Archive of Our Own

It had been a few days since Jeongguk presented, and all he could say with any trace of certainty was that it did not go as he expected. He, and everyone else who knew him basically, expected him to present as alpha. Not just because he was tall and active, but because of his initiative and overall feel and energy. After all, most of his friends presented as alpha, which only solidified the idea more. His parents were lovely, mind you, they had always reassured him that whatever he would present as he would always be their baby, they wouldn't push subgender stereotypes on him, whatever his hopes and dreams. And he loved them for it, he really did. But it did not make the hit of presenting as omega any less strong for him.

And, hell, was it strong.

It had only been a few days since his first heat and Jeongguk did not feel an ounce better. If he were to be honest with himself, he felt completely crushed. It had made him feel all kinds of wrong, and the feeling still lingered on him, he could feel the ghost of it on his body. It weighed him down and pressed on his chest, making it seem so hard to breathe.

He had barely left his room for days, worrying his parents and confusing his friends, but he couldn't bring himself to care. During his heat, he didn't want to be seen. The thought of his parents' eyes on him had made his stomach turn in a physically painful way. He remembered how he heaved and yelled when they knocked on his door, begging them to leave. Sometimes, at night, in the comfort of complete solitude and darkness, he would feel sorry for that, he probably made them feel horrible. But during the day, whenever he heard them do as much as walk by, the way he tensed and shied away from the door prevented him from doing anything else. From doing anything but make himself as small and insignificant as possible. Hopefully, he could do that until he eventually disappeared.

Now, a few days later, it was at least a little better. He had ventured outside his room more than for sneaky escapes to the bathroom. That day, he had even sat at dinner with his parents for the first time. It felt weird and he was jumpy the whole time, but he willed himself to sit through it and slowly chew through his food. They looked a little relieved, at least. But the feeling that had been eating at his chest didn't go away, never completely.

So, finally, he decided he would try to get that feeling out of his head. He opened twitter (admittedly, not the most elegant thing to pour his emotions into) and furiously typed a tweet that conveyed his experiences. How he had presented as omega and it didn't fucking feel right. How heats didn't feel right at all. Then, wiping a bit too harshly his tears and his poor, blood-shot eyes, he pressed send.

Now it was out to the world, Jeongguk was an omega and something must have been wrong with him.

;;

It was nearing the end of the day, almost time to get dinner started, but the faint rumble of Yoongi's stomach wasn't annoying enough yet. So for the time being, he was content with sitting on the couch, a hand lazily stroking his boyfriend's leg. He was on his phone while Namjoon was reading a book, something thick and with an ominous title, just like he liked his books. They liked doing this, quietly enjoying each other's presence as the sun set outside and soon they would realize they had to turn on the lights in the room. Namjoon much earlier than him, but he would still wait, so as to not disturb Yoongi who had his legs thrown over his lap.

They loved it, it was Yoongi's favourite time of the day.

Yoongi felt tired, a warm feeling embraced his body, making him unfocused from his current task of scrolling his twitter timeline. But suddenly, something caught his eyes. He didn't know quite what about it did, the tweet didn't have any pictures to accompany it nor was the profile picture one that he recalled - it was some anime character. And yet, he stopped and read it once, then twice, lines forming in between his eyebrows as they neared together.

"Hey, Joon-ah. Read this."

His boyfriend, who was predictably sitting still, the book now discarded on the arm rest of the couch as it got too dark to read, turned towards him with a questioning look. He took the phone Yoongi was handing him and looked puzzled at the tweet which he had already opened. He could see his brown eyes dart across the screen, a similar frown to his casting shadows on his face, deeper and deeper as he read.

"Sounds like us when we were younger, huh?"

"Sounds worse." Namjoon reiterated.

Yoongi nodded, because he was right. There was a desperation, in the words written in that tweet, a feeling of self doubt he had never experienced, not to that degree. And even Namjoon, who got it worse than him, never expressed as much self hatred as that anonymous account.

"I wanna text them," Namjoon mumbled, staring at the tweet as if he could manifest that omega through it, or make them feel a supportive hug if only he concentrated enough. It was very endearing, to Yoongi's loving eyes.

"You should, I'm sure they would appreciate it. After all, we're old omegas, aren't we?" He laughed softly, then he sat up and swung his legs off Namjoon's lap.

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, watching him worry his bottom lip with his teeth. A fond sigh left his lips and he stood up. Finally, he turned on the light, and he walked to the kitchen.

"I'm making noodles," He announced, but there was no answer. Regardless, he started taking out the ingredients and utensils. Namjoon often got lost in his thoughts, and there was no bringing him back. He was listening to what Yoongi told him, most likely, but he just forgot he had to answer. It was okay, he found it cute.

A lot of things about Namjoon were cute.

While cooking, Yoongi sometimes turned around to glance at the other, he was either fidgeting as he seemed to mull over his own thoughts, or typing furiously at the keyboard of Yoongi's phone.

After a while, he looked back to find him completely spaced out, calmer.

"You think you can eat, or are you too busy there?" He asked, his tone soft. He walked over and threaded his fingers through Namjoon black hair, "Are you still talking to that omega?"

"Yeah, he's cute. I replied... well basically that every one's different and not everyone finds heats sexy, you know? And he dm'ed me 'what do you mean heats don't have to be sexy?'," They both chuckled, looking at each other while comfortable silence began to surround them, filled instead with gentle touches.

The only sounds they could hear was that of the noodles broiling on the stove, and the faint one of the cars outside.

"Did you tell him you're ace?" Yoongi's quiet voice cut the silence after a while, wondering just how much he had opened up to that kid. Namjoon was pretty open, with the right prompts and answers. When it was about helping someone else out, he was always ready to put his barriers down.

"Yeah," Namjoon smiled and cupped a hand around Yoongi's slender wrist, his thumb caressing his skin. "I had to explain to him what that meant, but that's alright. I'm not sure he got it, but it wasn't a long conversation anyway, I don't blame him."

"He'll understand you," Yoongi was quick to reassure him, spotting the hint of self-doubt in Namjoon's eyes with trained ability, "And if he doesn't, I'll block him for you."

They laughed again and then Yoongi dropped his hand, Namjoon's own falling with it.

"It's almost ready, say goodbye and go set the table."

"Sir, yes sir."

Namjoon laughed at his eye roll, but Yoongi swore it was genuine. He didn't believe it one bit, and Yoongi found he was fine with that. Because it wasn't genuine, he loved Namjoon and his witty jokes.

They put on a drama on Yoongi's laptop and watched it as they ate, huddled close on one side of the table. It was a quiet night, but they were quiet people.

;;

After a few hours, after Yoongi had left to go answer some work emails and set up his work for the next day, he joined Namjoon in bed. He was on his phone now, and when he climbed on the bed and sat next to him, he could glance at the screen and notice that he was chatting with the same guy as before.

"Made a new friend?"

He got under the covers and got comfortable, Namjoon put his phone aside and immediately snuck an arm under his neck, which he used to pry him close, into a hug.

"Yeah, I think he just passed out though. He told me he hasn't really slept in days, the poor thing."

Yoongi hummed to show he was listening, but he was distracted by the comforting warmth of his boyfriend's arms around him. He was busy trying to bury his face as deep into the crook of his neck as possible, to feel all his body heat and feel safe.

"Do you know his name?"

"No, but his display name is 'Koo', I think it's a nickname."

Yoongi hummed again.

"He really is surprised that I'm the way I am, but I don't blame him. I know it comes from his own insecurities, you know? Plus, society's image of omegas is gross. And the image of sex in general, too," He got that all out in one breath, but then once he stopped it was like he couldn’t go on.

Yoongi knew him, knew Namjoon needed his time to rant in peace, with him just lending an ear. So, he usually didn't nag him, unless the silence went on a bit too long and he'd start to doubt himself. Usually, he just needed some time to organise his thoughts, when he had too many. And Yoongi knew to let him do that, by then.

"It's kind of weird, to meet someone younger going through my same thing. Well, I don't know for sure he's ace, but you know what I mean. The self discovery bit of it all. Is it weird to want to hug him and keep him safe?"

"Depends, is he legal?"

Namjoon laughed, or more like grunted, and he playfully flicked his fingers to hit Yoongi on the top of his head.

"Not like that, you weirdo."

They laughed together for a while, and only once they'd settled down, Yoongi spoke up again.

"It's really normal, Joon-ah. Especially since he might be ace like you. You want him to have what you wish you had, right?"

"Yeah. I wanna be that for him, even if I don't know him."

"Well, you can get to know him. He talked to you all night, I'm sure he actually would want to have you, too," He pulled back so he could look Namjoon in the eyes, he smiled and kissed him on his lips, "Don't be afraid to ask, he needs someone on his side. He said he has no omegas in his life, he needs some guidance. It's not weird at all for it to come from the internet, in this day and age. It's just as valid."

It was Namjoon's turn to hum approvingly. He had closed his eyes and was visibly getting sleepy. Yoongi's smile grew wider, into one of those that the younger would call "his really happy smile", as he petted his hair and gave him one more kiss.

"Go to sleep now, silly."

And as his boyfriend fell asleep beside him, Yoongi watched him and was flooded by thoughts of appreciation for him. Namjoon was such a bright light in his life, and sure, he was a little biased maybe, but there was no denying how caring and gentle he was. It showed then, with how affected he was by this Koo person. He had shown him the tweet, firstly, because it looked like that stranger on the internet needed to hear a voice like Namjoon. Someone who also hated heats, who got uncomfortable and shut down during them, never craving sex. Yoongi was a gay, omega loving omega, he knew like any other queer person did, that when you question your identity or sexuality, what you need the most is someone like you. So, he had wanted Joon to leave a reply, something to let him know he was not alone. The replies were already generally supportive, but the top ones weren't from people like him. There was a lot of the usual "you will meet the right person soon", or "it gets better". Yoongi thought he needed to know it didn't have to be that way, he could feel that way forever and be just as valid.

In hindsight, he should have known Namjoon would get a little emotional, he had found him on the verge of tears once or twice earlier that night, his eyes big and glossy as he stared at the screen of Yoongi's phone from a little too close. That was, after all, the reason why he loved him, he was emotional and cared so much. He had a heart bigger than his own chest.
So, if he wanted to help Koo now, Yoongi would be right next to him, and support him. He could feel that it was important for Namjoon too, to explore his asexuality with someone. He hadn't had an opportunity quite like this one before, but he could now. He could be Koo's shoulder to rely on, as Yoongi would be his.

;;

Jeongguk took the little plastic cup with both hands, it looked ridiculous given how tiny it was, but it helped warm up his cold skin. He walked back to his friend Hoseok, sitting next to him.

"How long 'till practice?"

Hoseok looked up at the corner of his phone, which he was already on, with his brows furrowed. He always had that look when he was focused, it was the one he always teased him for for making people swoon for him left and right.

"15 minutes, well- 13 actually."

Jeongguk took a sip of the bland, watery coffee. It sucked, it was from a vending machine after all. But he felt cold after their walk to the dance school, and cold temperatures made him sleepy. He took his phone out as well, checking quickly for any unread texts. There were some from Yoongi and Namjoon, and he immediately replied to them, a little happy feeling tugging at the corners of his lips.

"You talking to one of your sugar daddies?" Hoseok nudged him with his elbow, exhibiting a shit eating grin that had no place being that pretty. Damn Hoseok and his attractiveness. "How's it going with them?"

"Shut up. Can't I chat with someone now?"

"I don't know, you're awfully close to a nearly married couple. And it's not just chatting, they know about stuff you won't tell me, your favourite hyung."

"Ew, I don't want to tell you about my heats, you make everything weird. Plus, you're the only one who ever called yourself my favourite hyung, I never ever even implied it," He stated smugly, watching pridefully from the corner of his eyes how Hoseok visibly freaked out, a choked out gasp leaving his throat.

"How dare you, I'm a great hyung!"

Jeongguk laughed, but if he were to be honest, he felt warm all over. He was always grateful for how respectful Hoseok was with him, how he never mentioned his heats.

Hoseok had been his friend for a few years already, one could say. They went to the same dance school, some pretty shabby place, after all they lived in a fairly small town, but they could at least nurture their passion for dance. They inevitably gravitated towards each other as soon as Jeongguk moved up to the last modern dance class, more variegated in age, but way less populated than the younger ones.

Hoseok was one of the oldest by then, which made him look cool, and made Jeongguk look cool by association, which was pretty neat. But his hyung was actually lame, a ball of awkwardness which he turned into physical energy. He seemed to run on it. But regardless of that, and regardless of the fact that they were never close on a personal level before, they really cared for each other and joked around a lot. Sharing a passion, even more when a group sport, can do that to you.

Since Hoseok reached out after reading his twitter post what was now around two weeks before, he had been the most understanding person out of his friends. Not like his college friends didn't show him support, but they visibly didn't understand. They tried to, and maybe that was their mistake, because Jeongguk surely didn't know how to explain himself yet. Hoseok, on the other hand, didn't try to understand him, didn't look at him like he was a puzzle to figure out or something to fix. He had just come up to him, wished him the best, gave him a pat on the back and ever since he had gravitated more towards him. A comforting and warm presence, not overbearing but there when Jeongguk needed it. He couldn't be more grateful for him, for that and many more reasons.

But he was an ass. Especially about Yoongi and Namjoon.

Truly, there was nothing weird going on between them. He understood that the idea of two older people he met on the internet, with whom he discussed his personal (mostly sexual in nature) struggles; well it was pretty foreign to most people. But they weren't even that much older than him! He was 19, and they were 24 and 25, they were all young adults after all. He needed guidance and they seemed knowledgeable on self discovery. Firstly, they were both omegas, but they were dating. While dating within subgenders was no longer as big of a taboo as a few years prior, it was still hard to openly be in a homosexual relationship, especially for omegas. It was always harder for omegas. Therefore, he felt like Namjoon and Yoongi had to fight to get where they were now, in a stable relationship, living together and happy. And then there was Namjoon alone, and the fact that he was asexual, and did not want any sexual interaction during his heat. Maybe, maybe he was just like him and he'd be okay soon. He wanted to learn how to be okay and happy like Namjoon.

For all of those reasons and more, he felt like he needed the two older omegas in his life. His second heat was coming and he did not want to spend it like his first.

"Well, if you already think that our relationship is weird," Jeongguk started, after a moment of getting lost in such thoughts, "then I really can't tell you this thing..." He was putting on an act, pouting as he looked away from his friend. He knew Hoseok knew he was just playing with him. But he was also sure that he was going to act just like he was not.

"Yah! What do you mean, Guk! You can tell me anything, I'm your friend!"

"Even friends should have secrets." He said stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No, no! We should never have secrets." Hoseok pouted back, shaking his arm like a kid would.

As soon as Jeongguk glanced back at his childish, puppy face, he couldn't hold it in any longer and laughed at him, his whole body shaking. "You look silly, hyung."

"Who's taught you manners? Adding 'hyung' after an insult! I should've dropped you long ago."

Jeongguk's eyes softened, as he watched Hoseok frown and mirror the position he himself was in until a moment before. His hyung was kind, but that didn't mean he didn't like teasing once or twice. They both knew he loved him.

"I want to ask Namjoon and Yoongi if they could teach me... you know..." He looked around shyly, before looking down at his hands on his lap and continuing, "to be an omega."

"That sounds a little sugar daddy like."

"Hoseok hyung!" He whined loudly and slapped his thigh, pout back on his lips in no time.

Hoseok giggled for a short time, then smiled brightly and patted Jeongguk thigh. It was similar to his gesture from just a moment before, but he did it in a much gentler manner, and kept his hand there for comfort.

"You should do it," His voice was soft, it was a stark contrast to how loud and warm it usually was, especially inside the dance school, but Jeongguk liked his voice regardless.

"Thanks, hyung."

They looked at each other for a second, shy smiles exchanging the words of affection they were still too awkward to speak out loud.

"Now, chug your coffee and let's go change, before teacher Choi sees us lazing around and kicks us from the competition."

As a kid, dancing had been something to pour his energy into, growing up he liked how it made him kind of cool in school, telling people he would become an idol one day. Then, Jeongguk discovered just how he could use dance to waste not only energy on, but also his feelings. How he could dance to his emotions and do it so much better that way.

That day, he did just that. During the class, they were working on some group choreography. They had pretty much nailed it down by then, so Jeongguk could allow his focus to slip and let his body take over, only focusing on his emotions and the way that translated into action. He put all his frustrations into hip thrusts and voluptuous movements of his arms. He was sweaty, breath heavy, it always felt a little more physically challenging when he danced that way, but it felt good. He felt a whole lot better already.

When they left for the changing rooms, it felt both like it had been an eternity and only 5 minutes, to Jeongguk. But that was good, he supposed.

He peeled off his sweaty clothes in a hustle, wiping down his body with a towel. He didn't like taking showers in public places, it never made him feel completely clean once he got home. So he rather put on the same used clothes he came in with and waited until he was in his own bathroom.

"By the way, have you been to uni yet?"

Jeongguk suddenly felt small at Hoseok's answer. The older wasn't looking at him, but it could only soothe his nerves so far. He was aware that, even if him and Hoseok weren't in the same year or major, the university was only so big, and he had to admit to skipping classes when he asked to walk to the dance school together after class and he had to decline for the third time in a row. He felt stupid for it, and he didn't want his hyung to think he was stupid, so he didn't really want to answer that question, if he were to be honest.

"No, not yet," Jeongguk looked down at the towel that he was previously rubbing against his torso, but had stopped midway, frozen by Hoseok's words. He put it down, laying it over his knee and anxiously rubbing its wrinkles out.

He knew he couldn't just avoid this forever, but the thought of being stuck in a room with a whole lot of strangers, sitting, able to think about how they knew he was an omega. How they could smell him. It stressed him out, he didn't want to face it. At least, there, he was dancing, he had something else to put his focus on and that burnt his energies. He could bear it at the dance school, because dancing was his passion and it got his mind off of it, but uni sounded so much different and scarier.

It sounded like torture.

"You know, you could always wear scent blockers. If you aren't ready for people to know, that's alright. Whatever makes you comfortable," He looked up to Hoseok's smile. It wasn't a very wide one, he was not showing any teeth, but he could see his dimples and it was comforting him.

"You think so? It won't be weird?"

"No, why would it? A lot of people use them for a lot of reasons, we can go buy them together right now, okay? It's not too late to go to the convenience store down the street, is it?"

Jeongguk thought he wouldn't know what he'd do without Hoseok, and maybe it was wrong to think like that. But at least, he gave him the reassurance that he desperately needed, when everything felt like it was shaking under his feet.

"Okay."

And so they did. They went and bought scent blockers for him, and it didn't really feel like a scene in a movie, with a music montage and them messing around in the aisle or feeling free. No, it was pretty bad to be honest, he felt watched and uncomfortable the whole time. He almost didn't utter a word, just trusting in Hoseok to speak and take decisions for him. Which brand of blockers to get, the small talks with the cashier, it was all so much more stressful to him than he could ever imagine. But at least Hoseok took over, holding his hand for the first time.

It was nice, a firm and warm touch to guide him through the mess of his emotions enough to stay afloat and not panic. Thanks to it, before he could know it they had bought scent blockers and were out of the shop.

Jeongguk exhaled so deeply he thought he must have held his breath the whole time he was inside. Hoseok must have heard him, because he patted him on the back as he put the white plastic bag in his hand with a comforting smile.

Jeongguk held onto it so tightly his knuckles turned white, like it was a treasure.

Later that night, he was lying face up and freshly showered, a bottle of heat suppressants still in its plastic bag, laying next to him and pressing into his side. Jeongguk ignored his still humid hair dampening his pillowcase, in favour of stalling over a text he had already half typed out. What if his hyungs thought he was weird? Well, he definitely was, and they probably already knew that. But he had to take a chance. He felt like there was a lot more than he could learn from the two older omegas, thinking of spending years finding out how to cope with his subgender was something that made his heart feel like it was shrinking in size. He wanted to be free, feel good about himself.
They had always been open and understanding, right?
So, without any more thought, he swallowed the lump in his throat and he opened the chat with them.

Gguk: i have something to ask

Namjoonie-hyung: yes?

Gguk: it's okay if you don't want to, but i was thinking... if you and yoongi hyung could maybe teach me some... omega stuff?

Gguk: like i don't know much about being an omega

Gguk: you know

Yoongi-hyung: it's okay koo, calm down

Namjoonie-hyung: of course we can teach you

Namjoonie-hyung: well, there isn't really much to "teach", everyone is different. but we can talk until you figure out what kind of omega you are :)

Water pooled on Jeongguk’s eyes, clinging to his lashes. It wasn’t only because they had accepted and hadn't doubted him for a second, but because they never failed to remind him that he was him. And he was more than fine.

He sniffed and rolled over to his side, smushing his cheek into his pillow. A lone tear spilled from his eye at that, but he forced back any new ones. He wasn't going to cry, this was something so small. He was far from being himself, but he was working to get there and he was determined. He would become the best version of himself ever, he'd be happy, and Namjoon and Yoongi would be proud of him.

When he looked back at his phone screen, a wet laugh was drawn out of him as soon as he saw his hyung's texts. There was a long scroll of encouraging messages and then concerned ones at his lack of a response. He sniffled one last time, all tears gone by the time he was finished typing a message thanking them.

;;

Jeongguk stared defiantly at the pile of clothes sitting in front of him like he was trying to pick a fight with them. Namjoon and Yoongi had explained to him that nests are very important for an omega's comfort, that smell is very important too, that using loved ones' belongings made nests that much better. That was most of what they had taught him in the four or five days prior - staying at home most of the day, with dance as his only occupation, had really fucked up his biological clock.

It had been a little awkward, for all three of them. Yoongi and Namjoon clearly didn’t quite know what to say at first, and Jeongguk knew the usual things about being an omega. What going into heat meant and entailed, the biology of his reproductive system and so forth. Scent was something that, on the other hand, was a little new to him. His sense of smell had heightened since presenting, and as a late bloomer he had gone 18 years of his life not really picking up on others’ scents more than the usual sweat odor or shampoo fragrances. Now, he knew that his alpha mother had a much more prominent scent than his beta mother, it was muskier and different. Even at dance practice, he could pick up on his dance mate’s smells and sometimes, that would get him quite overwhelmed.

So, his two mentors, so to speak, had agreed that they could talk about that. About how it was a great ally for omegas, but could also be a big issue. A loved one’s scent could soothe them, a threatening one send them right into panic. That was a scary prospect, for Jeongguk, but at least he knew why his alpha mother smelled so nice, and had his thoughts churn a little slower.

And that was how they got to the topic of nesting and scents. Jeongguk knew what nesting was, of course, but he never felt the urge to do it before presenting. Neither did he know that nesting and scents went hand in hand.

But now, thanks to Namjoon and Yoongi, he did. And he was eager to try it.

He was too shy to ask his friends for something of theirs, but he shyly got some out of his parents. The rest were just his, and he smuggled in a shirt hoseok lended him after dance practice a few days ago - and had no intention of giving back now, too ashamed to admit to his hyung that he had nested with it. Hoseok smelled really nice, so he was excited to have it in his pile. Yoongi was very adamant to say that there's no wrong way to nest, all that mattered was that he felt happy in it.

So, he got to work, arranging a base to lay on top of. He used his parents' clothes for that, and a fluffy blanket that he liked a lot. Then, he put down another blanket to act as a roof once he would sneak in there. And the rest of the clothes and blankets went on top, messily. He was too eager to try it to care.

Soon enough, he was done and with a smile he sneaked inside of it, a smile immediately settling on his lips. He liked it. The layers of fabric on top of him weighed on him, which made his body immediately relax. He reached out for hoseok's t-shirt and brought it closer to himself, the light floral scent on it mixing with the other ones from the other clothes in a pleasant concauxion. The result was a soft, musky scent, and Jeongguk felt it going from his nose to his head, settling his mind into a nice, white peace. All was still for a moment, and he was still smiling to himself.

It was nice.

Then, he took out his phone and opened the chat with his two hyungs. He texted them that he had nested, he was in a nest for the first time in his life. It took them a few minutes to reply, which Jeongguk didn't mind, not when he could just close his eyes and bask in the comfort the experience was bringing him. But finally, he heard a little ding from his phone, and as soon as he unlocked it, a message of congratulations met him, attached to it, a picture of Namjoon and Yoongi next to each other, smiling brightly at the camera. He smiled back, bunny teeth peeking from his lips, and put his phone back down. He did well, he could take a nap for a little while.

Or so he thought, before another ding woke him up from the nice feeling of stillness he was feeling. Curious, he grabbed his phone and again.

Namjoonie-hyung: would you like to face time us and show us your nest?

Jeongguk felt a little jump in his heartbeat. The request was intimate, and they had never face timed before. The two older omegas had seen pictures of him before, sure, but it was usually studied selfies, maybe with a little bit of makeup on. But yet, what he found himself to focus the most was that he could show someone his nest, something he made. And they would be proud of it, of him. They had to be, because his nest felt so nice and was so comfy, Namjoon and Yoongi would definitely love it if they could feel it with him. He wanted that. So, without even replying in the chat, he called them, staring equal parts excitedly and nervously at his face on the screen, until it got smaller as his hyungs appeared instead. Namjoon was closer, he assumed he was the one holding the phone, and Yoongi peaked from the side, looking basically draped over the other. Their faces looked eager, and they expanded into a happy smile the moment they saw Jeongguk.

"Hi Koo."

"Hey, how does your nest feel?"

Jeongguk hummed happily at their greetings. They both had nice, soothing voices. He thought for a moment that if he were to call Hoseok, the effect would be the same, and he giggled to himself.

"It's really nice. I should have tried this before. I mean, I knew nests were a thing, but I just didn't think putting this much thought into it would make a difference," He rambled, his face squished into the fluffy blanket beneath him.

Namjoon's smile got smaller, but his face didn't get any less soft.

"It's the thought and care you put into it that makes it really special, as well as the traces of the people you love," He said, which Jeongguk couldn't help but snort at.

"That sounds so philosophical. Did you get it from a tumblr blog?"

They all laughed and bantered, until they fell into comfortable chatter. They goofed, they talked about everything and nothing, until Yoongi pointed out how him and Namjoon had work to get to. It took some convincing to get two pouty babies to hang up, but he managed and then, finally, Jeongguk could take his long awaited nap. A smile was on his lips the whole time, and halfway through it he clutched the white tee which smelled like Hoseok to his chest.

When later, his father came to call him for dinner, Jeongguk felt like he was on a clout. He sat down at the table with his family, who didn't miss to notice how his mood was significantly better than the weeks before. However, they didn't prod. But he was well aware of the glint in their eyes when they were looking at him, then shooting glances at each other. But he didn't mind, for once, since he presented, he was genuinely happy, and he'd hold onto that as much as possible.

;;

The next few days, everything felt a little easier. It wasn’t like before, and maybe it never would, but he could talk to his parents quite well, better than before at least. Just the other day he sat through a whole movie with them and even cuddled up to his mom for a bit, without her touch making him want to slip right out of his skin and onto the floor and melt away. He’d personally call that progress.

So that day, he decided it was time to try going back to university.

He had the scent blockers Hoseok had helped him buy, Namjoon and Yoongi had offered him words of support for all of the previous day and his parents looked proudly at him as he left in the morning. He also told Hoseok they would be having lunch together that today, no exceptions allowed. So, he had quite a few things to motivate him.

And they turned out to be enough, because he made it through his morning lessons without much trouble. He was a little uncomfortable, granted, but he threw himself into taking notes or doodling and made it out alive. That was more than what he would have hoped for a few days before.

So, as his last morning class was dismissed and he could pack his bag to head to the cafeteria, he couldn’t help but feel quite proud of himself. He had to be okay with small steps, and that step definitely looked huge before taking it. So, he decided that he had all the right to be proud.

And it looked like he wasn’t the only one, because as soon as he walked through the cafeteria’s doors, two arms wrapped around his neck and he captured Hoseok’s smell before he could see him. It wrapped around him like a thick coat as his hyung pulled him into his own chest.

"Ggukie! You really are here, welcome back," His head popped out from behind Jeongguk’s shoulder and he beamed back shyly at his blinding smile.

"Hi hyung," He would fidget or scratch at the back of his neck, if he had more room to move, but Hoseok’s bear hug around his shoulder made it quite impossible, "Please let me go, we’re blocking the entrance."

Hoseok snickered, but thankfully he did let him go. They walked silently towards the closest empty table and sat down in front of each other.

Their cafeteria sadly did little to owe such a title, seeing as they didn’t serve any food, it was just a big room with a bunch of tables for them to consume their own lunch. But after a few months, Jeongguk had almost gotten over it. Almost. Or at least he wasn’t as vocally grumpy about it.

"How were your classes?" Hoseok’s words distracted him from the action of disgruntledly unravelling his handmade sandwich from tinfoil, and he slowed down the aggressive tug of his fingers.

"The usual. It’s economy, what do you expect?"

"Did you miss much?" The tone of the question was very sympathetic, and Jeongguk got it. Truly, he hadn’t picked a good major to now be skipping that many classes, but he was smart, he could remedy it somehow. Maybe with weeks of endless work and self-hatred for his stupidity, when his exams would be looming over him, as scary and insurmountable as a whole odyssean journey. But that was just life.

"I’ll work it out, don’t worry hyung!" He shrugged it off, finally taking the first bite out of his egg sandwich.

"Fine, if you say so. If you need help you can ask for a study group or something, you know?"

"Hyung, it’s alright. I’m a big boy," He grinned at his own choice of words, and the pinch between Hoseok’s eyebrows melted into an amused relaxation, before he rolled his eyes at him.

"Whatever."

Jeongguk was too hungry to start a new conversation topic or ask about Hoseok’s classes, at that moment, so he didn’t. He devoured half of his sandwich instead. But it looked like his hyung had a different idea

"Hey, maybe this isn’t a good moment for you, but I was thinking…"

Jeongguk raised his head, looking straight at him like a deer caught in headlights, cheeks stuffed of bread and eggs instead of grass.

"About the competition, you signed up for it, but do you still feel like doing it?"

Suddenly, swallowing that bite became much more difficult than the ones before. He took a moment to respond, his eyes shifting around nervously.

"I didn’t think about that," He muttered softly, because it was true. He had completely forgotten about the dance competition he was supposed to be working for.

It was a rather big one, for his standards as a small town boy. It took place in the biggest city in the province, and it was well renowned enough for some people from other provinces and even from the capital to apply. He was still amazed by the fact that his application was accepted, he had rarely felt as proud as when he got that email.

And yet, now he didn’t know anymore if he could do it.

Hoseok must have seen the way he was worrying even better than himself. He probably saw a line form in between his eyebrows and his eyes unfocus from the wooden surface of the table, before he realised himself and looked back up at him.

"I don’t know. I want to do it, but…" His eyes wandered off again, shaky. The seed of doubt was already taking over him, blossomed into a full size plant.

"Hey. Hey, Ggukie," Hoseok caught his attention back on himself, leaning over the table to look him in the eyes, "Don’t panic now, I know it’s kind of soon but I was thinking…"

Jeongguk worried his lip as he waited for Hoseok to go on, but it looked like he was the one getting shy now. He was even avoiding his gaze.

"Maybe we can change our submissions, to be a duo performance," He looked back into Jeongguk’s eyes, incredibly serious and intense.

"You mean… You want me to dance with you at the competition?"

"Yeah."

It was difficult to wrap his mind around the notion that Hoseok wanted to work together with him in a competitive situation. But as the first shock dissipated, it left space for other emotions. Shyness, excitement, pride for being someone his hyung would put his success on the line for. Jeongguk could make or break his performance, after all, he would be putting a whole lot of trust in him. Hoseok was never one to half-ass.

Even if they were friends, he wouldn't have asked him unless he thought he was up for the task, unless he thought his dancing was great.

"I want you to take part in it, it’d be your first performance like that! And I don’t want you to miss out on that just because it’s been a tough time for you. I could just take half of the load off your shoulders, you know?"

Oh, shy Hoseok was quite new. Sure, Jeongguk had seen him flustered when they praised him too much, which was quite often with, again, him being the oldest of them. But he had never seen him so actually insecure to ask for something. He was fidgety and it looked like he couldn’t make up his mind between facing away so that he wouldn’t get more embarrassed, and looking at Jeongguk to see his reaction. His eyes were constantly darting all over the place, his peculiar downward pout so accentuated it made his dimples pop out, it was cute. It made him smile and his arms itch to hug him, which was a weird new feeling, but he shrugged it off for the moment.

"That’s, like, unless you don’t feel like stepping on a stage yet."

Jeongguk realised that was a fair point. Did he want to dance on a stage, after presenting? Be seen as an omega by so many people who would judge him. He could wear scent blockers, hide from the other competitors, but that didn’t change the fact that the judges had his personal information. He had signed up as a "non-presented male", but his legal documents had since been changed to "omega male", they would probably rule out "non-presented" next to his name and write "omega" instead, once he was there and they’d check him in.

Or maybe he was overthinking, and they wouldn’t do any of that. There was no way of knowing for sure, sadly.

He sighed, and pushed aside that thought, there was no point in trying to predict what some strangers would do. Instead he focused on what he felt. A few adults would know that he was an omega, maybe, and they’d watch him dance. Still, he didn’t have to talk to them, it wasn’t that big of a deal, right? When he was dancing, he was distracted, all of his dance mates and teacher for the past few weeks knew that he was an omega and he was fine with that, as long as he was dancing. As long as the physical strain distracted him from the mess in his brain.

He raised his head, releasing his bottom lip from the torture inflicted by his teeth. Instead, he smiled in gratitude. He felt his eyes get a little more wet than usual, but he held his emotions back, as hard at it was. He wasn’t going to cry in his crappy cafeteria, over a soggy egg sandwich.

"I want to go, I would love to dance with you, hyungie. Thank you."

Dancing was his dream and his anchor, and something inside him screamed at him to not let it go. And he chose to listen to it.

;;

As the weeks passed, they were busy organising their new choreography. First, it was picking a new song that would suit both of their dancing styles, then it was actually coming up with a choreo. They didn’t have a lot of time before the competition, just shy of four weeks, but Hoseok was a really hard and focused worker. Which helped Jeongguk a lot, he probably wouldn’t have been able to work as much without him. Not in his current state, at least.

So, thanks to his hyung’s incredible skills, they were moving along pretty quickly. He was just telling that Namjoon and Yoongi, excitedly trying to explain this one dance move Hoseok came up with that he thought was absolutely genius.

They were on a video call, he had his phone propped up against the back of his economy book, so that he could gesticulate as much as he needed to explain himself. His hyungs were listening with small smiles on their lips, nodding along whenever Jeongguk stopped to ask if his explanation made sense, if they got it.

It was nice, even if Yoongi and Namjoon knew close to nothing about dance, they put in the effort to understand him and always asked him how their choreography was coming along.

Since their first facetime, they had done this a few times more, sometimes while they were all nesting, other times they didn’t have the time for that and they just chatted. Sometimes it was just him and Namjoon, while Yoongi was focused on finishing up some project for work, but still appreciated having their chattering in the background. He claimed it relaxed him.

"That sounds difficult," Yoongi suddenly commented to the move he was talking about, interrupting Jeongguk from his little rant.

He wasn’t mad about it, but when he was too focused on his own rambles, snapping out of it meant he often completely lost track of what he was talking about just a moment before. The same thing happened then, and he blushed and lowered his head, trying to think of anything to say instead, to get any conversation going and fill the awkward silence.

"Anyway- What about you guys? Did you finish that project you told me about last time, Yoongi-hyung?" He remembered how stressed he looked then, he was more fidgety and his frown was deeper, as he typed ferociously on his laptop and leaned in so close that he could probably get inside of it if he tried hard enough.

That time, not even Namjoon and his chatter could relax him much.

This time, Yoongi didn’t look that stressed anymore, he was chuckling and was back to his usual laid back self. So, he assumed he was done, and no longer had deadlines looming behind the corner.

"Yeah, I sent it off to the senior architect, but I’m pretty sure he just sent it to the manager without even looking. Whatever, I’m waiting to hear from her now."

Jeongguk nodded along, and then eventually, as they seeped into quietness again, he noticed that Namjoon looked a little on edge. He was looking around, and he seemed to be shaking, probably bouncing his leg outside of the camera. He looked nervous, and that made him frown in immediate concern.

"Hyung? Is everything alright?"

Namjoon’s brown eyes darted back to the phone, widened, he looked ashamed of being caught.

"Ah, It’s that… you see," He trailed off, lowering his gaze again as a shy smile settled on his lips.

Jeongguk waited patiently, and so did Yoongi. His hand looked ready to reach for him, to comfort, but he held it back. Not yet.

"I’m going to have my heat in a couple of weeks, and me and Yoongi were wondering..." He looked at him, then away again.

This was happening a lot, apparently, first with Hoseok and now Namjoon. They were cute when shy, Namjoon especially looked much tinier than usual.

"Maybe you’d like to see what it’s like? For me?" He raised his head, and this time he kept it straight. He didn’t have a habit of biting his lip, apparently, but he could see from the way his arms jerked and moved, that he was rubbing his hands together or toying with them in some way.

"What do you mean?" Jeongguk asked, his lips staying parted in surprise.

"What we mean is," Yoongi chimed in, "That we could facetime, whenever we can and Joonie feels like it. Since maybe you’d like to… apply our techniques to your heats as well, it would be nice to just show you."

Jeongguk took a moment to think about what they were actually suggesting. Seeing an older couple deal with one’s heat felt taboo, something that he shouldn’t be prying into. But he knew Namjoon didn’t want sex, and he had asked so he cleary trusted Jeongguk enough to see him in such a vulnerable situation. He should just shake off the preconception he had and say yes.

So he did.

"Yeah, okay," He looked up, closing his lips into a nervous smile, "That could help."

He saw relief wash over the both of them, on the other line. Their nervous expressions melted into smiles and they fell back into each other’s sides, closer and more comfortable.

"Okay. Good."

"Good," Jeongguk echoed.

"Do you want a rundown now? Of what to expect?" Yoongi offered, before looking at Namjoon with furrowed brows. Apparently, he read that look as an implicit question, because he nodded in return, and Yoongi turned back to Jeongguk confidently.

"Sure."

"Well, where to start…"

"As you know, I don’t want sex, at all. Makes me freak out," Namjoon broke the ice, "But cuddles are very welcome, I like to be talked to, too."

"You know, warmth helps relax the muscles, so a heat pad is a very big help," Yoongi added suddenly, stricken with that sudden thought to the point of lifting himself up from the back of the couch.

"Yeah, it gets my uterus to calm the fuck down a little."

"Yeah that," Yoongi laughed along with the two of them, "But it gets hot very quickly, and it gets very uncomfortable because, you know... it’s in the name. Being in heat means you feel like you’re in the pits of hell and satan is roasting you on his devilish barbecue."

They laughed again, but mostly it was just Jeongguk and Namjoon, while Yoongi smiled to himself, smug from the knowledge that they found him funny.

"So we have to go back and forth between baths and the heat pad. And of course, nesting in my stuff calms him down, but that only makes him heat up faster. So, yeah, it’s not pretty, but it is what it is."

"‘M sorry hyung."

"Shut up, silly," Yoongi shut Namjoon up immediately, and the sight warmed Jeongguk’s heart.

Namjoon was giving his boyfriend very obvious heart eyes, while Yoongi had a serious look on his face, turning towards him as if to scold him just with his gaze. They leaned towards each other and shared a small kiss. Some tender little thing, just barely long enough that you wouldn’t call it a peck.

It wasn’t often that they kissed in front of Jeongguk, or displayed much affection besides sitting close or cuddling a little into each other. They didn’t seem like the couple to share much PDA in front of their friends, but it wasn’t like Jeongguk was uncomfortable with it. They were cute together, their little displays of affection made him want to coo.

"Thankfully, it’s only this bad on the first day, and when each wave passes we can just cuddle and he’s more or less fine," Yoongi continued once they pulled away from the kiss.

"Yeah. That part’s nice," Namjoon smiled and Jeongguk found himself smiling back.

"I’m glad to hear that."

"Would you like to try that with someone?" Yoongi asked, "It gets hard to look after yourself in a situation like that, you should consider it."

"But it has to be someone you trust, it’s something very intimate regardless of how sexual it is."

Jeongguk nodded slowly, and once again he found himself needing to mull over their words. What would be the harm in trying? He had heats whether he liked it or not, and Namjoon and Yoongi’s way of dealing with them, from the little they just told him, sounded nice enough. Sounded like something he could maybe enjoy.

"Yeah, I think… I think I’ll consider it. Maybe after I see Joon’s heat," For the moment, that sounded good enough to him. He’d think about it, it was a big decision after all, to let someone in during his heat. Especially considering how bad he had reacted to his own mothers the first time.

"Take your time, Koo," Namjoon assured him softly, both him and Yoongi were smiling at him, ever so understanding.

"Do you have someone you could ask?"

Jeongguk weighed his options for a moment. Did he? It didn’t take long to find the only possible answer.

"Hoseok," He said quietly, sheepishly smiling at his hyungs. They nodded and smiled back.

"Well, then take your time to consider it, but I’m sure he would be willing to. Sounds like he’s already willing to do a lot of things for you."

Namjoon’s words rang true, reminding him of how kind Hoseok had been to him lately. He was there for him, always asking how he was, offering to help him for the competition. Even when that meant restarting his own work from scratch. Hoseok would probably say yes, probably do something embarrassing like tear up and squeal in front of him.

Yet, he had to give it some thought. It was a very important request to make, more importantly he had to be sure that he wanted to try this.

Jeongguk looked up at his hyungs and smiled a little brighter Yeah, he could think about it for some time, his next heat was still over a month ahead of him.

;;

It was pretty late when Jeongguk got home after dance practice, that day. Him and Hoseok stayed behind to work a bit more on their duo for the competition. It was coming along, but the choreography needed much tweaking and perfectioning still.

He crossed the entrance as he was still all up in his thoughts about dance moves, his hand jerking to simulate, on a tinier scale, a move he was unsure about. Suddenly, he was brought back to reality by his mother's voice coming from the kitchen. He was midway taking off his coat, so he scrambled to do it faster and walked over there.

"What is it?" He asked.

His mother was standing behind the kitchen island, an apron tied around her waist and some ingredients he couldn't immediately identify sitting in front of her.

"Hi baby. I was wondering if you would like to help me with dinner? It's fine if you're tired, but I was thinking I should maybe teach you a family recipe?" She awkwardly rubbed her palms on the rough fabric of the apron, over her waist.

Jeongguk knew what this was about - it was about him presenting as omega. Yes, his mother was an alpha, but he remembered his omega grandfather complaining about none of his children turning out to be omegas, when he was younger. He was old-fashioned, and expressed his distaste about having to teach his family specialties to a bunch of alphas. It was more of a family joke, something all of them welcomed with bright laughter and banter. He knew his grandpa wished to teach his omega grandchildren his recipes the most. Unfortunately, he had died before he could teach Jeongguk.

He could see it in his mother's eyes, it was a big deal for her. Which was why he wished he didn't feel as uncomfortable with the idea as he did.

Still, he nodded and put on a small smile.

"Sure, let me go change first."

His mother looked relieved, she seemed to suddenly deflate almost, like she was unconsciously holding her breath until then. She smiled back and he felt even worse.

Silently, he walked to his bedroom and put his bag down on the ground, with a small sigh. He didn't understand what was going on. He had always liked cooking, it wasn't something he considered himself especially talented in, but he enjoyed helping his mothers out with it when they were cooking something a little more complicated. Yet, at that moment the thought of being taught whatever recipe from his grandfather made him want to crawl out of his skin, even though he had always looked up to him as a kid. What was wrong with him?

He dragged himself to the bathroom, where he washed his hands and tied the top part of his hair up in a bun, so that it wouldn't disturb him and hopefully he wouldn't lose hair in their food. Then, he got back to his room and changed out of his school clothes and into whatever he found on his chair.

Once he got back to the kitchen, his mother had already started on dinner, he could see her knead energetically at some sort of dough.

"I'm back." he announced himself, as he walked to wash his hands once more, for good measure.

His mother turned towards him with a big smile, her eyes sparkled just like his used to.

;;

Jeongguk had waited anxiously for that moment, the Wonju dance competition. Sure, it didn't sound that fancy on paper, since it wasn’t in the capital, but a lot of scouts went to those sort of events. They could get scouted for private schools, dance groups, hell, kpop companies even. Although they weren’t specifically looking for any of those opportunities, Jeongguk was dreaming of getting out of there with a business card or two. Plus, a friend of Hoseok's, some dude from his year named Yunsoo, came with the specific task of filming them, he had a big fancy camera that Jeongguk could only dream of. It was only going up on their school’s website, but it still sounded cool enough to have his blood pumping.

So, it was safe to say that he was excited, and it showed. He had a big smile on his lips as he chatted Hoseok's ears off on the train, leaving out his friend who didn't understand dance lingo, but screw it. If he couldn't be excited for such an occasion, then when could he?

Once they got to their destination, they had to find the motel they were staying at. The competition was scheduled to end quite late in the evening, and they didn’t really want to travel back at night, exhausted from performing.

It took them some time, but they found it, and Jeongguk immediately abandoned his suitcase in the middle of the room and jumped on the single bed closest to the window.

"I want to sleep here, please!"

"You're such a brat," Hoseok frowned and disapprovingly shook his head at him.

There was another bed opposite to his, then another one closer to the door, which Hoseok and his friend divided between the two of them pretty peacefully. Not that Jeongguk was listening, he had his eyes set on the ceiling, but his mind was elsewhere, daydreaming about the next day.

"Earth to Guk?" He suddenly heard, and immediately shot up into a sitting position.

"Huh?"

It was his hyung, who had a big smile plastered to his face. He wasn't the only excited one, far from it.

"We should start getting ready, we’re not going to be late."

Jeongguk nodded eagerly, he jumped off his bed and opened his suitcase. He had prepared from home a bag with his clothes and make up for that night. As he waited for his turn in the bathroom, he checked his phone, now that he had his hands free. As well as his parents, Namjoon had also asked if he was in Wonju safely yet. He smiled and opened the group chat, to reassure his hyungs.

;;

The hallway to the changing rooms was cramped and noisy, Jeongguk almost wanted to put his hands over his ears. They didn't have a room for each of them, which was nothing new for him, he was used to the scene. They had figured an order in which to change, based on subgender for everyone's comfort, and now he was crouching on the floor, trying not to get stomped on by any passerby, in only his stage clothes. The sky blue satin button down he had on was beautiful, with the way it reflected the light in little specks of rainbow, but did nothing to shield him from the cold air of the corridors. The black dress pants he was wearing were also too light to sit on the bare floor, and he had to resort to squatting against the wall instead. Damn the fact that they had to wear light materials in order to have a full range of motion while they danced, he was freezing.

He was chewing nervously on the pastel blue plastic straw of the boba tea Hoseok and he were sharing - because too many liquids before dancing were a big no and they wouldn't make that mistake like some principiants. Hoseok was still inside changing, and he was out there in the cold. Damn him for not thinking about taking a hoodie from his bag.

He huffed and looked up from his phone, studying the people around him. They looked roughly around his age, but he wasn't the best at judging such things. One person was sitting in front of him however, in a similar position to him, but they were even more hidden, less likely to be stepped on.

They were sitting on some steps that only God knew where they led, but they looked dusty and not worth an exploration. The person, who looked like a boy but he wasn't going to go and assume, had a jacket on, a hood pulled half-hazardly over their blonde fringe - lucky. They had a delicate face, full lips, which shined in the light coming from the screen of their phone, making him think they were wearing gloss.

Jeongguk didn't know exactly how long he had been looking at that stranger for - hopefully not that long, right? But after a while, they ended up looking back up at him, and he parted his lips in an 'o' shape, trying not to look too guilty about being caught. Thankfully, they seemed not to take offense in it, as they gave him a small smile and curled back on themselves, focusing back on the phone in their hand. Jeongguk tried to tear his eyes away and not look back at them again, but it seemed like he couldn't. Once he focused on something or someone, his eyes just trailed back to it or them against his better judgment, and the same thing was going on then.

He mentally thanked anything that could possibly be in the sky, when finally Hoseok walked out of the changing room, loud as always, and claimed the boba tea back. He handed it to him and made him some space to crash onto the floor with him. They played on their phones together and waited for their turn to rehearse on the stage. It was pretty big, Jeongukk had managed to get a brief look at it before they were all pushed up there to get ready. He couldn't wait to get on it.

Time goes on quickly at shows and competitions, Jeongguk had come to know that. One moment, you have to change quickly, then it seems to stop in a fury of sparkly fabrics and make up, of shouted words and laughter, then before you know it you're on the stage and you don't know how that happened. Maybe it was the adrenaline, he wasn't sure. Whatever it was, it seemed to have happened that day too.

The rehearsals took place without any major problems, Hoseok and him were as in sync as usual, and suddenly he was backstage, waiting for their names to be called.

He was peeking carefully at the small group dancing on stage, when a faint squeak to his right suddenly called his attention. He turned, curiously, and funnily enough, there was the same stranger from the changing rooms, tripping on someone’s ballet shoes abandoned on the ground. Their cheeks burned bright red with shame, as soon as they noticed the few pairs of eyes they had attracted on themselves. The denim jacket from earlier was gone, leaving place to a white shirt, the material of it so light that he could see the ghost of black drawings on his torso, as well as the lovely pink tint of his skin. It was paired with a pair of dress pants, white as the snow as well.

"Do you have to perform next? We'll move out of your way!" Hoseok suddenly spoke up, and Jeongguk realised that the person was much closer than he initially thought.

"Oh! No, no, it's okay. I was just trying to take a peek out there."

Hoseok moved back and so did Jeongguk, trying to avoid them bumping into each other. The stranger smiled gratefully at them and bowed, before walking closer to look outside. They were now right in front of him and he could see their pretty side profile, the gentle curve formed by the little bump on his nose.

"You're not from around here, are you? You look quite like the city boy," Jeongguk looked at his hyung in reprimand, and contemplated nudging him, preferably painfully. He had taught him to ask for people's genders before assuming.

"Are you a boy?" He spoke up, cutting their conversation off and earning himself a couple of weird looks. He blushed, "You know, what are your pronouns?"

"Oh! It's he/him. Thanks for asking," The boy's confused expression mutated into a smile so suddenly, Jeongguk felt quite stunned by it. Especially because he didn't think he could ever find someone with a smile more beautiful than Hoseok's. But surely, that person's made a run for its title, at least, "Yours?"

Jeongguk nodded a bit too vigorously, "Same!"

"Same for me," Hoseok added from his left.

"And yes, I live in Seoul. How could you tell?"

"I don't know, you look nice? Definitely more polished than us country bumpkins. You have that shine."

He blushed, pink looked nice on those plush cheeks.

"Oh, please!" He waved a hand in front of his face, then cupped it around his cheek, hiding his smiling mouth in the heel of it.

"Well, that and the fact that I don't remember you," Hoseok explained with a cheeky smile. "I’ve been to this competition quite a few times, and this year apparently there were a lot more Seoul applicants."

"That makes sense," Jimin giggled, only pulling his hand away from his face once he had stopped, "But, hey, you guys look great too, and you killed it at the rehearsals. I'm looking forward to your performance."

Jeongguk thought his brain must have short-circuited when the boy turned his pretty, closed-mouth smile towards him. His eyes looked kind, as if he wanted to make sure he knew the compliment was extended to him as well.

"Thanks. We couldn't see yours, I don't think. But I'm looking forward to it now."

"We did see it," He finally spoke up again, once again abruptly bringing the attention to himself. Gosh, he was a mess, "He did contemporary dance, the one with that white scarf."

He grew quieter the longer he spoke, as he got more shy. The boy was watching him, he looked pleasantly surprised that Jeongguk remembered his performance.

"What did you think of it?" He asked, his voice sounded so mellow.

"I think it was really good. Like, really really good," He stumbled on his words and looked down, not able to deal with that beautiful, coy smile a second longer.

He heard a giggle and he felt his cheeks grow redder and warmer. He was embarrassing himself so much in front of this new person, when Jeongguk remembered his choreography as clear as day, from how much he had been stunned by it, even when he could only watch it from such an awkward angle. It was still so mesmerizing, that boy had such grace and agility in every inch of his body, more than he could ever accomplish himself. He knew that he was an omega, now that he was close enough to somehow discern his scent from those of the people around and who had passed there before them, from the smell of talc, fabric and wood. He could smell a delicate scent, something sweet with a pungent undertone to it. It was his, and it was an omega scent. That knowledge made his stomach turn.

Jeongguk was not only embarrassed, he was an embarrassment of an omega. But he, albeit difficultly, swallowed down that feeling that had the weight of a brick in his throat. He pushed it down and smiled back at the beautiful omega in front of him.

"Really, I'm afraid you might beat us. You could seriously win, but I kinda hope you do," He finished his previous thoughts, looking straight into the other's eyes.

He seemed to have surprised him again, because the dancer from Seoul blushed more and once again hid behind his small hand.

"Wow, are you two buttering up to me? What could you possibly need from me, I have nothing for you!" He giggled and moved his hand again, like before, as if to wave away their praises.

"Aw, don't say that," Hoseok chimed in again, always the happy pill, "Jeongguk doesn't hand around praise for nothing, I know he looks so sweet at first, but he's a mean one. And a perfectionist, too. The worst kind!"

Jeongguk frowned and pushed his best friend back, pressing on his chest with the palm of his hand, "You're a perfectionist too! Don't listen to him, he made me cry when I was younger."

"Hey! I said sorry for that, I brought you hot chocolate and sat with you, too."

The guy was doubled over from laughter, by then, stray blonde hair covering his eyes from Jeongguk's view. He was definitely the kind of person to laugh with his whole body, that, if you were in confidence with them, would fall over your lap or your shoulder as they laughed. His laughter was gorgeous, too.

"You guys are hilarious. I would give everything to have a dance partner like you two," He rubbed gently at the side of his eye, a lone tear transferred from his black lashes to his index finger.

Jeokgguk and Hoseok couldn't help but give each other a look, and he found a prideful expression on his hyung's face. He smiled back, the bad feeling from before was gone, now he only felt warmth.

"So, your name's Jeongguk?" his head snapped back to face him, once he felt himself be called.

"Yes!" He nodded.

"What about you?"

"Hoseok, you?"

"I'm Jimin."

Jimin, he even had a pretty name, goddamnit.

"Well, would you like to grab dinner with us, after this?"

Jimin looked pleasantly surprised, he was practically beaming as he nodded, pretty golden locks bouncing and then falling to frame his delicate face.

;;

Jeongguk and Hoseok went in before Jimin. They killed it, there were a few instances where their movements weren't perfectly accurate, but the audience loved it.

Once they were done, he rushed Hoseok to the changing rooms. He grabbed his hand as soon as they were in the hallway, away from judgemental eyes, and practically ran up the stairs.

"Woah, Gguk what's going on?" He screeched, as he stumbled after him best as he could.

"Hurry up and change! There's only like a couple of people between us and Jimin."

Immediately, Hoseok seemed a lot less reluctant and ran with him. They changed at light speed, laughing when they'd get stuck in pieces of clothing, the sweat making them stick like a second skin. Once they had warm, dry clothes on, it was time to run back to the theatre. There were many empty spots in the last few rows, so they had no problem slipping into some seats by the side. They had made it in time, the girl currently on stage was definitely before Jimin. Jeongguk remembered her slow breathing exercises in the backstage, as she tried to calm down before her turn. She was white as a sheet back there, but she was doing alright now. Nothing as spectacular as Jimin, but she was good.

They watched in silence, until finally Jimin was walking on the stage.

Even before, he looked really pretty to Jeongguk, so much so that he looked almost like a vision, like he had to look twice to make sure he was actually there and he wasn't a fairy that had already disappeared. But then, stepping on the stage with his chin high, blush gone and eyes that no longer looked like little crescent moons, but rather hooded and passionate; he looked ethereal then. Like a deity.

The completely white clothes helped that association, as did his graceful steps across the wooden floor. He stopped in the middle and closed his eyes, a moment before getting into position and waiting for the music to start.

Jeongguk only noticed he was holding his breath once Jimin started to move, his arms holding the scarf out like a flag, as his foot made its first movement across the stage; and his breath was knocked out of him. The white, thin fabric he was holding spread out behind him like wings, then immediately he started to dance, the scarf following him, gliding through the air. Jimin looked like he weighed just as much as that scarf, as he performed a series of articulate dance moves like it took him no effort at all. There was no smile on his face, his eyes were serious, they looked slanted and cut deep like blades.

Jeongguk was right, it was even more magnificent seen from the front. From backstage, Jimin looked more wounded, in pain, a bird whose wings were clipped. Instead, that time he looked like a strong, beautiful swan. Or a dove, spreading its wings and flying as high as the sun. Or close to it, like Icarus did before plummeting back to Earth.

The music stopped on Jimin standing still, with no flare left. The scarf had wrapped itself around his shoulder, and he looked so tiny. Still so beautiful, but human, no longer a deity.

The audience clapped, and Jeongguk and Hoseok made an effort to be heard. They stood up from their red velvet chairs and hollered. They clapped the hardest and waved to make themselves seen. Jeongguk couldn't tell for sure if Jimin could spot them in the crowd, but he was smiling so widely on stage, bowing profusely, and seeing him happy about the reaction he got was enough for him. His eyes were crescents again.

;;

The dinner with Jimin went as nicely as Jeongguk could ever hope for. The guy was awfully sweet, the three of them had clicked together well and joked around over barbecue meat the whole night. They laughed loud, so loud that they had received some glares of reprimand from the neighbouring tables. They tried to keep it quiet, when that happened, but they just couldn’t help it.

Once they left the place, much to the owner’s delight, Jeongguk felt full and happy. This had to be one of the best nights ever, he was proud of his dancing, made a new friend, and never felt too bad about being an omega. So, maybe he was particularly cheery as he exchanged numbers with Jimin, maybe he even went the extra mile and hugged him as they were saying goodbye.

But so what? Jimin was a very nice person. Who deserved to be hugged.

"You were weird tonight," Hoseok was watching him closely, but he stubbornly kept his eyes on the street in front of them.

They were walking back to the hotel, where apparently Hoseok’s friend was already. He had texted him earlier and made sure of it.

"Was I? How so?" He pushed on, but with an ironic tone that let his hyung know just how much he'd rather he didn't pry.

But of course Hoseok, the loud gossip addict idiot that he was, ignored all social cues and nagged him more.

"Yeah! You're always shy, don't get me wrong. But with Jimin you were a total disaster."

"Thanks. Appreciate the compliment," The bite in his voice was totally fake, at least at first. If only he knew it was only going to get worse from there so he could stop it.

Hoseok let out a string of forced laughter, letting him know just how much he appreciated his sarcasm. Jeongguk reiterated by blowing a very mature raspberry in his general direction, but still refusing to look at him directly.

"But I also noticed..." Hoseok ignored the way Jeongguk rolled his eyes, as he turned forward again, gripping his bag's single strap tightly, "That, you know, you warmed up to him. Real fast. It was pretty impressive, actually"

"What are you hinting at, Hoseok hyung?"

"You obviously like him."

"Woah, woah," Jeongguk finally looked back into the other's eyes, but with a glare, "I don't obviously like anyone, I barely know him. I just think he's cool."

"Cool enough to date!"

Jeongguk groaned in frustration, he could see Hoseok's smug grin from the corner of his eyes and he wished he had a way to wipe it off his face. He was so annoying, when he tried. And he liked to do so fairly often.

"I didn't know you swung that way, wow! Do you think he likes omegas?"

Jeongguk didn’t even grace that with a reply, he just softly sighed and walked faster. Maybe, the sooner he was to the hotel the faster he could shrug off the conversation and Hoseok wouldn’t remember the next day. For some reason, this whole thing about him "liking Jimin" made him a lot more uncomfortable than it should. Maybe he was gay, but then what? The fact that it seemed like a big deal to Hoseok for the first time made something ugly bubble inside of him.

"Are you going to shoot your shot with Jimin? You can text him, you know. Long distance isn't that bad."

"Hoseok, i'm not going to 'shoot my shot' with anyone."

"Why not? Jimin looks so nice! You don't think he's into omegas?"

And suddenly, that ugly feeling rose enough to reach his throat, it made it itch and made tears prick at the corners of his eyes. It was too much to keep in, he had to let it out, fearful that otherwise it would kill him.

"I'm not an omega!" He suddenly shouted.

They had both stopped dead in their tracks and once he came to, he realised just how laboured his breath was. And just how shocked Hoseok looked, he was staring at him like he just did something terribly awful, like kick a puppy or something. Jeongguk felt like throwing up.

"What do you mean, Gguk?" He heard him say softly, but he couldn't find the strength to reply - he wasn’t sure he could even breathe, at the moment, "I know you've had a hard time since you..."

"No, hoseok, shut up. You don't understand."

He felt so bad for yelling at his best friend already, he knew he was fucking up. But he felt like he was breaking at the seams and he couldn't stop. Everything hurt and he had to get out that thought that had been growing inside of him, before it got too greedy and ate him up whole.

"I can't be an omega, I can't."

Everything was kind of a blurry, after that point, after he started crying. But he felt Hoseok's hands on his shoulders, gentle and discreet enough, while his body kept at a distance. They were guiding him back to the hotel, warm and solid on his shaking torso. They grounded him enough not to spiral into a panic attack. It was enough to get them back safely.

He didn't remember, however, cleaning up his makeup or doing any of his skincare. However, the next morning when he woke up alone in the hotel room and stumbled to the bathroom, his face was clean, although a little dry. He washed his face with fresh water and applied some lotion, hoping it would be enough to soothe it for the moment. Him and Hoseok had brough sheet masks to do together at night, but they were still sitting on the desk, reminding Jeongguk of how royally he had fucked up the previous night. He sighed and trailed his hands over his face, they felt cold after being under the running water and it soothed his puffy, sleepy face.

Memories from last night came running to him like a train. He had yelled at his hyung. He never yelled, and surely he never expected for the one time he did to be at his hyung, who he respected and admired more than anyone. But at the time, he had simply felt miserable, the frustration of not being able to express the way he felt had finally exploded after weeks of penting up inside him. He had felt like it had filled every little vein and even the smaller blood vessels, from his heart to the tip of his fingers.

And then, after letting it out in one of the worst ways possible, he felt exhausted and disappointed. He slept like a log to the late morning, apparently, because Hoseok and his friend got ready and left without him, and he hadn’t heard a thing.

Hoseok must have been mad, to leave him behind like that. But at the same time, he had taken the time to wipe his makeup off the previous night and took his shoes and socks off. He was such a good friend, while Jeongguk was such a fucking idiot.

He silently got ready for the day, it took him so long that when he checked his phone again it had been over a hour. He was completely unfocused, and yet he couldn’t recall a single thing that he had been thinking. It felt like his mind was empty, so empty that it was like a black hole and it was swallowing everything. Thoughts, time, his emotions even.

He sighed and sat on the bed to put his shoes on.

After changing and packing his very few belongings (they were only staying for one night after all), he walked down to the hotel hall. The young man at the desk told him that Hoseok and his friend had left already, and only left his third of the bill to pay. He did so without a word more than what was courtesy, and then off he went to explore the city. Alone.

After putting his earplugs in, with comforting mellow beats to distract him from the pain, he wondered for a couple of hours, taking pictures of pretty much everything. He enjoyed spending his time alone, that much had always been true, so he sometimes took walks like that. With his phone on airplane mode, just some music and his camera. But that day was different. That day, he truly didn't feel like being alone, but he didn't have much of a choice.

He had never had a fight with Hoseok before, not one like that. Sure they might have had some disagreements especially lately with the competition and having to come up with their own choreography, they often butted heads. But this felt so much different, they had never let a fight continue on until the following day, if anything they met up first thing the next day and sorted it out. Instead, Hoseok had let him sleep and snuck out. What did that mean?

He was afraid to find out.

So he didn't call Hoseok, he just hung around until it was time for their train back home, and he found Hoseok and his friend sitting at the Mc Donald's in the station, looking at him with watchful eyes over their big burgers. He sighed as he sat across from Hoseok, with his own cheeseburger and greasy fries. That Yunsoo dude told him about their train's slight delay and at which platform it was departing from, even made small talk and asked what he had done all that time. But Hoseok didn't speak a word to him.

It was the same for the whole train ride. He spoke a little to his friend, but mostly he was silent and avoided eye contact by staying on his phone or watching out of the window, which he had insisted he sit by. Not like Jeongguk was desperate to make eye contact, he was so scared of what he would find, that he was gladly keeping to himself too.

He was too terrified to know just how bad he had screwed up. So, he didn't dare bring it up.

Hoseok wasn't saying anything either, and he couldn't figure out why. He hadn't done anything wrong, so he couldn't have Jeongguk's same fear. Maybe what he said last night was really that awful. He did tell him to shut up, when Hoseok was his hyung.

But he had always been understanding before, he didn't seem prideful enough to ignore Jeongguk over something like that. No, that was more of a Yoongi thing to do, he was stubborn like that. Hoseok wasn't. But maybe he was too mean this time, even for his Hoseok hyung.

Or was he confused that Jeongguk wasn't an omega? Well, he was too, fuck!

Apparently, they were both very confused, or scared, or whatever it was. Because neither of them spoke a word to each other that whole train ride. Nor for the following weeks.