Chapter Text
Yoongi could sense that something wasn't right when the clock on the wall read 10:00 p.m. and his hyung still wasn't home, yes, he sometimes took extra shifts at work, but he made sure to call or text him every time.
His older brother had been taking care of them for about 8 years, he was 25 years old now, working and had started studying law about 2 years ago, pressured by him, as there was no way he would accept his hyung paying for his college expenses and not doing something for himself and his goals.
Yoongi, at 23 years old, really appreciated how hard his hyung worked and did for them, after the death of his parents, at only 17 years old, he took care of all 6 of them. Hoseok, who was currently in his last year studying a bachelor's degree in dance at the same university, at the age of 22 was a top dancer and an absolute ray of sunshine in their lives, always with a smile on his face and brightening their lives. Namjoon, 21 years old, and who could be smarter than Einstein himself, studying biotechnology on a full scholarship at the university, always reading, but with a huge heart. Jimin and Taehyung, the twins, Jimin being older by about 40 minutes, both 19 years old, Jimin being a prodigy in contemporary dance, in his first year of college as a professional contemporary dance technician. Taehyung, also in his first year of college majoring in visual communication and design, both troublemakers, but who could make anyone's day. And lastly Jungkook, barely 16 years old, in his junior year of high school, was Jin's spoiled brat, everyone's to tell the truth. The boy was barely 8 years old when tragedy struck their lives and Jin has been his father figure ever since. They have all taken care of each other ever since, but Jin practically raised them all.
So yes, he was deeply worried because it was past 10 p.m. and his hyung still hadn't arrived, the others were in their rooms upstairs, so he guessed that they hadn't noticed Jin's tardiness or assumed that he had already arrived.
He had called him about 30 times already and he did not answer a single one of his calls, Yoongi could feel the anxiety running through his whole body, he was starting to seriously consider going out to the street to look for him when his phone rang suddenly, which made him jump like a cat due to the nerves he had.
He felt relief run through his body when he saw the contact's name
Jin hyung
Yoongi answered as quickly as he could.
-Hyung? Where are you? Why didn't you answer any of my calls? Do you have any idea how worried I am about you? Hyung?" he spoke so quickly that he didn't think himself understood what he had said.
-Excuse me," a woman's voice came out of the phone, Yoongi froze... What? That didn't make any sense, he didn't know how else to react but defensively.
-Who are you? Why do you have my brother's phone?
I'm calling from the hospital. Are you Kim Yoongi? - Yoongi's blood froze completely, his heart began to pound, the hospital? But how...? he couldn't even think of a possibility, as best he could he pulled himself together and answered the woman on the phone in a shaky voice.
-Yes, he speaks. Why are they calling?" was the closest his brain could find to say, his mind was filling with strange possibilities. Jin had been in a car accident? He knew he was in the car, but he always drove so carefully, there was no way.
-Young Kim, I'm so sorry to have to tell you this," Yoongi's heart began to pound harder and harder, she told him she was sorry, that was a bad sign, he felt his throat knotting up, the lady continued to speak.
- But there has been an accident - he felt his heart stopped completely and the color left his face, Yoongi was too scared to think, his words came out of his mouth automatically.
-What kind of accident?" he asked with a trembling voice.
-A car accident, young man," Yoongi felt his heart drop in his stomach, it couldn't be true, it wasn't true, Jin was careful, he was always careful, he took care of his life, because he knew they couldn't live without him.
-Young Kim, I need to ask you a few questions and have you answer me with yes or no. Can you?- the woman asked carefully, probably listening to Yoongi's heavy breathing through the phone.
-Yes-
He replied as he nodded frantically even though he knew the lady couldn't see him.
- Is your brother fair-skinned, tall and somewhat broad-shouldered? - Yoongi's heart ached, Jin was like that.
-Yes-
He answered almost breathless, tears began to form in his eyes, he did not know if they were of concern, or because of the reality that he could sense that the woman was going to tell him, he knew this kind of questions.
-Black hair? -his heart ached even more.
-YES-
-Is his full name Kim Seokjin, born on December 4th?" Yoongi could feel two thick hot tears running down his cheeks as he closed his eyes, nodded violently and said yes in a completely miserable way.
-How do you know all that?- He found himself asking.
-They found a wallet with personal documents and this phone in his pockets, your number was first on the emergency contact list- Yoongi was silent trying to process, they found? So where was Jin?
Something inside him knew, but he refused to accept it.
He heard a deep sigh from the other end of the phone line, the woman spoke again, this time in a softer tone, very careful.
-Young Kim?
-Uhuh? - He couldn't find it in himself to form words.
- We need you to come to recognize a corpse-
Yoongi felt his heart break, he did not want to believe it, he could not.
He was afraid, he was so afraid, afraid that now they would have to go on alone, that their hyung was dead and now they would have to go on alone.
-But- he was stuttering -Are you sure it's him? - he asked sobbing, like a child asking his mother if the cookies are finished.
-No, that's why we need you to come and do the reconnaissance-
-Can I go now?
-Preferably.
-I'll be there.
-Very well.
The lady on the phone hung up the call, Yoongi stood still in the middle of the room with his cell phone to his ear, he didn't know at what point he had stood up.
His head filled with thoughts that he was seriously trying to avoid.
He had to go recognize a corpse. Probably the corpse of his hyung. That was not possible, Jin was not dead, he could not be dead.
What would happen to them? Sure, 3 of them were already adults who could be independent judging by their age, but it was no secret to anyone that they could not imagine a life without their older brother who had cared for them and loved them as only their parents had done, before they died.
Unable to control himself, a sob came out of his mouth and he fell to his knees in the living room of their home, that same living room where only the night before they had all huddled together to watch a movie, safe and sound.
He allowed himself to cry for only about 40 seconds as he stood up and set out for the hospital, unlocked his phone trying to ignore the call log that appeared on his screen so he wouldn't see the name of the most recent call.
He took the keys of the old car they only used when someone else was using the other one. Things that just now Yoongi didn't want to think about, neither the supposed car accident that the lady at the hospital had mentioned to him.
-I can't leave like this- logic suddenly hit him, he probably wasn't in the best emotional and mental state to drive in the best way just now, it would be better if he took someone with him. But he didn't want to have to explain the reason why he had to go to the hospital. A little glimmer of hope in his heart told him that maybe it wasn't him, that they had the wrong person, that his brother was fine. But another part of himself told him that it was over, that his hyung was dead and that now he would have to take care of his 5 siblings and go on with the rest of his life without him. He tried to keep that last line of thought out of his head.
He thought some more, wiped the tears from his eyes and then called his brothers to come downstairs.
-Hobi! Namjoon! Jimin!" he shouted specifically knowing very well that his brothers were awake, they loved to stay up late, even though their hyung always scolded them. He wished with all his heart that he could hear one of his scoldings again.
He waited a few seconds until she heard the sound of their bare feet on the way down the stairs.
Hobi appeared first, wearing jeans and a white hoodie, his black hair disheveled in all directions, followed by Namjoon with his glasses on (he was probably reading) wearing a t-shirt and jeans and lastly Jimin who had his blond hair disastrously disheveled and was already wearing his pajamas, probably getting ready for bed.
The three boys were surprised to look at their older brother, he was a mess, his eyes were red as if he had been crying and he looked like he had run his hands through his hair countless times. The three of them were immediately filled with concern.
-Hyung- Jimin was the first to speak, he approached his brother carefully, -Are you okay? What happened? - Hobi and Namjoon looked at him expectantly, they were worried, Yoongi was not one to show such a breakdown very often, something had to have happened.
Yoongi's expression remained neutral.
-You two- he said pointing to Hoseok and Namjoon, -Get your coats, put on your shoes and wait for me in the car-
-But, hyung- Namjoon started, looking at the clock on the wall, -It's almost 11 o'clock, why…-
-Just do what I tell you, will you? - He interrupted, his voice didn't sound angry but his tone was enough for the boys to obey without saying much more.
Jimin watched them leave the room to get their coats and shoes, extremely confused, but he didn't say anything in view of how his brother had interrupted Namjoon, he could deduce that he wouldn't appreciate his questions.
-Chimmy- he said, a little softened, Jimin looked at him -I need you to keep an eye on Tae and Jungkook, okay- Jimin nodded without saying anything, but then something clicked in his head.
-Wait, what about Jin hyung? Isn't he at home? - Jimin asked looking confused.
Yoongi felt his heart squeezing when he lied to his younger brother.
-No, we are going to look for him, that's why I need you to take care of the other two while we go back, okay?
Jimin was shocked to hear that his older brother was still not at home, that was not like him. But he still nodded, he didn't want to pressure Yoongi with more questions, he looked extremely stressed.
-Are they both asleep?
-Yes, they are.
-Okay- he paused, Nam and Hobi came back with their shoes and coats on, -If either of them wakes up, don't tell them we're not here, okay? - Yoongi opened the door and waved the two elders out, gave a last glance to Jimin, who was hugging his arms from the sudden cold air that had entered, -Don't open the door to anyone, we'll be back soon- and that said, he left, locking the door from the outside.
Namjoon and Hobi went straight to the car as they were told, Hoseok took the passenger seat and Nam sat in the back.
-What do you think happened?- Nam asked Hobi.
-I really don't know, but it must be bad enough for hyung to be like this- he said.
-Have you done anything wrong lately?
-Not that I remember, and hyung wouldn't be like this for something like that, if it was about that, we would be in trouble with Jin hyung, not with him. Speaking of him, why would he let Yoongi take us out of the house like this at this hour? -
-I don’t know, but you're right, although I'm worried, I've never seen him this bad before.
Their conversation stopped when Yoongi got into the car, in the driver's seat, a sepulchral silence settled in the car, Yoongi gave a long sigh while resting his hands on the steering wheel, Hobi could see that his eyes filled with unshed tears, but decided not to say anything.
Yoongi put the car in gear and after about 3 minutes of driving, he finally spoke.
-We are going to the hospital.
The alarms in the heads of the other two in the car started ringing, there was definitely something wrong going on here.
-What? Why?- Namjoon asked looking scared, he had a very bad feeling about it.
-Jin hyung-
Hoseok and Namjoon gasped, gasping for breath, Jin hyung in the hospital? But why? wasn't he at home? now that they thought about it, it had been extremely strange that their older brother hadn't come to their rooms to scold them to go to sleep, or to tell them that they weren't allowed to leave the house at this hour.
The image of Yoongi came to their minds as he greeted them at the bottom of the stairs, he looked shattered, as if he had cried and had his cell phone in his hand.
Pure fear began to run through their veins, they didn't even want to think about the possibilities, and what could have left their second oldest brother in such a worrying state.
-What happened?" Hobi asked in a brittle voice, he was terrified.
Yoongi kept looking at the road, trying to find the right words to say to his brothers.
-Hyung- Nam shook his shoulder a little, desperate and scared -Please tell us what happened to Jin hyung.
Two silent tears rolled down Yoongi's cheeks and after taking a long sigh, he could find words.
-I received a call from hyung's number- his brothers listened attentively
- A woman from the hospital told me that they had found the phone in his pockets along with a wallet with personal documents- he took a moment to look in the rearview mirror, he met Namjoon's tearful gaze, how he hated having to do this.
-She gave me a list of physical descriptions over the phone, they all fit and then- -he interrupted himself, he let out a rather small sob, blew his nose a little, trying to prepare himself for the possible reactions of his brothers when he told them what was missing.
-And then, hyung?- Hobi prompted him to continue, looking desperate to know what had happened, he'd bet the same expression was on Namjoon's face in the back seat.
-She told me- he sighed, not wanting to say it out loud but knowing he had to, "She told me she needed me to go and recognize a corpse-
-NO- said Hobi, shaking his head, obviously his brain had connected the dots, his eyes had filled with tears, he refused to accept it, his hyung didn't....
-No- he denied again -NO, it's not true, why are you lying to me? - he looked at him with hurt and tearful eyes, Yoongi stopped the car and sighed.
-I'm not lying to you Hobi, I couldn't play with something like that- he said while looking him in the eyes, Hobi knew he wasn't lying, which only made him sob even more.
Namjoon, who had been frozen in the back seat of the car, with teary eyes and a trembling voice finally spoke.
-But- his voice sounded shaky, but it caught the attention of his older brothers - Are they sure it's him?- he asked fearful of the answer.
-No, they don't know, that's why they need me to come and do the reconnaissance- Yoongi ran his hands over his face, wiping his tears and looking stressed as hell.
-I, I really didn't want to come alone, sorry for dragging you guys here- he said with his face in his hands.
-No, hyung, it's okay- Hobi put a hand on his shoulder -It wouldn't have been good for you to come alone either-
Silence returned to the car, the 3 people inside deep in their own thoughts and with silent tears already rolling down their cheeks. Until Hobi finally broke the silence
-We should probably move on, the faster we get out of this, the faster we can go on- he said looking at Yoongi.
-Go on with what?" asked Namjoon.
Hobi really didn't want to think about what they might have to go on with, it scared him too much.
-Whatever we have to go on with.
Namjoon was also thinking about one of the possibilities.
-What are we going to do?" he asked.
-What do you mean?" Yoongi answered him as he continued driving, the street was particularly empty, which was strange since this street was full of cars 24/7, because it was one of the streets that connected the commercial area of the city with the rest, he knew it because that street was the one that Jin took to work.
Probably the accident had happened there.
-Hyung-
Hobi's voice brought him out of his thoughts.
-I'm sorry," he shook off his thoughts, "What were you saying Namjoon-ah?
-What are we going to do if..." Namjoon hesitated a bit but continued anyway "If it's him? If it's Jin hyung's body?
The 3 brothers had been thinking about it, without wanting to think about it at the same time, but Namjoon was the only one who had the courage to ask it out loud.
Yoongi kept quiet, really just imagining it was too painful for him, for all of them. So he answered his brother what he had also answered himself.
-We will cross that bridge if we get to it.
After driving a few more minutes, they arrived at the hospital parking lot.
-What time is it?- Yoongi asked.
-It's 11:45 hyung - Namjoon answered, looking at his phone.
Yoongi felt the need to call Jimin, but knew that calling him would mean questions to which he had no concrete answer.
Hobi seemed to notice.
-Jimin sent me a text message, I didn't tell him anything, just that it would take a little longer. Did you tell him we were going out to look for Jin hyung? He wondered if we had found him.
Yoongi put his hands in his sweater pockets.
-Technically, that's what we are doing- he said as he advanced towards the hospital a couple of steps ahead of his brothers that he could hear behind him.
But I really hope I don't find him.
They entered the hospital, went into the area where the examination was supposed to be done and after telling the lady at the counter (who was the same one who had called him) the data she asked for, they brought him a black plastic bag.
-See if you can recognize these objects- she said.
The bag had a small piece of paper stapled to it, with her older brother's name written on it in black marker.
The sight hurt.
Namjoon and Hoseok followed him to a small table in the corner of the hallway, so they could open the bag.
He put it on the table, and they stared at it for about 40 seconds until Hoseok took it and opened it without warning.
In the bag was Seokjin's phone, Namjoon took it and turned it on, the screen was a little broken, but he could clearly see the wallpaper of them 7, one of the many they had taken in a family photoshoot they did at the beginning of that same year.
Hobi took the wallet that was in the bag, opened it to see its contents, it had his brother's ID card, 2 credit cards, he remembered how hard his brother had worked to be able to open the bank accounts, and take out the credit cards. The wallet had no cash in it, for some reason, which seemed strange to him, but he didn't think much of it. When he opened the wallet he could clearly see a picture of them, of the 7 of them, the time Jin took them to the amusement park, last year. They had strange hats, it was at night and the Ferris wheel was at the bottom of the picture, they all looked happy. The memory made his eyes burn with unshed tears.
Yoongi took the last thing out of the bag, a hoodie, his brow furrowed in confusion, he didn't remember seeing Jin out with a hoodie today in the morning, maybe he had it in the car.
He checked its pockets, it had a few crumpled bills, but nothing else, when he brought it close to his face he noticed something strange, the smell. He knew the smell of the perfume his hyung used, and it certainly wasn't that one.
It seemed very strange to him.
-Kim Yoongi- an unfamiliar voice from the door called their attention, it was one of the forensic doctors, he was at the door ready to let Yoongi pass.
Hobi and Nam advanced with him but the doctor stopped them.
-I think it is better that only one of you enter, to make the examination, in case it is necessary you can also enter later- he said cautiously, not wanting to be too explicit about what the last sentence implied.
Yoongi nodded with a small smile, the doctor motioned for him to come in and then closed the door behind him.
He had seen this, only in movies obviously, but he had an idea of how it worked.
When the doctor closed the door, he found a white room, with some shades of blue, there was a metal door on the other side, probably there they had all the other bodies.
But he could really only focus on one thing, the metal bed in the center of the room, it had a slate with his brother's name written in acrylic marker stuck on the side. The body had the obvious shape of a man, broad shoulders and an average height. Definitely taller than him. Just as Jin was taller than him.
The body was covered with a sheet, but his breath caught in his throat when he saw it.
-Are you ready?- the doctor asked in a kind voice.
Yoongi was not ready.
He wasn't ready to see his hyung's body if it was there, he wasn't ready to tell his brothers that hyung wasn't coming home, to Jimin, to Tae, damn it... to Jungkook.
He wasn't ready for any of that.
-Yes, I am.
He futilely braced himself for what he might face as the doctor began to lift the sheet from the lifeless body.
Yoongi opened his eyes wide.
His breathing got stuck.
He felt his heart stop.
That man was not his brother.