Work Text:
To Gray, looking at the stars always gave him comfort. Ur used to tell him the ones he lost were never too far away. If he just looked up at the stars at night, he would see his loved ones twinkling above watching over him.
When Gray lost Ur, he cursed the stars. What good were his loved ones doing up there when he was all alone down here?
Only silence greeted him back.
When the loneliness grew too much, he began to talk to the stars. He would tell his parents about his day or boast to Ur about how far his training had come.
Talking to them helped chase the shadows away.
On the darkest nights when not even the moon could be seen, Gray used to wonder what his life would have been like if things were different. Maybe he'd be in a warm bed right now, belly full from the game he and his father hunted that day. Or maybe he'd be listening to Ur tell stories about her adventures before they turned in for the night.
Whatever fantasies he imagined on those nights, he'd always end up dreaming of Deliora.
As Gray grew older, he spent less time talking to the stars. He'd tell them about the milestones he reached, though, like when he joined Fairy Tail. He was glad to have other kids his age who had been through the same rough hand life had dealt. Not that any of them talked about it, but it was nice to have something to distract him when his mind wandered.
For the longest time, Gray avoided partnering with someone or joining a team. Why get close to someone just to have them taken away, he thought.
When Gray met Loke, it was at the height of his puberty. Loke looked so cool and suave, effortlessly attracting attention when he walked into a room. He seemed so sure of himself while Gray felt he was growing too quickly for his body to catch up.
Everyone assumed Loke was around their age, yet, like the rest of the guild, his eyes carried the weight of someone much older.
Not much was known about him, not of his past or why he wanted to join Fairy Tail. He was an enigma. It worked in Loke’s favour though, as he made his way through the town's female population. Not that Gray could complain, of course; they all had their vices. Anyone outside of Fairy Tail would agree that they were the epitome of at least three of the four Fs of survival: feeding, fighting, and fucking. Only the members knew that they lived by the fourth F, fleeing, too.
For everyone was fleeing from their problems or their pasts.
For a while, Gray turned to cigarettes. Its toxins helping flood his thoughts with fog until they were hazy and almost indecipherable. They didn't last long, however, as the poison began affecting him physically. He couldn't run as far or recover as quickly. He realized it was time to quit when he had taken a hit that he would have normally been able to dodge.
Gray decided if he wanted to die, it would be chasing after Deliora and not because of some cancer sticks.
It wasn't easy. His hands shook, and he'd lash out at the most trivial things. Perhaps that was why Loke took pity on him, asking Gray to be his wingman for the night. Gray didn't ask questions because Loke sure as hell didn't need a wingman, and he was curious. It wasn't as if he was unaware. He noticed the way eyes would linger when he unintentionally stripped or the way blushes would bloom when he talked.
So, he agreed.
It was awkward at first. He wasn't sure how he felt about being intimate with someone who knew nothing about him. But maybe that was the appeal. All they saw was Gray Fullbuster, the great ice alchemist of Fairy Tail, and not Gray Fullbuster, the lonely orphan.
In the heat of it, he could pretend for a moment that the warmth he felt meant something. That it was enough to creep into his heart and chip away at a layer. Over time, it became less about the thrill of the act and more about chasing that warmth again.
His bed partners didn't seem to mind because they were chasing something too.
When Gray met Lucy, he thought she was a little naive and too innocent to be joining a chaotic guild like Fairy Tail. From what Natsu had told him, she had been tricked by some pathetic mage pretending to be the great Salamander only to be saved by the actual Salamander himself. Although, Natsu had also believed this imposter to be Igneel.
In that case, perhaps Lucy did belong in Fairy Tail if she was as naive as Natsu.
Gray didn't realize it then, but Lucy was destined to rewrite the stars. Maybe Loke had realized this, and that was the reason he avoided her like the plague. Because otherwise, she was exactly Loke's type.
He should have noticed it sooner. On nights where they would camp outside, the way Loke would look at the stars with a bittersweet smile on his face. In a way Gray had seen too many times on his own. Maybe he had lost someone too, Gray thought.
Gradually, he started distancing himself. Turning down job offers or a night out on the town. It seemed entirely unlike him, but Gray didn't pry when he doubted the flimsy excuses Loke used.
Gray understood because he had secrets too.
He knew he had tolerated it for too long when word got around that Loke had left the guild. It wasn't often that members left, usually to retire or start a family, but they'd always have a proper send-off. When Loke left without a word to anyone at Fairy Tail, only stopping to part with his girlfriends, Gray wondered if he knew the man at all.
Gray always thought the worst goodbyes were the ones that happened abruptly. The ones that were unplanned and left unsaid. Those that were so sudden you were left aching and ruminating at what could have been. All Gray knew was that he couldn't leave it without knowing why. He thought he deserved that, at least.
Looking back, he would realize all roads led to Lucy.
He felt drawn to her in a way that felt familiar. Something about her reminded him of the nights he'd lay awake with only the stars to keep him company. It was that pull that found him reluctantly in a team with his long-time frenemy and the feared Titania.
When the others were asleep, they'd stretch out on the grass and star-gaze. She'd trace each constellation and tell him the stories behind them. The nights where Leo could be seen, she let him hold Loke's key and be comforted by the warmth it emitted. He would laugh, realizing Ur was right.
His loved ones were always watching over him.
On those dark nights where not a star shone in the sky, Lucy would hold him tight to her chest, and Gray dared to let his heart wonder what his life could be.
He slept soundly those nights.
Over time, after every hard-fought battle won, every battle too close, and every battle lost, they sought comfort in each other. It reminded them that they were alive and the other was still there. At night, they kissed a little harder, held on a little tighter, and left all the words they meant to say unsaid.
After she fell asleep, he would trace constellations using the scars on her back. He'd bask in the warmth of her hold and let it bathe over his heart.
He could only hazard a guess as to what she was chasing after, but he didn't question it. He knew it, the guild knew it, it seemed everyone knew it except Lucy, but Gray knew she wasn't his.
When Gray fell in love with Lucy, he remembered that the sun was also a star, and even after the darkest of nights, the sun would rise again the next morning.