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Steve McGarrett’s Atrocious, Horrible and Utterly Crap Morning.

Summary:

Steve's morning doesn't go to plan for him at all.

Poor Steve, what did he get himself into this time?

Notes:

General Disclaimer!
I don't own them! CBS does, I am only borrowing them.
All unrecognized characters are however mine.
This story is not Beta read, so all mistakes are my own.

Enjoy this little Steve centered one-shot.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The first sign his day was going to be awful was when his alarm didn’t go off and he over slept, so instead of getting up at 0500 hours and doing his usual morning swim and run he running round the house like a headless chook trying to find his watch, polo and favorite cargo pants.

Amidst the running around a cut the corner on his bed and collect his poor pinkie tow not once but twice on the same bed corner that morning, as well as tripping over the towel he left on the floor last night after his shower which lead to his going ass over tea kettle onto the floor and landing awkwardly on his tailbone.
“Come on!!! Not fair man!” he said as he started to collect himself.

Remembering he put his cargoes in the wash yesterday he went to check, only to find they were caught up inside the machine, giving a light tug and his pants not coming free he decided a more confrontational approach was required… so he stood there and yanked as hard as he could several times before his pants ripped and came free suddenly causing him to smack himself in the face with both hands and an arm full of destroyed cargo pants.

“Seriously! Why Me!?”

With his favorite cargoes wrecked and his others waiting to be washed that only left jeans for him to wear… not his preferred option, but with no other choice… Jeans it is.

While grumbling and putting his jeans on he headed to the kitchen for a quick cup of coffee and toast before work… Of course, with nothing going in his favor this morning of course the coffee pot breaks when he starts pouring his coffee, spilling scolding hot coffee down his shirt and, Arrgghh his clean jeans he JUST PUT ON…

To busy cleaning up the coffee and changing again he forgot about the toast now burning in the toaster…
Between cleaning coffee and broken coffee pot up and trying to get out the flames in his toaster his phone starts ringing, typical of a bad day.

“NOT NOW! Please… One mess at a time please?”

So finally, after the phone stops ringing, the coffee pot and mess is cleaned up and the unplugged burnt toaster is sitting in a sink full of water… Here’s poor old Steve, sitting at the dinner table with a pack of frozen peas on his face, no shirt and sitting in his underwear cursing the world under his breath, when the front door opens….

NO, NO, NO!!

Before he registers he is only clad in his coffee covered undies he is running full bolt to try and stop who ever it is from coming in, typical of this morning something is bound to go wrong AGAIN!

Of course, running around your house in your undies is one thing, but running around the house in your undies with bad guys barrelling through the front door at you… Wow the universe must really hate him today.

“Really, can I please have something go my way? No okay, fine”

Taking down 3 out 5 guy before being hit with a gun to the back of the head would be pretty good odds in most people’s book, but not Steve’s, no in his book it just adds to the list of horrible things to occur this morning.

So, it’s safe to say coming to strung from the roof of an old warehouse was the icing on the cake of bad things to occur.

“Let me quash any ideas of escape for you now, I have a two men on every exit and entry as well as video surveillance, there is no getting out of here for you” the mystery voices stated from behind him.

“Guess I will have to prove you wrong then won’t I, Mr? sorry but I didn’t catch your name” Steve retorted.

“The names Mr. Big don’t knock me till your try me” Mr. Big replied.

“Right and let me guess your only 5-foot-tall, correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t those clichés meant for TV shows and movies?” Steve questioned as the man came to stand in front of him ‘crap! Definitely not 5-foot tall, yep, definitely underestimated this one’ Steve thought to himself.

Of course, typical of this morning he could not have a movie cliché bad guy could he… No, he had to get someone who actually fit his name, of course not.

‘okay fine, I can make this work, I am a highly trained Navy SEAL after all’

“You know, grabbing me was the worst mistake you can make for your business, right?” Steve questioned.

Mr. Big did not respond but turned and stepped closer, close enough to take him out, finally some good luck. Steve swung his legs up and out kicking the Boss in the face hard enough to send him to the ground, his head connecting with the concrete floor with a satisfying thud, happy to see he did not move again Steve started working on his restraints, hauling himself up the chain above himself enough to unhook the rope from the hook and dropping to the ground as quietly as possible, hoping no one was watching the cameras at the moment.

Heading for the warehouse door and opening it with the pilfered keys from the Boss man, he did a quick check for any guards, surprised to find none… ‘huh maybe he was lying about how many men he had’

Heading down the hallway towards the exit, he knew his newfound luck was too good to last when he felt the cold barrel of a semi-auto AK-47.

“Where do you think you’re going?” one of Mr. Bigs Hench men asked.

“Well until now, I was heading for the exit so I could leave, so instead of making me change my plans any chance you want to just lower your weapon and surrender?” Steve questioned with just a small shred of hope.

“Not a chance pal, if Mr. Big finds out I’m the one who re-captured his new toy I’ll likely get a pay raise, now back the way your came, slowly” the Hench man stated, now dubbed Hench man #1 by Steve.

“Fine…” as Steve turned and started heading back he took the opportunity to tackle Hench man #1 into the wall and knocking him out and grabbing his gun before continuing.

By the time he made outside he had dealt with almost a dozen Hench men, having hog tied and searched all men, he managed to find one unlocked phone to call Danny with, he was not looking forward to that chat.

Dialing Danny’s number, he waited and prayed for him to answer soon.

“Detective Williams”

“Danny, Thank God”

"Steve!? Where the hell are you?”

“Long story but I’m in the fishing docks on Honolulu Harbor”

“Why? We went tot your house this morning, it’s a mess by the way, you weren’t there, we tried tracking your phone, but it was turned off, who took you?” Danny asked.

“Some cartel leader by the name of Mr. Big, I know right sounds cliché, but believe me he fits his name” Steve stated when he heard Danny start to laugh at the name.

“Okay, where on our way, are you okay? Any injuries I should know about? You know what never mind I’m sending EMS any way” Danny said as he picked up his car keys.

“Thanks… Hey Danny? Do me a favor?”

“Sure?”

“Only bring essential personnel and some clothes?” Steve asked, hoping to save at least a little dignity.

“Okay, I’m not even gonna ask why, I’m on my way now, see you soon” Danny stated, Steve could pretty much hear Danny rolling his eyes.

"Thanks pal see you soon” with that Steve sat down inside the warehouse away from prying eyes and the cold breeze from the harbor.

"About 20 minutes later the Camaro pulled in the parking lot of the warehouse.

“Steve? Where you at?” Danny shouted.

“In the warehouse, you bring the clothes I asked for?” he questioned.

“Yeah? There in the car, why don’t you come get them?” Danny questioned.

“Are you alone?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, Steven I decided coming to a warehouse full of bad guys was a great idea… No, I’m not alone, I brought Chin with me” Danny stated full of sarcasm and slight annoyance.

“Okay, I’m coming out, Don’t shoot me Danny” Steve retorted as he exited the warehouse.

“What is your problem today Steven- “Danny’s question was cut short when he saw Steve exit the building in only his coffee covered undies, he couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the sight.

“Stop laughing Daniel!” Steve groused.

“I’m sorry, not, but that does explain the mess in the kitchen” Danny said after his laughing fit came to an end.

“Here Steve, I’ve got your clothes you asked for, Danny grabbed your go back from the wardrobe” Chin stated, thank God for his cool composure.

“What go bag in the wardrobe, I, I don’t have one in there?” he questioned as he took the bag, opening it to reveal the clothes inside were definitely not his, they were his Girlfriend Siobhan’s.

“You. Have. Got to be kidding me” Steve couldn’t believe it, why? He was sure his luck had changed for the better.

“Sorry Brah, should have checked before we left” Chin said with obvious sympathy and slight amusement at Steve’s predicament.

“All right, Danny, Give me your shirt!” Steve requested, which brought Danny out his laughing hysterics and back to reality.

“No way SuperSEAL, I am not giving you my shirt and before you ask my spares are at home in the was from the last time I needed them, sorry pal your on your own” Danny said with little sympathy for his partner.

Before Steve could retort the rest of HPD showed up to gather up the downed Cartel members for booking.

“Ugghh, whatever, lets go home please?” Steve at this point was not above begging to get out of there.

“Sorry pal, but, you have to give your statement and let EMS check you over” Danny said dryly.

“I’ll write up my statement at home and give it to Duke later, as for EMS I don’t need them, I copped a hit to the head, but nothing more, I’m Fine, lets go” Steve stated started to get antsy and desperate to leave, especially with more people arriving.

“Fine, let’s go, I’m not in the mood to argue with your, or hang out here with you in your underwear” Danny caved.

“Thank you Danny” Steve was beyond glad to be going home, he planned on putting on some warm comfy trackies and sloppy Joe and going back to bed now that the day was finally over.

Notes:

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