Chapter Text
Akaashi never had much confidence his whole life but high school just lowered it to where it was constantly messing with him.
He barely looked in mirrors anymore
When he did look in a mirror, all he saw was
How ugly and big his thighs were
How big his hands are
How messy his hair is
And so on
He rarely talked which isn't out of the ordinary, but now it was becoming a problem.
Akaashi couldn't stand anything about himself.
He had so many people in his life that could help but felt so alone.
He felt like just giving up and laying down in his bed forever.
His insecurities ate him up every night
He felt so ugly.
He couldn't look on social media without thinking
Why isn't my stomach flat?
Why am I not that strong looking?
Why I am I not that tall?
Why is my nose not like theirs?
Akaashi tried to push these thoughts out, but they always came back
Sometimes he saw those little posts that said something about being you and to not be so insecure but those never really helped.
Akaashi felt stuck
He needed help.
“So what do you need?” Bokuto asked.
I sat on my bed with Bokuto next to me with a questioning look.
“I uh wanted to tell you something that is kinda important --well not really-- but it's kinda like uh well has-is like been bothering me — actually y know what never mind” I stumbled out somehow
My courage had managed to disappear in a matter of seconds.
Bokuto looked at me with a sad and confused face.
“What's bothering you?” he asked with a sad tone
I looked down at my lap
I regret doing this, but I know everything with crash and be in ruins if I continue like this.
“I-”
I stopped and rethought everything
Was this really worth it?
What if he gets mad or judges me?
I know he would never do that but that didn't stop the thoughts.
“You…?” Bokuto asked cautiously.
“Well I haven't been feeling well for um-for um a while” I said
“Are you sick?” Bokuto asked.
“No its just that I haven't well really-” I sputtered out
All my insecurities came crashing down on me and felt like I couldn't do this anymore.
Tears began forming in my eyes and slowly started falling.
Bokuto noticed and pulled me into a hug.
Something just popped like a bubble in me and my tears just came out like a river, I shoved my head against Bokuto's shirt.
“I-I just-just can't look at myself in the mirror o-or-” I sobbed into his shirt
Bokuto pressed my head against his chest harder and started rubbing my back.
“Or lo-look online wi-without feeling ugly and insecure” I started sobbing more
“Shh it's ok” Bokuto softly said
“I-I hate how ugly my hair a-and my messy hair a-and-and my stomach is flat and s-strong” I said into his shirt
“I don't know how to really help you with words, but I'll try to get it all out as best as I can” Bokuto said
Bokuto laid us both down on my bed and started talking about how much he loved me and what he loved about my body.
I don't know when, but I eventually fell asleep in his arms.
When I woke up Bokuto was gone
I was a little disappointed but got up and went to the kitchen where I found a plate of food and a note on the table.
I sat down at the table and picked up the note.
The note read
Hey Akaashi
I know you haven't been feeling too good for some time, so I wanted to remind you that
You're beautiful
You're smart
You're so pretty
I love you so much and would do anything for you in a heartbeat <3
Love,
Bokuto
When I finished reading the note I noticed the dark spots on the paper and placed his hand on his wet cheeks.
Every day after that Bokuto gave me those small notes.
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I walked into my bathroom and saw a note on his mirror from Bokuto that read
“Cute bed head ;)”
I smiled
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They were so random sometimes.
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I was looking through my dresser and found another note from Bokuto
“These pants make your thighs look 20× hotter ;)”
I chuckled.
-----------------------
It was a weird attempt a flirting
But it really helped with my confidence and I slowly started feeling better about myself.
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I was looking for my science notebook but instead found a HUGE notebook that said
“Akaashi<3”
When I read it he found all the pages were filled with everything Bokuto loved about me.
I honestly loved it.
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I found notes like that for 8 years straight.
On year 4 me and Bokuto got together.
On year 8 Bokuto proposed.
----
“I, Bokuto, take thee, Akaashi, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”
----
After the wedding ended me and Bokuto sat on the steps and looked at the stars in silence.
The silence ended when Bokuto started speaking
“Akaashi” he spoke softly
“Yeah?” I asked still looking at the night sky.
“I love you so much” he spoke.
“I know” I said with a smile
“I would do anything for you in a heartbeat” He said as he turned his head towards me.
I turned my head towards him.
“I would too”
In a heartbeat.