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//TW\\
HITTING
ARGUING
GASLIGHTING
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I sat next to my not so loving boyfriend and stared down at my phone. I smiled at the beautiful photo of a field of white flowers decorating the green hill and quickly turned towards the tall man beside me.
"Tsuki look at how pretty-"
"Shut up" His cold tone pierced through my chest and into my heart. I quickly turned back around and fiddled with my hands to calm myself before going back to quietly scrolling through Instagram.
Tsuki never bothered to listen to me when we got together. He was nicer before we got together. I miss that, but he's just bad at expressing his feelings.
...
Right...?
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I tried telling Tsuki how I felt about him treating me like this, but he won't let me speak more than a couple of words.
It's frustrating and makes me sad, but I shouldn't lash out. This is just a phase in our relationship that will pass soon.
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Dread.
Oikawa encouraged me to finally tell Tsuki and not stop just because he tells me to.
Dread is dragging through my insides, and I'm so nervous. Maybe this will be the final push and this horrible phase will end. We'll be happy then. Then we'll get married and get a dog!
The dread is slowly lifting from my stomach and I confidently walk over to Tsuki.
Tsuki barely acknowledges my presence, but I quickly catch his attention when I tell him we need to talk. He looks over at me with an unamused expression.
"Tsuki could you please-"
"Shut up"
My blood boils, but I quickly stomp it down, and I simply try again.
"Could you-" I say in a faster tone, so maybe I can say what I want before he shuts me down.
His face grows annoyed, and he turns away from me and doesn't hesitate to coldly shoot down my 2nd attempt.
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This happens 2 more times.
Anger fills my brain and clouds my rational thinking and judgment. Without thinking, I lash out.
"TSUKI JUST FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!" I finally yell out, the balloon filled with pent-up frustration and anger finally pops.
That definitely catches his attention, and he looks at me with a mix of shock and anger. He says something but my anger blocks it all out.
"YOU ACT LIKE A GROUCHY TODDLER AND FUCKING STILL EXPECT RESPECT! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME SPEAK?! WHY?!
He takes an offended step back, and we continue arguing for almost 2 hours. Which doesn't seem like a lot, but it's different when it's arguing with someone that you trust, respect,and dating.
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We've been fighting every day for around a month.
Today was much different though. It started no different from the past month but today got violent.
We were arguing then half a second later I'm on the floor with a red hand mark on my pale freckly cheek. I look up at him with a surprised and almost scared look. He instantly snaps back into reality and reaches a hand out once he realizes his mistake. I don't take his hand but instead crawl back, tears nearly forming in my eyes. His face flashes with regret and sadness. My mind is racing, and I start to look for some way out before my tears burst from my eyes.
My eyes dart around for the door and I scramble to get up but mange to stand and reach the door before Tsuki can snap out of the shock. He realizes and starts walking towards me.
"Yams wait. Please. I- I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking-"
I slam the door and run to my car before he can catch up. I pull out of his driveway and drive to the nearest gas station to cool down, so I don't crash on the road. I buy some Pringles and a small bottle of Sprite before walking back to my car. The cashier gave me a sad and pitiful look once they looked at the red hand mark shape on my face that might be bruising.
Suddenly my Ariana Grande ringtone starts playing, and I pull out my phone to see who's calling me. I already know it's probably Tsuki, but I still check. I'm also met with around 20 messages from him.
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Tsukishima
Tsukishima
Yams please
I'm sorry
It was an accident
Yams please answer
baby I'm sorry
Please yams
Please come back
we can cuddle and watch a movie
Yams I said I was sorry
Yamaguchi y'know I'm sorry
It wasn't even that hard of a slap
I barely touched you
You're making a big deal out of this
please just come back
I've been with you through everything, and you're leaving me because I barely touched you?
I won't do it again
I promise
______________
I typed a long message and sent it before leaning my head back and closing my eyes.
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Tsukishima
Tsukishima
Yams please
I'm sorry
It was an accident
Yams please answer
baby I'm sorry
Please yams
Please come back
we can cuddle and watch a movie
Yams I said I was sorry
Yamaguchi y'know I'm sorry
It wasn't even that hard of a slap
I barely touched you
You're making a big deal out of this
please just come back
I've been with you through everything, and you're leaving me because I barely touched you?
I won't do it again
I promise
Yams
Tsukishima I'm breaking you with you
I'll give you reason so don't bother asking why.
You gaslight me and ignore me like I'm a burden you were forced to be with.
Today was the last straw. I want out of this relationship. It has ruined my mental state and completely destroyed whatever confidence and self-love I have.
You act so differently than how you used to act.
This was a huge step to take for me, but I know I will be a better, healthier,and happier person.
I hope you change and live a happy life.
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I lifted my head and stared at my phone for a while. I hesitatingly hovered my finger over the button before finally pressing the button that will change everything.
I blocked him.
Finally
It's over.