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The cold winter air was sharp as a blade inside of Yuki’s lungs as he pushed the door of the estate’s main building open, the light from inside bleeding out against the night. Or maybe that icy feeling in his chest also had to do with the fact that Yuki was well aware he was disobeying the orders of his mother, Akito, and the rat spirit all at once. Those three demanded he remain at Akito’s side, to just sit there like a good little plaything and keep his mouth shut. But the sight of the other Zodiac members' sideways glances, including his own brother that he barely knew, had been too much, and he’d slipped out as quietly as possible. There had been no destination in mind, but when Yuki heard a few of the maids talking about the ‘cat-spirit child’, Kyo, (cat? there was a cat in the Zodiac?) lingering outside, curiosity got the better of him, which was how he’d ended up here.
It was simple to find the other young boy who must be the cat (Kyo? wasn’t that what the maids called him?), and something in Yuki lit up at the realization that they appeared to be identical in age. That wasn’t where the similarities stopped, though, as Yuki took notice of the fact that the other boy’s hair, while cropped into shorter strands than his own, was the same gray tone. Despite his excitement, though, that couldn’t stop Yuki’s own shy personality from coming front and center, though his eagerness to meet someone knew was winning out. As Yuki opened his mouth, a soft “um, hi,” finally slipping out, Kyo turned towards him and the rest of his words were lost to a gasp.
The moment Yuki’s eyes locked with Kyo’s something… happened. He didn’t know how to describe it, too young for the proper words to say what it was. But for a split second he’d seen Kyo’s eyes as that same gray, the one that matched his hair and Yuki’s own feelings, and then it was gone. It was replaced with… something warm. Something bright; a blazing color that Yuki had never seen before. Was it red? No, he’d seen red in paintings on the walls through the estate, and flowers growing on shrubs. This was something new entirely, and it left Yuki wide-eyed and breathless. It’s so pretty, he’s so pretty, was the only thing Yuki could think. But before any other words could pass his lips, any questions about what that color was called, Kyo broke the brief silence that had settled.
“You’re the rat?” Kyo’s voice was sharper than Yuki had expected, not the comforting tones that his brain had already conjured up, and the question sounded like more of an accusation than anything. All Yuki managed was a small nod, a little warning bell chiming in his head that maybe he was the only one between them excited to meet. “It’s your fault. All of it.” Yuki’s already fragile breathing stuttered, the air feeling like it was turning solid in his throat and would refuse to let any words pass by.
His fault? What was his fault?
After a quick pause, the winter night offering no sounds to muffle the silence sinking between them, Yuki attempted to choke out a question, wanting to know what he’d done, but Kyo was quick to head him off. “The world would be better if you dropped dead.” Something about the pretty face speaking those harsh words made them hurt even worse, and Yuki couldn’t understand the shattering sensation happening within his chest. Part of him wanted to run to the other boy, to wrap his arms around him and learn why he was hurting so bad, to tend to his wounds and nurse him back to health. But the other part was screaming to run, to get away from Kyo and his cruel words and never look back.
Yuki ended up not needing to make any form of a choice, however. When his outburst was being met with silence, apparently Kyo didn’t feel like waiting to see if that was going to change before he spun on his heel and took off in the opposite direction, his bright hair eventually swallowed up by the dark. Stunned by the entire exchange, Yuki simply stood there in the cold for a moment, small fists balled up on the edges of his shirt and hot tears starting to pool in his eyes. These were far from the first cruel words ever spoken to him, as he’d become quite accustomed to Akito’s verbal lashings, but they cut into a place that he hadn’t known existed. Sniffling and quickly scrubbing a sleeve over his eyes, Yuki pushed the door back open and slid into the warmth, though it was nowhere near enough to combat the feeling that there were ice fragments running through his blood.
Any hopes of coming back into the banquet hall and having his absence unnoticed were quickly slashed, as an angry cry of “where did you think you were going?” greeted him. Nerves immediately flaring, Yuki slowly turned his still teary eyes onto the source of the words, and Akito’s furious gaze bore right back into him. The palm striking across his cheek didn’t come as a surprise, but that didn’t stop Yuki from gently lifting his own hand to it, trying to dull the sting. “Where were you? Answer me!” Akito’s words twisted something within Yuki, the rat spirit responding to its God with the eagerness to please, and his mouth opened without his consent.
“I was outside. I met the cat,” Yuki’s words were soft, shaky little things, like baby birds pushed from the nest before they were ready to fly. He’d wanted to lie, or at least omit the last portion about who he'd been with. Why, Yuki wasn’t sure, but the feeling that he shouldn’t say was strong. Though nothing was stronger than a question from God. It was quickly confirmed, though, that his senses had been spot on as Akito’s gaze darkened deeper than Yuki had even known possible.
“Did that... thing speak to you? Did it touch you?” There was a clear hatred dripping from Akito’s voice, a disdain so strong that it made Yuki wince. Shaking his head and biting his lip to try to keep his mouth shut, it was easy to see at least a bit of tension bleed out of Akito’s frame. The act of being dishonest felt like claws digging into his chest, but Yuki was afraid of what retribution Kyo might face should he repeat those words spoken to him. The question of his color-shifting hair and eyes danced around Yuki’s brain, though, and considering they were already on high alert, Akito could feel something through their bond. “What are you thinking about, Yuki? Be honest,” the vibrations of the clear command to his spirit made Yuki shake, and he gasped out a question that he’d planned to keep only in his own heart.
The sound of his own words made Yuki want to scream, made him want to clap his hands over his mouth and hold it shut to keep some pieces of this to himself, but it was absolutely no use. “His hair and eyes changed color, and I don’t know what the color they turned into is called,” the words were yanked from deep within him, and nausea rolled in his stomach from how hard he’d been trying to cling onto them. The fury on Akito’s face froze for a moment, some sense of understanding racing past before their features twisted into a half-crazed shock. Yuki had no idea what any of it meant, but that wasn’t going to make him ask, and especially not when Akito then grabbed his shoulders, gripping in hard and making him whimper from the cut of their nails even through his sweater.
“You’ll never see that creature again, do you understand me? If you so much as breathe the same air as it, you’ll never be allowed to leave my side again for even a moment. It’s a monster and you’ll never bring it up again,” Akito’s words pumped venom into Yuki’s soul, some part of him that he was entirely unfamiliar with screaming about how he didn’t want that, how despite his rage he needed to be able to see Kyo again. But the rat, as usual, was happy to submit to his God’s wishes, so Yuki found himself bowing his head and offering a soft “yes, Akito,” in response. Those thin, frighteningly strong hands let go of his shoulders only for one to circle around his wrist, and Yuki found himself being dragged back into the banquet hall.
While it was clear that everyone wanted to look at the angry God dragging Yuki back into the room, they all knew better and kept to themselves, acting as though nothing were happening. Yuki was finally let go off and he took his seat next to Akito’s once again, though his gaze did flicker to some of the art pieces throughout the room. That color was in those, too, so how had he never noticed it before? The sensation that there was something more to this kept buzzing around in his brain, but Yuki knew it would have to remain a mystery. It wasn’t like he had anything to ask, and Akito had made it clear that they would offer no answers.
With a resigned sigh (and choked back cough), Yuki tried to push everything out of his head and focus on what he was told was important since he was even younger. That he was here to love his God and provide them companionship, and his existence meant next to nothing apart from that.
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What Yuki didn’t know was that within four walls still in the Sohma estate but far from his current location, Kyo was also experiencing the same feeling that something profound had happened that night. His feelings were mostly drowned out by the fury he’d felt at meeting the rat in person, but his dreams that night would involve a pair of large, gray eyes gazing at him with some sort of emotion behind them that he wasn’t familiar with.
Stupid.
Kyo didn’t even know what color Yuki’s eyes really were, and of course the first person he’d meet with his soulmate’s eye color would be the person he hated most in the world.