Chapter Text
Seteth has had enough
He doesn't know what the Professor was thinking! Giving a gaggle of teenager's free reign over heroes relics! May as well start handing out knives to the orphans for Sothis' sake. Sure, that's essentially what they had done with Cyril but that's besides the point!
He found her at the training grounds, planting her knee firmly between Caspar's legs, causing him to double over in pain. Now standing over the collapsed bodies of Caspar and Ingrid, it was clear that, as usual, she hadn't gone easy on them.
"Professor? A moment of your time." He said in his most authoritative voice.
"I'm assuming this has something to do with Sylvain?" She said as she walked over, glancing at the Lance of Ruin in Seteth's hand.
"Yes indeed. I caught him in the act of using this to create gusts of wind that would knock the papers out of the hands of unsuspecting girls. Needless to say he then used the opportunity to 'come to their rescue' as he put it"
"HE WHAT?!" yelled Ingrid, somehow no longer winded and quite angry. "Of all the irresponsible- don't worry Professor I'll smack him into submission if I have to!" And with that, she was gone.
"While I don't agree with her method's, I concur with her sentiment" said Seteth. "Either teach your students proper conduct or I will confiscate all of their relics just like I did this one"
The Professor offered only a curt nod in response
Confident that he had gotten the message across, Seteth took his leave. The Professor stood there pondering for a few moments before exiting herself. She set off in search of Catherine. And maybe Linhardt too.
"ugh hellooo?" Realizing he was left to suffer in silence Caspar took a moment or three to get to his feet. Even he couldn't stop his face from turning crimson as he was forced to limp himself to the infirmary, occasionally stopping to massage his groin.
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A week later and the very first class of Relic Conduct Care and Usage was in session.
Seeing as these were weapons of mass destruction being wielded by a group of teenagers, the class was held outside of the main Monestary in a clearing between it and the inner wall. Byleth, along with her TA's Catherine and Linhardt, was tasked with teaching Sylvain, Ingrid, Felix, Hilda, and Lorenz how to use their respective relics. "Alright let's get started" she said and they gathered around her to listen for instruction. By the time they all arrived, Linhardt was already in a deep slumber underneath a nearby tree.
Sylvain raised his hand weakly, evidently still recovering from his Ingrid-inflicted-injuries. "Uh, Teach? Should we really be swinging our shiny new toys at eachother without any armor?"
"You will only be swinging your weapons at empty air, trees, and training dummies" she said in her Stern Teacher Voice™
Felix perked up at her response "Very well. In that case I'll be taking my leave seeing as my relic is no weapon" he said with a smirk.
Meeting his cold gaze with one of her own Byleth responded "feel free to try and leave if you think you can escape". Taking her words to heart he piped down as his smile turned into it's usual frown. He had seen her tackle a fleeing Bernadetta on more than one occasion.
"You know Professor" started Lorenz "You really needn't worry about injury with me around. My magical abilities are more than refined enough to prevent serious injury" he said with a chuckle and flick of Thyrsus.
Hilda was quick to respond "Riiiight. That's why the Professor always gives your little pixie stick to Lysithea whenever we go out into battle". Lorenz was left flustered and small chuckles from the others followed soon after.
Her patience wearing thin, Catherine spoke up "all right all right that's quite enough of that. Let's get started with lesson 1: Relic Care"
And with that, Linhardt finally woke up