Chapter Text
Growling as he slams his locker shut, Bakugou Katsuki resigns himself to his fate - patrol with Deku and Shindo it is. He angrily stomps back to the break room, making sure everyone in his sight line knows he’s pissed off as he deepens his scowl.
It‘s his third year internship with Best Jeanist, and he truly doesn’t mind that Deku came, after sorting through their shit in first year they had become almost friends. The problem is Shindo - since he’d decided to stay on at Best Jeanist’s agency during his internship and supervise the new interns. Everyone and their grandmother knows that the useless prick has a crush on Deku, you’d be stupid not to see it and coincidentally, Deku is the only one who doesn’t see it.
Now Bakugou has to spend his time, that he should be using to sharpen his skills and gain experience working as a pro hero, listening to Shindo’s pathetic attempts at flirting and Deku’s even more pathetic, totally oblivious responses.
“Ready Kacchan? I’m so glad we get to work together today” Deku sing songs, as he practically skips over, gazing at him with those gleaming, emerald eyes, that have butterflies fluttering in Katsuki’s gut - he ignores that, scared to look into what it might mean.
“Yeah whatever” He forces his voice to sound as unaffected as possible, which is difficult when you have the personification of sunshine and puppies tugging at your heartstrings. Although, his gruff response has no effect on the other boy, he starts prattling on about his new gear or something... to be honest Katsuki isn’t listening, too focused on the figure moving towards them.
Then Shindo slides in, all arrogant confidence and boyish smirks, he wraps an arm around Deku’s shoulder, pulling him in close.
“You guys ready to set out?”
Something ugly bubbles up in Katsuki’s chest at the sight of someone else touching Deku so casually, they themselves had only just got the point in their friendship where quick touches were a common thing, although Katsuki always let his finger linger against Deku’s arm, like it would be like the last time he ever got to touch his skin.
“Yup!” Is Deku’s bright response, his smile bright and eyes warm as he turns his attention to Shindo.
Fuck, why does it hurt to watch?
Katsuki smothers whatever the fuck is happening in his head, he has a job to do and no dumbass nerd or shitty wannabe Casanova is gonna stop him kicking villain ass. Turning on his foot, he strides out of the agency, letting them scurry after him.
Unsurprisingly, just as he predicted his time patrolling is painfully uneventful, all he does is listen to their incessant chatter and at one point, he had to be subject to watching Shindo have Deku feel his biceps, which if you ask Katsuki are no where near as impressive as his own. It was tough but Katsuki powered through, now the end of their patrol was nearing.
They strolled up the practically empty street, on high alert of any sign of trouble, Katsuki leading with the two losers bringing up the rear. He kicked at a stray stone on the pavement, ‘this sucks’ is all his mind supplies. Not one interesting thing has happened, not one villain has dared to feel Bakugou Katsuki’s wrath.
“.. chan! Kacchan” The sound of Deku’s voice catches his attention. He turns to look at the smaller boy, instantly clamming up when he’s again the recipient of that sunbeam smile.
“We were just saying we three should go out and her ramen after the patrol. I know you like yours spicy and the one to next to the agency has the extra hot chili-“
He can only stare blankly at Deku’s face as the boy rambles on about what type of fucking ramen he likes, hands gesturing widely while Shindo stands to the side, like the extra he is. Everything around Katsuki seems to fade away while he zeros in on the details on Deku’s face, like those adorable freckles or his fluffy green curls that Katsuki wants to run his fingers through. The way Deku talks so passionately about even the smallest things is what Katsuki loves about him-
Loves?
Fucking stop, stupid brain!
There is no way he can love Deku…
Shaking his head, like he’s literally trying to expel his thoughts, he comes back to reality. Where he is faced with Deku, peering at him curiously, obviously waiting on an answer. It feels like Deku is looking straight into his soul and at any moment he’ll know what Katsuki was just thinking about, how would he react? Angry? Disgusted? Even if he did love Deku, why would he ever want Katsuki? The boy who used to make his life a living hell. In a quick moment of panic he lashes out.
“No way! Why would I ever want to go anywhere with you? It’s bad enough being forced to patrol with your nerd-ass slowing me down”
As the words leave his mouth he instantly regrets it, he watches Deku’s face fall and his heart aches in his chest. From the side Shindo makes a low whistling sound.
“Geez, that was harsh” Katsuki doesn’t miss the hint of amusement in his tone. He throws Shindo his deepest scowl, wishing that he would just disappear.
“Oh” Deku huffs dejectedly, rubbing his hands on his arms awkwardly, eyes trained on the ground.
“Deku I-“
“Lets just get head back, shall we?” Shindo cuts him off, as he places himself between the two and Bakugou has to physically turn himself around to stop from blasting that smug motherfucker in the face.
In his mind, he runs through everything his anger management classes had taught him, he figures it’s best to wait until after he cools down and Shindo is gone before he apologises to Deku - not wanting to risk blowing up, literally, and further straining things.
The minute they are back at headquarters, the blond stalks off towards the locker rooms, newfound resolve nearly broken when Shindo smirks at him like the cat that got the cream, Katsuki just grits his teeth and shoves the door open, not caring when it slams against the wall.
“Stupid fucking idiot..... dumbass” He continues spitting expletives to the empty room, not entirely sure if he’s talking about Shindo or himself, he rids himself of his hero costume, shucking off his gauntlets and peeling off his dangerously sweaty tank and his baggy trousers. He forgoes the usual shower he would have and simply pulls back on his U.A. uniform, moving quickly as to avoid running into Deku.
He doesn’t think he can handle seeing those pitiful eyes again, their usual bright light dimmed and knowing he is the cause makes it sting so much worse. Stepping back out onto the street, he closes his eyes in the cool wind that blows over him, his core still simmering with a low anger and he never wants his temper to boil over like that again, he’s not like how he used to be.
It doesn’t take long for him to arrive at the train station, he uses the time journeying back to UA to reflect, there must be a reason seeing Deku so close with other’s irritates him so much, why Katsuki loses all control when Deku is involved. He can see the way other’s interact with the boy so effortlessly, while Kastuki overthinks every word and action, until it spills over like it had today. Now that his anger has subsided, guilt is all that remains and is squeezes at his heart, he will make it up to Deku his mind boasts, he’ll take him out and get the best ramen the nerd has even had in his life.
The train arrives at his stop and he’s filled with a new sense of purpose, he’s gonna be the best damn friend Deku has even had, although the word ‘friend’ doesn’t seem to sit well within him and he doesn’t fully understand why, or want to.
He’s back on school grounds now, already dreading the amount of written work he has on his desk to get through for class tomorrow.
“Welcome, back bro!” Kirishima yells with a wave as Katsuki’s tries to get inside without anyone noticing, well that didn’t work out. He grunts back in affirmation, before trudging by everyone, ignoring the chorus of enthusiastic greetings that follow. The safety and quiet of his dorm room is welcomed, he dumps his a bag and flops back on the bed, sighing into the silence.
He can imagine what Deku’s up to now, sitting with Shindo, laughing and joking over bowls of ramen like it’s the easiest thing in the world, like every interaction doesn’t make their hands clammy and heart skip a beat. Katsuki chastises himself internally, there’s no way he’s gonna let it affect him again. He pushes up and off of the mattress, stripping off his uniform, before pulling on his usual black sweats and vest.
Busying himself, he organises a few things in his room, moving around a few books and clearing away his dirty clothes, giving him some small sense of control. The pile of papers on his desk remains purposefully ignored until he finally caves and gets started on it.
Some amount of time passes before his stomach rumbling pulls him from his laser focused concentration. Stretching his stiff muscles, he vacates his seat and leaves his dorm room, before stalking downstairs nonchalantly. The common room buzzes lowly with activity, people chatting over some reality TV programme a few people had been obsessing over, not that Katsuki had been paying attention.
With a harmless sneer at the people who congratulate him for leaving his room, he enters the kitchen and begins preparing his meal, a healthy curry with a lot of veg and lentils. He uses all the finesse of a professional chef to dices everything up evenly and create a perfect spice blend and it all comes together to make an aromatic curry with plenty of chill for heat, just the way he likes it.
He takes his seat with his back facing the room, making it clear he’s not here for conversation and tucks into his meal, giving himself a mental pat of the back for how good it tastes. During his next mouthful, he’s disturbed by a commotion at the door, all his female classmates squealing and hopping around, he completely blocks it all out like second nature and continues eating, although he can’t stop his ear picking up there words - they’re not being very quiet after all.
“How did it go, Deku?”’
“Yeah, Midoriya, how was it?”
“How far did you get?”
It’s almost subconscious the way Katsuki turns his head, sneaking a peak at Deku’s blushing face, the boy is rambling and stumbling over his words that the girls are forcing out of him, that’s when Katsuki’s brain catches up with the conversation.
“Y- yeah, it went well, he asked me out again”
The girls erupt into even more cheers and prod the poor guy for even more answers. Hold on, that ramen thing was a date? As in romantic?
Katsuki hears his fork hit the bowl before, he knows he’s dropped it, at he sounds of the clatter everyone turns to looks at him, even Deku’s curious eyes and it’s finally too much.
“What? Mind your fucking business!”
He dumps the rest of his food in the trash, his appetite completely ruined, he feels sick at the thought of Shindo slobbering and groping all over Deku, like a wild animal. He has to get out of the common room, it feels like the walls are closing in on him.
“Fuck” He groans when he’s back in his dorm, he sits on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. Whatever feelings are currently wracking through his body, he has to get rid of, he can’t keep losing his shit every time Deku stirs up the strange emotions, that himself Katsuki doesn’t even understand.
Katsuki’s inner turmoil is swiftly interrupted with a knock at his door, he readies himself to blast which ever colossal idiot stupidly decided to follow him.
“What?” He throws the door open with far more aggression than necessary. He’s greeted with sparking green, that flinches at his tone and Katsuki immediately wants to shrivel up and die.
“D- Deku?”
“I... wanted to see if you were alright”
Deku seems so small and unsure of where he stands, obviously afraid of setting off Katsuki’s temper again. This is the perfect opportunity for him to give his apology, he opens the door wider and gestures inside.
No one else has ever stepped foot inside Katsuki’s dorm, and Deku is aware of that as he steps in with trepidation and looks around in wonder as if he’s in a museum exhibit and not just in Katsuki’s overly organised bedroom.
“Listen” Katsuki starts, his eyes trained on the grains of his floorboard, too afraid if he looks Deku in the eyes, he’ll crack and everything he’s holding in will come flooding out. “I’m... sorry for snapping at you earlier”
“Ah Kacchan, you don’t have to apologise, I’m sorry-“
“No!”
He looks up and doesn’t miss the way surprise flashes over Deku’s features at the outburst. Katsuki feels the butterflies in his stomach awaken again with a vengeance and wreck havoc on his emotions.
“You don’t have anything to apologise for, I was the asshole, I’m sorry”
“Oh”
They fall into a silence, that’s more welcome than it is uncomfortable, they now sit side by side on Katsuki’s bed, plenty of space between them, that, somewhere deep in the back of his mind, he wishes wasn’t there.
“Although” Katsuki breaks the peace “If it was a date, why did you invite me anyway”
That once pale, freckled face lights up bright pink, and the boy nearly curls in on himself as he whispers out his excuse.
“I just didn’t want you to feel left out, ok?”
Katsuki can’t help but bark out a laugh, it’s the most Deku thing he’s ever heard. He can hear Deku let out a soft huff.
“Shindo thought I was kidding when I said I would, it’s stupid, I know”
It sounds almost sad the way Deku recounts it, and at the sound of the other’s name Katsuki straightens up.
“It’s not stupid”
“Really?”
“No it is, but I appreciate the sentiment”
Deku flops back onto the bed with an over dramatic sigh and a mumbled ‘so mean’, and Katsuki follows, a familiar silence washing over them.
“Hey Kacchan?” Deku speaks softly after however many minutes have passed, Katsuki hasn’t been keeping track, too content with the silence they’re in.
“Mmm?”
“Have.. you ever been in love?” It catches the blond completely off guard, he instantly freezes up.
“What does it feel like? How did you know?” Deku keeps rambling on, unknowingly driving the blade deeper.
“No, I don’t have time for stupid shit like that”
There’s a slight venom in his voice that’s easy to miss, although he supposes, Izuku, the person he’s known nearly his entire life can probably pick up on it.
“I thought so” Deku murmurs so quietly, it almost goes unheard. When Deku sits up, their eyes catch, emeralds and rubies sparkling with something unsaid - it would almost feel special if they weren’t just discussing Deku’s date with another man.
Their gazes divert, the once comfortable silence now awkward and tense. The thought of Deku being in love with Shindo is something Katsuki doesn’t ever want to think about.
“I should get going”
Katsuki can say nothing as he watches Deku leave, it’s like all the warmth goes with him as he slips out the door and Katsuki is left in the empty cold of his room, his chest feeling empty too. He remains in that spot for the rest of the night as he drifts off into a restless sleep.