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Reiner Braun hadn’t expected to ever see Annie Leonhart again, and when he did, he wanted to cry. There she was, standing before him, encased in impenetrable crystal. There they were, together, on an island they were sent to torment, to betray and ultimately destroy.
He’s aware that he has grown since Annie last saw him. He must look like a stranger to her. To Reiner, Annie looks like a forgotten memory, hazy with age but becoming clearer the more it's dwelled on. As he watches her, thawing and coming to life, he begins to see her as the young girl he shared a lifetime of memories with. When the crystal melts, with Eren someplace, somewhere, causing havoc to the world, Reiner cannot think about the present.
All he can see is their past.
___
When they were young, helpless Warriors-to-be, Reiner remembers peeking over at Annie when he whispered his brash thoughts about Porco and Marcel to Bertholdt. She didn’t spare a glance at them. She always had a very uncaring persona to her and avoided most conversations with the rest of the group. Still, Annie acted like the child she was at times, stomping in the dirt and tugging at grass as Zeke spewed bullshit about Reiner’s tardiness in front of everyone. She would look at her reflection in the glass windows on sunny days and tuck her hair behind her ear or grumble at Pieck if she played with her hair, making lousy attempts at braiding it or letting it down as a breeze blew in between them.
He remembers Annie chastising him and Bert after a blown attempt at finding any information about the king of the walls in the middle of the night. She had called them slackers, good-for-nothings, in her rage. She pointed fingers at them in hostility before, ultimately, dropping everything in resignation and sitting herself next to Bertholdt, leaning into his side as the three of them gazed up at the familiar sky.
He remembers nights in which Eren and Jean would stumble over tables in fury, grabbing at each other's shirts with fists in the air. Onlookers would cheer at their rambunctiousness. Anyone who wanted to finish eating their dinner would have to move away from the duo as they squabbled over nothing. Marco would whine to Jean about punishments for fighting again as Armin sends a look at Mikasa, eyes pleading for her to drag Eren away from the fight.
Annie would slip away on nights like these. Sometimes, Bert would go with her, and other times she'd find herself on her own.
That's when the young, little girl from Marley, would find herself crying. Salty, undeserved tears trail down her round cheeks and blip onto her shirt. She hiccups and wipes them away but they keep coming.
But who is she to cry? To mourn? To sob out of self-pity and worthlessness?
It's all their fault. It's her fault. She has become what she is, all so she could go home to her father. So Reiner and Bertholdt and Marcel, God, Marcel, could go home.
But Marcel is gone, and Reiner has changed and Bertholdt is unwavering. Marcel had once claimed that Reiner had an unyielding, almost sick, devotion to Marley. That he spoke strongly of his dedication, almost scarily so. But when Annie looks at Bertholdt, and sees something alike pure, unmistakable desire glint in his eyes, she does not mention it. Ever.
Her tears flow freely. She wants to go home. She wants to get away from this island.
These people don't deserve what's coming to them. They don’t deserve what has already happened to them in the past. Annie pities them, she pities herself. God, does she pity herself.
She covers her mouth when an ugly sob curls its way through her throat. Her body shivers and she feels sick, tense. She's revolted and disgusted, why is this happening. Please, God, why.
Reiner remembers the way she shook. The way her little body curled over itself. He could hear heavy breathing and sniffling as her nose clogged from the crying, but he didn't know how to help her. He was different. He had become someone else when they arrived and he felt like an outsider among outsiders. But he was sympathetic. He had to be. There wasn't a way he couldn't be. Nights like this were when Reiner Braun would hook his arm over Annie Leonhart’s shoulders and young, Bertholdt Hoover would sit on either side of them, letting them crumble into his embrace. The three of them would bathe in the soft moonlight, bodies chilling and shivering from the cool air, and they would sit and gaze up at a familiar sky.
They would sit together, far from the people whom they willingly betray, from the people they may have to kill. All to get themselves back home. They knew, however, of their gruesome fates. There isn’t a possibility of a happy ending no matter which angle you look at it. Their lives were a shared tragedy, twisted with torment. As they sit together, they’re reminded of their disparities. Reiner was different from Annie and Bertholdt. Just as Bertholdt was different from him and Annie, and Annie was different from them.
But they would cry just the same. Reiner's hulking, young, body huddled to Annie's tiny frame, and Bertholdt’s lithe side. And they would shake with her. Together, they mourn their past, their present, and future.
Bertholdt is gone. He left this world when Reiner ultimately failed their mission. Annie knows this. Armin Arlet had come to her whenever he could to recount his day. To spill whatever information they had learned about Marley, about Paradis. Armin told her his feelings, the pain he felt. His grief and regret for stealing their friend away from them. He spoke of Bertholdt’s memories, ones he’s forced to relive in his dreams, the ones that come up in the middle of meetings and briefings, in the middle of lazing about with Sasha or Connie. He has to hide himself away, when he remembers conversations between Bert and Annie, or lonely moments where Bertholdt cried himself to sleep in the middle of the night.
Armin spoke about Reiner. What Eren had said about him in his letters. He rephrased the words Eren used, knowing that he was being purposefully harsh and uncaring in his criticisms and notes about the Warrior.
Annie always listened. That's all she could do.
Until it's not.
___
She now looks at Reiner. a man whom she no longer recognizes. He looks like the man Armin had described. Broody, extremely so. Older, much, much older. Annie recalls that he doesn't have much time left. The reminder pains her as she stares up at him. His face is lined with age, his cheeks are hollow and pale. He stands tall but he seems timid, scared. Annie cannot begin to think about his time back in Marley after losing Bertholdt, after coming back home without any of his comrades.
She's shocked to see Reiner stumble. He rocks backwards on his heels and goes down. He makes no move to pick himself back up, and he begins to cry. Right there. Annie watches as her old friend sheds tears, as he mourns in front of her. She remembers those nights, so long ago, when they were children, young and lost, wallowing in pity.
They haven't changed. She remembers and she crumbles down to her knees, in front of an almost stranger. She puts her hands on his, and they cry.