Archive of Our Own

blanket warning: the below contains a variety of ships, tropes, and kinks. continue at your own risk.

breeding banquet cont.

• albedo
  • aphrodisiac - it lasts for a quite a while even after albedo is done and some alpha tries to thank albedo but he just gives them a look and leaves. he's done here.
  • diluc is actually sorta polite to albedo - can't really help but do so when he's so cordial to everyone. hard to be mad at albedo.
  • until he asks to use an aphrodisiac. diluc's freezes - he did not see this coming from albedo of all people - and he's ready to pull out his claymore right there, but then our man crepus rolls by and is like ofc you can... for a price wink. albedo calmly replies "of course", crepus looks around and asks "any objections?" and everyone just looks eager, so he gives the go ahead. 
  • medical kink?? maybe albedo is just wants to test this new aphrodisiac he just made and is like oh might as well kill two birds with one stone and use it on kaeya? and when he finally knots kaeya he keeps asking him qs like how did that feel? hm, how does this feel? what about this? and kaeya's just like fucking losing it
• beidou
  • beidou's on a mission to get an omega whore for the crew to share. life's lonely on the seas
• ningguang
  • sth about jade chamber and having luxuries representing her status? or triumphing over everyone else?
• beiguang
  • beidou steps up for her turn and someone in the crowd scoffs. it's ningguang. "having a night off from illegal smuggling?"
  • beidou grins at her. "exactly."
  • ningguang tosses her hair over her shoulder. "well, i suppose pirates must spend much of their time engaging in such degeneracy. you must think you know how to pleasure an omega."
  • "alphas too," beidou says, smiling with her teeth. "you want a demonstration?"
  • ningguang scoffs. "if you can't even make an omega come, don't think about flirting with me."
  • "alright, deal." beidou shoves two fingers into kaeya and flicks at his clit, making him whimper. "this night is shaping up to be very profitable," she muses. "first, an omega for the crux - my men will love you, sweet boy - and next," she winks at ningguang. "a proper lady to sweeten the deal."
  • ningguang crosses her arms. "go on, then. or is there nothing to back up your words?"
  • ok i suddenly ship this
• crepus
  • kaeya's mouth is available anytime for anyone. people try not to use it bc they're saving up their cum to breed kaeya with but some people can't take it and use him, or some others finish their turn and go another round in his mouth. since crepus isn't participating in the breeding competition, he takes kaeya's mouth a few times (and it's not the first time he's fucked kaeya either - tradition says kaeya should be a virgin for the breeding ceremony, but a good businessman always tries his own merchandise first. besides, he's confident no one will know - kaeya has always been tight as a virgin every single time crepus fucked him.). crepus sees diluc's clenched fist and suggests he relieve some tension by using kaeya's mouth, but he shakes his head stubbornly and continues taking names. crepus is like whatever but it's actually bc diluc is saving himself for the end, when he's going to pump so much seed in kaeya he overflows with it.
• diluc
  • when every single alpha has taken kaeya, crepus is about to close the evening and thank the guests when diluc, glaring at crepus, steps behind kaeya. crepus blinks. well, okay. diluc is his precious son by blood, after all, and if kaeya is married to diluc then it would be convenient for crepus to continue fucking kaeya, so sure, go ahead. 
  • diluc runs his fingers over kaeya's ruined hole, gaping and overflowing with slick and cum, and then, with his fingers stuffed inside, leans over and whispers in kaeya's ear. kaeya seems to snap back to reality from whatever hazy world he was in and cries out "alpha" so desperately crepus is like ?? did i miss something ??
  • when diluc fucks kaeya, kaeya screams. his toes curl, his struggles in his bonds renew, and he keeps chanting "alpha, alpha, breed me, give me your pups, please, luc, just you, only you-"
  • there are a lot of people now crossing their arms and glaring at crepus. 
• logistics...
  • going to need to reposition kaeya for dp. untie both his hands in an earlier chapter and then when someone complains about waiting for knots to go down, have someone say his hands are untied already, might as well chain him up from a hook in the ceiling. then someone complains that they can't use his hands then, so they're like fine move him to the floor and have him lay on his back on top of someone else laying on a platform (the bench?). then whoever's under can take his ass, whoever's on top can take his pussy, someone can straddle his chest and take his mouth, and his hands are still free.
• alpha suggestions
  • zhongli
  • albedo
  • dainsleif
  • scaramouche
  • varka
  • crepus
  • beidou
  • ningguang
  • xiao
  • baizhu
• kink suggestions
  • ass+pussy
  • cockwarming
  • dp
  • dragonfucking
  • geo dildos
  • aphrodisiac / cockslut
  • breathplay
  • overstim
  • begging
  • medical examination
  • ovipos
• endgame votes
  • diluc: 1.3
  • childe
  • zhongli: 1.8
  • dainsleif: 1.5
  • albedo
  • all of the above, fuck biology. let kaeya become the most powerful, spoiled mother in the history of teyvat: 3.3
• fluffy harem sequel
  • 6-way joint custody over kaeya's kids. crepus is delighted to have 5 absurdly rich and powerful son-in-laws and buys them all houses next to each other, to diluc's chagrin, although most of them can't really stay there the majority of the time as they have shit to do in other places. the kids grow up together, bonding quickly and always getting in various messes, and the alpha fathers blame each others' genes when one of them gets in trouble. whenever more than one of the fathers is keeping kaeya company under the guise of "spending time with the kids," they just aggressively posture at each other while kaeya cluelessly entertains a child between them. 
  • breastfeeding........
  • one time, when the kids are like teenagers, kaeya gets kidnapped by some evil organization as a hostage (solid idea in theory, terrible in reality) and kaeya's 5 husbands and multiple kids (haven't decided how many lol) just go batshit crazy. the husbands band together but spend too much time screaming at each other to actually get anything done, and eventually the kids are like okay we gotta do this ourselves. ofc being raised by kaeya and other extremely skilled and deadly people, they find their mama in no time, massacre everyone they run into (some of them have too much fun... villains in the making), and return him safely back home. 
  • just love the siblings being really close and super deadly, each one with their own specialty eerily resembling their father's, and kaeya is just like :') those are my kids
  • during holidays when the whole family gets together the alphas get into pissing contests about which of them kaeya likes the best, and the kids just roll their eyes. 
  • ofc each alpha being soft and a good father to their respective kid(s) is also v good

what we are owed cont.

• options
  • cruel diluc comes back and continues hurting kaeya after giving him hope - would like to add smut here but then i'd have to change the rating, so no
  • diluc continues to suffer as he learns what he's done to kaeya. 
    • old diluc comes back and suffers - several people asked for this but i don't know how to characterize an old diluc who's remorseful.
    • he asks albedo to break the bond but that just makes kaeya have another breakdown (is diluc tired of him? is he not enough? he can be better, just please don't leave, not again) so they scrap that idea. 
  • happy ending where kaeya confesses again but diluc takes it well this time bc this time he has a clearer head, knows kaeya is being honest about his love, and has seen what kind of monster he himself can become and doesn't want to
• maybe a chapter of more suffering with the bond breaking idea? jean had tried to break it before but needed the consent of both parties and both of them said no, but now diluc is willing to do it for kaeya's sake.
  • expand the first part (diluc asking jean why she didn't do anything) and keep the next few parts but cut before the letter. add in the bond breaking.
  • if i write that out i really can't see a natural progression to the sad ending though. what kind of depressing fic would that be
  • so go to the happy ending?
  • as a compromise maybe i can write another fic set before diluc lost his memories that expands on what kaeya was talking about when he said diluc likes to toy with him. that could be hot...
• prob need to add a better implied noncon tag. it's dubious consent with diluc but idk about the other guys fucking kaeya.
• —
• Diluc spends the next few days learning exactly how far he'd fallen. Jean avoids all his attempts to meet with her, Amber refuses to look at him, and Albedo just stares evenly until Diluc leaves. However, there are still people in Mondstadt who seem to like him just as much as they did when he was Mondstadt's shining Cavalry Captain. He's momentarily relieved until he realizes exactly why they like him.
• "If you ask me," the old man living two houses behind Cat's Tail says, "Mondstadt is becoming too free, with all these omegas running around doing whatever they want, not knowing their place. It's good that there are still young alphas like you." He pats Diluc on the shoulder and Diluc grimaces.
• Then when Diluc stops by Angel's Share to try to find his father, he overhears two knights talking.
• "Really? He wouldn't care?"
• "He literally walked in on me balls-deep inside the bitch and just told me to wait until he took his turn. Trust me, he doesn't care. In fact, it's best right after he goes; you just have to make sure the Acting Grand Master doesn't see you."
• "Alright, it's just... I really need to get laid, man."
• "I know, I know. I'll introduce you to my sister's friend when she comes to visit, don't worry. For now, why not blow some steam with the city whore?"
• Their laughter rings through Diluc's ears.
• "To the Cavalry Captain!" One of them raises his mug in a mock toast.
• The other one guffaws and lifts his mug as well. "And to the generous Master Diluc!"
• As he pieces together their conversation, Diluc realizes he's shaking.
• —
• Things don't get better from there. When he runs into Klee, now apparently old enough to wander the forests alone, she sees him and sucks in a breath.
• "Hello," Diluc says as kindly as he can manage. He's not really great with kids, but Barbatos knows he's terrified enough people in one day.
• Klee furrows her eyebrows. "You're Kaeya's mean alpha."
• Diluc swallows the lump in his throat. "I'm sorry about being mean," he says. An understatement. He sits down on the grass and tries to look gentle. "Will you tell me about Kaeya?"
• Klee beams and hops in front of him. "Kaeya is the best! He gives me treats when Albedo's not looking and always helps me cover it up when I make a big disaster!"
• Diluc almost smiles. That's what Kaeya had done for Diluc, too, through their whole childhood and even through their ascension as knights. He'd never once complained about staying in Diluc's shadow.
• "That sounds like him," he says to Klee, who frowns.
• "You won't get him in trouble, will you? I don't want to make Kaeya more sad."
• "More sad?"
• "He's sad all the time," Klee says, now looking down. "He keeps laughing and smiling but one time when he was staying with me during a storm he told me he's very sad."
• "And why is that?" Diluc croaks.
• "He misses his alpha," she says, and Diluc feels like he's been pierced through the chest. "He said his alpha is very kind and brave, like a hero. But Kaeya did something bad, and Evil Cannot Go Unpunished." She says the last phrase like she's reciting it, and then she frowns at him. "Everyone says you're his alpha now, but you're mean to Kaeya. One day I'll find Kaeya's real alpha and bring him here! He'll love Kaeya back!"
• "Oh, Klee," Diluc says brokenly, and she looks defiantly back at him.
• —
• When he returns to the winery, exhausted, he learns that his servants still speak cordially to him. He also learns that his father is dead, and his whole world drops through the floor.
• "It was the Fatui," Adelinde tells him. "As far as I am aware, Sir Kaeya had nothing to do with it."
• "Of course he didn't," Diluc says helplessly. 
• Adelinde nods. "Well, we weren't sure what you thought."
• "You thought I blamed Kaeya?"
• "Master Diluc," Adelinde says, and Diluc feels like a child again under her stern gaze. "From our perspective, your father died, you disappeared, and then the next morning Sir Kaeya came home bleeding and barely able to walk, with your claim mark on his neck. You sent word once while you were away, and it was to tell us that Sir Kaeya was not welcome on your property."
• Diluc tries to interrupt but Adelinde fixes him with a look that makes him close his mouth.
• "When you returned to Mondstadt, you promptly began to act like he was the dirt beneath your boots. Master Diluc, you don't even treat the Fatui that harshly."
• —
• In the end, Diluc doesn't have to try to find Jean again; she finds him. It's two days after he woke up in this nightmare, his father dead and his best friend ruined by his own hands. He doesn't remember ever feeling this much hopeless despair in his life. But then again, he doesn't remember a lot. 
• Jean requests to meet in her office.
• "I thought it couldn't get any worse, but you always prove me wrong," she says when he enters, looking haggard and disappointed. "What did you do to Kaeya this time?"
• Diluc has so many questions. He doesn't particularly want any of them answered.
• "I've lost my memory," he says instead. "About five years."
• Jean stares at him. When she's done counting in her head, her eyes widen. "What's the last thing you remember?"
• "My father and I were traveling with a transport fleet. Adelinde told me... what happened after."
• Jean's whole posture crumples and she pulls Diluc in for a hug. He returns it awkwardly, stunned by the sudden affection. It suddenly hits him how starved he is for it.
• "Are you... alright?" he asks.
• Jean lets out a sob at the words and holds him tighter. "I'm so sorry for what you went through," she whispers. "But how I've missed you, my friend."
• —
• Over the next hour, Jean catches him up on what he's missed. She doesn't know a great deal; apparently Diluc hadn't spoken much with anyone since his father's death. What she does know is how he's been treating Kaeya. It makes Diluc's blood boil.
• "Why didn't you try to stop me?" Diluc yells. He knows he's lashing out - no one is to blame but him - but Kaeya's blank expression still haunts him. To think that Kaeya could be shattered into so many pieces, to think that Diluc could shatter him - he's sickened, feels stupidly betrayed, and he needs someone to blame.
• "Of course I did," Jean answers, sounding tired. "I even acted in my official capacity as Acting Grand Master to try to take him away from you." She sighs. "Obviously, it didn't work."
• Diluc puts his head in his hands.
• "Jean!" Amber suddenly bursts through the door and Jean stands up, alert. 
• "What's going on?"
• "Jean, he- Kaeya's hurt. I got him to Barbara but she says it's not looking good and I- I don't know-"
• "I see. Thank you, Outrider, I'll take over from here. Will you take me to where they are?"
• Amber looks relieved and nods, already halfway out the door, and Diluc follows automatically. 
• Jean hesitates at the threshold. "Diluc," she says softly. "It's probably better if... you don't come."
• He looks at her incredulously. "What do you mean 'don't come'? Kaeya could be dying!"
• "And you'd just love to see it yourself, wouldn't you," Amber says venomously.
• "No!" Diluc says, horrified. "What are you saying?"
• Amber rolls her eyes and marches away. Jean hesitates again before following, throwing Diluc a look that means come if you want, but stay silent. 
• —
• Barbara meets them at the door. "I moved him to a cot - he's sleeping now. I healed what injuries I could, but there are really so many," she wrings her hands. "It's... not looking good. All we can do now is hope he wakes up."
• Jean purses her lips at the news but nods. "Thank you, Deaconess, you've worked hard. Why don't you rest a bit now?"
• Barbara smiles tearfully at her sister and nods, gliding away, but not before giving Diluc a curious glance. 
• Diluc frowns at the look, remembering Amber's words. Would the Diluc of this time really not come to see a dying Kaeya? Had his heart turned so cold?
• Jean and Amber enter the room, but Diluc stays dumbly outside. He's childishly scared of seeing Kaeya. What if he enters and Kaeya dies? What if Kaeya wakes up, sees Diluc, and then- then screams, or something?
• He hears Jean and Amber's muffled conversation through the door. 
• "I found him next to a Ruin Hunter and a hilichurl camp," Amber sniffles. "He must've been fighting one when he ran into the other."
• "It's not like him to be this reckless."
• "He hasn't been like this since-" Amber's voice grows bitter. "Since he came back. Why did you let him come with us? You know what that does to Kaeya."
• There's silence for a few seconds before Jean speaks again. "I think... it'll be okay, this time."
• Amber gasps in outrage. "Jean! How could you- you know what he- Jean!"
• "He's lost his memories, Amber. He's not the man you remember."
• "He's still the same man," Amber shouts. "I don't care what memories he has now - if he can hurt Kaeya once, he can do it again! And he has! So many fucking times. Jean," Amber suddenly pleads. "Don't do this to Kaeya."
• Diluc is startled when he suddenly feels pain, looks down and sees that he's clenched his fists tight, nails digging into his palms. He forces his hands to relax and stares. Even his hands look unfamiliar.
• —
• That night, Diluc lays awake in his bed, thoughts in turmoil. Would it be kinder to give Kaeya the mercy of never seeing him again? Or is he just being a coward? He's always been proactive in fixing his wrongdoings before, but the enormity of this wrongdoing hits him as hopeless. 
• Diluc thinks of Kaeya waking up in the cold infirmary, seeing no one, and dying alone.
• He sits up and gets dressed.
• —
• Diluc has been sitting by Kaeya's bedside for four days, ignoring Amber's glares that later soften into confusion as he continues to stay, when Kaeya wakes up. 
• One brilliant blue eye opens and takes Diluc's breath away. Beautiful, he thinks. Thank the Archons you're alive, is his second thought. 
• The eye blinks slowly at him. "Luc?" Kaeya croaks. 
• "I'm here," Diluc says, gripping his hands. "It's me, Kaeya."
• "Luc," Kaeya smiles at him, looking perfectly content. "Love you," he murmurs.
• Diluc jerks so hard his chair scrapes across the floor, but Kaeya has already fallen back asleep.
• —
• The second time he wakes up, Amber is in the room too, and Kaeya sees her first.
• "I fucked up again, didn't I?"
• "Idiot," Amber says, trying not to cry but failing miserably. "You almost died on me again."
• "Sorry, Amber," Kaeya says, looking remorseful. "I know I haven't finished doing your paperwork for you yet."
• Amber flushes red and hisses, "Shut up! I was going to do it this time. I just didn't have time, what with you dying and everything!"
• Kaeya grins and lifts a hand to squeeze hers, a gesture that she returns. Diluc startles at the affection. He didn't know they were that close. 
• His motion catches Kaeya's eye, and when Kaeya turns and registers who he is, his whole face shuts down.
• Diluc stands up abruptly, wanting to make that expression go away, but it just makes Kaeya flinch away. Amber moves between them, glowering at Diluc. 
• "I'll-" Diluc says, feeling pathetic. "I'll leave."
• He does.
• —
• diluc talks to lisa who tells him that it was probably the delusion being destroyed that took his memories. diluc is like oh thank god at least i didn't willingly hurt kaeya, but then lisa is like :/ delusions don't control your mind buddy
• "Jean and I spent months trying to find out if something was controlling you - we asked Kaeya to help too, but he was adamant that you were just giving him what he deserved."
• —
• it's been four months since diluc has seen kaeya when elzer hands him a letter. diluc had thought it best - and really, so did everyone else - if he stayed away. it's been torture for him, being away from his mate, but every time he remembers kaeya's transformation from playful to lifeless, he sits himself back down by the fireplace and continues to brood. 
• diluc opens the letter. it's from kaeya.
• Diluc, it reads. I've been informed by Jean that you wouldn't mind receiving a letter from me, although I doubt it. I'm sending you one anyways because Jean also informs me you are sulking, and that, as you have lost five years of your memory, your last memory of me is still pleasant. If you've actually regained your memory or some recollection of me during the past five years, please do me a favor and burn this letter immediately. Otherwise, allow me to tell you a story.
• The letter tells him his father is dead. He knew that already, of course, but the letter is the first to tell him what really happened. His chest burns with fury and betrayal, and he realizes exactly why he'd quit the Order. He thought he'd already mourned his father again, months ago, but the unadorned truth in Kaeya's letter makes him weep anew. His father, so trusting and faithful, treated like a dirty secret. 
• That explains some portion of Diluc's apparent personality change, but not his attitude towards Kaeya. Diluc wipes his eyes and continues reading.
• Now, about us. I chose possibly the worst time to confess, but understand that it was a bit of a rough night for me, too. You see, I am a Khaenri'ahn spy.
• —
• Kaeya has his head pillowed on his arms when he hears Jean come in the room. "Why did I do that?" he groans. "I can't believe I let you convince me to confess again, like that went so well last time. And yes, I know you're going to say it was my idea, which, fine, it was, but he- he deserves-" Kaeya's voice grows quiet, and then he groans again. "I hate this."
• "Kaeya," a distinctively non-Jean voice says.
• Kaeya's head shoots up and he meets Diluc's eyes. He freezes. 

fluffy luckae d/s

• despite diluc's love of torture as a means of interrogation, sometimes he runs into enemies who don't respond to it as he'd like. sometimes he has to deal with pyro mages, who don't care much about the fire he flings at them, and sometimes he simply encounters someone spectacularly stubborn. diluc despises wasting time, so in the name of efficiency he finds a new means of dragging information out of unwilling enemies: his sweet kaeya. kaeya who will do anything for diluc, who greets everyone with fake charm and a disarming smile but melts open and vulnerable under diluc's touch, who looks back at him with one wide blue eye and hesitates for only a second before diluc brushes a hand over his hair and kaeya sighs blissfully and agrees. 
• diluc is pleased with the results. he's always thought himself to be a possessive man, but knowing that the creature currently whining and bucking up into kaeya's sloppy hole is never seeing the light of day again gives him a strange kind of satisfaction. kaeya is his, in all ways, forever and always - his to love, his to own, his to lend out and use and pull back in at the end of every day. the monster of the day plowing into kaeya's ass might have his beautiful boy trembling and whimpering on its thick cock, but kaeya's bright, teary gaze never leaves diluc, his devotion pure and strong as his ice.
• when diluc signals kaeya to peel himself away, the monster roars and struggles against the bindings, desperate to finish inside his tight, wet hole. kaeya trembles a few feet away, gasping as diluc soothes him in his arms. 
• "tell me what i want to know," diluc repeats to the monster in a measured tone. "and i'll let you finish." his hands roam down kaeya's bare back and squeeze his ass, spreading them for the monster's hungry gaze. kaeya closes his eyes and shudders, kissing and biting at diluc's neck in his own desperation. 
• one rambling monologue later, all its secrets spilled out in exchange for a chance to desecrate one sugar-sweet whore, the monster looks on in horror as diluc raises a hand and burns it to ashes without looking its way. kaeya doesn't look either, doesn't even seem to notice its demise, only arches his back and cries out for his master. 
• "good boy," diluc says lowly, and pushes kaeya to the floor. "my turn."
• —
• wait mobs can't talk?? only abyss mages
• —
• diluc wouldn't admit it - although he's sure kaeya already knows - but these sessions quickly become the highlight of his week, and he finds himself indulging in them more and more often, even when they aren't necessary. cryogunners, for instance, don't hold up well under his pyro, so he usually finds them the easiest skirmisher to interrogate, but the thought of watching kaeya squeal as frost creeps over his legs and traps him on a thick cock is much too tempting, and the next time he's done strapping down an indignant cryogunner in the interrogation room he calls for kaeya. 
• kaeya slinks in and stops wide-eyed at the sight of the fatui. he's - admittedly - very big. "sir?" kaeya asks, looking to diluc. 
• diluc holds his arms out and kaeya flows easily into them, sighing as if he doesn't have another want in the world. diluc smiles fondly at him and strokes his hair. "will you be good for me?"
• kaeya hums in confirmation. when diluc lets him go, kaeya reluctantly pulls away and turns around, eyeing the gunner who stares warily back. he's likely expecting kaeya to stab him or something - after all, this room isn't very subtle in what it's used for - but when kaeya palms the gunner's crotch instead he gasps and bucks up into his hand. 
• diluc smiles slowly, then settles back in a chair and prepares to enjoy the show. 
• —
• kaeya calls diluc's name as he's getting fucked. one mob tells kaeya his own name as an attempt to get kaeya to say that instead but kaeya is like ?? why the hell do i care what ur name is? i'm asking for fatui stronghold locations??? diluc laughs, and the sound makes kaeya light up.
• OHHHH that makes me think of a GREAT AU: instead of canon, which sucks, kaeya told diluc who he was a long time ago and diluc accepted him fully, knowing that kaeya would never betray him. their friendship blurs into a (fluffy d/s) relationship pretty early on. 
  • then crepus dies. diluc and kaeya are equally traumatized and diluc goes to hunt down the fatui, but instead of canon, which SUCKS, he brings kaeya with him. kaeya is so good at this sort of shit - he was the one pulling all the strings in the shadows when they were knights - and also keeps diluc from spiraling in anger. 
  • i want this fic i want this fic
  • power couple, murder boyfriends, soft d/s.............. i want this fic
• subspace is good!! kaeya, usually so mouthy, now content to just hum in answer to diluc's coos. diluc washes him down slowly, tenderly, and kaeya just floats happily. 
• elemental reaction play??
• kaeya's such a whirlwind of an enigma that it's hard to imagine pinning him down in any one place, but he always stills for diluc, stays pliant and obedient as diluc maps his way around his body, humming and moaning in gentle pleasure. he melts for diluc. 
• kaeya puts on his fancy (slutty) clothes like armor. when he has that outfit on, he's mondstadt's charming cavalry captain, ready to take you out for drinks and flatter secrets out of you. he's second to none at getting people to lower their guard, but what they don't know is that his is always up. 
  • with diluc it's down. 
  • when diluc peels off his terribly whorish outfit, piece by piece, kaeya's face opens like a flower. bringing kaeya's walls down is a luxury for diluc and diluc alone, and he revels in it every time. 

abuse

• diluc taking advantage of kaeya's guilt to force him to do things. threatens to never forgive him for his betrayal unless he gets down on his knees, debases himself for diluc's pleasure. and kaeya is so desperate to have him back, to be back in his favor, that he does so willingly.
• lots of yummy abuse opportunities. maybe diluc has forgiven kaeya long ago but still holds it over his head bc he has a burning need to control him and own him, the boy who has always - but at the same time, never - been his. or maybe diluc has never really forgiven kaeya, and yet they enter a relationship anyways with one side blissfully happy and the other stewing in resentment. diluc hates kaeya with the same intensity that he needs him, and the nights where he has kaeya splayed vulnerable under him, begging for more of his touch, to be hurt harder, to be punished more, give him the sick satisfaction he needs. kaeya thinks it's all a bedroom kink, just diluc playing out his fantasies, but he doesn't see the hatred in his eyes. one day as they're in bed together, diluc watching kaeya throw his head back with a gasp, he remembers the cold rain the day his father dies and just sees red. when kaeya scrambles at the death grip on his throat and slowly loses consciousness, he first begins to realize that diluc was not the person he'd thought he was. 

stranger

• after diluc returns to mondstadt, mind clearer, he seeks out kaeya to apologize. kaeya is- so different now, diluc realizes with shock, although perhaps he should've seen it coming. he was always reluctant to make himself vulnerable, even as a child abandoned on the roadside, and diluc's response to the first time he laid himself bare must've only cemented that. it twists a knife of deep regret in him. kaeya might have chosen the absolute worst time for a confession of betrayal, but the way diluc had- had lunged for him, had tried to kill him, his brother, his best friend- diluc squeezes his eyes shut. i'm sorry, i'm sorry, he repeats to the kaeya in his mind for three years. i'm sorry, he thinks on the long trip back home. "i'm sorry," he says when he finally sees kaeya again. "i'm so sorry."
• kaeya smiles at him, and diluc is struck by how opaque everything about him feels. where is the connection they used to have, when diluc could read kaeya's mind with just a glance? who is this man in front of him? 
• diluc remembers the wide, terrified blue eye that night, the guilt and sorrow in his voice, the way kaeya had kneeled on the ground and begged diluc to forgive him, trembling, only to be greeted by a white-hot blade, and then he looks at the stranger in front of him now, buttons undone, a roguish smile, the dull light of his eye. walls up so thick no one will never be able to touch him again. 
• "nothing to be sorry for," the stranger says lightly, smiling. "welcome back, master diluc."
• back at dawn winery, diluc stares at the locked door of kaeya's childhood bedroom and realizes that three years ago, he really had killed what was left of his brother. 
• —
• ok i want to write this next part out too but it's really late rn: diluc and kaeya eventually start fucking (again?) bc diluc is in love w kaeya and kaeya has never been able to deny diluc anything, even after swearing to never let him close again. they regularly sleep together and sometimes fight side by side, but they're both hyper aware of that inescapable barrier between them. diluc is reminded of it whenever kaeya flinches away from his sudden movements and then laughs it off, whenever he wakes up in the morning and kaeya has long slipped away, whenever he sees kaeya flirting with anyone and everyone in his tavern. 
• diluc loves kaeya, unconditionally now, but kaeya will never believe in that again. they go through the same motions, make barbs at each other and fight shoulder to shoulder and kiss tenderly in the dark, but kaeya's eye is still guarded when he looks at him, and he will never bare himself again. 

dainsleif

• ahhh just saw some dainsleif fanart where he takes (prince) kaeya back home to khaenri'ah, leaving behind a horrified diluc. thinking about that... kaeya looks at the devotion in dainsleif's eyes, a man from his home country, someone who embraces who he is and will never turn on him, someone with whom he will always belong. behind him is diluc, his sworn brother, the one he knows best in the universe, but also the one who left him in the rain once the gods themselves prevented his murder, who kicked him out of his only home to the streets of a city that had never accepted him. diluc looks regretful now, is screaming for kaeya to come back, but what can kaeya believe anymore? will he trust the one who threw him out at his most vulnerable, who tried to kill him for being honest, or will he go with the one who has been searching steadfastly for him for nearly two decades?
• it's an easy decision, in the end. diluc cries out for him, but kaeya doesn't look back. 
• —
• feel like this could be milked more if there were some scenes of mondstadt in general refusing to accept kaeya so that he never really felt like he belongs. he laughs it off of course but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. 

castling

• childe orchestrates an attack that occupies the darknight hero and then takes advantage of the distraction to slip into kaeya's bed and fuck him while pretending to be diluc
• —
• leave of absence form
• name: childe (tartaglia)
• duration: 1 day
• reason: gonna fuck kaeya alberich
• [tartaglia only] why this will not embarrass the tsaritsa: i swear no one will know anything happened. including kaeya alberich. 
• do you think i'd look good with red hair?
• — 
• The moment Childe lays eyes on Mondstadt's Cavalry Captain, he knows he has to have him, even if only once. Informants warn him that Kaeya is already in a relationship with Diluc Ragnvindr and none have crossed a Ragnvindr and survived, but Childe just smiles at them and says, "Have you forgotten who I am?"
• —
• Orchestrating a disturbance to occupy Mondstadt's Darknight Hero for an evening is nothing for a Fatui Harbinger. Childe watches from a rooftop, one leg propped up and the other swinging, as a poorly disguised Diluc Ragnvindr flies through the night in pursuit of a cloaked figure. The figure will keep Diluc chasing him around Mondstadt for the better part of the night, possibly engage him in combat if it comes to it, and either flee far enough that Diluc gives up, kill Diluc - which Childe highly doubts - or be killed himself. It doesn't matter to Childe. Pawns are pawns; tonight he has his eye on the queen.
• When Diluc is far enough that Childe can no longer see him, he slips down from the roof and strolls leisurely to his destination. It's a shame he can't fight Diluc himself, but when he'd asked for leave, the Tsaritsa herself had looked him in the eye and instructed him not to make trouble. Murdering the Darknight Hero and the richest man in Mondstadt probably counted as trouble. So he can't take out his competition directly, and he prefers his partners conscious and willing (whether or not they know what they have consented to is of no concern to him) so drugging Kaeya is out. That leaves him with his current plan.
• Scaling the wall of the winery, Childe fiddles with the lock of a second-floor window, hears it click, and slips inside. He already has the layout of the winery memorized - infiltration is second nature to him at this point - and easily finds his way to the master bedroom. A framed picture on the wall of the hallway gives him pause: it's a formal portrait of the two masters of the winery, Diluc unsmiling but looking at ease and Kaeya grinning widely, more genuine than Childe is used to from the few lingering glances he's had at the man. It's a touching portrait. Or rather, it would be to someone not on his way to fuck one while pretending to be the other. Childe moves on.
• —
• ok yeah so they fuck. kaeya's on his front and it's dark so he can't see childe, he's used to diluc coming home smelling strange bc he keeps frolicking around as the darknight hero, and he's just sleep-hazed enough that childe's whisper sounds like diluc's.
• kaeya's half-asleep the whole time, murmuring tiredly but still eager for who he thinks is diluc. "you're going to have to do all the work", etc. childe fingers him first bc he wants the Full Experience and kaeya (in between quiet moans) teases him like wow master diluc is oddly patient today. childe is especially taken by his thigh gap, which diluc apparently is as well bc kaeya huffs and is like "i know you're obsessed with my thighs, but fuck me properly you animal." childe obeys, and kaeya enjoys it for a while before he starts to feel like something is wrong. diluc's cock in him is a sensation kaeya is very familiar with, and what's happening right now doesn't quite feel right. he tries to crane his neck around to get a look at diluc but childe just gently holds him down with a gloved hand and, taking a wild guess, murmurs "be good now, kaeya." he's delighted when kaeya relaxes into the sheets again.
• unfortunately for childe he's too engrossed in kaeya's body to register the sound of boots on the stairs and he gets caught bare-assed naked in bed with diluc's lover. the door opens and both childe and kaeya freeze, for different reasons.
• but our dear childe is nothing if not adaptable, and he quickly flips them around, hiding his face behind kaeya's shoulder, and flicks out a knife from his sleeve and presses it against kaeya's neck.
• in for a penny, in for a pound. kaeya's terrified clenching does make it hard for childe to keep a clear head, but he's not the eleventh harbinger for nothing. holding someone hostage while having an orgasm isn't even in the top 10 most difficult things he's done.
• afterwards, he keeps his hold on kaeya as he inches towards the window (fly still open lmao). diluc is shaking in rage but helpless. then he jumps out the window and runs. diluc jumps out behind him, flinging pyro mindlessly, but childe slips away easily.
• when he arrives back in snezhnaya he laughs and laughs. he hasn't quite kept his promise of keeping both kaeya and diluc unaware, but they don't know it was him, and that's good enough.

uncrowned king

• The night King Crepus is assassinated and Mondstadt is thrown into chaos, the crown prince and his shadow go missing. Most mark them down for dead, felled if not by the assassin then by the red-eyed beasts in the forest. In truth, Prince Diluc is busy prowling through the dark for his father's enemies, with his ever loyal shadow by his side.
• —
• i want this fic to be us against the world, and i want diluc and kaeya to basically be able to read each other's minds, except when it comes to their mutual pining!
• love royalty AUs and kaeya as diluc's right hand... if i could actually write a full-fledged fic this would be a slow burn with lots of mutual pining, a cool mysterious subplot, and ofc one very long smut scene after the two of them just barely evade death. then at the end, a royal wedding.....
• —
• Diluc sits on the ground, staring into the campfire. It's nightfall now, and if he glanced up past the trees and to the night sky he'd see a spattering of stars, clearer than he could see from the city, but he keeps his unblinking gaze fixed on the fire.
• A rustle behind him makes him jump, ready to summon his claymore, but it's only Kaeya.
• "All clear," Kaeya says. Diluc turns silently back to the fire.
• "We'll have to sleep on the ground today," he continues, cheery as always, but Diluc knows when he's hiding his grief. "But tomorrow we can go hunting and skin a bear or something."
• "Are there even bears in this forest?" Diluc asks dully. He doesn't care either way, but talking with Kaeya grounds him.
• Kaeya shrugs. "A really big wolf would do just as well."
• When Diluc stays silent, Kaeya sighs and sits down next to him, facing the fire. He ventures a hand out and Diluc grasps it automatically, finding comfort in the familiarity of Kaeya's slender fingers and the calluses on his palms. In the midst of this hellish night when everything has been turned upside down, Kaeya is still, as always, his one steady truth.
• Diluc thinks about a scarce few hours ago, when he found his father sprawled on the floor, eyes wide and blood trickling out of his open mouth, a hooded figure standing over him. Diluc had frozen in shock, years of training gone in an instance, just staring at his father's blank eyes. Then the figure lunged at him with the same bloody dagger he'd just pulled out of Crepus' stomach, and Diluc knows he would've met the same fate as his father had Kaeya not appeared in that moment. Quickly, Kaeya disarms the assassin and slits his throat perfunctorily before turning to Diluc, scanning him for injuries and saying hurriedly, "We need to get out. There are more of them - two just ambushed me in my bedroom. I don't know how many others there are. Diluc. Diluc!"
• Diluc snaps his gaze to Kaeya, still failing to process anything. Kaeya steps forward and holds Diluc's face in his hands. Kaeya's eye... is so blue. "Luc, listen to me."
• Diluc blinks and listens.
• "We need to leave. Now."
• "But... Father..."
• "Diluc," Kaeya says, blinking rapidly. "He's dead."
• "No, no, he can't-"
• "There they are!"
• More figures dressed in black appear at the door, too many for them to fight, and Kaeya swears and moves in front of Diluc. "Throw a chair through the window and jump out," he says urgently. "I'll follow you."
• Still in shock, Diluc simply stares as Kaeya rushes towards the figures, sword in one hand and dagger in the other. It's not until Kaeya hisses when a knife glances past his side that Diluc finally jolts into motion. When he gets a foot through the window, uncaring of the broken glass, he calls, "Kaeya!"
• "Go first," Kaeya shouts, voice strained, dancing between blades.
• Diluc grits his teeth and turns away, launching himself out the window. Arguing would have done no good; Kaeya is beyond unreasonable when Diluc's safety is in question. He rolls as he hits the ground and then scrambles back just in time for Kaeya to land beside him, wincing and clutching at his side.
• Diluc takes his hand and runs.
• —
• When Diluc wakes up the next morning, Kaeya is roasting meat over the fire. His eyes are tinged red but he smiles when he sees Diluc.
• Diluc frowns back. "You shouldn't be moving so much already."
• "It's fine," Kaeya says dismissively. "It was a shallow wound."
• Diluc narrows his eyes but Kaeya seems to be telling the truth this time, so he lets it slide, sitting up and letting his eyes adjust to the sunshine. The morning forest air is crisp, more so than it is in the city, and the joyful songs of birds in the trees above almost make the previous night fade out like a hazy nightmare. Almost.
• As Kaeya passes a portion to Diluc and hides a smile at his grimace - Diluc hates the taste of rabbit - he says, "It's about a two day trip to one of my informants. By the time we get there she'll know whether everyone in the castle is safe and what else is going on."
• "Can we trust her?" Diluc asks.
• "She's the one I trust most out of my informants - I can't think of any reason she'd betray us. But if you want, I can go alone."
• Kaeya already knows Diluc's response. "No," Diluc says anyways, curtly.
• Kaeya smiles. "As His Highness orders."
• Diluc blinks as it registers that his title should really be "His Majesty" now that he is technically king. A glance at Kaeya confirms that he'd made the mistake on purpose in order to keep things familiar and lead Diluc's thoughts away from last night, but now he winces, realizing he'd drawn attention to it anyways.
• "Sorry."
• "It's okay," Diluc answers, because it is. Not the whole assassination and accidental kingship affair, but Kaeya is always okay. "I suppose I'm king now," he tries to say lightly, but it falls flat.
• Kaeya surprises him by shifting from his crossed-legged position to kneeling on one knee. He puts one hand on his sword and the other over his chest. As Diluc's heart begins to pound, Kaeya says, "I swear my life and soul to my lord, my king, and my best friend." He says the last part with a twinkle in his eye, and then his voice turns soft. "May I serve a thousand lives by your side."
• —
• various ideas
  • khaenri'ah is behind the assassination - they want mondstadt's throne for themselves to resurrect themselves out of being a dead kingdom. eroch (crepus' advisor) is their puppet. diluc and kaeya don't find any of this out until pretty late.
  • diluc and kaeya know that kaeya is from khaenri'ah bc of his visible eye but kaeya doesn't have any memories of his time there. he's actually a sleeper agent (but doesn't know it) and gets activated upon a ritual chant while touching his eye. when assassins were sent into the palace that day to kill crepus, they were also sent to activate kaeya in order for him to personally kill diluc but weren't expecting kaeya to kill them so quickly.
  • i want a scene where kaeya is being tortured to try to get diluc to give up some info. it's like SUPER important info that would put all of diluc's loved ones in danger so he really can't tell them. kaeya, as he's tortured, continues to try to reassure diluc and tell him not to say anything.
  • i want a scene where kaeya tries to kill himself to save diluc...
  • when kaeya was being trained to become diluc's shadow, he was warned that if diluc became too attached to him then kaeya would become a liability. he wasn't able to stop diluc from becoming too attached to him (or rather, he was too selfish to), but he's vowed to never become a liability for diluc. in that scene where kaeya is getting tortured in front of diluc, he mourns his first failure.
  • khaenri'ah HATES diluc for some reason i haven't thought of yet. diluc doesn't get why bc he feels like the things he's done (idk what he can do as a prince lol) haven't met much resistance, but that's really bc kaeya has been pulling strings in the background to make sure everything goes smoothly. diluc has a general idea of what kaeya does but not the extent. when kaeya finds out the assassination plot was an indirect consequence of something diluc had done, he berates himself for failing to handle it flawlessly.
  • when diluc isn't frozen in shock, he's actually the better fighter between the two of them. kaeya's specialty is moving in the shadows, collecting info and influencing people (ofc he can still fight, and diluc is still a pro at interrogation). a power couple!
• plot
  • kaeya's informant elena is shocked to see them but ushers them in quickly, giving kaeya a kiss on the cheek that diluc is confusingly upset about. she gives them an update: eroch has generally stabilized the situation and sent out search parties for diluc and kaeya. all their friends - jean, lisa, amber, etc are all still alive and well. the assassins have been found and are being interrogated, and eroch says that they're fatui.
  • diluc is like oh thank god. now let's go back. but kaeya is like no something feels wrong, i don't think it's safe yet. one assassin who came into kaeya's room was dressed differently from the other two - in robes that looked like a sorceror's and an insignia that looked like [kaeya draws it], which isn't anything he's seen on fatui before (elena says she'll do some digging for what the symbol is). ofc this could just be to throw them all off, but if there's even the slightest chance that the castle is unsafe then kaeya won't risk it.
  • when they finish talking to elena she lets them sleep there for the night, and diluc, still jealous (and he doesn't know why), asks kaeya why he trusts her the most. kaeya just says some random offhand thing (she was just most convenient since she lives near the border of mondstadt, where they're less likely to be spotted) but the real reason is that she's one of the only informants who he's never had to sleep with for info. she's one of the safe ones.
  • when they choose beds, they keep fighting over who's closer to the door, bc they're both trying to protect each other. in the middle of the night, diluc says "kaeya?" and kaeya immediately answers. diluc doesn't say anything else bc he's embarrassed, but kaeya understands - diluc misses his dad - and pushes his bedroll closer so they can hold hands. it's how they used to sleep as children, before kaeya started training as diluc's shadow and when he still went to diluc when he had nightmares. some confused feelings here.
  • in the morning they move onto kaeya's next informant, ian, who's luckily less than a day's journey away (even so, ian exclaims that it's been a while since he's seen kaeya in person, and kaeya gives a smile that only diluc notices is slightly strained). ian also hasn't seen the symbol either, but promises to keep looking. 
  • privately, kaeya thinks about how weird it feels to bring diluc along for these rounds. he'd always been careful before to hide his dirty work in the shadows, where he belongs, but this time he doesn't really have a choice.
  • when they're on their way to the next informant, who's a bit farther away (diluc wonders just how many people kaeya has across mondstadt who are so loyal to him, and who diluc didn't know about, and feels immensely jealous. for some reason), a member of the search party spots them ("prince diluc!"). diluc isn't very suspicious at first but kaeya stiffens beside him so he stays on guard too. the dude is like we all thought you were dead! it's so good to see you, prince diluc, let's get you back to the castle. everyone is so worried.
  • on a whim, kaeya draws his sword and lunges at the man, who immediately dodges and pulls out his own dagger. and then he realizes kaeya was just testing him and that he's blown his cover. they kill him. then they dig through his clothes and find the same insignia kaeya saw. but why was he in the search party? diluc points out they don't actually know that he is, and then kaeya is like yeah, plus even if he is, he could've been a secret traitor. (the truth is that he is - eroch has sent khaenri'ah agents as the search party bc he's worried that kaeya knows the truth and wants to kill both of them asap before they get the word out.)
  • when they reach the next informant, kaeya insists on going alone, in case this person has turned traitor. diluc is like um no?? so kaeya sneaks out during the night to go by himself. diluc wakes up and kaeya is gone. he's left a note directing diluc to go back to elena if kaeya hasn't returned by sunrise. it's past sunrise. obviously diluc will not go back to elena. he doesn't know where the informant is (and kaeya has covered his prints), but they can't be far if kaeya planned to return by sunrise.
  • he knows he's found the house when he sees two cloaked figures huddled by the back door, one of whom is wearing the insignia, looking like they're waiting for the right time to go in. he disposes of both of them quickly and bangs on the door, yelling for kaeya. when he kicks down the door, the informant is holding kaeya hostage with a knife to his neck. diluc goes red but kaeya saves himself easily - he will never allow himself to become a liability - and then more bad guys come in through the front door, alerted by the shouts.
  • anyways, fight scene here. nearly dying. adrenaline! and then smut scene. regret afterwards. confusion for both of them. either way, they still have to stick together (they now have confirmation that eroch is a traitor and the search party is a front, but they still don't know what the insignias are) so they make up as best as they can.
  • onto the next informant. diluc absolutely refuses to let kaeya go alone anymore (nearly threatens sleeping on TOP of kaeya but then he realizes what it sounds like and goes red).
  • yeah ok i hate this F
• —
• Diluc laughs through his tears. His father is dead, Mondstadt is without a ruler, and he still doesn't know whether the rest of his loved ones are alive, but Kaeya looks at him steadily, unconditionally loyal, and he breathes.
• —
• kaeya blames himself for crepus' death. what did crepus take care of him for, if kaeya couldn't even save him?
• —
• kaeya's the type to bottle up all his emotions - even if it wasn't in his nature, which it is, he needs to hold it together for diluc. they can't both freeze up.
• —
• kaeya tries to keep diluc unaware of the things he has to do for him. the world is not so generous a place as diluc thinks, and kaeya often finds himself on his knees for guards, informants, even enemies. he will do anything to keep diluc safe.
• —
• kaeya actually is a khaenri'ahn spy, but even he doesn't know. khaenri'ah watches through his eye (through the eyepatch as well). diluc and kaeya can't fucking figure out how their enemies are always one step ahead of them until one day they are apprehended by a khaenri'ahn agent who taunts that kaeya is an accidental traitor to diluc. kaeya puts the pieces together, horrified, and when the khaenri'ahn agent laughs and is just about to say the trigger word(?) to make kaeya kill diluc with his own hands, kaeya pulls out his hidden dagger and stabs himself in the heart. then diluc maneuvers himself out of his bindings using Anger and the Power of Love (maybe using fire?? like only royalty have magic and this is the first time diluc has manifested his) and kills the agent (an abyss mage??). he runs to kaeya, screaming and pleading with him to stay awake, holding his bleeding body (kaeya laughs, coughing blood, and says "what a cliche death"). then, with the last of his breath gone, kaeya mouths to diluc that he loves him.
• THEN BARBARA EX MACHINA
• —
• kaeya is actually a khaenri'ahn prince - even he didn't know until their search for truth brought them to an abandoned, empty hut that once belonged to a man named dainsleif. 
• idk i actually don't like this bc i want them to stay together and governing two different nations makes that kinda difficult

crowned king

• everyone in the kingdom of mondstadt loves their leader. king diluc is generous and courageous, and under his rule the nation prospers. for the few who aren't fond of him, and seek to hurt him, the king's shadow ensures a swift end. 
• —
• king diluc is a legend in mondstadt. every tavern is filled with songs praising his bravery, every young knight-to-be devours tales of his battles, and every mother tells her children bedtime stories about his kindness.
• but there is another legend in mondstadt, too, the smiling old men and the crooks will tell you. if you ever seek to hurt the people of mond, the king's shadow will find you, and he will not be merciful. 

misc

• the people of mond think that both crepus and kaeya died that day, but they're wrong - that's only what they're meant to think. crepus alone died, and diluc is just making sure kaeya pays for his sins. 
• kaeya is gifted to diluc as part of a negotiation between mondstadt and khaenri'ah
• diluc uses kaeya to get information from competitors. he brings him as his plus one to fancy events, diluc a polite but stoic presence and kaeya a sly, scantily-dressed flirt. he's never met a single person who wasn't immediately and obviously attracted to kaeya. depending on how much info they need, diluc might excuse himself to the restroom, return home early for an "emergency," or use some other excuse that leaves kaeya alone with the target. often they are more than eager to get their hands on their competitor's arm-candy, especially one who's interested back. they have a quick tumble in the hallway, or bathroom, or private suite, kaeya performing so beautifully while diluc listens from the hidden microphone. diluc wouldn't admit it, but these schemes aren't purely for business - in fact, he enjoys them. immensely. kaeya knows, of course, but he doesn't call him out, just moans louder under the touch of the target's rough hands, cries out "yes" and "so good" and "harder," knowing that his husband is hearing every sound.
  • when kaeya arrives home, diluc is waiting at the door. kaeya is almost always a wreck by that point - legs trembling, clothes askew, utterly ruined by a stranger.
  • just how diluc likes him. 
• no estrangement au where diluc and kaeya are still as close as ever, and diluc thinks kaeya can literally do no wrong. it frustrates the hell out of jean, who's constantly trying to reel kaeya in from causing chaos throughout teyvat, and amuses the hell out of lisa, who is very familiar how much wrong kaeya definitely does and finds the discrepancy between diluc's image of kaeya and the real person endlessly hilarious.
  • "i'm a khaenri'ahn spy," kaeya says, looking down.
  • diluc stares at him. "well, yes."
  • "...what?"
  • "i know."
  • —
  • maybe kaeya told diluc when they were children after he woke up from a nightmare, cries to diluc about the burden on his shoulders and how he never wants to hurt diluc or crepus. diluc ofc reassures him that he will still always love him no matter what and kaeya falls back asleep. when they wake up in the morning diluc doesn't mention it, assuming that kaeya doesn't want the reminder, and kaeya is like oh i guess i must've imagined it, and then continues living in guilt.
• kaeya is too needy. diluc teaches him a lesson :")
• diluc gets turned into a wolf bc of some accident and is, to everyone's surprise, extremely possessive of kaeya. and his way of staking his claim on kaeya is apparently fucking him in front of everyone and then pissing on him. (this was just an excuse for watersports)
• modern au detectives diluc and kaeya go undercover in a club to find some info. diluc watches mutinously as kaeya flirts with every living being in the room, getting pushed up against walls, being lead into bathrooms, moaning exaggeratingly with his leg around some stranger's hip. 
• kaeya gets cursed into an endless sleep (meteorites??) and the only way to cure him is for the person he loves most to speak to him and coax him out. all of mondstadt is running around like headless chickens to find this person - it's not jean, not albedo, not even klee. finally, jean approaches diluc. diluc agrees, knowing that if nothing had worked so far then the mystery person was probably him. he feels his chest grow tight at the realization that even after he'd abandoned kaeya, kaeya still held him treasured in his heart. jean brings diluc to kaeya's bedside and diluc takes a seat and says, "kaeya."
  • he doesn't wake up. 
  • the person kaeya loves the most... is not diluc. 
  • it ends up being some rando - childe or something idk - who kaeya had been seeing in secret. but yeah the important part is diluc realizing he's no longer kaeya's favorite person. he cut kaeya out of his life long ago, but he didn't expect it to hurt so much when kaeya finally accepted it. 
• the horse one
  • kaeya wasn't made cavalry captain only for his combat skills and intelligence network. 
  • he's also really good with horses.
  • yeah it's horsefucking
• diluc fucks shota!kaeya yeah
  • diluc never understood daddy kink until shota!kaeya crawled in his lap and called him gege
  • tai se le...
• i feel like kaeya and childe would make for a really good "us against the world" fic. childe is sick of the tsaritsa always using him for her own gain, kaeya is sick of mondstadt turning against him again and again, and the two decide to just say fuck it and run away together. to distant lands, rural farms, where the people there have never even heard of fatui harbingers and cavalry captains. the people there are boisterous and welcoming, the sun is warm and the grass is lush, and they live a peaceful life there, deliriously happy, with each other. 
• idea from viii
  • "but your brother is indeed rex lapis' mate. you cannot stop me from taking what is mine."
  • diluc looks furious. "that doesn't mean you can fuck him as a dragon! you have two dicks the size of his thigh - you'll tear him in half!"
  • "oh?" zhongli smiles. "then perhaps you have a better idea?"
  • diluc is silent for a moment, before he says, through clenched teeth, "me, too."
  • zhongli feels his mouth water. "what's that?"
  • "you can take me, too." diluc looks away, struggling to maintain his anger as red spots appear on his cheeks. "if it'll keep you from breaking kaeya, you can fuck both of us together."
  • [luckae making out while zhongli fucks them 👍]
• mondstadt loves kaeya
  • when diluc returns to mondstadt, he is furious to see kaeya still there - and as cavalry captain, no less. he uses all his old connections and newly-required resources to force him out of the city. then, for the very first time, mondstadt turns on diluc. 
  • —
  • "he was a spy," diluc says calmly, having expected some kind of uproar. although... there are more people here than he'd have thought. 
  • "whoever told you that must've been fucked in the head," an elderly woman says. "that man spent three hours helping me pick flowers after my husband died. spy, my wrinkled ass."
  • "captain kaeya rushed into a burning house to rescue my child," a man says, holding his baby close.
  • "he ran in front of a monster that was going to kill me!" a child yells. "kaeya almost died! the deaconess said he didn't wake up for three days!"
  • "if that's how a spy takes care of mondstadt's people," the outrider knight says defiantly, "then maybe we should have more of them."
  • diluc is about to speak when a man cuts in loudly. "what have you done for mondstadt now, hey? you fuck off for three years while captain kaeya looks after us and then come back and kick him out? you don't even live here!"
  • the crowd agrees raucously with him, and diluc starts to feel bewildered. has kaeya somehow tricked the entirety of mondstadt? it seems he's even bigger of a threat than diluc had thought. 
  • well, it's a good thing mondstadt has diluc again. it's time for him to finish what he started three years ago but never completed: neutralizing the threat. 
  • —
  • [alternatively someone else comes in intent on ruining kaeya's life for some reason and exposes him, and everyone in mond, including diluc, rushes to his defense.]
• when kaeya confesses diluc kills him and then is horrified. then cries as he fucks his corpse!
  • In one version of this night, he kills Kaeya. In another version, he fucks him. In this version, he kills Kaeya and then fucks him. While crying.
• kaeya and beidou actually get along really well. the first time they met they flirted aggressively at each other until they both realized oh hey you're me and then became best friends
• some healing luckae d/s would be nice, where kaeya is falling apart and diluc gently puts him under and pieces him back together, but the only scenario i can think of where kaeya falls apart is diluc's fault lmao.