Work Text:
Dean checked his phone for what felt like the hundredth time. Cas had been radio silence for the past two hours, and though they both usually texted whenever they felt like it without having to justify themselves, Dean had started to grew accustomed to the new flow of a continuous conversation, basically uninterrupted since lockdown had started.
Both bored out of their minds inside their homes, they had depended on the other to get through the day. Or at least, Dean surely depended on Cas: he was the only one that could keep him sane enough to not try and run away from his family. It had been during those months that Dean had realized just how much Castiel meant to him and how miserable his life would be without him. He had also realized to which extent he wished Castiel to be part of his life, and since then it was all he had been able to think about.
As he was about to open his laptop to watch something, anything, his phone finally pinged.
It was a selfie by Cas: a close up of his face resting on his pillow, the light low and the covers up to his chin.
'Napped for two hours, I'll get back to you when my brain wakes up.'
Dean smiled at the picture, zooming in on Castiel’s bed hair, barely distinguishable from the dark background.
‘Lucky you’ he texted back. Sleeping after lunch sure was one of few highlights they were allowed to experience nowadays, especially when sleep was preceded by a certain activity.
The possibility of Castiel doing that in the very bed he could see in the picture turned something into Dean's stomach. He pondered whether he could pull off making a joke about it and maybe lead the conversation into unexplored territory… But today was not the day to act on impulse, he actually had a plan.
He scrolled up to re read his own messages, varying from ‘is it me or does auld lang syne hit different this year?’ to 'sam still thinks he can sing, im 10 seconds away from putting a pillow on his face. Dont show this to the police’ and again ‘cas im serious, save me pls’. The two of them were so far past double texting a this point, they let their streams of consciousness take as many messages as needed without any shame.
He reached the last one he’d sent.
‘Wanna hang out later?’
It had been almost two months: not wanting to ruin anyone's Thanksgiving or Christmas, the last time they had met in person had been on Halloween, when they spent the entire evening at the park (masks on) with the rest of their friends. Before that, he and Cas had managed to meet each other at least once a month, month and a half, depending on the number of cases in their area. It had happened much more frequently to meet him and the rest of their friends in the summer, as it was easier to find something to do safely outside. Still, he missed Castiel every single day, he missed him even, especially, while they talked in video calls and he got to hear his voice and see his face.
Now that Christmas had passed and no one from their families had reported any symptoms, Dean had decided it was their best chance to meet. He had felt anxious asking, though, because usually it was Cas who was slightly more reluctant to take even the most controlled risks.
He looked down at his phone again and saw Castiel answering each one of his texts with meme stickers or a quick comment, and eventually he typed an answer for his last question.
‘Yes please’
‘Pick you up at 5?’
‘Okay but I have to be back by 7’
‘Great
later’
Dean dropped his phone on the mattress and laid on his back right next to it. Unable to contain his smile, his heart beating at a much faster pace, he brought his hands to his face to hide behind them and took a deep breath: he would see Cas in less than an hour.
* * *
When he stopped in front of Castiel’s house, his excitement started to turn into anxiety: he had planned out every detail to minimize as much as he could any margin of error, but there was still a chance the day would end badly.
Worst case scenario, you blame it all on Charlie, it’s not a big deal. Stick to the plan.
Before he could even text him, the front door opened and Castiel walked out of his house and practically skipped to reach the impala. Dean’s heart calmed a little at the sight of his friend being, probably, just as excited as he felt. He flashed him his best smile under his mask, knowing it would still show on his eyes even from afar.
In the span of five seconds, Castiel was already opening the door and sliding into the passenger seat.
When the door shut close, he turned to him and they stared at each other for God knows how long, until Cas eventually broke the silence.
“Hello, Dean.”
“Hi Cas.”
It took them another second of charged silence before they both reached for a hug at the same time. There were about a million layers between them, with it being the middle of winter and all, but as soon as Dean felt Cas’ arms holding him tight, his eyes instantly stinged. They hadn’t touched each other at all since everything started. He looked up and sent the tears back just in time for when they pulled back.
“Dean, can we… uhm...”
Castiel didn’t seem to be less affected by the whole thing than Dean was, and his gaze lowered from being fixed on his eyes and stopped on his… nose? Lips?!
Dean was taken aback, his brain not able to process the unexpected turn of events. But then Castiel’s hand touched his own mask and… oh, no need to freak out, yet.
“Sure, yeah.”
He took off his mask and put it in his jacket's pocket as Castiel did the same: he’d told his parents he would keep it on, but he would rather self isolate in his own room for two weeks than miss out on the opportunity of being this close to Cas. Also, he was hoping for the evening to turned out in a way that would make them pull down their masks anyway.
“I’m getting tested tomorrow, just to make sure with the-”
“Yeah, I know. My mom tested negative yesterday.”
“Gabriel did too.”
Dean nodded and finally turned to sit facing the steering wheel again.
“Okay, ready to go?”
“Yes. Where?”
“I was thinking we could get something at the Starbucks’ drive through and park there.”
Castiel hummed affirmatively and Dean started driving away from his house.
Whenever he could, he would steal glances at Castiel and his heart jumped a little every time: Castiel looked like he belonged there, on the passenger seat, right next to him. He looked like they’d been driving together everyday for years and he felt the impala to be his as much as it was Dean’s: his legs comfortably stretched, his elbow resting on the window and the arm supporting his head, a soft smile on his lips, it was like a vision.
If Castiel had caught him staring, he didn’t show it and, to be honest, Dean didn’t really care. This, right there, was the very fantasy that had kept him company every night before falling asleep. It took everything in him not to snap a picture. Or reach out his hand and run it through Castiel’s hair. Or rest it on his thigh. Maybe soon.
He’d been thinking, lately, about how unfair it all was: this wasn’t supposed to be a one time, special occasion type of thing thing. They were supposed to ride to school together, this being the first year Dean had his driving license. They were supposed to have a playlist Dean would make a mixtape out of, Castiel was supposed to steal as many minutes of sleep as possible in the morning, they were supposed to wait for each other at school and then ride back home, complaining about their homework and…
He tried to push the thought aside, not wanting to let it ruin the mood.
As if he was reading his mind, Castiel started to speak and distracted him.
“I crave hot chocolate. I haven’t had any yet, this winter.”
“What? You spent Christmas break without hot chocolate?”
“I kept procrastinating it.”
“How do you even procrastinate chocolate?”
“I’m just that committed to not doing things. I thought you’d understand”
“Shut up.”
They arrived at the drive through and there were only a couple of cars in front of them. The parking lot was mostly empty and there didn’t seem to be anyone walking around.
Dean ordered and paid, despite Cas’ protests, both of their drinks and then parked in the furthest spot.
He’d originally decided to wait and do what he needed to do after they’d spent some time together, but now that they were here he couldn’t focus on anything else and his anxiety was already trying to get him to abort the mission.
Castiel was sipping his chocolate and saying something Dean’s brain couldn’t pay attention to. Yes, he’d rather get it out of his way now than spend another hour and a half like this.
“I have something to ask you”
“Mh?”
“I told you I’ve been on Tik Tok for a couple of month now.”
“You mentioned it while bragging about the whole school following you, if I’m correct.”
“Well, yeah. So I was wondering if you wanted to make one with me.”
“One? As in, a video?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t really know how-”
“No, that’s the thing. There’s this… Challenge? Basically I make you listen to a song that you’ve never heard and film your reaction. That’s it.”
“But what if it’s not good, does it post it automatically?”
“No, no, we can edit it or delete it later, don’t worry.”
“Okay”
Castiel didn’t sound too sure, but Dean wasn’t expecting him to be. He reached for his phone and started to balance it on the dashboard.
“Oh, you meant right now?”
“Yeah, if you wanna.”
“Yes, sure.”
“Come closer, both of us have to be in the frame.”
Dean opened the app and set everything up as Castiel very slowly reached the center of the bench.
“Okay, so now I will play a song and you just listen carefully to what it’s saying, because... it’s speaking for me.”
“So I should pay attention to the lyrics?”
“Exactly.”
“And… react.”
“Yes.”
“That’s weird.”
“I know, it’s just… when you react, you react to the fact that it’s as if I’m saying those lyrics to you.”
“Okay, I think I get it.”
Dean nodded and suddenly, it was time to hit play. His pressed his hands on his thighs to stop them from shaking, and then raised them to start the video.
“Ready?”
“Yes.”
The song started with the instrumental and Dean tried to relax his posture, feigning nonchalance as he put his right arm on the backrest, right behind Castiel’s shoulders. In for a penny, in for a pound, right?
Jenny darlin, you’re my best friend...
He turned to look a Castiel’s face, barely a smile there as he stared at the phone and acknowledged the words, probably worrying about focusing on the rest. Dean was supposed to lip sync along to lighten the mood, but right now even breathing normally felt like a task he wasn’t sure he could pull off.
...but there’s a few things that you don’t know of...
Castiel frowned and turned to look at Dean, who somehow managed to wink and smirk, as if he wasn’t about to combust spontaneously.
...why I borrow your lipstick so often…
“I don’t have a lipstick.” he whispered, and yeah, this song was made for lesbians and the lipstick thing was actually pretty cute, but Dean didn’t have time to explain all of that.
“I know, just-”
...I’m using your shirt as a pillow case…
Castiel’s frown deepened even more, because they didn’t share clothes. He probably didn’t remember when he has lent Dean one of shirts, a million years ago when they were at Cas’ house and Jo had spilled an entire glass of soda on him. Dean might have kept that shirt since then, but he didn’t need to bring that up now because the crucial part of the song was about to come.
… I wanna ruin our friendship…
Castiel didn’t really have time to react, except for a small twitch at his lips.
… we should be lovers instead.
Castiel’s eyes snapped to Dean’s, blue and wide, and his mouth slightly open. Dean had to act, here and now, or else he would lose the window of the tik tok excuse.
I don’t know how to say this, ‘cause you’re really my dearest friend.
As the last lyrics were sung, he inched closer until there was barely any space left between his and Castiel’s mouth. He looked into his eyes, searching for any sign that this was okay, but Castiel was simply still, the only thing moving visibly was his chest as if he also had lost control on his lungs.
He didn’t move back or forward, but considering that Charlie had swore on her life he had a crush on Dean as well, and considering that he didn’t look appalled by the situation, Dean decided to shoot his shot. He closed the space between them and touched Castiel’s lips with his own, the smallest peck to show his intention in case it wasn’t clear. He pulled back slightly, just to check on Castiel’s reaction and when he saw tears in his eyes but no smile, he panicked. Did he get it all wrong? Was it too soon? It was stupid to just go for it instead of talking about it, wasn’t it?
“Cas, I’m-”
“You mean it?” There was an urgency to Castiel’s tone and Dean didn’t know whether it was a good or bad sign. He nodded, his eyes’ never leaving Castiel’s face. He watched him processing everything that was happening. And then, a small smile appeared and before he knew it, that smile was pressed on his own lips.
Dean’s hand instantly found its way to Castiel’s face, as he kissed him back with much more determination.
The kiss was still a bit uncoordinated, but when they pulled back they were both still smiling.
“How… why the tik tok?”
Dean shrugged, taking his phone.
“Just wanted an excuse to catch it on camera. Or, an excuse to laugh it off in case you didn’t feel the same.”
“Of course I feel the same. Dean, I...”
He stopped and Dean was either projecting, or Castiel was feeling too overwhelmed to speak. So Dean kissed him again on the corner of his mouth, and Castiel laughed, visibly more relaxed.
“I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Well. I think we should be glad we both confided in Charlie.”
“She told you?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t have found the courage to do this otherwise, so don’t get mad at her.”
But Castiel didn’t look mad at all, he still looked like he was on cloud nine.
“So we’re, we could be... together?”
“Yes, if you want to.”
“It’s pretty obvious that I do.”
“Just making sure.”
They stared at each other some more, and then Castiel’s eyes lowered to Dean’s mouth again.
“I’m sorry if it looked bad, I’ve never been with anyone and I don’t really know how...” He gestured vaguely at his mouth, and Dean felt free, for the first time, to show on his face just how cute he thought Castiel was.
“Don’t worry, I have no intention of posting this. And... we’ll just need to practice a bit.”
Castiel blushed, actually blushed.
“Right now?” He asked, his tone both hopeful and playful, and Dean couldn’t help but laugh as he pulled him in for another kiss.
Needless to say, both of their drinks got cold and Castiel’s parents scolded him about being late for dinner.