Work Text:
It was a normal peaceful day like always; the cloud was bright, the sky was blue, the soft blowing wind was comfortable. Alex was doing a little research on making a Mexican dish named Pozole. It was Logan's recently new favorite food and Alex wanted to make him surprised so here he was, spending hours in their kitchen, his kitchen to be exact, watching cooking videos and failing times over times. But it's worth tho, Alex sang song to himself, he liked the way the light gleamed brightly in Logan's dark eyes, the way his usual signature smirk slowly shifted into a soft smile, and the way his strong arms hug him tightly with such love and passion; when he did some special things for Logan. Although he always told Logan to be too much of a sap, he did enjoy it deeply inside. But let's keep it a secret shall we?
While Alex was struggling with the new recipe, a 'ting' sound suddenly rang from his phone. He nonchalantly looked back at it just to see a new message pop up from "Crazy f*cker" aka Logan.
Crazy f*cker: Alex, babe, look at this!!! *attached a video*
Alex's eyebrow was rising curiously, Logan didn't always send video though, so he set aside his task and eagerly clicked on the video that Logan sent.
It was a short vid, only about 30s; but its content made Alex's face go pale and then red more quickly than ever. There's his infamous crazy cocky bastard of a husband Logan, stood proudly in front of their living room with his usual signature sadistic smirk on his face. He looked straight into the camera with that smirk, and then slowly turned away to face the wall while saying: "Alexa, I need my RPG."
And then Alexa, diligent as she always is, opened a fucking secret door on the wall.
What the fucking God fuck is this fucking thing??!!!! Alex almost nearly screamed out loud, and so did he while sending the voice chat to Logan.
Kitten: What the fuck is that shit you fucktard!!!! Why and how is there a fucking secret door on our living room wall?!!! Logan I swear to God if you can't explain this you and your Alexa can start packing your things right now!
Crazy f*cker: It’s always important to be prepared kitten!!
Kitten: Prepare for what you son of a....For what do you need a whole fucking army??!!!
Crazy f*cker: Babe, there ain't anything calls too much prepared *insert cocky smirk emoji*
Crazy f*cker : And you always can't be over prepared too *attached a picture of him standing in the secret room with shelves and cabinets full of military stuff: guns from all kinds of types, bullets, cold weapons like knives and blades, and a shit ton of things Alex couldn't even describe.
Kitten: That's it Logan, if you won't get rid of those things I'll kick your butt out of this house!!!
Crazy f*cker: Oh princess, you just haven’t see the tank that I bought yesterday through Amazon *smiley face emoji*
The blood was running so hard and fast to his brain that Alex felt a bit dizzy after he'd read Logan's message. He didn't even know he had an ischemic heart disease, since now. Calm down Alex, you need to calm down first, getting angry won't help you solve anything, Alex said to himself.
Kitten: First, how the hell did you get the money to buy one?! Second, where the hell are you going to put it and third, why the fuck do we need one??!!! Answer me fucker!!!!
Crazy f*cker: Ohhh babe don't be mad *kiss emoji*, when was the last time you checked our garage?
Kitten: ..... Do not tell me it's already there
Crazy f*cker: Guess bae *smirk emoji*
Kitten:.... I know what you're thinking so stop! I don't want to see it and I don't want to go to the garage either!! I want you to return it!!! Now!!!!
Oxadyy: I have to say that in case the lighter breaks, a tank is a good alternative.
Crazy f*cker: Exactly, what if we need an emergency lighter!?
Kitten: We can just buy a new one! A lighter cost only 3 dollars! A fucking tank costs hundreds of thousands!!!
Crazy f*cker: But I want us to ride this tank for our wedding!!! *sad puppy face* *attached a short vid of him attempting to make a sad puppy face* *attached a wedding picture on a tank*
It was a failed attempt, Alex would say that. Logan's face was just not born to do this, he's always so crazy and cocky and...Don't let yourself be fool by his gap moe Alex!!!! Be strong and sane!!!
Kitten: ....Don't look at me with that face!! And what wedding?!?! What are you talking about?!!? Stop talking nonsense!!! *angry emoji, angry emoji, confused emoji*
Crazy f*cker: You didn’t get this ring for free, mister! I still want my fucking wedding dammit!!! *angry puppy emoji x3*
God, can Logan stop being so cute for one da...Ahem!!! Alex left out a small cough trying to conceal his thought about an angry puppy Logan. He won't say it out loud, but in fact he can't be mad at Logan for long while he kept acting like this. So Alex smiled a little, only the smallest of little bit, and started convincing Logan to abandon all his crazy nonsense bullsh*t things.
Kitten: If you start behaving correctly, stop buying unnecessary items and stop burning the damn kitchen, then maybe I'll think about it! *cocky smiley face*
Crazy f*cker: Why can’t you accept me and who I am inside!!? *attached a GIF with a man sadly rides the tank into the rain*
Crazy f*cker: *attached a new video* Oopssss I think I got our car accidentally crushed LOL
Kitten: Whatttttttttt?????! The fucking God..... LOGAN!!! You'll buy us a new car this instant!! I need that for work!! How am I supposed to go to work now??!!!
Crazy f*cker: Can I get you a military plane instead??!?! *attached a picture of a puppy with sparkling eyes and a screenshot of some military planes*
Kitten:.... Logan, you just bought a tank. A fucking tank. Now a plane???? We have no where to put it and I wouldn't have anywhere to land it too! So no! No, no no!!! You can't buy me a plane! End of this convers!!!
Crazy f*cker:...Oh babe...but what if I, hypothetically speaking, already did...
Crazy f*cker: *smirking smiley face*
Oxadyy: Put a plane where the car was, every problem can be solved now *thumbs up emoji*
Crazy f*cker: Exactly! Oxadyy knows what’s up!!
Oxadyy: No problem Logan, I'm glad to help *okay hand emoji*
Kitten: Do you want to become homeless now??! How are you going to pay for the gas of both the tank and the plane?! And are you going to build a garage for it?!! Because I can tell you right now that it won't fit in that garage!! Oxadyy! Stop encouraging him! And why the fuck are there someone beside us on this two person chat room???!
Oxadyy: But Alex it's so fun ;-;
Crazy f*cker: Kitten? Did you forget who I am? I'm Logan Harris, if I want us to overtake this country and become its rulers, I can do it in one single night. *insert a GIF of a man holding gun in front of a car and sets it on fire, after the car is burnt to ashes many fireworks appear on the sky showing a sentence "CONQUER THE WORLD"*
Haha, he's just joking right, there's no way in the world Logan would actually do something like this right , Alex let out a nervous laugh. Oh shit he CAN actually do that. A cold chill ran straight through Alex's spine, and as fast as he could, Alex tried his best to tempt Logan away from his dangerous thought.
Kitten: hhaaa.... Logan.... if I let you do anything you want to me tonight, would you return the plane and tank?
Crazy f*cker: * insert a GIF of a man who's taking a sit and thinking long and hard* hmmmmmmmmmm
Crazy f*cker: I mean, I can always take over the world tomorrow... *insert a GIF of Beyoncé shrugs her shoulder while making the I-dont-know-what-you’re-saying face*
Kitten: Not that! If you decide to do that, you'll sleep with the dog outside. It's either yes or no. Return the plane and tank and you can do whatever you want for the night, or.... a whole week. Saying no and you can keep them and sleep with the dog for a whole week on the couch.
Crazy f*cker: Okay, kitten *wink emoji* I’ll get the rope and some items first and we shall begin our peaceful treaty *attached a pic of himself actually doing the wink thing, while being shirtless*
Oh god....what the actually hell did I get myself into , thought the poor Alex.
Kitten: First return the plane and tank!
Crazy f*cker: Now now kitten, I need some of your strong arguments first, before I'll use the tank and plane to blow up your workplace, return I mean return it of course * innocent smiley face emoji*
Crazy f*cker: *insert a voice message of him whispering in a deep, gravel and seductive voice* Show me how willing you are to protect this country from me.
Kitten:...... Don't overdo this and make me turn you into a punching bag Logan Harris!! If you try anything I will make your arm break again!!! I swear to the fucking God Logan, do you hear me?!!
Crazy f*cker: LOL, save up all this heat for the bed exercise. I'll be waiting for you, babe. *insert a crazily husky sexy laugh of him*
Kitten: Stop saying nonsense!
Such a crazy fucker, Alex cursed Logan constantly again; but that wouldn't erase the rising rosy cloud on his cheeks. God, why do I suddenly feel so hot in here. Maybe the damned air conditioner was broken or something , he thought to himself. Absolutely not because of Logan's laugh!!!
Crazy f*cker: Arggghhh, I’m too hard for this right now babe, wait
A new confusion rose up inside Alex, what did Logan mean when he said wait? He's probably at work right now, so why do I feel something would happen instantly...
And that's the moment when Logan stormed in their house. He still wore his suit from the job, but the vest was already thrown away alongside with the cravat, and the three first buttons were already unbuttoned. Sweats ran through his face like he's just doing a quick marathon, made his honey skin glowing with light; and Logan let out a long breath, after that he suddenly started laughing in a husky and gravel voice ,which was strained by running too fast in such a short time:
"I said wait for me right."
And then he picked Alex all up like he was a princess and headed to the bedroom:
"Time to put all this energy into a good use shouldn't we, kitten?"
"Logan Harris!! You put me down right now!!!"- Alex was trying with all his strength to break free, but Logan was too strong for him even when he's already tired from a long run.
"Now comes the dinner baby." - Logan smirked, it was his infamous signature sadistic smirk like always, but then he kissed Alex in the forehead with such loving, caring and gentle force.
And it made Alex melt immediately under him like a newly baked fresh pudding, he never could resist Logan's loving action; regardless how mad he was. He is Logan, after all , Alex thought to himself, well I only let him go this time, only this time...
Addy34721: Poor poor Alex... he should have come up with a different plan *joy, joy, joy emojis*
ShenQ: Too bad we can't see them until next week lmao xD
...............................................
The End