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He just doesn’t know what to do.
He’s everywhere. Wherever he looks there’s his curly head, his fucking smile. That smile that makes him weak.
A bloke’s smile is making him weak.
Maybe it’s the stupid clothes they are putting them in that have his head all confused. And his dick apparently.
And there he is again. Saying something in his ear. He doesn’t understand a word. All he knows is that his breath is on his ear and then it’s gone and he is laughing so hard as if it he just told Louis the funniest thing in the world. And maybe it was. Who knows.
He fakes a smile. He can’t let these thoughts get in the way of what they have.
Can a guy be beautiful? Harry is beautiful. Louis just decided that for himself. And he nods absentmindedly. God, he’s going crazy.
He needs to go to bed. Get away from it a bit. Even though he doesn’t really want to at all.
Louis. crawls into his bunk.
So is he gay? Bi? He’s into girls. Like a lot. He loves that they get all this attention from some really decent looking birds.
But then there’s also Harry. Harry who makes his heart just beat a little faster. Who makes him feel a happy feeling whenever he's around.
And he's literally always around.
He’s never really let himself think about the gay thing. It was never really necessary.
Until now. Because he is just anywhere that Louis looks. Everyone’s drawn to him and everything is about him. And normally Louis would be jealous maybe. He always liked to be a bit of a joker and never minded attention but with Harry he just enjoys watching the other boy. Just like everyone he can just sit back and watch him.
He’s so fucking confused. He can’t fancy his band mate. He doesn’t know if the Band will make it big but he has a good feeling about it. They are all having so much fun together. So he can’t just suddenly have feelings for Harry. That would just ruin it all. Right?
Well on the other hand it doesn’t really matter, does it? He can’t act on it anyway. Does he even want to? Does he want do stuff with a guy?
Kind of with Harry he’d like to, yes.
That thought scares him.
But that doesn’t matter either because Harry is so fucking innocent that he’d never even realise.
Oh man. Louis head is hurting. Whenever he let’s himself think about this he is so overwhelmed. He just doesn’t know what to do.
No, of course he knows. He can’t do anything. He’ll just ignore it all. Maybe he’ll explore the whole gay thing sometime. Maybe it’s not about Harry. Maybe his dick is just telling him that he should be looking for guys in general. But then what if people find out. He doesn’t want to do the whole public coming out thing.
Oh man. He’s not even sure he’s gay or bi or whatever and already thinking about doing press after coming out.
He shakes his head. He needs to get to sleep. They have another early call tomorrow. And he’s looking forward to it so much. Another day with the four best guys he could do this with.
He’ll just ignore the Harry thing. It’ll go away. The friendship is enough.
The band is more important.