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Operation: I Love You, Dude, But You Really Messed This One Up So Now We Have To Fix It

Summary:

Claudia enlists Steve's help with fixing a certain situation.

Notes:

Written for Katherine 737 for the B&W Holiday Gift Exchange! Happy Holidays!

Takes place at some point after Season 5.

Work Text:

“I am incredibly disappointed in you, young man.”

Steve looked up from the newspaper, then around, as though there might be some other ‘young man’ in the vicinity.

“Huh? What did I do?” he asked, turning back towards Claudia, who remained standing in the doorway, hands on her hips.

“Pete and Myka?” she demanded. “Really?”

He could only stare back at her in confusion, but when no more information appeared to be forthcoming, he asked, “Uh, what about them?”

Dude.” Claudia cocked her hip to one side, her expression of disappointment deepening. “I shouldn’t have to explain this to you.”

With a laugh, Steve placed the newspaper down and raised his hands in surrender. “You’re going to have to help me out with this one, Claud. I really have no idea wh-”

Apparently unable to wait any longer, Claudia blurted out, “You made Myka and Pete think they’re in love with each other which is just the stupidest thing in the history of stupid things!”

Steve frowned. “Claudia… I didn’t make them think anything. They love each other.”

Claudia moved into the room and leaned against the edge of the table in front of him, saying, “Well duh, they love each other. I love them too. Like I love you and Artie. But there’s like a serious difference between loving someone and being in love with them.”

She punctuated her statement by raising her hand and flicking her middle finger against his forehead.

“Ow,” Steve complained with a scowl towards Claudia. “Look, Pete told me that he was in love with Myka – yes, in love – and he wasn’t lying. That’s a fact, Claudia.”

“Oh, Jinksy.” She sighed, plopping down into another chair at the table, and steepled her fingers together. “Let me tell you a little something about how the human mind works. See, if someone believes something to be true, then they can’t be lying, per se, when they say it. So sure, Pete thinks that he’s in love with Myka.”

She looked at him expectantly.

“But he’s not?”

He couldn’t quite keep the skepticism out of his voice, but Claudia smiled. “Yes, my young padawan! You’re finally catching on, Jinksy boy.”

“I don’t know, Claud…” he replied, leaning back in his chair. “I mean, who are you to decide that you know better than Pete about what he feels. And what about Myka?”

Claudia scoffed. “Oh don’t get me started on Myka. Seriously, I mean, I kind of get it with Pete, but Myka? I don’t know what in the world that woman is thinking. I know H.G. is still trying to pretend that she’s, like, normal or something, but come on.”

“Wait,” interrupted Steve, “what does H.G. have to do with this?”

Claudia gaped at him, making a few incredulous gestures into the air. He’d apparently rendered Claudia speechless, which was really quite a feat, if he did say so himself.

Dude,” she finally managed. “Okay, this is going to be more difficult than I thought, but like it or not, you’ve been recruited.”

Steve sighed, rubbing his hand over the back of his head. But, only too used to being at least five steps behind Claudia at any given time, he couldn’t help but smile in amusement as he asked, “Recruited to what, Claudia?”

She leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table, and looked at him seriously.

“To ‘Operation: I love you, dude, but you really messed this one up so now we have to fix it.’”

***

Phase 1: Break up Pete and Myka

“Claudia…” Steve stood in the doorway to Claudia’s bedroom, his hands stuffed into his back pockets, and his shoulders tight with tension. “I really don’t feel comfortable with all-”

Before he could finish his sentence, there was the sound of the B&B’s front door closing firmly – not quite a slam, but fairly close – and hushed, tense voices drifted up the stairs.

Claudia immediately perked up; she hadn’t been paying any attention to Steve, choosing instead to focus on something on her laptop screen. But at the sound of the door, she turned to angle her right ear towards the door and raised a finger to her lips.

“Are they back from their date?” she whispered.

Steve leaned out into the hallway, listening, but without waiting for an answer, Claudia got up from her desk and slipped by him.

“Claudia!” Steve hissed in her direction, but she just barely paused at the top of the stairs before silently inching her way down.

Steve remained standing where he was, hesitant, but then rolled his eyes at himself. He had to admit that he was curious too, and with a sigh, he followed behind Claudia.

Pete and Myka had gone into the solarium, but hadn’t managed to fully close the door; Steve could hear the vague sounds of two voices as he peeked his head around the entrance to the living room. Claudia stood around the corner from the door, her back straight up against the bookshelf – out of sight, but within hearing range. She stood, wide-eyed, and gestured with her head for him to come join her.

After a bit more hesitation, he gave in and snuck over to her side.

“You are a bad influence on me,” he mouthed silently, to which Claudia just grinned proudly.

Steve turned his attention to the voices coming from the adjacent room.

“Look, Myka, I’m just saying. If you didn’t want to go out with me, then you really didn’t have to.”

“I did want to,” Myka insisted. “Really, Pete, I’m not just saying that. I really thought… And hey, you’ve certainly got a big enough ego already, it’s not like I was just humoring you.”

Steve could practically hear the sound of Pete puffing out his chest. Then – “So you did want to. Past tense?”

The ensuing pause was just a bit too long before Myka replied, “No. No, present tense. I do want to.”

“Then what happened?” The frustration and confusion in Pete’s voice was audible. “I mean, I thought things were going well. I’ve been having fun going out with you…”

“I have too! Pete, you’re great, and you’ve been a perfect gentleman, which is more than I expected, to be honest. Things have been going really well.”

“Mykes,” Pete said with a small laugh, “I don’t know what kind of dates you’ve been on before, but I went to kiss you, and you slapped me.”

Steve cringed, but Claudia had to bring her hand up to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing out loud. A small sound escaped, and Steve elbowed her, his finger in front of his lips. It was bad enough they were eavesdropping like this, but getting caught would be absolutely mortifying.

“I know, I know, and I’m really so sorry!” Myka was saying. “I just, I don’t know. It was just instinct!”

Pete replied, “That’s...not exactly comforting, you know.” He chuckled again. “Look, maybe we should just take a step back for now. My ego will be just fine no matter what, okay? But I gotta admit, this one hurt a bit – both figuratively and literally, thank you very much – so I at least need some time to go lick my wounds a little.”

“Pete…” Myka began, but Pete interrupted her.

“No, I mean it. I know you, and I can already see you getting ready to jump into this all gung ho, because you feel bad, but that’s not what I want. So let’s both just chillax a bit. Think some thoughts. And we’ll see what happens.”

Myka’s voice came out muffled, and Steve imagined that they were hugging now, as Myka said, “I really love you, you know?”

“Pssh,” Pete scoffed. “Obviously. How could you not love the Pete-ster? Now, after my immense suffering, I think I at least deserve a kiss on the cheek you slapped. What do you say?”

Myka laughed and, presumably, complied.

Relieved that the tone of the conversation had turned lighter, Steve caught Claudia’s eye, and the two of them quietly took their leave.

***

Phase 1: Break up Pete and Myka

Phase 1: Make sure Pete and Myka stay friends

He’d been told that he needed to go have a “bro talk” with Pete.

Divide-and-conquer was the idea for this stage of things, as they tried to make sure that things weren’t going to get all weird in the aftermath of “slap-gate.” Claudia had already talked with Myka, and Steve didn’t know any details, but Claudia basically just told him that girl talk had gone well, so now it was his turn.

Steve honestly wasn’t too sure about his “bro talk” skills, but he at least knew not to show up empty-handed.

“Cookies!”

Pete’s back was to Steve when he first entered the office, but apparently the scent from the plate in his hands preceded him.

“Hey, Pete,” he greeted, as he walked further into the room. He placed the plate of cookies down in front of Pete, who eagerly grabbed one and stuffed it into his mouth. “I figured you could use a break from your paperwork. Claudia helped me make these.”

Pete sat back in his chair, releasing a sigh of contentment. “Oh, dude,” he mumbled, before swallowing, “you really know the way to a guy’s heart. This is exactly what I needed right now, I was about to die of boredom.”

Steve pulled up a chair and sat down at the desk, adjacent to Pete. “So,” he began with a smile, “how’s it going?”

“Now that I have cookies, I can’t really complain,” Pete exclaimed. “Well, I mean, I’m stuck in the Warehouse doing paperwork, so I could always complain, but you know what I mean. Cookies, man.” He reached to grab another. “The answer to every problem.”

“Except obesity,” Steve couldn’t help but point out.

“Ha!” Pete grinned and pointed a finger towards Steve. “Very good point, my man.”

They were getting off topic. Not that they’d ever really gotten on-topic to begin with, Steve had to admit to himself.

Deciding to just go ahead and jump in, Steve said, “Well, I was actually thinking more along the lines of…” He paused, thinking about how to approach this. “We’re all a tight group, you know? And I’ve kind of heard a few things, and I just was wondering if you wanted someone to talk to, you know, about things with Myka.”

Pete grimaced. “Ah. Things with Myka.” He took another cookie, actually taking smaller bites this time, instead of practically inhaling the whole thing. “Things with Myka are… okay.”

Steve nodded, and a somewhat awkward silence descended. “I just. I worry that I pushed you into this, and I know you two are so great together, and I don’t want to have messed anything up between you.”

“No, no, Jinksy, seriously.” Pete was shaking his head emphatically. “No matter what, me and Mykes? Thick as thieves, to the end. Nothing could mess us up, no matter how many bad dates we go on. To be perfectly honest with you…” Pete paused, thoughtful. “I think that – and this is before anything you said, so I’m not blaming you one bit, I mean it. But so many people were telling me that I was in love with Myka that I just got mixed up, and I started to believe what they were saying. You know? So it’s like I looked at what I felt for her – these real, deep feelings – and I just labelled it wrong.

“I think some part of me always would have wondered,” Pete continued. “So I’m glad we tried this. Got it out of our system, or whatever. But I know now; the two of us don’t work like that. We were perfect already, just the way we were, and I’m totally cool with it.”

Pete laughed, then, shaking his head. “Man, I guess I did want to talk about it. Has Abigail been giving you shrink tips? Or is it just your inner Buddha-ness that has me spilling my heart on the floor?”

Steve smiled. “I just thought that maybe you’d appreciate someone lending an ear.” Pete reached for yet another cookie, and Steve couldn’t help himself. “Plus, I drugged the cookies,” he said, his voice matter-of-fact, just as Pete took a big bite.

Pete froze for a moment, then opened his mouth and let a few partially chewed-up morsels fall to the desk.

“Kidding, Pete!” Steve laughed. “I’m totally kidding, and that was pretty gross.”

Pete shrugged, and happily picked the pieces back up and returned them to his mouth, causing Steve to just laugh harder.

***

Phase 2: Figure out what H.G.’s deal is

This stage of “The Plan” was entirely within Claudia’s domain. So Steve’s role – as instructed by Claudia – was basically to keep her company while she did whatever it was that she’d been doing on her computer as she worked to locate H.G.

Steve pointed out, logically, he’d thought, that they could probably just ask Myka; the two women had seemed to remain in at-least-occasional touch, as far as he could tell. Claudia, however, had quickly shot down that idea. Something about how it would tip Myka off that they were up to something.

The Regents certainly knew how to get in contact with her, like they’d done when they needed her help to save Artie. But Steve didn’t bother mentioning that. He was pretty sure that Claudia just took it as a matter of pride that she could track anyone down, and she wasn’t going to let someone born in the 19th century beat her.

Pete and Myka were off on an artifact retrieval, and Artie was too busy with various things to bother them, so while Steve was in charge of research and support for the mission, Claudia could spend most of her time working on the issue.

The issue, as far as Steve understood, was that H.G. appeared to have virtually no digital footprint. They knew for a fact that, this far into her jump to the 21st century, H.G. wasn’t avoiding computers by any means. Claudia was pretty sure that H.G. had actually invented some kind of digital cloaking system, and the hacker seemed alternately frustrated and fascinated.

Steve was starting to doze off in his chair, when Claudia called out, “Gotcha! Take that! You thought you could fool me, but oh, that’s right, you’re 148 years old, and it shows!”

“Success, I take it?” Steve asked with a yawn.

“The most successful success!” Claudia confirmed, twirling around in her chair and raising her hand for a high five. “Ms. Helena G. Wells, alias Emily Lake, currently resides in Seattle, Washington, and yours truly has just made contact with her. Booyah!”

***

So, it turned out that H.G. was actually quite happy that Claudia was able to break through her cloaking system, because it meant that the two of them could then talk about it and figure out how to improve it.

Also, it meant that H.G. could just happen to take the opportunity to ask about what seemed to be her favorite topic, namely, one Myka Ophelia Bering.

Phase 2 was officially deemed a success.

***

Phase 3: Gay bonding!

“Gay bonding?” Steve looked back down to the text message he’d just received, which stated Claudia’s name for the newest phase and summoned him to her room. “Claudia, what does that even mean?”

“Just, you know…” Claudia gestured vaguely in the air. “We want to make sure that Myka knows that she can feel totally comfortable with us if she happens to embrace a lady-loving lifestyle. Her very own ‘If You Were Gay’ moment, like in Avenue Q.”

“You do realize that Myka’s not actually gay, right?” Steve asked. Thinking, he added, “And I’m not going to sing that song to her.”

“She’s gay for H.G.!” Claudia exclaimed.

Steve simply looked at her.

“Plus,” Claudia continued after a moment, “Gay-slash-bi bonding just doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. So, gay bonding?”

Steve sighed. “If anyone has to sing that song to her, I’m making you do it,” he said.

***

Myka had never heard of the movie, Imagine Me & You, she said, and she didn’t make any comment when she read the blurb on the back of the DVD case.

Steve had to admit that he hadn’t really known any lesbian movies either, but he’d done his research. He told everyone that this one had been recommended to him by a friend of his.

As the movie went on, Steve actually felt better and better about his choice. Seriously – a woman gets together with her best friend, a guy, but then unexpectedly falls head over heels for another woman, seemingly for the first time, but that isn’t exactly specified. It certainly wasn’t a perfect match, especially in terms of the timing of things, but still. Plus, British people were certainly relevant to the case at hand.

Of course, leave it to Pete to call out, “Ooh, they’re totally lesbians, aren’t they?” right near the very beginning of the movie, but Myka just elbowed him in the side and shushed him.

Once the movie ended, Myka didn’t offer too much of a reaction. Steve had gotten caught up in the story while watching and forgot to pay attention to Myka during the movie itself, and he suspected the same of Claudia.

“That was sweet,” Myka said with a soft smile, before she got into some discussion with Pete.

On the positive side (or negative side, the longer it went on), “You’re a wanker, number 9!” became everyone’s favorite phrase for a while. It got on Artie’s nerves pretty quickly, which everyone secretly enjoyed at least a little bit.

***

Steve and Myka sat quietly in Artie’s office, each immersed in doing paperwork. Claudia entered the office from the Warehouse floor, humming an absentminded tune.

He wasn’t really paying much attention to Claudia, so it took Steve a minute to realize that the tune maybe wasn’t so absentminded after all. Once he figured out what Claudia was doing, he tried to keep a straight face, but Myka showed no signs of recognition for the song whatsoever, and Steve just couldn’t help it – he burst out laughing, causing Myka to look up and stare at him in utter confusion and Claudia to hit him over the back of the head.

Because yes, Claudia was very clearly humming the song, “If You Were Gay.” And of course, Steve had the lyrics stuck in his head for the rest of the day.

If you were gay

That’d be okay

I mean ‘cause, hey,

I’d like you anyway.

Because you see,

If it were me,

I would feel free to say

That I was gay

(But I’m not gay.)

***

Some new movie had just come out that both Pete and Claudia really wanted to see, but as luck would have it, Steve had an alternate plan in mind to offer Myka.

He and Jeremy had only gone on a few dates so far, he explained to Myka, so he hadn’t wanted to make a big deal out of anything. Not yet, at least. But Jeremy was the drummer in a pretty good jazz quartet, and they had a gig just outside Rapid City that night. Jeremy had invited Steve, who in turn invited Myka. Even beyond any of Claudia’s machinations, Steve thought that Myka would enjoy the show, and he knew that he’d appreciate the company.

So after an early dinner, the two of them left the B&B to make the drive out to Rapid City. It was a bit of a distance, but not too bad, and Steve didn’t mind driving.

The show was very good, and Myka was the perfect person to have along; she was happy to just sit and listen to the band for stretches, tapping her hand against their table along with the beat, but they also spent quite a bit of time chatting, with the music flowing in the background.

Myka even got in a good bit of teasing when Steve blushed after Jeremy caught him staring at one point and winked.

That led to a conversation between them about relationships, but Myka seemed to studiously avoid talking about either her brief thing with Pete or about H.G., Steve noticed.

She only slipped up once.

They’d been talking about Liam; about how, from the very beginning of their relationship, Steve had been swept right off his feet.

Myka smirked. “I think I have you beat with that one,” she said. “I’ve been literally swept off my feet, back when Hel-”

Abruptly breaking off her sentence, Myka frowned. They’d specifically been talking about romantic relationships, which was something that Myka was just now remembering, if Steve had to guess.

There was a long pause. Steve turned to face the stage, not even looking at Myka, and said, “You know, the first time I fell for a guy, it was absolutely terrifying. Not even because I saw anything at all wrong with being gay, but just… It wasn’t how I’d seen myself, it wasn’t who I thought I was. I was pretty young, but old enough that I already had what I’d thought was a really good sense of who I was. But then I felt like I suddenly had to completely reinterpret everything about myself. Plus, if I hadn’t even seen myself that way, I couldn’t imagine what anyone else would think.

“It took me a while to realize that I was still the same person I had been before. The fact that I was now a guy who happened to have a thing for another guy… It was just one new thing about me. And as for everyone else, well, it turned out that most of them seemed to know even before I did.”

He looked down, somewhat embarrassed, and glanced at Myka out of the corner of his eye. She was looking at him, her eyes wide, but with a soft, thoughtful, look on her face and the barest hint of a smile gracing her lips. It was hard to tell in the dim lighting of the jazz club, but it seemed like she might be blushing.

“Sorry,” he said, “I don’t know why I went off like that.”

“No, don’t be sorry,” Myka insisted. She placed her hand on top of his, which lay flat on their table, and squeezed. “Thank you for sharing that, I mean it.”

With a nod, Steve then offered to go get them each another beer, and once he returned with their drinks, the conversation simply moved on.

Even so, Steve felt fairly awkward about his little speech. But that small smile didn’t leave Myka’s face for the rest of the evening, the jazz music was great, he got to kiss Jeremy at the end of the night, and he figured that ‘gay-slash-bi bonding’ could now officially get crossed off Claudia’s list. So really, he couldn’t complain.

***

Phase 4: Somehow get Myka and H.G. together…

Phase 4 didn’t really begin until quite a while after Phase 3 ended. When it came down to it, neither Steve nor Claudia was quite sure how to actually go about getting Myka and H.G. in the same time zone, let alone in a relationship.

A possible starting point landed right in their lap, however, when Artie received a ping from Seattle in early December.

Pete and Myka were already out on a separate artifact retrieval in Idaho, so this one would be Steve and Claudia’s responsibility.

Or, as Claudia put it: “Second A-Team, activate!”

Luckily, it didn’t take too much work to track down the artifact. A Starbucks mug was causing anyone who came in contact with it to become over-caffeinated to the point where they were having serious problems associated with heart rate, blood pressure, and dehydration.

So, Steve and Claudia found themselves with plenty of extra time before their flight back to South Dakota. Claudia contacted H.G., explaining that they happened to be in the neighborhood, and they agreed to meet up; they’d first thought about getting together for coffee, but after this latest artifact… They decided to go out for lunch instead.

Steve still didn’t quite know H.G. all that well, but regardless, it was nice to see her. Claudia, of course, was ecstatic, and the feeling was clearly mutual. For a lot of the conversation, Steve simply sat back and listened, not understanding most of the techno-babble the two of them were spewing. He was content to just relax and eat his lunch, and seeing Claudia so happy always made him happy as well.

They were almost done with the meal when Claudia brought up their secondary motive for seeing H.G.

“Hey, I just remembered – we’re having a holiday party back at the Warehouse in a few days, before people start leaving to go spend some time with their families. You should totally take a little vacation and come back with us!” Her tone was casual and nonchalant, as if she’d only just had this spontaneous idea.

H.G.’s smile was small and uncomfortable. “Oh, that’s very kind of you, Claudia, but-”

Steve interrupted, “Great idea, Claud! Our ping rate has actually been pretty low for the last few months, so I’m sure Artie has money in the budget to spring for an extra ticket.”

“Well, money isn’t really the issue…”

“Plus,” Claudia went on, ignoring H.G., “I know Myka in particular will be seriously jealous of us if she finds out that we got to see you and she didn’t.”

“I don’t-”

“Do you have any obligations here for the next week? Any plans with Giselle?” Steve asked H.G.

“Well no, we’re not together anymore, but-”

Claudia jumped in. “So all the more reason for you to come with us, then! Especially when you’re not dating someone, the best thing to do is to surround yourself with good friends. It’s easy to get lonely this time of year. I’m actually kind of worried that Myka might be thinking about giving things another go with Pete.”

H.G. had no retort to that one. Her eyes narrowed in displeasure at Claudia’s last words.

Yep, Claudia was good.

***

They’d debated about whether or not to warn Myka that H.G. would be at the B&B when she and Pete got back from Idaho, but in the end, they decided not to.

The three of them, along with Abigail, were watching TV in the living room when they heard the front door open, followed by the loud thump of Pete dropping their bags to the floor.

H.G. stood up, toying anxiously with the ring on her right hand, as Pete and Myka walked into the room. Myka saw her first, stopping in her tracks and staring, even as Pete kept walking forward and talking. He stopped too after a few steps, looking in confusion first at Myka, and then to the person in Myka’s line of sight. His eyes widened.

“Helena,” Myka said. Steve couldn’t quite read her expression. “Are you… What are you...?”

“Yes,” H.G. said, although Steve wasn’t sure what she was agreeing to. “Well, I…” She trailed off, glancing helplessly towards Claudia.

“Surprise!” Claudia called out after a beat, raising her arms into the air. “Look who we found in Seattle and convinced to come join us for the Chrismukkah party!”

“Oh,” Myka said simply. She did smile, then, at least; a real, if somewhat hesitant, smile.

H.G. smiled back, bright and relieved.

The two of them just stared at each other, sharing some wordless communication.

Steve cleared his throat. “Pete, hey, can I help you with you guys’ bags?”

That seemed to break the spell, as Myka looked down to the floor, reaching to rub the back of her neck; Claudia jumped up and turned off the TV, squeezing H.G.’s hand and then talking to Abigail and essentially ushering her out of the room; and Steve and Pete walked back out to the front hallway. H.G. simply watched the sudden bustle in amusement.

Once everyone other than H.G. and Myka were out of the living room, they all conspicuously acted as if they weren’t trying to eavesdrop. There was only a vague mumble of voices at first. Pete had gone to put his bag in his room but then suddenly showed up again right next to Steve.

“Are they making out?” he whispered.

Steve held back a laugh and rolled his eyes. “No,” he answered.

He did manage to hear, though, as Myka suggested, “Do you want to go upstairs to talk for a bit?”

H.G. must have agreed, because then the two of them emerged and headed for the stairs, while everyone else tried to look busy. Myka and H.G. didn’t pay them any attention. Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw that the two women were walking quite close to each other, their shoulders just barely brushing.

Once they heard the soft click of Myka’s door, those who remained downstairs all just sort of looked at each other. Abigail was clearly confused as to what was going on, and she appeared about to ask a question, when Pete and Claudia bolted, going quickly but quietly up the stairs.

Abigail frowned. “I have only the vaguest idea of what all of you are up to,” she said, “but you don’t have to hold back on my account.” She turned to go back into the living room. “Just let me know if any of you need anything,” she told him with a parting glance.

With a chuckle, Steve gave in to his curiosity and followed Pete and Claudia to the second floor.

He rolled his eyes when he saw the two of them standing to either side of Myka’s door, clearly trying to listen in. Still, Steve had to admit that he felt invested in all this, now. He went to stand next to Claudia.

He could only identify an occasional word or phrase, with most of the conversation fully inaudible.

“So sorry”

“Didn’t know”

“She said that”

“I missed you”

“Myka, please”

Steve really couldn’t tell what they were talking about, or even if the conversation was going well or not. He tapped Claudia on the shoulder and looked at her questioningly when she turned to face him. She could only shrug.

They should have been paying closer attention, however, because suddenly the door to Myka’s room opened.

Everyone froze.

“Seriously, you guys?” Myka asked. Her tone sounded annoyed, but she couldn’t quite keep the smile off her face.

Still, without further prompting, the three interlopers hurried away, with Pete calling out, “Sorry, Mykes,” as they disappeared back down the stairs.

***

Over the next two days, neither Myka nor H.G. revealed a thing. Their behavior, both separately and together, wasn’t any different than usual, and neither one disclosed anything of substance, no matter who asked them about anything. Steve couldn’t even determine if they were lying about anything, because they weren’t really saying anything at all.

It was driving Claudia crazy.

Finally, at least, it was time for their holiday party, and Claudia had told Steve that it was time for “desperate measures.” Steve had no idea what those measures were, and he wasn’t sure that he wanted to know, either.

He was happy to simply enjoy the party. Jeremy only had time to stop by for a little while, but it was really nice to have him there, even though it meant that no one could say anything Warehouse-related in his vicinity.

So far there hadn’t been any “drastic measures,” as far as Steve could tell. He grew suspicious, however, when Claudia came over and declared, “Excuse me, Jinksy, but I need to borrow your boyfriend for something. Come with me, please, drummer boy.”

Without waiting for a response, Claudia took hold of Jeremy’s arm and began steering him out of the room. Jeremy looked back to Steve with a bemused smile on his face, but Steve just smiled and shrugged.

Steve then turned to join Artie and Vanessa’s conversation, but he kept an eye out for either Claudia or Jeremy.

Before too long, Claudia peeked back around the doorway, her gaze zeroing in on where Myka and H.G. were standing close together on the other side of the room, talking. She leaned back, then, looking behind her, and Steve could barely hear her as she said, “Coast is clear. Mission is a go.”

Jeremy then walked back into the room. He winked at Steve as he walked right by him, holding something in his hands. Jeremy seemed to be heading towards Myka and H.G., but they didn’t appear to notice him. Claudia then moved back into the room as well, moving over to Steve’s side.

“What are you-” Steve began to ask, but Claudia just shushed him.

She cleared her throat and then called out, “Hey Mykes, H.G.!”

The women in question, along with everyone else in the room, turned to look towards Claudia, right as Jeremy was moving behind H.G. With them turned away, Jeremy reached up and quickly attached something to the wall sconce above their heads, before he moved back and out of the way.

“He’s taller than you,” Claudia murmured quietly to Steve, bringing his attention over to her, before he looked back across the room to try to figure out what had just happened.

Claudia then called out again, “I only just noticed, but how funny that you two decided to stand right there. Look above you!”

As she’d begun to talk, Steve had finally figured it all out. He had to give Claudia serious credit for somehow managing to pull this off.

Steve grinned, as Myka and H.G. both looked up to see the mistletoe now dangling above their heads.

H.G. simply laughed, but Jeremy’s movement away from her caught Myka’s attention, and she turned to look at him. Her eyes narrowed as she asked, “Did you have something to do with this?”

“Who, me?” Jeremy asked, shooting Myka an innocent look and raising his hands in submission. “No, of course not.” He returned to Steve’s side, reaching down to take his hand. Steve could only keep grinning.

“Well?” Vanessa asked, an amused twinkle in her eye. “It is tradition.”

“Yeah, Mykes!” Pete chimed in with a grin. Unhelpfully, he added, “Bow chicka wow wow!”

Myka looked about to protest, but H.G. quieted her with a gentle hand placed to Myka’s hip. “I do believe the jig is up, my darling,” she said, her eyes full of affection. “I suppose we should simply give them all what they seem to want.” Myka continued to scowl, but H.G. angled her head up and pressed a light kiss to Myka’s cheek. Myka blushed, but her demeanor practically melted at the contact, and she turned to look back at H.G. with a smitten smile.

Rolling her eyes, Myka called out, “I hate you all,” before she leaned in and firmly brought her lips to H.G.’s.

Claudia burst into applause, causing everyone to laugh as Myka and H.G. pulled apart.

The party then simply continued, with everyone seeming to agree not to embarrass Myka any further. For now, at least.

Steve did notice, however, that H.G. grabbed onto Myka’s hand, and Myka didn’t let go for the rest of the night.

Once they finished helping to clean up after the party, Steve and Claudia shared a smile and a high five.

It looked like ‘Operation: I Love You, Dude, But You Really Messed This One Up So Now We Have To Fix It’ could be marked down as a complete success.