Chapter Text
FAGE… The 13th
Title: Cross The Line
Written for: Deonne Deagan
Written By: KitsuShel
Rating: M
O_o_O
I'd never given much thought to my future. Even as a kid, when adults would ask, I never knew what I wanted out of life. I coasted through high school and college, never committing to anything...or anyone. Now, as I watch my best friend, the only man I'd ever really loved, walk down the aisle with another woman, everything my heart desires suddenly flashes across my brain. I see children with copper hair and green eyes and a big house with a picket fence. These are things I'd never wanted—never gave a second thought to, but suddenly they mean everything to me in this moment. My breath catches in my throat, and I feel flushed. I need to get out of here before I make a scene by passing out. Just as I turn my head away, he catches my eye and sends me a goofy, brilliant smile—the kind I always tease him as a dork for. As I smile back, my eyes fill with tears.
As soon as he looks away, I'm silently stealing my way out of St. Agatha's Church, passing pumpkins and fall foliage that decorate the church for this autumn wedding. I'd have loved the idea and festive theme under different circumstances. Now it takes all of my willpower to not kick one of the round gourds straight to Hell.
Twenty minutes later, I arrive at the shitty pizza place I work part-time and toss my purse under the counter before finding a semi-clean apron.
"Hey, Bella," Sal, the owner, calls out to me. "You're late!"
I roll my eyes and turn to help the waitress who's overwhelmed by customers at the counter. "I told you like, three weeks ago, that I was going to a wedding and had to go home to change afterward." He grumbles something in the background, but I pay him no mind. He's a sweetheart deep down, but he puts on a tough-guy exterior. I've been working here since high school. I was clumsy and awkward at first, but I learned fast and eventually helped Sal bring his business into the 21st century by doing some tech work on the side. He's been like a second father to me, which I guess is part of the reason why I never left even though I make most of my money doing freelance tech work.
Two hours later, I've messed up three orders and pissed off two old ladies. This is not my norm—I'm usually the customers' favorite girl here. I just can't keep Edward off my mind and how my Technicolor world suddenly feels like a black and white movie. What the fuck have I been doing with my life? I have a family that I haven't spent much time with in years and an untouchable best friend I'm in love with.
Out of the blue, I just want to toss everything away and disappear—start a new life from scratch somewhere else. It's not like I have anything left to lose at this point. The thought is intriguing, and it sends my thoughts whirling with possibilities. Could I? Could I really just do a one-eighty degree turn with my life? The old lady in front of me scowls, and Sal walks up next to me to smooth things over.
I feel as if I'm in slow motion as I untie my apron and hand it to him. He gives me a confused look but takes it from my hand. I kiss him on the cheek and grab my purse before walking out. "I'm sorry, Sal. I'll call you later."
This feeling is so refreshing and exciting. I have no clue what to do next, so I head home to my tiny apartment. I'm not worried about the job; I make enough money outside of there to live comfortably since I live minimally. Sal will forgive me and find someone else in a heartbeat since there are always teenagers looking for a job. My closet could fit into a suitcase or two, and that's it. The only things I treasure are the shelves of books that line one of my narrow walls. I'm not attached to the apartment in any way, nothing sentimental lying around, and my lease would be easy to break. There aren't even any pictures on the walls.
I'm contemplating packing everything and loading it into my truck. Where would I go though? Somewhere new? Somewhere familiar? Sighing, I flop back on the couch and take a deep breath. I feel like I should take some time to think things through before I make any other life-altering decisions. I pick up my phone and dial my mom's number. Perhaps I could go spend a few days with her and my dad to get some perspective. Twenty minutes later and saying "Everything's fine" about a dozen times, I'm packing a bag to spend the rest of the week in Forks. It's about an hour or so drive from here, so it'll give me some more time to think things through. Maybe going back to my roots will help me figure out which road to take.
As I climb into my well-loved Chevy that my dad gave me as a sixteenth birthday present, my phone chimes with Ed's ringtone. My heart squeezes, and I swallow the lump in my throat. I toss the phone onto the passenger seat, letting it go to voicemail. I'll call him back later, hopefully once I've gotten my shit together. I'm scared that if I talk to him right now, I'll start rambling and let loose this torrent of craziness in my brain that I don't even understand yet. I can't do that to him, not on a day he's supposed to be celebrating.
The miles pass by in a blur of green, and I can't help but recall a bunch of memories that were the best times of my life. The part that hurts is that almost every single one includes Edward Cullen. I've known him since we were elementary school kids. His parents and sister were my second family, and I would spend almost every weekend playing with him and Alice, who was a few years younger than we. Hell, I remember the day she was born.
A few hours later, as I drive past the elementary school's playground, I can't help but wonder if this was such a good idea. How will I be able to gain perspective when I'll be surrounded by nothing but memories? Or maybe it's just what I need, to immerse myself in them, hoping the angst will purge my heart like ripping off a Band-Aid. I'll wallow a little bit, and then I'll come to my senses. I'll know for sure in my heart that I love Ed but just as a friend and nothing more.
The thought alone makes me snort. Sure, when pigs fly.
O_o_O
Only just a friend,
the love story begins
Now here's a happy ending to believe in
O_o_O