Chapter Text
Archons.LTD office chat
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I saw this flower on my afternoon walk yesterday. It was an exquisite bloom and I have the utmost admiration to whoever cultivated such beauty. In case anyone is wondering, this flower is commonly referred to as Camellia. (Camellia japonica) is the Theaceae arbor, which blooms in the Winter-Spring. It spends large-scalely, and a common variation of it is in large red. This kind is commonly cultivated among gardeners, and has a single-lobe polyphyll. The not only tree-like grace of giant tea tree, evergreen, the full branch of full-blown flowers of the four seasons, and can absorb airborne sulphide, thus functions as an air purifier.Tea tree is experienced all sorts of cultivation, has become one of famous ornamental plants of China.By the kind heap sort of camellia plant, can be divided into camellia group, ancient tea group-
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He’s retired, why can’t we kick him out from company group chat?
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The wall of text is longer than usual σ(´し_｀〃)ゞ
Did something happen?
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A little birdie told me he almost got scammed by power massager salesman yesterday~
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Again?
Wasn’t he almost dragged by a Jehovah Witness preacher to their HQ last Monday?
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Yes I did.
@🍃 Xiao wouldn’t appreciate you calling him a little birdie
You’re also no longer in the company.
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∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
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Ex-section manager, you sure you’re alright?
Isn’t this the 8th time you got harassed by salesmen, scammers or door to door preachers?
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It’s actually the 12th time.
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Rip
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Rip
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@🔸 do you want to borrow my chusky
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The what
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(ﾟ▽ﾟ｀*)?
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He’s good at chasing strangers away.
No salesman dared to go around my place because of him.
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Hold on, what the fuck is a chusky.
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Chusky?
I’m not familiar with the term.
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It’s a dog breed.
Chow-chow / husky mix
He’s my newest.
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Wait.
Is he the one who almost disembowels the DHL mailman
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I thought it was an Ubereats guy whose butt ended up in stitches
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Wasn’t that a plumber
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Yes
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Sound promising.
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HOLD ON
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OLD MANNN?!
NO???
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You can have him for a year I guess
It would be enough to strike the fear of god into every salesmen in your area
My other dogs can’t get along with him anyway.
In exchange give me the land deed for the property near market district
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@❄️ sis what?
HOW IS IT AN EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE
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Okay.
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ZHONGLIIIIIIIII
……
When the boss lady ushered him into a carrier, Childe didn’t think much about it and thought it was for the usual vet visit. In hindsight, he should’ve realized what was happening when the other dogs howled in celebration as his carrier was taken to the car. The bitches.
What followed was the longest car ride he had ever been before he was dropped in front of a foreign house.
“Here’s the instructions on how to take care of him.” Boss lady said to another human he could only see the legs of. Was he the new vet? Childe bit the last one more than one time, maybe the boss lady found him a new vet to bite. “He sheds a lot. You sure you have no allergy?”
“I don’t.” The other human walked towards his carrier and crouched down to look into his carrier. Childe bared his teeth, readied himself to attack the stranger only to be stopped in his track by some unknown will.
“Don’t put your hand in the carrier.” Boss lady’s worried voice snapped him out of his daze, only to realize he had been letting the stranger stroke his snout gently.
“It’s alright.” The stranger’s voice was calm and soothing; he couldn’t help but nuzzle into the hand that kept petting him. “He’s very cute.”
“O...kay. That’s great.” Boss lady sounded unsure before she steeled herself and climbed back into her car and drove away, leaving Childe with the stranger, alone.
The stranger opened the carrier and let Childe step into the thickly carpeted living room with a smile. “I’ll be in your care.” He said, stroking Childe’s head and buried his face in Childe’s fur. He smelled very nice.
…..
The second week after Childe arrived, he already sent away 2 skeevy salesmen before they could say, ‘Good afternoon’, peed on a cult recruiter’s shoes, and almost bit a scammer’s jugular off. (He also almost mauled Zhongli’s adopted children when they came to visit, to their displeasure, and gave a lot of mailmen newfound phobia of the color orange.)
Even so, Zhongli never chastised him outright. At most he would sigh and say, “What should I do with you, hm?” with an exasperated tone to Childe when they were curled up in front of the TV.
Unlike back home, Childe never had to share the space with 10 other annoying mutts who kept kicking him off the couch and bed and ratted him out to the boss lady every time he dug up the plants in her garden. Zhongli lived alone sans his kids who sometimes came to visit him; he vaguely remembered the neighbor referred to Zhongli as a young widower. So that left only Childe to rule the place as his domain, leaving auburn fur all over the place.
All in all, life was really cushy.
Childe liked it when Zhongli took him on a walk and praised him whenever he brought back stuff he found along the road. He also liked to hear Zhongli talk about stuff he doesn’t get when he was dozing off on the bed, a privilege he didn’t even get back home with the older dogs hogging the boss lady’s bedroom. Zhongli always spoiled him; he took Childe along everywhere with him, and soon Childe learned to do tricks to make Zhongli praise him even more. Fetching newspaper, finding lost keys and dragging Zhongli away when the man was lured either by window displays or sales pitch during their walk.
He also learned to pose for the camera after Zhongli offhandedly said his posts of Childe’s photos were taken rather well by people in his group chat compared to his usual educational articles.
And so seasons passed.
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Are you sure?
I thought you’re going to ask me to extend the adoption period
You two got along so well after all
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The contract is for a year, correct?
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Yes...
Alright, I’ll take him back on the weekend.
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Thank you very much.
I really appreciate everything.
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Hhhhhh….
……..
It came without warning whatsoever. One moment Childe thought they were going for a walk like usual and suddenly he was in a carrier back to boss lady’s home. Why? Zhongli was his usual self just now? Petting and hugging him like usual? Why did he send Childe back just like that? Why suddenly decided he no longer wanted Childe and sent him away?
The other dogs welcomed him back with condescending ‘I knew it’ scoffs as if they expected his return all along. Childe retaliated by peeing in their bowl.
His remaining sliver of hope was dashed off the next morning when a moving truck full of his stuff from Zhongli’s place came and left the boss lady stunned for a full minute after she signed the delivery fee, squinting at the pile of toys. So that’s it, he was not going to come back to Zhongli’s place.
Childe was abandoned.
Like hell he's gonna accept this.
