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“There you go,” Andrew said and stroked Sarah’s hair. “You can eat.”
She looked down at the bowl in front of her, trying not to grimace. Kibble. Again. He only fed her that these days, and only if she finished the whole bowl, and he decided to be nice, was she allowed a few bites of his food to cover the taste.
She bent down to take a bite, careful to keep her hands flat on the floor so she wouldn’t be accused of ‘using her hands’. That was apparently an important rule, frustrating as it was, and as much as she wanted to rebel against Andrew’s rules, she couldn’t handle another punishment. Not today. She could allow herself one day of obedience, just one day without resisting Andrew’s training. Her headache had been growing for days, and by now she had to concentrate to do even simple things like walk straight and listen to what Andrew was telling her.
She had some water between the bites of food, and it dripped onto her clothes from her face. Why couldn’t he at least let her drink from a glass? Having to push her face into a bowl every time she wanted to drink something was embarrassing! Still, she wouldn’t complain, and she especially wouldn’t talk. Just one calm day, and then she would go back to being difficult.
~~
“Sky, come here,” Andrew said after breakfast. It’s Sarah, she thought, but didn’t argue as she stood and went to stand in front of his chair.
She was allowed to walk now, which was nice. Her knees were bruised and sore after being forced to crawl for a week. More than a week, really, but a full week with no breaks.
“Sit,” he said, taking her hand and pulling her to sit on his lap. She was tense at first, but she was so tired, and her head hurt, and she allowed herself to give in and lean against his chest, closing her eyes, just for a minute. “Good girl,” he said, kissing her on the head. Normally she would argue, but today she let it slide, and just stayed still.
He held her like that, one hand on her thigh and the other stroking her hair, for a few minutes before he spoke.
“I have to go away this weekend,” he started, his voice soft, almost comforting. It didn’t make her headache worse like it did when he yelled, so she nodded in acknowledgement and didn’t move more than that. “I can’t take you with me, so I got you a babysitter. You remember Rory, right?”
Did she remember Rory. Of course she remembered Andrew’s friend! He was the reason her escape attempt failed! And after that he started coming over a lot, sometimes to take care of her injuries, but also to teach Andrew how to punish her! Even if Rory wasn’t as bad as Andrew on a bad day, she would rather not spend time with the man who had spent over an hour teaching Andrew how to hit her to make it hurt. Rory was always talking about preventing injury, and in a way maybe she should be grateful, but she wasn’t.
She shook her head against Andrew’s chest. “Please,” she said.
“Please what? You want to come with me?”
She shrugged. She didn’t, but she knew she wouldn’t be allowed to be alone either, unless she was gonna be locked in the cupboard all weekend, and that wasn’t tempting either.
“It’s just for a few days,” Andrew comforted her, squeezing her bruised thigh a little. “I’ll come back for you before you know it. Will you be a good girl while I’m gone?”
She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. She couldn’t disobey as badly as when she’d tried to run away - the skin on her arms were still pink after those burns - but that didn’t mean she had to act like the perfect pet Andrew wanted. She would still think of herself as human, and she would still use her own name in her head, and she wouldn’t let Andrew turn her into something she wasn’t. She wouldn’t.
She nodded a little. Just one calm day. She didn’t owe him the truth, anyway.
~~
After dinner, Andrew had dressed Sarah in a big coat and a hat, far too much clothes for early autumn, and threatened her to be quiet and behave as they went outside. She was too tired to try to run, and anyway, as long as she was wearing the shock collar around her neck, she wouldn’t get more than a couple steps away.
In the car, she wondered what would happen if she told the taxi driver she needed help. What could Andrew possibly do to stop her from yelling that she was kidnapped? From asking the driver to go to the police? But then, what if this was a test? What if she asked for help and it turned out the driver was one of Andrew’s friends? No, she decided. It wasn’t worth the risk. That would be a big punishment, and she couldn’t take that today.
~~
“Andrew, we’ll be fine,” Rory said, interrupting Andrew from listing all her rules again. Sarah was kneeling on the floor in front of the couch, trying not to listen. Her head was pounding, and the sound of voices was making it worse. “I know all the rules, I know Sky and she knows me. It’s fine. You have to leave, or you’ll be late for your bus.”
Andrew crouched down in front of her. “You’ll be a good girl, right?” he asked, and she nodded. “Just follow the rules. Rory is allowed to punish you if you misbehave, so just do as he says, and I’ll come get you before you know it.” He pulled her into a tight hug, tight enough to make her feel slightly nauseous, and then he was gone. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been there before Rory spoke to her.
“How are you doing?” he asked, crouching in front of her. “Can I get you anything? Water? He’s left, so you don’t have to kneel any more. Do you wanna sit on the couch?”
That had to be a trick. Sarah shook her head, carefully, to not make her headache worse.
“Okay,” Rory said. “Then… are you hungry? Did you eat dinner?”
“Please,” Sarah said, shaking her head again. It was one of very few words she was allowed to say.
“You’re not hungry? Or you didn’t eat?” Rory asked. “It’s after dinnertime for you, isn’t it? Did you already eat?”
She nodded.
“Okay. Do you wanna, uh, I dunno, do you wanna watch TV maybe?” he suggested.
This had to be a trick, right? Was he trying to make her break the rules for a chance to punish her, maybe? She just wanted to get through the day with no trouble, and go to sleep! She really wanted to go to sleep.
She shook her head. If she was allowed to talk she would have asked to go to sleep, or even if she knew where she’d sleep she could find a way to ask, but she didn’t. She had never been here before, and no one had bothered giving her a tour of the apartment.
“Okay… I’ll just put something on and you can watch if you want to, then? Does that sound okay?”
Why was he doing this? He knew she wasn’t allowed to speak! She gave a small nod, focusing on sitting perfectly still. She couldn’t get in trouble for just sitting.
The sound of the TV was jarring, like sandpaper in her ears, and she flinched, instinctively raising her hands to cover her ears. When he saw, Rory immediately turned the TV off, and Sarah froze. Did this count as using her hands?
“Please,” she whispered, placing her hands on the floor in front of her.
“Sky?” Rory said, crouching in front of her. “Can you tell me what’s wrong? Please?” She didn’t respond. “Okay,” he said, putting his hands under her arms and hauling her onto the couch.
She curled up with a sob, dreading what would come. She had just wanted one day without punishment!
“You’re on the couch now. That means you’re allowed to talk, right? Tell me what’s wrong. Just one word, that’s all I’m asking.”
That… that was true. She was allowed to talk when she was on the couch, as long as Andrew had allowed her to be there. And it made sense that Rory could give her permission in the same way, right?
“It’s… headache,” she mumbled, hiding her face in her arms. If she could see his face she would be too afraid to say anything. “Please, can I sleep?”
“A headache?” Rory asked, and she nodded. “Yeah, of course you can go to bed. Come, let’s go get you ready, okay?”
He helped her stand and took her to the bathroom. He even offered to let her brush her own teeth, but for once she was too tired to want to. She just kept her mouth open - like a good girl, ugh - and let him do it for her. Finally, finally, he took her through the door leading to the bedroom. Along the wall under the window was a bed, and under the bed was a cage.
“We, uh, Andrew and I thought maybe you could sleep in there?” Rory said, gesturing to the cage. “But, um, if you’re not feeling well, maybe you want the bed instead? I can sleep on the couch.”
Sarah dropped to her knees and crawled towards the entrance to the cage. It looked awful, but she didn’t trust the offer of the bed. That was for humans, and she could get punished for acting like a human. Inside the cage was a black mattress, covered in, leather, maybe? The floor area was almost as big as the cupboard she slept in at Andrew’s, but here she didn’t have the room to even sit up.
Rory took a pillow and a blanket from the bed and pulled them to the floor. “Here,” he said, pushing them into the cage. “I’ll go get you some water, in case you want it.” He closed the door of the cage and locked it in place with a padlock.
When he was out of the room, she nearly sobbed with relief. She put the pillow under her head and hugged the blanket and closed her eyes, finally getting just a bit of relief from the pain. She wasn’t sure how long it was before Rory came back and put a glass - a glass - of water on the floor along with a pill in a small bowl.
“A painkiller, if you want it,” he said.
She didn’t move or respond, just lay still until he left. She didn’t trust the painkiller - Andrew had drugged her to make her sleep before, and the side effects had always felt really bad - but she did take the water and drank it in small sips. How ironic, she thought, that when she was finally able to drink from a glass she wasn’t able to sit up, so a bowl would have been easier. Still, she finished the water and then lay down to sleep. Tomorrow she would try bending the rules again. Maybe Rory was less careful than Andrew. Maybe it wasn’t a trick. Maybe she could escape tomorrow.