Chapter Text
It had started six months ago.
Hoseok had called him, his voice filled with sadness and tears. “Namjoon, why didn’t you call me?”
“Call you? Why?”
“You always act so strong,” Hoseok sniffled. “I’ll be right over, okay? I’ll bring some ice cream and we can binge-watch all of the new Cosmos again.” With that, Hoseok had hung up. Namjoon was confused but figured Hoseok had remembered some odd anniversary and it had slipped Namjoon’s mind. Hoseok had, just two weeks ago, taken him to a museum on a ‘friend-date’ to celebrate their six-year anniversary of meeting. A date that, had Hoseok not remembered it, Namjoon would have forgotten six years ago.
Namjoon goes back to the rhythm game he’d been playing when Hoseok had called, ignoring the string of texts his smartwatch was telling him about. The group chat must be active again, Namjoon thought. He had only just completed his final daily mission when his apartment door burst open and Hoseok came through, two grocery bags in his arms and his face puffy and red. Namjoon tosses his phone onto the couch and moves to help Hoseok with the groceries, but Hoseok tosses them to the side and wraps his arms around Namjoon, squeezing tightly.
“Why are you crying?”
“Why aren’t you crying? It’s just me, Namjoon. You know you can cry with me.” Hoseok squeezes him tighter, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Jungkookie and Taehyung will be over once they’re off work and we can all cuddle you.”
“Why do I need cuddling?” Namjoon chuckles. “I mean, I won’t say no but Jimin will be over later and I -”
“He’s coming here?” Hoseok shrieks angrily, pulling away from Namjoon. “Why? Fuck him,” Hoseok yells in anger, grabbing the bags off the floor and stomping into the kitchen.
“Wait,” Namjoon replies awkwardly. “Why are you mad at Jimin?” Hoseok groans, his body shuttering with irritation. He slams his fist on the counter in a rare show of anger. The movement startles Namjoon, who immediately stops in his tracks. “Hobi?”
“How are you so fucking calm about this, Namjoon? You sacrificed so much for Jimin and for him to just dump you out of the blue like this? It’s fucking horrible! I can’t believe you’re so calm! You were just telling me a few nights ago about how you want to marry him someday and then he just fucking up and leaves you? How are you not more upset about this? How are you not sobbing? How are you so cool with letting him come over after what he said about you online?”
Namjoon is pretty sure that if you looked inside his head, his brain would be a watermelon snow cone.
Did Hoseok just say that Jimin dumped him?
His boyfriend, Jimin?
Park Jimin? The man he’s been dating for almost two years?
“What?” Namjoon croaks out, his voice resembling the sound a frog makes in the middle of a swamp. “Jimin didn’t...he’s not...Hoseok, that’s not funny.” Namjoon lowers a glare pointed directly at his best friend’s face. “I’m not sure what sort of stupid game you’re playing, but knock it off.”
“Namjoon,” Hoseok chuckles angrily. “You can’t lie to me about this. It’s all over Facebook!”
“It’s what?”
Hoseok, still thinking Namjoon is being an idiot on purpose, pulls out his phone faster than Quicksilver saves Hawkeye and flips through his apps for a moment before finding what he’s looking for.
What he pushes into Namjoon’s face is entirely unexpected, despite the fact that Hoseok just said it all out loud.
Namjoon just stares at the Facebook post, his jaw-dropping. What is he looking at? That photo...he took that! Just last month. Jimin had wanted to get out of the city so Namjoon had taken a few days off work and they’d gone camping. It had been a warm seventy-five all weekend and they’d spent their time together making love, reading books, and making smores. That’s the moment when Namjoon realized that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jimin.
And yet...somehow, Jimin had come back to Seoul with the opposite idea in his head.
Single?
Namjoon pulls out his phone and checks his messages with Jimin.
He reads over the last few messages and gawks. There’s nothing there to indicate a breakup, no matter which way you read them.
“This can’t be happening,” Namjoon gasps. He checks his missed calls and finds nothing from Jimin, but a few from a plethora of friends. Snapchat shows no new notifications from Jimin either. In fact, none of his social media has alerted him of anything from Park Jimin during the entire course of the day. It’s only then that he realizes that that in itself is off. He and Jimin send each other at least four Snaps a day and today? Well, their streak of 612 days is gone and Namjoon knows he sent two this morning. Then it dawns on him. He checks Facebook. Blocked. Twitter? Blocked. Instagram? Blocked! He can hear himself start to breathe heavier and faster as everything slams into him at once. The weight of it all knocks him to the floor, but luckily Hoseok is there.
“Oh baby,” Hoseok whispers. “You didn’t know? What sort of fucking jackass is he? I’m so sorry, baby. I thought - oh my god, Namjoonie I’m so sorry.” Namjoon’s eyes well with tears while he sends Jimin a series of texts.
Namjoon
What is going on on Facebook?
Jimin?
You blocked me on all social media and I’m just confused?
You’re really going to leave it like this? Dump me on Facebook but after I’ve been blocked so I can’t see?
Wow. And I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.
Hoseok gently pulls his phone from his hands as the dam breaks and Namjoon starts to sob. He’s not sure how long he’s sitting there, on the floor, but at some point, more arms wrap around him and it only makes him cry harder. His face is wet with tears and snot, but his best friends don’t care. They help him up and carry him to his bed. They wrap him in blankets and curl their bodies around him until he feels a shred of comfort and the tears finally stop coming.
“You hungry?” A low voice asks from behind him. There are three hands rubbing his back, one rubbing his left arm, and two holding his hands. Namjoon nods and two of the hands leave. He watches Taehyung leave his room quickly and looks around. Jungkook and Hoseok are there, wrapped up in each other as much as they’re wrapped up with Namjoon. When Taehyung returns a few minutes later, he’s got a bowl of soup and a glass of water with him.
Namjoon only takes a few spoonfuls of soup but he drinks the entire glass of water quickly before slumping back against his friends.
“Thank you,” he tells them. They all murmur in his ear, but he doesn’t register what they say, instead, his body finally falling asleep.
Two weeks later, he literally slams into an old friend.
Old friend. Current enemy. It’s complicated.
“Fuck,” the gruff voice barks as their ass hits the ground. “Watch where you’re fucking going.”
“Sorry,” an exhausted Namjoon mutters as he stands up, embarrassed. He’d been looking at his phone. Looking at Jimin’s new Instagram post. Apparently, he’s already moved on from Namjoon and Namjoon isn’t sure how to take it. “I wasn’t looking where I was - oh. Yoongi.”
“Ugh,” comes Yoongi’s response, his eyes rolling at Namjoon.
“I really am sorry.”
“Sure you are,” Yoongi spits back, grabbing his black notebook from where it had fallen in the grass. “Just like you’re sorry you stole my boyfriend.”
“I didn’t steal him,” Namjoon sighs, his brain too fried to be angry. “You guys were broken up.”
“For a month, Namjoon. But it doesn’t matter, does it? You didn’t care that I still loved him, just like he doesn’t care about any of the men he leaves behind. You included.”
Namjoon had been expecting some sort of insult, but this one stung. His eyes welled up with tears as he clamped his mouth shut and pushed past Yoongi. “Fuck off,” he grumbled just loud enough for Yoongi to hear it. He hears a quiet chuckle from Yoongi but is through the school doors before he can hear whatever witty, mean response Yoongi comes up with.
He can still remember when Yoongi was his best friend, all those years ago. It had been Jimin who destroyed their friendship and while Namjoon had missed Yoongi a lot over the last two years, he’d always been under the impression that Yoongi was being sensitive. He can still remember the last thing Yoongi told him before they didn’t talk again until today.
“He’ll break you just like he broke me, Namjoon, and I won’t be there to pick up the pieces and put you back together. You’re the Bertolt to my Eren and I will never forgive you.”
Namjoon had almost laughed at how dramatic Yoongi had been and had assumed that, given time, Yoongi would calm down and accept Namjoon’s many apologies. But that time never came. Namjoon didn’t even understand the reference until a few months later when Jungkook bought him the complete manga set for Attack on Titan as his “you’re halfway through college” present.
Yoongi had seen Namjoon dating Jimin as the ultimate anime betrayal and not in a meme sort of way.
Namjoon shakes his thoughts of Yoongi from his head as he heads to class. He’s almost done with school. Just another month of studying and then final exams and then he’s finished. He’s ready to be done. Ready to move on and leave this part of his life behind. He’s filling out applications over the weekend for jobs all across the world and hopes to land one far away from here. Hoseok had mentioned it.
“Maybe you need a break from Seoul.”
Maybe he could get a job in France or America and live there for a few years. Forget about the pain Seoul brought him and start fresh. All Seoul had done for Namjoon made him lose his best friend and the man he loved.
And by Seoul, he means himself. He’s the only one to blame for the loss of Yoongi and Jimin, even if he’s not sure how he lost Jimin.
Namjoon continues through his days on autopilot. After running into Yoongi, he sees him everywhere. Namjoon couldn’t recall seeing him on campus much before they ran into each other, but now it seems like Yoongi is everywhere. He’s always out on the quad, talking with other students or professors. When Namjoon goes into the cafeteria to grab a snack, he sees Yoongi at a table with a younger student. When Namjoon heads into the school coffee shop, Yoongi is squeezed into a bench with three other people and they’re all laughing.
Namjoon can’t help but wonder if Yoongi came back to school for another degree. It’d be just like him to decide two majors wasn’t enough and that he needed a third. But Namjoon is too afraid to ask him, too nervous to approach him after their heated argument.
Not that it matters much. They’re not friends anymore.
Then, exactly seventy-three days after Jimin had dumped him on social media, Namjoon sees Jimin again.
Namjoon is at the grocery store, trying to remember which type of apple is his favorite. Jimin loves Granny Smiths so Namjoon had always bought those, but now he didn’t have to worry about Jimin, and yet, he was having a hard time remembering what he liked.
He’d heard Jimin’s laugh and, for a moment, thought he was hallucinating.
Until he looked up.
There was Jimin. Shining like the sun, a smile spread across his face, fingers intertwined with the hand of a man Namjoon had never seen before.
A man.
Were they dating?
That was a different man from Jimin’s Instagram posts. He was tall and handsome, of course, and Jimin seemed to gravitate towards him like a moon clinging to a planet’s gravitational pull.
Jimin used to cling to me like that, Namjoon can’t help but think.
A second later, another person is next to him. Their hand reaches out and grabs a few apples right in Namjoon’s line of sight. It startles Namjoon and he looks over to see who is standing so close to him.
Yoongi.
“They look close,” Yoongi mumbles quietly.
“Where the fuck did you come from?”
“The cereal aisle. Saw you standing over here looking spaced out like a fucking idiot and was going to bully you but then I saw why you’re looking so dumb and didn’t feel like I needed to bully you anymore. I know that look. I wore that look for a long time.”
“I just - it’ll stop hurting, right?”
“We’re all different,” Yoongi shrugs, putting his three apples in a clear bag and tying the top. “I hurt for a long time.”
“I’m sorry,” Namjoon mumbles, his hands finally just grabbing a few random red apples and putting them into his bag. “I’m so sorry, Yoongi. I didn’t - I shouldn’t have -”
“Namjoon? Yoongi?” A quiet voice from a few feet away asks. Namjoon knows that voice. Namjoon is in love with that voice.
He looks up with a fake smile. A smile he knows Jimin will see right through. Except Jimin isn’t smiling back. He’s...glaring?
“It’s been a long time,” Yoongi replies to Jimin with a smile. “How have you been?”
“Good. Are you two...friends now?” Jimin asks, his eyes darting between them.
“You could say that,” Namjoon replies without thinking.
“Oh?”
“I heard about the breakup,” Yoongi adds and Namjoon wonders if they’re on the same page. “Figured I’d reach out to Joonie since I understand exactly what he’s going through. Being dumped by the man you love on social media without any warning fucking sucks.”
“And now you’re just...hanging out together?”
“Just like old times,” Namjoon says. Jimin’s eyes flit between their hands and Namjoon realizes (at the same time as Yoongi) that they’re hands are inches away from each other. Namjoon’s hand twitches with the want to hold Yoongi’s, just to see how Jimin will react. Yoongi seems to have the same idea because a second later, Namjoon feels Yoongi’s hand clasp his.
“Nice to see you, Jimin, but we’ve got plans and I promised I’d make him my moms special kimchi tonight.” Yoongi gently tugs on Namjoon’s hand and Namjoon gets the hint. He flashes Jimin a quick smile before allowing Yoongi to pull him off somewhere. They walk, hand in hand, a few feet away before turning into a different aisle. The moment Jimin is no longer in sight, Yoongi pulls his hand away from Namjoon.
“Fuck,” Yoongi grumbles, voice barely above a whisper.
“Thanks for saving my ass back there.”
“No problem. He’s an asshole for trying to talk to you.”
“I don’t think he was trying to be an asshole. He just -”
“Namjoon, look. I know you still think of Jimin as this perfect angel in your head but be honest with yourself. Just two months ago he dumped you on Facebook. He didn’t call you or text you or do it face-to-face, like a kind person. He did it on Facebook. Gays don’t even use Facebook anymore! Facebook is just where you add your family so they can feel like they’re a part of your life while you share cat memes and stupid astrology quizzes. He dumped me by ‘accidentally’ sending a text to our group chat saying he needs some time apart because I’m ‘suffocating’ him. He embarrassed us. On purpose.” Yoongi grabs a box from the shelf in front of him and tosses it into his basket. “You’re a good person, Namjoon. So am I. We don’t deserve being treated as if we’re trash. Jimin has a lot of things he needs to work through,” Yoongi continues on, spinning around and facing Namjoon, “and eventually he’s going to realize he can’t continue through life treating people the way he does. But until then, we need to do our best to heal and move forward. I’m sorry for being such an asshole to you. I really am. I hurt for a long time after Jimin dumped me. You know what our last conversation was? The night before he said I was suffocating him? I asked him his ring size. He then sent me fifteen photos of engagement rings that he loved and said I could pick between any of them.”
“Wow,” Namjoon says.
“I was blindsided, just like you. I was heartbroken, just like you. I blamed myself, just like you’re doing. Hell, I even blamed you. I convinced myself that you somehow stole him from me. I felt like that for a long time, Namjoon, but eventually I realized that Jimin isn’t someone who wants to be tied down. He’s scared of commitment, it just takes him a long time to realize it. And instead of communicating like a fucking adult, he embarrasses the people he’s with in an attempt to shift the blame onto them.”
“Wow,” Namjoon repeats, his mind blank. “That’s...a lot.”
“I see a therapist twice a month. She’s got a lot of opinions about Park Jimin,” Yoongi chuckles. It’s then that Namjoon’s phone buzzes.
Jiminie
So are you and Yoongi dating now or?
I thought you loved me?
Fucking my ex is really low, Joonie.
Namjoon groans and shows Yoongi his texts. Yoongi just laughs. “Pathetic,” he replies with an irritated tone. “Tell him we’re dating.”
“What?” Namjoon almost yells, his body halting in the middle of the aisle.
“Calm down, you giant fucking himbo. Just text him back and tell him it’s none of his business - you know what? Give me your phone.” Namjoon hands his phone over silently and watches Yoongi’s fingers move quickly over his phone. Yoongi smirks as he hands Namjoon’s phone back. “Done.”
Namjoon
Does it matter who I date? We’re not together anymore, Jimin. Do you know how manipulating it is for you to pretend as if me moving on has anything to do with how much I loved you? You don’t talk about proposing to someone you don’t love. Yoongi and I used to be best friends and now we’ve bonded over the same Jimin trauma. He was my best friend before he was your ex, you ass.
It’s nice to see that you’re allowed to move on but I’m not.
Manipulative asshole.
“That’s kind of harsh,” Namjoon sighs as he reads the texts.
Yoongi just shrugs in response before asking “want to come over for dinner tonight? I’ll make you dinner and you can post it online. I know for a fact he’s lurking. Make this fake dating seem legit.”
“I don’t know,” Namjoon admits warily. “Isn’t that just as manipulative?”
“Maybe,” Yoongi shrugs. “But we used to be best friends and maybe since I don’t hate you anymore, you’ll let me apologize for being a dramatic piece of shit and we can rebuild what we used to have?”
“Now that I can get behind,” Namjoon replies with a beaming smile.
He’d never admit it, but he’s missed Yoongi fiercely.
“Great. Still like soju?”