Archive of Our Own

There’s something beautiful about books.  Old and new.  The way the spine of a new release-novel pushes back, heralding the start of an adventure.  Or the way the spine creaks from the older books showing their prior use, their age.  The way words format onto pages, inviting you in.  To places like the Arctic or Andorra or even the Andromeda Galaxy.

Namjoon’s fingers run along the spines of the autobiographies sitting on the shelf.  He smiles, taking in their familiar placement.  Pushing his cart along, shelving here and there.  He’s worked in the Cheongju branch of the SoJin library for the last four years.  SoJin Libraries came about from the partnership between smaller cities and the booming tech-company SJ Group.  Metro city libraries sucked up a large portion of the country’s designated budget.  This meant a lot of cities, particularly those with less than a million in population, were left with a very small budget for their local libraries- scraping by with hand me downs and older hardware.  Then SJ Group came along and managed to weave crucial ties with the government using various contracts.  One of those contracts included libraries in small cities. 

SJ Group is also the company that is family-created and family-owned by Namjoon’s best friend since childhood- Kim Seokjin.  Model/heir-in-training Seokjin was ecstatic when Namjoon finally accepted his offer to be a library assistant in Cheongju.  “I have connections, why not use me” Seokjin would always say.  Namjoon smiles, thinking of his friend tucked away in Seoul.  Dealing with his own life- trying to avoid an arranged marriage. 

“Excuse me, where’s your young adult section” says a voice, cutting into Namjoon’s thoughts. 

“I’ll show you the way,” says Namjoon, abandoning his cart in the middle of the aisle. 

It’s been four glorious years at the library.  Moving up from library assistant during high school to library technician and hopefully, soon, a full-time librarian role.  It isn’t just the books that Namjoon loves.  It’s the chaos behind the closed doors.  Incoming, outgoing, prepping, pulling.  Orders and questions and pickups.  Watching one adventure after another fly off the wall and into someone’s hand. 

And it’s the peace of not being at home.  Not hearing the constant arguing or the breaking of a dish, slamming of doors.  It gets harder and harder for Namjoon to hear his mother and sister argue, knowing his sister is wrong 98% of the time.  Watching his mom stress over bills and how to pay them and how to keep it all in.  Occasionally, it seeped out into arguments or spontaneous bursts of tears.  It’s hard to watch his dad’s sickness slowly take away his energy, his essence, his light.  The family is still able to pull thru and put food on the table- the library gig definitely helps with that.  But the emotional stress is still a lot to take in.  And his father’s reaction to the new round of drugs was discouraging.  Namjoon provided a good front- always appearing strong.  Trying to help raise the spirits in the house. 

But it’s here- in the maze of books and authors and questionable in-cover blurbs- that Namjoon feels a sense of himself crawling back.  He feels like the little books inside him are jumping onto their own shelves. Setting themselves to rights.  Organizing and re-centering.  A form of meditation. 

Namjoon cleans off one cart, heading back to the desk to grab another.

“Excuse me, where is your fax machine,” someone asks from the other side of the front desk. 

Just as Namjoon starts to respond, another patron walks in thru the main entrance.  And not just any patron.  Him. 

Namjoon knows his name is Hoseok.  Not because he’s a stalker…of course.  But because Namjoon was helping someone checkout a book as Hoseok was being helped by another library assistant, right next to him.  And yes, Namjoon’s eyes may have traveled to the other screen intentionally but he couldn’t help it.

Namjoon was entranced by him.  Point blank. 

Hoseok was beautiful.  Not that underwear-ad-model-with-wet-hair-in-a-mono-filter look.  But the striking kind of beautiful.  The stand-in-a-beam-of-sunlight-in-the-travel-section type of beauty.  Gut-punch-stunning.

Hoseok had been coming to the library for the last year and a half.  Always alone.  Always wearing the same blue and yellow Nautica jacket (that Namjoon believed served no purpose in the winter).  Hoseok is consistent: every Monday and Thursday, from mid-afternoon to an hour before closing.  Occasionally, he would check out a book.  But typically, he would find a small, empty table and plant himself there for the rest of his visit.  He was partial to the travel section-corner.

Also consistent: the sadness that hovered over Hoseok.  Namjoon thought it was just his resting face.  After all, his best friend Seokjin had a resting face that said “fight me”.  Namjoon knew not to pre-judge.  But, as the months wore on, Namjoon could see the sadness growing.  It was a bit more pronounced in the way Hoseok’s shoulders sagged, the way he hung his head over his phone at the library table.  The way he went from smiling when passing others to just nodding and shuffling by.  It grew exponentially over the holiday season and never let up. 

Finishing up at the desk with a few inquiries, Namjoon grabs another cart of books ready to be shelved.  He eyeballs them fairly quickly, seeing if any travel books are on the cart.  When he sees none, he goes to another cart of books.  Retrieving a few travel books and putting them on his next cart.  He wheels them away, shoving aside the shame floating above.  Knowing how much he craves to see glimpses of the man who radiates light without a smile.

But, today is not just any day.  Namjoon has made himself a promise.  He will talk to Hoseok today and it will be longer than one minute.  What they talk about- hell, Namjoon hasn’t thought that far.  He just knows that he can’t carry on thinking about sad Hoseok when he lays down in bed, trying to block out another argument between his mom and sister. 

After shelving a majority of the books on his cart, which takes twenty minutes or so, Namjoon finally makes his way to the travel section.  And he’s there- Hoseok.  Sitting in a soft sunbeam that bounces off his onyx locks.  A book open and surfing something on his phone.  There’s only one other person in the travel section, an older gentleman flipping thru a book. 

Namjoon clears his throat.  Loudly.  Trying to make his presence known without being obvious.  The older gentleman looks over before walking away with the book in hand.  Namjoon turns to the shelves, nodding and silently encouraging himself.  He’s working up his courage when he accidentally knocks off several books from the shelf- haphazardly put there by someone else.  Namjoon kneels down, stacking the books one at a time, mentally chastising the person responsible.  Feeling embarrassment heat his cheeks, hoping Hoseok isn’t looking over. 

“I promise, it wasn’t me,” says a soft voice. 

Namjoon looks up and almost stops breathing.  Hoseok’s face is about a ruler-length away from his own, offering a small smile. 

“Oh…I…I didn’t say it was you,” says Namjoon, adjusting his voice mid-sentence to mask his surprise. 

Hoseok chuckles, “no, you didn’t.  But the look on your face said something like ‘if-I-find-the-person-who-is-responsible’…”

Namjoon laughs.  “Sorry.  But still, I didn’t think it was you.” 

Hoseok laughs as well, standing with Namjoon.  Both having collected the books from the floor.  “Let’s just blame that old guy that was here and call it good.  He’s elderly so, we can’t hold a grudge anyway.  Right?” 

Namjoon laughs as he shelves the books in his hands before taking the others from Hoseok.  Their hands brush slightly.  Namjoon memorizes the ghost of gentleness, instantly. 

“Thank you,” Namjoon says, hoping it’ll stop Hoseok from turning back towards his table.  Once he’s done shelving the last book, he turns to Hoseok.  “I’m Kim Namjoon.”

“I’m Jung Hoseok,” says Hoseok, bowing with his reply.  Namjoon bows in return. 

“I’ve seen you a few times,” says Namjoon, hoping that doesn’t come off as stalker-ish.  “Are you a university student?”

Hoseok’s hollow smile follows with, “no, not a university student.  I graduated from high school two years ago.  But, I don’t attend university.”  Hoseok looks away briefly before turning back to Namjoon.  “How about you?  Are you a university student?” 

“Uh, yes.  A university student in the Public Administration program,” Namjoon says with a smile. 

“That’s…cool.”  Hoseok bites his lip and looks away.  Probably not sure what to say to fill the silence. 

“You must love the travel section,” Namjoon adds.  Not wanting to end the conversation.  Hoping he can prolong this chance to see Hoseok up close.  Lip mole, beautiful smile, and sharp profile all downloading into his memory bank.  “I see you here from time to time.”

“Ahhh,” Hoseok smiles.  “Yeah, I like the travel section.”

“Do you…travel for work?  Or is it just a hobby” asks Namjoon, leaning towards the shelf behind him for support. 

“More like a dream that won’t come true?”  Hoseok smiles and shakes his head, looking at the ground.  “I never realized how expensive traveling was…is.”  Hoseok looks back up at Namjoon who stares back before nodding. 

“Yeah, it’s expensive.  I mean, depending on where you wanna go of course.  Like, Japan isn’t that bad.  I don’t think the Philippines is that pricey,  either?  But, if you’re looking at Europe or the Caribbean, it might be steep.” 

Hoseok tries to mask his disappoint and nods in agreement.  “Yeah, I’ve been confirming that for myself as well.” 

Namjoon is covering a half-shift for the day.  And he really can’t pass up the opportunity that’s presenting itself.  He gathers his courage and asks: “uhm…are you…do you have any plans for dinner?”

Surprise is definitely written on Hoseok’s face when his eyes shift upward in thought.  Lips pursed, still thinking.  Namjoon is almost sure that might mean rejection when Hoseok looks back at him with hesitation. 

“I…no.  I have no plans for dinner.” 

“Cool…I mean…I was just thinking that, if you have no plans for dinner- maybe we could grab something to eat at a restaurant a few streets over.  They have really good mandoo.  And we can both lament over the fact that teleportation has not been established,” Namjoon says with a smile. 

Hoseok smiles back- an actual smile.  One that temporarily blinds Namjoon.  “Teleportation.  God, how that would have saved me so many times,” Hoseok laughs.  “That…that sounds really good.  What time?”

“6pm?  I get off at that time since it’s a short day for me,” says a recovered Namjoon. 

Hoseok nods slowly, backing up a bit.  “Ok, 6pm.  Should I wait for you at the desk?”

“No, I’ll come back here for you,” says Namjoon, moving towards his book cart.  Ready to push. 

“Cool,” says Hoseok.

“Cool,” says Namjoon.

They part ways and Namjoon fights the urge to turn back around.  He carries on for the rest of the afternoon floating on a cloud of disbelief.  He actually did it.  And not just the promise to himself but dinner.  He got dinner with Hoseok.  Tonight.  Namjoon double checks himself thrice before clocking out.  Checking his outfit, debating whether he should tuck in his flannel shirt- deciding to keep it out, loose.  Double checking his teeth, making sure they’re shiny.  Popping a mint in his mouth.  Slicking his hair back.  Adjusting his glasses.  Stretching his legs (for lord knows what).  When finally, 6pm rolls around.

Namjoon grabs his bag before heading over to the travel section.  Wary, wondering if maybe Hoseok won’t be there.  Maybe he changed his mind.  But when he turns the corner, Hoseok is still there.  Backpack on, books put away.  Scrolling thru his phone.

“Ready” asks Namjoon. 

Hoseok looks up, smiling back.  “Yes, ready.”

A few hours and empty dishes later, Namjoon and Hoseok are laughing at another one of Namjoon’s university stories. 

“Wow…I…I didn’t know university was so…eventful?”  Hoseok and Namjoon laugh again. 

“It’s usually not.  I just learned from then on that food service jobs are not for me.  I can’t even operate a freakin’ microwave.”  Hoseok laughs again at Namjoon’s comment. 

“But, you are able to hold your own in the restaurant business so cheers to you,” says Namjoon before taking another gulp of his iced mint tea. 

“Thanks but it’s just an assistant cook job.  No big deal.  Nothing like a library worker,” says Hoseok, smiling at Namjoon.  He happens to look down at his phone when he suddenly remembers his own schedule. 

“Crap, it’s getting closer to 9pm.  I better get going- I start at 6am,” Hoseok says, trying to clear their table a bit. 

“Oh, I’m sorry to keep you.  You should definitely head out, I’m paying,” says Namjoon.  Standing to help clear up a bit while waving at the waitress walking by. 

“I can’t let you do that, Namjoon,” pouts Hoseok. 

“No, no, no, I insist.  Especially since I lied to you,” says Namjoon to Hoseok before he turns to the waitress to request the check. 

“Lied to me?”

“Yes.  We never reached our topic of the day: teleportation.”  Namjoon says it with a straight face, causing Hoseok to crack up. 

“Ok, fine.  You did lie to me,” says Hoseok, adjusting his backpack and grabbing his phone.  “But, if you’re ever interested in coffee or another meal, it will be my treat.  AND we have to brainstorm for our teleportation invention.”

Namjoon has to stop his smile from shooting to the moon.  “Yes, we must.  I’m available on the weekends and Wednesday evenings.”  Namjoon throws in the Wednesday slot, hoping it could be a prelude to Hoseok’s off day- Thursday. 

“Wednesdays work for me,” says Hoseok.  Namjoon pays for their meal and they both walk out of the restaurant. 

“So, would next week Wednesday work for you?  Dinner at…wherever you decide?”  Namjoon tries not to vomit the inner excitement that’s building. 

“Yeah, that works for me,” Hoseok smiles.  “I’ll probably see you before then so I’ll let you know when I decide on the place.” 

And with that, they part.  Hoseok with less of a slumping posture and Namjoon lightly slapping himself to calm his heart. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Namjoon saw Hoseok on Monday of the following week.  They smiled, chatted (much to the chagrin of a lady with giraffe socks in the travel section) and confirmed their Wednesday dinner plans.

“I hate to be the one to break it to you,” says JuLi, the Cheongju library director.  A kind lady with salt & pepper hair, late-40s and red matte lipstick.  “But you work in a library.  Internalize the humming.” 

Namjoon is organizing the front desk when he pauses and turns to the director.  A few seconds pass before a crack of a smile breaks free.   Namjoon ducks his head to quietly giggle, earning him a pat on the back. 

“Out with it Kim Namjoon.  In the years I’ve known you, I have never seen you this…giddy?  It’s a girl, isn’t it,” she smiles. 

“Close,” says Namjoon.  “It’s a guy.”  Namjoon may have a lot of problems in his life, not all of them he can fix or control.  But his own identity, whatever that shaping process is at the moment- he owns that. 

“Oh.”  The look of surprise on JuLi’s face quickly morphs back into the slight smile she had before.  “SO, there is someone.  Nice, nice.  University student?”

Namjoon smiles.  “No.  Not a university student.  He’s…well, its early going.  So, we’re still getting to know each other.  But no, not a university student.”

JuLi smiles and turns her attention to restocking the reserved shelves on the wall behind the front desk.  “I wish you luck then.  Its early going and you’re already at the humming stage.  That is a good sign.”  JuLi sighs wistfully.  “I still catch my husband humming in the kitchen on weekend mornings.  It lets me know the insurance world hasn’t totally depleted the joy of our married life.”  Namjoon shakes his head, smiling at JuLi’s laughter. 

{Wednesday night}

“So, you have a dog named Moni—”

“Mostly because I don’t have money,” smiles Namjoon.

“—and your studies are in Public Administration—”

“I’d like to be a Library Director, some day,” Namjoon adds.

“—and you’ve been to Japan and China—”

“I don’t remember China though.  I was just a kid,” Namjoon chimes in, again.

“—and you have a bonsai at home named Mono,” Hoseok asks with a smile on his face. 

Namjoon grins, “ok, Lightning Round Joon is done.  Moving on to Lightning Round Hoseok.”

“Hobi.  Lightning Round Hobi,” says Hoseok, right before Namjoon launches into a series of questions. 

The two are seated in a booth at an American-style throwback burger-joint.  Complete with checkered floors, red upholstered seats and silver counter tops.  Hoseok insisted they aim for something different that ABSOLUTELY had to have milkshakes.  Namjoon would’ve eaten bark if that was the only item served- he just wanted to be wherever Hoseok was. 

“Favorite color?”

“Green”

“Favorite subject in school?”

“Music.  I love music, I love dancing.”

“Least favorite vegetable.”

“Green beans.  They serve no purpose.”

“I think the green beans would disagree,” Namjoon smiles as Hoseok giggles.  Namjoon is getting a high from the sensation of being the center of Hoseok’s joy.  “Favorite cartoon?”

“Captain Planet.”

“. . .” Namjoon stares back in confusion.

“Captain Planet.  You don’t know Captain Planet?”

“What channel was that on?”

“One of the American channels.  You had to read the subtitles,” says Hoseok.  “Crystal blue man in red with green hair…hung around with kids who had rings and elements?  They saved the world, one country at a time.”

“I…don’t know it,” says Namjoon, holding in a laugh.

Hoseok smiles.  “I loved Captain Planet.  And the planeteers.  It must have been so nice…to have friends.  To have people who care.”

Namjoon gets serious for a moment, realizing this is the first time Hoseok has actually brought up or implied anything- really- about his home life.  He’s answered Namjoon’s questions about work and food and traveling, but he’s always dodged the questions about home. 

“Did you not have a lot of friends, growing up” Namjoon asks.  Hoping Hoseok won’t avoid the question like the others.

“I…” Hoseok hesitates.  “I was home-schooled until the last four years, right before graduation.  My aunt oversaw my education.”

Namjoon watches the look of withdrawal as Hoseok retreats, internally. 

Namjoon picks up the reins of the conversation.  “I have two aunts, both are my mother’s sisters.  I haven’t seen them in over a year, I think.  My dad has one brother who lives in the states.  My mother works in an LG factory and my dad had to retire early from his writing career due to illness.  My sister is currently majoring in teenage rebellion and will soon graduate to early-20s rebellion.  And Moni puts up with all of us because he lacks opposable thumbs.”  Namjoon follows up his speech with a very loud slurp of his chocolate milkshake. 

A light sparks in Hoseok’s eyes leading to a grin that ends up in laughter.  “So, Moni is the unfortunate one in all this?”

“Pretty much.  But, he hasn’t run away from home yet…that must mean something.” 

Namjoon and Hoseok continue their dinner with laughter.  Hoseok slowly revealing a little bit more about himself while avoiding questions about his home life.  And Namjoon being aware and respectful to not approach the topic again. 

They wrap up their “friendly dinner” over an hour later, standing outside the restaurant.  Exchanging phone numbers.  Namjoon agrees to walk Hoseok to his bus stop a block down the street, waiting with him. 

“Hobi,” Namjoon says, testing the nickname Hoseok insists on. 

“Yes, JOON” Hoseok replies with a smile, emphasizing the use of Namjoon’s nickname. 

“I…want you to know that, I respect your privacy.  Anything that you share with me that’s personal to you…that’s confidential for whatever reason, I respect that.  And it would stay between us.”  Joon assesses Hobi’s reaction.  Watching the man’s face go from a concentrated stare to a softened look away. 

“Thank you, Joon,” Hobi whispers, looking back up at the tall man beside him. 

The bus approaches a few minutes later.  Stopping in front of the bus stop, waiting for Hobi. 

“Get home safe,” Hobi says to Joon, right before stepping into the bus.

“Text me when you get home,” Joon shouts, earning a smile and nod from Hobi.

Hobi: My humble abode has welcomed me back, once again.  Aka: I’m home.

Joon: Yeah, my castle is massive.  I’m just gonna sleep in my large foyer. 

Hobi: Yikes!  Sleeping with gargoyles?

Joon: No, those are outside.  I’m sleeping with the bats.

Hobi: Are you texting me while hanging upside down?

Joon: Not tonight.  Decided to go with the crypt. 

Hobi:  Hmmm…sounds…so cozy.

Joon:  Yep!  Cold concrete and spiders.  Cozy indeed.

Hobi:  LOL!  Good night Joon.

Joon:  Good night Hobi <3

Hobi:  And thank you…for tonight

Joon:  Any time!  Although, next time, I get to pick and treat.

Hobi:  Next time?  Deal!

And just like that, Monday and Thursday night dinners become a thing for Namjoon and Hoseok.  There’s the occasional Sunday or Wednesday dinner after Hoseok gets off work.  They even have breakfast one Monday morning- terrible idea.  Never to be revisited as it threw Namjoon’s schedule off.  But they find a happy peace for several weeks- their relationship molding into that of childhood friends.

Slowly, Hoseok starts to reveal a little bit more about his home life.  Centimeters of information gradually thread together, painting a very sad picture for Namjoon. 

Hoseok was five years old when his parents passed away.  As an only child to parents who were also “an only-child”, Hoseok was passed off to his mother’s cousin.  He only had snapshots of his parents.  Glimpses, colors.  Moments of laughter, suffocating hugs, holding hands.  And that was all erased when he moved in with his Aunt SunHae and Uncle Minjun.  His aunt was a hardened woman- trapped in a loveless marriage with a man who did whatever she ordered.  Unable to have children, his aunt was bitter and resentful towards Hoseok’s mother.  Those unfortunate traits spilled over to her husband who never lifted a finger to help Hoseok. 

Growing up was “an experience”, as Hoseok referred to it.  He wasn’t allowed out of the house except for the one hour per day that his aunt allotted.  She controlled all his home-schooling which led to a lot of rapped knuckles and shouting.  Belittled, confidence-damaged, Hoseok resorted to silence and travel magazines.  (It was the only subscription in the household.)  He would look at a picture and memorize it.  Then he would close his eyes and pretend he was there.  Touching warm stones, toes buried in sand.  Boots crunching over new fallen snow, his breathe visible in the freezing air.  Rain drops on his face, on top of a mountain looking down on the clouds.  Floating along the Amazon River, hearing all the sounds of the animals in the rainforest. 

It was the only way he was able to survive over 15 years with his aunt and uncle.  The constant verbal abuse, the punishments for the smallest of errors.  Waking up at 6am every day, after he turned eleven, to make breakfast.  Chores for two hours after his lessons.  He thought going to school would be heaven in his teenage years. 

But, his inability to socialize with others led to an even lonelier adolescence.  He made a few acquaintances who could pass as friends.  But no one really understood him.  And it grew hard to maintain relationships with other people when you had to rush home every day to do chores.  Or spend weekends doing chores.  It always seemed like Hoseok was brushing people off.  In actuality, it was just because his life wasn’t his own. 

After dinner one night, squished next to one another on a bench outside a convenience store, Namjoon asks the question.  “How…did you escape all that?”

With a heavy sigh, holding a cocoa in one hand and gripping his knee with the other, Hoseok looks off into the night.  Watching the occasional car pass. 

“It wasn’t easy.  To be honest, I think I would have stayed there.  Stuck.  Depressed.”  Hoseok looks back at Namjoon before focusing on a point beyond Namjoon’s shoulder.  “But it started with a dream about my mother.  One night, a year after graduation, after cleaning away the remainders of dinner, I laid down to sleep.  And that night, I think a memory wedged its way into my dream.  Everything was blurry but I know I was outside.  There was a branch with the greenest leaves rustling above me.  And a bright blue sky above that.”

Hoseok smiles, “then I felt a tugging on my hand.  And…I just knew.  Something in me just knew that it was my mother.  She was tugging me along with her.  Smiling at me.  Even though her face is a little blurry, I know it’s her.  So I walk along with her.  She laughs at me, tell me not to pout.  That we’re almost there.  Wherever there is.”

Hoseok looks back out at the night, gripping his cocoa closer to his chest.  “Then she says it.  ‘Don’t stand still, Hoseok.  Life is gonna pass you by if you insist on standing there forever.’  And she smiles again and tugs me along.  Then…then…it’s all blurry daisies from there.  I reach out to grab a blurry daisy and I realize my hand is so small.  I’m so small.  I can barely reach my mom’s stomach.” 

Namjoon smiles at the gentility written on Hoseok’s face.  Giving the man a moment to collect his dream.

“I wake up,” says Hoseok, coming out of reverie.  “I wake up and the next day, while making breakfast, I see the news anchor talking about a new restaurant that is going to open soon.  Something exciting for our part of town.  And that they’re currently hiring for cooking staff.  I…I looked down at my chopped cucumbers and I just knew that I could do it.  I could apply.”

Hoseok takes a sip of cocoa before looking at Namjoon again.  “So, I did.  I applied and got the job.  At first, it was hard to balance home chores and work.   But, after two months, I was able to save enough to rent a room and just start the migration outwards.  My uncle didn’t care, my aunt was livid.  Said I lied to her about having a job.  That wasn’t true.  I would just disappear and reappear throughout the day since I started as a part-timer.  Then, after moving out, I asked for full-time hours which was granted because of my punctuality.  The cooking staff…they’re friendly.  In a few months, I learned so much more about socializing and just…participating in a conversation, learning from their interactions with me.  My confidence grew.  I found it easier to say good morning to people.  After a year, I felt like at least half of me was out of my shell.  My confidence building is STILL a process, but at least I know I’m not useless.  I’m not trash or a throw-away.  I’m not dumb or stupid.  I’m none of the things my aunt said I was.”

Hoseok ends with a slight glimmer in his eyes.  He looks away, shyly. 

“No, Jung Hoseok.  I don’t think you are,” says Namjoon, causing Hoseok to look back at him.  “I think you’re so much more.  And I think secretly, deep down inside, you always knew it, too.” 

Namjoon and Hoseok finish off their cocoa.  Scrunching even closer together to warm themselves against the evening chill.  Laughing at the story of that time Namjoon pissed off his sister and woke up the next day with purple hair. 

- - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s been three months since Namjoon and Hoseok had their first dinner.  Since then, they’ve seen each other at least 2-3 times a week.  Most days are wonderful: filled with stories about Namjoon’s childhood or places that Hoseok has read about.  They discuss the future: their dreams, their immediate goals, their aspirations.  (Namjoon is such a cheerleader whenever Hoseok brings up the desire to go to university, to pursue something beyond cooking.)

And some days are bad days.

Namjoon finishes up the re-shelving in the kids section.  Straightening couches and pillows of the little people.  Sanitizing surfaces, straightening the bookmark section.  He loves all parts of his job.  Even this bit- maintaining the library itself.  Especially the little readers’ area. 

Moving out of the way as another wave of little people flows in, Namjoon heads back to the front desk.  He takes a big gulp of his iced Americano.  Something he can’t live without as the previous night was spent lying awake.  Listening to his sister go on another rant of why she should be allowed to go to university in Seoul.  His mother’s frustration over the fact that they can’t do that right now.  Not with their father in his current condition.  Then constant arguing.  All while Namjoon tried to study for a quiz.

“What’s wrong, Namjoon?”

Namjoon turns to see Director JuLi.  “Director?  In again?”

The director raises an eyebrow at Namjoon.  “Ahn’s maternity leave was extended by a couple weeks.  Did no one tell you?”

Namjoon shakes his head. 

“Well…surprise.  Ahn’s maternity leave was extended by a couple weeks,” says JuLi.  “And though we know you could hold down the fort with two new library assistants, we don’t want you to suffer and leave us.”

Namjoon laughs, “I would do no such thing!  I practically live here.”

“Yeah…that’s also a problem,” says Director JuLi.  “What happened to the guy you were getting to know?” 

“He’s…around.  We meet up a couple times a week.  We know each other better.  His…background is a little…deep.  So, it’s best if we start off as friends.”

JuLi turns to stare at Namjoon, looking him up and down.  “Well, don’t wait too long now.  Otherwise, someone else will come along and snatch him from under you.  That was a lesson I learned in university.  I was super shy, didn’t really socialize with others outside of my major.  Until I met my husband.”

“WOW!  You were shy?  What happened to you,” asks Namjoon, laughing as he dodges a paper ball thrown at him. 

“YES!  I was super shy.  My husband…he was a business major.  Those people- they exude some kind of confidence that I didn’t have then.  Anyway, long love story short: my husband who was just a friend at the time when he got into a fight with my Economics tutor.  Who also tried to make a move on me.  Next thing I know, I’m getting a love confession in the rain.  My husband was almost on his knees- saying that he didn’t make a move earlier because he wanted to give me time.  Which was so sweet.  But then he said he regretted it because it made me doubt his feelings for him.  Which, side note: is also true.  I thought he lost interest in me because he didn’t make a move for months.”

Namjoon and JuLi are interrupted by a patron asking for a library card reprint.  As soon as the patron is gone, JuLi continues her love story. 

“Anyway, my husband realized that he may have waited too long.  And that resulted in him, almost on one knee, trying to convince me that he was in love with me.  Had been for months.  But, between us, he didn’t need the theatrics.  I was never serious about the Economics tutor.  My husband was…I knew he was the one immediately.  I just knew it.  I would have waited another few years as a “friend” if it meant he would finally admit his own feelings.  Truth be told: I didn’t have a lot of confidence.  So…me being the first to confess…it would have never happened.  I didn’t have it in me then.” 

JuLi smiles and Namjoon smiles back.  “Then what happened?”

“Well…then he proposed that same day.  It wasn’t just a love confession.  It was a lifetime proposal.  Promising each other a life together.  And the rest is history.  He went on to insurance and I buried myself in books.  And we lived…are living, happily ever after.”  JuLi smiles. 

“He wants to go to university,” says Namjoon.  “He didn’t have the opportunity to attend university before but he would like to go on and get a degree,” Namjoon elaborates, to clear up the confusion written on JuLi’s face. 

“He had a hard life and it wasn’t a cake walk at first.  But, now he’s at a point where he wants to forge a path of his own.  He’s trying to find out what that looks like,” Namjoon says. 

“Hmmm,” JuLi thinks.  “In that case, the path you’re taking now may be for the best.  Slow and steady.  Give him time to grow into his dream.” 

Namjoon nods, looking down at his shoes.  Already knowing in his heart what JuLi said aloud. 

The next day, Namjoon and Hoseok meet up for dinner at a cheap ramun place that Namjoon has been waiting to try.  Seated at their table, Namjoon looks up to inquire after Hoseok’s preference when he sees the red rims of Hoseok’s eyes in the lighting. 

“Hobi…are you ok?”

Hoseok looks up at Namjoon, tries to plaster a smile on his face.  “Uh…yeah, yeah.  I’m ok.  I…had a conversation with my aunt earlier today.  Not sure how she got my cell phone number since I never gave it to her when I moved out.  But, it’s the fifth call we’ve exchanged in the last two months.  Anyway, she basically threatened to have me committed if I don’t come back home.”  Hoseok shakes his head.  “Ha…as if I could ever think of that place as a home.”

Namjoon orders for them both, adding rose tea and steamed buns to the order. 

“I’m sorry to hear it,” Namjoon says, lightly covering Hoseok’s hand with his own.  “Do you want to talk about it?  Or should I tell you about that time my sister stabbed me with a fork in the back?”

Hoseok laughs, his eyes glistening.  He retracts his hand from Namjoon’s, clasping his hands together on the table.  Focusing on his fiddling fingers.  “There’s not much to say.  She…called and said that I needed to come home and tend to the house.  That I could keep my job but that I owed it to her and uncle.  That I had to pay them back for everything they did for me.”  Hoseok lets a sad, frustrated sigh escape. 

“Pay them back?”  Hoseok huffs, “for what?  For the food I ate?  I’ll gladly pay them back, set up a grocery bill for the next 15 years.  Or for the clothes I wore?  HA…they never bought me an actual wardrobe until I went to public school for the last four years.  From the time I was five to…even walking out the door after I got a job: I wore their hand me downs.  I didn’t know how to sew so I had to cuff a lot of sleeves.  I had to hike up a lot of sweat pants so I wouldn’t trip.  They replaced my tooth brush regularly only because I had to see a dentist.  There were visits from the Child Services department here and there.  To make sure I was fed.  My aunt made sure I had one outfit that actually fit me.  Replaced it every two years.  It was the only time I knew we were having guests.  Whenever they laid out “my” clothes.  Hahaha…and she wants pay back?”

Hoseok gets choked up and Namjoon reaches across the table with one hand to hold both of Hoseok’s small hands. 

“They…they were so mean,” Hoseok sniffles, not letting the tears fall.  Keeping them in.  “Any time visitors came- Child Services’ psychologists, insurance people, lawyers- they would put on the prettiest show.  They made sure my hair was combed.  I had socks that fit.  They never picked on me those mornings- they didn’t want me crying before guests came.  And after: it was back to rolled up shirts and sweats.  Said they didn’t want me wearing out my good clothes.  Home?  Huh…I would rather build a hut in hell than go back there.”

The food arrived and Namjoon shifted the subject to other topics.  Like being stabbed with a fork. 

On their walk towards Hoseok’s bus stop, something clicked in Namjoon’s mind.  “You said…insurance people and lawyers showed up?  When you were a kid?”

“Huh?  Oh…uh…yeah.  I guess my parents left a bit of money for me when they passed.  Aunt and Uncle were always quick to bad mouth my parents- saying their death was karma bringing them down a notch.  They prattled on about how quickly my parents rose to success only to die immediately thereafter.”

Namjoon and Hoseok halt at the bust stop, facing one another.  “Anyway, my aunt said it was just a little bit of funds.  Not even enough to feed me past by 7^th birthday.”

“Did you…see any of those insurance people or lawyers after your 7^th birthday,” asks Namjoon.

“Uhm, well…Child Services’ people, no.  I stopped seeing them after a couple years…I think.  I mean, I was so young so I never knew who was who.  They would just stop by and have tea while I sat there…feeling as if I was being examined or something.  The lawyers came every year, I think there were insurance agents, too.  I ran away after my 19^th birthday.”

Namjoon squints.  “Wait…the lawyers came every year?  Even when you were 14 or 15 years old?” 

“Yeah,” says Hoseok, shrugging.  “Auntie said that it was because of an annual checkup that was required by law.”

“Huh…that’s interesting.”  Namjoon doesn’t voice his concern but just smiles back at Hoseok.  “So…what are your plans for the rest of tonight?”

Hoseok smiles at Namjoon.  “Well, I don’t want to brag but…I have a date tonight.”

Namjoon freezes.  “Really?”

“Yep.  It’s a weekly date, actually.  Been going steady for a while now.  His name is Washer Dryer.  You might be familiar with such a person.”  Hoseok winks. 

Namjoon deadpans.  “For someone who didn’t start socializing til later in life, it shows.  Your humor is terrible,” says Namjoon, trying not to laugh.

Hoseok does laugh.  Loudly.  “Awwww…don’t say that.  My sense of humor is great.  You like it!”

Namjoon turns away from Hoseok to face the street.  “Of course I like it.” 

Hoseok sidles up to Namjoon’s side.  Resting his head against Namjoon’s bicep.  That’s the way they stay until the bus pulls up.  Breaking them apart. 

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Namjoon quickly exits his house after making breakfast for everyone.  His mother is in a good mood and he wants to start his day on that note.  Just as he exits the subway to get to campus his cell phone rings.

“Hyung,” says Namjoon with a smile.

“I can be on my way to Cheongju within the hour.  Is everything ok,” asks Seokjin. 

“Jin hyung, don’t worry.  You don’t need to travel here.  It’s not…no one is in the hospital.  Everyone is…still in same health as when you left,” says Namjoon, dodging other students on his way to class. 

“Really?  Pfftt…you only EVER call when you are hurt.  Are you sure you’re ok,” says Jin with concern. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.  BUT, I have a favor to ask,” says Namjoon.

“Believe me, you’re not like Tae.  You would only ever call if you had no one else.  It’s why I never say no,” says Jin with a light laugh.

“How is the little brother?”

“Eh…he’s good.  Rich people problems that we don’t care for right now,” Jin replies.  “What’s up?  What can I help you with?  Anything- name it.”

Namjoon takes a deep breath.  “Your…fiancé…his family is basically royalty in the courts.  A long line of renowned lawyers and judges and what not.  Right?”

Heavy sigh from Jin.  “…anything but that.  Whatever that is.  You know I absolutely can’t stand the kid.”

“Please, hyung.  I just…I just need legal advice.  I have no idea who else I’m supposed to ask.”

“I’ll get you one of our corporate counselors then.” 

“Hyung, please.  I…I need to talk to someone we can trust.  Someone who knows about family law,” Namjoon pleads, opting to stand outside the building of his next class. 

“Family law?  Namu…what is it?  What do you need?  What’s going on?”  The concern in Jin’s voice is heightened. 

“It’s…it’s not for me, hyung.  It’s…for a friend.  He doesn’t know I’m asking for this but he does need the advice.”

“Ok, first of all: who is this friend?  You never told me you had a friend.  Hell- I can’t even remember the last date you had.  I don’t think you remember either.  And second: you can’t seek legal advice for someone else’s affairs.  You know that.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes.  “Of course I know that.  It’s just…I don’t think he’s put two and two together- I don’t think he realizes that he should be seeking legal advice to begin with.  I don’t want to betray his confidence so I won’t ask anything further without him on the line, too.  But hyung…I really need your fiancé.” 

“You can have him.  He has lots of money, too.”

“Hyung!”

“UGH…I can’t believe you Namjoon.  You leave my texts on read, you refuse to move to Seoul to help me escape this arranged marriage and when you do call, it’s to use me to get to my fiancé,” says Jin, exasperation leaking thru the phone.

“Hyung, please…I really like him,” says Namjoon, whispering the last part.  But Jin hears it nonetheless.

“Fine.  FINE!  Aargh…I’ll…arrange a call.  Unlucky for me and lucky for you, there’s a joint family dinner arranged for tonight.  He’s always present- never makes excuses.  Are you free tonight?  7pm?”

“Yes!  I’ll wait for your call,” says Namjoon excited.  “And hyung…I really am thankful.  Super thankful.”  Namjoon pauses.  “I can’t wait for you to meet him.” 

“I’ll talk to you later, Namu,” says Jin, a smile heard in his voice. 

Later that evening, Namjoon takes Hoseok into a library conference room.  He sits him down to explain what is about to happen. 

“Hobi…I, well.  First, let me just say that I value your trust above all things.  Your friendship to me, it means so much.  And, I hold it in such high regard,” says Namjoon. 

“Value my trust above all things? High regard,” smiles Hoseok.  “Kim Namjoon, are you nervous?  You always speak poetically when you’re nervous.  It’s cute,” says Hoseok with a laugh. 

“Ahh, yeah, I am nervous,” says Namjoon.  “I…I want to help you Hobi.  In any way I can or know how.  The other day when you told me about your life, it made me so happy to know that you trust me with that information.  And it also…raised a flag.”

“A flag,” asks Hoseok.

“Well, it’s just that…I, personally, don’t know that much about family law.  I’ve taken some psychology courses and some criminal justice courses in my academic career.  So I know enough to see that something you said about your upbringing was off.  Specifically, the lawyer visits.”

“What’s so off about it?  I mean, my aunt said it was required because of my situation.”  The worry on Hoseok’s face- Namjoon wants to kiss it away. 

“Well, that’s the thing.  Those visits, even in a situation of custody like yours…I’ve never heard of such annual visits.  I mean, there may be special cases but it’s not common.  Child and Social Services doesn’t have the manpower to do yearly visits for these cases.  Their governmental department is always subjected to yearly cuts.  It seems like you would have to be an extremely special case to warrant such visits.  Plus, I don’t see why insurance agents would be visiting you every year.  After a legal guardian is established and the will is read, insurance agents should have no further role to play.  If there is an annual or scheduled allotment, it would be done by bank transfer and would require no further meddling…I mean, adjusting, from a guardian.  It all seems off to me, that’s it.  And, I have a friend who is willing to help us find answers.  BUT, and this is the most important part Hobi: we can only proceed if you wish to.  If you want more answers and wish to seek legal advice, we can continue.  If you decide to stop here, we can do that too.  I would support you, whatever you decide.” 

Hoseok is quiet for a couple minutes.  Namjoon gives him the time and space, sitting across the table from him.

“O-ok, Joon,” Hoseok says, shakily.  “Let’s…let’s get some…legal advice.”

“Are you sure,” asks Namjoon.  Not wanting to pressure Hoseok onto this path.  Hoseok nods in response, folding his hands in his lap, beneath the table. 

Namjoon nods then takes his cell phone out of his pocket.  He sends a text before looking up to smile at Hoseok. 

“Do you remember my best friend Seokjin that I told you about?”

“The model-one…who dyed you blue on your 20^th birthday?”

Namjoon rolls his eyes.  “Yes, that one.  Anyway…I can't remember if I told you but, he’s in an arranged marriage.”  Hoseok’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“They still do those?  Arranged marriages?”

Namjoon laughs, “well, at least in Jin’s case.  Anyway, Jin's prospective groom is from a long line of prominent legal figures.  So, his family is pretty much born out of law books.  He’s gonna give us a call and offer his assistance.  With your permission, I would like to drive some of the questions.  BUT only with your consent,” says Namjoon.

Hoseok nods as the phone rings.  Namjoon answers with the speaker phone option.

“Hyung?”

“No, it’s Brad Pitt.  Of course it’s me!”

Namjoon rolls his eyes silently as Hoseok giggles, catching Jin’s attention.

“Who’s that laughing?”

“Uh…that’s Jung Hoseok.  Hobi, this is Kim Seokjin.  My best friend since childhood.”

“Hello Kim Seokjin-ssi,” Hoseok says, bowing to the phone. 

“Kim Namjoon- video call.  Now!”

Namjoon scrunches his brow.  He adjusts his pop socket as the video call connects, angling the camera just right so that he and Hoseok are in the frame.

“Hi hyung,” Namjoon waves.  Hoseok bows again to the phone. 

“Wow, Jung Hoseok.  I can DEFINITELY see why you like him, Namu.”  Jin, in a white button up and his hair combed back, smiles at the two on his screen.

Namjoon does a slicing motion to get Jin to shut up while Hoseok covers his face with his hands. 

“Ok, ok…I’ll stop.  But, this is not the last you have heard from me, Jung Hoseok.  I am going to make my way over to Cheongju at some point.  Then we can all have dinner and Namjoon can stop ignoring me for you.” 

Namjoon is ready to end the video call as Hoseok looks on with a bashful smile.  Then, a familiar face enters Jin’s frame. 

“Namjoon hyung,” the young man with glasses bows.  Also wearing a white button up shirt with a smile on his face.  “It’s been a while, yes?”

Namjoon nods slightly, returning the man’s smile.  “It has, indeed.  Over a year now, right?  Since the last video call?”  The man smiles and bows again.  “Jeon Jungkook, I want to introduce you to a friend of mine.  This is Jung Hoseok.  Hobi, this is Jeon Jungkook.  A good friend of mine and Jin’s fiancé.” 

The two men bow towards their respective phones, greeting one another politely. 

“I…take it Jin prefaced this call with as much information as I gave him?” 

Jungkook looks from Hoseok to Namjoon and nods.  “Yes, but it wasn’t a lot to go on.  I heard you wanted to get consent first before making inquiries.  Which is good,” says Jungkook, looking at Hoseok. 

“Uh, yes.  He wanted my…authorization before getting legal advice.  And he has it,” says Hoseok, looking from the phone to Namjoon’s smile of comfort and back to the phone. 

“Great, do you want to give me a brief description of the situation in question?  Then we can go from there?”

Namjoon looks to Hoseok who nods.  Namjoon then does most of the talking, reiterating what Hoseok told him over dinner.  Occasionally looking over at Hoseok to make sure he said everything correctly.  Namjoon totally ignores Jin in the background, hovering nearby to listen for himself.  (There’s no way his fiancé is going to know more about his BFF’s love life than him.)

After debriefing Jungkook on the situation, he turns towards his questions. 

“From what I know of such cases, typically there’s an occasional visit from Child and Social Services.  But, even in those cases, the visits are usually spaced years apart and they’re at a social services office.  Annual visits with lawyers and even insurance agents, up to a certain point, seems…odd.  Right?”

Jungkook nods in agreement with Namjoon’s assessment.  “Hoseok,” Jungkook pauses, not sure if the familiar term is ok.  Hoseok smiles and nods for the man to continue. 

“Hoseok, do you happen to know anything about your parents?  Like, what they did for a living? Who is your dad’s next of kin?”

Hoseok thinks for a second: “well, my aunt and uncle often berated my parents in my presence.  They said they rose quickly only to die immediately.  ‘Unable to enjoy the spoils’ as they put it.”  Namjoon notices the clenching of Jin’s jaw in the background of the video call but says nothing. 

“I also googled them after I ran away.  It doesn’t say what my mother did but my dad was some kind of information technology guy?  I think.  There was an article about him working in Silicon Valley in California for a year.  There was a big buyout or something and his picture was in the newspaper.  I didn’t find anything else but it could be because…I wasn’t looking in the right places?”  Hoseok looks to Namjoon who reaches his hand out in comfort.  Hoseok grips it for renewed strength and looks back the cell phone. 

“A buyout, huh?  And…Hoseok, you said you remember seeing insurance agents and/or lawyers even after the first two years of your aunt’s guardianship?  But the visits ended sometime before you started attending public school?”

Hoseok nods, “yes, that’s right.”

Jungkook looks upwards, calculating.  Ordering the facts and trying to figure out the next move. 

“What do you think, JK,” Namjoon asks.  Hoping to get some answers from the young lawyer. 

“Well…it’s hard to say.  I don’t want to send you down false paths since I don’t have all the facts.  For example, we don’t know what the will contained.  We don’t know its details or what the value of the estate would have been at the time of passing.  We also don’t know what stipulations are involved with distributing that estate.  I mean, there’s a lot missing here.  You’re asking for a quilt with only a few strands of thread.”

Namjoon squeezes Hoseok’s hand as he silently nods his head in understanding. 

“I will say this.  As a friend, based purely on speculation with the information provided: I think Namjoon is right.  There is more here than a simple visit.  Annual visits from lawyers, insurance agents, etcetera…it means something.  A valuable estate would demand such attentions.  These parties would have to ensure the ward is being properly cared for.  And if you have people who are assigned such a task, it means that whoever set up the will had the means to have this carried out and maintained.  I mean- little Tantan from the farm down the street, if his parents pass away, is not going to be visited every year from lawyers and insurance agents out of the blue.  His parents would have to own some kind of gold quarry on their farm in order for such parties to be involved.”

Jungkook sighs heavily.  “You need to figure out what was in the will.  Or, at the very least, you need to figure out why insurance agents and lawyers were…are involved.  I don’t want to get your hopes up Hoseok, but I find it hard to believe that these people wanted to just pop in and say hi to an orphan with no money.”  Jungkook is patted on the back by Seokjin, rather aggressively. 

“Thanks, JK.  That’s what I thought,” Namjoon says nodding.  Hoseok full on bows to the camera, causing JK to smile widely and bow with equal enthusiasm. 

“Thank you for trusting me.  Please know that I am here, at your disposal, whenever you need me.  We should exchange numbers so that—”

Jin cuts off Jungkook, coming up from behind him and taking the phone into his own hand. 

“Namu, what do you need me to do?  Whatever you and lil Seokie need, I am here,” Jin says with concern.

“Lil Seokie,” repeats Hoseok.  “Am I lil Seokie?”

Namu looks over and nods with a frown.  He turns his attention back to the camera phone.  “Thanks hyung.  I think I have it covered for now.  I have to make another inquiry with a friend.  I’ll let you know if we need help.”

“A friend?  I’m your only friend!”  Jin looks over to Hoseok and back to Namjoon.  “Well, WE are your only friends.  The only ones who count.  Whatever you need, ask me.” 

Namjoon’s eyes widen before rolling.  “I love you, too, hyung.  I’ll let you go for now.  You and JK enjoy the rest of your family dinner.  Hobi and I are going grocery shopping.  I’ll text you later.”  Everyone says their good-byes.  Bowing and waving.  Once they’re off the phone, Namjoon looks over at a red Hoseok.  Before he can begin talking, his phone rings. 

“Hyung, did you forget something?”

“Nah,” says Jin.  “I just wanted to say to you privately that: 1) I like him.  Your Jung Hoseok.  2) He is adorable, Namjoon.  He reminds me of a care bear…but like, a handsome one.  3) DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL ME FOR ANYTHING.  ANYTHING!  YOU HEAR ME!  4) Be careful, Namu.  You and lil Seokie- be careful.  I know where you’re going with this and I just want you to proceed with caution.  Do you understand, Namu?”

“Yes, hyung.”

“Good.  Good.  Now, go enjoy your evening with your ‘friend’.  And think of a way to get me out of this arranged marriage!”

Namjoon smiles after Jin hangs up on him. 

“What did he say,” Hoseok asks, cheeks still pink.

“He says he likes you,” Namjoon grins. 

- - - - - - - - - - - -

A week after the video call, Namjoon finds himself in the library’s slot room.  Sorting out returns by genres. 

“Hey Public Admin, how goes it” asks Director JuLi, walking by with flattened boxes. 

Namjoon’s attention is peaked instantly.  He’s been waiting for the director to stop by again.  Hoping to get a word in with her. 

“Director, Director” says Namjoon, following JuLi to the recycling area. 

“Yes, Namjoon” the director responds, dumping off the boxes.  They walk down a corridor as Namjoon tries to figure out how to best approach his question.  His silence unnerves the director, causing her to stop in her tracks. 

“What is it Kim Namjoon?  Silence is…not really your thing,” the director says with concern. 

“Oh…uh…well, I have a question about…insurance.  And, I was hoping you could answer it.   Or, maybe, if your husband has time to relay an answer, you could ask him for me?”

The director registers Namjoon’s expression and nods her head.  She walks ahead, leading Namjoon into her office.  She allows him to take a seat first and asks if he wants it closed or open. 

“Closed, please” says Namjoon. 

JuLi closes the doors and opens the blinds to her office, just in case staffing is needed.  “We have about 20 minutes or so.  Depending on traffic and Johyun’s ability to hold down the fort.”  She takes a seat behind her desk, opposite Namjoon. 

“So, your insurance question.  Would you prefer that I ask my husband or would you prefer to speak to him directly?  In case you have follow up questions.”

Namjoon gulps, wishing Hoseok wasn’t working.  “I would prefer to speak to him directly, if you don’t mind.  And, since the questions I’m asking about are for Ho—my friend, it would be best if we could arrange a time that works for them both.  If that’s ok with you and him, of course.”

JuLi smiles at Namjoon.  “This is for your ‘giving him time to grow into a dream’ friend, right?  The one you like?”  Namjoon nods once.  “Well, my husband trusts me and I trust you.  I’ll call and see what he has available.”

JuLi is navigating thru her cell phone when Namjoon adds, “if your husband is available later today, that would be even better.  My friend is free in a few hours so we could do a conference call then.  If that works for him.”

JuLi nods before launching into a 2-minute confidence boosting speech to her husband.  She eventually gets him to free up time in the evening, making Namjoon want to jump for joy. 

“Thank you so much, Director JuLi,” Namjoon says, bowing.  JuLi puts her cell phone down on the desk, smiling back at Namjoon. 

“No worries.  Whatever it is, I hope my husband is able to help.”  She smiles before adding, “so, 6pm this evening.  It will be right before he leaves the office.  You can schedule a conference room now and take the call there with your friend.  I’ll be heading out of the office around that time so I’ll beat my husband home.” 

Namjoon bows several times more, even as he backs away out the door.  JuLi laughs and tells him to get back to work. 

[A few hours later]

“So, this man that’s going to call us…he’s a friend of your boss,” asks a hesitant Hoseok.

Namjoon offers a reassuring smile to Hoseok.  “He’s my boss’ husband, actually.  He’s a big wig in the insurance industry so he knows policies in and out.  We don’t have a will or any other information but we’ll do our best.  Just as we did with JK.”

Hoseok bows his head, nodding. 

“Hey,” says Namjoon, reaching across the table to take Hoseok’s hand in his own.  “What’s wrong?  You look exhausted.”  The bags under Hoseok’s eyes stand out.  “Should we have waited for tomorrow?  When you’re off?  I didn’t mean to—”

Hoseok squeezes Namjoon’s hand.  “Its fine, I’m fine.  Besides, I can sleep in tomorrow.”

Before Namjoon can respond, his phone starts vibrating on the table. 

They both inhale deeply before answering the phone, switching to speaker phone.

“Hello, this is JuLi’s husband: Min Yoongi.  Is this Kim Namjoon,” says a masculine voice from the phone. 

“Uh…y-yes, this is Kim Namjoon.  I am one of the library technicians.  Uhm, my friend is also in the room.  His name is Jung Hoseok.”

“Hello Min Yoongi-ssi.  I am Jung Hoseok.  Uhm, you’re calling us because of questions I have about an insurance policy.”  Hoseok bows to the phone even though it is just an audio call. 

“Yes, yes.  JuLi said she has friends who need answers about insurance.  What can I do for you?”

Hoseok looks to Namjoon with a worried expression.  Giving consent with his eyes for Namjoon to step in.  And so he does- taking time to carefully provide enough information about Hoseok’s situation without giving everything away. 

“So…you don’t know the insurance company that is handling your policy, Hoseok,” asks Yoongi.

“No…I’m…I’m sorry.  They never really mentioned what company they were with.  Or, if they did, I was just a kid.  Not really paying attention, unfortunately,” says Hoseok, looking over at a Namjoon who smiles and nods. 

“Hmm…well, based off the very vague bits of information, I would have to say that an insurance policy most likely exists and on top of that: it's probably not depleted.  Without access to the will, nothing is for sure.  But, if you had visits with insurance agents, annually, it would imply that you were…or are…a client of some value.  Hoseok, have any insurance agents tried to contact you recently?  Mailed notices or voicemails?  Or, have they tried to contact your aunt?”

Namjoon and Hoseok immediately look to one another.  Namjoon mutes the phone so they are not overheard.  “Her guilt-trips over the last two months!  The fact that she tried to get you to go back to her and your uncle!  I mean, all of a sudden, she’s got your phone number.  Is demanding you return and “pay” her back.  It’s a little odd.  No?”

Hoseok nods, “definitely!  She treated me like crap my whole life.  Like I was a burden.  You would think she’d be happy to be rid of me after I moved out.”

“Excuse me, are you still there,” asks Yoongi from the cell phone.  Namjoon immediately unmutes the phone. 

“Sorry, we’re still here.  We were just discussing a recent event that we were reminded of.  Hoseok’s aunt tried to contact him recently.  Told him he had to return to the household, her household.  It seemed like nothing at the time.  But…now, it just seems odd.”

The phone is silent for a bit.  “Hmmm, Hoseok, you’re absolutely sure you don’t know the insurance company where your policy is held?  No name or address or anything?”

Hoseok looks at the cell phone, sadly.  “No, I’m sorry.  I’m afraid I don’t.  I just remember a man with a flower on his business card.  He…he was nice so he was easy to remember.  Plus, he had…weird eyes.  One was brown and the other was like…a hazel color?” 

Hoseok bites his lip, afraid he’s just rambling and making it worse. 

“WAIT!  Say that again,” shouts Yoongi thru the speaker phone.

“H-he had a flower on his card—”

“No, the other bit.  His eyes were what color,” asks Yoongi.

“Oh, they were different from one another.  One was brown and the other was like hazel.  He was nice, always smiled—”

“Ha…small world, indeed,” says Yoongi.

“Is there a clue there,” asks Namjoon, looking at Hoseok.

“Well, I have to ask around to be sure.  But two different eye colors- that really eliminates a lot of options in the insurance field.  Sounds familiar but I need to look into it.  I may need a week or so.  I can do some digging on my side.  Is this your preferred contact number?”

“YES,” Namjoon and Hoseok shout, simultaneously, with excitement.  They thank Yoongi profusely and say their goodbyes before ending the call. 

“So, now that we have some kind of g—”

Before Namjoon can continue, his phone rings.  A goofy picture of Jin appears. 

“Hello…hyung?”

“Is it normal operating procedures to have no one manning the desk in the evening?”

“What?”

“I’m standing here with a copy of Hentai’s Hottest Harems-Volume 4 and no one will check this out for me.  Are you hiding in a corner somewhere?”

Namjoon and Hoseok exit the conference room quickly, walking towards the front desk. 

“Hyung!”

“Shhh…” says Jin with a smile, hugging his best friend.  “This is a library you know.  Silence is golden.”

“Oh please,” says Namjoon, releasing Jin and turning to his side to welcome over Hoseok.  “Libraries haven’t been quiet since 2002.  Blame the WiFi.”

Namjoon introduces Big and Lil Seok to one another.  Officially.  Hoseok is caught off guard when he’s pulled in for a hug. 

“Hyung, what brings you to Cheonju,” asks Namjoon.

“Hoseok,” says Jin, looking over to the younger man who seems a bit shyer all of a sudden.  “I wanted to meet him in person and see what assistance I could offer.”

“Oh…I’m so sorry,” says Hoseok, ready to launch into an apology about being such a burden.

“KIDDING, kidding.  I’m here to kick Namjoon’s ass because he still hasn’t found a way to free me from my marital shackle.  PLUS, I have a meeting tomorrow at Cheongju City Hall.  AND…I need to feed my lil Seok.  Lord, you looked thin over the video call.  You’re absolutely frail.  Is Namjoon starving you?  It’s not like him.”

“Hyung!  We…I’m off in less than two hours.  Give me some time, then we can all meet up for dinner,” says Namjoon, trying to usher his best friend towards the exit.

“We?  Pffft…what is Hoseok supposed to do?  Stay in the library and wait for you?”  Jin turns to Hoseok.  “Is that all your stuff?”  He points to Hoseok’s backpack.  After Hoseok nods, Jin turns back to Namjoon.

“You stay here and make our money.  Hoseok will tag along while I check into the hotel, find a suitable place for dinner and plot my dramatic escape from wedding bells.  Call us when you’re ready to be picked up.  C’mon lil’ Seokie.”  Jin takes Hoseok’s backpack, slings it over his shoulder and walks out of the library.

“You don’t have to go,” says Namjoon, stopping Hoseok.  “I can get you a quiet table and some inner peace.  Jin is just pushy.  He means well but he can be pushy.  You just have to push back a bit and he falls over,” says Namjoon with a smile. 

“Uh…it’s ok.  You trust him and I trust you so…” Hoseok shrugs his shoulders, looking down at his shoes.  “I told you before that I never really had friends.  It feels good to talk to other people who are different from me,” says Hoseok, looking back up to Namjoon.  “Talking to you makes me feel…more confident to do that.” 

Namjon smiles at Hoseok and removes his hand from Hoseok’s shoulder.  “In that case, I will see you later.  Make sure Jin checks his phone an hour from now.”

Hoseok smiles and nods.  He heads out the main entrance, making sure to turn back twice to wave at Namjoon. 

Joon: You better behave!  Hoseok is soft-spoken, soft-mannered.

Jin: And what I am?  A ruffian?

Joon: Sandpaper

Jin: Dick

Joon: Yes, I have one.

Jin: Yes, your chastity belt confirmed this.

Joon: Be back here in 80 minutes.  Don’t text and drive!

Jin: We’ll come back for you tomorrow.  Good night.

Joon: 80 minutes

Namjoon can’t help but be concerned. 

[2.5 Hours Later]

Jin moves his ice water off to the side of his dinner plate, hoping to avoid knocking it over. 

“So, to start: you’re an orphan,” says Jin, earning a sharp look from Namjoon. 

“Possibly a rich orphan,” Jin adds, Namjoon staring more daggers at his best friend. 

“But you’ve never seen the will and you only recall visits with lawyers and insurance agents,” Jin says, Hoseok nodding in reply. 

“You moved out after graduation and have been living by yourself, on your own, for almost two years, right?”  Hoseok nods again.

“And this aunt didn’t seem to care about your welfare until recently.  Trying to guilt trip you into returning to the house.  Motivation, unknown.” 

“Right,” says Namjoon, raising an eyebrow at his friend. 

“And now, you’ve roped in an actual insurance executive who needs a week to dive into the PLETHORA of details that I’m sure you’ve supplied,” Jin says, raising his eyebrow back at his best friend.  “Not to mention, piquing the interest of my current problem.”

Hoseok squints, confused. 

“My fiancé,” says Jin.

A ringing cell phone interrupts the group conversation.  “Sorry, it’s work.  Excuse me for a moment,” says Hoseok, before getting up and taking his call outside the small restaurant.  Still visible thru the restaurant windows.

“OUCH” shouts Namjoon, looking down at the red patch of skin on the back of his hand.  Then to his best friend.  “What the fuck!”

“Yeah, Namu: what the fuck!”  Jin shakes his head, “why?  Why didn’t you come to me about this, sooner?”

“What do you mean?  You’re the first person I thought of.  I even asked you to spare me some time during your family dinner with JK,” says Namjoon, rubbing the back of his hand as he scrunches his forehead at Jin. 

“That?  That was just questions to a lawyer!  I am the heir to SJ Group!  My family has billions at their disposal.  So many people, resources at the tip of our fingers!  I would have looked into this for you!  Why did you not come to me, directly?  And why are you using your boss’ husband as a…a...investigator!”  Jin says in the tone of a whispering-shout.

Namjoon sighs.  “We’ve been over this before.  We are friends, best friends!  You are not my sponsor or baby-sitter or handler.  I would never use—”

“Oh Not This Again!  I have told you, upon countless occasions, you can lean on me.  What are rich friends for if not to leech off of?”

Namjoon gives Jin a dead stare, not responding.

“I know, Namu.  I know you don’t want to use me.  I know…but…WE ARE BEST FRIENDS!  Practically brothers!  I want to help you.  But I can’t do that if you don’t tell me these things!  Namu…” Jin sighs, frustrated.

“I’m sorry,” says Namjoon, reaching over to pat his friend on the shoulder.  “I know you want to help.  And yes, I know we are brothers.  I would kill the earth for you, you know that.”

“And yet, you can’t even open up to me!  You can’t tell me when you need a hand!”  Jin is hurt- always wanting to help his best friend who never wants to take him up on the offer.  “I stand back from your mother and her job because you say its fine.  I don’t make moves to help your sister because you want her to exceed according to her own drive and hard work.  Which…I actually agree with that.  And I don’t help with your dad’s treatments because you threatened to disown me, to never talk to me again if I stepped in.”  Jin takes a breath.  “Ok, I did all of that because I care for your feelings about our friendship.  But then this!  This man who you are absolutely over the blue moon for—”

“I’m not—”

“Oh please!  Don’t insult my intelligence.  I’ve been your best friend since the days of frosted tips and flaming pajama pants: I’ve never seen you like this.  Even during the few dates and very-short-term relationships you’ve had, I have never seen you this invested in another person.  He smiles, then you smile.  He frowns, and you’re almost in tears.  He licks his lips and you’re ready to eat him.”

Namjoon hangs his head, not admitting it.

“And I’m not saying this as judgement, believe me!  I am so fucking happy for you.  Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this to happen to you?  For you to fall into a black hole of love?  I’ve been waiting a long damn time!  Cause if anyone deserves to be happy, it is you, Kim Namjoon.  You may deny it and block me out when I say it but you are the kindest, most generous, caring person I have ever met.  And everywhere I go, I would look for prospects for you.  Hoping to find someone who could deserve you.  Someone to make you happy.  But also someone to understand your heart, your life.  And to be honest, I don’t know this Jung Hoseok guy that well…but I can hope.  I hope he does, I hope he understands and loves you.  Because I am ready to blast the sun outta the solar system FOR HIM if it means you’ll be happy.”  Jin tilts his head, hoping to comfort his friend. 

Namjoon nods his head, “I know.  I know you would.”  Namjoon and Jin exchange smiles.

“I just…don’t want you to forget your hyung.  Ok?   I’m here for you.  Always!  I could snap my fingers and have a copy of that elusive will produced within three days.  I could crush his aunt and uncle all before the end of the evening.  I could set you both up with a loft in Seoul—”

“I get it, I get it,” says Namjoon, smiling.  “Just…before you go snapping and crushing our lives away, just give us a few days.  If Director JuLi’s husband can’t get us answers in a few days, I’ll reach out to you.”

Jin heaves a sigh of relief, shaking his head.

“But do NOT make any inquiries before then.  Do you understand, hyung,” asks Namjoon.  Stern.

“Alright, alright.  No moves until I have the green light,” says Jin.  He nods his head over to the door.  “Here comes your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” whispers Namjoon.

“You’ve eye-fucked him three times in my presence.  In some countries, that's considered a 5 year marriage,” whispers Jin before smiling up at Hoseok.

“Sorry about that, guys” says Hoseok, scooting back into their booth, slinking next to Namjoon who smiles.  (Jin eye rolls upon notice.)

“It was work.  They had to rearrange some schedules but they granted me three weeks of paid leave,” says Hoseok with a big smile.  “I haven’t taken time off since I started the job so they were surprised, but happy.” 

“Three weeks?  Nice!”  Namjoon grins.

“Yeah,” says Hoseok.  “You’re always helping me and trying to adjust to my schedule.  And I figured, since you’re helping me while working and juggling school and your family, the least I could do is free up time to accommodate your schedule.”

Namjoon blushes, biting his lower lip before saying, “thanks, Hobi.  You didn’t have to, really.  But, now that you have time off, I hope we get to find more answers and clear up this whole mysterious insurance plan.”

“And have more dinners,” says Hoseok, shyly- looking at Namjoon, throwing a glance at a bored Jin and then back at Namjoon who has the biggest smile on his face. 

“Definitely more dinners,” says Namjoon.

“Well…in the middle of all those 2-person dinners and solar system destruction, try to squeeze me in,” says Jin sarcastically.  “Don’t think you can go stealing my best friend,” Jin says to Hoseok.  “And don’t think you can hoard Seokie all to yourself,” Jin says to Namjoon. 

Namjoon and Hoseok smile at one another before facing Jin.  “So, we wait a few days then we’ll let you know what we find out,” says Namjoon.

“Good.  That settles that.  Moving on to more important matters,” says Jin, scooting inwards, resting his elbows on the table and placing his clasped hands under his chin.  “How do we make my fiancé disappear?”

Hoseok’s eyes widen as his mouth stays shut.

Namjoon’s place a hand over his eyes.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

[The Next Evening]

“Surveying the solution to remodeling public spaces that provide educational programs by reorganizing the city’s commerce budget,” Namjoon says, putting another book on the shelf. 

“That’s…the focus of your graduation project,” asks Hoseok, leaning against the art history shelf.

“Currently, yes.  It’s basically a breakdown of the way infrastructure budgets could be better used towards public buildings that host educational programs, like this library.  They’re so used to cutting spending on so many public programs like the library system.  However, by proving that a certain percent of our programs are educational- at least 33% of our annual budget- we could create a system that would—”

Namjoon’s phone vibrates in his pocket.  He takes it out to see the name “JuLi’s 2^nd: Yoongi” appear on his phone.  He quickly swipes to answer.  

“Hello?  Min Yoongi-ssi?”  Hoseok’s eyes widen as Namjoon stares back at him with his cell phone against his ear.  “Yes.  Yes.  Please give me a moment.  I need to get to a private room.” 

Namjoon nods at Hoseok to follow as he quickly makes his way towards the conference rooms.  He finds one open and shuts the door once Hoseok is inside.  They head to the table, gently laying down the cell phone before putting it on speaker phone. 

“Ok, Min Yoongi-ssi.  We’re in a private room and Hoseok is here, too.”

“Hello” says Hoseok as confirmation.

“Good,” says Yoongi before taking a deep breath.  “Like I said before, a brown eye and a hazel eye- that is a very specific characteristic.  And it just so happens that an insurance manager at one of our Busan offices has such a trait.  Lee Sejin.  He came over from White Lotus Insurance a few years ago- a company with a flower logo.  I was on a manger conference call this morning when I purposefully mentioned that a friend of mine was having some trouble getting his life insurance payments redirected from his legal guardian.  I name dropped Jung Hoseok and Cheongju.  Of course, that led to a separate phone call where Sejin did confirm that he had worked on a case for someone with that name in that city.  Confidentiality is crucial, of course, so the details of the policy were not discussed.  But he said that you definitely cannot have any trouble redirecting the monthly payout because the payments are going into your account.  An account in your name, specifically.  Managed by your legal guardian until you are of age, which you are.  But he said that he was the one who helped with the annual review and periodic check-in for the withdrawals.  Sejin admits that it’s been years since he’s seen you and that he handled your policy as recently as 6 years ago.  The transfer of funds were still going smooth at that time.”

Yoongi pauses, allowing Hoseok to soak it all in.  Namjoon watches Hoseok’s expression change.  His friend is retreating back into the shadows, it seems.  That sad-look that he carried so often into the library appears on his face.  Hoseok nods softly, acknowledging.  So Namjoon presses on in his stead. 

“He didn’t mention the payout amount?”

“Confidential, Kim Namjoon.  We do have to respect boundaries even if we’re just talking amongst colleagues,” says Yoongi. 

“Right, of course.  Uhm…you said he last handled the account about 6 years ago.  Does he happen to know who is handling that policy now?  Or, if there’s a contact at White Lotus that we can reach out to for more information” Namjoon asks. 

“I’ve got something even better,” says the voice over the phone.  “There’s a White Lotus Insurance office not far from the library.  It’s a couple bus stops away.  Right behind the Civil Union office on Liu Street.  I had Sejin check-in with his old co-workers who happen to run that office.  They are open and ready.  Jung Hoseok will need to take in two pieces of ID.  His ID or License card and a passport will work.  Or substitute the passport with an old school issued ID.  Once they can confirm its Hoseok, they can take over from there.”

Hoseok is still numb, wordless.

“Thank you, Min Yoongi-ssi.  We really, really appreciate it.  H-hoseok is a little speechless right now since everything we’ve had until now was purely speculation.  So, your news makes it all a little real,” Namjoon smiles at Hoseok who gulps. 

“Definitely real,” says Yoongi.  “I can say, based on the way our conversation developed, it must be a good-sized policy.  Sejin mentioned the payout would stop once the recipient turned 25 years of age.  At that point, the insurance policy would be paid out in full with options.  If that’s the case, it indicates the insurance policy may be larger than the average death insurance policy.  Either way, you get the details of the insurance policy, at least, today- if you can make it over there.”

“Thank you, Min Yoongi-ssi.  Thank you so much.  We’re really grateful,” says Namjoon.  He bows to the phone and Hoseok copies him. 

“Thank you,” adds Hoseok.

Namjoon and Hoseok thank Yoongi a few more times before ending the call.  Then, they both lean back in their chairs, sitting opposite one another, staring at each other. 

“Are you ok,” Namjoon asks.

Hoseok’s eyes water.  “I don’t know it’s just…going over all this policy stuff…it’s just giving me flashbacks from when I was a kid.  Moving into my aunt’s house, being yelled at everyday- not knowing what I did wrong.  Going to bed, wishing my parents would come back to life.  How I wished…so hard…for so long…that I could turn back time.  That I could…bring them back to life.  Escape that mad house.  Wondering how my life would be, could be different- had they not died.  Wondering if they loved me.” 

Hoseok tries to smile before hanging his head.  Namjoon gets up to take a seat next to Hoseok.  Taking Hoseok’s soft hand into his own, Namjoon smiles at his friend.  Trying to rub comfort into the back of his hand. 

“I heard nothing about the will, about the insurance.  I went on nothing for so long, not even stories about my parents from my aunt.  She only had bad things to say, to fill my head.”  Hoseok takes a deep breath, leaning his body against Namjoon. 

“But…if what Yoongi said about the insurance is true….then it means they did care for me.  Somewhat.  At least.  I mean, I was a little kid when the accident happened.  So, it’s not like they knew they would die young.  That means they had their affairs set on me early-on.  They planned my FUTURE before I even knew the meaning of the word.  They must have cared…they had to have cared,” says Hoseok, trying to convince himself. 

“They definitely cared,” says Namjoon.  He puts his arm around Hoseok, rubbing the man’s bicep.  “They sound like parents who loved you and wanted you to be taken care of.  PLUS, they sound like planners- people who tried to be as prepared as possible for whatever the future may bring.  No one knows what the future holds.  But they made that sure that if it didn’t include them, you would at least be financially stable.  The money itself cannot replace their love.  But the fact that they wanted you to never go hungry, to never be without shelter- I think that shows love.”

Hoseok cries into Namjoon’s arms.  Namjoon envelops him into a big hug, rubbing Hoseok’s back.  The tears seep thru Namjoon’s shirt, making Namjoon smile.  Hoseok empties his tears ducts, practically.  Trying to dry his entire face on his own sleeve, before sitting back up. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Hoseok smiles.  Still patting his face.  “I thought I got all my tears out when I finally moved out of that place.” 

Namjoon smiles.  “Crying alone is different from crying with a friend.” 

“A friend?” 

“Yes, a friend.  Are we…not friends,” asks Namjoon. 

Hoseok blushes.  “Yes…uhm…friends.”  Hoseok looks up at Namjoon with desire in his eyes.

Then, it’s happening.  That magnetic thing where they start to lean into one another.  To the point where Namjoon can hear Hoseok gulp, making him smile. 

Ring

Ring

Unfortunately, Namjoon’s cell phone has other plans.

Ring

Ring

“Hello” says Namjoon, answering as he and Hoseok straighten up in their chairs. 

“Yes” says Namjoon into the phone, mouthing the word Mom to Hoseok who smiles and nods. 

“Yes, Mom.”

“No, Jin went back to Seoul right after his meeting this morning.”

“Yes, I can.  I have an errand to run but I can be home after that.”

“I can.  Is everything ok?”

“Ok, will do.  Do you need anything else from the store?”

“Ok, I will.  I’ll see you later then.”

“Love you Mom.”

“I’ve got a grocery store errand after we stop off at the insurance office,” says Namjoon.

“Are you sure…about going to the insurance office with me,” asks Hoseok.

“Of course!   I mean, well, if you want me to.  But, if you’d like to hear the details by yourself, Hobi- I understand.  I hope I’m not trespassing in any way.  I’m just trying to be supportive,” says Namjoon with a look of worry. 

“What are you talking about?  I need you there, of course!  Otherwise, I’ll just cry by myself and nod without understanding,” Hoseok says. 

They both laugh as they get up from their chairs. 

“Well, it just so happens that no one called in today.  Which means the library is fully staffed, so they can afford to have one less person for the rest of the day.”  Namjoon smiles, slipping his arm around Hoseok’s shoulders.  “So we can head out in an hour and catch the office before closing hours.” 

Namjoon and Hoseok smile at each other.  Going back to their cart in the art history aisle, shelving books and being all heart-eyes over one another.  Causing Director JuLi to smile at them as she passes by. 

{White Lotus Insurance- Cheongju office}

“Hello!” 

A man sitting behind a desk stands up to greet Namjoon and Hoseok after the two enter the insurance office.  They bow to the older gentlemen, introducing themselves and mentioning Lee Sejin.  In twenty minutes, all the necessary verifications have been completed, Hoseok’s contact information has been updated (removing his aunt’s information) and the policy is pulled up for review. 

“So, according to the plan’s history, there has been a 1,300,000 KW payout every month starting August 2005 which equates to about 15,600,000 KW every year.  That’s almost $14,000 USD every year.”

The insurance agent stops when Hoseok squeaks.  Namjoon turns to a Hoseok who looks sheet-white.  He takes Hoseok’s hand into his own.  Trying to get over his own shock, smiling at the insurance agent.  “Please continue” says Namjoon. 

The agent nods and looks back at the screen.

“That was about 16 years ago which is over 249,600,000 KW across the course of the payout so far.  That’s about $224,000 USD since the start of the transfer schedule.  It was to be managed by your legal guardian, Cho SunHae, until you became of age to take over the deposit account yourself.  You have about 3 ½ more years left of the payment schedule before the release of the entire policy upon your 25^th birthday.  If we adjust for the next payment schedule from the current balance that means 111,822,352,300 KW would be the available balance when you turn 25 years of age.  That’s…over $99 million USD.” 

The agent pauses, looking up to Hoseok who has nearly collapsed into Namjoon’s lap. 

“I…I…I can’t breathe…”

Namjoon takes Hoseok outside of the insurance office for some fresh air.  Thanking the insurance agent who also pops outside to hand them a cup of water before returning to his desk. 

“I…” Hoseok looks at Namjoon, words not forming. 

“Wow…uhm…I don’t even know what to say,” Namjoon says to a Hoseok who throws his hands in the air, just as confused.  “Congrats?  Or…yay?”

Namjoon bites his lower lip, not sure how to comfort the stunned billionaire. 

“He…I…” Hoseok shuts up.  Inhaling deeply, trying to calm himself.  When Namjoon warms him with a hug, he can only bury his head in the man’s chest.  Trying to wrap his head around all the commas and digits.

“Did that just happen Joon?  Am I…really…”

“Unbelievably rich?  Yes, yes you are.” 

“I don’t…have any words…”

“And I won’t press you for any.  However, we should finish this visit and get as much information about your parents as we possibly can,” Namjoon says, looking down to Hoseok who looks up to him and nods in agreement. 

An hour later, Namjoon and Hoseok find themselves at the bus stop.  Hoseok leaning into Namjoon’s side. 

“So, she knew.  She knew that I was about to be a cash cow, an extremely large cash cow.  And she tried to keep me there, treating me like shit the entire time.” 

Namjoon squeezes Hoseok closer to him. 

“I…I don’t know what to say,” Hoseok says for the 9^th time that evening.  Namjoon smiles at him. 

“You don’t have to say anything.  Let your mind adjust.” 

Hoseok stares back him so intently.  Namjoon offers a small smile, trying to lessen the burden of the moment that Hoseok might be feeling. 

“C-can…can I come over to your house,” asks Hoseok.

Namjoon is so caught off guard that his face must show it. 

“I mean…you can say no.  I know that you worked and had classes today so I don’t want to add to your troubles.  I just…I feel so alone,” Hoseok tries to say more but he stops, feeling his emotions in his throat. 

Namjoon juggles the chaos of his household.  Hoping the universe can help tame it for one evening, Namjoon says “sure.  You can come over!  I’m not hesitating because I don’t want you to come over.  I just…I can never be certain what type of family theatre will be on display.  It’s the only reason I’ve never invited you over before.”  Namjoon smiles.

“I’m ok…if you’re ok,” says Hoseok.  Not wanting to pry into Namjoon’s home life but also not wanting to be alone at the end of such an eye-opening day. 

“Alright.  Well, in that case, let’s head over to my train stop,” Namjoon says.

“And the grocery store…your mom called about the grocery store,” Hoseok reminds him.

“OH YEAH!  Thanks Hobi.  There’s a store by my house, we’ll get what we need there.”  Namjoon texts his mother that he’s bringing over a friend as they head to the train station.

Hoseok and Namjoon pick up the milk and onions as requested, and a bottle of wine from Hoseok (as a house guest gift). 

“Mom…it’s me.  I’m home,” Namjoon says, as he and Hoseok discard their shoes at the landing. 

“I’m in the kitchen,” his mother shouts. 

Hoseok takes a deep breath, nervous about meeting Namjoon’s family but happy to be thinking about anything other than money. 

Namjoon introduces Hoseok to his mom and sister.  Luckily, dinner is ready and they’re seated and eating in a matter of minutes.   

“Where’s dad?”

“Today’s appointment knocked him out a bit.  He’s going to probably sleep until morning.  I needed the milk and onions to make him a hearty breakfast tomorrow,” says Namjoon’s mother.  “Hoseok…thank you, again, for the bottle of wine.  It’s lovely.  Not too sweet.” 

Hoseok smiles proudly, not mentioning that it was Namjoon who picked it out.

“Are you my brother’s boyfriend,” asks Namjoon’s sister, Heejoon. 

“HEEJOON!”  Mrs. Kim reprimands her, giving her a hard stare. 

Namjoon laughs.  “It’s ok, Mom.  And no, we’re just friends.  Really good friends.”

Hoseok nods.  “Yes, we met at the library, actually.” 

“Do you both attend the same university,” Heejoon asks.

“No, actually.  I’m not a university student.  Yet…hoping to change that,” says Hoseok, smiling at Namjoon.

“Ha…you’re lucky!  Seoul has so many options when it comes to exceptional universities.  Right mom?”

Namjoon sighs, trying to wrap up the dinner.  Quiet night?  Probably not. 

Hoseok and Namjoon clear away most of the table and do the little bit of dishes in the sink as Mrs. Kim and Heejoon lay out another argument in Heejoon’s room. 

“I’m sorry.  This…I know I’ve told you about it before but it’s different when the family drama unfolds before guests,” says Namjoon to Hoseok, drying the last dish that is handed to him. 

Hoseok shrugs.  “It’s ok.  This is actually calming, in some ways.  I get an idea as to what a normal family looks like.  Compared to what I come from, this is nice.” 

Namjoon eye rolls as he and Hoseok make their way into his bedroom.  They both crash onto the bed, not even bothering to turn on the lights.  So tired that they don’t even have room to feel the awkwardness of laying in the same bed, together, for the first time.  Emotionally drained, letting the streetlights spill in thru the window. 

“Do you want to sleep over?”

“Would…that be ok with your family?”

“Yeah, my mother likes you.  The wine was all it took.”

“Thanks again for picking it, Joon,” Hoseok smiles.  Grabbing a pillow and stuffing it under his head.  Reveling in how comfortable he feels in Namjoon’s home. 

Namjoon smiles, his eyes closed.  “So.  We need to recap, as exhausting as that sounds.”  Hoseok moans into the pillow, turning away from Namjoon. 

“One: your aunt and uncle kept this hidden from you your whole life.  The insurance agent said that they had been trying to reach you, by mail and phone, since you came of age.  That’s also why your aunt has been desperate to contact you.  As your legal guardian, she could withdraw funds when you were a minor.  But, when you came of age and left the house, she had no access to your account.  Two: you have to go to the bank tomorrow to set up a new account and have the funds transferred there, breaking all ties with your aunt and uncle.  But you also need to notify White Lotus asap because they have to reroute the future payout transfers.  That will give you a balance of over 23,535,000 ($21,000 USD) when you open the account, assuming it was emptied right before your birthday.  Three: you’re going to have trek to Seoul in the next 3 months.  A copy of the will and the explanation of your father’s other assets- all of it’s in the big city.  Which means you can visit Jin.  And lastly, Four: what do you want to do about your aunt and uncle.  The money in the past that they took out and used, all of it- how do you want to confront them?”

Namjoon stops to look over at Hoseok who turns to face Namjoon, laying his head on the pillow. 

“First of all, what do you mean my visit with Jin?  I think you mean OUR visit with Jin-hyung.  I am not going anywhere without you.  ANYWHERE.” 

Namjoon feels like he shouldn’t smile at that statement but he does. 

“Second…regarding my aunt and uncle.  Let me take care of that Joon.  I…I need time to think on it.  To mull it all over.  A big part of me just wants to cut the ties here.  I want to never speak their names, see their faces ever again.  I want to never lay my eyes upon that house.  I want…to be so far away from them, away from it all.  Cleanse myself of them both.  But, there’s also anger and resentment inside me.  So much.  I don’t feel like I can think or decide right now.  At least not clearly.” 

Namjoon smiles.  “It’s good that you recognize that, Hobi.  I will help you with whatever you decide.  If you want to drag them thru court, we can do that.  If you want to cut the cord here and move on with your life, I support that, too.” 

Hoseok smiles back at him.  Reaching out for Namjoon’s hand on the bed, intertwining their fingers. 

“Kim Namjoon…I don’t know what I would do without you.”  Hoseok softly whispers the statement, knowing every word to be true. 

“Pftt…you would be fine wi—”

“No, I wouldn’t.  I know I wouldn’t.  I would be…sad…depressed…in a lonely corner with my own insecurities.  Still gazing at pictures of blue oceans in the dark.”  Hoseok sniffles.

Namjoon doesn’t look at Hoesok, afraid he might cry, too.  He opts to stare at the ceiling, feeling their hands squeeze. 

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Jung Hoseok.  You are more than what you think are.  Like I’ve said before: you just haven’t realized it yet,” Namjoon whispers in the dark.

Hoseok scoots over to Namjoon, laying on his side.  Draping his hand over Namjoon’s chest.  “Is…this ok?” 

Namjoon is glad it’s dark in the room.  To hide his blushing.  Instead, he takes Hoseok’s leg and throws it over his own.  “Now it’s ok.” 

Namjoon stifles his laugh when Hoseok giggles into his arm. 

“Good night, Joon” says Hoseok, leaning his lips against Namjoon’s shoulder. 

Hoseok is caught off guard when Namjoon’s lips brush against his own.  “Good night, billionaire Jung Hoseok.” 

Hoseok can’t contain the huge smile on his face as he closes his eyes.  Eventually falling asleep to the sound of Namjoon’s breathing.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

[Seoul: 2.5 months later]

“When will Jin get here?”  Hoseok paces back and forth, wringing his hands.

“Probably within the hour.  He said he wanted to make a stop first before coming over.  Why?”  Namjoon asks, combing his fingers thru his hair that’s still damp from the shower.  He goes over to an anxious Hoseok, wrapping his arms around him, from behind.  Facing them both towards the city line.  Enjoying their hotel view from the 38^th floor.  The late afternoon in Seoul is filled with sunlight and a hint of smog across the river.  Little cars and people peppering the streets below.  Buildings intermingled with trees and hills. 

“I…I want to make the call Namjoon.”  Hoseok turns in Namjoon’s arms, bringing them face to face.  “I want to make the call.  Right now.  Before…before I lose my courage.  My determination.”

“The call?”  Namjoon’s face morphs into one of surprise.  “The call to your aunt and uncle?  R-right now?  Are you sure?”

Hoseok nods furiously.  “I am absolutely sure.  On this journey with you, over the last three months, I’ve never been as sure as I am right now.  Knowing what I know from the will and my father’s other assets, I need to make the call.  I need the closure.” 

Namjoon questions it no further.  He moves away to grab Hoseok’s phone and to drag them both over to the smooth white sofa.  They take a seat, Namjoon holding the cell phone out to Hoseok. 

“I support you, Hoseok.  And, I think it’s a great idea.  Better to call now before Jin arrives though.  What do you think?”  Hoseok nods, taking the phone in his hand.  There is hesitation for just a moment when the phone is unlocked.  But once Hoseok pushes past it, a ringing sound emanates from the call on speaker phone. 

“Jung Hoseok,” an older female answers.  “What took you forever to call?  I told you to call me back months ago.  But you’re just now getting around to it!”

“Hello, Aunt SunHae.”  Namjoon takes a glance at Hoseok, seeing the calm fury in his eyes.  He looks back at the phone, holding his tongue.  Letting Hoseok do what he needs to do. 

“Where are you right now?  Your uncle will come and pick you up.  You can bring all your stuff right back—”

“I’m not coming back, Aunt SunHae.”  Hoseok says it so calmly that Namjoon feels his face squint in reaction.

“What?  What did you say?”

“I said…I’m Not Coming Back.  This is a good bye call.”

“Not coming back?  What an ungrateful…YOU BRING YOUR ASS RIGHT BACK TO THIS HOUSE.  DO YOU HEAR ME, JUNG HOSEOK?  YOU THINK YOUR DEBT TO US IS PAID?  WE FED YOU AND CLOTHED YOU AND TOOK CARE OF YOUR EDUCATION.  YOU’RE INDEBTED TO US!”

Namjoon clenches his jaw.  Still silent.

“Yes, I am not coming back.  And debt?  You speak to me of debt?  I would think that 225,000,000 KW would be more than enough for the 15 years I stayed in your house.  That monthly insurance payout should have been more than enough, especially over time, to take care of my housing and meal expenses.  Don’t you agree, aunt?”

There’s breathing coming thru the phone, no response.

“What?  Did you think I wouldn’t find out?  That my parents set up a healthy insurance payout, ensuring that I was well provided for?”

Still no response.  At this point, tears glisten in Hoseok’s eyes.

“Hahaha…it’s so funny.  You would always rant about how irresponsible and stupid my parents were.  How they deserved what they got.  Deserved a short life.” 

Hoseok’s tears spill over. 

“And this whole time, you were reaping the benefits from their demise.  Stealing from their son, from a little boy.  A little boy you couldn’t take the time to properly dress or care for.  A little boy who you treated like a slave, like a burden.  A little boy who you tried to keep under your thumb, shutting him in- keeping him away from everyone else.”

Hoseok’s anger is everywhere.  It’s in his voice, his tears, his face- everywhere.

“YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO BAD MOUTH MY PARENTS!  A BITTER, HOSTILE WOMAN RAPPING THE KNUCKLES OF A FIVE YEAR OLD BOY BECAUSE HE’S HUNGRY!  LEAVING A SEVEN YEAR OLD BOY OUT IN THE COLD BECAUSE HE ACCIDENTALLY RIPPED HIS SHIRT- ONE OF YOUR INFAMOUS HAND ME DOWNS THAT WERE ALREADY THREADBARE!  LOCKING A TWELVE YEAR OLD BOY IN HIS ROOM FOR THREE DAYS BECAUSE HE BURNED BREAKFAST!”

Still no response from the other end of the line.

“All these years, you stole from me.  From the life insurance payout that my parents set up for me.  You treated me like I was less than your cat.  Like I wasn’t even family.  All while stuffing your face with my money!  Hahaha….hahahahaha….”

Namjoon doesn’t spare a glance to Hoseok, wanting him to get it all out.  But he does rest a hand on Hoseok’s knee. 

“The joke is on you!  It’s all on you!  Those payouts over the last 15 years…they were nothing.  Nothing!  Just scraps compared to what my parents left for me.  The insurance release, my dad's other financial assets valued at more than 4 times the full insurance plan- it’s so much more.  SO MUCH MORE.  And I want you to know that.  I want you to know that you can keep the money you squeezed from me while I was your house guest.  Keep it all.  Hell, I hope you spent it all!  I hope it’s all gone!  Because you’ll never see another funds transfer ever again.  The billionaire that I’ve become, from this day forward, will not know you.  I disown you from ever calling me family.  I reject any claim that you may ever attempt to make regarding our biological connection.  Never claim that you have a nephew named Jung Hoseok.  Don’t ever call me, write me, email me- none of it.  And if you try to get a hold of me, I will file a court order against you.” 

Hoseok reaches over to the cell phone.  “This is where our story ends.”  He hangs up, his heavy breathing the only sound in the room.  Namjoon blinks a couple times before looking over to Hoseok.  The man’s face is tear streaked, red-eyed.  His chest is rising and falling, coming down from the wave of emotion.  Namjoon turns Hoseok to him, the adrenaline still showing on his face. 

Gently, Namjoon brushes his lips against Hoseok’s- surprising the other. 

“I don’t know if I’m supposed to clap or hug you,” says Namjoon, smiling.  Hoseok immediately goes in for a hug. 

“Just hold me, Kim Namjoon.  Hold me and don’t let go,” Hoseok whispers, trying to still his heart.  Trying to dissipate the ferocity within.  Drinking in Namjoon’s after shower-smell.

Twenty minutes later, their couch cuddling is interrupted by Kim Seokjin- arriving with take-out dinner. 

“Namjoon…did you make him cry,” asks Jin, observing Hoseok’s puffy eyes as they both lay the food out onto the dining table. 

“No, he didn’t,” answers Hoseok with a smile.  “I had an overdue phone call that I needed to wrap up today.  Part of the asset evaluation, you could say.” 

They all sit down to eat, catching Jin up on the details of their short visit to Seoul and Hoseok’s morning meeting. 

“Hold on…you mean to say…you’re a newly minted kajillionaire and I’m the one who bought dinner?”  Jin asks.

“Hyung,” Namjoon reprimands softly. 

“Ok, ok.  Jokes.”  Jin smiles.  “So, you rented a fancy hotel room for a few days and are wrapping up personal affairs regarding your parents’ will.  Well, I’m just glad you two remembered to call me,” says Jin, raising his beer bottle in the air before drinking. 

“Actually, we did need to discuss something with you.  Well, get your advice,” says Namjoon.  “Hoseok…he…there’s a lot to manage now.  We have no idea where to start with wealth management besides hiring someone in the field.  Hoseok was hoping you could give him some pointers on where to start.  What to do.”

“Things have been going well up til now.  No complaints on that end of course.  But, my 25^th birthday is a few years away.  I won’t know what to do then.”  Hoseok adds.

“Wealth management?”  Jin nods his head, gulping down the bite of food.  “You’ve come to the right place.  If your 25^th birthday is the starting point, then we have time.  But we shouldn’t procrastinate.  Ride out the rest of this year.  Starting January of next year, we’ll set up several meetings.  We want to involve the firm your parents hired, and if they’re available, the lawyers in that firm that dealt directly with them.  It’s not needed, but the familiarity is good to have.  Especially since they know a side of your parents that you don’t.”

Hoseok has a sad look in his eye as he smiles and nods in agreement. 

It’s a sad look that Namjoon has come to accept from Hoseok, showing itself from time to time.  Losing a big part of your life, losing your parents- it's a badge that one carries, always.  There are times when Namjoon is needed to hug the pain into warmth.  And there are times where Hoseok just needs to be left alone to embrace the void.  But always, it is love. 

“…and it’s good to have options.  Just because I have a wealth management team that I trust, it doesn’t mean it will be the right fit for you.  You’ll have to shop it, see how you feel.  With that said, you should be looking into real estate here in Seoul.  NOT because I want my friends closer.”  Jin side whispers: “although, that’s always a plus for me.”  Namjoon and Hoseok smile. 

“Having a place in Seoul will bring a piece of mind if you decide to make more trips to the city based on how you proceed with your assets.  The first month of planning and the months leading up to your birthday may require your presence in Seoul a bit more frequently than you think,” says Jin.

“Why can’t he just stay with you,” asks Namjoon, aware of Jin’s underlying motive.

“Well, he could.  I mean, we have a lot of space in our high-rise.  We don’t use all five floors.  There’s a couch in there somewhere.  But, you know…investing in property or even a flat in Seoul would be a good first step.  Even before your 25^th birthday.”

“Or…you just want to trap us here,” says Namjoon, smiling.  Hoseok smiles beside him. 

“AND?  SO WHAT IF I DO?  WOULD THAT BE SUCH A BAD THING?”  Jin shouts, food projecting from his mouth.  Namjoon and Hoseok smile.  “Shut up!  You’re both useless.  This whole time you’ve been cuddling in the apple tree, I’ve been stuck at the bottom trying to flee the roots of this arranged marriage!” 

“Joonie is just kidding.  Besides…a flat in Seoul, property in Seoul- it does sound lovely,” says Hoseok.  Namjoon doesn’t react outwardly but something within him wilts.  “It would be nice to have a place in the city.  Especially since university is somewhere in the future.”

Jin looks over at his best friend, silently eating another bite.  He decides to say nothing, opting to change the subject.  “So, lil Seokie- what is on your list of TO-DOs now that the world is at your fingertips?  You liked the travel section in the library, yes?”

The rest of the dinner conversation heads into different avenues wherein Hoseok can invest and how Jin can help.  Jin gives them both a hug before parting for the evening.  Lingering in his hug with Namjoon. 

The minute the door closes and half the table is cleared, Hoseok asks, “what’s wrong Joonie?  What did I say?”

Namjoon looks over at a pouting Hoseok.  He smiles, “nothing.  You said nothing.  Why?  Is something wrong?”  Namjoon continues to clear the table away. 

“You’re quiet.  You’re never this quiet.  Not when I need protecting against Jin’s sense of humor.”  Hoseok continues to watch Namjoon as he finishes clearing the table top before moving along to push the chairs in. 

“Nothing’s wrong.  I was just…lost in thought.  Thinking about work when I get home and my team project that’s due in two weeks.  Just thinking.”  Namjoon is about to walk past Hoseok when he’s pulled into a hug, chest to chest. 

“Joonie…is it because I mentioned Seoul.  I won’t talk about it again if you don’t want me to,” Hoseok’s eyes glisten and Namjoon gives in.  He rubs the man’s back with one hand and uses the other to push some strands of hair back into place. 

“It’s fine, Hobi.  It is…you should… should plan your future,” says Namjoon.  And he knows that the conversation he had played in his head, had hoped would be further in the future, has arrived.  “If you want to move to Seoul, Hobi, don’t let anything stop you.  Not me, not Jin, not anyone else.  If you want to move here or Busan or wherever, you should.  You have to do what’s right for you.  I support you always.  I tell you that all the time and I mean it all the time.  Don’t hold back on moving to Seoul or talking about moving to Seoul just because of me.” Namjoon finishes with a lump in his throat.  Because although he means the words, it doesn’t make them any less painful.

He’s spent more than half the year with Hoseok: talking on the phone every night, seeing him almost every day, eating dinner with him at least 3 times a week.  Having more movie nights, more sleepovers, more 2^nd and 3^rd base bedroom sessions.  Discussing and debating everything in their lives: past, present and what they want to accomplish in the future.  But somehow, the setting of the future was never discussed.  Moving away from Cheongju was never discussed. 

“How can I plan a future without you,” cries Hoseok, catching Namjoon off guard.  Followed by a light punch on the chest.  “What do you mean ‘if I plan to move to Seoul’?  Do you think I would move without you?  Or your family?”

“Hobi,” Namjoon sighs.  “Don’t…don’t tie your fate to me.  Don’t—”

“STOP!  Just STOP!”  Hoseok cries louder, backing away from Namjoon.  “Don’t tell me to move away from you.  Don’t separate me from you.  They go together.  They do.  I’m in love with you Kim Namjoon.  I’m in love with you AND I love you and I love your family and…and I’m not moving away from you.”

Namjoon proceeds forward but Hoseok takes a few more steps back.  “Don’t say that you have to take care of your family.  I know that.  I would never ask you to not do that.  It’s part of the reason why I love you.  I know that loving you means loving your family.  And I want to be a part of it.  A part of your life.” 

“Hobi…it’s just that…there are so many moving pieces in my life right now—”

“I KNOW!  I’m one of them.  Don’t forget me.”

“—I’m not, I promise.  It’s just that…with my dad and my mom and my sister.  Plus, I have a couple more years left of school.  I can’t just leave Cheongju right now—”

“And I’m not asking that.  I don’t want you to give up your dream of becoming a Library Director.  I want to support it.  Any way I can.  If that means buying a house and hiring a part-time nurse, let’s do that.  If it means supporting your family so your mom can stay home and spend time with your dad, let’s do that.  If it means paying for Heejoon to get into a good school, let’s do that, too.”

“Hobi!”  Namjoon advances a step forward as Hoseok takes a step back.  “Look, I had to practically threaten Jin to get him to take a step back.  Would I love to attend a graduate program in Seoul?  Definitely.  But, I don’t want to get too comfortable relying on others just because they have money.  I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness, of your generosity.”

“It’s too late.”

Namjoon stops.  “What do you mean?  What’s too late?”

“I already spoke to your mother.”

Namjoon takes a deep breath.  “What do you mean Hobi?”

“I asked her about your dad’s treatments and she said that there was a program in Seoul that was offered earlier this year.  Due to financial obligations, she said that it’s not a possibility right now.  She hopes to get into the Seoul treatment program after you graduate from university.  She wanted you to finish school first.”

Namjoon takes a step back.  Stunned by the new information.  “She said what?”

“I never asked Heejoon for her input because we can hear it every night from your bedroom,” says Hoseok.

There’s a moment of silence that passes in between them. 

“Are you angry with me,” Hoseok asks, stepping closer while biting his lip.

Namjoon doesn’t know what to say because the revelation about the Seoul treatment program makes sense.  He had asked his mother on multiple occasions about whether the doctor had offered any other medical treatments and she had been vague with her answers.  Avoiding further questions.  I should have dug deeper, Namjoon thinks.  Of course his parents would put him first- making sure he graduated from university BEFORE moving onto higher-cost treatment facilities in Seoul. 

Namjoon felt the guilt pouring in.  Guilt and sadness because every day that went by was crucial, especially for his father. 

“Namjoon…are you…angry with me,” asks Hoseok, tugging on his sleeve.  Close enough that Namjoon can see Hoseok’s eyelashes holding back his tears from falling.  “I did not mean to pry.  In fact, I didn’t.  I only asked your mother, once.  When were in the kitchen, while washing dishes.  I think she just let it out because she needed to vent.  She just had another screaming match with Heejoon by phone and it was just all…adding to her stress levels.  So we talked and had wine.  Then she just…mentioned it.”

Namjoon nods slowly, acknowledging Hoseok’s explanation and not sure what to say since his mother had been holding back from him.  Probably with support from his father.

“Kim Namjoon, I hope you’re paying attention because I really…REALLY don’t want to repeat this.  But I will if I have to,” says Hoseok, inhaling.  Namjoon looks him in the eye, expectantly.

“Money can’t buy happiness.  It can’t.  And NO, I’m not saying that because all of a sudden I’ve been flooded with cash and some kind of bougie enlightenment.  That’s not it.  I just…I know that right now, if I were to walk away from you.  If I bought an island in the Pacific and hired a staff to feed and house me for all the days of my life, I would not be happy.  If I moved to Macau and bought a hotel and lived a fast life of gambling and expensive clothes and shiny watches, I would not be happy.  If moved to Seoul and bought a nice house and a nice car and went to a top-level university, I would not be happy.  None of it could make me happy…not without you.”

A tear slides down Hoseok’s cheek.  “I went from a house where no one loved me to a lonely room where no one held me.  This…inheritance- it didn’t bring my parents back.  It only brought me more questions about life, it didn’t fill it with joy.  YOU did that.  YOU made sure I ate dinner and told me jokes and taught me about self-sufficiency.  YOU encouraged me to dream and grow and experience things.  YOU showed me that life is hard but we need to always move forward.  You gave me family drama AND family joy.  You filled my hours with motivational pep speeches and hugs and love.”

Namjoon and Hoseok both close their eyes, rubbing their cheeks against one another. 

“Money can buy a house in Seoul but it can’t buy the family that makes it into a home.  But it can provide comfort.  It can buy into the treatment program here.  It can get Heejoon into a good university.  It can relieve some of the financial pressure from your mom.  It can help us carve a place to grow old.  Because I’ve already decided, Kim Namjoon- I want to spend the rest of this life with you.”

Namjoon captures Hoseok’s cry with his lips.  The feverous passion of their kiss increasing with every alternating slant of their lips.  Warm moaning, tongues prodding.  Soft, juicy lips tangled together.  They make it to the couch, lips glued together.  Hoseok on Namjoon’s lap, straddling him.  Lips melding into one another. 

They finally slow down to a pause, breathing against each other’s cheek.  Trying to bring down their heart rates.   

“I’ll go wherever you go, Kim Namjoon” Hoseok says against Joon’s lips.  “I want to be with you wherever you are.  Please…please don’t push me away.” 

Namjoon takes a look at Hoseok.  His worried eyes, his pinched forehead, his trembling chin.  Namjoon smiles, brushing a kiss against Hoseok’s lips.  His smile turns into a light laugh. 

“What,” asks Hoseok, wrapping his arms around Namjoon’s neck.

Namjoon shakes his head with a big grin on his face. 

“I really...REALLY need to learn how to say ‘No’ to you.”

Hoseok buries his head in Namjoon’s neck. A small smile taking shape.  “Can you learn that in like…40 years?  How to say ‘no’ to me.”

Hoseok bites his lip, joyful at the feeling of Namjoon’s rumbling laugh.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

[Three years later]

“Kim Namjoon!”

Namjoon and his mother are talking to wedding guests when the voice pierces the air.  Trying to keep calm in the room of billowy white curtains, white roses and endless rows of white LED lights, Namjoon slowly walks to the open door at the end of the ballroom.  He’s immediately pulled out by Hoseok.

“What?  What did I do—”

Hoseok shuts the door behind them and takes him by the hand.  They move past other people in the white corridors, bowing in their sleek tuxes. 

“Jung Hoseok…where are we going?”

They both smile at attendees on their way past, scaling a staircase to the next floor. 

“Damage control,” says Hoseok. 

They finally get to a quiet hallway.  Hoseok opens the door to loud slurring that sounds like an attempt to sing. 

“N-n-nam….Nammmuu…” says a tipsy Jin.  “Lil Shookie, where’s the soju?  I…I told you I need…a refill.”  Jin hiccups, wearing boxers and business socks and a white tshirt. 

“What.  The.  Fuck.”  Namjoon is stunned to see his best friend in that state.  Namjoon pulls back his sleeve, seeing the time.  He turns to Hoseok, “we have exactly one hour to make him decent.” 

“Great.  How do you suppose we do that?” 

“Grab his tux.  Bag the essentials: a comb, gel, breath mints, cologne and eye drops.  I need a moment to think while you do that.” 

Hoseok nods, whipping around the dressing room to get all the things into a bag as Namjoon requested.  Namjoon is still standing next to Jin, trying to figure out the quickest way to get his best friend sober enough for his own wedding ceremony. 

“N-namu…I want soju ice cream.  Gimme…soju…ice cream…”Jin rambles, mumbling into his friend’s arm as he tries to stay upright. 

“GOT IT!”

Minutes later, Hoseok is getting into an elevator with Jin’s suit in one hand and a backpack in the other.  Namjoon follows him carrying Jin, wrapped up entirely in a black curtain, bridal style. 

“Of all the fucking days, Kim Seokjin…”

Hoseok tries not to laugh at their current dilemma.  “What floor?”

“G.  The ground floor.  We need the kitchen.”

Hoseok selects the floor.  “In all the years I’ve known you Joonie, I’ve always trusted you.  Never questioned it.”  Hoseok looks over to Namjoon who raises an eyebrow at him.  “And I have never ONCE regretted it or been disappointed.” 

Namjoon tries not to preen at the compliment, focused on carrying his drunk BFF wrapped in a curtain. 

“Left.  The kitchens are left.” 

Once Namjoon and Hoseok make their way into the empty kitchen, Hoseok sets the suit and backpack down on a clear, silver work space.  Namjoon walks over to the entrance of a walk-in fridge. 

“Open please” Namjoon says to Hoseok.

Hoseok manages to open the fridge, allowing Namjoon inside with Jin.  It’s a huge walk-in fridge.  Big enough to fit 4 cars.  Hoseok watches as Namjoon sets Jin down on a closed crate. 

“Ok” says Namjoon, dragging Hoseok outside of the fridge with him.  He turns to shut the fridge and looks down at his watch.  “We’ll leave him in there for 17 minutes or until he cries to be let out.”

Hoseok looks on, stunned.  “Y-you…propose that we leave him there?  In the freezer?”

“It’s a fridge.”

“Kim Namjoon!”

“What?!  I mean…how do you propose we get him sober enough to function in an hour.  The fridge is our best bet.  We need to decrease the traffic in his peripheral blood vessels.  Not to mention, he needs to wake up.  Now.” 

Namjoon heads over to one of the regular-sized fridges.  Opening and searching before closing.  “Hobi, see if you can find a sports drink or some Pedialyte.  We need electrolytes.  Anything that could help with hydration.”

They open a few fridges before finding a stash of cherry flavored Pedialyte.

“FOUND IT” shouts Hoseok.  Grabbing two more bottles from the fridge and carrying it over to the work space. 

Ten minutes later, pounding is heard from the fridge. 

“Namjoonah!  Let me out!  HOSHHEOKAH!  HOSHHEOKAH!  Let me out of here!”

“Oh, good…you’re awake,” Namjoon shouts back, standing close to the door. 

“Namjoonah…please…please….let me out!”

“Seokjinnie, I need you to sober up.  I can’t let you walk out there and fall on your face.  We need sober Jin, not tipsy pity-party Jin.”

“I AM SOBER!  I promise!  I’m…I’m not drunk…pleaseeeeeee!”

Hoseok comes closer to the door, making a pout at Namjoon who merely shakes his head. 

“I’m sober, watch!  Two months ago, Hoshheokie and I…we became partners of a dance studio…that hosts progwaaams for orpinages in Seoul.  Two years ago, Hoshheok hired my family’s firm to manage his wealth because he’s your ssshhugar daddy now.  Three years ago, you said I couldn’t hire a h-hitman for Shheokie’s aunt and uncle because Shheokie said ‘THE PAST IS IN THE PAST.’” 

Namjoon and Hoseok try not to laugh at Jin’s impression of Hoseok. 

“Two days ago, Hoshheok said he was gonna propose to Namjoon...soon.”  Hoseok gasps, launching himself at the door, ready to strangle Jin in a walk-in fridge.  But is held back by Namjoon. 

“Last month, Heejoon told me she’s changing her undergraduate studies and to not tell her big, meanie brother.”

Namjoon gasps, ready to open the fridge and choke all the answers out of Jin.  But, he’s stopped by a Hoseok who throws his body across the fridge handle. 

“Last night, my fiancé…he…he said he loves me.” 

There’s silence before a weepy Jin adds, “he said he loves me even if I don’t love him yet.  And that he can wait for me to love him because…because he’s already over the moon for me.  He said that…he did.  Last night.”

Namjoon and Hoseok smile at one another.  They brush their lips together for a quick kiss before opening the fridge door to a Jin wrapped in a black curtain with tears crystalizing against his cheeks. 

“Ok, Princess Fiona.  We believe you.  C’mon,” says Namjoon, carefully maneuvering his friend towards the kitchen workspace.  “We need to get you somewhat hydrated and in that suit.  And combed…all within 40 minutes.  Do you think you can manage that?”

Jin pouts, walking over to one of the large black stoves.  He turns it on and opens the oven.  “I need to defrosht…an asshole put me in a fridge jush now.  I don’t think my nuts are even attached.” 

“Should I go look for them in the fridge?  Or, are they in one of those empty soju bottles upstairs?”  Namjoon asks. 

“MEAN!  MEAN!  MEAN!  You’re mean!”  Jin shouts, letting the heat from the oven seep into him.  Meanwhile, Hoseok has laid out the suit as well as the essentials.

“The minute you feel warmth in your ass, get over here so we can dress you.  And make some attempt at getting your hair…presentable,” says Namjoon, uncapping one of the Pedialyte bottles. 

“You’re the worst best friend in the world.  Do you know that Kim Namjoon?  I told you years and years ago to get me out of this arranged marriage.  And here you are…getting me ready for this wedding!”  Jin huffs, turning off the oven before walking over to Hoseok. 

“I’m your best friend.  And my job, as such, is to make sure you’re happy.”  Jin tries to interrupt Namjoon but is unsuccessful.  “AND regardless of what you may believe, a blond model-actor who can’t figure out if he’s in love with you or your brother is NOT the happiness you seek.  You need someone to ground you, to rein in your…exuberance that has led you down some rather dangerous fast-lanes.  You need someone who will watch your back, who will always try to understand you.  Who will love you.” 

Namjoon sighs, watching as Jin obeys Hoseok’s command to stand still. 

“You’re already in love with the kid.  You know it, I know it.  But for some reason, there’s a part of you that wants freedom.  Not recognizing that you could have that with JK.”  Namjoon pauses for a second before saying, “Jimin is the university fling that felt good.  A wild, crazy ride.   JK is the high school crush that has been waiting for you this whole time.  Patient, loyal, understanding.  For all the talk you like to spread about spontaneity and a rollercoaster-love, you want the stability.  You want popcorn movie nights and chamomile sunrises.  But…if you insist on ignoring what’s already in front of you, you’ll get exactly THAT.  A rollercoaster love life.” 

Jin is quiet the entire time Hoseok gets him ready.  Taking in Namjoon’s words as his tux molds to his body.  Giving Hoseok time to comb back his hair into a debonair coif.  Jin accepts the breath mints and guzzles half a bottle of Pedialyte.   Finally, Hoseok stands back- admiring his handiwork. 

“Nice work, Hobi,” Namjoon says, aware that his best friend hasn’t responded to his long lecture. 

“Thanks” says Hobi, gathering everything back into the back pack.  “We are all set.  Ready for a wedding.  No alcohol trace in sight…unless the groom starts slurring.” 

Jin smiles, slightly.  He turns to Namjoon holding out his arms.  Namjoon goes in for a hug but is quickly turned around.  Jin hops on his back, getting a piggy back ride. 

“You dolts forgot my shoes,” says Jin, with his socked feet sticking out as Namjoon tries to support his weight. 

Hoseok sighs, rolling his eyes.  They make their way back up using the elevator.  They pass a few guests. 

“What happened to your shoes, Kim Seokjin?  Getting cold feet,” laughs a guest.

“Oh…you have no idea,” smiles Jin. 

Namjoon doesn’t respond as Hoseok chuckles next to him.  They finally get back to the dressing room.  Hoseok helps Jin to slip into his shoes.  Jin guzzles the rest of the open Pedialyte bottle before popping a few more breath mints into his mouth. 

Namjoon is trying to tidy up the room, gathering up soju bottles, when Jin gently punches him. 

“Thank you, Namu,” Jin whispers.  Namjoon smiles, turning to give his best friend a big hug.  Just then, Jin’s mother peeks into the dressing room. 

“Oh my god!  You’re ready.  Finally…come down, immediately Jinnie.  So many guests have arrived!  Over half of the guest list, at least.” 

Jin nods at Hoseok and Namjoon before exiting with his mother. 

Namjoon is about to resume gathering bottles when arms embrace him from behind. 

“You’re the sweetest, Joonie.  Just the sweetest.” 

Namjoon smiles, turning around to gather Hoseok closer. 

“You think so?” 

“Definitely!  I think it’s what he needed…wanted to hear.” 

“I think so, too,” Namjoon says with a smile.  “Hobi…”

“Hmmm…” responds Hobi, reveling in the feeling of security, of being in Namjoon’s arms. 

“You’re not allowed to propose to me.”

Hoseok gasps, trying to free himself from the hug.  Namjoon keeps his arms tightened around his waist, not letting him go.

“You’re not allowed to propose to me, Jung Hoseok.  Do you understand?”

Hoseok looks up to Namjoon’s eyes, momentarily reveling in the look of tenderness and love. 

“No, I don’t understand, Joonie.  If I don’t propose to you, we’ll have to wait 10 years for YOUR proposal.  You’ll probably wait until you feel like you’ve accomplished something or until you’ve been named Library Director.  You don’t value yourself the way I do.”  Hoseok huffs.  “I will propose to you someday, Kim Namjoon.  And it will be someday soon, before the end of this year- even!  Probably in a bookstore or library or someplace that is overcrowded by books.  And you won’t be able to stop me!”

Namjoon doesn’t hold back anymore.  He swoops down for a kiss.  Taking in the feel of Hobi’s lips.  Hobi tears his lips away for just a second. 

“And it will be so romantic, you won’t be able to say no!”

Namjoon laughs before seizing Hoseok’s lips again, gently tugging on his lower lip with his teeth.