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Friday night arrived with gloomy and unpropitious clouds, striding across the darkened sky with the promise of autumnal rain. With a heart full of thorns, Anna stood by the window, waiting with fiddling fingers for her sister to cross the waters of the fjord. When she caught sight of a magical horse, galloping across the sea, Anna’s breath fogged up the window as she leaned in closer. A slight glimpse of Elsa was enough to start a fire inside her chest; a fire that only burned harder as she bolted for the stairs.
They greeted each other at the Great Hall, with wide smiles and tight embraces. Anna breathed in deeply, buried her nose in Elsa’s loose hair. Her fingers grasped the fabric of her white dress, rustling her wing shaped cape. Faintly, she heard the voice of her husband , calling out her sister’s name in delight. He had missed her, he said. But Anna knew the truth; she knew that, deep down, Kristoff was relieved now that the sisters lived separately, because it meant he could have her all to himself. But Anna also knew the other truth; that he was oh, so terribly wrong.
They moved to the library; if Elsa was here, it was because it was family game night.
The first match of Charades was won by the boys, but the second went to the girls. For an hour, they went back and forth, until Olaf decided to play another game. Anna conquered her spot as the best chess player. Not that it was news, but everybody still collectively groaned when she won against her sister, who had almost beat her and snatched the title from her.
Another round of chess was played, and when that was over, it was almost midnight. Neither of them had noticed the late hour; they were all having so much fun. The light mood that had stayed over them all night began to dwindle as soon as Kristoff wrapped his arms around Anna’s waist, because suddenly, Elsa chose that for her, it was time to go to bed.
Anna watched her sister retire for the night, shoulders slightly slouched and lips mildly turned downwards. When she turned in the arms of her husband, Kristoff kissed her forehead and told her that he would need to go; said something that was about his ice business, and how he needed to organize the early morning trip he will go on with his colleagues. Anna let him go and fortunately, Olaf followed him and Sven outside the castle.
Alone, she tidied up the library and thought about how she could finally get to have a lone moment with her sister. That realization was enough to make her speed her movements.
And soon, she found herself in front of Elsa’s bedroom, the ominous wood reminding her of all those years she spent knocking at this very same door. Sometimes, especially as she now remembered how sullen Elsa’s mood had turned once she had left the library, Anna feared that this door would go back to being locked and unanswered. But that fear, as it thrummed inside her veins while she knocked gently, was silenced by the soft voice that whispered, “Come in,”
Anna closed the door behind her once she was inside the bedroom, and she hesitated. Elsa was standing by the window, arms across her chest and white dress shimmering underneath the pale light of the candle that rested on her nightstand.
Anna paused a few feet away from her, hands trembling. She wanted, no, needed , to touch her sister. Make sure that she was really here, because seeing her one day a week, sometimes one day every two weeks, was starting to not be enough for her poor, ill and needy heart.
“Elsa,” she called, voice merely above a whisper. “Are you okay?”. Her question only met deafening silence. “Can you―turn around, please?” she hated how weakly her voice echoed inside the silent chamber. But she heard Elsa exhale meekly, before her body finally turned until she could see her face. Her blue eyes, always so full of light and love, were downcast. The lips that were always hiding her beautiful smile were now supporting the weight of a frown. And the arms that had offered her so many days of respite, had gave her such solace, were protectively crossed around her chest.
This was not the first time Anna had seen her sister look so down, so lost. The first Fridays that came after her coronation had been amazing; the day after, Elsa would always leave with a wide grin on her face. But the more time passed, the more her sister looked forlorn when the night would come to an end. Was she as desperate to spend as much time as possible with her sister as Anna was? Or was there something more , something that Anna had given voice to only in her thoughts? No , she chided herself, it couldn’t be that. But Elsa hadn’t come to her wedding. She had been so absent, that it had taken her days to respond to Anna’s worried letters. And Anna knew that it wasn’t Gale’s fault. He was extremely fast in both delivering and receiving their messages for each other. So Anna knew, for sure, that there had been something more to her silence, to her despondency. The truth scared her as much as their increasing distance did. So she kept her own secrets to herself, just like Elsa kept hers.
“Elsa,” she breathed. Her sister still refused to meet her gaze. “I know there’s something wrong. And I don’t want to force you into telling me something that you don’t want to tell me, but...I am here. And you can tell me anything,”
The ghost of a smile lit up her features, but it wasn’t one of happiness. It was one of desperation and devoid of any certainty. It made Anna’s fingers tremble more, and she closed her hands into fists, hoping that her sister wouldn’t notice the quivering of her limbs.
“I―,” Elsa’s voice broke, but her blue eyes finally met Anna’s teal ones. “―I can’t stay the night. I’m sorry.”
Anna’s smile fell completely. “Why not?”
“I just―can’t.”
“Did―did something happen tonight? Did we offend you? What happened?” Anna fired question after question. She felt like she was losing grip, the string that once tied them quickly loosening to the tension and to the secrets left untold.
“Nothing―happened,” Elsa muttered through gritted teeth, folding her arms across her chest even more. When Anna tried to move forward, to touch her shoulder comfortingly, Elsa flinched.
“Something happened and you are not telling me,” Anna stated quietly. Something lodged in the back of her throat and she tried to swallow in vain. She hated fighting. She hated butting heads with her sister more than anything in her entire life. “Please,” she pleaded. “Can you tell me? I just want to help you―,”
Just as her fingers brushed against bare skin, Elsa took a step back and hissed. “You can’t help me. You can’t.”
Anna felt breathless at the clear animosity in her sister’s blue eyes. The walls she had fought tooth and nail to demolish were now thicker than ever, hiding whatever was troubling Elsa behind the veil of anguish in her gaze. “Elsa―,”
“I should probably go,” Elsa muttered, walking past her and towards the bedroom door. The more her sister walked towards the exit, the more tears sprung to Anna’s eyes. She willed them to go away ― weakness would do her no good in this situation. She was sure that tears would not even make Elsa stay. Still, words that came from the deep cave of her heart made it out of her lips.
“You always have to go,”
It was a whisper, a shot in the dark, but ― Elsa stilled. Everything stopped; her breath hitched in her throat and she heard Elsa let out a shaky breath of her own. Anna bit down on her lip as she looked up at the ceiling, blurry because of her tears. Maybe weakness was the one thing that would make Elsa stay.
“You are not telling me something, Anna,” there was a mild accusatory tone in her voice, and Anna was an inch away from spilling everything. The pressure at her temples was becoming unbearable, her illness screaming at her, begging to be let out into the night. Tell her, tell her, tell her how you feel, it said. Anna gritted her teeth and breathed in deeply. It felt like she was underwater, her lungs clogged and her ears ringing from all the noise that was exploding inside her head. Tell her, tell her, tell her!
“Do you really have to go?” she asked. Anna heard Elsa’s footsteps coming closer, until they stopped right behind her. “ What is... there that here isn’t? Have I ― done something to drive you away?”
Her pain rained on her voice just as a thunder grumbled outside. A downpour began to descend from the cloudy sky just as a lone, unrestrained tear rolled down Anna’s reddened cheek. Elsa rounded her to face her, brows furrowed and lips slightly parted.
“No, you…” she paused. Anna didn’t meet her eyes and kept looking at the wall beyond her shoulder. “No,”
It was not enough. The answer only made her more desperate, more anguished as she shook her head. It was all so loud inside, and surely, Elsa’s presence, Elsa’s gaze on her, Elsa’s smell all around her, Elsa ― it wasn’t helping her at all. If anything, it was the destruction upon her dam. It was the final straw that made everything come out like a rainfall.
“I just miss you―all the time,” she began, looking out the window to her left. “And I think of you...all day. I think of you ― when I wake up, when I have breakfast. I think of you ― when I get dressed, when I’m in the middle of a meeting or outside with Olaf. I think of you when ― when I make love with Kristoff ―,” she lets out a shaky breath, another tear streaming down her face. She is fairly aware of her sister’s faint gasp, the way her chest begins to move up and down faster, her breathing quickening almost as if it wanted to synchronize with Anna’s own fast breathing. But Anna was too far gone to realize that ― the truth was out. No normal person would think of their sister when making love with their partner ― only a sick one would do that. And now Elsa was aware of her sickness, of these feelings that she had tried so hard to repress, to crush beneath her clenched fists. Not even Kristoff had helped her. Nothing seemed to help her get over this disgusting attraction, this unfair pull she felt towards her sister. And now that it was out in the open, it would be the one thing that will definitely make Elsa want to stop seeing her. “ ― and it hurts to breathe, it hurts to even...go on about my day thinking about ― how I get to spend just Friday night with you when I want…to spend every day with you.”
But now that she had unveiled the truth, she felt lighter despite the horrible feeling that settled on the bottom of her stomach. She had failed Elsa. She was a terrible sister to her, and even though she was aware that Elsa deserved better than this , she felt better. The weight that had been weighing her down for months had been finally lifted off her shoulders.
Anna tentatively looked up, trying to gauge Elsa’s reaction. Her sister had her mouth slightly open, chest heaving up and down and eyes unreadable.
I ruined everything, she thought grimly, averting her gaze back to the rain outside.
“Why are you telling me this?” Elsa asked in a mere whisper. There was no clear emotion in her voice, and even if there had been disgust or any other negative feeling, Anna would have still given her the truth. Because that, she deserved. The truth and only that.
“Because it’s...too much. It’s too much and I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore and I just ― hate all of this. I hate that it has to be like this , when I should just...let you go . Let you be on your own, let you be... happy ,” she sighed heavily. She glanced at Elsa. “Because maybe...you weren’t happy here, because of me―,”
“What are you talking about?” Elsa seemed mildly offended. “I was happy.”
“Was happy,” Anna underlined. “Are you, now?”
The hesitation on Elsa’s part answered all Anna’s questions.
“Anna…”
“Please, just leave,” she whispered. She sniffled and angrily wiped her tears. There was no way they could repair what they had just broken. “I can’t―I can’t do this.”
“Please,” Elsa pleaded, and now Anna could hear it; the desperation in her voice, the strong emotion behind her eyes. The walls retreating. “Please, hear me out.”
“Elsa, you should just go. Before one of us says something that one of us will regret tomorrow,”
Elsa’s jaw clenched and she firmly shook her head. Upon her stubbornness, Anna began walking towards the door, but before she could take a step, Elsa stepped in her personal space and held her in place, hands shaking as they grasped her forearms. Anna’s chest heaved against her corset, the jacket now feeling restricting.
“I love you,” Elsa whispered. Anna shook her head. I don’t believe you, she communicated with her saddened, downcast eyes. “Yes, I do. Anna, I do love you,” she repeated determinedly. She lowered her head, making their eyes meet forcefully. “And that is what drove me away. At first, yes, it was duty. I am the Fifth Spirit and I just thought I had a purpose to fulfill, a role to play. But then...―I started seeing you under a different light and I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t...taint our sisterhood like that. I wanted to...―to protect you from this filth―,”
“Are you seriously doing that again?!” Anna questioned, her voice raising just like anger did inside her chest. “Treating me like you know what’s best for me, as if I’m still a child? Again?”
“No! I don’t think that―,”
“You don’t think what , Elsa?” Anna sneered. When Elsa sighed, Anna felt her cool breath against her reddened cheeks. She looked up at her sister, and realized that it had always been like this; Elsa would always be above her. She would always be the better queen, the better sister. Anna just couldn’t compete with her, and maybe her naivety, her lack of smartness, her impulsiveness, was what had driven Elsa to act like she always had to look out for her. “I’m capable of making my own choices, Elsa. I am 22, I am a queen. I need nobody’s protection.”
Elsa’s nostrils flared as she heaved a sigh; she looked as if she was about to burst, her brows furrowed in frustration as she looked for a retort. Her blue eyes, sparkling, so up close, had a magnetic field of its own, as Anna seemed incapable of looking away.
When Elsa spoke next, another thunder, preceded by lightening, invaded their silence. But it seemed to take the tension between them to the next level, as Elsa, eyes softening, whispered quietly, “Anna, I couldn’t just…―tell you that I think of kissing you and touching you and making you...say my name in ways that would drive me absolutely mad ,” Elsa’s eyes roamed all over her face and Anna suddenly felt hot. Something tightened in her stomach, a feeling. Something that told her, she wants you as much as you want her . Anna glanced at her sister’s lips, aware of the electricity that flowed from their bodies, aware of the sudden coiling arousal in her lower belly. Her skin tingled, her nerves were on fire, and she yearned for Elsa, who paused, stared and lowered her voice even more as she said, “I couldn’t just tell you that . ”
Anna felt brave. Elsa just said that she couldn’t have told her, but something had pushed her to say those words now, and it was her turn to be brave. It was her turn to show her that she was capable of making her own choices, of protecting herself from the things she deemed perilous. And Elsa wasn’t. She would never be dangerous. Even though these feelings they had grown for each other were dangerous, even though they were horrible and would doom them to death if they ever got out, if anybody ever found out about it, Anna felt brave. Right this instant, nothing but Elsa mattered. Elsa, and her beautiful, courageous soul. Absolutely nothing else mattered.
Anna stepped forward, right into her personal space. The distance between their bodies was almost non existent, their faces close enough to feel each other’s breath on their cheeks. Anna’s gaze lingered on her lips, anticipation pulsing between her legs. Not even guilt would stop her from what she wanted, loved, the most. Still, the gold band on her left ring finger burned and had a weight that Anna ignored.
Nothing else mattered.
“What if…” she began, voice merely above a whisper. “What if I want you to do all that?”
Something in Elsa’s eyes shifted; her pupils dilated, her cheeks reddened. And then, finally, before the buzzing tension between them could become unbearable, Elsa closed the distance. In all her daydreams, she had imagined their first kiss to be under an apple tree. It would be soft, tender, tentative. Elsa would be gentle with her and she would be gentle just as much.
But reality turned out to be far different. They weren’t under an apple tree. They were inside Elsa’s old bedroom. And the meeting of their lips was far from tender. It was bruising, it was harsh and desperate. Elsa wasn’t gentle; her fingers grasped her face in her cold hands and her cool body pressed against hers, pushed her against the wall beside the night stand. Elsa cowardly stole her breath and didn’t give it back to her. They kissed and kissed, the sound of their lips colliding desperately echoing inside the four walls. Their heartbeats clashed, irregularly pumping thick and sick blood in their veins. Anna wasn’t a believer, but right in this moment, she believed that heaven existed, and that it was camouflaged as hell. How could this be wrong when it felt so right? How could Elsa’s fingers tangling in her copper hair, her tongue overwhelmingly penetrating her mouth, ever be wrong? No, she concluded. This was right. Everybody else was wrong.
Anna’s hands blindly gripped Elsa’s hips. They bucked into hers and a moan managed to escape both of their battling mouths. Elsa’s body was flush against hers, continuously pressing against hers, as if the distance was the only thing they could never mend, the only obstacle they would never succeed.
Anna’s hair was a mess when Elsa began sucking and licking on her neck, her hands now palming the sides of her chest. With her quivering hands, Anna looked for laces in the back of Elsa’s white dress, something, that would let her see more of her sister’s skin. She moaned in frustration when her research resulted futile, but then she moaned for a different reason. In her haste to get to Anna’s chest, Elsa had ripped the front of her dress off, showing the intricately laced corset underneath. Anna writhed beneath her ministrations, panting and tangling her hands in the nape of Elsa’s platinum blonde hair and pulling her more against her as she began planting open mouthed kisses on her sternum. Everything happened quickly, the quietness of the bedroom disrupted only by the grumbling of the thunders, their heavy breathing, Anna’s strangled moans and Elsa’s own quite mewls of desperation.
Elsa tried to unlace Anna’s corset, eager to let her lips mark her sister’s breasts, but the action seemed to take too much time, and decided to give up. Before Anna could register what was happening ― it was happening so fast and her mind was just so cloudy and foggy ― Elsa moaned and unceremoniously dropped to her knees. She pushed her hands beneath Anna’s skirts, dragging downwards her bloomers and everything that was in between her and Anna’s center.
Anna trembled, breath out of control, world spinning and she was just ― feeling too much all of a sudden. Her whole body seemed to understand Elsa’s intentions before her brain did, and helped her kick the undergarments out of her way.
And then, Elsa gathered her skirts and dragged them upwards, above her waist. She buried her head between Anna’s slightly parted legs and―
“Elsa―,” her voice got caught in her throat as her sister’s mouth found her center. She knew she was terribly wet, and when Elsa sucked her dripping folds, caught them between her lips and tugged gently, she knew that there was no going back. Just as Elsa moaned ― the sound vibrating against her core ― Anna felt her breath hitch in her throat, and she threw her hands outwards, searching for something, anything that would not let her float away from this world.
The night stand rattled abruptly and noisily as Anna gripped its side with her right hand, her thighs clenching around her sister’s temples. She ground herself against Elsa’s slick tongue, feeling its peak enter her briefly. Anna arched against the wall, her ears ringing from the over stimulation. She wrapped one leg around her sister’s back just as her left hand tangled tightly in Elsa’s hair. She tugged, bucking hard and fast against her face, searching for that relief she had been looking for months. Her strangled moans filled her own ears and when she looked downwards, she caught sight of two things; first, her dress was extremely ruined, ripped apart and showing the disheveled, slightly unlaced corset beneath. Second, Elsa was nestled between her quivering thighs, one hand keeping the rustling fabric of her skirts above her waist and the other gripping the side of her abdomen so as to keep her upward. Her eyes were shut, a look of complete ecstasy upturning her brows.
Anna felt something snap inside of her, a burning in her lower stomach, a string tightening around her heart. She knew she was close, and she was unable to breathe, to control whatever was overcoming her body. She had never felt such intense emotions take over her brain. With the little awareness she had left, she tried to at least block the incredibly noisy sounds coming from her parted lips.
Anna took her left hand away from the nape of Elsa’s hair and put it in her mouth, biting hard when Elsa began to circle her clit with the tip of her tongue. She let out strangled moans, all muffled by her fingers, and she squeezed her eyes shut. It was Elsa’s hot breath against her folds and her tongue entering her abruptly that sent her over the edge. She bit down on her hand so hard, but still, it did nothing to stop the little scream that managed to escape from her throat.
Anna curled inward, overwhelmed by each wave of pleasure that cuddled her body. She sagged against Elsa’s head, panting and trying to regain the consciousness she almost lost. For a few seconds, Elsa peppered her inner thighs with light and tender kisses, helping her come down from her high. Then, she stood up again, and Anna completely fell in her arms. Elsa held her, hands grasping her underarms and pelvis pushing against hers so she could be pressed up against the wall again. Anna’s arms fell around Elsa’s shoulders, and the way Elsa held her, so protectively, so tightly against her body as if she were afraid she would let go, made her eyes water.
The emotions took over her and she cried softly against Elsa’s shoulder. Her sister made no comments about her tears, but kissed her temple nevertheless.
“Let’s get you out of this dress,” she whispered right against her ear. Her hoarse voice was enough to stir her arousal awake, and just as Elsa moved back a little to cup her face, Anna moved forward and chased her lips. The kiss was as much desperate as the first, and with the little strength she had left, Anna began to push her sister towards the bed.
If this was the only night they would get to just be, Anna wanted to make love to her all night; sleep would have to take her with brutality in order to separate her from her sister.
Elsa fell against the mattress, her head between the plush pillows, and Anna quickly straddled her, their lips never once parting from their heated battle. Elsa tugged at the loose strands of her ripped dress, and Anna quickly complied, pulling it over her head and throwing it somewhere in the bedroom. Once she was free, Elsa quickly began fiddling with the laces of her corset, this time with more determination. As it finally pooled around her waist, Anna moaned; her chest finally able to expand completely, her body finally ― finally ― bare, all of it for Elsa to worship.
Elsa’s hands quickly took the corset’s place, cupping her breasts and squeezing them with wanton. But Anna leaned down, kissing her until their lips were bruised and swollen, and pinned her hands above her head.
“Your turn,” Anna whispered against her mouth. Elsa breathed heavily, and in the blink of an eye, her entire dress disappeared, glimmering above them in snowflakes. A collective moan echoed between them as their bodies, now completely naked, flushed against one another. The relief they both felt as they wrapped their arms around each other, as they became one with each other, was overwhelming. They kissed passionately, taking their time, their tongues battling for dominance as they moved against each other with a rhythm only their hearts knew how to follow.
Anna took the lead, burying her head in the crook of Elsa’s neck and marking every inch of her skin. She dragged her tongue from her sternum up to her earlobe, and breathed heavily against it. Elsa rewarded her with a needy moan, wrapping her legs around her waist and pushing their pelvises together. Anna moaned, gripping the pillow beneath her head as she felt Elsa’s wetness collide with her lower abdomen.
Unable to wait any longer, she briefly palmed her sister’s breasts, before lowering her hand and cupping her entire core. Elsa threw her head back and bucked, her breath heavy against her sister’s ear. Anna kissed her cheek and didn’t waste a minute; if this was a race, time was against them and she didn’t want to let it win.
Her finger probed Elsa’s entrance, her palm rubbing up and down her soaked folds to spread her wetness. Then, when she finally entered her, Elsa mewled, eyes squeezed shut as she bit her lip. Her thighs and hips trembled against Anna’s waist and Anna couldn’t help but grind forward. All she could feel was Elsa’s body against hers ― their nipples grazing, her own thighs against the underside of Elsa’s, her arms around her shoulders, her nails dragging along her back ― all she could hear were Elsa’s quite and desperate moans against her ear. All she could smell was Elsa’s skin ― snow, lavender ― and their arousal.
Her fingers set a fast pace as they pushed in and out of Elsa, working both inside and outside her. Her mind reeled, because―
“You’re so tight,” Anna moaned against her ear, breathing heavily at the feeling of Elsa’s walls clenching around her fingers as soon as she whispered that. The bed beneath them creaked as they moved in harmony.
But the fire inside was not satiated yet. She needed more . She demanded more.
All of a sudden, she pulled out of Elsa, and before she could protest, she briefly kissed her on the lips before muttering, “Turn around,”
She had never used this voice ― so commanding ― with her sister before, and she saw goosebumps ripple across Elsa’s body as she turned around, her chest against the mattress now. Anna harshly grabbed her hips and tugged them upwards, parting her legs with her knees. Elsa turned her face sideways, trying to get a glimpse of what Anna would do next.
Anna’s fingers entered her again, this time from behind, and Elsa fell forward, a surprised moan coming out of her mouth. The sight of Elsa’s arched back, the feeling of Elsa’s bare behind against her own bucking hips, it was all―
“Elsa,” she moaned. Out of sheer desperation, she reached forward and tangled a hand in her platinum blonde hair, tugging gently. She was rewarded with a strangled moan, and Elsa reached forward to grab the headboard, as it repeatedly hit the wall with the force of Anna’s thrusts.
Elsa moaned her sister’s name under her breath, frost forming around her hands. She quickly came undone just as Anna reached forward and circled her clit with her left hand. Elsa tried to muffle her gasps of pleasure against the pillow, her bare back arching and glistening with sweat.
Minutes passed, silent moments shared one beside the other. They lied against the mattress, both of them staring at the ceiling as they waited for Elsa’s tremors to stop shaking her body.
Once she calmed down, Anna silently wrapped her own bare form around Elsa’s; one arm wrapped around her chest while one leg tangled with Elsa’s.
Anna listened to her sister’s heartbeat, her legs still trembling from the strenuous activity. “Elsa?”
“Hm?” she hummed against the crown of her head. Anna nuzzled her head against her breasts, caressing the underside of one and smiling slightly when Elsa quivered mildly.
“I meant every word,” she whispered. For one silent second, she stared enraptured by the movements of her fingers against Elsa’s skin. Then, she put her weight on one elbow and lifted herself up so as to look her sister right in the eye. “You’re always in my mind. I never stop thinking about you. And…” she paused, suddenly speechless. There was one thing she hadn’t said earlier, and even though Elsa already knew, she whispered nonetheless, “―and I love you, too.”
She rested her hand against her sister’s chest and Elsa grasped her elbow, pulling her closer as the beginning of a delighted smile crept up her face. With the hand beneath Anna’s shoulder, she began tracing mindless circles across her bare back, before trailing it upwards and massaging the nape of her hair. Anna closed her eyes in bliss, a quite hum of approval and pleasure vibrating against her throat.
“About what just happened…” Elsa began, hesitation lacing her every word. Her eyes settled on Anna’s lips, visibly distracted. “...do you regret it?”
“No,” Anna replied immediately, face inches away from her sister’s. “I would never,” she paused. “Do you?”
Elsa shook her head firmly. She turned her body more towards Anna’s and wrapped her left arm around her shoulder, bringing her closer. As their noses touched, they closed their eyes and breathed in the moment. Their lips brushed, colliding gently for a few seconds, before parting. They shared quiet and tender kisses, daring tongues peaking from time to time. The rain made pattering sounds against the windowpanes, the sheets rustled beneath their bare, shifting bodies, and a thunder grumbled a few miles away from the castle.
Elsa pressed herself against Anna, her right hand going from her elbow to her hip, before wandering inward. She swallowed Anna’s quite moan with a kiss, her fingers connecting with wet warmth between her sister’s legs. A calmness settled above them, the urgency of a few moments ago dissipated now that they had tasted relief for the very first time.
Anna wrapped her arms around Elsa’s back, her thighs squeezing together and trapping Elsa’s right hand. Elsa took her time in exploring her. The kisses she planted along her sternum and neck were tender, almost feather like. When her fingers grazed Anna’s inner walls for the first time, she set a slow and gentle pace, her wrist bending and twisting, searching for the friction that would send her sister over the edge. Everything, in contrast to before, was slow and calculated.
Anna’s hips met every thrust, and when Elsa closed her lips around a hardened nipple, the moan that came out of Anna’s mouth was not one of desperation but pure pleasure.
Anna, on the other hand, came sooner rather later, body trembling against her sister’s but voice quite against Elsa’s ear. She let herself be held in strong arms, Elsa’s soothing voice whispering sweet nothings against her temple as she came down from her high.
Once they were settled once again against the mattress, Elsa sighed. She cupped Anna’s cheek, counted her freckles just to calm herself down, and kissed her nose.
“Anna,” she began. But Anna had already understood.
“Please,” she gripped her shoulder blades and brought their bodies even closer. “Don’t,”
“I really need to go,” she whispered.
Anna stubbornly shook her head. “Stay,” she kissed her on the lips. “Stay the night. Please,” she pleaded.
“Anna…”
“Please,” Anna’s eyes watered and the sight broke her heart. “Just stay. I don’t want to be alone , ”
Anna abruptly buried her head in the crook of her neck and tackled her to the bed. Her barely concealed cries and soft sobs completely shattered Elsa, as she lied on her back and guided Anna on top of her. Their arms wrapped around each other desperately, and Elsa let a few tears of her own glide down her cheeks. Anna clung to her like she was her lifeline and Elsa let her. Her hand tangled in Anna’s hair and pulled her face closer to the side of her neck. Her tears wet her bare skin and Anna’s pain burned more than a real blaze could. She couldn’t do this to her. The world couldn’t do this to them; it was so unfair. For Anna to be married with a man she didn’t love. For her to have such priorities that prevented her from staying with Anna. For them to love each other so much it could only bring them ache.
Elsa damned whatever deity was up there in the sky. They could be weeping with them right now, screaming profanities through their thunders, but no amount of tears will help them heal.
They were destined to love each other and suffer through the distance, through the lies.
“Okay,” she kissed her temple. “Okay, I will stay. I will stay,” she continuously repeated this until Anna’s cries softened, and the rocking of her body, back and forth, had managed to lull her little sister into a deep slumber.
Elsa was alone with her thoughts, the pleasant weight of Anna on top of her and the rain that was witness to it all. She closed her eyes, biting down on her lip.
Life had never been more unfair.
When Anna woke up, the rays of the sun coming from the windows were gentle and tentative. She slowly opened her eyes, consciousness lazily running around her mind. When she squeezed the body between her arms, she realized ― it was not a body.
Anna suddenly sat up, staring with wide eyes at the pillow she had been holding, thinking it was Elsa.
Elsa.
She clutched the blankets, covering her modesty and shaking slightly. When did this room get so cold?
“Elsa?”
The other side of the bed was empty, and when she touched it, the warmth of Elsa’s body had vanished a long time ago.
Her hand, all of a sudden, came into contact with the rough surface of paper. A letter.
Anna hastily opened it and read it, feeling tears spring to her eyes as soon as she caught sight of her sister’s neat cursive writing.
Dearest Anna,
I’m sorry you have to wake up alone, but I had to go. I couldn’t stay any longer.
Know that I am thinking of you. No matter the distance between us, you will always be in my heart. And first and foremost, you will always be my little sister.
I will see you next Friday.
I love you.
Unconditionally and forevermore yours,
Elsa
Anna covered her mouth just as a sob reached her throat. Both tears of happiness and sadness streamed down her cheeks, a few of them falling on the yellow paper of Elsa’s heartfelt letter. She hugged it close to her heart, wishing she could hold her sister instead. Anna had never known a pain like this one; but she knew now that only love could hurt like this. Only love could make her feel like her heart was about to burst. Only love could make her hate this world, for being so damned unfair; for deciding what kind of love is wrong and what is right. She loved Elsa, and Elsa loved her back. Wasn’t that enough?
Anna looked outside the window, her vision blurry. The only thing she could look forward to now was Friday; the little respite in this injustice. Her solace among the chaos.
In the sunshine, despite its brightness, she found her answer.
It could never be enough.