. Ever so cute, those two.
“Congrats, buddy. I knew you had it in you to become head boy,” Yanan hugged Jinho with his free arm once he stopped in front of them and it was only then that Hyunggu looked up from his notebook, blinking rapidly at Jinho, scanning the boy from toe to head and let out something like a welp once he saw the badge.
“Wow, Jinho, that’s amazing!” he said, bright smile on his face and he threw his arms around the older boy, letting go off Yanan’s hand in the process. Jinho laughed again, patting Hyunggu on the back as he looked at Yanan who shook his head in amusement at his boyfriend’s excitement.
Hyunggu let go off Jinho shortly after and they walked to the carriages together, sharing one to drive them to the castle. Before he got in though, Jinho turned around and checked his surroundings again, but he could neither spot his prefect friends, nor the person he was actually searching for but would never admit to if asked.
Hogwarts looked as beautiful as ever with all the lights greeting Jinho and his friends, the towers high and the stars shining brightly around it. Jinho had spent many hours in the library reading about the Battle of Hogwarts and could barely imagine how Hogwarts must have looked back then. Yes, he had seen some pictures and had read all about it, they had even talked about it in History of Magic, but this had been his home for so many years, imagining it in ruins, broken… it wasn’t something Jinho found easy.
“Do you know who’s head girl?” Hyunggu brought Jinho back to the here and now and the latter blinked a few times before shaking his head.
“It’s not Cass, which isn’t a surprise since they almost never pick two people from the same house,” he answered as he looked out the window, “I wonder who got it then.”
The couple in front of him nodded, both wandering away in their own thoughts, when suddenly the carriage came to a stop. Without even realising it they had made it to Hogwarts already.
Getting out of the carriage, Jinho straightened his shirt and looked around, catching a glimpse of a head he thought might belong to Changgu, when Hyunggu wrapped his hand around Jinho’s wrist and pulled him towards the entrance of the castle. Jinho followed him, not minding the younger boy literally dragging him in so they could catch good seats at the Slytherin table.
Once inside, Jinho spotted a lot of people staring at the badge on his chest and greeting him with smiles and thumbs up, making him smile and nod at them as a thank you. They made their way to the Great Hall, waving at those they knew, and finally arrived at their table a few moments later.
Jinho walked over to the other side, sitting down opposite of the couple and with clear view of all the other house’s tables. That, of course, did not have an ulterior motive whatsoever. He cleared his throat when Yanan gave him a knowing smirk and adverted his eyes to look at the teacher’s table at the front of the hall. He saw the headmistress sitting at her usual seat in the middle of the table, Professor Flitwick to her right and Professor Slughorn to her left. The latter found Jinho’s eyes shortly after and presented the young boy with a wide smile and a nod, which Jinho was happy to return. He had been in Slughorn’s Slugclub ever since his third year when he had singlehandedly brewed a love potion that was meant for six-years. Slughorn had been so impressed by his student that he had made him a member the following evening.
It took quite a while before everyone had sat down (Jinho had still not spotted the person he was not looking for if anyone was asking) and Professor Longbottom came walking into the hall with all the first years behind him. Jinho wasn’t sure, but he thought to see a young-looking boy having similar face structures as their Herbology teacher.
“Look, do you think that could be Longbottoms’s son?”, he whispered over the table to Hyunggu and Yanan who were looking over at the first years as well.
Hyunggu whistled quietly.
“Could be, they have the same nose. But he has Mrs. Longbottom’s hair!”
Professor Longbottom walked onto the small stage, turning around to face the first years and the rest of the students with a smile. He went on to explain what was gonna happen and brought out the three-legged stool as well as the Sorting Hat itself. Jinho could still vividly remember how the head had yelled out ‘Slytherin’ only a few moments after Longbottom had put it on his head six years ago. A smile crept onto his lips.
The Sorting Head began his usual song and Jinho really wanted to pay attention, when suddenly the doors to the hall opened, just a small bit, but still making enough noise for some of the students to notice. Jinho turned his head around and his eyes widened at the sight of the person he had very obviously been looking for ever since he had arrived at the platform hours before (but would never admit to if asked).
Yang Hongseok, a Ravenclaw seventh year and captain of their Quidditch team sneaked into the hall, his face pulled into a grimace full of anxiety and embarrassment. Nevertheless, he was still the most stunning human Jinho had ever laid his eyes on.
The Slytherin watched as Hongseok made his way over to the Ravenclaws, his robes flying behind him. Jinho wondered where he had been and frowned.
“Where has he been?” he heard Hyunggu’s voice saying and he knew that the younger boy had followed Hongseok with his eyes as well. Jinho shrugged, feeling the redness creep onto his cheeks when Hyunggu turned around to him with a knowing grin.
Thankfully, he didn’t have time to comment when Longbottom started calling for the first years to be sorted into their respective houses.
Turned out Jinho had been right, the young boy’s name was Frank Longbottom, and he was sorted into Gryffindor. Jinho could clearly see how happy their Herbology Professor was at that.
“I’m starving. Can they please hurry up?” Yanan played with Hyunggu’s hair as he absently stared at the few first years left. Jinho just nodded, noticing only now how hungry he actually was.
It didn’t take long until the last first year was sorted and with that being done, Professor McGonagall announced for the feast to begin. Jinho could momentarily forget about Hongseok and why he had been late (his mind making up the craziest stories about him hooking up with someone or fighting a dark creature on his way from the train – both of which seemed very unlikely) and just stuff his mouth with delicious food, food he couldn’t believe he would only be eating for another year.
Somehow, Jinho managed to take control of his thoughts and went to bed that night with neither the sadness of his last year at Hogwarts nor the pretty Ravenclaw boy on his mind.
**
Once classes were back on, Jinho was more than happy for the distraction. As it had turned out (or at least this was the most talked about rumour with the most evidence to back it up), Hongseok had been late for the feast because he had been talking to a sixth grade Hufflepuff girl. Apparently, so everyone said, the girl had confessed to him and started crying once he had turned her down. Instead of going to the feast, though, she had decided to head straight to the common room, wanting to be alone.
Said girl had also been the one to kind of confirm this rumour by crying again the next day at breakfast and the day after that and… the day after that. Jinho had watched her with annoyance, partly because he thought it was absolute rubbish but also because he kind of felt for her. While he had never confessed to Hongseok about having a crush on (being absolutely in love with) him, he had definitely played through the situation in his head, coming up with all kinds of scenarios like confessing to him in the astronomy tower or at the foot of the black lake. In all of his scenarios Hongseok turned him down, just like he had turned down the girl. For whatever reason, Jinho’s conscience just couldn’t imagine it to ever go well. He hated it, to be frank. All he wanted was for Hongseok to see him in a different light, to look at him with his pretty eyes and make him feel as if he wanted him. Even if it was only for a short time. A day, even.
It was his first potions class of the year with the Gryffindors when the thought crossed his mind for the first time.
Professor Slughorn stood in front of the class, talking about what they had done in their previous year and what they would be doing this year, especially with their upcoming N.E.W.Ts. As he began reading the curriculum to them, Jinho’s ears perked up once Slughorn said “Amortentia”. Suddenly, his heart started beating faster and his hands were sweaty, his mind traveling to places it probably shouldn’t travel to. Love potions were absolutely prohibited from Hogwarts, with no exceptions. If you were caught, you could face serious consequences and for Jinho, as newly chosen head boy, this was an absolute no-can-do. Still, something inside of him held on tightly to that thought, kept it like a secret all too present in his brain.
When potions ended that day, Jinho was the last one to leave the classroom. Not because he had something to say to Professor Slughorn, but because he wondered if maybe, in the back of the class, in the pantry so to speak, the necessary ingredients for his thought were stored. Slughorn had hushed him out of the room then because Jinho surely had another class to attend and the first graders were about to swarm into the room, and Jinho knew that the potion professor was right, but his feet weren’t exactly listening to his coherent thoughts.
Still, he managed to walk out and to his transfiguration class, sitting down next to Hwitaek and pulling out his book, quill, and parchment.
“You alright, mate?” Hwitaek said with perked eyebrows. It was very obvious that Jinho’s head wasn’t here in this classroom, but the latter smiled as he looked at the Hufflepuff boy, nodding his head.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Hwitaek only shrugged, not giving him an answer but eyeing him suspiciously, nonetheless. Jinho chuckled even though he felt uneasy inside. Was it really that obvious that his head was somewhere else? He really needed to work on his poker face.
Soon enough the class was filled with more people and Jinho felt his heart do a fairly strange leap when Hongseok sat down in the row next to his, round specs positioned on his nose, looking like the straight A student Jinho knew he was. The only class Jinho didn’t share with him was potions since Hongseok, for whatever reason, had failed his exam back in their fifth year and had not made it into Slughorn’s advanced class, which translated to Jinho watching Hongseok whenever he had the chance and secretly hoping that no one would ever call him out. As of now, no one had, thankfully.
Soon after Professor Irington walked in, ready to start the class. Rather sourly did Jinho advert his gaze from Hongseok and looked at the young professor who did about the same as Slughorn had. He told them about the colloquium of this year, how they were gonna do a lot of revisions from last year and also do one or two new transfigurations including a few more chess pieces. Jinho liked transfiguration, he would even say that he was rather gifted in that department, but for the love of Merlin – he could never get the stupid pawns to turn into queens.
“I want you to get in groups of four and try to turn these,” with a swing of his wand two cabbages showed up each on every table, “back into cauldron cakes. Remember this from last year, everyone?” Jinho met Hwitaek’s eyes and both of them thought the same thing: They knew perfectly well how to turn cauldron cakes into cabbages, but the other way around? Scratching his neck, Jinho looked over at Irington, who leaned against his desk with a knowing smile on his lips.
“Don’t look at me like that, I am sure you’ll find out how to do this. Anyways, get together in rows, please.”
Even though this wasn’t exactly a surprising way to form groups, Jinho still felt his heart beat a little faster and jump a little higher when he looked over to Hongseok and his bench partner, who happened to be Shinwon, a Gryffindor. Jinho and him didn’t exactly not get along, but they also wouldn’t call each other friends, per se. See, Gryffindors and Slytherins had this reputation of not getting along, and even though it had gotten immensely better after the war ended, it still somehow lived within those two houses.
Hongseok stood up from his chair, followed by Shinwon and they smiled at the Slytherin and the Hufflepuff as they used magic to let their chairs fly to their table, sitting down right after.
“Any idea how to do this?” Shinwon asked as he crossed his legs and arms, eyebrows raised. Jinho shrugged, Hwitaek pursed his lips, all while Hongseok confidently raised his wand, said a spell Jinho didn’t know and, would you look at that, turned the cabbage back into the cake. The other boy’s jaws dropped.
“How the bloody hell-,” Shinwon stared at the cauldron cake. Hongseok grinned and adjusted the specs on his nose.
“I kind of figured that Irington would ask us to turn back the cabbages at one point. So, I looked it up. It’s rather easy, just think extremely hard about not wanting cabbage anymore and rather getting the cauldron cake back while you say the spell.”
It sounded rather easy like this, but Jinho wasn’t too sure if it really was that easy, so he just simply nodded, not really able to form proper sentences when Hongseok was around, anyways.
The four boys (or, well, more or less only three of them since Hongseok had already mastered this spell) started practising the spell and pretty much relied on Hongseok telling them what they could do better.
“You’re doing great, Jinho, you just have to, well, you have to swing your wand a little differently.” Jinho almost fell of his chair when he felt Hongseok’s voice so close to his ear and he was sure that his face had taken on the colour of Shinwon’s robes. Clearing his throat, the Slytherin nodded and tried again, only for Hongseok to shake his head and shift even closer to him. His hand wrapped around Jinho’s and if Jinho hadn’t been in such shock, he would have probably dropped his wand, and he slowly led it the way he needed to swing it in order to successfully cast the spell. Never had Jinho been as thankful for Hyunggu and Yanan being a year under him than in this moment. He would have never been able to live this down, those two would make sure of it.
“See? Like this. I’m sure you can do it,” Hongseok seemed to whisper into his ear and Jinho felt himself shiver a little. By Merlin, why was he being like this? Without even really noticing how, he cast the spell again and succeeded – the cabbage turned back into a cauldron cake and Hongseok let out something like a cry of joy and when Jinho looked at him and saw the smile on his face, the so obvious look of happiness and satisfaction, he was scared he’d faint.
This small but incredibly significant moment with the boy he had been in love with for over three years kept Jinho on his toes for the rest of the day. When he met Hyunggu and Yanan for lunch, he tried his best to not appear out of it even though he felt like the world was upside down. He stuffed himself with enough Yorkshire Pudding to last a lifetime and let his two friends do most of the talking, when he suddenly felt a figure sit down next to him.
“Good day, lads,” it was Kim Seokjin, a very handsome Slytherin boy in Jinho’s year, who Jinho shared a dormitory with and knew had sat only a few rows behind him in today’s Transfiguration class. Immediately, alarm bells started ringing in Jinho’s head and his eyes widened.
“Hi Seokjin,” Hyunggu beamed at him. Yanan only gave him a sour look.
“What brings you here?” Jinho asked quickly, when suddenly there was another person plopping down on his other side. It was Cass. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and smirked at Jinho.
“We thought we’d join you. You know, asking how your first few lessons went,” Seokjin leaned forward on his elbows. Yanan frowned and looked from him to Jinho and back.
“Why would you do that?” he wanted to know then. Jinho felt his throat tighten.
“Oh, funny that you ask, Yanan! Well, I’m fairly sure I saw our sweet Jinho almost falling off his chair back in Transfiguration when a certain Ravenclaw boy taught him how to do the spell correctly.”
Yanan’s sour mood disappeared right then and made space for grin the size of Russia. Jinho groaned.
“I did not. Stop spreading rumours, Seokjin.”
But Seokjin only laughed and looked over at Cass, who was busy swirling around her glass filled with apple juice.
“Don’t be like this, Jo. We just want to protect you. I get it, Hongseok is hot. Who wouldn’t fall for him?” Something in Cassandra’s voice told Jinho that she was not, how she claimed it, trying to protect him. He knew that she was mad and maybe even insulted in her pride that Jinho so clearly lost all interest in her and shown clear signs of affection towards Hongseok. Jinho cursed himself. How had he managed to hide his feelings for years and failed so miserably only a few days into his last year at Hogwarts?
“Protect him from what, exactly?” Hyunggu raised his eyebrows as he looked at Cass who in return shrugged, her former grin changed into just a small knowing smile playing around her lips.
“Hongseok having his eyes set on someone else, of course. Rumour has it that he had a very steamy summer romance with one of our house. Apparently, so I’ve heard, he wants to ask him to be his boyfriend soon. So, just wanted to give little Jinho here a heads up that he should probably move on before it hurts too much.”
The more Cass talked, the more Jinho’s face turned hot. His usual so controlled self, his cool side, the side that had gotten him to become head boy, the side that had helped him go through all kinds of drama and being in love with a boy so far out of his reach it seemed ridiculous to even fall for him in the first place, it began to crumble and Jinho just couldn’t pinpoint to the reason why.
“Who? Who do they say he had the summer romance with?”
“Park Jinyoung.”
It was that night that Jinho laid awake and wondered what he should do. He knew Park Jinyoung, of course he did, everyone did. Jinyoung had probably been another person up for the spot of head boy, but since he was already pre-occupied with being their Quidditch-Captain, they had probably gone for Jinho instead.
Rubbing his face once again in the many minutes he had been laying on his bed, Jinho wondered how on earth he could ever compete with Jinyoung. It was an easy answer; he couldn’t. It made sense to him, suddenly. Why Hongseok had turned that girl down. Why he and Jinyoung didn’t just shake hands before matches but hugged. How he and Jinyoung sat so close together in their shared classes and how they would look each other so full of affection.
Jinho turned around and buried his face in his pillow, groaning loudly into it now. The frustration was eating at him and it was then that his eyes flew open again, seeing nothing but the darkness of his room and the blackness of his pillow up close. Quicker than he had ever been, Jinho shot up and sat straight in his bed, his eyes fixated on the heavy dark green curtains around his bed (or the silhouette of them, actually). Today’s potion class had popped up in his head again and suddenly the idea didn’t seem even half as stupid as before. That bloody love potion, the one way to feel wanted by Hongseok – if only for one day. He would put it in some chocolates or maybe a pastry, give it to him through someone else and just enjoy one day of Hongseok being his, of Hongseok giving him his time of day. Something his chest was purring as he thought of that and when he finally fell asleep, the thought of Hongseok embracing him and giving him that smile was still lingering on his mind.
Surprisingly enough, when he told Hyunggu and Yanan about his plan, neither of them seemed opposed to it. Instead, they started making plans about how to proceed. If it was smarter to brew it themselves, knowing that Jinho was full on capable of doing that with him literally making the Slug Club by brewing one of the strongest love potions that were allowed to be brewed on school grounds or if they should either buy or steal it. They all knew that Slughorn would hold his annual Felix Felicis competition next week and that he always let the sixth graders take a look at the different potions before letting them brew an extremely powerful Sleeping Draught named “The Draught of the Living Dead”. Jinho had won last year and had sadly used his win these summer holidays when he had decided it was time to tell his mother that he was not just interested in girls.
“I think buying it is too risky. And brewing it, I think it takes months to properly finish. So, I think we should settle for stealing it from Slughorn’s classroom,” Yanan said as they lounged in front of the fireplace the next evening. Hyunggu nodded along while Jinho chewed on his bottom lip. Earlier today, he had spotted Hongseok and Jinyoung talking to Changgu and looking around rather cautiously. Were they planning something, too? Perhaps how to come out as a couple to all of the school to finally have everyone leave them alone? Jinho knew how many people fancied Jinyoung and Hongseok and could only imagine how annoying it must’ve felt to never be able to properly move around the castle without people telling you how marvellous you were. The only person Jinho knew had ever had a crush on him was Cass and he had taken full advantage of that last year. Not his proudest moment.
“How should we do it, though? I don’t think we can just walk out of our common room and waltz to the classroom without anyone catching us,” Hyunggu leaned against Yanan on the couch and looked over at Jinho who was seated in the armchair across from them. He shrugged.
“I guess we just have to be smart about it. Maybe one of us can fake being sick and distract Slughorn,” he proposed. Yanan and Hyunggu nodded slowly, their eyes locked on the cackling fire before they looked back at Jinho.
“Or we just do it after our lesson that day. I mean, the two of us will be there anyway and Slughorn loves you so he won’t be mad at you for stopping by. Don’t you have a free period after your morning classes? You can just say you were about to pick us up and had something to ask him,” Hyunggu seemed happy with his idea and Jinho pursed his lips, letting that idea run through his head for a second before he nodded.
“That sounds like it could go wrong the least. Let’s try it.”
He never should have said that. Every plan that sounds like it’s the least to go wrong is destined to go wrong at one point. For this plan, it was the part about distracting Slughorn enough for Hyunggu and Yanan to sneak some of the potion into one of their small glass jar they used in their potion’s classes rather regularly. Once Jinho walked in that day after the lesson had ended, he almost fell over his own feet when he saw Hongseok standing there as well, talking to Slughorn, and making the teacher laugh so full heartedly it threw Jinho off completely. He had heard Slughorn laugh before, of course, but never like this.
“Mr. Yang, you are quite something!” was what Slughorn said to the Ravenclaw boy as Jinho stood behind them with his mouth slightly open. Behind Slughorn he could see Yanan and Hyunggu as well as Changgu (who Jinho only now realised had stayed behind as well) staring at Slughorn the same way he did. For a second he forgot his task at hand and just admired the way Hongseok was smiling brightly at their potion’s professor with his soft looking brown hair falling into his face. Hell, was he whipped.
Yanan and Hyunggu waved their hands in the air behind Slughorn, trying to get Jinho’s attention and once the older boy got himself to look away from the beauty that was Yang Hongseok, he tried to motion them to just go ahead with the plan. Just that, by the looks of it, they weren’t the only ones trying to get a hold of the cauldron filled with love potion. Next to them, Changgu slowly moved towards the cauldron with the purple-ish red potion inside of it and quickly Yanan took a step forward, getting a hold of Changgu’s robes and basically dragging him backwards, making the Ravenclaw lose his balance. It happened quicker than any of them could have predicted. Changgu fell backwards and for a second it seemed as if he was about to fall onto Yanan, but Hyunggu leaped forward, pushing him back, which then caused Changgu to instead fall forward and right onto the three cauldrons steaming with their respective potions causing all of them to fall onto the floor and spill their contents everywhere there and then.
The sound of the metal hitting the floor was what made Slughorn turn around.
“By Merlin! What are you boys doing?!” he yelled, his face red. Jinho stared at the mess on the floor, including the only thing that would have made it possible for him to feel close to Hongseok in a way that otherwise would be impossible.
The three boys who were responsible (or, well, actually just the Slytherin’s had been responsible and Changgu just somehow managed to be a part of their mess) stood in front of Slughorn with red faces, none of them really sure how to hold eye contact.
“What were you thinking? Don’t you have other classes to attend? Why did you stay back and cause such a mess? Do you even know how long it took to brew these? You all know well enough that I cannot restore them by simply casting a Reparo spell!”
Slughorn walked around the puddle of fluid on the floor, getting his wand out and casting a voice-less spell, having the cauldrons fly back to their original spot. Once they stood back on their posts, Slughorn rubbed his forehead, visibly angry. Jinho was just about to say something when another voice beat him to it.
“It was my fault, Professor!” Hongseok said quickly, stepping forward. Slughorn turned around to face him, now more confused than angry.
“Mr. Yang, how could this ever be your fault?” He wanted to know, distressed.
“Well, I asked them to do it.”
Jinho’s head snapped to Hongseok. Why would he say that? Quickly, Jinho looked back at the Professor.
“Professor, Hongseok is obviously trying to protect his friend. It’s my fault, really, Professor. I was the one who wanted to get them to grab me a little bit of one of your potions.” Jinho heard his voice before he could even contemplate. He felt the eyes of their professor on his face and it took quite a few moments before the latter fully understood what the Slytherin had said.
“Mr. Jo, are you implying that you were about to steal from me?”
“No, Professor, Jinho is taking the blame when really, I am the one to blame, I asked Changgu to steal some of your potion, Jinho didn’t!”
Now, Jinho was even more surprised. Even though some part of him didn’t want to look at Hongseok because it made him sad, confused and all mushy inside, he did it anyway, trying to understand what was going on. He was not the only one, apparently.
“I must say, I am beyond puzzled. Both of you claim you have wanted to steal a potion of mine, so, may I ask which one?”
At this point, Jinho didn’t feel like lying would get him anywhere. Also, stealing Felix from Slughorn wouldn’t make sense considering he had already won it once (even though, after all, maybe Slughorn would be more understanding of Jinho wanting to get another taste) and the potion of the living dead would, well, probably get him more than just expelled.
“The love potion, sir.”
Jinho’s ears perked up. Almost simultaneously did his and Hongseok’s eyes meet after they had both said the same four words.
“Oh my. Well, I, I must say that I am disappointed. But, you have confessed to me, so I reckon that counts as something. Still, I will have both of you in detention tomorrow. Also, twenty points each from Ravenclaw and Slytherin. I really would have expected more, Mr. Jo, especially from our head boy.”
Slughorn looked back at the boys behind him who were still rather dumbfounded.
“You three will also receive detention. Just not tomorrow. I have different plans for you. Still, twenty points from Slytherin and ten from Ravenclaw. You may go now.”
The three sixth years nodded and walked out of the room, not without giving their respective friend a very apologetic look. Jinho as well as Hongseok only shook their heads.
“Well, both of you have a free period now, don’t you? It so happens, that I do, too. I take that as the perfect opportunity for you to help me brew these potions again. Shall we?”
Neither of the boys could say no to their teacher, after all he was right. Still, it left Jinho quite flustered when Slughorn left the room to grab some ingredients and left the boys alone for some time. He really wanted to say something, wanted to ask why Hongseok had lied, but his lips couldn’t move, his brain couldn’t even form any coherent sentence that didn’t consist of him confessing his undying love for the boy.
It was Hongseok who broke the silence after all.
“You know, you didn’t have to do that,” he said before he bit his lip and looked at Jinho.
“Do what?” finally, he had found his voice again.
“Tell Slughorn that you wanted to steal the potion from him. I honestly don’t know what Changgu told you, but-,”
“Changgu didn’t tell me anything. I was there to steal that potion,” Jinho was sure that it was out of pure confusion that he found the strength in him to say this to Hongseok.
“Why would you need to steal love potion?” Hongseok’s question seemed so sincerely confused that it made Jinho’s heart skip a beat. Why he needed to steal a love potion?
“I could ask you the same thing.” Jinho blinked at Hongseok. Hongseok just stared back, still that confused look on his face.
Only then did the door open and Slughorn walked back in with the ingredients they needed to get these potions started.
It was obvious that in two free periods those potions weren’t fully ready. They had only finished Drought of the Living Dead when the free periods ended. Slughorn clapped his hand and looked at his two helpers with something like a half smile.
“Well, I’ll see you two again tomorrow. Be prepared to stay in for a while. I won’t go to the headmistress about you wanting to steal a love potion from me, boys, for that I’ll have you assist me in brewing the potions, that’s only fair, isn’t it?”
Hongseok and Jinho looked at him with wide eyes.
“But, sir, isn’t that gonna take a long time? I have Quidditch and-,”
“Well, Mr. Yang, you should have thought about that before you decided to have your younger friends steal from me. Now, out with you. Don’t want to see you cause any more trouble, I’m especially looking at you, Jinho. You are in my house and our head boy. Don’t want you going around doing foolish nonsense, you understand?”
Jinho simply nodded at that while Hongseok pulled a hand through his hair. Of course, this would take several evenings, have him absent from practise as well as spending time with his boyfriend. Jinho felt his stomach do an uncomfortable flip when he thought about that last part.
Together, the two seventh years walked out of the classroom and once the door fell shut behind them, they shared a quick gaze.
“Well, I’ll see you later,” Jinho mumbled before turning away from Hongseok, ready to quickly go into his common room and fetch some books for his next lesson. It was Herbology outside and he knew Hongseok didn’t take that anymore. Before he could walk away, though, Hongseok’s voice cut through the silence of the dungeons.
“I’m glad I get to do this with you, Jinho.”
Frozen in bis spot, Jinho stared at the wall at the far back of the hallway, not able to move a muscle even if he tried. Only when he heard Hongseok’s steps growing further away, did he spin around only to see Hongseok walk around the corner.
“He said that?!” Hyunggu was sitting on Jinho’s bed as Yanan laid on top of Seokjin’s (said Slytherin was not in at the moment, probably somewhere with Cass, harassing some first years or something like that). Jinho nodded at Hyunggu, staring at the ceiling.
“He did”, he confirmed. Hyunggu slapped his calf. Jinho moved his head slightly to give him an annoyed look.
“That’s good though, isn’t it? That means he likes spending time with you!” Hyunggu and his never dying optimism. Closing his eyes, Jinho rubbed his face with his left hand, wondering about how he could achieve this too, this ability to just be happy and positive whenever.
“So? You like spending time with me, too, doesn’t mean you wanna date me,” Jinho mumbled back, eyes still closed.
“Fair point,” Yanan chimed in now. Hyunggu groaned, shooting his boyfriend a glare.
“Well, that’s different. We’re friends. Hongseok and you aren’t exactly friends, are you? So, doesn’t that mean he likes spending time with you as something that isn’t as friends?”
Somehow Hyunggu’s words made Jinho’s head spin. He sat up now, legs still spread across the bed.
“You know, sometimes I really wish you could just not say whatever you’re thinking,” he said with furrowed brows. Hyunggu shrugged, giving his friend a kind smile.
“I just want you to stop shoving away the chance that he might like you back, hyung.”
“He likes Jinyoung. I thought we have established that?” Jinho shot back. Hyunggu rolled his eyes.
“That’s what some stupid rumours say. Who says they’re true?”
He did. Jinho did. Because he really wanted it to be true. It might be heart breaking, but it would at least make the chances of him finally moving on increase. It soothed his mind, made him feel as if he finally reached a certain point in his feelings, a point that led him to a way out, showed him the exit sign after years of pining after him and wondering what it would be like to hold his hand.
“I just wanted one day with him, Hyunggu, just one bloody day. And we failed. I’m not gonna risk getting caught bringing one of those love potions into the school even with the Weasley store doing very discreet shipping. I’m head boy, by Merlin, if I was caught-,”
“Doesn’t mean we can’t get it for you,” Yanan interrupted him, a smug smile on his lips. Jinho opened his mouth only to close it again and do that motion over.
“In fact, we might have already figured that at one point you’d feel like you needed to do something like this, so…”
Jinho almost fell of his bed when Yanan pulled a small bottle out of his trousers. It was pink and cute and pretty and Jinho knew immediately what Yanan had done. Hyunggu was quick to take Jinho’s hand in his.
“You might not even need it, hyung. If you would just talk to him, tell him how you feel. Maybe he’d surprise you?”
Jinho felt like he was surrounded by two beings. Hyunggu as the angel on his one shoulder and Yanan as the devil on the other. He had seen some legends about this, had even seen Muggles talking about it in books. He suddenly understood why everyone seemed so torn because his insides screamed at him, one part of them to just listen to Hyunggu’s words and another part to just take the bottle and put some of the potion into Hongseok’s juice tomorrow at detention.
“Put it on my nightstand, Yanan. I’ll see what I’ll do with it tomorrow.” Jinho got up from his bed after and walked into the bathroom, leaving Yanan and Hyunggu behind.
(When the door fell shut behind Jinho, Yanan and Hyunggu exchanged a look. They wondered if Jinho would take it. And if he did take it, if he would ever dare to bring it anywhere near the Ravenclaw boy. Hyunggu shook his head while Yanan shrugged. They just had to wait and see.
“If he finds out what we did, he will be pissed.” Hyunggu said. Yanan grinned.
“Or will he?”)
The next morning came faster than anticipated. Contrary to what he had believed, Jinho had fallen asleep rather quickly, woken up what felt like only seconds later by Seokjin telling him it was time for breakfast.
Jinho felt the day pass him by in a blur, the only thing he was aware of the bottle of love potion in the left pocket of his trousers. He still wasn’t sure about whether he should somehow sneak it into something to drink for Hongseok or just leave it, Hyunggu’s words from last night still ringing in his ears. But wasn’t it stupid? He had seen Jinyoung and Hongseok all cozied up together, hadn’t he? Had seen the way they would glance at each other across the room. It wasn’t all platonic, was it? If he was honest, his head was spinning at this point, too many factors getting involved in his thought process.
When the lessons ended that day, he met Hongseok in front of the potions classroom and smiled at him with his lips pressed together while Hongseok gave him a very enthusiastic wave that made Jinho’s heart flutter.
The door opened then and Slughorn let them in.
“Good to see you, boys”, he greeted them as they walked over to the desks they would work at, “we shall start with Felix Felicis today. I figured we should do Amortentia at the end – I don’t want any of you trying to steal from me so early in already.” It was obviously supposed to be a joke, but neither of the two boys laughed which caused Slughorn to cough and clear his throat.
“Anyways. I got everything ready over here. Please cut these ingredients and let me now once you’re done. You may chat as you go, but please stay concentrated, I don’t want to have to this all over again after you are gone.”
The two boys worked mostly in silence even though Jinho was rather sure that Hongseok had tried to start a conversation a few times only to be let down by Jinho’s eagerness to finish this quick and without any disturbances. He was a hopeless case. The potion was still heavy in his pocket, but he just didn’t have it in him to distract Hongseok and pour a bit of it into his water bottle that he had placed on another desk behind them. He felt himself aching for Hongseok, felt his heart yell at him to finally make a choice, but it was no use. Maybe he had already made up his mind, had already given up.
And none of this got any better the longer they met up for detention. They worked in complete silence only answering Slughorn here and then when he asked them a question.
It was the seventh time they met at detention, the second week had just started, when Hongseok finally broke the silence and made Jinho jump.
“Is it true your common room has a window that looks right into the black lake?” was the question he asked and Jinho needed a few second before he fully understood what Hongseok had just said, not to mention said to him.
“What?” Jinho blinked a few times. Hongseok cleared his throat, shifting awkwardly on his spot.
“Well, Jinyoung mentioned that to me once and I guess I was just curious.”
“Oh. Uh, yeah. We do have a window like that.” Jinho looked away from Hongseok again and continued stirring the potion clockwise. Hongseok could sense that something had shifted, and he chewed on his bottom lip.
“Jinho, did I- did I do anything to make you dislike me this much?”
Stopping in his motion again, Jinho felt Hongseok’s eyes burning into the side of his face. Suddenly, he felt as if someone had ripped the floor from under him and he was falling down into an endless darkness that was daring him to find a way back out again. Him disliking Hongseok? In what world? Slowly, the Slytherin turned his head to look into Hongseok’s face, a face that he had never seen look so unsure and insecure before. His heart broke a little bit.
“What makes you think that I dislike you?” he asked cautiously. He felt as if his voice sounded quite off, as if he tried his best to not sound confused and he hoped that Hongseok wouldn’t catch on. Thankfully, the Ravenclaw was too busy answering Jinho right away, not leaving any seconds to linger on Jinho’s way of speaking.
“You barely ever look at me and when you do, you just… you look away again right when I catch you. You never really smile when I’m around and I know that you are normally a bright person, so it must be because of me that you’re not smiling, right? I remember in our fifth year when we were all studying for our O.W.Ls, I asked Hwitaek if he wanted to form a study group and he said that he was already studying with you, but he would ask you if I could join and a few days later he told me you didn’t want to have such a big study group, only to spot you with literally three more people a week later. There was also this incident in Transfiguration the other day when I taught you how to do the spell and you basically froze under my touch, you were so freaking tense, I could basically feel the discomfort radiating off of you and I suck at Divination. Also, this, right here, I want to find something to talk to you about, but you just seem like you don’t even want to look at me, not to mention have a conversation with me. I just- I get it that sometimes people just don’t get along, but I- I don’t understand what I did to make you hate me this much.”
Once Hongseok had finished, he was breathing heavily, still staring into Jinho’s eyes. He looked so helpless that it made Jinho’s heart clench. His words were still ringing in his ears and only then did he really understand what Hongseok had even said. All those instances, the study group, the Transfiguration class incident, and this moment right here – they weren’t the way they were because Jinho hated Hongseok. More so the contrary.
Seeing him like this, the boy that had held his heart in his hands for so long, made Jinho forget all of his worries, forgot how he wanted to never let Hongseok know about his feelings. Made him want to try Hyunggu’s way of thinking.
He stopped stirring the potion and turned his whole body around, so he was facing Hongseok completely.
“Ask me again,” he said. Hongseok looked rather confused.
“What?”
“Ask me again why I would need to steal the potion.”
Blinking, Hongseok put the knife down with which he was cutting some rat tails and cleared his throat.
“Why would you need to steal the potion?” he finally asked then.
Jinho took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.
“Because I wanted to feel the love of the one person, I knew I can never have for at least one day, that’s why. And I know that this love isn’t real love, but I needed to feel close to him and if only for a day. I wanted him to look at me with stars in his eyes for once, just that one time,” Jinho stayed still as he spoke, or at least tried to, but he knew that his hands were shaking, and his eyes were about to shed all the tears he had held back for so long.
“I have been in love with him for years and I never had the courage to tell him, I always felt like he could never like me back, like he could do so much better. Hongseok, I never meant for you to think I hate you, by Merlin, if anything I feel the exact opposite for you. You are the only person I ever felt this way about and yet I have no clue how to show my feelings, how to approach you. I was, am, scared of talking to you, of being in the same room with you, because I worry that I might lose control over myself, that I might just yell my feelings at you. And that was why I wanted to steal that potion. I wanted to give it to you, Hongseok, wanted you to drink it and be mine even if it’s fake, even if it’s only for a god damn day.”
Now, it was Jinho who was breathing heavily, staring Hongseok down. The Ravenclaw boy seemed glued to where he was standing, his eyes wide and his jaw dropped. Of course, why would he react any other way? Jinho suddenly felt all of the weight his words had carried break down on him and he took a step backwards, ready to leave the room and never return, may Slughorn be screwed.
But he couldn’t turn around because there was a hand tugging on his robes and pulling him back, making his body crush into another one, someone else’s lips suddenly on his.
It took him a few seconds before he realised who was kissing him. Hongseok had his one hand still on Jinho’s sleeve, the other was somewhere on Jinho’s waist, his head tilted down since Jinho was significantly shorter than him. Finally, after what felt like years, Jinho kissed him back, letting his eyes fall shut and his hands wander to Hongseok’s back, letting the warmth of the kiss swallow him whole.
Never in a million years had he imagined to ever feel like this. His stomach full of butterflies, his skin on fire, his brain a mess that wasn’t able to form any coherent thoughts. He felt as if he was flying, not the way you do on a broom, no, more like flying without anything helping you to do it. His head was spinning, and his blood was rushing through his body in high speed, his heart was racing, and his hands felt so sweaty he was scared he would leave traces on Hongseok’s robes.
Shortly after, Hongseok parted from him, leaning his forehead against Jinho’s, and letting out a breathy laugh.
“I can’t believe you wanted to steal that stupid love potion out of the same reason, as me,” he whispered, making Jinho jerk back.
“What?”
Hongseok laughed again, putting a hand on Jinho’s cheek.
“I guess we had the same idea. Steal that love potion and give it to the person we’ve been in love with for years but always too scared to approach.”
“W-wait, you- you have been- you can’t possibly mean-,” Jinho’s jaw dropped again and Hongseok shook his head, laughing yet again, such a beautiful and honest laugh it made Jinho’s knees all weak.
“Jinho, why do you think I kissed you? Because I wanted the potion for someone else? Holy shit, I can’t believe we could have done this for years if only we hadn’t been this stupid.” Hongseok kissed Jinho again, his arms fully wrapped around the Slytherin now. Jinho melted against Hongseok’s chest, his tiny hands holding onto Hongseok’s robes.
“But I thought you like Jinyoung.” Jinho breathed out after their kiss and Hongseok snorted.
“Jinyoung? God, no. He has literally been telling me all about you for the past two years. He didn’t want to meddle because that’s “not who he is”, but he would always tell me if you mentioned me or something. He was also the one who came up with the idea of the love potion.”
Now, it was Jinho who laughed. This was all ridiculous but in the best way.
“So, to get this straight. You are not in love with Jinyoung or anyone else, you are in love with-,”
“You, I am in love with you.”
Jinho smiled. Hongseok caressed his cheek. They kissed again and were sure that nothing in the world could compare to this feeling right here.
When the door opened and Slughorn spotted the two boys kissing, he shook his head with a knowing smile, closing the door again as he walked back out. Reaching into the front pocket of his robes, he fished out the letter he had received from three sixth year boys who had asked him for help in the matter of love. And Horace Slughorn wouldn’t be himself if he ever turned down the opportunity to help people find love.
