Archive of Our Own

The door slammed, echoing around the living room, making Shino’s ears ring, and he stared at it, unseeing, contemplating the bare, painted wood and the burnished aluminum handle. In the silence after the slamming and the yelling, Akamaru’s whining was strangely loud, a background note of discomfort that he felt as if it was inside him. Finally, he realized he was just standing the middle of the room doing nothing when the dog nudged at his hand. He looked down to find Akamaru watching him anxiously, vocalizing his unhappiness and confusion in little cries. All he could do was pet over his enormous head, ruffling through his fur and rubbing over an ear, not sure what could be said to either of them.

Kiba had yelled at him. In the many years of their nearly life-long friendship and the more than a year that they’d been together, he didn’t think Kiba had ever actually been angry with him. His boyfriend could be hot headed and impulsive, and he wasn’t exactly a stranger to anger, but he never directed it toward the people he loved.

Much more distressingly, Kiba had yelled at Akamaru.

The Inuzuka and his dog had been in something like a prolonged argument for more than a week. Shino knew them both too well not to understand the meaning of the stiff body language and snappy tone they’d each had with the other. It had only added to whatever was bothering his boyfriend, because Kiba had been upset about something for even longer than that. He wasn’t sure precisely when it had started, but it was now impossible to miss. The Inuzuka wasn’t very good at hiding his emotions, rendering his insistence that nothing was wrong an obvious lie, but Shino didn’t want to push, and he’d trusted Kiba would tell him what was going on when he was ready to talk.

That certainty had been growing shaky over the last few days, and it was crumbling at the moment. Shino wasn’t even sure what they’d been arguing about. He’d brought up dinner, had been thinking aloud about groceries for the week and suggested they might go out to eat that evening and Kiba had suddenly seemed determined to pick a fight. Before he knew what was even happening, the Inuzuka was yelling and snatching up his jacket and snapping at Akamaru as he’d stormed toward the door. Shino had been baffled to see the dog pointedly sit down in the middle of the living room, glaring at his master and refusing the summons, and astonished when Kiba had shouted at him, “Fine! Stay here then, I don’t care!” and crashed outside, slamming the door behind him.

Now the two of them were alone, and he suspected Akamaru knew more about what was going on than he did, but the dog couldn’t tell him anything. He made his way to the kitchen table, sinking down into a chair and resuming his petting as Akamaru sat beside him and put his huge head down on Shino’s lap.

“You know what’s bothering him, don’t you?” Soulful eyes silently confirmed that he did, along with what Shino could swear was frustration that he couldn’t share the information in plain English. “He won’t tell me. Is he…?”

Shino buried his fingers in Akamaru’s fur, trying to push back the thought as he’d been pushing it back for days. The dog was warm and solid, which was helping a bit with the unstable feeling settling in him, like his chest was caving in, kikaichu ruffling inside him uncomfortably as they tried to assess his physical state. It was clear he’d done something to upset his boyfriend, something serious, but he couldn’t work out what.

Kiba had been agitated for weeks, flinching now and then when he was startled out of his thoughts, occasionally stiffening when Shino touched him which was… painful. He’d recently refused to go to the Hyuuga compound to see the last member of their former genin team, leaving Shino to go alone, an event without precedence. Stranger still, Hinata had seemed almost relieved to see him without Kiba by his side. Something was wrong there, but he couldn’t find a way to ask that didn’t feel unacceptably rude, so he hadn’t, and she hadn’t volunteered any information.

“I’ve done something wrong.” The thought he’d been fighting refused to be pushed back, insistently demanding to be spoken aloud. “Or perhaps he’s just tired of this. The secrets. The fear.”

Akamaru seemed to take issue with the thought, shoving at his stomach with his muzzle, nose wet and cold through the mesh of his shirt. He let his hand slide around the cradle the dog’s face, stroking the extra soft, extra short furs along his cheek. His throat felt tight; he swallowed thickly. Kikaichu hummed inquisitively inside him.

He’d been trying to broach a conversation about their relationship recently, had been dwelling on that very secrecy. Every time he’d tried, Kiba had redirected them to another topic. Shino didn’t want to force the issue. The fault for the secrecy lay with him, as did the fault for the danger. It was demeaning, to hide what they had, and it had worn on him consistently, always there, a part of their relationship as much as affection and devotion were. He wanted what their friends had, to safely hold his partner in public, to be with them proudly, without fear. He wanted to pick out a place with Kiba that could be theirs, create something physical with the man he already considered to be his home.

If they lived together, if they were always by each other’s sides, he thought that they could weather his father’s reaction, that he could protect Kiba himself. His fear of the Aburame patriarch retaliating against the threat to his legacy was no less real, but they were going to have to confront that fear if they wanted to protect what they had. Shino achingly wanted to protect what they had. He wanted to keep it forever, and he couldn’t see a way to do that without dealing with the threat from his clan.

It hadn’t seemed like Kiba was unready to deal with that threat, that he wouldn’t be eager to face it head on. At least, it hadn’t seemed like that... before.

Maybe Shino had waited too long. Maybe Kiba was tired of this. Maybe he wanted out. With their relationship a secret from all but a select few friends and particular members of the Inuzuka clan, it would be easier for him to go. People wouldn’t ask him about their breakup. No one would want to know why they’d parted ways. Maybe he wanted to get some benefit out of the secrecy he’d always hated, to spare himself from having to deal with any social fallout.

“How can I ask him to take such a risk, when he can barely look at me?” The dog whined loudly, huffing a warm breath over his stomach. “When he does not trust me enough to tell me what’s wrong?” There was an odd stinging in his eyes, prickly and painful.

Akamaru let out another whine, snuggling closer, and Shino bowed his head, leaning down to press his face against the rough fur of the dog’s neck.

__________

Kiba wasn’t sure how long he walked through the village before he could see through his rage. Akamaru had refused his call. That had never happened before. Betrayal warred with anger, the contest loud in his mind. A heavy layer of shame weighed over them both, progressively quieting the fight of his emotions until it was the main voice.

He and Akamaru had been arguing, and Akamaru was obviously trying to push his side. He knew the dog wanted him to talk to Shino, was cognizant that Kiba was damaging the very thing he was so desperate to protect, and the judgement and the constant nudging to speak up had been wearing him down until he was ready to snap at the slightest little thing. So, of course, he had, raising his voice at his boyfriend for the first time ever, over a stupid argument about nothing, and Shino had stepped back from him, confusion and hurt clear on his face, confusion and hurt that Kiba had put there, and he’d just needed to leave because he’d felt himself wanting to chase those feelings, to twist the knife, to make his boyfriend feel bad because he felt bad.

It was an ugly impulse, and he was still suffused with guilt from the last time he’d let himself indulge his temper like that, and he’d known he needed to get out, or he’d give himself something else to regret.

By the time he slowed down, calming the storm inside him at least a little, he realized he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know where he was going. He’d never fought with Shino before, but if he had he was sure he would have gone to Hinata to complain about it. Now he couldn’t go to her, had fairly well wrecked the trust between them and he was still raw enough about her engagement that he couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t lash out. He felt cornered, and alone, with even Akamaru out of patience and refusing to back him up.

The worst part was, he couldn’t make himself apologize. He knew he’d lashed out, he knew it wasn’t fair, but he couldn’t even formulate an apology in his own mind. None of them understood. No one understood what he was going through.

The recurring thought brought him to a halt, halfway down an unfamiliar block, surrounded by darkened shop fronts shrouded in shadow between sparsely placed streetlamps. Someone understood what he was going through.

The realization spurred him on, and he moved with a purpose, navigating through neighborhoods until he was at the door of a cozy, single story apartment, knocking heavily and only wondering what time it actually was when he was greeted with an incredulous look and palpable confusion as it opened.

It wasn’t like he didn’t get Iruka being surprised to see him. He hadn’t spoken with his former teacher more than a handful of times since he’d left the academy. Even at the academy, it wasn’t as though they’d been close. Iruka took an interest in all of his students, but Kiba had been a loud, irritating troublemaker whose main goals in the classroom had been pulling pranks at his teacher’s expense, and he was pretty sure Naruto had taken up every last bit of the man’s tolerance for that kind of behavior. Not to mention it was quite late, as it turned out, Iruka clad in loose off-duty wear that seemed too intimate to be seeing him in, ponytail drooping from its usual gravity-defying spikes, letting Kiba in and waving over his stammered apology for the hour.

Kakashi was on a mission, so they had the place to themselves, and Iruka brought him a beer after abandoning a beginning effort at making tea, while Kiba stared at the bookshelves that stood against every wall, wondering how much the two of them could possibly read. Even Hinata didn’t have this many books. And there was no way they were all from that porn series Kakashi insisted on being seen reading everywhere. Or they were, and that was worrying. Well, Iruka was a teacher after all. He probably read for fun.

They sat at the kitchen table, his former teacher watching him with dark, compassionate eyes, and Kiba let the awful story spill out of himself in fits and starts until he’d confessed to the whole stupid thing. Iruka knew what he was going through, because Iruka had been through it. The blow up over his relationship with the Copy Nin had been so nasty and widespread that their genin team had heard all about it, though in his youth Kiba hadn’t quite grasped what exactly was going on, let alone why so many people were angry about it.

Now he understood. Iruka was nobody. Kakashi was the inheritor of a valuable clan, an irreplaceable resource for the village, an example everyone looked up to. Everyone cared what he did. No one cared what Iruka did.

In the end, Iruka was smiling at him, but the man looked strained as he did so, which wasn’t exactly reassuring. Neither were his words, as he said, “I’m sorry, Kiba. The fact is that there’s no easy way through this; it’ll be hard on both of you.”

“You guys got through it.” The backlash had been intense, and it had mostly fallen on Iruka, but he’d figured out a way to deal with it. He’d figured out a way to keep the man he loved even when everyone else hated him for it.

“We did. And it was very hard on both of us.”

He grimaced, his voice faint as he made himself speak. “I yelled at him. I yelled at Hinata, I said to her… I didn’t mean to. I’m just… What did you do?”

His former teacher seemed like he already knew Kiba wouldn’t like his answer, looking pained and sad. “You have to trust your partner. As bad as things got, I trusted Kakashi to back me up, not to leave me. Hold onto that trust, and just try to let the rest be background noise. It won’t make all your insecurities go away, but it will get you through it if you’re both willing to fight.” Kiba sank further into his seat, his gaze downcast. Trust was the very thing he was struggling with. Iruka sighed, but he was smiling again. “No matter what happens when you go public, everyone will eventually calm down. There can be a happy ending, even if it’s difficult to get there.”

He stared at his beer, having trouble believing that at the moment. What he needed was advice, not platitudes. “How do I do that?”

“Trust isn’t easy. It’s a risk, and you have to make yourself extremely vulnerable to take it. You have to be willing to set your fears aside.”

That was all well and good to say, but his trust was feeling pretty wounded after what had happened. “I trusted that Hinata wouldn’t let her clan take away her choices.”

Iruka frowned. “Do you know why she agreed to the engagement?”

A growl rumbled in his throat. “I mean. Obviously, she let them completely bowl her over.”

There was a loaded pause before his former teacher murmured, “Did you ask her why she agreed to it?” adding when Kiba said nothing, “Or did you just make assumptions?”

“She said she didn’t want it!” Damnit, he was yelling again, but it really difficult to stop. “She said she wouldn’t let them tell her what to do, that she would be her own person! Then her mother tells her she has to marry that asshole and she just… she just rolls over and takes it!”

Dark eyes watched him thoughtfully, and Kiba looked away. “If you didn’t ask her about her feelings, what did you say to her?”

“I…” He couldn’t repeat it. Nothing could justify the things he’d said to Hinata, the insults that had come so easily to him, targeting her worst insecurities, striking at where he knew she was most vulnerable because she’d trusted him with those vulnerabilities, trusted that he would honor their friendship, would look out for her because they loved each other.

He sank even further into his chair. Fucking damnit, Iruka was every bit the teacher he’d been when Kiba was a kid, homing right in on whatever bad thing Kiba had done, classic ‘I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed’ reproach radiating out of him.

“Can you say you acted toward her as a friend should?”

If he sank any further, he was going to slither off the seat onto the floor. Maybe that was where he belonged. Shit, he felt so terrible about everything right now.

“Is the Hinata you know someone who would let herself be overruled about her personal choices like that?”

The floor was looking more and more like where he was going to end up. If he was going to be tossed aside as it was, perhaps he should get a jump on it and send himself there. Get out of everyone’s way since they were all so happy to let their clans decide their fates.

Iruka was waiting for an answer, and he was avoiding the question because it was only part of the point and goddamnit, why come here if he wasn’t going to make himself say what his problem was out loud? Hinata was so happy now. Accepting the wishes of her clan seemed to have brought her so many good things, made her life better, instead of making it worse by weathering the anger and disapproval of every one of her family members.

“What if… what if he hates me?”

“Why would he hate you?”

“He wouldn’t. I mean, not right away. But what if he hates me after? What if it doesn’t work out between us, and he gave up everything he has for nothing? What if it does work out, but a year from now, two years from now, ten years, he resents me because he’s realized I wasn’t worth it?”

He stared at the floor, trying to pretend he couldn’t feel the pity in Iruka’s gaze, any more than he could hear it in his voice. “You said he’s already risked a lot to be with you. Do you think he would do that if he didn’t think you were worth it?” Kiba said nothing. “This is where trust becomes important. You need to trust that Shino can make his own decisions about what he’s willing to give up.”

Maybe if he slithered off onto the floor, Iruka would just let him stay there for a while. He could sleep there, stretched out in his own misery, and Iruka could just step over him to go to bed, and then step over him to make breakfast in the morning.

“Kiba.” He glanced up reluctantly, wishing he’d never come here. “It sounds like you owe Hinata an apology.”

The unexpected adjustment in subject garnered a snarl from him, and he whipped his body back upright, his elbows planting on the table with a bang. Iruka seemed completely unsurprised, and as the seconds ticked by, his anger began to turn to shame, again. It wasn’t fair to his friend or his boyfriend to be sitting around letting his fears warp into denigration of them, to have such little trust in them, and no, the Hinata he knew wouldn’t let herself be overruled about her personal choices, particularly by her mother of all people. If her actions contradicted everything he knew about her as a person, maybe he needed to consider that he wasn’t interpreting her actions correctly.

…and he definitely owed her an apology. Shit.

Kiba leaned over to brace his forehead against the table with an audible thump. He wished he hadn’t come here, but only because he’d forgotten how good Iruka was at finding exactly what it was you’d done wrong and pointing out how it was your job, and your job alone, to fix it. He hated that.

“…okay.”

“Perhaps once you have settled things with Hinata, speaking to Shino will seem less intimidating.”

“…okay.”

His head was still planted on the table, so Iruka didn’t see him baring his teeth and rolling his eyes. Of course, his former teacher probably knew exactly how he’d reacted without needing to see it. Goddamn, motherfucking, always-right-about-everything sensei.

__________

Despite the hideous mess he’d made of his personal life, the rest of the world had the audacity to keep on going with a complete disregard for his feelings, and the sun rose on another workday as if nothing of any import was happening. If his guilt wasn’t punishment enough, spending the night alone in his crappy, barely furnished apartment was its own tiny hell. Work wasn’t much better.

Work meant seeing Hinata, who barely spoke to him now. And Ino, who had figured out he’d done something to upset Hinata, and had started upping the strength of her typical punch to the shoulder greeting until he was starting to get worried he was going to be seriously hurt one of these mornings. He hoped to god that at least Hinata hadn’t told her what he’d said. Although, as he thought about it, the punches to the shoulder were practically a guarantee that she hadn’t been read into the specifics of their argument; he was certain if she had, Ino would be doing much worse than hitting him in the shoulder. Nevertheless, her taking out her annoyance on him was giving him a semi-permanent bruise and a consist low-grade anxiety that was the exact opposite of helpful for his mood.

More painful were the questions about Akamaru’s absence. He’d crashed at his own apartment after speaking to Iruka because he’d been too ashamed and mad to go back to Shino’s, hadn’t been ready to face either him or the dog in the morning. The hoped-for calm of some secret method for dealing with public humiliation and uneven social standing in a relationship had not materialized; instead, he felt sick thinking about his conversation with his former teacher. Every part of him wanted to turn tail and run from this, just put it off, not today, not tomorrow, not until everyone had forgotten what an asshole he’d been.

The dearth of questions about Akamaru’s absence from Hinata was the worst, a glaring disinterest that pretty much everyone noticed because they were so close. Used to be so close. Shit.

He wasn’t able to enjoy the launch of the chunin exams at all. He’d been looking forward to messing with the genin, luxuriating in the perception that he held their fates in their hands, the exquisite pleasure of being on the grading side of an exam he’d faced more than once. Instead, he struggled to keep his mind on task, watching his designated section of exam takers, marking down when genin were sloppy with their information gathering skills, kicking out four in total from the ones he was observing before the written portion was through.

Kurenai’s current genin team were among the test takers, though none were within his field of authority, so he didn’t look for them until it was pencils down. He scanned the remaining kids as Anko shouted the final problem of the written test at them. Sako was nearby, hunched over his paper, face shadowed by his long hair, looking less than confident. Kai was a few desks away from him, her slit-pupil eyes watching Anko avidly. It took him a minute more of scanning, but at last he caught the telltale white-blonde spikes of Ren’s short, messy hair. He craned his neck to find the boy looking bored and very ready to move to the next phase of the test.

Predictably, Anko made as much of a to do out of the final question as possible, pacing and yelling and threatening until she had even Ren looking nervous. Kiba had every confidence in Kurenai though, and while other genin filed out, sheepish and scared, the three of them marked their papers and waited it out. The tension was much less poignant when you knew the game, and he was deeply relieved to have it over with when Anko begrudgingly allowed that the remaining genin had passed the first test.

The chunin instructors moved out to the forest arena, where they waited in their prearranged teams, which mean more awful silences from Hinata and more irritated, confused glaring from Ino. At last, the genin were assembled, and they walked among the ranks handing out one or the other of the two kinds of scrolls to each team, then escorting the teams to their gates and watching to make sure they didn’t enter until go time. It was tedious work that on a different day he would have enjoyed, would have been chatting with Hinata and bantering with Ino, would have been playing with Akamaru to mess with the kids, hyping them up for the next phase of the test.

Instead, he stood alone with his back to the setting sun and watched a team of kids he didn’t know shuffle nervously around at a gate and thought about waiting to enter that arena with Shino, Hinata and Akamaru at his side, their team scared and eager and ready to prove themselves. He’d been nervous, but he hadn’t let it show. He couldn’t let it show, not when his team was depending on him, not when two of the most important people in the world to him needed him to fight and win.

At last, the kids were in, they reported back to the main gate, divvied up the shifts for the next week of observation, and were free to go. He and Hinata and Ino had ten hours to themselves before their team had to return and go into the forest for direct observation. It felt like so little time for what he needed to do.

Hinata nodded stiffly to him and turned to leave and all his desire to put off owning up to his crappy behavior evaporated at the sight of her back.

“Wait!”

She paused, turning just enough to look at him. “Kiba.”

Her dry, disinterested tone cut him deeply and he flinched. He wondered for the first time if she would even listen to an apology. “Walk with me?”

It felt like an age passed while she considered him flatly, finally nodding and following him out into the forested area that surrounded the exam arena while Ino tried to act like she wasn’t squirming in frustrated curiosity, waving at them and disappearing off toward the village in a huff.

He waited until they were a good distance from the main gate, relatively assured of privacy, then asked, “How’s the uh… how’s the fiancé doing?” in a dominatingly casual tone. Then he wondered what the fuck had made him decide to say that while she shot him a look that fairly shouted ‘are you kidding me?’

When it seemed she wasn’t going to dignify that with a response, he stopped, forcefully shoving his hands into his pants pockets, making himself look at her even as his head bowed. She paused beside him, arms crossed, expression closed off.

“Fuck, Hinata, I’m sorry.”

She looked unimpressed. “For?”

“For… for the terrible things I said to you. They were completely untrue, and I was wildly out of line.”

“And?”

He flinched again. “And for acting like you didn’t have any agency when I know how strong you are, and for not listening when you tried to tell me that.”

“And?”

A shaky breath slowly filled his lungs as he wracked his brain, realizing after a moment what else was on the apology program. “And for waiting so long to apologize when I should have done so immediately.” That was it, right? At least for this leg of the apology tour? God, he hoped that was it.

Her arms were still crossed over her chunin vest, her silver stare unforgiving. He waited while she considered his words, watching the faint breeze stirring a few dark strands of her short hair, wafting flower petals between them from the first blooms of spring. He ached to pull her close, to return to the easy rapport they’d had for so many years. Snuggling against her, immersing himself in her scent, a scent which told him he was trusted and loved, that he was with a friend that was as close to him as family, he’d missed it so much. Even if her scent was now inextricably tangled with Neji’s.

It had been a slap in the face that he just hadn’t seen coming, hadn’t braced himself for at all, catching that comforting scent of his beloved friend, and then inhaling to find it wrapped in the possessive, intimate smell of a man he hated, a man he’d spent years viciously wishing he could hurt. The expected soothing sensation of trust and familiarity had smacked right into an electric shock of rage and betrayal and that animal protective instinct that told him Hinata was his pack and his entire purpose in life was to keep his pack safe. He’d wanted to tear Neji apart.

She still smelled like Neji, but it wasn’t a shock to his system anymore; it was beginning to become a part of her. Shino smelled like Kiba in the same way; they’d been together so long now that he always carried a scent that indelibly marked him as Kiba’s, an olfactory signature that aggressively snarled mine, this man is mine to anyone who could detect it, and the thought that one day he might not, that he might smell like someone else, the way Hinata smelled like Neji, it made his chest feel like it was splitting open. Shino’s scent could change, like hers had changed. If it changed, it would change for the same reason, these goddamn clan traditions, this birthright obligation that dictated the lives of the people he loved. And then someone would touch him, would leave their scent all over him and he would have to feel that punch every time he saw Shino, like he did every time he saw Hinata now.

Fuck, his throat was tightening, his eyes growing hot. He was sorry and ashamed for what he’d said, how he’d hurt her, and afraid of losing what he had, afraid he was making it worse, and godfuckingdammnit, he was not going to cry. That unforgiving stare softened, taking in his pathetic state, and Hinata tugged on his vest, pulling him close and he latched onto her with probably too much strength, feeling the breath squeeze out of her narrow frame, warm and strained against his chest, and he buried his face in her hair and shit, fine, maybe he was going to cry, but only a little. He’d been so angry with her for weeks, so unrepentant and spiteful, and now he just felt the hideous void that had been left by her absence from his life.

“I love you. So much. I’m so sorry.”

She squeezed him back, in her own version of too hard, which was still gentle and careful and so very lovingly, sweetly, Hinata, and for the first time in weeks the excruciating clench of anger and hurt that had been building inside him started to abate.

__________

Despite the fact that Kiba had a key to his place, somehow Shino managed to work up enough hope that the knock on the door was him that he felt a genuine dash of disappointment to go with the extremely unpleasant surprise of finding his sister standing on his stoop. She regarded him passively from behind a high collar and dark glasses, saying nothing as he stepped aside to admit her. He took a moment to gaze down the street before he shut the door. Kiba hadn’t come home last night. Or, back. Kiba didn’t live with him. He hadn’t come back last night. The day had come and gone, and his boyfriend would have been attending to the chunin exams for most of it, but he should be done by now, and it seemed he’d chosen to not return again.

Thankfully, the possibility that it wasn’t Kiba had prompted him to don his own coat and glasses before answering the door, so he didn’t have to deal with censure for being improperly dressed. Shizuko paused by the coffee table, taking in her surroundings, looking at all of it for the first time. Of course, she hadn’t been afforded the opportunity to live outside the clan compound and seemed to regard him availing himself of that right of passage to be a self-indulgent waste of time. It wasn’t as though he could argue the situation was fair, so Shino had never begrudged her that.

Her gaze stopped on Akamaru, who was sprawled on his bed by the counter that sectioned off the kitchen area. The dog’s enormous bulk was enough of an affront that one of her eyebrows noticeably twitched as she turned to stare at him, her silence a maelstrom of incredulousness and distaste.

Having not invited her over, Shino made the intensely inappropriate decision to disregard the obvious question in favor of simply offering her a seat at the kitchen table. Whether this was too close to Akamaru’s offensive presence or she simply preferred to stand, she declined, lingering in the middle of his living room, her back ramrod straight, her expression cool and the exact right amount of annoyed to be just under the threshold of deniable. Her hair, in the same dull shade of black as his own, was pulled back in its typical, severe lines, bound in a ponytail at the nape of her neck. His own tight waves, spiking up despite how short he kept his hair, felt unreasonably messy by comparison.

Shino tucked his hands into his pockets; if she was going to stay standing, so would he. “Shizuko?”

“The clan elders will be holding their spring session next week.” When this didn’t seem to make much of an impression on him, she added. “Your year of independence has expired.”

Well, he’d known letting the deadline pass would prompt some kind of intervention. Still, he’d thought she would consider gloating to be beneath her. “I am aware.”

“It was not father’s understanding that your independent period would become an excuse to shirk your duties of inheritance.”

Tension rippled through him, kikaichu snapping to a ready attention, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Akamaru shift on his bed, drawing his bulk from a lazy sprawl to something more alert. It made him concerned he had not adequately hidden his reaction, though his knew neither his face nor his chakra had given anything away.

A few short months after Kiba’s birthday he had decided how he wanted to handle his father, and had begun very intentionally disentangling himself from those duties. Now he’d missed the winter seasonal clan meeting, and he fully intended to miss the spring as well, though as he’d planned it, he would have notified his father of his intention prior to doing so. Shizuko was always in attendance, and frankly was simply better at those aspects of clan politics than he ever would be. Better at all aspects of clan politics, if he was honest. On some faint, background level, he’d thought she would be relieved at his absence. The impossibility of female inheritance under clan law had been a thorn in both of their sides, though not one they had bonded over. The Aburame patriarch fostered no love or camaraderie in his home.

Boys were granted a year to live outside the compound to encourage self-reliance and solidify an internal connection with their individual hive, and he had looked forward to doing so for years before he’d come of age. Typically, they were not required to attend to clan duties during that time but of course, as the heir, the expectations on him had not abated. Now that Shizuko was here, he was honestly wondering why it had taken so long for his absence from the winter session to garner a reaction, though he would not have predicted that his sister would deliver the rebuke.

“You have been present at the seasonal sessions.”

“I am not the heir.” Her toneless voice gave him little to go on, but he still felt guilty that she’d been put upon by his absence. He wondered how she would react if he apologized, but he didn’t get the chance to find out as her gaze settled on Akamaru again. “What is the Inuzuka’s animal doing in your apartment?”

“Kiba and I are mission partners.” The fact that they were friends would doubtless mean little to her, but it wasn’t strange to spend time with someone you worked with so much.

She returned to staring at him while he watched the guard hairs on Akamaru’s neck rise out of the corner of his eye. “The Inuzuka is not here now.”

It was very odd to find an Inuzuka dog separated from its master. He knew Akamaru’s obvious attunement to his own emotional and physical state was also odd if one didn’t know that Kiba was his partner in more than just a mission sense. Which Shizuko did not. Until now, possibly, because her silence curled with suspicion. A flicker of fear went through him. He’d made up his mind about how he was going to handle his father, but if Kiba didn’t want to be a part of his life anymore then he had no business dragging the Inuzuka through that trial with him.

His refusal to provide an explanation clearly rankled, though her voice remained even. “The deadline has passed. Father is expecting you back, and his patience is wearing thin.” Obviously, hers was as well. Shizuko’s head moved minutely, perusing the space around them once more, “It is time to leave behind this place and…” lingering on Akamaru pointedly, “…whatever else you have accumulated.”

A very Kiba-like growl silently caught in his throat as a protective aggression surged through him, almost shocking in its intensity. He didn’t like having her here. He didn’t like having her eyes on him, on his apartment, on his boyfriend’s dog that he had come to love nearly as much as he loved Kiba. On his life, judging and assessing and consigning as worthless and disposable everything he’d worked so hard to build for himself.

He took a deep breath and reminded himself that he had already made up his mind about how to handle this. The decision was final, and her visit changed nothing.

“I will return to the compound to see father shortly. You may tell him to expect me soon.”

“How soon?” His sister was well and truly out of patience, to be asking so pointedly.

“Soon.” As soon as he’d worked out what was going on with his boyfriend.

The quiet settled around them, unhappiness filling the space out to the very corners, the distrust that had been forged between them brittle and omnipresent. It was a convincing facsimile of the atmosphere of his childhood, the dim and uncompromising Aburame grand hall, where they each sat alone, sharing a family name and a clan technique and little else. Shino did not miss it. And he did not like having it in his home.

__________

He and Hinata had spoken until nightfall, and all his clenched-up feelings had started to relax. If he hadn’t been such an asshole about the whole thing, it would have been a little funny that they’d both spent their youth harboring what they thought were totally inappropriate, one-sided crushes on distant, reserved boys who’d never shown any returned interest. It wasn’t funny, but she was talking to him again, which made his heart sing, and she was safe and happy, which was all he could want for her. He hadn’t yet reconciled himself with the fact that this meant he was going to have to learn to spend time with Neji now that that asshole was a permanent part of her life. Should probably stop referring to him as ‘that asshole’ as well. He could only say it in his head so often before there was a real risk he’d accidentally say it out loud.

Still, he’d apologized, he could work on hating Neji less later. Kiba knew he was a work in progress as it was, and he felt miles better. Until, that is, he was making his way down the darkened streets to Shino’s place. As he drew near, fear started to nag at him, the fear that had pushed him to lash out, and Kiba grit his teeth, growling at himself. This was why Akamaru was angry with him, why his canine partner had refused his call and made a stand at the Aburame’s side. He had to get over this, get past it. Trust his boyfriend. That’s what Iruka had told him. Trust that Shino would stay, that he would back him up, that he wouldn’t come to resent him for everything he’d had to give up.

Fuck, trusting someone like that was terrifying.

He paused at the corner of Shino’s block as the door to his apartment opened, admitting onto the stoop a woman it took him a few seconds to even recognize. He hadn’t seen Shino’s sister in years, and when he had they hadn’t exactly been formally introduced. The Aburame clan seemed to think tolerating the presence of an Inuzuka near their heir was trial enough, and there was no love lost between the siblings, so Shino had never made an effort to connect them.

What if he was too late? What if he’d already ruined this thing between them, and Shino’s sister had showed up to demand that he return to the compound and take his place and he’d agreed because of the all the crap Kiba had given him? Yup, terror was well and truly in residence, worming through the part of him that was trying to be trusting. Shino’s sister had never come to his place before. What the fuck was she doing here now?

She stood outside the door for a moment, her posture almost unnaturally straight as she slid her hands into her pockets, her face obscured behind the traditional Aburame jacket and glasses, despite the low light around them. For a wild moment, Kiba wondered what she would say if he told her that he knew what her eyes looked like behind those glasses, the deep, almost glittery black from corner to corner that the Aburame were so careful to conceal at all times. How would she react to knowing that he knew what she was hiding, because he’d seen it a thousand times now, not just as Shino’s mission partner, but close and personal, loving and intimate and vulnerable?

Kiba shook the thought off, and tried to ditch the wondering about what had drawn her here tonight of all nights. There was no way to know beyond asking Shino about it, and he had to go inside to do that. He waited for her to stride down the street before heading to the front door. He let himself indulge his cowardice on the stoop, pausing to rub his fingertips over the key Shino had given him, cool metal and dull grooves that were a tangible piece of their relationship, of what he meant to his boyfriend. Shino had extended a lot of trust of his own. He deserved better than to be at the whims of Kiba’s rampant insecurities.

Trust your partner. Trust that they won’t leave you, that they’ll back you up.

He’d been wrong about why Hinata was continuing her engagement. He hadn’t seen that she was rather gleefully sticking it to her mother and the clan elders, that everyone in the Hyuuga upper echelons was actually pretty pissed at her and Neji, dating openly with no wedding date set and a blatant refusal to schedule one. It was miles from what he thought rebellion would look like, but he wasn’t from a clan like hers.

Opening the door revealed the first floor occupied only by Akamaru, making him wonder implausibly for a moment if Shino’s sister had been there alone with his dog, before he heard the sound of running water overhead and realized his boyfriend was upstairs. The dog was giving him a deadpan look, ears back, muscles tense, and Kiba ducked his head as he pulled the door shut, finding it difficult to meet that dark, judgmental gaze.

“I know, you were right, and I was wrong. I’m-,”

The rest of his words were lost in a surprised ‘oof’ as Akamaru cut around him the moment the door latched, shoving his enormous head against the small of Kiba’s back and nearly sending him sprawling to the living room floor. His superb balance saved him from going face first into the corner of the coffee table, and when Kiba turned offended eyes over his shoulder he found Akamaru planted defiantly between him and the door. He clearly thought Kiba might run again to avoid facing his fears, and he let out a deep sigh because the dog knew him way too well. One shitty part of his mind was already trying to figure out how quickly he could get past Akamaru’s implacable bulk.

He stepped forward to offer an apologetic rub over his head, and was met with another rough shove, this time toward the stairs, just as he heard, “Kiba?” from behind him.

Shino was halfway down, paused somewhat tentatively between steps, his all-black eyes hesitant and wary. Moisture clung to the dark hair at his temples, like he’d been splashing water on his face, and he was stripped down to just a mesh shirt and loose pants, feet bare on the carpet.

After a beat, he murmured, “You didn’t come home last night.”

“Yeah.” It didn’t even occur to him to question the designation of the apartment as home. “I-,” Akamaru shoved against his back again, again nearly sending him sprawling because he wasn’t expecting it. “Alright already, I’m doing it!” he borderline shouted over his shoulder, and immediately made for the stairs, shooing Shino ahead of him. He was struggling enough as it was without trying to say what he needed to say while the dog glared and growled from the corner.

They were alone in the bedroom, the place he couldn’t help thinking of as ‘their room,’ and he inhaled quietly. Everything in here smelled of the two of them, sex and comfort and closeness. A connection he was desperate to protect. He stared at the bed, not sure how to start.

To his surprise, Shino seemed to know exactly what he wanted to say. “I would like to tell my father that I will not be returning to the Aburame compound. To tell him about us, if that’s still what you want.”

His head snapped up, eyes wide. Could he have heard that correctly? Shino’s expression was smooth, but his nerves were visible to someone who knew him, in the twitch of an eyebrow, in the tightness around the corners of his mouth.

“I…”

“I do not know what’s bothering you. I can only surmise I have done something to cause you upset. If you no longer want to be together, Kiba-,”

“No!” Shino blinked, seeming to brace himself, and Kiba slapped a hand over his own forehead. Maybe he should just let Akamaru explain; the dog was a damn sight better at knowing his mind than he was. If only he could speak. “Goddamnit, Shino, of course I want to be with you, that’s all I fucking want!”

This seemed to throw Shino off; his brow furrowed and he opened his mouth, but hesitated, saying nothing. Kiba let out a frustrated whine, spinning to face away from him, arms crossed, little tremors going through his body. Looking at Shino’s face was just making him think about the hurt and confusion he’d put there the previous day, which was making it really difficult to focus on his words. He never had a problem speaking, never struggled to explain himself. Except for now, of course.

He heard Shino take a step, drawing closer to his back, not touching him. “Kiba?” That infinite Aburame patience seemed to be wearing out, if his tone was anything to go by.

“I’m just…” He hunched in on himself. “I don’t want you to hate me.”

“What?”

“I… I love you so much, I can’t imagine losing you, but you’d be giving so much up if we go public and I can deal with the rest of it, with your clan and people’s judgements and all of it, but if you started to resent me for everything you lost, I don’t think I could handle it.”

Abruptly, Shino’s arms were around him, tugging him back into a firm, steady hold. The stupid chunin uniform meant he couldn’t feel his boyfriend’s skin, but he felt his warmth, seeping through the rough fabric of his shinobi blues. His eyes were prickling, and Kiba squeezed them shut, hunching over further, even in the embrace. His boyfriend could say he wouldn’t resent Kiba, and he knew that Shino would mean it, but he couldn’t be held to his word forever, he couldn’t be certain how he would feel years from now, measuring everything he’d given up against what Kiba had to offer, which was only himself.

Trust your partner. Fucking shit, trust was scary.

“Kiba.” God, he loved that voice, deep and even, rolling over him as Shino spoke softly by his ear, arms tight around his chest right under where Kiba’s were still crossed. “I love you.”

Shit, shit, shit. They’d never actually said that to each other before. Why had he waited until now to say it? How could Shino do this to him, saying it in this middle of this horrible conversation?! He ached all the way through, trying to clench his eyes tighter.

“I love you, and if you didn’t want to be together anymore, I’d be devastated. But I would still go to my father and tell him that I’m not coming back.” Kiba felt every muscle in his body stiffen in surprise. Shino carried on like he hadn’t noticed, cradling him close. “If you left me tomorrow, I would still refuse my engagement, my place in the clan’s leadership, because I do not want it. You taught me how to seek happiness, how to fight for it, and whether or not you want me anymore, you’ve still shown me that I can forge my own life, and I intend to do that. I want-,” His voice briefly caught. “I want very much to do that with you… but I will be doing it no matter what.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. There was absolutely no goddamn way that he was going to cry twice in one fucking day. His arms had dropped to wrap around Shino’s, gripping him harshly. Okay, maybe one tear slipped out. He forced himself to relax his grip, moving haltingly until he was facing his boyfriend, and Shino looked wary at his expression; Kiba could barely imagine how he looked. As soon as he tried to speak his throat locked with emotion and wet heat burned through his eyes and motherfucker, no, no more fucking crying.

A life age passed while he wrestled down the morass of emotions, leaning his forehead against Shino’s, rubbing their noses together because his boyfriend was the fucking sweetest and he let Kiba do that without demanding an explanation for it so he could do it all he wanted, which was all the time.

At last, voice cracking, he ground out a thin, shaky, “Yeah?”

Shino smiled, the smile he only ever showed to Kiba. “Yeah.”

And his heart burst and he shoved his boyfriend hard, tumbling him onto the bed and pinning him there, rough and so overwhelmed he was almost furious, and maybe, maybe one more tear got free, but neither of them would see it at least, because he was kissing Shino wildly and Shino was kissing back, opening for him and petting through his hair and surging up to meet the press of his body.

His head was spinning when they finally came up for air, shaking the unzipped chunin vest off and onto the floor. “Tell me again.”

“Wha…?” Shino was looking up at him with those all-black eyes, which could have seemed so empty and expressionless, but Kiba could read the emotion in them because it was his, this closeness, he was the one who got to see Shino like this, see his eyes, see his real feelings. He was pulling at the top of Kiba’s shinobi blues, and he shimmied out of it as quickly as he could, feeling the press of mesh against his chest as their bodies settled against each other again.

He rubbed their noses together, and their groins just because it was fun to distract Shino while he was demanding that he focus. “Tell me you love me.”

A strained noise shook out of Shino at the rubbing, still petting him just the way that Kiba liked it, fingertips dragging over his scalp, the words warm and wonderful against him. “I love you.”

He whined and rubbed harder, his body thrumming with arousal, like it had been set loose by the easing of his fears. “And you’re gonna tell everyone about us?”

A little sardonic quirk passed over Shino’s mouth. “I rather thought you would participate in the telling as well.”

The whine was deepening, threatening to resolve into a growl or a purr, but not decided yet. “I don’t know if you want that, lover.”

Shino’s other hand was at his ass, digging in and flexing into the muscle, dragging him more firmly against the body he was pinning down. He murmured, voice a little ragged, “Why… why is that?”

“Because if I start telling people…” he moved down, regretful to dislodge the hand on his ass as he went, but needing to taste Shino’s skin. “I may not be able to stop once I get started…” He lapped at his boyfriend’s pale throat, dragging his tongue harshly over skin, feeling the ridge of a tiny kikaichu scar, unusual on that part of his body, expected because he’d felt it many times. “I’ll tell them that you’re mine…” He bit gently, letting his fangs catch and feeling Shino’s groan vibrate against his lips. “I’ll tell them that that I love you…”

He enjoyed the shudder beneath him, continuing down, licking over the line of his collarbone, pushing the mesh shirt up under Shino’s armpits, as out of his way as he had the patience to get it. “I’ll tell them how much I love your body…”

His tongue traced over a nipple, teasingly, circling it with just the tip, over and over until his boyfriend was gasping and the hand in his hair was less petting than shoving. He fastened his mouth over Shino’s chest, sucking and swirling his tongue, purring as both hands went into his hair, stroking and gripping, possessive and distractingly good. He gave one last, nearly vicious suck, and arched his head back into the perfectly painful grip in his hair, panting as his arousal pulsed between his legs, demanding attention.

“Love your hands, the way you touch me…” He craned his neck to the side to nip at Shino’s palm, and purred again as fingers smoothed almost reverently over his forehead, his cheekbone, cradling his jaw. He shot his boyfriend a grin and snapped at them, relishing the breathless sound he made as Kiba’s teeth got him, soothing the bite with a lick.

He nuzzled down the flat plane of Shino’s abdominals, stroking over his bellybutton, watching him tremble in anticipation as his touch moved over the hem of Shino’s pants. “Love the way you want me… how you’re so responsive, so ready when I wanna fuck, which is all the time because I always fucking want you…”

He curled his hand around hard, pulsing heat beneath soft, thin cloth, tracing and fondling over it, and the whine had definitely resolved into a growl as Shino hissed and spread his legs. “I’m gonna wanna tell them how much I love your gorgeous cock, Shino…” He was thrilled to see a blush rising on his boyfriend’s pale cheeks, to hear a soft, almost desperate sound as he drew back to strip him bare, tossing his clothing carelessly so he could get back between his legs.

Kiba inhaled as he pressed his lips to the shaft, darting his tongue out quickly to taste him, then kissed over the head, precum smearing on his mouth, his boyfriend’s hardness twitching in his hand. He watched Shino carefully as he kissed and licked at the head again, stroking the length of him with teasing pressure.

“Tell them how much I love the taste of you… tell them how hot I get when I have you in my mouth, how much I love wrapping my lips around your cock and sucking you while I get so hard and needy I can barely think and I just need you to pet me and fuck my mouth and tell me how good I am…”

His boyfriend let out an honest to god pleading moan, his hips thrusting helplessly up, his grip in Kiba’s hair franticly tight. Shit, he always looked good while he was getting his cock sucked, but the blush on his face, the little hint of embarrassment that seemed only to be fueling his arousal, it was a whole new level of mind-blowingly attractive. Kiba tilted his head into the petting and rutted against the bed a few times to try to relieve the aching intensity between his legs. Fuck he was so goddamn hard.

“Is that what you want, baby?” He was still tonguing over the head, enjoying the taste as his boyfriend leaked and hardened even more in his hand, still stroking only gently along his shaft. “You want me to suck your amazing cock? Fuck, I want to… want to suck you and stroke myself while you take my mouth, feel you getting rough with me when you can’t hold back anymore…”

Shino let out another incredibly loud moan, tugged hard on his hair, and Kiba relented, sliding over the length of him, taking him deep, just slightly too deep for a moment in a practiced move that nearly gagged him and helpfully made him salivate more, and then he was working him steadily, saliva running down to his fingers as they dragged firmly along silky skin in counterpoint to his mouth, lips stretched tight around Shino’s girth, his big, goddamn lovely cock that felt amazing however Kiba took it, hot and smooth along his tongue, nudging back toward his throat over and over while Shino groaned and panted and flexed up into his movements.

He let himself really indulge for a bit, enjoying the slide and the slight difficulty of it, how he had to focus on pleasing his boyfriend, distinct from when Shino was fucking him and he could just take it and let him mind drown in the feeling, though both acts made him feel equally owned and eager. He could sense the tension in Shino, orgasm impending, clearly riled by Kiba’s words as well as his touch, but he wasn’t done explaining all the things he wanted to tell everyone, and he drew Shino to right to the edge and then squeezed the base of his cock and he would have smiled if his mouth hadn’t been full at the extraordinarily loud curse Shino let out.

He leaned back slowly, only loosening his grip when he was certain Shino wouldn’t come if he did, raking his eyes over the man with pleasure. There had been a time when Shino’s body was still mostly a mystery to him, even after having been on missions where they shared a hotel room. The Aburame were religious about covering up, officially for the privacy and maintenance of the hive they housed, giving themselves over to their bugs and thereby sequestering their bodies from the world around them. But he knew the scars weren’t irrelevant in the decision to cover up, that Shino was self-conscious about them, as he was with his eyes.

The strange pattern of them, technically everywhere, but clustering in locations where the kikaichu were more typically called to emerge, was mesmerizing. Shino had the developed musculature of any practicing shinobi, firm and hard almost everywhere, his chest a model of sculpted definition, but he lacked even the slightest hint of tan. So many of their comrades had made a habit of going out in only mesh coverings, but the sun never touched his skin, and he had an almost moon-kissed glow, gorgeously pale to Kiba’s dusky brown, with the scars standing out only by their feel and the barely visible change in shade, just slightly lighter than the rest of him, spiderwebbing out in scantly connected clusters. He watched those scars subtly shift with the heavy rising of Shino’s chest and, even if only to himself, snarled with satisfaction that no one else had ever seen them, and no one else ever would.

“Kiba.”

The sound of his name snapped his attention back up, finding Shino reaching for him, open and yearning, and it made him whine again. Shino could get rough when he was really into things, something that made every part of Kiba fill with shivery arousal, but he was never demanding or impatient, which was an unlikely combination that made Kiba want to preemptively submit and offer himself, knowing that nothing he gave was taken for granted.

He kicked off the rest of his clothes and snagged the lube as he crawled up, pressing it to him and throwing a leg over his boyfriend to straddle his waist. He leaned down to give Shino a taste of himself, letting out another eager whine into his mouth as slippery fingers circled his entrance and then pushed in, two at once to start with, shit, he really had gotten Shino wound up.

The intrusion burned, painful and nice, and he hissed, leaning back into it as he was opened up. “Mmmm, fuck yeah, so good with your hands, baby. Got me so ready for you…”

To his mild amusement, Shino shook his head, nosing down below his jaw to place open mouthed kisses along his throat. He might like it rough sometimes, but he didn’t want it to actually hurt, and Shino wouldn’t rush preparing him. It was hard to mind the wait, though, because wet, sucking kisses at his neck were making him turn his head into it, god, Shino knew how much he liked baring his throat like this. He rocked into both touches, murmuring praise until he knew he was actually ready, pinning Shino with a hand on the center of his chest as he leaned back onto his haunches.

He’d had the presence of mind to get himself slick while he was prepping Kiba because of course he had, sexy motherfucker always thinking ahead, always prepared. Kiba reached back to guide him up, lowering himself until he felt blunt, heavy pressure right where he wanted it, then braced himself on his boyfriend as he sank the rest of the way, inch after glorious inch pushing into him.

“Oh fuck, oh goddamnit, Shino…” That perfect semi-pain of penetration, the incredible closeness between them, the way everything that Shino was was consumed by him, it was so fucking good. He lifted himself, still braced on that sculpted, pale chest, up and then down, rolling his body, feeling his boyfriend holding on to his forearms tightly.

“Ooooooh, fuck, lover, you don’t actually want me to talk to anyone about us, because if I’m allowed to talk about us, I’m not sure I won’t tell them how much I love your cock…” He got into a steady rhythm, fucking himself quickly and smoothly, “How much I love spreading my legs for you, taking it in…” Shino grunted beneath him, jaw clenched, all-black eyes burning into him. He glanced down at himself, his cock bobbing along with his movement, swollen and dripping. Shit, this wasn’t going to be a very long ride.

“Baby, I wanna tell everyone how much I love it when you fuck me, how fucking hard it gets me…” he was whimpering now, feeling Shino rock up every time he slammed himself down. “Making me so desperate, so ready to come, fuck, look how close I am, shit, the second you touch me I’m gonna come with your perfect cock so deep inside me-,”

He cut himself off with a borderline scream as Shino, as if to prove his point, wrapped a hand around him and stroked him once, just once, and he was coming, his whole body flexing into it, shooting over Shino’s arm and his chest. He rode his boyfriend through it until his movements stuttered, and then he felt pressure behind him as Shino raised his knees to plant his feet on the bed, tugging him down until they were panting and breathing almost as one, tucked right against each other and Shino drove up into him tightly, urgently, holding him hard and murmuring his name, barely audible over the sound of their bodies.

He couldn’t stop whimpering, as though it hurt even though it didn’t, each thrust forcing another urgent little sound from him until Shino shoved, deeply, roughly, coming inside him and pulling him into a bruising kiss with a strong, almost masterful grip on the back on his neck holding him in place.

They smelled like sweat and sex and closeness, every part of Shino marked with that scent that snarled mine, this man is mine to anyone who could detect it, exactly as he should smell. Kiba hummed happily and wiggled around until he wasn’t completely on top of his boyfriend, tucked against his side and partially over him, wrapping his arms around his chest when Shino reached up to lazily pet through his hair.

Shino was still catching his breath when he murmured faintly, “I hope you will not say any of that to anyone when we tell people about us.”

He snickered. “How do you know I haven’t said all that to the people who already know?”

A worried pause told him he’d really given Shino something to think about. “I… hope you have not.”

Kiba gave him a reassuring squeeze. “Nah… heh, except for once, when it was just Shikamaru and me and he said he didn’t want to hear about any more mushy relationship stuff. So, I told him I could tell him a lot of amazing, totally not mushy things about your dick-,”

“What?!”

That strangled tone was as close as Shino ever got to a yell, and he grinned. “Which was his fault, really, when you think about it.”

“Oh, god.” Kiba shook with laughter, not at all sorry because he wasn’t embarrassed to say complimentary things about how good his boyfriend was in bed, but more importantly, he hadn’t actually shared anything intimate with Shikamaru. “Under what circumstances could this have possibly come up?”

“Oh, we were talking about relationships. This was when he and Ino were moving in together; you remember what that was like for him? Shikamaru is not a man who was made to compromise. About anything. He was complaining about the apartment hunt and I was telling him he was being ridiculous because of how great he and Ino are together and he said something about you and me like he thought it would embarrass me into shutting up, so then I started saying how great we were together and he threw himself on the couch and said that he didn’t want to hear any more mushy stuff about anyone. Then I started talking about your dick and he kicked me out, but they moved in together just a few weeks later, so I’m pretty sure I set him straight.”

The petting had resumed as he spoke. “Well, it seems to have worked out quite well for them.”

He nodded, stretching contentedly. “Yeah. I know how rigid Shikamaru is, but he loves Ino too much not to learn to be part of a team with her. He’s too much of a prickly fucker to say it, but I know how happy he is living with her.”

The fingers in his hair slowed, and there was a beat of silence before Shino asked, “Is that something you’d be interested in?”

“What, living with Ino?”

A long sigh told him he was being a moron. “Living together.”

Abruptly, Kiba pushed himself up by his arms, hovering and staring down with wide eyes. “You mean you and me?”

“If you’d want to.” The barest tightening at the corners of his mouth said Shino was much more nervous than his tone let on.

After a few seconds, Kiba realized he was just staring dumbly down at his boyfriend like a jerk, but it was still difficult to speak. He’d screwed everything up so badly the last few weeks, had spent so long torturing himself with a growing certainty that Hinata’s engagement was a sign that his own relationship was doomed… how could he fuck up this epically and still be offered the things he wanted so badly?

“…Kiba?”

He shook his head, trying to dislodge the thoughts all jammed on top of each other, and felt Shino go very tense beneath him. “No!” Shino flinched. Damn, that was misleading. “I mean, no, I’m not saying no, I’m just trying to get my head to…” He was usually so verbose, why couldn’t he string a few sentences together when it really mattered? Especially when shutting up was so often what was required, and he rarely succeeded at that.

Black eyes blinked slowly at him, tentative and confused. “So, you’re… not saying no?”

“I’m saying yes, fucking hell, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m saying yes!” He kissed Shino before his boyfriend could offer uncharitable guesses about what might be wrong with him.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed that way, him draped over Shino, cradling each other and sharing kisses that had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with affection. By the time they parted, Shino looked dazed and happy and Kiba could have cried because he put that look on Shino’s face, but nope, no more crying, seriously.

Instead of crying, he asked, “When should we move in together?”

“Soon is what I would like, if you would as well. And it will be safer if we are together under one roof after I tell my father.”

Kiba grinned ruefully, because it was better than a grimace. “Hard to say no under those circumstances.”

Shino did grimace, worry lacing through his voice. “We do not need to do so only because of the risk to you. I don’t want you to agree if you don’t-,”

Kiba shoved a hand rudely over his mouth. “Jeez, kidding! I’m not gonna let you get shifty about whether I want this when you’re offering me something I want the goddamn most. Let’s live together. I want to live with you.” He glanced around. “Should I just move in here?”

“I fully expect to be cut off once I come clean, after which we likely will not be able to afford this apartment.”

“Right.” He mulled that over. “Probably for the best, this place isn’t the easiest for Akamaru to navigate.” The enormous dog couldn’t get up the tight stairs that led to the second floor, which he’d been huffy about from the day Kiba had helped Shino move in.

A particular smile tugged at the corner of Shino’s mouth. “Of course. We will need to find a place that is comfortable for him as well.”

“I guess…” He pouted without meaning it. “He’s been such a jerk to me lately, but I suppose we should take him into account.”

“He seemed rather intent on corralling you tonight.”

“Yeah. I think he thought I was gonna run off again or something. He’s been all pissy at me for not talking about my feelings.”

The particular smile widened, and Shino murmured with audible affection, “Good dog.”

Kiba ducked his head a bit, feeling like a jerk himself. “Seriously, I’m sorry about how I’ve been acting. I should have listened to him.”

“I know this hasn’t been easy. I don’t think what happens next will be easy either.”

“No… but we’ll work it out.” He let out a shaky sigh. “I trust you.” All-black eyes watched him intently, and he grinned. “Tell me again.”

“I love you.” He could feel a silent laugh in Shino’s chest as he stretched and preened happily, indulging him with more petting before his infinitely practical boyfriend asked, “When do you need to return to the chunin exam?”

The clock was out of sight, but he had a rough idea of what time it was. “Few hours. Time for a nap and some food.”

“Why don’t I make us dinner, then you can sleep? We can discuss how to proceed with finding an apartment after your next shift at the arena.”

“Eager to move out?” Kiba teased. “I thought you liked this place?”

Shino looked thoughtful. “It has suited me well. But even if we could afford to keep it, I don’t think I would want to. I’d like us to find something together. Does that make sense?”

He sighed, going boneless to indicate his agreement. “Something together. Yeah, that makes sense. That sounds awesome. We’ll make a place that’s just ours.”