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If you asked Atsumu right now to describe everything that was going on through his mind the poor boy wouldn't be able to process it, his brain only registering Kiyoomis name on repeat and trying to digest the fact that he was really holding calloused and pale fingers between his, those that even if awkwardly fitted perfectly against his.
It was Valentines day, he was holding Sakusa Kiyoomis hand on freaking V alentines day.
What if his palms were sweaty?
They were, weren't they? Was Kiyoomi bothered by it? Did it gross him out, would he pull away? What if-
His inner battle was stopped once he felt the way Omis fingers tapped gently against the back of his hand, indicating that they had reached the apartment complex.
To say Atsumu is nervous was being kind to him, really really kind. The blonde felt the heat burning from the pit of his stomach, his apartment was just down the hall from Kiyoomis but it didn't change the fact he wanted to drop the curly haired spiker home and the thought to what that could lead made him question if life was still flowing on his body.
“So Omi, I’ll see ya tomorrow… no wait I’ll pick you up tomorrow.” The words were flowing out of his mouth before he was even able to process it.
“For practice…?” Kiyoomi looked like he was quite interested in the way the setter was acting, quite comical if you asked him.
“Yeah yeah, so like yeah… good night see ya tomorrow”, fuck that was not it, it wasnt supposed to go like this, he was supposed the get a sneaky kiss good night maybe some more stolen pecks if the world helped him out but no, his mind just decided to go blank when the moment came.
“You know Miya, is very impolite to leave without a proper goodbye.”
Atsumus neck snapped back to the other man, only to be met with a ghost of a smirk before those same fingers that were entangled with his only a while ago were being placed gently against his cheek, and god dammit his breath hitched in his throat for a small second, digesting the way Kiyomi's eyes were supposedly waiting for him to do something.
So he did the only sane thing possible at that moment, pressing his lips flush against those that awaited him for far too long, it was sweet, slow and it certainly did not make his heart wanting to burst out of his chest.
It didn't.
-
Okay but what if it did? No one beside him was gonna know it anyways, it's not like his heart was still trying to calm itself down.
Staring up to the ceiling as the light of the night crept its way into his bedroom there were some things on his mind, the first and most important at the moment being “how?”
How did it evolve to this? it was something so natural that went past his own eyes or maybe it didn't and he was just too focused on keeping his heart alive while he looked at black curls and pale skin to remember correctly.
Meeting Sakusa Kiyoomi for the first time was nothing big or incredible, but it was in fact easy to remember. It was his first U19 camp, Atsumu was as excited as he could be to finally play with what were considered the best of bests on his age group, so seeing Itachiyamas ace with a bright yellow jacket there didn't really surprise him, Atsumu kept up with volleyball magazines, especially the ones he was featured, and he knew the guy with curly hair and a mask covering his face seemed worth of hitting his tosses just like he imagined.
Even if he received uninterested grunts every now and then, sometimes followed by comments about his form or work, Sakusa still made everything thrown his way work.
And as they parted ways for the first time it was casual, both of them knew this was gonna repeat itself next year because wanting or not the others capacity was only going to get better from now on.
It did, they did.
-
“Did ya miss me Omi-kun?”
His response was a muffled breath and a singular “On your dreams, Miya”.
Atsumu just let a hearty laugh at that, heading to his room but not before turning around and winking playfully at the grumpy spiker.
And it was at their last trainment together that he allowed his eyes to linger for the first time, watching precisely how Sakusas form always seemed impeccable or how he always averted his eyes from the team after a successful hit. When saying goodbye Atsumu also felt the need for more for the first time.
The moment he got home he headed straight to where Osamu was laying down.
“Samu I think i'm sick, like really sick, It's probably a heart disease im gonna die i'm so sure of it”
His brother was immediate on cutting his rambling as soon as the words settled in.
“The fuck ‘Tsumu at least breath before talking all of this shit”
“It's not SHIT ‘Samu!! My heart was beating so fast i could've sworn it was a heart attack.”
“Hm and is there a cause for that?”
“Well I was gonna say goodbye to Omi but i saw him…” smiling , a tiny little smile that made his heart beat like crazy ‘cause damn was it pretty. “Forget ‘bout it.”
It had nothing to do with that, sure he just needed to get checked up with a doctor or something.
Time passed like the wind and his heart palpitations had supposedly stopped, apparently he wasn't going to die. Training with the Jackals was good, he felt like floating every time someone hit his tosses with excellence, getting to play with a team as good as them made a lot of things fall into the right place.
But unfortunately some time later during tryouts season his heart disease came back, and the fault fell exclusively on the tall masked curly haired collegiate MVP that entered the gym.
Being on a team with Sakusa was as good as it could be, they bickered like pricks almost all the time but every single toss that Atsumu sent was hit with full force and perfection. And wanting or not they drew each other as close as possible, because the setter always made sure to be aware of his spiker dislikes, on and off court.
So maybe when Atsumus eyes moved sneakily to catch a glance at Sakusa across the table during a team dinner, like he did countless of other times, he was met for the first time with dark eyes and a raised eyebrow already peering his way and it made the little guy on his chest beat like crazy. He mustered the most charming smirk he was able to come up with, only to be met with an eye roll and a face turning away from his after some seconds.
Miya Atsumu was sure that Sakusa Kiyoomi was not good for his heart the first time the brunette decided to take a nap on the bus after an away game, there wouldn't be any problem about it but Kiyoomi decide to use the blondes shoulder as his pillow.
Do you see the problem now?
Atsumus eyes were wide open for the first moments and his body frozen like a rock, too afraid to move a muscle and awake the other who looked so at peace like that curled against his side.
Miya Atsumu was also sure that he could get used to his heart beating that fast if it meant that he would experience moments like this.
Even years later when he woke up tangled up on his sheets and his lover's arms it still felt a bit surreal having that at any given time he wanted.
Their bodies glowed under the sunlight that made its way through the curtains, given life to a pure moment that happened almost everyday. Atsumus lips found their place on Kiyoomis forehead, kissing the two pretty moles that adorned the skin, sweet mumbles of “good morning love” leaving his pale lips in between sweet kisses.
When the object of his affections stirred awake he was met with a soft smile and hazy eyes, they would never get bored of this, the slow kisses that were followed by genuine smiles and little laughs, fingers that slowly arrested patches of exposed skin.
“Hi”
“Morning sunshine”
Those sweet exchanges still made his heart beat faster, they always will and it brings him so much comfort. Knowing that he could love this man with his whole being.
“Hey Omi, happy anniversary”
“Happy Valentines Day ‘Tsumu”
Not only did Sakusa Kiyoomi make his heart beat faster, he made a permanent home on it and Atsumu couldn't be happier.