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Gavin can see the lights of the cottage. It’s the only house around here, in the middle of the Midsomer backwoods, and he steps on the gas, making the Jag jump on the frozen dirt road. It’s been six months. Feels longer than that, even now that he’s almost at the house, feels like ages, and he’s excited, thinking Tom must be there already. Even if he got off late, he should be in by now. And it’s not just tonight. They have all weekend. Until Sunday, that’s plenty of time, though he’s not sure how Tom managed it, or if it’s smart to ask him. What he knows is, he’d have driven down here for a lot less. After six months, hell, he’d have come down for a couple of pints at the Causton Arms…
It was on Monday that he had his last debrief. The communications ban was lifted, he got his phone back and a ride to the airport. He was wondering how he’d done, if the NIS would request him back. Of course, they don’t tell you anything. Back in Middlesbrough, he reported back at the station. He left a message for Tom, called Mum and his mates. He told them what he could. Declassified stuff, tip of the iceberg. Tom’s call back came late and found him in the Tesco's parking lot. They had talked a couple of times during the job, on the office phone, and even that felt like ages. He put Tom on the system, and his long greeting, the smile in his voice, made Gavin grin at the speaker. Gavin knew he was sounding overeager, and didn’t care: “When d’you reckon…?”
Tom’s car is parked outside, and Gavin sees him get out and shrug on his coat. He’s just arrived, and he waves, hand up against the headlights. It’s been too long, too bloody long. Gavin hits the brakes and jumps out of the car. He doesn’t think about it but hurries around the Rover, just a quick glance around, a quick look at Tom before he catches him in a hard embrace. He hears him huff, a quiet laugh, feels his arms come up around him. He knows how Tom is about stuff like this, and they’re still outside, but who on earth is gonna see them, and even if they do… Tom is warm, it’s the heating, and his smell, the long day, the drive, his strong, familiar smell, makes Gavin press closer. He breathes him in, holds him, until he hears Tom mutter his name.
“Let’s go inside, shall we…?” Tom looks at him. A breathy laugh, and his fingers dig into Gavin’s shoulders, a little more, before letting go.
“Yeah…” Gavin steps back. “Let’s.”
Tom stands for another moment, his eyes narrow with that smile. “It’s been a while.”
“You can say that again.”
Tom has gained some weight. The lines around his eyes are deeper, but not in a bad way. He looks good, and his smile, that look… Gavin is about to reach out again when he hears the crunch of tires on the driveway. He looks around to find the Jag rolling. Sliding slowly backwards along the shrubbery. He jogs over, gets back in, and this time he makes sure to put on the handbrake. He grabs his bag and coat and heads up the stairs after Tom. The front door is a little stuck. The cottage hasn’t been used for a while, Gavin can tell. It smells of dust and pine, damp, but it’s already warm from the infrared heating.
“How are the roads up North?” Tom asks.
He is leaning against the wall in the hallway, untying his shoes, and Gavin watches him with a small grin. Of course. Of course, it’s going to be like this. It’s not like he expected Tom to jump him by the coat rack…
“Not too bad,” he says. “Got through no problem.”
“Any snow?”
“Next week, by the look of it…”
“Hmm.”
He knows how Tom is. Tom likes his routines. Likes to go about things a certain way. They settle in, have a chat, a drink. It’s how it’s going to go. And it’s alright with Gavin, or it would be, except it’s been six bloody months… He hangs up their coats and steps over to Tom. It’s been ages. He reaches out, but this time Tom beats him to it. Tom's hand comes up to Gavin’s cheek, still cold, and Gavin leans into his touch. Meets his eye. Tom’s touch trails along his face, and he kisses Gavin, a slow, deep kiss, a little maddening in how slow it is, but Gavin feels him, tastes him, and the feeling coils in his stomach, in the back on his throat. The familiar thrill of it.
He kisses Tom back, and for an instant he thinks maybe… maybe they can forego the chat and the drink…
“Easy there…” Tom’s voice is quiet, hoarse, and his hand settles on Gavin’s shoulder. Turns him towards the living room. “On you go.”
Gavin steps through, a bit reluctantly, followed by Tom. He switches on the lights, puts down his bag. Everything looks the same as always. The same weird stillness. Tom heads into the kitchen and Troy crosses the room, remembering that last time it was still summer… He pulls the curtains close and tugs lightly at his belt. All it takes, is it? A snog, and his cock is already twitching. It’s not like he’s desperate. He’s seen some action in the last months, work hard, play hard, all that. But this… Tom… it’s not even the same thing.
Tom hands him a glass, generous on the soda. He smiles at Gavin and sits down on the back of the sofa next to him. It’s alright, really. A drink. A chat. Doing things Tom’s way.
“So,” Tom says. “First week back home. How are things at the station?”
Gavin clinks their glasses together. “A change of pace. Couple of slow days so far, I don’t think they were expecting me back yet.”
“Got to be a bit bland. Run of the mill police work, after all that…”
“Yeah. Not to say I miss working double shifts. Or Dublin.”
Gavin takes a drink, savouring the mild taste. He’s been looking forward to this, too. Talking things over with Tom. He knows Tom has done some NIS work back in the day, when he was still with the Met. He was one of them, he knows The Firm.
“They really let you in on the action, did they?” Tom asks.
“From day one. Same clearance as everyone,” Gavin says. “Was it different when you worked with them?”
“Oh, those were different times. The cosy days of the Cold War.”
“Yeah?”
“Was a well-fed agency at the time. If I told you those were the most restful weeks of my professional life…”
Gavin smiles. “I wouldn’t believe you.”
Tom is turning the glass in his hand, and Gavin moves closer. Can’t help it. His fingers brush along Tom’s wrist, slip beneath the bunched-up sleeve, and Tom lets out a hum.
“Making tea and pushing files around,” Tom says. “Wasn’t much more to it.”
“I know you didn’t like it. Never told me why.” His hand slides up Tom's arm. Feels its way up, slowly.
“I haven’t?” Tom looks down at Gavin’s hand. He feels good. Looks good, too, and when he tilts his head a little, Gavin knows it's an invitation.
“I’d remember,” he says. He leans closer, and for a moment he waits, until Tom pulls him in.
A brief kiss, but it’s open, hungry. This is more like it. It’s the way Tom kisses when he wants it, and he tastes good, feels good, and Gavin chases his mouth when he starts leaning back. He grabs at Tom’s shirt and sees the look in his eye. With some stuff even Tom is easy to read. Gavin has half a mind to get down on his knees. He wants to, just the thought of it goes straight to his cock. He holds Tom’s gaze for another moment, then he contents himself with getting up from the sofa. He brushes his thigh against Tom’s.
“When my stint was over,” Tom’s voice wavers, but he continues. “I didn’t look back. Never occurred to me that they’d call me again.”
“But they did. And you… said no?”
“Was quite the offer, actually.”
“You think that’s what’s gonna happen?” Gavin asks. “They’ll call?”
He swallows against the arousal. Part of him wants to stay with this, just a bit longer. See if Tom comes out with the whole story. Certainly didn’t want to do it before Gavin left for the job.
“They wouldn’t have kept you as long as this…” Tom gets up and shifts closer, his mouth against Gavin’s throat. “They’ll call.”
“What’s… your advice then?”
“I’ll tell you sometime. The whole story.”
Gavin nods. He’s glad for the silence, done thinking about The Firm. Tom’s hand is on the back of his neck, and he’s pulled down, met with a harder kiss than he expects. He senses the tension in Tom, something he doesn’t see but knows it’s there, like so many things with Tom, he trusts his instinct on this. Tom’s hands roam over his back, and he pushes his hips against Gavin’s. Lightly at first, then his hands drop down to Gavin’s arse and yank him close. It sets something off in Gavin, instantly. He grinds back against him, and Tom makes that sound, a small thing, a bed thing, and Gavin presses his face into his hair, sucking in his scent.
“I missed you,” he says.
It’s weird, saying it like this, but he wants to. Sometimes he wants to say stuff like this. Tom leans in again, and the words are quiet against his mouth.
“And I, you.”
Tom tastes of Scotch, of himself, and it’s good to hear him say it, unexpected. Tom’s hand moves to his front, cupping Gavin’s cock as he kisses him deeper. Gavin rubs himself into his hand, liking the way it tightens around him. Feels like a big deal. After six months probably everything is gonna feel like a big deal…
His belt is opened, his trousers, and Tom pulls out his cock. Leaking already, and Tom rubs his thumb over the tip, a caress at first, then a couple of long, full strokes. God, it’s good. Tom’s fingers dig into the base of his cock, work him there before moving down to cup his balls. Gavin pants into it, thinking it’s not like Tom, doing this here instead of upstairs, but fair enough… He reaches down, fumbling open Tom’s trousers. Wants to feel him, too. They have different speeds, but he likes to get Tom going, to feel his cock, get him hard. He’s missed this. Missed him, and he almost says it again, clenching his eyes against the building pleasure. He’s getting close already, and he moans as Tom picks up the pace. No point in holding back. He tries to keep going on Tom’s cock while fucking into his grip that’s pushing him closer and closer. He doesn’t think to say it, but there’s the hankie anyway, and he comes, hard, thrusting through the waves of it, his face pressed against Tom’s.
Tom is breathing heavily, his mouth open against Gavin’s. It’s been a while since they haven’t made it upstairs. Gavin wipes himself off, and Tom’s hand returns to his softening cock.
“How on earth could I hope to keep up with that?” Tom’s voice is hoarse, and there’s a small smile. He is still hard, maybe halfway there, and Gavin takes him in his hand. Runs his fingers down his length.
“What do you want?” he asks.
“Oh, what do I want…” A breath of laugh. “Nothing I don’t.”
Tom tucks himself back in, holding his trousers up. He nods to the stairs, and Gavin follows him with a dazed grin. He wants him in bed. Wants to get him off. As sated as he feels right now, he wants to peel Tom out of his clothes, and even though he’s just come, he know he’ll get hard for him again. Won’t even be long.
“Come on,” Tom says.
The bedroom is warm, the air thick, and just the sight of the place pulls at something in Gavin. He gets rid of his suit, it’s due for cleaning anyway, then he pulls back the blankets and throws a couple of extra sheets on the bed. He watches Tom step out of his trousers. Always likes this part. Already naked himself, he pulls off Tom’s undershirt and hooks his finger into the rubber band of his boxers. His scent, hot and close, the scent of his cock… it never fails to get him going. He pulls down the boxers, and Tom is already backing him towards the bed, pushing him down on it. He leans over Gavin, his hand trailing down his chest.
“Get it, would you?”
Gavin gets back up. Of course, how could he forget. It’s downstairs in his bag, and as he jogs up the stairs, he twists the lid off the pot. Always good to start with a bit of a tug. He catches the way Tom licks his lips as he slides back onto the bed, and he gets right to it. Strokes a slick hand down Tom’s cock. They’re lying face to face. Doesn’t feel like six months now, feels like he’s barely been gone… Tom lets out a sigh, and his hand is on Gavin’s cheek. Gavin turns into the touch. Licks into it. Tom is hard in his hand, and his breathing is strained. He pushes his thumb into Gavin’s mouth, and Gavin sucks on it. Gives him a little taste. He is about to scoot down, pretty sure it’s what Tom wants, his mouth on him, but instead Tom kisses him, quick and deep, and his leg slides between Gavin’s. They both shift closer, thighs coming together, hips, cocks.
Tom holds their cocks, strokes them together, and it gets Gavin hard again, right away. They push and rub, find a rhythm, get going. Tom adds more lube, and Gavin looks down between them, watching their glistening cocks, Tom’s pink head, the way he holds them together, letting them fuck up against each other. It’s so right, just so right. Three days, he thinks, a whole weekend… Tom’s hand moves, from their cocks slowly to Gavin’s arse. He digs his fingers into his arse cheek, and there is a jolt of anticipation, Gavin knows this little dance. They keep pushing against each other, and Tom’s hand slides down his crack. He leans aside to reach, his fingers rubbing over Gavin’s hole. It swells through Gavin’s cock. Tom is hard against him, rock-hard, and Gavin goes with it. Arches his back and moves back against the touch. He knows Tom loves it, popping a finger up there. Thinking about fucking him.
It only takes a moment, and Tom pushes his finger into him. Gavin pauses at the sensation, cock pressed up against Tom as the finger goes up his arse, slowly. Gavin catches the look on Tom's face, the slow blink of his eyes, and it makes his own cock jump. Of course… of course Tom thinks about it. Gavin does, too. The more they keep doing this, the more Gavin thinks about Tom's cock inside him. Tom gets more lube and pushes back in, easier, much easier now, and Gavin keeps rolling against him in small thrusts. A weird feeling, every time, but it mixes with the pleasure straining through his cock. Tom kisses his shoulder, his finger moving inside him.
Gavin wants it. He’s been wanting to give it a go for a while. He knows what it makes him, what it is to take a cock up your arse. No way, he told Tom, back when it all started, when it was all new, the cottage, them. Not in a thousand years. He meant it, too, just like he means what he’s about to say now…
“Go on…” Gavin turns his head to him. “Go ahead…”
“What?”
Tom nuzzles against his shoulder, his face is sweaty, his hair stuck to his temples. And it throws Gavin off, just for a moment, how much he’s been missing him. How much he always does, all the time…
“Fuck me.”
Tom blinks at him and goes still. For all his nudgings, he didn’t see it coming, and the look on his face almost makes Gavin laugh.
“If you think I’m gonna say it again…”
“Turn around.”
There is an edge to it. Tom pulls his finger out, and Gavin rolls onto his other side, feeling the excitement hit, in his stomach, in his cock. There have been girls that let him in the back door, but none of them seemed very new to it… Tom’s hand is on his cock, and it takes him by surprise, that tight, familiar touch. Teasing his cockhead, stroking him, and Gavin goes with it, leans into it as Tom rubs his full, straining cock. He can feel him, too, pressed against his arse cheek, and Gavin wonders when they’ll start, not that he minds this… Tom’s hand moves back to his arse. In between his cheeks. Must be two fingers now, going slowly up, and along with the dull push, a hazy pleasure reaches into his cock.
“This alright?” Tom presses out, and Gavin nods.
“Yeah… yeah…”
It takes a while, and Gavin feels they’re not moving fast enough, but at last Tom pulls his fingers out. More lube, and anticipation hits again as Gavin hears him slicking up his cock. Tom’s hand, slippery and warm, slides up his back. His fingers dig into the back of his neck, and a heavy arousal washes over Gavin. He feels Tom’s cock brush against his hole, a hand spreading his cheeks.
“Alright…” Tom says.
It’s slow, stretching. Gavin finds himself freezing, it smarts… if it’s just this, he can deal with it. Tom’s hand rubs the back of his neck, and as he breathes out, Tom pushes in some more. Gavin waits, it’s probably going to be like this for a bit, and he looks down, a bit relieved to see his cock is still standing, spunk dripping out. Tom moves again. Feels hard as he’s going in. His hand caresses Gavin’s chest, and it’s there again, that weird, blurry pleasure. It travels through Gavin, and just as he wants to tug his cock to it, he feels Tom’s hand again. A lighter touch now, Tom is rubbing over Gavin’s tip, then just below, and Gavin groans at the sudden hit of pleasure. Tom keeps teasing his cock, and he moves, slowly, inside him.
“God, you feel good…”
A kiss on his shoulder. Gavin is getting used to it. Getting the hang of it. His hips begin to jerk as Tom keeps working his cock, and he feels he could come like this, after all… Slowly, Tom starts fucking into him. Breathing heavily, grunting. He is pressed against Gavin, chest to his back. His stomach shudders as he moves, wet and warm, and his legs bump against Gavin’s. It’s still slow, not Tom’s usual rhythm, let alone his own, but it works. A funny, dull feeling. Making him wince when Tom fucks deeper into him, but good, so good. Even as Tom’s fingers begin to slip over his cock, and he works Gavin a little carelessly, it’s still hot, that sloppy rolling grip over his cockhead, still enough to get him closer and closer, until Gavin can’t tell if it’s despite the cock up his arse, or because of it, or if it even matters. He reaches back, runs a hand through Tom’s wet hair, down his neck. Feels good, having him there. Getting fucked by him. Tom tightens his grip on his cock, and Gavin is getting close, so close he can taste it.
It blurs together, the thick feel of Tom’s cock, his hand over Gavin’s tip, drawing up hard pleasure. Tom is making that deep, choked sound, and Gavin knows he’s getting there, too. His head is swimming. Tom’s hips snap against him, a couple of times, and he is deep inside him, feeling bigger, fuller. He comes, jerking and pumping into him, and Gavin presses forward into his hand, into the bed, wanting to fuck, wanting to be fucked, until it shakes through him and he comes, quick and hard, too hard for a second round. Tom’s hand is on his chest, warm with his come, holding him, and Gavin grabs it, takes it in his own as they keep moving until they’re both fully spent.
“Good God…” Tom is panting, kissing his shoulder.
A different feel as he pulls out, and there is stuff coming out, trickling down between Gavin’s legs. He can’t be bothered to look. He is still buzzing, it’s all still working through him like a high that keeps on going. Tom’s leg slides against his, it feels good to lie like this, just lie here for a bit. He turns his head and looks at Tom. It’s one of those things, one of those moments he’s always gonna remember, he knows it and he runs a lazy hand down Tom’s thigh as Tom keeps stroking his hair.
After a while he needs to get up. He goes to the bathroom, takes his time, and then takes a shower. Tom pokes his head in, and Gavin watches him clean himself by the sink. A long shower, he feels heavy in a good way, refreshed. It’s not all out yet, is it? He puts on his boxers and a fresh t-shirt and opens the window, watching the steam fly out. Back in the bedroom, he finds Tom under the covers, with a book in his hand. His glasses sit on his nose, but Gavin can tell he hasn’t read a single word.
“You look happy enough,” Gavin says.
He gets a small laugh from Tom, a glance over his glasses. There’s an unspoken question there, and Gavin shrugs at him. Feels funny. Not bad, though.
He gets in, too, and sits back against the headboard. Tugging at the hem of Tom’s bathrobe, he leans over to press a kiss to his chest. Six months. Feels like nothing now… His phone buzzes. He thinks he’s heard it earlier, too, and he takes a look. Just the lab, nothing urgent. He’ll check the message tomorrow. He wonders why Tom is so sure he’ll get a call from The Firm. He didn’t mess up at the job, but does that get you on the short list?
“You don’t have to decide right away,” Tom says, nodding towards Gavin’s phone. He’s guessed his thought. “When they call, tell them you’ll think about it.”
“Think about it?”
“Ask questions. Think it through. Then decide.”
“What do you think they’ll offer me?” Gavin asks.
“I don’t know. But don’t settle for anything less than London.”
“That’s your advice then,” Gavin smiles, “play hard to get?”
“They’re spies. They like their little games… ”
“Thought you weren’t keen on me working for them?”
“I’m not.”
Gavin sets down his phone. He puts his hand under the bathrobe and strokes Tom’s chest. It’s good to be back. It’s the best thing, and he thinks about the next days. A whole weekend.
“Worked on you, didn’t it?” he says. “Me, playing hard to get.”
Tom chuckles. “Is that what you were doing?”
He keeps looking at Gavin over his glasses.
“I missed you,” he says.
It’s different hearing it, different when Tom says it. And Gavin knows… it’s not about the past six months. It’s been part of this from the beginning, the days and weeks in-between. Not having this, not as much as they want it. Even if it’s not six months, coming here always feels a bit like coming back.
“Missed you, too.”