Chapter Text
Tuesday. It was finally Tuesday. They were both off work and he had convinced her to have a night in and try their hand at baking bread. Another one of his, ‘it's just something to do together! An easy date but special none-the-less.’ Her eyes had rolled at his comment. Her hands began fiddling, hoping to let out some of the anxiety filling her small form.
After Kagome’s morning shift at the hospital, she sat on her couch, waiting for Hojo to arrive. Her normally lush and wavy hair, frizzing around her head after one too many pulls of her hand. Her large blue eyes looked to the left towards her kitchen, where yeast, bread flour and eggs sat on the counter. She whined in her throat, knowing that they wouldn’t be getting that far.
Kagome continued to wring her hands, stealing glances at the door repeatedly, waiting for what she was sure would be an emotional and taxing evening.
After 11 months and 17 days, she was done. She had tried to steer things differently, tried to suggest different activities or flowers or dates or anything, but there was nothing else to be done. It was time to break-up, and had been for over 4 months now. She realized it after noticing she wasn’t keeping track of months anymore, just grueling, fake-smile filled days. At 25 years old, she felt she had earned the right to a fun relationship where she couldn’t predict every step.
Hojo was kind, caring, compassionate, loving and she was about to destroy him. Break his heart into a million pieces and have to deal with him asking repeated questions about what went wrong. She wanted to like him, she truly truly did but after months of “unique” dates, too many unnecessary flower deliveries, odd medical remedies at the most awkward times, and the most boring predictable sex, Kagome was about to break poor Hojo’s heart.
She was a monster.
It wasn’t like Hojo had done anything wrong per say. It was more that he had done everything to a tee. Nothing was fun, everything predictable she wished for some sort of outlet for her pent up boredom. She had even found a list on Buzzfeed of all the different kinds of interesting dates to take the woman of your dreams and was appalled to see she had been on 27 out of 35 of them. When she had tried to suggest anything other than roses, he had simply smiled and said roses were the only thing grand enough to express his love for her. When they had a picnic outside and she had sneezed after smelling the fresh cut grass, he had sent her some strange balm to put under her nose that he was sure would block any unsightly smells from entering her nose, knowing she was nurse who could get medical advice from actual doctors. He loved her unconditionally, and she thought he was more boring than watching paint dry.
Her self loathing was interrupted by a buzz on her phone indicating someone was downstairs waiting to be let up. She took a deep breath and pressed the button, allowing him entry.
You can do this Kagome. People break up with other people all the time! You’re not the first person to not feel romantically interested. It's only been a year, he’s young enough to fall in love again! He will find his perfect boring rice to go along with his white bread self. You can be direct, you can say no thank you, you can choose to end a relationship, you’re an independent lady. You’re strong willed. You’re -
Her internal monologue was interrupted by a knock on her door and suddenly her pep talk was not helpful in the slightest. Standing from the couch, smoothing non-existent wrinkles from her yellow sundress, she made her way to the front entrance of her apartment, and tried to steady her hands as she opened the door. Hojo smiled brightly from the other end, mercifully holding no flowers. He stepped into her, leaning down to press a kiss against her cheek. Kagome smiled weakly up at him as she moved back to let him in. Hojo had already removed his jacket and was moving towards the living room and into the kitchen.
“Hojo, wait!” Kagome said, slamming the door behind her and turning to try to catch him before he start trying to bake bread, most likely intending to start some sort of flour war, and ending in gentle missionary sex only ever happening in her bedroom. He looked back at her surprised but with soft eyes, and suddenly she wasn’t sure if she could do this anymore. She stared back, trying to force the words to come out of her mouth, but ended up chewing on her bottom lip instead. Hojo’s eyes wandered to her lips and then back to her eyes with a concerned look.
Now or never Kagome! You can do this!
“Can we talk? It’s important.” She cast her eyes to the couch in invitation and Hojo walked over and sat, patting the seat next to him and smiling at her invitingly. Kagome felt the anxiety threaten to overwhelm her as she slowly made her way to the couch, being sure to leave a full cushion of space between them. She sat and stared at her hands for a moment, teeth locked onto her bottom lip, trying to decide how this conversation could possibly end in any positive way.
“What’s wrong Kagome? You look worried. You know you can tell me anything.” Hojo said, gently taking her hand in his.
“I... I don’t think this is working out Hojo. You’re such a lovely guy and you’re so loving and kind but I really don’t feel like I know where my head is. I can’t commit to you when I don’t know what I want from life. I honestly always believed I would love someone like you, but I can’t find it in my heart to want a relationship. Something about the commitment is scaring me and I feel like I can’t move forward” She turned to face the consequences of her actions head on and realized the tears she expected to see weren’t there. Instead, he was still smiling brightly at her.
“Kagome, it's okay to not want to date me.” He explained, rubbing the knuckles of her hand with the pad of his thumb. “You don’t need to make up excuses about why, it's okay just not to want to. I haven’t been feeling the spark for the last couple weeks either if I’m honest.”
What the fuck is a spark? Is this a romance novel?!
Kagome gaped at him like a fish trying to figure out what she wanted from this situation. Wasn’t this the best of a bad situation? He wasn’t upset, no tears and no begging. No snotty noses to comfort and not a stressor in sight. He almost looked relieved.
“No need to pull the ‘it's not you, it's me’ with me Kagome, I'd be just as happy to end this romantic relationship as it seems you are.” He said, pulling his hand away but continuing to smile at her while she tried desperately to wrap her head around the situation. Finally getting her bearings, Kagome looked around the room trying to find something to explain the situation. Was she in the Matrix? Had she been taken? Was she secretly in a Truman Show situation, waiting for Hojo to pull out something as an ad?
Finding nothing out of the sort on her bookshelves or towards the patio in front of her, she looked back to Hojo. “So, you are totally fine if we break up? You’re not upset?” She said, feeling suspicious of his seeming indifference to what she had assumed would be a catastrophic break up.
He released a deep breath and looked up to the ceiling. “I honestly don’t think we would work together. I actually was thinking I would ask your co-worker out. What's her name? Ayuma?”
“It’s Ayumi.” Kagome said emotionlessly, turning to stare through the window in front of her. How did it somehow feel like she was getting dumped rather than dumping? “Do you have her number? I think she and I would work really well together! Would you mind?” Hojo finally looked down from the ceiling at her, smiling eagerly and reaching into his jean pants for his phone. “Uh, sure.” She said, still dazed and pulling her phone out to send Ayumi’s contact to Hojo. Hojo lit up at the ding on his phone and sighed happily. He looked over at her, suddenly seeming out of place on her couch. “I think I’ll head out now Kagome, but thank you for a wonderful year of romance. I will treasure our memories together.”
He leaned over to kiss her cheek softly before standing, heading towards the entrance of her apartment to grab his jacket and slipping it over his shoulders. As he opened the door to step out, he looked over his shoulder to see Kagome still staring off through her window. He turned back to her before the door closed and shouted to her “Don’t let this ruin your chance at love Kagome! You’re a great girl, you’ll find your perfect match!” letting the door close as he left her, still seemingly comatose, on the couch.
Kagome then sat, still staring into the window in front of her, trying to comprehend what had just happened.
Did I just get dumped?
Her first reaction was to run after Hojo and confirm that she had in fact been the one to dump him. It somehow felt worse to think he had been the one to end what she considered the most boring year of her life. She quelled that instinct, feeling her dignity couldn’t remain if he confirmed her suspicion that he was also planning on breaking up with her and when she brought it up he jumped at the chance.
Her second reaction was that she needed to talk to Miroku. He had been dumped enough times to know the signs, he would definitely know who was at fault. She quickly pulled out her phone and sent a frantic text to Miroku.
[To: Pervert Please for the love of god, say you are not in rounds and can call me!!!!!]
She threw the phone down next to her and stood. Pacing in front of her couch waiting for the tell tale sign of a call from Miroku, she started to over think every single aspect of her past relationship. The romantic gestures now seemed forced, the dates just a way for them to have a conversation that couldn’t end, and even the medicine he would give her seemed to be something that was overstocked at his store rather than something to actually help her.
Ass by Big Sean startled her out of her panic and she reached for her phone as the ring tone continued. Fumbling with the phone she was finally able to click the green answer button and promptly put the phone on speaker.
“Miroku! I think I just got dumped. I don’t know what happened, I said what you told me to say and he basically told me he didn’t need fake excuses and he didn’t want to date me either and then asked for Ayumi’s number and left! Did I just get dumped?! I feel like I just got dumped?!” Kagome said, ending her rant at a much higher pitch and volume than she had started.
She heard a sigh on the other end of the line. “We’re gonna wine and bitch tomorrow night. I can’t leave until 4AM and I know you work in the morning. After work, 7PM, I’ll bring the wine. Sounds good?” Miroku said softly, clearly having stepped away from rotation to answer his friend's panicked message.
Kagome took a deep breath in, wanting to continue her rant but knowing her friend had to actually learn how to become a doctor in order to become a doctor. “Fine, tomorrow night. Pick up multiple bottles, we’re going to need them.”
“Three bottles of red wine and popcorn will be waiting for you post shift, my lady” he said with a laugh. Someone called to his name in the background and the line beeped indicated the call had ended.