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Jin Ling is a whole 8 years old when he first meets him. Mother's last, living brother. Jin Ling doesn't know his name. Only that he is a Jiang from Yunmeng and that Jin Ling is absolutely not allowed to call him anything else than Jiujiu. Or Sect Leader Jiang, if he's being extra formal. But Xiao Shushu doesn't like being called Sect Leader Jin, so Jin Ling is going to assume he ought to be calling this man Jiujiu.
Jiujiu is tall. Mountainously tall. Xiao Shushu is tiny, next to him. Then again, Xiao Shushu is tinier next to most cultivators. Jin Ling has to walk a few steps back in order to look Jiujiu in the eye. Once he can see Jiujiu's face, he offers a bow, the way Xiao Shushu taught him. Jiujiu nods, arms crossed, a little frown between his brows. Jin Ling thinks back to his bow.
Did he do it wrong?
"Well, then," says Xiao Shushu, "I'll be off. Take your time." And then he leaves. He leaves Jin Ling all alone with Jiujiu, whose frown is even deeper as he watches Xiao Shushu leave.
He's so scary.
"Come here," says Jiujiu, pointing to the cushion across from him. Jin Ling goes to kneel on it, back straight. Jiujiu's frown deepens even further and Jin Ling is not sure how he can do that. All he knows is that he keeps doing things wrong and displeasing Jiujiu and what can he do to stop this? Please, someone send help.
They sit in uncomfortable silence for a while until Jiujiu reaches for the basket of lotus pods on the table next to them. He begins to peel them open and shuck the seeds, one by one.
"Do you know who I am?" asks Jiujiu. He keeps his attention on the lotus pods. Jin Ling is grateful for that. He isn’t sure he would've been able to answer if Jiujiu were looking at him. As it is, he nods and says:
"Jiujiu."
"Mn," says Jiujiu. He's done taking the seeds out of the pods, so he starts peeling them. He offers the first one to Jin Ling who takes it with hesitant hands. Jiujiu sighs and continues peeling the seeds and offering them to Jin Ling. What is it this time? What has Jin Ling done wrong, now? He's being respectful, isn't he? He's being nice and quiet. Seen, not heard. Just like he's been taught. Why is Jiujiu so dissatisfied?
Jin Ling wants to cry.
Mother would have known. She'd have known what Jin Ling is doing wrong. Why her brother doesn't like him.
"Why do you look like that?" asks Jiujiu. Jin Ling is barely holding back his tears, so he doesn't trust himself to speak. He just looks at Jiujiu in askance. Jiujiu's jaw tightens and he looks really angry now.
"Why do you look like you're going to cry?" asks Jiujiu. Well, that's because Jin Ling is. He's going to cry if Xiao Shushu doesn't come back soon. Please, come back. Please, come back. Please, come back. Pleasepleasepleaseplease.
"Are you scared of me?" asks Jiujiu.
And the question just really bursts the dam in Jin Ling’s chest. So, he starts wailing and crying and screaming and Jiujiu looks at him in mounting alarm. He stands up and goes to the door, yells something at someone, then, comes back to hover around Jin Ling, arms hanging at his sides. He stares at Jin Ling in confusion, making several aborted motions with his arms, like he's going to hug Jin Ling, maybe. But he keeps not doing it and maybe that's for the best because Jin Ling might cry harder if he did.
"What happened?" asks Xiao Shushu, as he rushes back into the room. He picks Jin Ling up and holds him close and that feels better, so, Jin Ling curls his hands into the golden fabric of Xiao Shushu's robes, holding on as tight as he can.
"I don't know," says Jiujiu. "I was just feeding him lotus seeds and he suddenly started crying." Xiao Shushu sighs and starts rocking Jin Ling and running a soothing had down his back to calm him down.
"A-Ling," says Xiao Shushu, "can you tell us what happened?"
"Jiujiu hates me!" Jin Ling wails. He had truly hoped this meeting would go better. There were stories, all over Carp Tower, about what a great cultivator Jiujiu was, what a fearsome man. The disciples spoke of wanting to be strong like him, feared and respected everywhere. But, more than anything else, Jiujiu knew Mother. In Carp Tower, everyone could answer all his questions about his Father. But, when he asked about Mother, no one had even a word for him. Just vague "she smiled a lot"s and "she was nice"s. Jiujiu would have actual stories. But Jiujiu doesn't like Jin Ling. He doesn't and, so, Jin Ling will never hear anything about Mother. There won't be anyone to answer his questions. What a disaster. What an utter disaster.
"What do you mean, Jiujiu hates you?" asks Jiujiu.
"You keep f-frowning," Jin Ling hiccups. "A-and you- hic- you g-got- you got aaaan-haan-haanngryyy." He wails louder and buries his nose into Xiao Shushu's robes, rubbing the goo and tears off.
"A-Ling," says Xiao Shushu, chuckling. "I think you misunderstood something."
"I don't hate you!" Jiujiu exclaims.
"Wait, Sect Leader Jiang," says Xiao Shushu. "Let me. A-Ling, would you look at me for a second." Jin Ling doesn't really want to. Here is fine. Xiao Shushu's neck is safe. Jin Ling can stay here. "A-Ling, please?"
So, Jin Ling has no choice but to look up from Xiao Shushu's neck. When he resurfaces, Xiao Shushu is smiling at him as he puts their foreheads together.
"A-Ling, your Jiujiu is a bit odd," says Xiao Shushu.
"Hey!" protests Jiujiu. But Xiao Shushu pays him no mind.
"When your Jiujiu frowns," Xiao Shushu continues, "it doesn't always mean he's angry. He just frowns as a habit. You know, like when you nibble on your brushes even when I tell you not to?"
"Oh," says Jin Ling, blushing. He tries really hard to remember not to bite his brushes but, did Xiao Shushu really need to tell Jiujiu about that?
"You bite your brushes?" asks Jiujiu.
"I don't mean to," Jin Ling admits in a small voice. Jiujiu sighs. Of course he does. Jin Ling must disappoint him a lot. He's probably nothing like Mother. Not nice, not smiley.
No good.
"Can I hold you?" asks Jiujiu. Jin Ling turns around just enough to see him opening his arms for him. He looks to Xiao Shushu, unsure.
"Go ahead," says Xiao Shushu. "I promise he looks way more frightening than he is." Jin Ling isn't so scared of him as he is sad to be such a disappointment. But, if Jiujiu is willing to hold him, maybe Jin Ling can learn how to be better. Maybe Jiujiu still has hopes for Jin Ling. So, he reaches out for Jiujiu's arms, leaving the comfort of Xiao Shushu's warm and flowery hug.
Jiujiu smells sharp. Like a rainy day with lightning and thunder cracking and growling in the distance. It's not an unpleasant smell but it's not warm like Xiao Shushu, who smells like the white flowers in the garden. Xiao Shushu smells like soft hugs. Jiujiu smells like standing at attention. Keep your back straight and look ahead. Chin up. Jin Ling can't tell if he likes it.
"Lianfang-zun," says Jiujiu, "could you leave, for a moment?"
"Mn," says Xiao Shushu. "I'll be right outside, if you need me."
"Thank you," says Jiujiu.
"I don't hate you," says Jiujiu, once Xiao Shushu is gone. "I'm sorry. I frown a lot. I tend to forget." He runs a hand down Jin Ling’s back, the way Xiao Shushu just did. It feels just as nice, just as warm. Jin Ling is surprised that it's not sharp, like everything else about Jiujiu.
"Is Jiujiu angry, a lot?" asks Jin Ling. Jiujiu chuckles. It sounds nice. A little colder than Xiao Shushu. But not bad.
"I have to deal with too many idiots in one day," says Jiujiu, as if he's telling Jin Ling a big secret. "There's a lot of frowning to be done.
"So- so, Jiujiu doesn't hate me?" asks Jin Ling.
"Of course not," says Jiujiu. "That's silly talk. A-Ling is my favorite."
"But we just met!" says Jin Ling.
"That just means you're the best," says Jiujiu, smiling. It's a nice smile. It's a very nice smile. Jin Ling likes it a lot. A lot, a lot. He's so happy that Jiujiu doesn't hate him. He's very happy, so he hugs Jiujiu's neck very tight.
"Ack, you're strangling me, kid," Jiujiu chokes out with a giggle.
"Jiujiu is the best, too!" Jin Ling shouts in his ear. He doesn't know why. He's only just met Jiujiu fof the first time. But he knows, he knows. Deep in his heart, he knows. Jiujiu is the best. He's the bestest best.
"Better than Xiao Shushu," asks Jiujiu.
"Mn!" says Jin Ling. "But, shhhhhh. You can't tell him." Jiujiu snorts and nods.
"Okay," he says. "It'll be our secret."
"Our secret," Jin Ling agrees. Jiujiu laughs some more and gives him a big kiss on the cheek.
"Now," says Jiujiu, "has anyone told you about your Mother's habit of chewing on her brushes?"