Chapter Text
CN This fiction will include description of violence, death, Chapters dealing with the 10-0 Incident will include description of madness, hallucinations and in a sense intra familial violence, parental abandonment, patricide, filicide, trauma reaction, addiction and other bad coping skills, panic attack, some very short sections of suicidal ideation and symptoms of Alcohol withdrawal.
well, symptoms you might expect from the survivor of a massive traumatic catastrophe, who then became child soldiers and likely had zero professional help dealing with it, just fellow broken people and friends they made over the years.
The fic will also describe some character specific experiences of gender dysphoria, depersonalisation, depression, character specific description of how the character experiences and describes their own gender.
How the Zariman incident might have influenced that self perception, because of the artificial inhumanity of the void. What do you do if your self already is taboo, marked as other and then you become a real danger to others, not just a boogieman that could theoretically be made responsible for the crimes of others but someone who can shoot a giant laser out of their hand..
and well the character learns some things about themselves, thus kink.
Human sexuality always had interesting facets and consensual sadomasochism is a pretty good documented thing some people just have.
Like I just read about the first documented depiction of a flogging for peoples. ahem, enjoyment dated 500 before common era, in an etruscan tomb(rare, greeks were more cool with sexy images)
The pictures, from the Tomb of the whipping (archeologists only have fantasy in finding explanation for why queer people cannot be..
(Looking at you, translators of Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnums tombs)
So the paintings depict anext to some people getting it on including whip and spanking, the context likely a dyonisan cult (We stan Eleutherios here, liberator of toxic shame and self limiting inhibition. Sorry but he's sorely needed in a lot of countries where people do naughty stuff and then their shame and self hate makes them harm others for it. Not cool)
A pity that the abuse and stalk fic 50 shades made the topic better known.
I mean the gray guy wasn't supposed to be a villain, right? Regor is one.
He seems to have fun fighting (maybe another authors Tyl likes getting beaten, as often as that has happened ;)
So I found it not that far fetched that hurting people could be fun to him. And hurting someone who has found, to their confusion, that they enjoy getting hurt, could be a great pairing. Very practical.
I write confusion because I know too many people who were deeply ashamed of their own desires, felt they were alone, disgusting, broken.
I'm very thankful I never was. I have seen what that can do to people, how it can poison everything.
Just for having fantasies about playing with adults. like they hadn't done anything. just fantasised.
Being into kink might be rare but it's not evil or bad.
The central tenet is consent, respect and care for the partner.
I dunno if the Tenno has a kink group where people can get, be told they aren't defective and learn how to do kink safely, find out their own do's&donts etc
Doesn't need to include pain at all, or physical strength. Trust, care, love, respect.
This fic tho. Yeah MC is a masochist Must be for running kavor defector that often.
Oh, BTW
The Answer to the question "Am I the only person who" Is very, very, very, very likely no..
I will mark the chapters including the explicit sex stuff with an [E] Or this ⚠️ symbol. But the whole thing runs through the later chapters, the MC acknowledging they enjoyed it and circumstances and Apostasy prologue influence some things that my version of Tyl is surprisingly well equipped for dealing with. Kink will include impact play, the usual humiliation Tyl tries in game (Call me maggot all night long, but let's have dinner first, safeword is Pobber lol) and well I'll see what I can come up with. As soon as the revised chapters are posted I put tags, please remind me should I forget. because of this Letter /preface and how I number the interludes, the Chapter nunbering is shifted. Interludes aren't really chapters, I'll number in roman numerals, The title below the notes counts. . text formatting will likely change in the future as soon as I learn how to do what I want it to do (Summary, notes in boxes, spacing. I type on phone which makes this so much more work :/
'"'.,. '"'.,. '"'.,. '"'.,. '"'.,. '"'.,. '"'.,. '"'.,. '"'. ,. '"'.,. '"'.,. '"'
Of course there's fantasy, people do have to talk about their feelings and desires but ofc in fiction its easier to decide people compatible..
This universe has easy cloning, warframes and more, thus it will have developed a medication that will help downregulate the MEOS system as well as other signs of addiction, thus it will be easier. That's what fiction is for. dealing with things, great and very much not great.
If you suffer from addiction please, don't be ashamed. Don't hate yourself for relapsing. It's a symptom.
Addiction is a really bad sickness, that, yeah we have a part in acquiring (like some type of cancer or other sicknesses. there's enough illnesses that are the result of, at least partially ones own bad decisions)
But its very hard to get out and because shame is always sitting in the back of your mind, not asking for help is hard. Especially in a world that judges fast, often based on the worst cases behaving badly.
Sometimes a bad decision still is the best we can make.
But its never weakness to ask for help.
It can get better. (You don't need a dom_e :P)
But having someone who cares for you can be helpful if you, like many struggle to be good to yourself for yourself.
Having people you can tell when you feel weak and who told you they're willing to help.
But know, change is possible. It's hard. it's boring, really, but its possible...
Please y'all, be good to each other. Tell the people you love that you love them.
try to care for yourself enough to do, what the Tenno had to.
Cutting off their biologic family before it irreparably damaged them.
just a biiiit more drastically. Use words pls, no swords.
Luckily we aren't stranded on a ship stranded in the howling void.
People are there, even if it might feel like you are alone.
I want to thank you for reading this, I never published anything before, it's not my native language.
really, thanks for reading.
I wish y'all enough fulfilment of your wishes enough for happiness, but not so much you don't have anything to strive for.
A.