Chapter Text
If Jeongguk had a choice, he would have alphas banned from the library. They liked loud games, they talked about any omega who walked past them in less-than-subtle voices, they postured and fought… in short, they ruined the library whenever they decided to enter it.
But he supposed it was unfair to ban half the student body from their only reliable source of books.
He crouched behind the shelf, swallowing his panic and clutching his books against his chest. The two alphas blocking his way out continued to talk amiably, immune to his distress. Jeongguk sniffed his wrist, checking for his scent, but his blockers still worked well, though he already felt himself getting sweaty under the collar.
Shouldn’t have worn this stupid shirt. he tugged on it, unbuttoning another button only to rebutton it as he considered the possible consequences of passing two alphas with his shirt hanging open. The last thing he needed was attention. I can’t wait for them to leave. But what if they leave in a minute? he scanned the shelves, looking for a book that might distract him long enough that, goddess willing, he would look back at the exit from his little nook and realize the alphas had left.
No such luck. Jeongguk added three more books to his stack, but that was all he could carry, and the alphas were still there, just as oblivious to him as always. Which shouldn’t have been a thing; Jeongguk was tall, muscular, big enough to take up the space around him if he wanted to. The real problem was he didn’t want to. He didn’t want those alphas looking at him, didn’t want them discreetly fanning their pheromones toward him, didn’t want any attention at all.
And it was fast becoming clear that he would have to get it, even if only for a brief moment.
Jeongguk sighed and tucked the books as close against his chest as he could, taking a deep breath and walking toward the two alphas. They leaned against the shelves on either side of the opening, talking and bragging as alphas were wont to do. They didn’t notice him approaching, but as he drew even with them he ducked his head and hurried between them, holding in his sigh of relief until he was far enough away not to be obvious anymore. He heard a low whistle and stiffened, but they didn’t call after him, and as he hurried to the check-out kiosk he was able to pull out his library card without dropping it on the ground. He checked the books out and hastily shoved them into his bag, swallowing as he turned and saw another group of alphas hanging out by the exit. What is this, some sort of gauntlet? But Jeongguk took a deep breath, pulled his bag over his shoulder, and made it through the doors without any of the potential disasters that ran through his head as he went.
“Wow, that’s a pretty one,” one of the alphas muttered behind him, and Jeongguk suppressed the urge to take off running, though there was nothing he could do to prevent the flush that painted itself across the back of his neck and the tips of his ears, betraying him to anyone willing to look a little closer.
Stupid stupid stupid alphas!
Jeongguk forced himself to maintain a relaxed pace on his way home, though he couldn’t help but break into a sprint as he came within sight of his apartment, rushing inside and locking the door behind him. He set the bag of books down on his coffee table, sighing, and flopped onto the couch, staring at the bookshelf beside him. He eyed the titles, sighing as he sank onto his side and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders. So many romance stories… Why do I still waste my time? he wondered sulkily, reaching for his phone. There’s no way it’s going to happen. I’ll just be alone forever.
He dialed Taehyung first. Taehyung was more likely to pick up, and Jeongguk needed a deeper voice to help soothe some of the panic still boiling in his lungs from being so close to so many alphas. He rolled onto his back as it rang, staring up at the ceiling.
“Guk? What is it?”
“Hey,” Jeongguk hummed. “Can you-- are you available to hang out tonight?”
“Ah… Jimin and I are on a date right now,” Taehyung sighed, guilt tainting his voice. “Sorry.”
“No, no!” Jeongguk yelped. “I’ll watch a drama or something, don’t feel guilty.”
“If you say so,” Taehyung murmured. “Is everything alright?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk mumbled. It wasn’t necessarily a lie, he did feel much better listening to Taehyung. “Just missing you guys.”
“Awwww, we’ll come over tomorrow. You’ve got the morning off, right?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk chuckled, a smile twitching at his lips. “Enjoy your date, then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow!”
Then he was gone, and Jeongguk sighed, setting his phone down for a fraction of a moment before lifting it again and flicking to his gallery. He rolled onto his stomach, tugged a pillow into one arm, and clicked on a video of his friends laughing, sighing and snuggling deeper into the blanket.
I’ll be fine, he thought, but he still felt the nasty lurch in his stomach that signaled a hard night coming. I’ll be fine. Plenty of omegas live without alphas their whole life, and they’re fine. I can always settle, if it gets unbearable.
He huffed, kicking at the cushions. But I don’t want to settle!
He whined to himself, swiping to another video and watching Taehyung pull Jimin in for a kiss. Why can’t alphas be a little nicer?
Jeongguk rested his chin on his arm, blinking sleepily at the video. Taehyung and Jimin broke apart, smiling at each other with that sappy look in their eyes. Why can’t I have that? he wondered sadly, shifting and closing his eyes. I just want… I just want that....
He didn’t mean to fall asleep on the couch, but as he relaxed, his eyes drifted shut, and when they opened again he was lying in the dark, with his phone dead and the light from the dvd player blinking across the room.
Jeongguk sighed, sitting up, and grabbed his bag, biting his lip to keep from huffing too loudly as he stuffed his phone in his pocket and wandered to his room in the dark. When he set the bag down, the thud was louder than he expected and sent a jolt through his stomach.
If I had an alpha, would I feel like this? Everything seems so dangerous. He wondered whether or not he was about to throw up.
No, I’m overthinking it. I can take care of myself. Mom made sure of that.
Jeongguk fumbled in his drawers for the softest pajamas he owned and huffed his way through putting them on, squeezing his eyes shut every so often so as to control the darkness pressing in on him.
They’ll be here in the morning, and it will all be fine. I’ll be fine. I just need to go to bed and get some sleep, and I won’t feel so off-kilter in the morning. I don’t need to think about alphas anymore, and I don’t need an alpha to feel okay. That’s what Jimin would say... Jeongguk tugged on the hem of the pajama shirt, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. I’ll be fine.
He chanted it to himself as he crawled into bed, wrapping himself in his blankets and kicking them around until his body let him settle, satisfied with his position. I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. He kicked the blankets one last time, then curled into a tight ball, closing his eyes and letting out a loud sigh. I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.
...I want an alpha...
***
“Guk! Gukkie! It’s past ten!”
Jeongguk whined, burrowing deeper into the blankets. It was cold. There was no way it was as late as Taehyung claimed. No way. It’s not that close to winter yet. I should be boiling.
“Gukkieeeeeeeee,” Taehyung whined, and Jimin chuckled. Jeongguk felt the bed dip; then Jimin flopped on top of him, dug his fingers in his sides and started to wiggle them around. Jeongguk yelped, squirmed around, and found himself sitting in front of his two best friends. He blinked grumpily at them, crossing his arms. “What?”
“Good morning,” Jimin huffed, grinning. “We made breakfast for you and we don’t want you to eat it cold. Are you coming?”
Jeongguk’s pout deepened. Jimin cooed, poking his nose. Taehyung reached over to pinch his cheeks, giggling like it was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. “What?” Jimin asked. “Aren’t you hungry? Come eat something.”
“Okay,” Jeongguk mumbled, the words squished between Taehyung’s fingers. “Stoppp.”
“Alright, alright,” Taehyung let go of his face, but leaned in and kissed his cheek. When Jeongguk whined, he gave him a cheeky grin. “I need to take them all before my baby finds a mate!”
“Not your baby,” Jeongguk grumbled, cheeks already fire-engine red.
“Sure, sure,” Taehyung laughed. “Come on, food!”
Jeongguk wobbled his way out of bed, but moments later (not without some resignation), he found himself face down in his blankets again. What a mystery. He wiggled deeper into them and yelped when Jimin hauled him away, laughing in his ear.
“Come on, sleepyhead! No more napping!”
“Can I go back to bed please?” Jeongguk mumbled.
“Nope! Breakfast! ”
“I’m not hungry anymore.” Jeongguk whined.
“You can say that all you want and it won’t make it true,” Jimin chuckled.
Jeongguk whined, but Jimin hoisted him into his arms and carried him into the kitchen, sitting him down in the chair and adjusting the blanket they had dragged in with them. Jeongguk looked down at the eggs, sausage, and hash browns on his plate and sighed, resting his head beside them. At least they smelled good.
“So,” Taehyung hummed, sitting down beside him. “What got you last night?”
Jeongguk blinked up at him. “Dunno what you’re talking about,” he muttered.
“You never call on your library days unless something happens,” Taehyung huffed, running a hand through Jeongguk’s hair. “What happened?”
“It’s not a big deal,” Jeongguk mumbled, tucking his head in his elbow and taking a deep breath.
“Guk, anything that gets you to give us a call is a big deal. Please?”
Jeongguk sighed, closing his eyes. “Lots of alphas at the library.”
Taehyung let out a low growl. “Did they say anything? Do I need to--”
“Nothing bad,” Jeongguk sighed. “Just-- all in the wrong places. Always by the doors or spots I needed to walk by. Always loud. Always nasty.”
“They certainly are,” Jimin let out a sympathetic hum. “But you made it home okay? No one harassed you or--”
“No one,” Jeongguk mumbled. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” Jimin asked. “Face it, Guk, you gave us an excuse to come check on you, and we’ve needed that for awhile. Don’t be sorry.”
“Still,” Jeongguk whined.
Taehyung huffed, picking up the fork and stabbing a sausage. He poked Jeongguk’s lips with it, pouting. “Eat this, come on. Eat ittttt.”
“I don’t--” Jeongguk found his mouth full of the sausage and had to settle for glaring at Taehyung. Taehyung gave him an innocent smile in return.
“C’mon,” Taehyung coaxed. “Just a little?”
Jeongguk growled at him. Taehyung kept smiling. Jeongguk sighed and bit off the end of the sausage. He blinked in surprise when Taehyung’s smile turned relieved, but chewed and swallowed anyway before sitting up.
“Tae?” he mumbled.
“Yeah?”
“Why are you…” Jeongguk sighed, slumping in his chair. “Nevermind.”
“Nevermind what?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Really nothing, or nothing as in you don’t want to bother us?”
“That.”
Taehyung sighed, ruffling Jeongguk’s hair. “I’m gonna need some more detail.”
Jeongguk sighed, wrapping his arms around his knees. “How am I supposed to find a mate when alphas are so-- so--”
Taehyung sighed, slipping closer to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. For a moment, he was quiet. Then he stuck the last of the sausage in Jeongguk’s mouth and mumbled, “You know it doesn’t have to be an alpha, right?”
“I know,” Jeongguk whined. “But I want one. I know I could be like you and Jimin; I just-- I want one.”
“Have you considered why?”
“Yes,” Jeongguk huffed. “We’ve talked about this before.”
“I know, but you were tired and coming off your heat,” Taehyung murmured. “Are you sure…”
“I’m sure!” Jeongguk grumbled, burrowing into Taehyung’s arms. “Just don’t want a jerk.”
Taehyung laughed, and Jimin joined him, reaching out to massage Jeongguk’s back. “If you say so,” Jimin sighed. “But we can always hook you up with someone else if you need them.”
“Not hooking up with anyone,” Jeongguk muttered.
Jimin slapped his shoulder. “Not like that! Goober!”
“I’m not a goober!” Jeongguk whined.
“Keep telling yourself that,” Jimin huffed. “Alright. Time for you to eat some more food.”
“I’m not hungry,” Jeongguk growled.
“No, you’re sulking,” Jimin laughed. “Here. Sausage. Ahhhhh.”
“I don’t want sausage,” Jeongguk grumbled.
“Again, you’re pouting. C’mon.”
“No.”
Jimin sighed and set the fork down. “What then, bub? What are you gonna do about this?”
“Nothing,” Jeongguk sulked. “Because I don’t need to do anything. I’m probably never going to find a good one anyway.”
“Not with that attitude,” Taehyung huffed. He tried to tickle him again, but Jeongguk just huffed and whined, burrowing into his lap and refusing to come out. “Jeongguk. Hey.”
“I’m not gonna!” Jeongguk whined, and Taehyung laughed, rubbing his back.
“I didn’t say you have to do anything, but if you feel like you should do something, you should probably do it.”
Jeongguk groaned and Taehyung squirmed. “Stop it, you little--”
“Alright, I think it’s time for us to go,” Jimin chuckled. “Seriously, Guk. Eat the food.”
“Okay,” Jeongguk huffed.
“We’ll see you later, alright? Call if you need anything!”
“I will,” Jeongguk huffed. I always do, don’t I?
The front door shut and locked, and Jeongguk sighed, lifting his head from the chair and sticking a sausage into his mouth. Talking with Jimin and Taehyung was just a reminder. He wasn’t wishing for an alpha on some bored whim. He wanted someone, someone who would hold him and make him feel safe, someone he could talk to, someone who didn’t make him feel shy and scared and in danger.
Too bad there was no such thing as an alpha with those traits.
Jeongguk sulked and poked at the eggs, glowering at the flowers on the windowsill. Well, screw fate and screw modern society; he was going to read his books, go to work, and veg on the couch like a proper member of his generation, and he was going to enjoy it.
I can make it another day without an alpha. I don’t need them!
Jeongguk sighed, wrapping his arms over his head and putting it on the table.
I’m a terrible liar, aren’t I.
***
Jeongguk spent the weekend the way he always spent the weekend: with books and friends, either letting an author drag him around inside their imaginary world or letting Taehyung and Jimin drag him around the real world. By Monday, he found himself back at the library later than usual, talking himself out of every other anxious glance toward the fading light outside the door and trying to focus on finding a book he hadn’t read before. He needed something new, something good, something not… he grimaced at the blurb on the back of the book in his hand, hastily replacing it.
Who writes this stuff?
He didn’t notice the extra notes of vanilla and perfume laying themselves over the smell of old paper until he reached for another book, biting his lip, and felt his fingertips brush those of another man standing next to him. He blinked up at him, registering warm brown eyes and fluffy purple hair, before pulling back with a soft yelp. “I’m sorry--”
“No, no,” the man smiled, drawing back and looking down at his feet. Jeongguk caught a hint of pink at the tips of his ears and felt his own turn red to match.
“Do you want it?” the man asked, indicating the book.
Jeongguk shrugged, fixing his gaze on the shelf beside the man’s hand. “I, uh-- I was just looking--”
“Oh? Have you read this before?”
Jeongguk shook his head, staring in half-horror as the man reached over and pulled the book out, offering it to him. “It’s really good,” the man mumbled, then gave Jeongguk a discerning look before yelping and giving him a quick bow. “I’m so sorry!”
“What…?” Jeongguk looked behind him, but there wasn’t anyone else who might have caught the man’s eye. The man stood, shifting his weight, and avoided Jeongguk’s eye, laughing a little.
“I just realized-- you're the omega who well, uh,” he scratched the back of his head, turning pink. “If I’m making you uncomfortable, I can go…?”
Jeongguk blinked, swallowed, and bit his lip, shrugging. “You’re not,” he mumbled, and the man-- the alpha -- relaxed, smiling.
“Nice to meet you then. I’m Seokjin.”
“Jeongguk,” Jeongguk mumbled, giving him a small bow. “Sorry for not--”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Seokjin yelped, offering him the book again. “But seriously, this is pretty good! It’s not my
absolute favorite
, but I don’t think they have copies of that one.”
Jeongguk nodded slowly, accepting the book and flipping it over. The blurb looked promising, at least, and there was no swooning omega on the cover. “What’s it about?” he asked.
“Oh, the usual, actually,” Seokjin laughed. “Ice Prince Omega meets Fiery Goofball Alpha. But it’s Fantasy, so it’s not as unbearable as some I’ve read.”
Jeongguk giggled, nodding and tucking the book into his arm. One down, four to go. He glanced at Seokjin, then back at the shelves, taking a deep breath before blurting out, “Are there any others?”
“Like sequels?” Seokjin asked, humming and looking back at the shelf. “I don’t think so. But this one’s also pretty good.” He stood on his tiptoes and pulled down a book from the top shelf, passing it over to him. “I’ll admit, I cried.”
Jeongguk flipped the book over to read the blurb. “Is this a meet-cute?” he mumbled, and Seokjin chuckled.
“No, no. It might look like that at first, but phew !” Jeongguk looked up in time to see him pretend to wipe tears from his eyes and felt another giggle bubble up through his lips.
“What about you?” Seokjin asked. “Do you have favorites?”
Jeongguk started to shake his head, then paused, scanning the shelf. It was always there, no one picked it up… aha! He pointed to a book just over their heads, and Seokjin stretched up to pull it down, letting out a gasp of delight at the cover before turning pink and covering his mouth with one hand. “I love this one! I just read it yesterday.”
“Really?” Jeongguk asked softly, and when Seokjin nodded, he felt his heart flutter, even if just a little. “That’s amazing.”
“Yeah,” Seokjin sighed. “Almost like…” he trailed off, then laughed and shook his head. “Nevermind. Now this is the perfect excuse to reread!”
Jeongguk couldn’t help a small giggle. “Do you work here?”
“Nah, just a volunteer.” Seokjin smiled. “Needed an excuse to be somewhere quiet.”
Jeongguk thought of the alphas jabbering away around every corner and his confusion must have shown on his face, because Seokjin chuckled, tucking the book under his arm. “I work somewhere else,” he explained. “It gets much louder.”
Jeongguk shuddered at the thought. Seokjin laughed, then turned back to the bookshelf. “Any others that caught your eye?”
Jeongguk tugged another book out, handing it over. To his surprise, Seokjin flipped it open to the middle and read a few lines, lips quirking upward.
“This looks good,” he hummed, adding it to his stack. “Wow, maybe I should spend more time on this shelf.”
“It’s a good shelf,” Jeongguk murmured. “All the good books get tucked here for some reason.”
“Oh? Now that’s something I haven’t heard before.”
Jeongguk laughed, shaking his head. “It’s just a personal opinion. All the stuff that doesn’t have toxic dynamics or worn-out tropes gets stored here.”
“Oh? And what would you call a worn-out trope?”
“Lots of them,” Jeongguk sighed, tracing his hand down the spines of the books without looking at Seokjin. “People seem to love them still, but I’ve read them so many times… I just wish people would try something new.”
“Have you ever tried writing before?”
Jeongguk turned pink at the ears. “No, I could never.”
Seokjin nodded, and Jeongguk felt a rush of shame. “It’s just an opinion,” he mumbled, running a hand through his hair and forcing himself to take another deep breath. “I just wish… I don’t know. Writing a story will take too long, anyway, and they’re never the same. If it’s all the stuff in my head it’s not new, you know?”
“Now that’s something I haven’t heard before.” Seokjin blinked. “So you’ve read a lot?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk murmured, tracing the spine of a nearby book with his finger. “I have.”
“If you could only read ten books for the rest of your life, which ones would you pick?”
“That’s a question that ends in death,” Jeongguk blurted, then slapped a hand over his mouth, pressing his lips together and squeezing his eyes shut. Seokjin burst into startled laughter, and when Jeongguk peeked over at him he had disappeared-- no, he had crouched to tuck his head between his knees, shoulders shaking with amusement.
“I couldn’t agree more,” he chuckled, and Jeongguk felt the back of his neck warm up.
“Sorry.”
“For what?” Seokjin asked, standing and turning to face him. “It’s a good opinion to have.”
“Maybe,” Jeongguk mumbled. “I just… I read a lot.”
“So do I,” Seokjin chuckled. “When I’m not being interrupted by my coworkers during breaks, that is. These books will be a good place to relax for a bit.”
“I’m glad,” Jeongguk mumbled.
“I should finish shelving these books,” Seokjin sighed. “But it was nice talking to you!”
“Yeah.” Jeongguk smiled. “Sorry for--”
“Don’t apologize,” Seokjin chuckled, smiling at him. “I’m always glad to chat with a fellow reader.”
Jeongguk nodded, wishing he could fan his face without making Seokjin laugh at him. He waited until Seokjin had disappeared around the corner to sink into a crouch, burying his face in his knees to muffle a low whine.
How did I do that?! He probably thinks I’m crazy.
But… he did seem nice...
But what if he’s faking? Maybe he doesn’t read books at all. What if he was just trying to flirt?
Jeongguk swallowed, standing and walking around the corner. He spotted Seokjin crouched in the next aisle over and paused, watching him. Seokjin had the book Jeongguk had given him open and was giggling at something, a hand over his face to stifle the sound. Jeongguk felt a smile of his own twitch at his lips.
Well, at least I can relate to that.
***
At home that night, Jeongguk flipped through the book Seokjin gave him but couldn’t focus. Thoughts of the alpha fluttered through his mind, interrupting thoughts of the alpha from the book over and over until he sighed and set it down.
I’m not getting any reading done tonight.
He picked up his phone, considering calling Jimin and Taehyung, but one glance at the clock discouraged him. They were probably on a date by now. He got up, setting the book on the coffee table, and walked into the kitchen, crouching to retrieve another book that had fallen under the table. Maybe if I read this one… he flipped it open, leaning against the couch-- but he just couldn’t stop thinking about Seokjin.
He seemed so nice.
Is there such a thing as an alpha like that?
No, they’re all… but what if it’s just here? What if he came from somewhere else?
Jeongguk sighed, setting the book on the kitchen table and pulling the refrigerator open. Shit. He’d forgotten to buy groceries. Could I be any more of a ditz? There’s bound to be tons of them swarming the grocery store by now.
A shiver of anxiety ran down his gut, and he considered his options, sighing as he realized that sliced cheese really wasn’t going to work out. He pulled out his phone, dialing Jimin, but the dial went to voicemail, and there was only one reason Jimin wouldn’t pick up. Jeongguk sighed, shoving his phone in his pocket and going to get his keys.
Well, maybe the time at the gym will help if one of them decides I look like a hunk of fresh meat.
The grocery store was a short walk from his house, so he stuffed his wallet and apartment keys into the inside pocket of his jacket and zipped it up to his chin, hurrying down the staircase outside the complex and making sure the gate was shut properly behind him before he made his way toward the shopping center.
As he’d expected, troupes of alphas sat outside the grocery store, talking and laughing and tossing beer cans to each other. Jeongguk swallowed, resisting the urge to put his head down and run as he walked between them, and the moment the store door closed behind him he let out a soft sigh of relief, heading straight for the bread section. I’ll just get the stuff for sandwiches and go. I can come for everything else some other night.
It didn’t take long for him to grab the main ingredients, but as he turned a corner a familiar scent traced itself under his nose and he felt his stomach drop in surprise.
“Jeongguk?”
“Hi,” Jeongguk squeaked. “You-- you live around here?”
Seokjin smiled and nodded, tucking a box of croutons into his basket. “Did you start that book?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk sighed. “It’s… I’ve been distracted.”
“I know the feeling,” Seokjin chuckled, already moving down the aisle. Jeongguk followed, almost without thinking. “My roommate is working on a new song. Blasted noise going all day.”
“I’m sorry,” Jeongguk mumbled, and Seokjin shook his head, smiling at him.
“It’s not your fault,” he murmured. “What about you? You have a roommate?”
“Sorrrrt of?” Jeongguk winced, turning pink.
Seokjin laughed. “Out of the house a lot?”
Jeongguk nodded, and Seokjin nodded in return, and they sank into a silence that was distinctly more uncomfortable than the one they had fallen into at the library. Jeongguk stared at his feet as they walked together, desperately searching for another thing to talk about, but there was nothing.
I can’t just walk off, he thought, stomach swooping. But I can’t-- urgh, why did I do this? I could have just run off and everything would have been fine!
Why am I like this...
“Is that everything you’re getting?” Seokjin asked, and Jeongguk looked down at his basket, nodding.
“Just the essentials,” he managed, and Seokjin gave him a knowing smile. Jeongguk realized they were approaching the checkout lanes and felt a burst of relief. He would have an excuse to leave soon. He didn’t have to just tell Seokjin goodbye. He had to check out, it all made sense. It was going to be fine.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk sighed, “I guess-- I guess this is it?”
Seokjin chuckled. “I guess. Unless you’d like me to walk you home?”
Jeongguk’s heart dropped and didn’t start beating for a good five seconds. He swallowed, setting his basket on the conveyor belt, and tried to formulate an excuse, but could find none. Please please please no no no I can’t do that that’s not safe I can’t do that--
“You don’t have to accept,” Seokjin murmured. “I understand needing alone time.”
It wasn’t alone time, but Jeongguk latched onto the excuse, nodding quickly. “Yeah.” he nodded, mind still racing too far ahead for his mouth to keep up. “Yeah, I need-- I’ll be fine by myself. I mean, I-- not that you’re--”
“I understand,” Seokjin hummed, smiling gently. “Don’t worry about it. Just get home safe, yeah?”
Jeongguk breathed a sigh of relief, shoulders slumping. “Yeah.”
He escaped the store with his change and the bag of groceries and had to fight not to start running. He couldn’t stop looking behind him, sure at every minute that he was wrong, that Seokjin was following him and he’d made a terrible, terrible mistake. I can’t believe I let an alpha get that close to me. What if he’s a terrible person? I don’t even know where he lives. What if we’re close? Please, please no.
But Seokjin wasn’t walking behind him. Seokjin wasn’t anywhere close. When Jeongguk gave in to his anxiety and took a deep inhale, Seokjin’s scent wasn’t anywhere. Jeongguk checked his jacket for it in surprise, feeling a strange current of relief running through him as he realized he didn’t smell like Seokjin at all.
How did he not put his scent on me? Alphas can’t help it.
But, somehow, Seokjin’s scent wasn’t on him.
Jeongguk walked slowly back to his apartment and locked the door behind him, managing to make it to the table before he sat down and put his head in his hands, threading his fingers into his hair and holding on tight.
How?
How did he do it?
He thought of Seokjin and the understanding smile he’d given him, and his heart began to beat faster, banging around in his chest. There was something… but no. It was just two times, he told himself sternly. It was just two times. It’s not… but what if it is?
What if he’s not like the rest of them?
Jeongguk sighed, resting his head on the table. As he did, his phone buzzed, and he picked up the call, humming a ‘hello?’ without lifting his head.
“Just checking in. You okay?”
“Yeah. Just had to get groceries.”
Jimin let out a hiss of sympathy. “Sorry. We were--”
“I know, hyung,” Jeongguk sighed. “I survived.”
“You want us to come over?”
“No, I’m okay now.”
“Call us if that changes,” Jimin hummed. “I’m gonna go shower, but Tae keeps his phone on. Okay?”
“Okay,” Jeongguk murmured. “Bye.”
“Bye!”
Jeongguk hung up and sighed, resting his head on the table. It can’t be, he thought, taking a deep breath. It’s just not possible.
But what if it is?
***