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“Beth.” He whispered against her ear. Soft and gravelly and it coursed through her body in waves and crashed into her heart. She whimpered into his mouth and pulled herself even closer to his body.
“Beth,” He whispered again against her lips. Her lips moving slowly with his, her tongue swiping at his bottom lip, begging to be let in.
She was on his lap, straddled over his thighs, hands wrapped tightly behind his neck, pulling and grinding on him, driving him insane.
She was warm and here and soft and so fucking beautiful. His grip tightened on her hips, driving her down to where he needed to feel her.
“Beth, stop,” He panted between kisses and she froze, still at his lips. Her eyes snapped open with fear written plainly in them.
She pulled away slowly, taking in the sight of his face. The nervousness that still was settled in his eyes screaming at her, his mouth open, breathing heavily.
“It’s okay Daryl.” She said softly and brought her hand up to cradle his cheek. “It’s okay.”
She leaned into him again slowly, but he stopped her.
“Ain’t right.” He clenched his eyes closed, trying to forget how beautiful she was. Trying to erase the image of her aroused eyes from his memory.
“Ain’t nothin’ more right than this.” She kissed the corner of his mouth and thumbed over his cheek again.
He shook his head quickly.
“First time shouldn’t be like this.” His voice shook as much as his hands were at her back. All nerves and worry.
She smiled and laughed lightly.
“Ain’t my first time, Daryl.” She purred and nipped at his jaw and slid her tongue up to his ear.
He groaned and pulled her tighter to him.
“Then our first time shouldn't be like this.” He corrected and Beth sighed before she laid her head on his shoulder.
He knew that sigh. It was her “I've had enough of your shit, Dixon” sigh. But she didn’t understand. She wouldn't understand how inadequate he was for her. How she deserved so much more than him.
“We've been doing this for a month now, Daryl,” She whispered to his shoulder before she got off his lap, the feeling of her warmth instantly missed. He held his hands out to grab at her pants, hook the belt loops and tug her back, but she stepped away.
His shoulders slumped. He ruined it. Again.
“I want you, Daryl.” She said quietly. So quietly. Her eyes were closed and she bit at her bottom lip and he wanted to kiss her again. Kiss her until the sun came up, until her lips were sore. Until he couldn't move his mouth any longer. Until the end of time, and even then maybe longer.
“Don’t you want me?” She squeaked.
“Yes.” He answered too quickly, locking eyes with hers for just a second, then away to the floor as panic bubbled in his chest.
“You aren't going to hurt me.”
He shook his head.
“I’d never hurt you Beth.”
She could see his hands shaking as he fidgeted with his fingers. She didn’t respond though, and they sat in silence for eternity.
“Just…” He trailed off, biting at his thumb, avoiding her eyes at all costs. “Never done this before,” He said so softly she barely heard the words. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair. His shoulders hanging low as he prepared for her reaction.
She wanted to laugh. She held it in, because she knew wouldn't understand WHY she was laughing. But it perked up inside her and nearly escaped.
“Oh Daryl.” She hurried back to him, pushing his hands out of the way and instantly fusing her lips to his. “That’s what all this has been about?” She kissed in between each word, and smiled.
“Stop,” He groaned.
“No,” She nipped at his lip and threw his arms around her waist. “You don’t have to stop. I don’t want you to stop.” She breathed.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” He mumbled and she paused. She held his face in her palms, soothing him with her thumbs. She smiled his favorite smile and leaned into him again, placing the softest kiss to his lips.
“Neither do I. We can figure it out together.” She slowed her kisses. Took her time then, making sure he felt every single ounce of love and want and fear she held. “Please Daryl?”
“Please Daryl?” Echoed in his head. Those two words would be his undoing.
He nodded once and froze. Instantly panicking at the thought he was finally going to see Beth Greene naked. On purpose. His heart hammered in his chest and he could feel the sweat beading at his brow. She moved away from him and peeled her shirt from her body.
“Fuck.” He hadn't meant to say it out loud, but she smiled at his voice and unhooked her bra.
“Look at me, baby.” She purred. And he couldn't look away if he tried.
They’d seen each other naked plenty of times. It was hard to be modest in the woods. But this wasn't like those times. This wasn't like when he had to pretend he hadn't just seen her tits peek out from the water while she bathed. This wasn't like the time he came back from his hunt too soon and caught her naked from the waist down while she changed her clothes.
This time he could look at her all he wanted. He could touch and kiss and feel and bite. And it scared the fuck out of him.
He held his breath while she pulled her hair free from its tie and let the soft waves cascade over her shoulders, the ends just brushing over her nipples. He exhaled heavily, the air pushing from his lungs at the thought of pink pointed buds on his tongue, rolling between his teeth. The thought of her thin body trembling under his fingers in ways he’d never thought possible.
He felt as if he were going to pass out.
She thumbed over the waist line of her jeans and popped the top bottom open. Daryl almost moaned out loud.
“Let me,” His voice was thick with nerves, low and barely audible to even him.
She watched as his normally nimble fingers pulled the zipper, shaking and fumbling as they went. He gently pushed the fabric down her legs, taking his time to graze his fingertips over her thighs and knees, and she listened to his breath coming out in short pants.
“Daryl,” She lifted his chin with her fingers, meeting his eyes. “Okay?”
He nodded again and pulled her onto him.
He was hard as a rock, nestled between her thighs, and when she moved he could feel the heat of her, the hot want of her seeping through her panties. He groaned and pushed her legs open, pressing himself as deep as he could with clothing still in the way.
“Beth,” He panted again and kissed up her throat, then let his tongue make a trail along her jaw and up to her ear and back.
She squirmed and gasped and threaded her fingers in his hair.
“Touch me, Daryl,” She begged taking his hands in her own and placing them at her chest while she moved to unbutton his shirt.
And for just a moment he froze, a moment he thought of the marks and scars and ugliness of his back. For just a moment he thought about pushing her away again.
But then she said it.
“Please Daryl,”
And he was lost. Lost at the feeling of her fingers grazing through his chest hair. Lost at the feeling of her lips on his collarbone. Completely lost when she moaned at the feeling of his fingers pinching at her nipples.
“Jesus,” He whispered. It was a prayer. A curse. It was awe.
There was no way for him to warn her. No words would form in his mind, just lost to the feeling of her body grinding, her hands gripping and lips kissing. So when he came it was unexpected. When he came it was with a force he didn’t know was possible. When he came she grinned against his mouth and whispered it was okay.
But it wasn’t.
And his chest heaved and his eyes stung.
“Beth,” He whimpered before he gently pushed her off his body.
“I’m sorry.”
She knew not to follow him to the bathroom. Not right away anyway. She knew to give him a moment, let him catch his breath. So she pulled her jeans on and waited by the door.
She flinched when she heard him punch the wall and opened the door instantly when she heard him curse.
“Don’t.” He growled and paced the small room, shaking his injured hand.
“Let me see your hand,” She grabbed it before he could tell her he was fine.
They didn’t speak while she washed his knuckles in the tub of water still left from her sponge bath.
“I wish you could see how beautiful you are.” She whispered finally, once she was done, holding his face in her tiny hands. Looking at him like he hadn't fucked the entire night up. Looking at him as if he mattered.
“Nothin’ beautiful ‘bout me, Beth. Just a screw up redneck. Can’t even fuck my girl…” He choked out. He closed his eyes tight to push away the stinging.
“I don’t want you to fuck me.” She smiled, not acknowledging he’d just called her his girl, even though it was repeating itself in her head. “Not yet, anyway,” She giggled.
She thumbed over his bottom lip, feeling him still trembling a bit. He looked at her then, seeing her eyes so soft, so understanding; he couldn't help but relax a little.
He sighed. So many words flowing through his mind, knowing he’d never be able to say them out loud.
“I told ya we’d figure it out together. We got all night.” She got on her tiptoes to kiss his lips. “Now come lay down with me.” She tugged on his uninjured hand and led him back to the bed.