Work Text:
The planetarium is always such a nice place to be at night. It's one of the best rooms to be in, and if one can find an ounce of quiet in the House of Lamentation, this would be one of the perfect spots. The demons you live with are far too comfortable with barging into your room, so it isn't always ideal to stay there unless you are up for frequent visitors. After a long day of being dragged around town by Mammon and Asmodeus on an impromptu shopping spree (where Mammon almost stole your wallet twice and you barely persuaded Asmo not to buy you some very revealing outfits), you just want some time to yourself. It will take a while for anyone to find you here.
The planetarium's floor to ceiling windows give a lovely view of the night sky, and there is even a balcony, complete with a comfortable couch and a telescope. You choose to step onto the balcony to view the Devildom from above. It's a good place to get some reading or writing done, and with a good book in one hand and your journal in the other, you plan to do both.
You think back on the day you had. Despite the antics that you still hadn't become used to, you know you enjoyed the day as a whole. It has been a while since you did something like that with them. Everyone is probably a bit antsy about the fact that your year in the Devildom is coming to an end, and to be honest, you almost forget about it yourself.
A whole year in the blink of an eye, you think, wondering where the time went. The more you think about it, the longer you want to stay. There is nothing you can do about it though. Time won't stop for you, and it's probably better not to try anything like that with Barbatos' help, not that he would help you with something like that anyways. Thinking about returning to the human world after such a short time makes you feel a bit gloomy now. At least a gloomy mood and a dark sky above you makes for some good writing ideas.
You settle into the couch, mindlessly doodling in the journal and writing any phrases that come to mind. You become so buried in your thoughts that you don't notice the door to the planetarium moving, and almost jump out of your skin when you see Satan approaching you.
"Sorry, did I startle you?" He asks, smiling at your surprised face.
"Nope!" You say a little too quickly, and he hums in amusement.
"I suppose I'll take your word for it." You motion for him to sit next to you, and he does. "What brings you here this late?"
You're relieved that Satan is the one who finds you here. His company is the one you enjoy the most, and you've spent quite a few nights with him like this, discussing books you want to read or letting him teach you about amusing little curses that could be used as pranks, which you've definitely used a few times. You find yourself relaxing even more in his presence, despite coming here for solitude.
"I wanted peace and quiet, and I usually find it here." You sit up and close your journal. "And what about you?"
"I had the same idea as you, but I also wanted to do a bit of stargazing." He stares at the sky thoughtfully. "Humans have a phrase they say for coincidences like this, don't they? Something about brains, no?"
"Mm, brains? I don't think so," you say, trying to think of the phrase he wants to use. "Oh! Maybe you were trying to say, 'Great minds...'"
"'Think alike,'" he finishes. "That's the one."
"I mean, 'great brains' sounds cool though," you chuckle, and he shakes his head.
"Very funny."
"I know, thanks."
"I thought you'd be tired after the day you had, but you don't seem to be that way."
"Actually, my stamina for staying outside has definitely gotten better since coming here," you chuckle. "But you all have been really outgoing lately."
"That's because Lucifer said you'd be leaving soon," Satan replies, his voice growing softer.
"Yeah..." you sigh, flipping your journal over in your hands. "I can't say I haven't been thinking about it either. It's kind of why I've been letting everyone take me, well... all over the place."
"You could, of course, just stay here."
"Mm... I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome. But if the House of Lamentation would have me again, maybe then I could come back."
"I can definitely say, on behalf of all my brothers, that you will always be welcome here."
"Thanks, Sachan. That means a lot," you smile, using your nickname for him. "After all, the sooner I leave, the sooner we can think about another visit here. So think of it that way."
"It might work, for a time," he replies. "But I think that eventually, your absence would be felt strongly."
"Oh? If that's the case, then I haven't caused enough trouble here." You grin.
"Apparently not," he chuckles. "So, what did you work on?" He points towards the journal on your lap, and you look at it with a sad smile.
"I let myself think too much, so I put some thoughts in here. Nothing special, though. Ah," you try to change the subject. "I wonder if I should have made a list of things to do here before leaving. There's so much I haven't done, so much I didn't say..."
"What do you mean? Is there something you wanted to tell us?"
The question causes you to freeze. It's only for a second, but Satan is too observant, and he tilts his head upon seeing you pause. You hope he decides to believe what you say instead of your body language, even though the chances are slim.
"Uh, well... nothing big. Just words of thanks. Showing gratitude to each of you and remembering what each of you have taught me. That sort of thing."
"I see."
It doesn't sound like he does, you think to yourself, but nod at him anyway. I wouldn't believe myself either. But it was a good effort on my part.
"Well then," Satan continues, "Perhaps you should start talking."
"Wha- now?" You ask. "No, no."
"Oh?"
"No. It's for when I leave. I still have some time left here. Hey," you nudge his shoulder, "You're not trying to kick me out, are ya?"
"I wouldn't dream of it." He shakes his head. "I'm simply curious, that's all."
"You'll have to wait until the big day, just like everyone else."
"Well, that's no fun." He crosses his arms, and you could swear that he might start to pout. That would be a sight to see.
"Aw, come on. I already told you, it's just gratitude, how I feel, what I'm happy about, things like that."
"How you feel about what?"
"All of you." You shrug and look over the balcony. Of all the things he can ask about, it has to be the one thing you don't want to elaborate on. Your feelings for a certain demon. You know it will probably be pointless anyway, because there's no way something can happen. The two of you are literally from different worlds, but you can dream, right?
"That's vague," he says.
I wanted it to be, you think to yourself. You start playing with your fingers as you speak. "Just... don't read too much into it."
"Now you've piqued my interest."
You resist the urge to facepalm. Why did you have to say something like that? You already know that Satan likes to look for hidden meanings in, well, anything at all. But it's too late now. You'll have to elaborate sooner or later, and you know you're only prolonging the inevitable at this point.
"Well, un-pique it," you say without much thought.
Satan stares at you for a second before laughing loudly. It's really a welcome sight, as he's usually quite reserved, but you can't enjoy it as much as you'd like to right now.
"That's... that's not a word," he says in between laughs, and you can only place a hand over your mouth out of embarrassment.
"It is now..." you mumble through your fingers.
"How curious." Satan says once he's calm again, and regards your expression. "My interest remains the same."
"I bet..." you feel your face growing warm.
"Are you... flustered right now?" He asks.
"No," you say too quickly, and you can practically see the second he puts the pieces together.
"You said you'd talk about your feelings for us. Do you mean to say... that there is someone you like here?"
You can't bring yourself to answer, so instead you give him a look that will hopefully get the point across, which is to drop the subject.
"Well, I'll be," he murmurs, either missing the intention behind your look or ignoring it entirely, "That must be the truth, since you haven't said anything. Why haven't you brought it up?"
You sigh, staring out at the night sky like it could give you an answer. "Because of the rest of the brothers. There's seven of you, you know. And it's been made clear to me on several occasions that some of you might have feelings for me... if not all of you. I can't do that to the rest of them."
His trademark smile suddenly appears, the one that's positively fake, and you feel a type of emptiness in your chest. "Did you ever think that not making a choice is still a choice in itself?"
"Sachan..." you sigh, watching as he stands up again. The warmth next to you is gone now.
"That's alright. I shouldn't have asked when I already knew the answer."
"Sachan, that's not what I meant."
He stopped then, turning back. The moon only makes his features more striking, and you can't look away.
"So, despite having feelings for someone, you do that to all of us?"
"Do what?"
"You treat all of us the same way, hmm?"
"I do."
His eyes narrow. "Is that so?"
"Yes." Your face is blank, and purposefully so. There is no way you can admit to any type of favoritism or say that one of them feels closer to you than the rest... can you?
Satan is silent for a moment while he analyzes your face. "You've gotten even better at lying."
Your heart beats faster, but the only response on the outside is you raising an eyebrow. "...What's that supposed to mean, then?"
"You've got a better poker face. Your body language is still tense, but less than when you first arrived here. You can even spot lies from others better than before."
You feel your face growing warm, because that's exactly what you have been working on in order to protect yourself from the other demons in the Devildom, but you never realize that he watches you so often.
"You... noticed all of that?" You asked.
"There is not a single thing I don't notice about you, darling."
His honesty makes it hard to breathe for a second, because he really has a way with words and you fall for it every time. There is nothing you can do but blink helplessly at him, struggling to find something to say. Satan knows this. He chuckles at your silence- what a lovely sound it is- and continues speaking.
"There are plenty of things I can sense besides wrath, you know. Fear, regret, lies. I even learned some from you."
"From me?"
"Yes, I have."
"What have you learned from me?"
Satan is quiet again. His cheeks turn pink while he thinks of what to say next.
"Warmth," he starts, frowning while his ears gradually turn pink as well. That's one of your favorite expressions of his. "Happiness. Sincerity. Peace."
He crosses his arms while you look at him, surprised at the confession.
"Please don't look at me like that." He mumbles, but you hear him all the same.
"I'm glad that's what you learned from me," you say, smiling at him gently. It's amazing how he can say exactly what he thinks about you without so much as flinching, but becomes flustered when you try to do the same for him -which is rare since you aren't the best with feelings- or when he tries talking about these "strange, fuzzy emotions" he claims to have developed since your arrival.
He sighs, drawing his eyebrows together and looking more like a sad puppy rather than the cautious kitten that he always acts like. It would be very cute, if he didn't seem a bit agitated.
"What is it?" You whisper, almost afraid of what he might say next. He is certainly acting weird tonight, and you seem to be making everything worse with each word you say.
Satan sits next to you again, and you hold your breath in suspense.
"I need you... to be honest with me. Please?" He asks. You resist the urge to hold his face and smooth out his eyebrows with your thumbs, and nod silently instead.
"So you'll spend time with all of us."
"Of course."
"Do the things we like together."
"Yes."
"Give hugs... to everyone."
"Yes..." Where exactly was he going with this?
"And give us all nicknames."
"If I've found good ones, then yes."
"Talk to any of us in the middle of the night."
"That depends on who's up."
That must have been somewhat of a not so good answer, and you can feel it as soon as it leaves your mouth. Satan looks away, and when his eyes meet yours again, they are a bit brighter than before for a split second. You would have missed it if you blinked. Maybe a hint of wrath, or something else.
"Talk to any of us for the entire night?"
"If I don't fall asleep," you smile, but he doesn't return the gesture, and then you finally understand why he's asking questions like this. It's odd that he won't say what he wants from you, but perhaps this is more for his benefit than yours, to verify something he might suspect is true. 'Let's see if he asks the right questions then,' you think to yourself, but something tells you that Satan is saying these things in a purposeful order. He is too good at getting information from others, using nothing but words as his tools - at least, when he isn't angry.
"Share your deeper thoughts with us," he continues.
"Not all of you... no." There was a time and a place, and some of them can relate to you better than the others.
"Exchange books."
"No." It didn't feel like the right time to mention the manga you borrow from Leviathan, or the books about demons from Lucifer. You know he means your favorite books, the ones that would keep you reading throughout the night. The ones from your childhood and the ones you love now, that you would lend to him even though you are protective of your books. The ones that he takes his time to choose for you, based on what you've told him, from the impressive library that is his room. Especially those books.
"Talk about your work." He traces the design on your journal idly, giving himself something to focus on. The journal is still in your hands as he does this, and you wish it was gone in that moment, so that he might trace patterns along your hands instead.
"No way," you say a bit too defensively, both caught off guard by your own thoughts and horrified at sharing your ideas with just anyone. If your mind could only shut itself off, then you wouldn't feel as flustered as you do now.
His fingers slow their movement on the journal, and he looks at you again. 'Were his eyelashes always that long?' You wonder, but your mind finally shuts off when he speaks again.
"You talk about it with me, sometimes..." he trails off, and you break eye contact first, before you combust on the spot. Your initial idea is correct. It takes you too much time to realize that he is trying to confirm something he might already know. Have you really been that obvious? You hope not.
"Yes, I do," you breathe, not quite trusting yourself to say anything else.
"And does that mean anything to you?"
"It does."
Satan says nothing, only sparing a quick glance at you before looking at the cover of your journal again. You know he wants you to keep talking. One of your more 'mysterious characteristics,' as he likes to put it, is never fully revealing what is on your mind.
"It's something I don't usually do because I'd get embarrassed at letting someone read what I write. If I let someone else see what I wrote, then... I must really value their insights and opinions."
"What did you write about?" He asks again, softer this time. You sigh. "Perhaps once was enough. My apologies."
"Time," you say, shutting your eyes.
"Time?"
"Mmhmm. The short and infinite expanse of time. A shapeshifter, where a life takes place in mere seconds, and when a blip on the timeline holds endless possibilities."
"A shapeshifter," Satan hums, nodding thoughtfully. "You've an eye for symbolism. That's a nice interpretation."
Your smile lasts only for a second. "I thought about my time here. I could live my entire life and be long gone afterwards, and I would be a small point in time for an immortal demon. I would be insignificant after a little bit."
"So this has been worrying you more than I thought. One bit of advice?"
"Please do," you sigh.
"Let the immortals define your significance to them, and don't discard your significance to yourself either," he smiles. "Some of the best things are short lived, darling."
You smile at that. What a Satan answer. "Besides, I have a feeling the immortals in question would never forget you or your significance. It's simply impossible."
"The same goes for you." You open the journal and quickly jot down a line.
"Oh? Did I help you with a spark of inspiration, perhaps?" Satan asks, eyes following the movement of your hand.
"You did, indeed." You angle the journal so he can read the line on the page.
"'Loves linger on lips for lifetimes...' How lovely," he says, with a half smile more genuine than the complete ones he usually wears. "Although, I can't say I'm terribly familiar with the concept."
"It's not a concept, silly. It's a feeling." You poke his shoulder gently. "Surely you understand that."
"That would be your doing. It's just as I said: I can sense more things thanks to your influence. And that... can last indefinitely."
"So would you remember me for a long time, then?"
Satan gives you an unreadable look, but he fidgets with the sweater draped over his shoulder. "I would hope you know the answer to that. Actually, I'd... like to hear that from you."
You set your journal down and look back at the horizon. The Devildom is always dark, but you never get tired of staring at the buildings below. It reminds you of the cities you'd seen back home.
"I would." You say, and he smiles again. "Although, I hope you would have known that already."
"I'm simply checking. You can be hard to read sometimes."
You gasp, placing a hand on your chest. "What's this? The resident bookworm himself, having difficulty with reading?"
"It's not the same, and you know it," Satan grins, and you wish you could take a picture. "I always wish that you'd tell me more about yourself." His voice grows softer. "Things that you wouldn't tell anyone else."
"I tell you a lot of things," you mumble through your fingers. You can feel your face growing warm again. "And some of those things... I like to keep to myself. So you must be pretty special."
"Pretty special..." he trails off, and suddenly he's close, close enough for you to see the yellow in his eyes. It's certainly welcome, but he still hasn't said what he wants, exactly.
"Uh... Sachan?" You question, trying very hard not to stare at his lips. "What is it? You seem more... sentimental today."
"You distract me," he declares, moving a piece of hair out of your face. "If you don't make a choice, I might go crazy simply from not knowing a thing."
You're unable to speak again; his proximity, you come to realize, is sending your heart into a frenzy. And yet, you can't move back.
"Oh... that's interesting," He mumbles, and you blink in confusion. "It's that calm feeling again, just like the time we became angels for a bit. But this time... it's actually comfortable."
"Well... that-that's good," you say, once you realize your vocal cords work again.
"I can't feel much wrath right now. Usually, it's just under the surface, itching to burst out." He looks at his hands. "But now... the storm is at ease."
You can't help but smile. You know it must be difficult for him to keep his anger at bay. He restrains himself the most when it comes to his sin, and it certainly must take endless practice not to give in.
"Do you sense that?" Satan asks, and then he gives you a fond look that makes you melt inside. "This is what you do to me."
"I... I didn't do anything," you reply, hardly registering when you take his hands. He'd shown you how to sense the energy demons give off, to distinguish between different types of powers. You would sit with him, and he'd let you hold his hand while you would close your eyes and try to feel the energy in the air. Even though he is brimming with wrath, you only ever feel something strong and lively, not dangerous.
"It feels... safe and warm," you say with a decisive grin, and he blushes.
"Whatever happens, I want you to know that you are the reason for this. You showed me how to feel other emotions. A change for a lifetime. Or several, right?" He says, and you both laugh.
"Thank you," you say, sighing while you look at the sky again. "Maybe I am worrying too much."
"If you're so concerned about a short lifespan, I think you should do something about it."
It's then that you remember that you two are still holding hands, still very close to each other. Neither of you let go, either.
"Do something about it? What do you..." you trail off as the meaning of his words sink in. Your eyes widen in understanding.
He wants you to choose. At least, for this particular blip in time, where endless possibilities lie in wait.
"You are either completely unaware of the effects of your actions, or quite the devious mastermind." Satan chuckles at your silence. "I can feel your heart beating, and quite rapidly at that."
The air is silent, and all you can see is him in front of you. It is quite hypnotizing, to be the only two out here, and you with the one that holds a special place in your heart.
"So... all of you can do that?" You mumble to him absentmindedly, and his eyes narrow just a bit.
"We're not talking about them right now," he replies, and you try your best not to swoon at his tone. His voice drops to a whisper. "Forget the time, or how short life can be for you. Tell me. What do you plan to do about it now?"
"I don't... I..." you stop, at a loss for words. Without warning, your eyes shift to his lips, and his eyes darken. You're in trouble. You couldn't escape even if you wanted to. But of course, that's the last thing you want right now.
"As tempting as this is, I won't do anything unless you say so." His hand brushes your cheek.
Simply perfect, you think to yourself, and gather the courage to say what you want.
"Do it, then." And his lips are on yours.
Your hands drop his and travel to his shoulders. Satan holds you so gently, you briefly forget that he's capable of endless destruction, or embodies the purest form of wrath. He's the one who cares about his brothers, the one that befriends cats, the one who reads to you when you can't sleep. He is more than his sin, and you cherish him for that.
The two of you stay like this for a time, seconds seeming much longer than usual, and yet you part from him all too soon. Your eyes flutter open after a second, but Satan's remain shut. You chuckle while holding his face. It's almost impossible to hide your feelings anymore.
"Hey, you," you murmur, thumbs squishing his cheeks on purpose, "You can open your eyes now."
His eyes are wide open now, complete with a blush and subsequent frown, and you chuckle again at his expression.
"What?"
"You never fail to find the opportunity to tease me, do you?" He grumbles, but his hands cover yours, which are still on his face. "Always the sneaky one."
"Look who I'm dealing with. I learned from the best," you grin.
"That was too short," Satan sighs, and you freeze up again. "I guess there was some truth when you said time can be too short. I've only felt that a handful of times." Just how does he go from embarrassed to blunt in such a short amount of time? you wonder. It's not very good for your heart, which is still trying to jump out of your chest from the kiss. He's had that effect on you for quite a while, it seems.
Your arms go slack from the surprise, but now he's keeping your hands firmly on his face. You briefly wonder when he became so bold, or if you were just noticing this side of him now.
"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" Satan says with a smile, and you can only blink at him.
Over the course of your time in the Devildom, you've become more or less capable of deciphering the types of smiles that Satan wears like the clothes on his back. An annoyed smile, much like the one he gave you earlier, with closed eyes. A genuine smile, usually after laughter, where laugh lines are actually present and were a surefire sign of happiness. A polite one, which is his default, with seemingly friendly eyes and a mellow tone of voice. An angry smile, where anyone can simply feel the wrath radiating from him just seconds before all hell breaks loose.
This smile is not like the others.
It is very rare, only revealing itself when he seems to gain a great deal of satisfaction from something. You'll see it after he comes up with the next perfect curse to place on Lucifer, or while he thinks of various torture methods to try out, or when he beats someone in a game of chess. That's what he looks like right now.
"You... you're enjoying this... aren't you?" You manage to ask.
"Immensely," he whispers, and it makes you shiver. "You're usually so unfazed, especially when you get into trouble. I'd hope you keep these expressions for my eyes only."
"You'll have to do better than that," you say, not to be outdone by him, "If you want me to stay flustered for long." And with that, you quickly press your lips to his before pulling away. Something longer than that would have made you lose your nerve, but you really want to catch him off guard right now.
It seems to have worked, because Satan is blushing again. "...I'll certainly have to keep an eye on you." He finally says, blinking at you rapidly.
"Have fun with that," you reply, pleased with yourself.
The two of you stare at the skyline for a minute, processing what just happened. A thought occurs to you in that moment.
"Hey, Sachan?"
"Mmhmm?" He turns to you with a smile, one that is genuine, and it somehow makes you nervous to ask him your question.
"How did you know? Was I... that obvious?" It takes him a second to understand before he replies. "No, not at first. It was difficult to read your mind, let alone your heart. But... let's just say that you don't necessarily need to hold a demon's hand to feel their energy. That's not exactly safe, you know."
"Well, I know that," you laugh, "But didn't you say it was better that way?"
"I won't deny that. But, really, whose idea was it?"
This causes you to stop and think, and the answer soon comes to you. "O-oh. It was mine..." You look away, and now it's Satan's turn to laugh. That wasn't embarrassing at all, you think to yourself.
"And whenever you held my hands, it was much easier to feel your pulse, which was always quite rapid." He pokes your wrist. "I thought it would be out of fear, but I didn't sense that at all."
"Oh. Geez..." So keeping a poker face at all times does nothing. Why did you think that would work anyway? Not to mention, anything he feels from you is probably amplified due to the pact.
"I decided to humor you," he replies, "Although, I had no idea what prompted you to propose such an idea in the first place. You were never as afraid of us as you should have been. Perhaps you were simply curious. It can be quite endearing though."
"Thanks, I guess," you mumble through your fingers, and only hear Satan's laughter in response.
"As much as I'd like to stay with you," he says after a pause, "It might be best to avoid any situations that could occur if my brothers find us here in the morning."
"I know," you grumble, and Satan brings his hands to your face. "But I... I enjoyed this." He kisses your forehead while you close your eyes and try to savor it.
"Mm, I'm sure you did," he murmurs against your hairline, where you can feel the vibrations of his voice, "And I certainly did as well."
You feel yourself getting warm again. At least he spared you the trouble of asking him how he feels about this. "Good night," you whisper when he pulls away.
"Good morning, my darling," he replies, "Because it's quite early in the day now."
"Good morning, then." With one last smile- a bit more cryptic in nature- he disappears through the doors, and you are left alone in a matter of seconds. For a few seconds, you think of nothing else except for the feeling of his lips on yours, and think of the line you wrote. You certainly hope that Satan remembers this moment for several lifetimes.
You find yourself simply counting the hours until you can see him again.