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It’s 2nd February, Daisuke’s birthday, but because it’s Tuesday, he just wants to spend the night at Haru’s instead of holding a big party.
The years before, Daisuke didn’t care about any holidays nor his birthday at all. And just because he’s the scion of the Kambe, he was given many gifts, to be more precise, luxurious gifts, from some rich peoples want to get his attention. Though he doesn’t even remember where did he throw them away.
But this year is different. Daisuke now has Haru by his side, as a lover, he noted. In Daisuke’s entire life, he has never thought of loving and being loved by someone. He had no life purpose until Suzue gave him a ray of hope. However, he used to think after finding out the truth, he wouldn’t have anything to do anymore. That day, when Haru gave the police bag back to him, Daisuke thought he had something to do before he was old enough to retire. Then another day, when Haru gave him a ring, Daisuke thought he had something to do until the end of his life.
Daisuke thinks simply sometimes. Because he feels so secure whenever Haru hugs him, Daisuke thinks he’s in love. It’s not that Daisuke doesn’t know anything about love, but... he has to admit that he’s so inexperienced in love. Well, Daisuke didn’t have a mind for this kind of stuff. Sometimes he hates his grandmother for what she did to him. Daisuke needed treatment, he thinks, but since the day he lost his parents, Kikuko hadn’t called any doctor for him. She said that Daisuke was just too shocked from losing both father and mother in a very short time, but he would be fine. Daisuke, however, knew that he would never be okay. He would never get over what he saw that night. And yet, he couldn’t say that out loud. He kept it inside and being destroyed by it.
Haru’s patient with Daisuke, too. They’re dating like they’re still friend, Haru doesn't like that, though, just because Daisuke sometimes will hold his hand or kiss his cheeks, Haru supposes it’s not that bad. But Haru thinks complicatedly sometimes. He’s the type of person who is intelligent in anything but love.
At Haru’s apartment, Daisuke and Haru curl up together in a blanket, watching a romantic movie that Kamei suggested to Haru, although they seem to not enjoy it much. After finishing watching the movie, it’s only 9 p.m. Haru then stands up and walks to the refrigerator to take out the cake which they bought early. Actually, Haru wanted to bake a cake on his own, but because many cases came up early, Daisuke said they should buy a cake instead, and anyway, Haru can bake a cake for him on his next birthday.
Haru blushed when he thought of being with Daisuke on his next birthday, which means they can be together for many years more. Haru didn’t believe their relationship can be last. Although Haru isn’t a negative person, he still thought Kambe Daisuke is too different from him to be by his side forever. When he saw the vulnerable look on Daisuke’s face, Haru couldn’t think of anything, he only knew he had to protect him and bring happiness to him, at least for then. Sometimes, Haru thinks Daisuke doesn’t love him. Daisuke only accepted to be his lover just because he feels happy around him now… but in the future, Haru doesn’t know.
Haru puts two candles in the cake then let Daisuke blows them. Daisuke doesn’t make any wishes, and so Haru asks him why.
“I don’t know what to wish. I have anything I want to right now.”
“Come on, you can just wish for some good things.” Haru says, “Or you can wish we’ll be together on your next birthday.”
Daisuke hmm, and Haru awkwardly puts up the knife to starting cut the cake. “What did I just say?”, he thinks to himself while feeling regret.
Daisuke leans to Haru and says, “Do you want to hear a story?”
Haru wants to ask why so suddenly, but the curiosity holds him back, and he says, “Yes.”
Daisuke says, “When I was in England, there were two times I celebrated my birthday.”
Haru inhales. This is almost the first time Daisuke talks about his past. He listens carefully, slightly holds Daisuke's hand to signify him to continue.
“The first time when I was 19. You can’t imagine how terrible I was at that time.” Daisuke laughs, “I tried alcohol, cigarette, and even marijuana. But the story I want to tell you is the funny part. As I said, I used marijuana so… I was high. On my birthday, I didn’t care much about it but because some college friends gave me some cakes, I decided to try them, hoping to feel happy. Yet, I didn’t have an appetite and started to upset. I used marijuana more than usual then… I was too high and started to sing and dance and eat another cake when hiding under the table. I even cried a lot while eating the cake. Because I remember all of them later, so I never use marijuana again.”
Daisuke blushes as Haru laughs. He pouts, “Stop laughing or I won’t talk with you anymore.” Haru purses his lips and nods.
Daisuke continues, “The second time is when I was 22. Suzue gave me a bottle of wine as a birthday gift. She knows I like wine, but she didn’t think I would drink a whole bottle in a day. I threw up thrice until I felt too dizzy to walk, and I hid in a closet to sleep. I woke up from a twenty-hour sleep and found myself curled up like a cat. I couldn’t walk properly and fell on the floor because I was too hungry. Then I had to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital.”
Haru smiles, “It’s really a rare side to see of you.”
“Yes. I’m embarrassed, but I suppose it’s funny. Even so…” Daisuke sighs, “Even it sounds funny, I don’t happy at all.”
Haru looks at Daisuke’s emotionless face that somehow he can find a little sad in it. Daisuke looks at him too, and he smiles, “But it’s different now. I’m happy when I’m with you. I don’t need any cake or expensive wine. As long as you’re by my side, my birthdays are always beautiful and memorable.”
Haru looks into his beautiful eyes that he has fallen into so many times. As Haru is about to say something, Daisuke suddenly asks, “Did I do something that makes you uncomfortable?”
They’re still holding hands and Haru grips more tightly. He’s confused, “Why’re you think so?”
“Because sometimes you look like you’re hesitant to hold my hand, hug me, or kiss me, then you didn’t do any of them. Why? Are you… not willing to love me yet?”
“Of course not!” Haru almost yells. He holds himself back and keeps his voice down, “I just don’t know if you want to do these things with me.” He takes a deep breath, “You keep acting like we’re only friends. Yes, I know you do kiss me sometimes but, you don’t seem to enjoy it much. We’ve been dating for half a year, Daisuke, but I still don’t know if you really love me or just want me to keep you company. I don’t know. I can’t ask you anything because I do know how much different we are.”
Daisuke falls into silent a moment then says, “I see. So it’s my fault.”
Haru shakes his head, “No! I didn’t mean that. I didn’t say you’re wrong.”
“No, it’s my fault, and yours too. I should tell you how I feel, so do you. I’m not used to expressing my feelings, and the most important thing is… I’ve never been in a relationship before, so I really awkward. I’m scared of making mistakes. I’m scared of doing something you don’t like. That’s why I waited for you to move first. But I think I make you misunderstand.”
Haru blinks. He has thought Daisuke doesn’t want to have a serious relationship with him. So, he has always misunderstood?
“Then, can I kiss you on your lips?” Haru asks.
Daisuke murmurs, “Yes.”
Daisuke leans in and closes his eyes. Haru cups his cheeks with his hands and slowly places his lips on him. It’s only a quick kiss but Haru’s reaction makes Daisuke let out a soft laugh. He’s completely red.
Daisuke teases, “It’s not as good as my expectation. You haven’t kissed anyone before, have you?”
Haru looks away, which gives Daisuke an answer. He smiles widely and kisses Haru one more.
“I told you that story because I want to cheer you up and let you know how much I changed since I met you. You’re my therapy, Haru. This is my best birthday I have ever had.” Daisuke says in his ear, “Especially because today I stole your first kiss.”
Haru huffs. He slowly carries Daisuke in his arms to his bed and says, “Then, let’s make this birthday is the most memorable day by stealing some more of my first times too, Daisuke.”
Daisuke secretly smiles, completely forgets to remind Haru to put the cake back in the refrigerator.