Archive of Our Own

The Finale
The crowd noise stared to bleed into the background. It had started early tonight, or at least it seemed to. None of them were sure if it was because Big Brother were actually setting up early, taking longer to get the staging together because it was the final, or if they were doing it to unnerve the housemates.
It was probably to increase their anxiety, that was something they would definitely do. As if the fact that their palms were clammy and moist, and they had to keep fanning themselves to avoid sweat patches on their best outfits wasn’t enough. No one wanted to walk out the door looking like a damp otter.
Habiba came over and squeezed his hand. “Alright?” she said, swishing her hair back. “I think my make up may melt off if we don’t get started soon. I’m going to end up looking like a used candle.”
“I don’t think it’ll be long now,” he said, smiling back at her. “They’ve got to start early to get all the interviews done, ain’t they.”
“Hmm,” Habiba muttered, raising her eyebrows. “Big Brother like to play with us. You never know what they’re going to do! Anyway, your little love bug is in the bedroom calling for you!”
“Better go see what he wants then, haven’t I?” Callum replied, giving her arm a squeeze.
Callum walked into the bedroom, looking at the man before him and smiling. “You look nice,” he said running a hand down his arm. “All set for tonight?”
“As I’ll ever be!” he said, with a laugh back. “Nothing’s going to spoil our evening.”
Callum went over and gave him a hug. “I can’t wait to get out of here,” he whispered into Simon’s ear. “I can’t wait to be alone and finally be together.”

Day Thirty Eight

“What?” Callum asked, looking around at his housemates. This was ridiculous. Ben wasn’t gone. It had to be some kind of sick joke. Though he knew by the looks on their faces, it wasn’t.
Callum ran up to the Diary Room, almost every second seeming like wading through sand, delaying him from getting there, pulling him further apart from Ben. He rapped his fists harshly on the door until they stung, and then kept going through the numbness until the points of stabbing pain appeared.
There were voices in the distance behind him, seeming close but too distant in his mind to really ever matter. “He’s not in there!” Simon called out, not even trying to input some gentleness into his tone.
“He might still be in there!” Habiba replied hopefully. “He might just be quiet.”
“As if Ben could be quiet!” Ruby laughed out, ever vibration of her chuckle digging and grating into Callum’s skin. “Besides the shouting’s stopped; you know they’ve convinced him to leave.”
Ben hadn’t wanted to go. He hadn’t expected this. He hadn’t agreed with it. But then he’d stopped protesting after a short time. Was that all it took, just a few minutes and he was fine with leaving? It didn’t seem right. It didn’t seem like him.
“I didn’t think anything of it at first,” Dotty said, surprise clear in her voice. It was shaking slightly, and she was stammering her words. “He’s always kicking off about something, I thought he was just pissed off about having to stop getting his end away for five seconds.”
Callum stopped hitting the surface, resting his hand on the door. It beat in time with his heart, sorely and painfully and he wished that it would all just stay in his hand. Ben wasn’t on the other side. He’d know if he was. He would just know. He was gone.
He couldn’t be gone. It wasn’t fair. Callum had only just found him. That was him all over though. The first time in his life he finally got something he wanted, the first time he was allowed to be happy and it was snatched away. It just wasn’t him. He wasn’t allowed to be happy. That was other people’s lives. That was for everyone else. It wasn’t Callum’s reality. That wasn’t his story.
“They’ve done this before mate,” Kush said, a hand settling on his shoulder. Somewhere deep inside he appreciated the gesture of comfort. That wasn’t the overriding feeling though. The strongest emotion coursing through his body was the fact it wasn’t Ben’s hand. The touch felt different. He didn’t want it there, and it took all his strength not to knock the reassuring fingers away. “It’s just what Big Brother does, isn’t it? We knew it when we signed up for this.”
Callum didn’t want to hear it. Instead, he started to press the button, over and over again. The clicking built the adrenaline in his body even further as a new level of aching was brought into his hand.
“Mate, he won’t still be in there,” Kush said, gripping his arm to make him stop hitting it when the light flashed green. “He’s gone.”
“I know,” Callum muttered, placing his fingers on the handle. “But that ain’t why I’m going in there.”
Swinging the door harshly open, he started to stride determinedly towards the small room at the end of the corridor. He belted the second handle down, going straight in, sitting down and leaning towards the camera. Callum tried not to think about the fact that Ben would have been in here only moments ago. All he wanted to do was curl up on this chair, sob into it and hope it would all go away. He had other plans though.
“Hello Callum.” There was almost an audible exhale that escaped his lips at the sound of the voice. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear. It would do though.
“Where is he?” he demanded, pointing to the screen. “You tell me where he is, and you tell me now.”
“Callum, as part of this week’s task, the audience were told that the housemates in possession of the diamond at the end of the challenge would be put up for a surprise eviction. As result of you and Ben stealing the diamond from the task, you were both put up for a public vote. The votes were all counted and verified and Ben was evicted this evening from the Big Brother house.”
Callum scoffed at the answer. He knew all of that, or at least he could have guessed the excuse they used. With just two of them up, they could manipulate the result any way they chose. “I wanna go. Can you open the door, please?”
It had been instantaneous, the feeling of wanting to go after Ben. He couldn’t be here without him. He couldn’t be anywhere without him. It had only been seconds, and already it felt too much.
“Big Brother understands how you are feeling, Callum. We realise that housemates create strong bonds and evictions can be a stressful and upsetting time.”
“You don’t know!” he called out, flopping back on the chair. “You don’t know or understand how I feel.”
Something caught his eye in the corner of the Diary Room, something small and black, and he squinted his gaze closer, before the realisation of what it was hit him.
“I’m not changing my mind!” he replied. He wanted it to all go away, everything that was bothering him, everything that was niggling at his mind for weeks. It could just be left unsolved. All he wanted to do was run out of here, run away from it all and hide. If he found Ben then they could hide together and it would all go away.
“Callum, it takes Big Brother some time to organise a housemate leaving. We suggest you get a good night’s sleep, talk to your other housemates and decide in the morning if you still want to leave the house.”
He didn’t want to wait until the morning. That was too much time. Too much time for everything to come crumbling down around him, and he’d have to sort and pick through the pieces to even hope to escape. That was too hard. At the moment, he had a clear path.
Getting up from the Diary Room chair, he gave the door a kick to open it. His feet were moving on their own now, his natural instincts taking over, and before he knew it he was back in the house, storming through the lounge towards the garden.
Ignoring the calling of his name, he ripped open the door and headed to the fence. Callum kicked it, but it held solid, so he kept trying, moving round and using all his strength to boot and push at each part of the fence.
“What are you doing?” Habiba was screaming behind him. “Callum! You’ll get yourself kicked out.”
“Good!” he replied, moving around, treading and trampling the flowers and plants that were in his way. “I’m trying to find a weak spot. There must be one here; a fake panel they use to get into the garden.”
A hand tried to grab on to him again, but he shook it off. “Why are you trying to find a weakness?” Habiba asked. “Callum! Will you stop and talk instead of trying to velociraptor your way through a fence! You aren’t trying to leave, are you?”
“When I can get through the fence, I am,” he said, kicking the panelling with more force every time it stayed, unrelenting under his effort. “I don’t want to be here if he ain’t here.”
“That’s just stupid! You don’t want to waste your opportunity in the house.”
“Shut up, Simon!” he bit back, not wanting to hear that now. He didn’t care about this. He didn’t care about any of it, or anyone. Only Ben.
“Callum.” Another hand on his arm, softer this time, and pleading for him to stop. “Please don’t leave me. Just stop and think for a second, alright?”
It was the last thing he wanted to do. Thinking about all of this wouldn’t get him anywhere; it was a hopeless situation, and he could see only one easy way out.
Then there was Habiba, looking at him with her sad, large eyes and gripping on tightly like he was the only thing in the world stopping her from blowing away in the breeze.
Patting her hand comfortingly, he gave a little nod. It would wait until morning. Then Big Brother would have to let him leave.

Day Thirty Nine

There was a warmth of Callum’s cheek when he woke, as some soft strokes brushed against it when he moved. He breathed in the familiar scent, and his whole body settled and stilled from the tornado dreams he was having.
That was before he opened his eyes. Truly opened them wide and realised he was all by himself in the Snug, the blankets cuddled up to his body. Both comforting, and an unwelcome reminder of who wasn’t there.
Pulling himself up with a groan, Callum ran his fingers through his hair. It was morning, he could feel it though the door still prevented any natural light from seeping through. He’d woken up without Ben. That wasn’t new, but after the previous day it felt it. Now he’d had a small taste, he wanted more. It had been ripped away from him.
Big Brother had to let him leave today though. They couldn’t keep him here for much longer, there was only so many excuses they could give.
The door shot open, the light boreing in. Habiba crept inside, sitting beside him and pulling her knees up to her chest. “I’ve made some breakfast if you want some,” she said in a whisper. “We’ve got mushrooms and toast. Only we didn’t have any bread out of the store cupboard, so it’s just mushrooms and jam. I can pack up some to go if you want? In case you get hungry on your trip.”
The guilt did hit him a little. He knew Habaiba didn’t want him to go, and she felt left behind. He’d promised her he’d be there for her, and now he was already backing away. “I’m only going out the door, Habs,” he said quietly. “I ain’t traipsing through lands unknown.”
“Big Brother have asked us to pack up Ben’s things,” Habiba replied, clearly not wanting to discuss it. “I didn’t know if you wanted to do it? Dotty’s offered, but I’m frankly a little afraid she’ll just rip things into shreds if they don’t quite fit in.”
Callum nodded, and hauled himself up off the cushions. He needed to go back in the Diary Room, tell Big Brother he was going home. He’d get Ben’s things packed up and then go back in. They’d have to let him leave. He’d given it the night. He’d kick the door down if he had to.
Going into the bedroom, he stepped over to the bed. His and Ben’s bed. It had been just comforting to be there with him. It wasn’t like with Whitney, where he felt his hackles raise, standing on edge all the time, unable to relax. Being in bed with some you liked, someone you fancied and adored, was completely different. It took away the emptiness. The lack of space wasn’t a factor, because it didn’t feel like it was lacking anything. It just felt right. The warmth. Knowing you could reach over at any point and find someone there. The person you wanted there.
The suitcase had already been brought in and Dotty was lingering by Ben’s dresser drawers like she was afraid something would jump out at her if she got too close.
“Oh, thank god!” she exclaimed, as Callum got nearer. “The thought of rustling through his underwear didn’t set me off in glee!”
“Does anything send you off in glee?” he said back, with a smirk.
She gave him a little glare. “He fuck a bit of his personality into you did he?” she said dropping down onto the bed.
“Dotty!” Habiba cried, as Callum opened up the drawers and started to pull out Ben’s clothes. “We can’t speak ill of the dead!”
“He’s not kicked the bucket, Habs! He’s just left this house!” she replied. “Life does exist outside these four walls and the barbed wire fence.”
“It doesn’t always feel like it,” she remarked. “Sometimes it feels that we’re the only people in this world. Like some apocalypse movie. It’s just left to us to repopulate the earth.”
Callum placed the items in the case, flattening them down with his hands carefully. It didn’t feel right, it felt strange to have Ben’s things here, but not him.
“Repopulate how?” Dotty asked, swinging a nail varnish around in her hands. “There’s only three blokes in here; Simon, who even if he wasn’t batting firmly for the other side, I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole for fear the offspring would be some creepy horror film stalkers. There’s Heartbroken Harry over there, who if you even looked at him slightly in the wrong direction, you’d have to face the wrath of Ben when you got out. Who does that leave? Kush?”
“Kush would be alright,” she said with a shrug. “He looks good, and he’s actually quite sweet when you talk to him alone.”
“He’s gone over to the dark side!” Dotty replied, pausing a little as if she expected a response that she didn’t get. “He’s so easily led astray. He can’t see what’s in front of his eyes. You need to set your sights higher, Habs. We shouldn’t be scuttling around with the dregs of the bottom of the pond. No offence, Callum.”
“I’m fine as I am,” Habiba said with a sigh, folding and then refolding one of Ben’s shirts before throwing it in the suitcase. “I can’t take the hassle of finding someone new when we’re out of here.”
“You’ll be hitting them away, Habs,” Callum said. “They’ll be queuing up for you.”
“That’s not a help!” she replied. “It’s alright for you. It’s not something you have to worry about. It’s a minefield when you’re single and looking for someone new, completely different if you’ve already sampled them! It’s like going to your favourite restaurant, where you’ve always had the same meal from the menu before. You know what you’re getting. Sure, it might not exactly tickle your tastebuds anymore, but it’s the safe choice and you know you’re not going home hungry. With someone new though, it’s like picking something different from the menu that you’ve never had before. It might be absolutely delicious, and leave you begging for more.”
“Or you might go home sick, hungry and convinced that you never want to eat again,” Dotty finished, as Habiba nodded. “It’s an exhausting risk to take.”
“Sometimes risks pay off,” he replied, pulling half a packet of liquorice from the draw. He moved to throw it on the side, somebody else could probably eat it. Ben had all the liquorice he could get his hands on now he was outside. Callum hoped that’s all he was getting his hands on.
It worried him a little, that maybe now Ben had the whole world around him, Callum wouldn’t seem as appealing. He tried to think back to their night together, knowing how fumbling and inexperienced he was, but also knowing how it felt. That couldn’t have just been from his side. Now, though, Ben could have the pick of anyone he wanted. At least he wasn’t jealous of Tubbs anymore. He couldn’t imagine how he’d feel if he knew they were both on the outside and there was a risk of them hooking up.
Tubbs. Something just clicked in Callum’s brain, an idea that had been rolling around since the man had left the other day. Moving around the bed, he picked around in his own drawer underneath his socks, until he pulled up the rolled piece of paper.
Callum undid it and read it again, like he had a hundred times. The words finally beginning to make sense. He didn’t see it before. Maybe because he didn’t want to. It was all clear now though as he played every word in his head. ‘We ain’t real.’
The words were scrawled in bright red, which initially Callum had worried was blood, but must have been one of the girl’s make up products. Some lip stain gloss that had to be wiped off with turps to get it off your face.
Callum shoved the paper into his pocket, before quickly getting to his feet. “Habs keep packing Ben’s things, will you?” he said, as he headed towards the door. “I’ve just gotta check something.”
“You’re not going are you?” Dotty said anxiously, sitting up on the bed. “Not now?”
He shook his head in confirmation. “Nah, not at the moment. I think I’ve been convinced to hang about for a bit.”
Walking out into the lounge, he tried to look natural, as if he was just wandering around and pottering away the hours. Callum wiped up a few of the pots in the kitchen, threw away some left over jammy mushrooms, before going to settle on the sofa. He picked up the Welcome Pack, just pretending to skim through until he got the reaction he was hoping for. It didn’t take long.
“I’m sorry about before, Callum,” Simon said, settling down next to him. “I understand it can be hard to lose someone in here when you’ve all spent so long getting to know them. I’m here if you want to talk.”
Callum swallowed deeply, the anger almost retching back up and expelling from his throat. He forced it down though, past the gag and gurgle until it settled in his stomach, growling away. “No, I’m sorry,” he said, giving a quick tap to Simon’s arm. He hoped it was convincing. It didn’t feel like it. “I’m being ridiculous I know. Not like anyone’s died, is it? I’m gotta calm down a bit, probably giving myself high blood pressure or something. What does it have to be in order to count as high?”
Simon looked quizzically at him, like a greyhound that had just spotted the rabbit was just a bit of fluff on wheels. “What?”
“For your blood pressure to be high? What does it have to be?” he repeated, turning towards the man and trying to show his most open and honest face. “When you have to take it on the patients, I’m guessing paramedics have to be able to spot that stuff, don’t they?”
“Yeah,” he said nodding, looking around the room, before starting to get up. “Yeah, but it’s just boring old numbers. I probably come off uninteresting as it is, I don’t want to start spouting off statistics and get the audience to turn off! Anyway, like I said, I’m here if you need anything at all.”
Callum beamed back at him. “Yeah, cheers for that. I think I might take you up on it,” he replied, scraping his finger along the folder to keep the smile etched on his face.
When Simon was finally out of sight, Callum reached out and grabbed the short black liquorice strand from the binder that he spotted when he was flicking through. Another breadcrumb. He must have known they would do something like this.
Simon wasn’t who he said he was, nor was he who Big Brother claimed. That’s what Tubbs had meant.
Callum thought back to his time in the Loft, how they had manipulated Callum into thinking his was choosing fresh faces. People who were nervous as he was, who had the same fears and ignorance that he did. He had been shown their videos. Naively, he assumed it was as a gift, to give him some sort of inside edge. It wasn’t. It was to make him believe he did. It was to make him believe they were real.
Tubbs had essentially outed himself, in more ways than one. That’s why he bowed out and threw himself on the sword. It wasn’t for him, whatever Big Brother had asked him to do, whatever they had employed him to do. He left on his terms, with his integrity intact.
Now, Simon. It had all been so much, the attention hie was giving Callum, the constant following, the remarks, the touches. It was all for show. It was all so Big Brother would have enough footage to make it seem like they were together a lot of the day. Thirty minutes is nothing out of a twenty four hour day, but it’s a hell of a lot in an hour show.
That was two out of the four. It didn’t really surprise him that Ruby was out to cause trouble. He suspected that she would do that even without the go ahead of Big Brother. She had certainly rattled enough cages since she had been there. They wouldn’t be here to win, so she had nothing to lose. None of them would be in the running to win. They were just here to stir trouble and direct the conversation. Every single one of them. They weren’t real.
Callum whipped himself up out of the sofa, almost running into the person in front of him. “God, sorry!” he said, steadying them.
“In a rush? Not many places to run to in here, are there?” Frankie said, before holding a plate out to him. “Cake? It’s coffee and walnut. It’s best for getting over an eviction!”
Looking at the cake and then back up to the woman’s face, he tried to spot the lie there, tried to see the deceit. She looked so honest and open, but perhaps that made it all the more deceptive. With someone like Ruby, she was her cunningness on her sleeve with pride. What had Big Brother said to Frankie to make her come in here with an agenda? Ben had sense something. It was clear what it was now. Consoling him when he was upset, eking out information from him, making a moment out of the aftermath of a fight with Ben and bringing him cake. Dammit. How many times in his life would he be lured in by a good piece of cake?
“Thanks,” he said, taking the plate from her. “What’s the flavour for ‘I don’t know whether to keep doing this or not?’”
“That’s carrot cake, I think,” she said with a laugh. Callum took a big bite of the cake, and the crumbs grabbed and scratched at his throat. He hated coffee and walnut cake. Why would you want a drink in a cake? You didn’t get a Ribena cake, did you? Add that with something that would break your teeth, it didn’t make a good combination. He took another bite anyway. It was still cake. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He placed the slice back on the plate and licked his lips for crumbs. “I’m alright at the moment, Frank,” he said, handing it back to her. “I’ve just got to pop into the Diary Room, actually, but I know where to find you when I need you. Nowhere to run, right?”
She gave him a smile, and he turned to walk down the other end of the house. Gently, he pressed the Diary Room button, trying to stop his foot from jiggling. He was trying to seem calm. Trying to seem like everything was perfectly normal.
When the green light flashed, he pushed the door, and lowered himself down on the seat, lounging casually on the arm. He gave it a few seconds, his ears pricked up to hear the tone of the voice, but there was nothing. They were waiting for him to talk.
“Hi Big Brother,” he said, his tone as cheerful as he could make it without seeming overly ecstatic. It was a fine line he was trying to thread. A thin piece of cotton in an even thinner needle was challenge enough, before he even tried to track down what he needed to sew and connect together.
“Good morning Callum,” the voice replied. “How are you feeling today?”
It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, and he tried not to let his shoulders visually slump. “Yeah, a lot better thanks,” he replied quickly. There was no point being in here now. He needed to get back to the bedroom before Habiba and Dotty finished packing Ben’s case. Big Brother’s voice was still talking to him though. “Sorry, what?”
“Do you still want to leave the house, Callum?”
Looking straight down the camera, he gave his clear reply. “No. I’m gonna stay. This is where I should be. I’m not gonna give up now.”

When he left the Diary Room, Callum quickly made his way back to the bedroom where Dotty and Habiba had both clambered onto the suitcase.
“Habs?” he asked, trying to keep his voice level. “Can I borrow some moisturiser?”
“What?” she answered, looking at him with confusion. “Dotty, the zip’s still not closing! Who would have thought he had so many clothes? He wore basically the same thing every day!”
“It must have all gone in there at some point! He’s been up for eviction enough times! His clothes have spent more time in this case than anywhere else!” Dotty replied bouncing up and down on it. “God, that fucker’s gonna be sitting home watching this and having a field day!”
Callum cleared his throat to get their attention. “Habs? Your hand moisturiser? Can I borrow some?” he repeated, edging towards her bed.
“Oh, yeah, sure,” she said, pulling at the zip. “You know where it is.”
Dotty curled her lip up at him in disgust. “He’s only been gone a few hours, Callum. Can’t you wait a bit longer?” she said, wincing slightly when she heard a crack below her. “Please tell me the scent of his sweaty socks hasn’t sent you into a boner tizzy.”
Callum tutted at her. “No!” he replied, moving towards Habiba’s bedside table and opening the bag. He quickly took what he needed, slipping it into his palm. “I’ve just got dry hands from that cheap washing up liquid.”
“Oh yeah, dry hands!” she replied with a roll of her eyes, as he made his way towards the toilet. “That sounds like a convincing excuse to scurry into the bathroom all lubed up!”
He gave a chuckle as he closed the door behind him. There was just one camera in here, on the wall facing the toilet. It wouldn’t see if he had his back turned.
Callum made a movement of unzipping his jeans, then quickly took Tubbs’ note out of his pocket. He changed the ‘we’re’ to ‘it’s’ with Habiba’s lip gloss, and then turned over to write the digits six, six, eight and nine. He really hoped this worked. He hoped he understood.
After a minute, and when he was sure the liquid had dried, he folded up the note in his palm. Callum zipped himself back up before setting Habiba’s things down by the sink, and going back into the bedroom. He stopped sharply when he couldn’t see either of them or the suitcase. Shit.
Quickly, Callum jogged over to the bed and grabbed the liquorice, before bolting out the bedroom. “Wait!” he called out, still trying to not seem too eager. “I need to put this in there!”
The two women were rolling the case into the storeroom, and stopped when they heard Callum’s voice. “It’s too late!” Dotty called out. “I had to do things to this case that probably shouldn’t be done in public, just to get it closed. There is no way in hell it’s opening back up. Leave the sweets here! We’ll need them more than he will.”
Callum shook his head. “No, it’ll only remind me of him if its hanging about,” he said, and he couldn’t help but notice Habiba’s curious look towards him. “Give us it here! I can squeeze it in.”
“Is that what you said to him the other night?” Dotty said with a grin, before wincing as Callum tried to get the zip open.
“It’s all going to explode out if you’re not careful!” Habiba said, barely being able to watch, as he managed to wiggle the pack in the tiny gap.
“Don’t!” he said, holding his finger up at Dotty when she went to open her mouth. “There, all done. See? I told you it would work.”

Day Forty

“Good Morning Big Brother,” he said cheerfully, perching on the edge of the chair.
Callum waited for the voice to come through, chewing his lip nervously. He had come into the Diary Room the previous night as well, before going to bed. Reluctantly, he slept in the bedroom last night, making sure he seemed normal, whatever that was in any case. The bed seemed empty though.
“Good Morning, Callum. How are you today?”
It wasn’t what he wanted to hear again, but he couldn’t let his anger show. He couldn’t let it bleed through. “I’m feeling good, cheers,” he answered with a smile. He was hating those smiles, plastering them on like a mask. “Obviously, it can get quite intense in here, so when someone you like leaves, you feel a bit disappointed. I’m starting to realise that there are still loads of great people in here that I trust and get on with. I’m gotta remember to be strong.”
“Do you have any plans for today?”
Shaking his head, he gave a little shrug. “I think I’m gonna do a bit of cooking with Habs and Frankie; I know they want to make a cake,” he replied. “Probably a bit of a work out with Kush and Ruby, and then Simon’s gonna teach me how to give a neck massage. He did an aromatherapy course at the community college.”
At least he had the answer now for how Simon managed to fit in so many leisure courses while juggling a busy paramedic career. Callum really wasn’t looking forward to their night time teaching session though. He shivered at the thought.

There was no other reason to be in the Diary Room so he left shortly after that and walked into the garden, approaching the chicken coop. Callum clicked the lock of the gate open and entered inside, being bombarded immediately by all five chickens.
They had all helped out care for them the last few days, but Callum knew they missed Ben. He wondered what would happen to them all once the show was over, but then he stopped himself thinking that far ahead. It stirred to many feelings that needed to be settled for now. Bending over, he picked up Ann and scooped her into his arms, ignoring Connie’s clucking of shock and outrage.
Callum petted her for a little bit, rubbing softly at her feathers and she eased into his touch.
“I don’t think they understand where he’s gone,” Habiba said, coming to lean on the fence. “They’re confused by everything. They seem to trust you though.”
The last thing Callum wanted to talk about was Ben. “They’ll be alright,” he replied. “They’re only birds, ain’t they? They’ll have forgotten all about him in a couple of days.”
Habiba squinted at him before leaning back a little. “Callum, what’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he replied, as Connie started to undo his shoelace in a hope he would trip up and she could pounce on him. “I’m really happy.”
“Yes!” she exclaimed. “That’s what’s wrong! I thought you’d be a little more upset about the eviction.”
“It’s fine, Habs!” he replied, holding Ann so close that she bustled a little at the squeeze. “It’s the name of the game, ain’t it? People have to leave, it’s not like I can’t see him on the outside if I want.”
Habbiba squawked so loudly that she set Penny off doing the same, both of them flapping their wings in outrage. “If you want?” she asked shaking her head. “He’s been the most important thing to you in here, and now it’s like you might have a pint with him if you happen to run into him down the pub!”
“There are more important things, Habs,” he said, placing Ann down. “We all come in here by ourselves, we’ve all got to build our own strength, ain’t we? I’m here to win, Habs.”

Day Forty Two

Callum burst out into a laugh that filled the whole house. “Then what happened?” he snorted out, laying back on the sofa, trying not to spill his cocktail.
“The guy just pulled up his trousers and left!” Simon giggled back, patting Callum’s thigh. “I don’t think I’ve ever locked the window so fast!”
Pretending to wipe the tears out of his eyes, Callum touched Simons hand where it lay on his leg. “I ain’t surprised!” he replied. “God, there’s some mad people about, ain’t there? Why can’t we just find a nice, decent person to be with, that’s not got any drama attached!”
There was a loud tapping across the other end of the sofa as Habiba whacked her straw angrily against her glass. Callum ignored it. He had to. Unfortunately, he couldn’t ignore the words that fell from her lips. “Ben wasn’t exactly drama free, but that didn’t stop you humping up next to him, did it?”
She had been in a mood with him for days now, all through the French themed shopping task they had received, and now sitting there glaring at him as they celebrated with some cocktails. It wasn’t just her; Dotty was giving him the same look. He was slightly concerned that her snarl would actually be able to kill.
“Ben’s great, and we had a real laugh in here,” Callum explained. “That don’t mean anything on the outside though does it? He’s probably out there now getting his kicks, ain’t he? You get it, Kush right?”
Kush looked a little confused by the question, but gave a reluctant nod. “It’s not always real in here, we’re in such a bubble,” he said. “I think once you’re outside with all the people and things you know, it’s gonna be very different.”
“I bet any money that he’s currently on his knees sucking off some six packed bit of beef in a dodgy club in Catford,” Ruby joked out. “He’ll have a beer in one hand and his cock in another and having the time of his life with his new found fame! There’ll be a different fella every night at least!”
Callum wanted to throw up, and it wasn’t with just whatever Big Brother had put into this orange cocktail. He had tried to make sure he had been sipping it, trying to keep a clear head, but at the moment, all he wanted to do was down it and then consume the whole jug it came from. All he wanted to do was get out of his head and get that image out of his mind.
What if it was true? What if Ben hadn’t got his note? Even if he had, what if he was so disgusted at what Callum had been doing, that he didn’t want him anyway. Why should he wait? Ruby was right; there would be a queue of guys out there trying to get his attention. What if he didn’t wait?
“No, he wouldn’t,” Dotty said fiercely, looking down with annoyance at her drink, as if she blamed it for saying the words out loud. “He wouldn’t do that. Not to Callum.”
“It’s not like they’re in a relationship though, is it?” Simon said, scratching the denim on Callum’s thigh. He was going to throw up, he knew it. He could feel the citrus acid start to rise in the throat, and at any moment he was going to belch out a litre of orange over the carpet. “I’m sure Callum would understand if he was getting his kicks.”
He nodded with a smile. “Course,” he replied. “We just had a bit of fun that’s all. We’re too different though. I like him a lot, but he made it really clear to me what he wanted. There’s no hard feelings. We left things on an understanding.”
“See?” Simon said, smirking towards Dotty and Habiba who looked like they may scratch his eyes out if they got in a close enough reach. “Ben’s great for a good time, but guys like me and Callum want something a bit more stable and secure. Don’t we, babe?”
That’s it, he could feel it rise in his throat as he nodded in confirmation. “I’m feeling a bit queasy from these orange things,” he said, staggering up and stumbling towards the bathroom. He didn’t look back, he just needed to get there as quickly as possible.
As soon as he reached the toilet, he got onto his knees and threw up into the bowl, the acid burning his throat as he retched.
His breathing was heavy, and his forehead dripping with sweat, but his head was clear. He wasn’t drunk, not even tipsy. This was just so hard.
The door swung open harshly, hitting his toes. “Fuck!” he said, grabbing his foot and glaring up. “What are you doing?”
“We need to talk!” Dotty said, flushing the toilet with a grimace, before standing up on the seat and placing two towels around the camera and the microphone. “Habiba! Will you get in here!”
“I can’t deal with Callum when he’s sick!” a voice called from outside the toilet. “Not again! Especially not without Ben here! I spent too many times in a toilet with Edele from Bewitched, rubbing her back while she spewed all over the place!”
“Shut up and switch your mic off and get in here!” Dotty replied, practically dragging her inside and banging the door closed. She reached into Callum’s waistband and switched off his microphone pack, before doing the same with her one and Habiba’s. “He’s fine! He’s not even slightly drunk; you can tell because he’s not slurring out how wonderful Ben is and trying to climb the fence in an effort to find him!”
“I am here you know!” Callum said, scrabbling to his feet and leaning against the wall.
“We’ll deal with you in a minute!” Dotty warned. “The reason he’s chucking up, Habs, is because he can’t bear to let Slimer get his weird sticky hands on him! Now you can talk, Callum. What exactly is going on with you?”
Habiba looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Is it the stress?” she asked. “Has that caused you to have ambrosia and forget all about Ben? Only you’ve been all over Simon, letting him put his hands on your neck the other day. I tried to get in front of him and ended up being punched in the boob!”
“It’s not the only time either,” Dotty said accusingly. “I can’t walk into the room without seeing you throw your head back and laugh at one of his loser stories! And you’ve suddenly become best buds with Ruby and Frankie! Plus, you’ve been disappearing into the Diary Room every five minutes!”
Callum glanced up at the camera and microphone, making sure it was securely covered, before moving closer to both of them. “Can you keep a secret?”

Day Forty Five

“And the next housemate to be evicted from the Big Brother house is…Frankie!”
Callum breathed a sigh of relief, even though he knew it wasn’t going to be him. The nominations had taken place a few days previously, and predictably he wasn’t amongst them. Habiba and Dotty were though, and he didn’t want them to go. He wasn’t sure he could manage the pretence without both of them here.
He felt two hands settle on his shoulders, and he leaned back into the touch with a smile as he started to scream inside. “I can’t believe it’s only five days to go before the final!” Simon said, and Callum’s skin was starting to itch and prickle under his touch. “Five days and then we’ll both be out of here. It’ll be nice to go for a drink and have a chat just the two of us, won’t it?”
Callum nodded. He was still not quite sure how much of Simon’s advances were instructed, and how much was actually him. So far, he’d managed to keep him from his bed, but he had to put up with his little touches here and there, his closeness and familiarity, and it was killing Callum. He knew it wasn’t long to wait, but without knowing what Ben was thinking about it, those five days would be torture.
“Come on, Callum! Let’s dance to celebrate!” Habiba called out, coming over and grabbing his hand. Thank God for her. Every time Simon started to snuggle up to close, she’d hurl herself in like a flying squirrel to put her body between them.
“There’s no music playing,” Simon commented, the annoyance evident in his voice.
“God, Simon! Have some imagination will you! You don’t have to hear music, to be able to hear music!” she said, jumping around. Callum joined her, listening to the songs in his head, playing them out loud and clear.
“This is Big Brother. Could all the housemates please gather on the sofa?”
“Another eviction?” Kush said, worry appearing on his face. “They wouldn’t do that, would they?”
Callum dropped down on the couch, Dotty just slipping next to him before Simon had the chance.
“No, the crowd noise has stopped,” Ruby said, wrinkling her nose at the idea.
“Housemates, before you entered the house, you reminded about the rules and regulations surrounding the fixtures and fittings. At 11.22 on Day Forty Two, Callum, Habiba and Dotty covered the microphone and camera in the toilet. As they broke a fundamental rule, as punishment all the housemates will lose access to the hair dryer and straighteners for the next three days.”
Callum was just about to comment on the mildness of the punishment when he noticed Ruby’s face start to redden. “Are you kidding me?” she said turning towards them. “What exactly were you doing that meant you had to cover up the camera and microphone?”
“If you’ll remember, Callum was chucking up his guts after one too many cocktails!” Dotty exclaimed. “We thought we’d give him a little bit of privacy. Anyone got a problem with that?”
Ruby opened her mouth to say something, but changed her mind, instead standing up and strutting over to the Diary Room. She was let in almost immediately.

It was less than twenty minutes later, when she returned, parading her way into the bedroom. It was curiosity that caused Callum to do it, to jump out of his seat and follow her in.
When he pushed the door open, he saw her open up her overnight bag, the one they had to pack for their eviction night. It was kept in the bedroom when all the cases went to the storeroom. “I’m sorry,” he said, as she zipped it back up again. “If you’re disappointed about the straighteners. The girls were just trying to look after me when I was sick.”
“Let’s not lie to each other, shall we Callum?” she said, flattening down her pristine white powersuit with her hands. “We both know what’s going on here, don’t we? I don’t know how or what exactly, but I know you know something. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m off. I’ve told Big Brother I’m leaving.”
“Over some straighteners?” he questioned, as she pulled the bag onto her shoulder.
Ruby gave a laugh. “I’ve done what I came to do,” she replied, moving towards the door. “There’s nothing more here for me now.”
Callum nodded. She was honest in her fraud. She was leaving on her own terms.
Ruby stopped, her hand lingering on the handle. She turned slightly to face him. “Remember who the real enemy is, Callum.”
“I do,” he confirmed. She gave him a conspiratorial nod, and pulled open the door.

Day Forty Six

“What are they?” Habiba squealed, as Kush put the box on the table.
“I think those envelope shaped things might just be envelopes, Habs,” Callum said with a laugh, trying to ignore the fact that Simon’s arm was around his neck like a noose.
Receiving a glare in return, she shuffled forward in her seat. “I can see that!” she exclaimed. “But what’s in them? They’ve got all our names on there!”
“It’s letters from home,” Kush said reading the card. “It’s from the people we love.”
Callum’s stomach dropped. He didn’t know if he wanted this. His days were hard enough as it was, if he had to hear from someone outside the bubble, it might break him.
“Right, this is yours Dotty,” Kush said, handing it to her. “Who do you want to read it?”
The young woman held the envelope as though she was scared it was going to reach up and bite her. Any colour she did have in her face had drained out. “You can do it, Callum,” she said, passing it over to him.
Carefully, he ripped open the paper and pulled the note out from inside. His eyes adjusted to the handwriting and then he started to read. “Dear Dotty, it has been amazing to watch you on tv every night, and we all think you’re doing so well. Keep it up, and we’ll see you when you get out. All the best, Jamie.”
Handing her the note, there was a silence that hovered over the house. They were all thinking the same thing, noticing the lack of affection included. “Who’s Jamie?” Kush asked, breaking the awkwardness.
“Just a mate from uni,” Dotty said, her head down as she started to crease the paper between her fingertips. “Haven’t seen her for a while actually.”
“Right, well Callum, shall we do yours next?” Habiba said, trying to draw attention away from Dotty’s obvious disappointment. “Who do you want to read it?”
“You,” he replied quickly, knowing that Simon would offer if he let him get a breath in.
Habiba wriggled in her seat with a smile and then opened up the envelope. Callum took a deep breath. “Bruv. Wow, what can I say apart from I’m so proud of you. I know we’ve got a lot to talk about when you get out, and I know you’ll have worried about what I think. I can’t say I understand everything, but that don’t matter. I love you and miss you, and can’t wait to go for a pint. We’ll have to go to that bar mum and dad met at on Valentine’s day in Eighty Seven, and have a good catch up. See you soon, Love Stuart.”
“That was a beautiful letter, Callum,” Simon commented, squeezing his shoulder.
It didn’t even bother him that time though. He didn’t care because he was right. It was a beautiful letter. Just the one he wanted.
Callum could barely concentrate as all the other letters were read, he just kept looking at the words of his own one again and again, just incase they suddenly disappeared.
When they were all finished, Dotty got up and went into the bedroom, not speaking to anyone on her way. Habiba looked towards him, and he gave her a nod in return. They both got up off the sofa and walked after her.
“I’m fine!” she said, sitting on her bed, when they both entered the room. “You don’t have to come and cuddle me! It’s just a stupid letter! So I don’t have any friends or family that want to associate themselves with me apart from some girl I barely talk to! Fucking Jamie, she probably only agreed to it so she could get her name on the telly, and so she could make out what a sad loser I am.”
“Well, we’re your friends, aren’t we, Callum?” Habiba said, trying to hold Dotty’s hand, but eventually giving up when it kept being swatted away. “And I think when we get out of here, we should all move in together!”
Dotty started choking. “What?!” she said. “Have you left the eyebrow tint on for too long again?”
“No!” Habiba exclaimed excitedly. “It makes perfect sense! I’ve wanted to move away from home for ages, you’ve got no one who wants to live with you and Winky has probably burnt most of Callum’s possessions and left the rest in a bag by the bins! It’s the obvious answer!”
“I’ve supposed to move in with both of you?” Dotty spluttered out. “Do you really think I want to put up with clumps of your hair in the bath, and having to listen to the Duracell bunnies at it in their bedroom for most of the day?”
Callum and Habiba both looked at each other and back to Dotty, nodding enthusiastically. “Fine!” she admitted. “I will regret it, but why not! You look happy at your letter, Callum. Was it good to hear from your brother?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it definitely was,” he replied. Stuart was right in the letter; Callum had been unsure of his reaction to everything that happened in the house. He had hidden everything from his brother for so long, he expected to be disowned and ignored. That would be his dad’s reaction, but he didn’t care. Stuart accepted him and that’s all that mattered. It also seems he’d had a visitor, and just the fact there wasn’t any blood stains on the paper made him feel happier than he had in the past few weeks. “Better than I could have even imagined.”

Callum had almost started to give up. He almost stopped making his four trips a day to the Diary Room when they appeared fruitless. That day though, seemed to be going too well for him not to at least try, and when he heard Big Brother’s voice as he sat down in the chair, he was almost too stunned to believe it.
“Turn the camera off,” he ordered the voice. “I know it’s you. Turn it off now.”
“It’s off.”
Callum laughed. “Is it?” he remarked bitterly. It didn’t matter really, he knew this wouldn’t get out. “I’ve heard that one before from you. You ain’t been around recently. Lost interest now he’s left.”
“It was nothing personal, Callum.”
It was. It was everything personal. “It was you. I recognised your voice. You’re the one that was there at the final audition. You taped me,” he spat out, all the anger from the past few weeks wanting to come out. “You had me admitting to everything. What was you gonna do? Play it in the house? Show it to the press? You had me admitting to fancying blokes, for having a crush on a mate in the army, for everything that happened to me when I was a kid. I told you everything cause you said it weren’t being filmed.”
“You were a right chatterbox. Why do you think you managed to get through to the house? I pushed for you.”
“Does anyone else you work with know about the video?” he asked. Callum wasn’t sure if it was just one lone person working against him, or if it was the whole show. Although in truth, the two couldn’t be separated.
“No.”
“But Ben knew about it, didn’t he?” Callum confessed. “You told him about it.”
“I was his handler. We got a bit drunk one night, I let it slip that one of the housemates was in the closet, we were going to give him a little push out of it and I had the evidence to do that.”
Callum shook his head. The thought of his life being thrown around like a game made bile rise in his throat. “He made a deal with you?”
“I’ve got to say, he was very persuasive; we fucked and he convinced me not to do it. I can’t say I understood why he was so bothered by it. He didn’t even know who the housemate was at that point.”
Callum understood though, he got Ben, he knew him in ways that not many people did. Ben would have done that for anyone. If he thought something was wrong then he’d speak up and try to make it better.
“You didn’t stick to it though?” Callum responded, knowing that the voice at the other end didn’t have the same level of empathy and compassion. “You kept on blackmailing him?”
“It was after he met you, when you both got into the house. He said we could release the information about his prison stint if we continued to keep your video quiet. He sussed it was you pretty quickly.”
“Of course he did. I checked out his arse when he walked in,” Callum said with a laugh, before straightening up his face. It was too personal to share with the voice. He didn’t get to be a part of that. A part of them. “He gave up that for me? When he knew his family was watching? When he knew what people would think of him after that? That weren’t enough for you though, was it? You kept going didn’t you?”
“We tried to get him thrown out, thought it would be good for ratings if the public had someone to hate.”
“You couldn’t though, could you?” Callum said, a smiling appearing. “He kept to the rules, mainly. Did enough to get himself punished, but not enough to be thrown out. So that little plan failed. What else? Try to get him to shag you again? I saw the look you gave him when we was in the loft.”
“You think he wouldn’t have? I still have the tape of you.”
“He weren’t stupid though. Ben knew what you were trying to do; he kept going to the diary room when you weren’t there, talking for as long as possible so there weren’t any need for you to call him. It would have looked suss to your bosses.”
“He was being ridiculous. Weren’t like I didn’t have a front row seat every morning he went to the shower all worked up over you.”
Callum screwed up his face. “That’s why you evicted him. Because you were jealous of me.”
“I didn’t evict him. The public did.”
“It was your idea though. To put the task up and let the public know that anyone that thieved it would be up for eviction. You told him to do it, didn’t you? He thought it would just mean getting a dodgy shopping budget, not that he’d be gone.”
“I was doing you a favour. You weren’t fooled by all that lovey dovey stuff were you? Guys like him don’t do that.”
Callum knew better. He knew. He understood what Ben did and why he did it. Now, after the letter, he could say that Ben knew what he was doing too.
“Why you admitting all this?” Callum asked. The Handler was being more forthcoming than he thought he would when he confronted him.
“What can you do Callum? He’s gone. Probably balls deep in the nearest piece he came across. You two can’t pass any of your little codes anymore. He said he had a recording of me and him, tried to use it against me. Maybe he has, maybe he hasn’t, but he knows that what I’ve got on you is a lot worse.”
Callum winced. He hated the thought of Ben with someone else. Maybe he could convince Whitney to use some of the fifty grand to buy a rabid rat that could nibble The Handler’s balls off.
“You can’t beat this, Callum. What possible outcome could you get? You say anything, then that little tape will get played live into the house. You kick off, then you’ll be thrown out, or out first in the final to huge heckling. You keep playing up to Simon, and Ben and all your little followers will lose any hope they had in you. Either way, you still pull in the ratings and the bosses still get happy.”
“I could win,” Callum said. “That don’t sound a bad outcome to me.”
“Don’t you get it? That’s what we’re going for! We’re pushing for you to win! You’ll be paraded out in front of the press and passed around from pillar to post with people asking you why you were snuggling up to Simon. It’s funny how the editing works sometimes. A shot here and there is really all you need.”
He didn’t know. He didn’t know that Callum knew the second wave of housemates hadn’t been real.
“Don’t you understand, Callum. We own you,” The Handler said. “You are the winner of the show, but you will still lose.”
“I could walk,” he suggested, the words he heard chilling through him. “Right now.”
“Then we’ll get a new narrative. One that will get the votes flooding in and the public’s head turned to something else. How about that little friend of yours, Habiba? We could release a few celebrity denials about all those stories she tells, make her look like a real loser. So go on, walk. If you dare.”
Callum laughed. “Ben tried to walk, didn’t he?” he replied. “He wanted to go, and you did the same thing. You kept threatening him with my tape. He was stuck.”
“We can be very kind Callum, or we can be very cruel. It’s your choice in the end.”

The Finale

The crowd noise stared to bleed into the background. It had started early tonight, or at least it seemed to. None of them were sure if it was because Big Brother were actually setting up early, taking longer to get the staging together because it was the final, or if they were doing it to unnerve the housemates.
It was probably to increase their anxiety, that was something they would definitely do. As if the fact that their palms were clammy and moist, and they had to keep fanning themselves to avoid sweat patches on their best outfits wasn’t enough. No one wanted to walk out the door looking like a damp otter.
Habiba came over and squeezed his hand. “Alright?” she said, swishing her hair back. “I think my make up may melt off if we don’t get started soon. I’m going to end up looking like a used candle.”
“I don’t think it’ll be long now,” he said, smiling back at her. “They’ve got to start early to get all the interviews done, ain’t they.”
“Hmm,” Habiba muttered, raising her eyebrows. “Big Brother like to play with us. You never know what they’re going to do! Anyway, your little love bug is in the bedroom calling for you!”
“Better go see what he wants then, haven’t I?” Callum replied, giving her arm a squeeze.
Callum walked into the bedroom, looking at the man before him and smiling. “You look nice,” he said running a hand down his arm. “All set for tonight?”
“As I’ll ever be!” he said, with a laugh back. “Nothing’s going to spoil our evening.”
Callum went over and gave him a hug. “I can’t wait to get out of here,” he whispered into Simon’s ear, and he’d never spoken truer words, it just wasn’t the man in front of him that needed to hear them. It was someone else he was holding as the happy thought in his mind. “I can’t wait to be alone and finally be together.”

The results were predictable, and really didn’t seem to matter now that they were all out of here that evening. Simon went first, a host of boos waving through the doors when he made his exit. Callum wished he could feel sorry for the man, but he had no sympathy.
The next eviction was much harder, waving goodbye to Dotty. Both he and Habiba clung to her much to her dismay. They would see each other soon, but it was still strange to see someone you had spent months with, suddenly walk out the door.
There was just the three of them now, sitting next to each other on the sofa; him, Habiba and Kush. They kept having to run to the toilet with the nerves, and Callum could feel his fingers trembling when he pulled his grey jacket around himself tighter. All of them were nervous, but at least the other two knew what was going to happen, no matter what the order was in the end. Ultimately though, for Callum, everything was unknown.
“Big Brother house, you are live, please do not swear. Callum, Dotty and Kush, the votes have been counted and verified and I can now confirm that the housemate in third place is…”
Callum took a few deep breaths. This is what he had been waiting for. It was now, or never.
“Habiba! Habiba, please say your goodbyes, I’m coming to get you!”
It seemed to go in slow motion at that point when Habiba kissed and hugged both of them, holding both their hands as they walked to the staircase. She let go and started bounding up the stairs, ready for when the doors were about to open.
It was the movement of the camera above that forced Callum’s gaze up, straight into the lens. He held his happy thought tight, and then spoke loudly and clearly.
“You have no power over me.”
They would have heard it. It couldn’t be missed, but before he had another second to think, he gave Kush a clap on the shoulder and started bounding up the stairs two at a time, as quick as his feet could manage.
Habiba has just stepped out the door, and someone had clearly seen what he was doing, as they began to close. It was a matter of milliseconds, but he made it, slipping through the small gap just before they shut.
“Bah!” Habiba screamed when she turned to see him standing next to him. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m gonna go get him, Habs,” he shouted to her over the noise. “I can’t be without him for another minute, not another second. He moved the stars for me, I have to shift them back for him.”
It was then that he noticed the crowd, hundreds of expectant eyes looking up at him staring. “I don’t suppose the stars can wait until the bottom of the stairs, can they?” Habiba asked, clinging on to his hand. “I don’t think I can do this by myself.”
“You can,” he said, squeezing tightly as they began to tackle the steps. “You can do anything you want by yourself, but I’m here if you ever need me.”
They walked hand in hand down the stairs, as the bubbly presenter with confusion in her eyes trotted over quickly to meet them. There was a microphone stuck into his face, and he seemed to sense she was asking him a question, but he wasn’t interested.
Looking around, Callum tried to spot him. He was here, he had to be here somewhere, the task becoming difficult with so many fuzzy faces. The crowds were screaming and jumping about, trying to catch his attention, but he wasn’t interested. It was just the one face he was hoping to see.
Then, he saw him.
“Ben!” he called up to the small staging area. There was a large section of crowd and a barrier between them, but that wasn’t going to stop him. “Ben!”
Ben’s eyes caught Callum’s, the smile spreading wide as he realised who was calling his name. Callum smiled, before heading over to the still dumbfounded presenter who had been eyeing them from the moment Callum had ran through the door with Habiba.
“May I?” He asked, motioning to the microphone gripped tightly in her right hand. Her gaze drifted from Callum to whoever was standing behind the cameras in the lower part of the stage.
“Er…” the words stuck in her throat, but Callum didn’t care, choosing instead to grab the microphone from her grasp, earning himself a sharp gasp from the crown.
“So, er, hi..” he stuttered out, suddenly shy and conscious of the thousands of eyes focused intensely on him. His eyes found the only pair that mattered.
Bens.
“Most of you are probably curious as to why the hell I’m out when I won, and I think everyone deserves an explanation. You’ve all watched it for the past few weeks so you guys probably have a closer guess than I do,” Callum laughed a little, hearing the small noise from the crowd as they recirpicated his laugh. “I went into this house an engaged man, a man hidden from the real world, a man who lied to himself for years that I was in love with a woman, and that I could be happy. But it was just that. Lies.”
Ben watched anxiously, conscious of the fact the people behind the cameras probably had strict instructions to stop whatever it was Callum planned to do. He was distracted from his thoughts though as he heard the man on the stage speak again.
“I didn’t expect anything to change whilst I was in there, but a lot did. I changed, my view on life changed. My view on love.” Callum’s eyes found Ben’s once more, a toothy smile spreading across his face as he spoke. “I realised I was lying to myself, to everyone really. Whitney to you, I am sorry I broke your heart the way I did. I never meant for that to happen. I found friends, my wonderful Habs,” Callum turned slightly to look behind him, finding an almost crying Habiba, taking her hand in his own and both offering a small squeeze to each other.
“You’ve got this,” she whispered beside him.
Turning back to the crowd, he knew he had to wrap his speech up. “I realised a lot of things whilst being with Ben, that Big Brother tried to control my life from the minute I interviewed. You see in my interview I told them I liked men, that I wasn’t happy, but that I’d keep pretending for as long as I had to. So they sent in Ben to shake things up a bit, bribed him, held things against him that nobody should have the power to do. I realised that nobody has power over me, nobody but me. I own the power. I made friends, family and more importantly,” Callum looked directly at Ben.
“I fell in love, with Ben Mitchell.”
Silence rung out, shock radiating from one soul to another. Nobody made a sound. Nobody moved a muscle.
Nobody except Ben who slowly walked to the barriers, eyes turning to stare as he walked. Once he reached them he jumped over easily, as Callum released Habiba’s hand to climb down and shorten the distance. Before long they were in front of each other. “Hi,” Ben whispered.
“Hi.”
“That was quite the speech you gave Mr Highway,” there was a sparkle in his eye as he smiled up.
“I meant it. I love you, and I don’t care who knows it,” Callum’s arm circled Ben’s waist, pulling him flush against him, his other hand resting gently on his cheek, thumb rubbing his chin.
“I love you, too.” Ben responded.
Callum leaned slowly, not having far to go as Ben leaned at the same time and before long their lips connected. Ben sighed into the kiss, pushing his lips harder against Callum’s who smiled gently. They became so engrossed in one another the noise of the crowd cheering was white noise to their ears, a distant sound as their kiss deepened.
Pulling away for a breather their fingers linked and they looked up, Habiba crying and blowing kisses in their direction. They laughed at their friend. “Wanna get outta here?” Ben asked. “I’ve got a hotel booked.”
Callum looked down before jumping the barrier and pulling Ben through the crowd, sliding into one of the cars waiting beside the crowd, ready to take people home. Ben gave the address and before long they were off, driving into the night, leaving the people behind them.

Callum settled down on the bed, as Ben ordered them something to eat before crawling in bedside him.
“So, how do you feel? Ben asked, curiosity bubbling inside him as he watched Callum pick at a loose piece of skin on his nail.
“I’m not sure. I feel free, but I’m scared. I don’t know whats gonna happen now, will they really let me be free?” Callum looked down, the skin on his hand turning red as he rubbed more vigorously.
“Hey,” Ben said softly, placing his hand above Callum’s. “You’re free, they can’t hurt you anymore, they have nothing on you and from what I hear, Steve is suing them for mental negligence or something like that. They won’t have a leg to stand on when it all comes out, and your little speech helped fight his case.”
Callum faced Ben, looking at him directly. “Do you think that we will be alright? We can really make this work?” Ben could hear the insecurities within Callum’s quiet words.
“We will be alright, trust me. Trust us. Trust this.” Ben says, squeezing their entwined hands with his own. “How about we eat, and then get some sleep yeah? We will be alright Cal, I cant wait to spend forever with you, but, there is someone you need to meet first.”
The sentence catches Callum’s full attention as he looks up, Ben fidgeting nervously. “Ben?”
“My daughter, Lexi. She’s 9. I want you to meet her,” Ben blurts rather quicky and Callum feels his heart swell. Ben wants him to meet his daughter, he wants to share a part of his life he never has.
“I’d love to.” He smiles at Ben and they settle into a comfortable silence, eating happily within each other’s company and before long they are a tangled mess of sheets and legs, getting lost within each other as they explore, love and give themselves to one another.
They won. Big Brother tried to have the upper hand, but in the end they won.

3 YEARS LATER
Callum stood in front of the full-length mirror, his fingers fumbling with the burgundy tie he was trying to place round his neck, shaky fingers preventing. Today he was marrying Ben Mitchell. Something he never thought would happen. He smiled, fond memories of their engagement circling his mind.

“Ben, this is ridiculous, where on earth are we going?” Callum asked, the blindfold heavy across his eyes as Ben guided him up what felt like Mount Everest.
“Okay,” Ben spoke, sounding resolute. “You can take the blindfold off.
“Wow,” is all Callum managed to breath out, his lungs forgetting to breathe air into themselves as he looked at his surroundings. They were on a hill. The same hill they had visited for the past two years of their relationship. Snow rested on the ground, untouched by a single soul, a perfect sheet. The trees surrounded them, branches white but there was a slight difference. Lights hung from them, warm and twinkling against the backdrop of London at Christmas below, they laced around branches with a slight sway from the gentle breeze. Callum had never seen it more beautiful than what it was now and looking at Ben he realised just how much he loved the man in front of him. Smiling widely he grabbed Ben’s hands. “You did all this for me? But why? It’s Christmas eve, this must have took you hours.”
Ben shook his head, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he looked around at the space. “Habiba helped, so did Dotty actually.” Ben let out a soft chuckle. They had grown close to the girls, both of them sharing an apartment.
Ben clears his throat, taking a deep breath before looking directly at Callum, his eyes glistening from the fairy lights, and to Callum he looked like an angel. “Cal, you know ever since you walked into that house I was drawn to you, god you were so captivating, and your arse.” The sentence earned a laugh from Callum.
“I didn’t know what to expect when I went in, but it certainly wasn’t you, and I most definitely didn’t expect to fall in love with you. You were there when I needed someone, always calming me down after the wanker behind the camera had pissed me off. Always making me unbelievably fucking horny and needing to be close to you. You were the light at the end of a tunnel I couldn’t see and I love you beyond words.”
Callum took a sharp breath as he watched Ben fumble with his pocket on the red checked jacket adorning his shoulders and somehow he forgot to breath as Ben dropped to one knee in front of him.
“I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, with Lexi, waking up to her jumping us awake because she wants one of your smoothies with those amazing pancakes you make. You running me baths at midnight because I’m ‘too tense and need to relax.’ I want it all. With you.” Ben took a deep breath. “Will you marry me?”
Callum stared, completely dumbfounded. He hadn’t expected that at all, he never expected it to be Ben who was proposing to him. He thought back to all the times they had laughed, shown love and shared the blissfulness of being in each other’s company.
“Cal? My knees getting a bit wet and cold here,” Ben said, nerves of Callum saying no settling inside.
“Callum laughed as he looked down and realised that Ben was kneeling in the snow and was probably freezing.
“Yes,” he breathed out.
Ben gaped at him, unsure whether he had heard him correctly. “Yeah?”
“Yes, Ben, I’ll marry you,” he laughed, picking Ben up from the ground and pressing a firm but passionate kiss against his lips.
Ben slid the ring onto his finger, the silver band gleaming under the lights, and Callum studied the ring, noting there was something grey inside. “What’s that?” he asked.
“It’s Missy’s ashes. I’m sorry if that’s weird, when we got out I was sent a box and her ashes were inside. I didn’t wanna just leave them sitting there on the mantlepiece. It was a silly idea.”
“Ben. Shut up will you? I love it, and I know how much you loved Missy. At least we know the others are living their best lives on the farm near us so we can visit. The ring is beautiful. Do you have one?”
“Er, yeah,” he replied pulling out an identical ring to the one resting on Callum’s finger. “I know when someone proposes you normally only give the ring to the person being proposed to, but the jeweller said there was enough for two rings to be made and I just thought why not?” There was a slight blush creeping across Ben’s cheeks, and it wasn’t from the cold.
“I love it.” Callum took the ring from Ben, before sliding it onto Ben’s finger. He felt a cold wetness hit his cheek in that moment and looked up to see snowflakes fluttering around them, the white specks settling atop his blue bobbled beanie.
“It has been a while since we’ve had a white Christmas hasn’t it?” Ben said, pulling Callum close, their lips sealing against each other’s as the snow falls heavily round them. “I could stay like this forever, just you and me.”
“Callum sighs happily, wrapping his arms around Ben as they watched fireworks being set off not too far into the distance. Callum knew they weren’t for him or Ben, but he didn’t care. In that moment, holding the man he loved, who he was going to marry, in his arms, he pretended just for a moment the orange and red illumination in the sky were to celebrate their love and commitment.
---------------------------------------------------

"Callum!! I can’t find my tiara!” Lexi’s exclamation from across the room broke Callum from his memories. He looked over at her, the burgundy dress she wore flowing behind her. Her blond locks had been tamed beautifully in soft curls by her mum. Callum smiled at his soon to be stepdaughter as she panicked.
“It’s here Lex, calm down,” Callum laughed as she reached him. Placing the small tiara on top of her curls. “There. Beautiful.” He leans down to gently kiss the tip of her nose; it scrunches beneath his lips.
“You look so handsome Callum; my daddy is incredibly lucky. Thank you for loving us.” Callum melts as she wraps her little arms around him, holding him tightly.
“I think I’m the lucky one.”
The sound of Ben’s voice drifting through the hotel room immediately caught the attention of both people in the room, their gazes diverting to the door as Ben walked through. “Where are my daughter and fiancé? I’m getting impatient.”
Callum couldn’t help his eyes on their journey as they travelled head to toe up and down Ben, the burgundy suit with light blue the fitting him perfectly. His hair wasn’t styled yet and Callum quickly realised that it was his favourite look on Ben. “What are you doing here, babe?”
“I came to get my groom and flowergirl of course, you guys have been in here an hour, Habs is gonna lose her marbles if we don’t get out there and get married soon.” Ben laughs softly, although from the slight look of panic on his face, Callum knew he wasn’t joking. Habiba had planned nearly everything about today, and it wasn’t a surprise she wanted it all to go perfectly.
“We are just coming, shall we?” Callum extended a hand to Lexi who took it tightly, her small hand slipping into Callum’s with ease, her other gripping tightly onto her dads.
Looking at each other they both have smiles that could go wider than the Thames. “Let’s go get married.”

It felt strange to Callum, being a Mitchell. Everybody asking him for advice on how to tell someone they were gay. He had become an upstanding member of the LGBTQ+ community, allowing a voice to all those who are like he once was. Scared. He didn’t really know what he was doing, but he knew having everyone by his side he could weather any storm.
It was Christmas eve, and they had been married for two years now, today being their anniversary. Ben had insisted on a Christmas wedding, having been blown away by how perfect the proposal had been – not that he was blowing his own trumpet. Standing in front of the warm fire of their home, flames licking at the air as they did a dance with each other to see who could get higher, stockings were hung and Lexi was sleeping, along with her brother. Callum and Ben had decided it was the perfect time to have a child, finding a surrogate they were blessed with a healthy baby boy, who they decided to name Jacob.
“Pucker up, baby,” Ben whispered, hanging mistletoe above Callum’s head- well attempting to. His height made it difficult.
Callum laughed, taking the flower from Ben and dangling it above their heads, Ben huffing in fake annoyance. Leaning down he paused before their lips touched.
“You moved the stars for me.” Callum whispered.
Ben licked his lips. He could feel Callum’s hot breath on his skin, and it warmed it everywhere. “Yeah, well you realigned them for me Mr Mitchell.” He lost patience and closed the gap between them, electrical currents running through them as they kissed softly.
“I don’t think I’ll ever tire of being your husband. Of being a Mitchell, having your love.” He sighed happily against Ben’s lips, warmth running through him.
“You never will, you have me for life,” he replies wholeheartedly. “We should get some sleep though, Kat and Kush are coming early tomorrow with their brood, so is Habs and Dotty.”
“Oh that reminds me, Steve and his wife will be over for an hour or two, they’ve got presents for the kids.”
Looking at each other they couldn’t imagine being any happier than they were now, hearts full of love, a home filled with family and friends who felt more like family. Their world was full and the stars shone bright upon them, in all their sparkling glory.
“Merry Christmas, Cal, I love you.”
“Merry Christmas Ben, I love you too.”
As they headed off to bed, all was quiet in the house, nothing stirred. Not even a mouse. Stars had come to earth for Christmas, and that was what love was all about.