Archive of Our Own

The worst part about his way from and to school was Thomas Greene, no doubt about it.

He had moved in down the street from Newt about two months ago, and ever since, Newt‘s life had become hell. At first, Newt had been intrigued. He had a good view of their entire street from the roof of their garage, where he spent most evenings reading or listening to music (and recently, getting high with Sonya). 

When Thomas and his family had moved in, he and Sonya had been sitting on the roof, watching them lug around heavy boxes and carry lamps, paintings and plants inside.

“He‘s hot“, Sonya had pointed out, watching Thomas wipe sweat from his forehead and tip his head back in the evening sun. As if Newt needed her to tell him.

“It is pretty warm outside.“

Sonya shoved his arm. “Shut up, Newt. You think he‘ll go to one of our schools? Maybe we should go over there, introduce ourselves.“

“Suit yourself, but I‘m staying here. Who knows, maybe they‘ll rope you into helping“, Newt scoffed, still watching the new family bustle between the house and the moving van like ants.

“Fine, I‘ll stay. Didn‘t really feel like getting up anyway“, Sonya sighed dramatically, but Newt knew she didn‘t mean it. He and Sonya rarely spent time apart if they weren‘t at school.

“Also, I don‘t think he‘s the type to go to some fancy art school, Sonne“, Newt told her. 

“You never know“, Sonya said, leaning back on her elbows. “Don‘t judge a book by it‘s cover, Newt.“

“That saying is an insult to book cover designers everywhere.“

Two days later, Sonya came busting through Newt‘s bedroom door, already opening the window that was connected to the roof before so much as saying hello. Newt put down his homework (read: doodles) and followed her outside.

“I found out his name“, she told Newt excitedly while lighting up a joint.

“What?“, Newt asked. “Who?“

Sonya motioned towards the house they had been watching a couple days ago, where Thomas was mowing the lawn. Which, really, was just cliche. And it wasn‘t even that hot today, did he really need to do it shirtless?

“That, dear brother, is Thomas Greene.“

“And I care because...?“, Newt asked, plucking the blunt from between her fingers and taking a hit.

“Because he‘s hot and we‘re going to stalk his social media“, Sonya told him matter-of-factly. 

Newt sighed, watching Sonya tap away on her phone like it was an olympic sport and she was going for gold.

“How did you even find out his name? I thought he wasn’t going to go to your school, I saw him at the principal‘s office with his Dad the other day.“

“Yeah, turns out he really isn‘t the artistic type.“

“Shocker. Also, I told you so.“

“You know, saying that makes you even more unattractive“, Sonya said flippantly.

“We have the same face, you moron!“

“Please, that‘s only what Mum and Dad tell you to make you feel better. I‘m clearly the cute twin.“

“The evil one, too“, Newt muttered, but was drowned out by Sonya crowing in victory.

“Found him!“

“Let me see“, Newt demanded, shuffling closer to peer into her phone.

They scrolled through Thomas‘ Instagram page, but really, there wasn‘t much variety.

“Oh my God! He‘s one of those types“, Newt moaned.

All the pictures were taken from the same angle, which, to be fair, was very flattering for Thomas (was there even one that wouldn‘t be? There had to be, right?). A fair number of them were also taken at some type of outside gym and tagged with... oh Lord. 

#beastmode

“Why are the hot ones always dumb?“, Newt lamented, now lying down.

“I have to say, it‘s not looking good“, Sonya admitted, still scrolling. “Seems to be the same type as-“

“Shut up, Sonne!“

“Sorry“, she apologized, sheepishly slipping her phone into her pocket. “He who must not be named.“

“You know, likening my ex to Voldemort doesn‘t make it a lot better.“

“Sorry“, she said again, this time rolling her eyes at him. “Are you just going to put off talking about this for forever?“

“Nothing to talk about“, Newt told her, going for nonchalant, but ending up with pained. “I thought we were exclusive, he obviously didn‘t, we stopped... whatever it was. That‘s all.“

“C‘mon, Newt“, Sonya begged, stretching her arm to pet his shoulder, but Newt dodged her.

“Actually, I‘m done talking about this.“ He got up. “I have homework to do, so...“ He trailed off, gesturing towards the window to his room.

“I‘m sorry Newt, really. I didn‘t mean to bring it up“, Sonya said, eyes round, pleading for forgiveness.

“It‘s fine“, Newt waved her off and went back to his room through the window, clearly not having convinced his twin, because she kept looking at him through the glass.

Newt drew the curtains shut.

His first actual conversation with Thomas didn‘t happen until a week after that.

Thomas had started school that Monday, and of course it was all anyone talked about. Thankfully, he was only in two of Newt‘s classes (English and Science, forever ruined), but even at lunch, no one seemed to be able to shut up about the new guy.

“I mean, seriously“, Brenda gushed. “I‘m as gay as they come, but you have to admit, he is hot.“

“I have to do no such thing“, Newt told her through a mouth of what the school called a burger and what Newt called disgusting.

Brenda rolled her eyes at him. “I get it, he reminds you of- OW! What the hell was that for?“, she cut herself off, rubbing her shin.

“What?“, Newt asked feigning innocence. 

“Guys“, Gally chastised, finally speaking up as well. “Can you stop acting like children?“

He pointedly ignored both Newt and Brenda yelling about how the other had started it.

“For the record, I don‘t like him either“, Gally continued. “His locker is next to mine and I overheard him collecting four phone numbers in the span of ten minutes.“

“So? Maybe he‘s trying to make friends“, Brenda argued. “That‘s not illegal, is it?“

It was Newt‘s turn to roll his eyes. “How are people always so forgiving just because someone is attractive?“, he asked, exasperatedly putting the rest of his ‘burger‘ down. He had lost his appetite.

“See, you said it! He‘s good looking“, Brenda yelled, pointing her finger at him, drawing the attention of people sitting close by.

Newt briefly considered slamming either his or Brenda‘s head on the table. “That is the point you‘re taking from what I said?“

He scanned the room for Thomas, immediately finding him sat at a table with... of course. Minho, star of the track team.

“Fine, I‘ll admit he‘s very hot. Still, he‘s obviously a fuckboy.“

“So?“, Brenda asked again. “I see why he would be, he obviously can. How‘s it your business?“

“It‘s not, and I‘m not making it my business! That‘s exactly my point!“, Newt shot back, getting agitated. “I don‘t want anything to do with him, so can we please talk about something else now?“

Both Gally and Brenda shot him a look. He knew that look all too well by now, and he despised it. The look said I‘m sorry for reminding you about your boyfriend cheating on you after three months of dating, and I‘m sorry you‘re still hurt by it after another three.

Really, if Newt never saw that look again in his life, it was too soon.

“Stop it“, Newt grumbled and started picking the loaf of his ‘burger‘ into small pieces. “I‘m not about to crack or anything, you don‘t have to walk on eggshells around me.“

“Just now you kicked me for almost saying his name, I think it‘s fair to say you‘re a little fragile“, Brenda remarked huffily.

“Shut up, Brenda“, Gally hissed and gave her a stern look. Which, really, could have been any look on Gally‘s face.

The rest of lunch passed by with Brenda and Gally making conversation and Newt pointedly not looking at Thomas.

Only when the bell rang, signaling for them to return to their classes, he looked up, accidentally catching Thomas‘ eye across the cafeteria.

Which was a stupid coincidence, and Newt hated his life. What were the chances, right? Well, for Newt Ross, probably a hundred percent.

Thomas, the fucker, smiled at Newt, looking him up and down quickly and then- honest to God- winked at him. 

Newt‘s mouth fell open because who did that? Who, in real life, did that? He wanted to maybe stick his tongue out at Thomas, or flip him off, but before he had the chance, Thomas had already turned. Damn it.

When his classes had finally ended, Newt was ready to go home and spend the rest of his day whining to Sonya about it. But the universe had other things planned for him, because halfway home, he heard footsteps fast approaching behind him. He checked the reflection off his phone to look over his shoulder and caught a mop of brown hair. Great.

Thomas strongly smelled of cologne. Newt didn‘t know which one it was, but it smelled spicy and like something his Dad would wear, not a teenage boy. It also smelled good, but Newt tried not to think about this. After all, colognes were meant to do that.

“Saw you looking at me earlier“, were Thomas‘ first words to him. “I‘m Thomas.“

“No you didn‘t, and I know“, Newt said and increased his pace. 

“Oh, but I did“, Thomas repeated. “You were looking all hot and bothered, too, if I remember correctly.“

“Well, the bothered part sounds right.“

Thomas let out a surprised laugh.

Newt chanced a look at him from his periphery, and saw Thomas watching him with an incredulous grin. Up close he could see the freckles and moles that dotted his face, and the way his lips curved was adorable, even if it was annoying.

Damn him and his perfect, dumb face.

“I like you, you‘re feisty“, he told Newt. “Also, your accent is hot.“

Newt stumbled. Embarrassed, he picked up his speed again, trying to get home as fast as possible to avoid Thomas and his flirting.

For a while, they walked in silence, and though Newt hadn‘t managed to make him go away, he hoped he at least made him shut up.

No such luck.

“So, you live on my street?“

“Your street?“, Newt couldn‘t help asking. “Bit presumptuous to call it that when you‘ve lived there for a week, don‘t you think? And how do you know where I live?“

Thomas merely shrugged, grin still firm in place. “You mean apart from the fact that we‘re taking the same turns? I was walking behind you on the way to school this morning. Pretty nice view, too.“

It took every ounce of self control in Newt not to smack him on the head.

“That‘s super creepy“, he said instead, his house finally coming into view. Salvation!

“Meh“, Thomas said. “What‘s wrong with appreciating the finer things in life?“

Newt turned fully toward him, giving him his best sarcastic smile. “I‘d love to explain this to you, really, but this is my house, so... bye!“

He crossed the street without looking, barely stopping himself from running to his front door. Once he got inside, he leaned against it. “Damn you Thomas Greene, and your stupidly pretty eyes.“

“Newt honey, are you talking to someone?“, his mother called from the kitchen.

“No, Mum!“ He made a detour to greet his parents, then went upstairs, stopping at Sonya‘s door. He knocked, but didn‘t wait for her to answer. “Roof!“, he called, sticking his head inside and immediately pulling it back into the hallway when Sonya lobbed a shoe at it.

“Wait until I tell you to come in, you wanker!“

Still, five minutes later the twins were sat on the roof, Newt telling Sonya about his horrible day.

His sister, however, didn‘t seem to find it all that bad.

“So what, he flirted with you. Someone call the police, a cute boy expressed interest in you!“

Newt shot her a death glare. “Yes, in me and about ten other people today alone!“

“Ugh, I can‘t with you sometimes!“, Sonya exclaimed. “Just stop whining. He flirted, you basically told him to fuck off, end of story. Worse things have happened.“

“That they have“, Newt agreed.

“Are you seriously still moping about this? I get that it was harsh, but don‘t you think it‘s time to move on?“

Newt frowned at her. “It wasn‘t that long ago“, he said defensively. 

“It‘s been three months, Newt!“, Sonya cried, throwing her arms up in the air. “You need to forget about this, or you‘ll never be able to let it go. Maybe“, she continued, her expression turning pondering, “you should go out with Thomas. You know, find a rebound.“

“He doesn‘t want to go out, Sonne“, Newt reminded her. “He just wants to fuck.“

Sonya didn‘t bat an eye. “Maybe that would be good for you. Have you even been with anyone since... you know who?“

“Alright, that‘s it. I‘m not talking about this with you!“, Newt exclaimed, shaking his head furiously. 

“So you‘re just going to avoid any conversation about this for forever?“, Sonya asked accusingly.

“Sounds like a plan to me.“

It was Sonya‘s turn to do a death glare. It was slightly watered down by her nose scrunching up, but still effective.

“Sonne“, Newt relented. “Even if I were to start dating someone to get over it, it sure as hell wouldn‘t be him. What good would it do me to go from one fuckboy to the next?“

“That‘s fair“, Sonya conceded. “Still, I think it‘s high time you forget about that maggot of a man. He‘s already wasted six months of your life, are you really going to let him waste more?“

Newt hated how right she was. “I‘m trying, I promise. Not with him, though.“

“I really couldn‘t care less about Thomas right now, Newt.“

At least Newt could agree wholeheartedly with that.

He was up ten minutes earlier than usual the next morning, hoping to leave before Thomas so he could at least avoid him on his morning walk to school. It worked, but Newt still kept checking over his shoulder every ten seconds.

“What‘s going on with you this morning? Did you start dealing drugs now?“, Brenda greeted him when he reached the schoolyard.

“What?“, Newt asked, still half expecting Thomas to pop up next to him like some annoying jack-in-the-box.

“You look shifty“, Gally spelled it out for him. “Like you‘re on the run or something.“

“No, I‘m fine. Normal. Like usual“, Newt lied and didn‘t wait for his friends‘ response to head inside. 

Feeling like he could finally breathe free, he plunked into his seat for History class. A class without Thomas was a good class.

The day passed much in the same fashion, Newt getting jumpy and nervously eyeing his surroundings as soon as he wasn‘t in class, keeping an eye out for brown hair and a freckled face.

He made it to English class without running into Thomas, and rushed inside the room as fast as he could, hoping to snatch a seat in the back before he would come in.

But it was too late. Thomas was already sat in the third row next to Minho, one arm around a girl. That was fast. And hadn‘t the girl been cuddling with Minho just the other week? Well, who was Newt to judge. Good for her, honestly.

Trying not to draw attention to himself, he passed the third row, making his way to the last free seat behind them. He tensed, waiting for Thomas, or possibly Minho, to make some type of comment, but nothing came.

Of course. Newt shook his head as he sat down. Why would they even say anything? And when had Newt become conceited enough to believe himself to get special attention from someone like Thomas? He had tried his luck and struck out, why should he waste any more time on Newt? There was a plethora of other students willing to give him their time of day.

Angry with himself for even thinking Thomas might have said something, Newt got out his material for class. 

The next ninety minutes passed by like sludge. Newt was trying to concentrate, he really was, but kept getting distracted. Thomas could apparently not sit still, either jiggling his leg or playing with the cord of his sweater (which looked ridiculously good on him, considering it was a plain blue sweater). At one point he started chewing on the end of his pencil and Newt thought he might have an aneurysm.

What irked him most of all though was Thomas‘ arm slung over the back of the girl‘s chair, and him bending to whisper into her ear every few minutes. He kept loosing focus every time he heard the low murmur of Thomas‘ voice, and really, how was he supposed to pay attention like this?

His teacher called him out for spacing out not one, but two times and by the end of the lesson, Newt was practically burning holes in Thomas‘ skull he was glaring so hard.

Thomas, of course, didn‘t notice.

Shoving his school supplies into his bag as quickly as possible, Newt stood to leave. At least now that he had found someone else to shower with his affections, Thomas would leave him alone. That was a good thing.

Feeling a bit better about the ordeal, Newt started his way home, plugging in his earbuds and nodding along in the beat of the music.

Brenda and Gally were coming over that night to watch a movie, and with Thomas being off somewhere else, he allowed a small spring in his step. He could (probably) do this, right? He‘d just make sure to avoid Thomas and his stupidly hot exterior (and very dumb and annoying interior, Newt reminded himself) and he‘d be fine. He wouldn‘t ever have to think of him again.

An arm was slung around his shoulders and Newt jumped about a foot into the air, letting out a highly undignified shriek. 

“Bloody hell!“

Thomas- because of course, who else could it be- was busy laughing his ass off. Shame, Newt thought. It was a nice ass, even if the owner was an idiot.

“Oh my God, your face!“, he giggled. “That was the funniest thing I‘ve ever seen.“

Newt frowned so hard he could feel his face muscles protesting.

“Go away.“

“Awww, c‘mon, don‘t be like that. I‘m sorry for spooking you, but you didn‘t react when I called your name.“

Newt dangled his earphones, that had gotten dislodged when he‘d jumped, in front of Thomas‘ face.

“How‘d you even know my name? Are you stalking me?“, he asked, then mentally kicked himself for opening a conversation instead of stuffing his earbuds back in and running away.

“I asked Minho“, Thomas said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “And even if I hadn‘t, our teacher said it about a thousand times in class today when you weren‘t paying attention.“

“I was paying attention!“, Newt fumed. “I was just... nevermind, just shut up.“

Thomas grinned at him. “Distracted, huh? Bet I can guess by what. Are you the jealous type, Newt?“

Newt rolled his eyes, then rolled them again when Thomas only raised his eyebrows in response. “No, more the type who‘s not into gross PDA.“

“You think that was PDA?“, Thomas asked, sounding disbelieving. “You‘re either very dramatic or very innocent.“

Newt, who was getting more sick of this interaction by the second, turned towards Thomas with as much of a death glare as he could muster.

“Listen, Thomas. I don‘t know why you keep bothering me, but I. don‘t. want. to. talk. to. you“, Newt ground out, punctuating each word with a poke to Thomas‘ shoulder. “So please, just leave me alone.“

Thomas‘ expression wavered and for a second Newt dared to hope that he had gotten through to him and would finally have his peace.

“Nah, I think you like me.“

Newt was going to kill him. He was going to murder him and probably not even be found guilty once he told the judge about Thomas.

“See you tomorrow“, Thomas added, winked at Newt and then sauntered off down the street towards his house.

Newt stayed put, as if glued to the spot. Had that just happened? Even the relief he would‘ve felt at Thomas leaving was swallowed up by the sheer rage of not being taken seriously. He felt the urge to yell (preferably at Thomas), or throw rocks at something (preferably Thomas).

“And then he just left, like I didn‘t just clearly tell him to fuck off!“

“Well“, Brenda said from where she was perched on the armrest of the Ross‘ couch. “I have to admit, that‘s either pretty fucking dense or pretty fucking rude.“

Newt was still so mad he couldn‘t even enjoy the fact that he had kind of gotten Brenda to admit he had been right.

Gally was lounging on the couch, only half paying attention to Newt, who was pacing up and down. Instead, his focus lay behind Newt, on the television, where some kind of action movie was playing. “Like I said, that guy‘s a douche. Now shut up, I wanna listen!“

“Gally, this exact movie has been made about a hundred times, with the exact same dialogue and plot. Without ever having seen it, I can tell you there will be an explosion in the next minute“, Newt groused. Behind him, an explosion went off.

“Coincidence“, Gally protested half-heartedly.

“It wasn‘t and you know it. Now shut up and listen to me complain.“

Lucky for Gally and Brenda, it was at this exact moment that the front door opened and Newt‘s mother came in, Sonya in tow. Both were carrying the grocery shopping, half hidden behind the brown paper bags.

Gally and Brenda took that out, leaping up to help.

“Your friends are so nice“, Newt‘s mother fawned once they had all settled in the kitchen, watching Newt and Sonya help prepare dinner.

“Questionable“, Newt mumbled.

Later, when everyone, including Sonya, had gathered in Newt‘s room, Newt had calmed down a bit. That was, until Brenda decided to bring up Thomas once again.

“Why don‘t you just fuck him?“

Everyone halted in what they were doing (Sonya lighting up a spliff, Gally typing on his phone, Newt with his hand on the way to his mouth).

“Come again?“

“I mean, if he‘s that good“, Brenda teased, ignoring Newt‘s enraged frown. “But for real. You obviously think he‘s bangable, so why not just do it?“

“That‘s what I said“, Sonya chimed in, obviously happy that someone was seeing things her way.

“Alright“, Newt started, having reached the end of his tether. “I will say this once, and then we will never speak of it again.“ He waited for everyone to nod before he continued. “I was with... with Danny. He cheated, because he was a cookie cutter fuckboy and that‘s what they do. I was upset. You think I should shag Thomas, an exact replica of that bugger, to get over it. Have I got that right so far?“

Everyone exchanged guilty looks.

“Yeah, no. I don‘t want to do that, and I‘m not going to. Now can we please drop it?“

His friends nodded in unison.

“Now stop looking like I kicked your puppy and pass me the gummy bears, you tossers.“

Much to Newt‘s chagrin, Thomas didn‘t stop pestering him, even after he‘d told him to lay off. He seemed to be entirely convinced that Newt enjoyed their interactions during their walks home (or to school, because Newt wasn‘t about to get up earlier every day just so he could avoid Thomas when he‘d have to deal with him either way).

It was Newt‘s own fault, really, because he kept steadily taking the bait and talking to Thomas, instead of just ignoring him. He was hard to ignore on a good day, and Newt couldn‘t help himself, Thomas just got a rise out of him.

It had been almost a month since Thomas‘ family had moved in. That meant a lot of walks, that all went pretty much the same. Thomas would flirt, Newt would tell him to get lost. Thomas didn‘t get lost, Newt felt the strong urge to kick him. Newt got angry at himself for noticing how incredibly attractive Thomas was, Newt wanted to kick himself even more.

(“I like that whole skater look thing you‘ve got going on, by the way. Suits you.“

“I don‘t have a thing going on, this is just how I dress.“

“Really? So the ripped jeans, the beanie and the band shirts are not carefully picked out to make people want to rip them off?“

“You were looking at me again today.“

“I wasn‘t, you‘re just delusional, Tommy.“

“You gave me a nickname? And you say you don‘t like me!“

“That was condescending, not affectionate.“

“Sure it was, Newtie.“

“If you call me that again, I will pluck out one of your eyebrows in your sleep.“

“You‘re welcome in my bedroom any time.“

“You look beautiful today!“

“You‘re as annoying as always.“

“I love it when you sweet talk me.“)

The worst part about it was when Newt woke one morning, went about his routine as usual, and found himself smiling at the thought of what Thomas would come up with today. When he realized, he nearly spit his cheerios all over Sonya.

“Oh my God“, Newt whispered to himself in horror. “This can‘t be happening. Sonne, pinch me.“

Sonya complied without asking, or even looking up from her textbook (just sibling things, Newt guessed).

But even the pinching didn‘t help. He was definitely awake, and he had definitely just been smiling to himself because he was looking forward to his banter with Tommy. 

This was bad. 

In a daze, he grabbed his bag and started his walk to school. He couldn‘t like talking to Thomas! Thomas was a heartbreaker (Newt had overheard enough conversations in the hallways to know). He was also annoying and forward and cocksure and really pretty, with his amber eyes and freckles and- fuck!

“Hey there, sweetheart. You got a permit for that ass? Because it‘s da bomb.“

Newt was so busy freaking out, he had no time to react to that truly awful line.

“What, nothing at all? C‘mon, I googled that, just for you!“ Thomas, who had now caught up to him, made a pouting face. It looked stupidly adorable.

Newt took in his disheveled hair and clothes that looked like he‘d just picked them off the floor and thrown them on. The collar of his flannel was flipped up on one side, and Newt paled at the urge to reach out and fix it.

“Did you oversleep?“, he asked dumbly. 

“Yeah“, Thomas replied, grinning. “Came home late, had to sneak in through the bathroom window.“

Newt knew what that meant, of course. He was acutely aware of the fact that Thomas was sleeping with a lot of people. It was, after all, the reason he had been trying to stay away from him. Why he wasn‘t anymore, or when he had stopped, he had no idea.

“Congrats“, he told Thomas, voice dead. “What the fuck are we doing?“

Thomas cocked his head. “Walking to school?“

Newt fought down a grin. When had he started grinning at Thomas‘ jokes? And why the hell was he only noticing it now?

“Obviously, you dumbass. No, I mean, what are we doing?“ Newt gestured between them like it would explain.

Looking even more confused than before, Thomas looked at him. “Sorry, I don‘t get it“, he said, still inspecting Newt as if he might suddenly grow a second head.

“This“, Newt exploded, gesturing more wildly now. “You, me, talking every day. Why?“

“Uh“, Thomas said. He looked at Newt uncertainly. “We‘re... friends, I guess. Right?“

“Friends? You and me?“

Thomas‘ shoulders went stiff and he turned away quickly, his eyes focussing on the pavement. “Nevermind“, he mumbled. “That was stupid.“

It dawned on Newt that Thomas had been serious. Not only that, he was genuinely, actually hurt by Newt‘s reaction. And even more peculiar (though Newt shouldn‘t be surprised, after all this morning had been one of odd revelations), Newt felt bad for reacting the way he had, because it had clearly upset Thomas.

“No, Tommy, I‘m sorry“, Newt blurted, no idea where he was going with this, but speaking up anyway.

Thomas perked up at the use of his nickname, because of course Newt had unknowingly given him a nickname. His eyes searched Newt‘s face again and Newt fought to return his gaze and not look away from the intensity.

“I- We are. Friends. I guess, at least. I didn‘t think you wanted to be my friend, to be honest.“

Thomas‘ smile returned full force. “Well, duh. I wouldn‘t say no to, what do you call it? Shagging?“, he said in an imitation of Newt‘s accent.

Newt cringed. “I‘m begging you to never do that again.“

“Fine“, Thomas agreed readily. “But yeah, of course I want to be your friend. I don‘t just talk to you because I‘d love to see what your jizzface looks like, you know.“

“Could‘ve fooled me“, Newt snorted, forever taken aback by Thomas‘ sheer honesty. It was a quality that he‘d found horrible at first, but if he was honest with himself, he also admired it. At least Thomas said what he thought, even if it turned out to be rather dirty most of the time.

“So we‘re friends?“, Thomas asked again, still beaming at Newt.

“We are“, Newt replied with a sigh. “Lord help me, we are.“

He could do this, right? Being friends with Tommy was okay. That didn‘t mean he‘d sleep with him, so he was fine. And really, Thomas was an alright bloke. Kind of. As long as they were friends, Newt had nothing to worry about.

“I still can‘t believe you‘re friends with your arch nemesis“, Sonya cackled one Friday afternoon, perched on the roof next to Newt as always. 

“I never said he was my arch nemesis, Sonne!“, Newt protested. He wasn‘t that dramatic, thankyouverymuch.

“But you were very adamant about not liking him“, Sonya reminded him.

“I still don‘t like him“, Newt huffed. “He just kinda... wormed his way into being my friend. He‘s very persistent.“

“You don‘t say“, his sister giggled. “It‘s almost like I haven‘t spent the past five weeks listening to you complain that he won‘t stop talking to you.“

Newt didn‘t dignify that with a response, instead stretching out on the warm tiles of the roof.

For a while, he and Sonya just passed the joint back and forth, enjoying the last rays of the spring sun.

“Hey, you two!“

Both Sonya and Newt shuffled forward, trying to see who was on the street, calling up to them.

“Tommy?“

Thomas stood in their front yard, squinting up at them against the sunlight. “Got room for one more up there?“

“Why are you here?“, Newt asked instead of replying.

Thomas shrugged. “It just occurred to me that we never had a conversation that wasn‘t on our way to school or back home.“

“So you took it upon yourself to rectify that situation?“

Thomas shrugged again. “Can I come up or not?“

“I‘m not going back inside to open the door for you.“

He couldn‘t quite make it out from his position on the roof, but he was sure he‘d heard Thomas laugh quietly. Then the other boy turned, seemingly heading back towards his own house.

“Good job, Newt. You scared him off“, Sonya chastised. “No wonder you only have two friends.“

Newt felt guilty for about a second, but then saw Thomas not walk off down the street but start climbing up the tree next to their garage.

“What is he doing?“, Sonya yelled when she caught on, too. “He‘s going to break all his bones!“

“Not my problem.“

“It will be when Mom and Dad make you scratch him off our yard.“

Meanwhile, Thomas had made his way quite far up the tree. Both Ross twins were watching in awe when he managed to reach the roof, panting but otherwise unharmed.

“Wow, you really want to hang out with Newt, huh?“, Sonya murmured, offering Thomas a hand to pull him up to where she and Newt were sitting.

“Kind of“, Thomas agreed, still breathing heavily. “I‘m starting to wonder why, though, seeing as he‘s such a bitch.“

“You‘re free to leave“, Newt told him, unaffected. 

“After I‘ve climbed up that damn tree? No thanks, I think I‘ll stay here. If not for you, then for your lovely sister.“ He shot Sonya a grin that seemed to have about a thousand watt.

Sonya laughed at that, patting Thomas‘ shoulder. “Valiant effort, love, but I‘m not interested.“

“I‘ve changed minds before“, Thomas claimed, nodding his head towards Newt proudly.

“Actually, you didn‘t“, Newt argued immediately.

“Well, you said we were friends and you have yet to kick me off this roof, so I‘m counting that as a win.“

“I still can‘t believe you two are actual friends“, Sonya giggled again. 

Newt grumbled something under his breath.

“What can I say? I can be very charming“, Thomas said, again giving Sonya a smile, this time with an added wink.

“Oh, he‘s adorable“, Sonya snickered at Newt. “But seriously, I‘m not interested.“

“I have time to convince you of the opposite“, Thomas said, again so sure of himself Newt had to fight a smile.

“Okay“, Sonya agreed. “I‘ll let you know once I‘m not a lesbian anymore. That sound good to you?“

Thomas mouth dropped open and it looked so comical that both Newt and Sonya burst out laughing, leaning on each other for support.

“Oh shit, I‘m so sorry!“, Thomas apologized, looking panicked. “I didn‘t mean to imply- I‘m not one of those guys, I promise. I just didn‘t know!“

When she had calmed down enough to have enough air to form a sentence, Sonya waved him off. “Don‘t worry about it“, she reassured, wiping tears from her eyes. “I know you didn‘t mean it like that, and that look on your face just now was hilarious.“

Thomas looked immensely relieved.

Newt, who was still shaking with laughter, would have felt bad for him, if he hadn‘t been so sure of himself earlier. Served him right for thinking he was irresistible.

Sonya took a last drag of the spliff, then handed it off to Newt. “This was fun, boys, but I have plans to go to the cinema tonight, so I‘ll go get ready. Don‘t push him off the roof, I won‘t visit you in prison“, she warned.

“I would“, Thomas chimed in. “I bet you‘d look smokin‘ in orange.“

Newt sent a pleading look at his sister, who was already inside his room. “Don‘t leave me here with him“, he begged, reaching out a hand for her.

“You‘ll be fine. If he takes it too far, at least make it look like an accident.“ With that she spun around, leaving Newt alone with Thomas.

Thomas had been right, this was their first interaction outside of their daily commute. What was he even supposed to say now?

“So“, Thomas said. “You come here a lot?“

“This is my house, Tommy.“

Thomas laughed, leaning his head back. “I meant your roof. You come up here often?“

Newt exhaled, letting the smoke leave his lungs after he‘d taken another hit.

He could feel Thomas‘ eyes on him as he did it and offered him the spliff as a distraction. Thomas took it and Newt tried hard not to think about the fact that Thomas‘ lips now were where his own had been only seconds ago.

“Yeah, Sonne and I hang out here.“

“Man, that‘s cool. I wish I got along with my sister like that.“

“Why don‘t you?“, Newt asked, only after the words had already left his mouth realizing that maybe Thomas didn‘t want to talk about it. “Sorry, I shouldn‘t have-“

“No, it‘s fine. She‘s a year older than me, and thinks that makes her way more grown up and responsible. We used to be close, but then she became a narc and now we kinda hate each other“, Thomas rambled. “That‘s why I gotta sneak in through the bathroom window instead of the one to my room. Bathroom is at the other end of the hall, but our rooms are next to each other, so if Teresa hears me come in she‘ll go and tell our parents.“

“Sorry about that“, Newt said, but it came out more surly than he‘d intended. “Maybe you should try not staying out as late.“

Thomas considered him for a moment. “You know, I always meant to ask“, he said then, leaning forward to bring his face level to Newt‘s. “What exactly is your problem with that?“

“I have no problem with the time you get home“, Newt tried to joke, but even to his own ears it fell flat.

“No, but you obviously have some kind of problem with me sleeping around. But if you do, why are we friends?“

Newt thought that even the last part of that would be a very good question on its own.

“I don‘t have a problem with it“, he insisted, trying his hardest not to waver under the intense scrutiny of Thomas‘ gaze.

“Come on, Newt“, Thomas sighed. “It‘s clear you get miffed every time I mention it, so just tell me why.“

Newt stubbornly stayed silent.

Frustratedly, Thomas sat up fully and turned his body towards Newt. “I‘ve thought about it, but I don‘t get it. I thought maybe I‘d gone home with someone you had a crush on, but I never actually told you names and you always react the same way anyways. Then I thought that maybe you‘re jealous, but that doesn‘t make sense either, because if you actually wanted to sleep with me, it‘s not like you didn‘t have the opportunity.“

“You‘ve actually thought about this that much?“ Newt knew it was stupid, but he felt oddly touched at the thought of Thomas worrying about what Newt thought of him.

“Obviously“, Thomas huffed. 

Once he got how much this had been bothering him, Newt tried to take a page out of Thomas‘ book and go with complete honesty.

“I really don‘t resent you for sleeping around. That‘s your business, and whoever you are in bed with. Maybe I did kind of hate you, at the start. Or, not you, I guess. It‘s just that you remind me of someone I hated“, Newt admitted, fiddling with the butt of the joint before throwing it off the roof.

“Was that why you kept telling me to ‘piss off‘?“, Thomas wanted to know, once again having a go at Newt‘s accent.

“I thought I told you to never do that again“, Newt chuckled. “Yeah, it was“, he then continued. “You were like a carbon copy of that someone, and then you started hitting on me, and I just really didn‘t want to get involved. I don‘t care how many people you‘re sleeping with, as long as I don‘t have to be one of them.“

“Wow, Newt. Way to make a guy feel attractive“, Thomas laughed.

“Oh please, if anything your ego could use a few more hits.“

„Yeah, you‘re right“, Thomas replied, grinning. “Sorry about not backing off when you told me to, by the way. I really thought you were just playing hard to get, at first. I should‘ve listened to you.“

“Yeah, you should‘ve“, Newt agreed. “Kind of glad you didn‘t, though. Maybe don’t make it a habit with other people.“

Thomas beamed and Newt could see the dimples forming, could see the way Thomas‘ eyes crinkled and lit up. He had been aware of how close Thomas was sitting the entire time, because despite himself he still found him ridiculously attractive, but it still shocked him when he realized that they had both inched closer.

Thomas‘ eyes flitted down to his mouth and Newt stopped breathing. Maybe he should look away? That seemed to be a good idea. So why wouldn‘t his eyes turn away from Thomas‘ face?

“Newt, I think you need to breathe“, Thomas murmured, moving even closer.

“Yeah, probably“, Newt exhaled. Then inhaled, finally getting some much needed oxygen into his lungs. It didn‘t seem to help his brain, however, because he didn‘t move away.

He nearly fell off the roof when a knock startled him. Next to him, Thomas moved his head back so quickly Newt wondered how he didn‘t get whiplash.

The knock had come from Newt‘s window, where his mother stood. “Hello, sorry, am I interrupting?“

“No, not at all“, Newt assured, voice having gone up an octave.

“Dinner‘s ready in ten minutes.“ She looked at Thomas, then at Newt again, who remained speechless.

“Hi“, Thomas said (had his voice sounded raspy before?). “I‘m Thomas Greene, my family lives down the street“, he introduced himself, obviously taking the hint Newt wasn‘t going to.

“Oh, you‘re the family with the lovely young lady that came by with cookies the other week?“, Newt‘s mother asked.

Under normal circumstances, Newt would‘ve asked about the cookies and why he hadn‘t known about them, but his thoughts were still spinning. Why the hell hadn‘t he moved away?

“No, we only have an insufferable young girl, sorry.“

Newt‘s Mum laughed at that, interpreting it as a joke. Newt knew it had only been half of one.

“Are you staying for dinner, Thomas?“

“No, sorry. I‘d love to, but my parents asked me to be home for dinner, so I actually have to go.“

Newt wasn‘t sure if that was the truth or an excuse, but he didn‘t really care. He could not, under any circumstances, sit through dinner with Thomas and his family after what had just happened.

“Alright then. Newt, be down in a few minutes, yeah?“

He nodded in response and waited for his Mum to leave before looking at Thomas for the first time since the interruption.

“So...“, he trailed off.

“I‘m not taking the same way down that I came up“, Thomas stated, then started shuffling towards Newt‘s window.

Newt clambered into his room behind Thomas, trying to shove some clothes under his bed with his foot without Thomas noticing.

“I can‘t believe I‘m finally in your room and it isn‘t to ravish you“, Thomas complained after a beat.

Newt burst out laughing. Suddenly, everything was back to normal.

“If Minho ever finds out about this, I‘ll never hear the end of it“, Thomas lamented. “He‘s already making fun of me.“

“You talk to Minho about me?“, Newt asked, incredulous.

“Of course. Who else would I complain to about that hot blond who won‘t let me get into his pants?“

Newt rolled his eyes.

“Don‘t you talk to your friends about me?“, Thomas asked, feigning hurt.

“To complain about you, sure“, Newt answered truthfully.

“See, we‘re not so different“, Thomas cheered, nudging Newt with his shoulder. “Anyway, I really should go now. I actually have to be home for dinner.“

Newt showed him the way to the door, awkwardly hovering in the frame once Thomas was stood outside.

Thomas seemed to feel none of the strange tension. “See ya Monday“, he told Newt as he made his way down the street. And just before Newt closed the door, he called, “Wear something cute!“

Monday rolled around and this morning, Newt was stood outside his door, waiting for Thomas. On purpose. What had his life come to?

“I see you took my request to heart“, Thomas greeted him as Newt crossed the street and fell into step next to him.

Newt raised his eyebrows quizzically. “What request?“

“To wear something cute. You look hot.“ Thomas made a show of looking him up and down.

Newt shoved him a little, instantly getting shoved back.

“So, how was the rest of your weekend?“

Newt sighed. “Boring. I did school work and had to listen to Sonya rant about this girl she‘s been seeing, which would‘ve been fine if it hadn‘t been the same story picked apart four separate times.“

Thomas laughed at him. “Yeah, sounds like lots of fun.“

They walked to school like every day, and even kept up a somewhat normal, civil conversation that was only interrupted by Thomas throwing in shrewd lines a few times.

The next two weeks went by like that, Thomas and Newt still walked together every day, instead of Thomas flirting it was real conversations, and Newt found himself enjoying Thomas‘ company more and more. Which was fine, because they were friends.

Thomas hadn‘t been back at Newt‘s house, and Newt certainly hadn‘t been at Thomas‘, but with the way things went that last time, Newt thought it might be best that way.

He was late for lunch. He‘d had to bring some of his books to his locker, because they were way too heavy to lug around all day. 

When he finally entered the cafeteria, he could see someone retreating from their usual table. Blue shirt, pitch black coiffed hair- was that Minho Park? Star of the track team and one of the most popular guys in school (and also a friend of Thomas‘, his brain supplied helpfully).

Both Brenda and Gally wore gobsmacked expressions as he sat down.

“I think that was the strangest interaction I‘ve ever had“, Brenda muttered, mouth hanging half open.

“What happened?“, Newt asked, immensely curios. Seeing Brenda speechless was a rare occurrence. Come to think of it, he probably had never witnessed this happening, and he was itching to know what Minho could have said. Maybe to use in the future.

“Minho Park just invited us to a party“, Brenda revealed, looking like instead of Minho she‘d just talked to her dead grandmother.

Gally nodded solemnly, then busied himself with his food.

“He just came over here, sat down like we‘d been friends forever- I‘m pretty sure he knows neither of our names, by the way- and then asked us to come to his party on Friday. Gave us the address and everything.“ 

Now it was Newt’s turn to look surprised. “Why would he do that?“

Both of his friends looked at him like he had hit his head.

“What? I‘ve never spoken to him either!“

“I‘m guessing it has something to do with your new friend“, Gally remarked, the word friend sounding like it tasted sour and bitter at the same time. “Because he said, and I quote, to bring that hot blond Thomas is always yammering on about.“

Newt choked on his own spit. His head whipped to where he knew Thomas was sitting with Minho, only to find both boys watching their table without trying to hide that they were.

He raised his eyebrows at Thomas and mouthed “a party?“.

Both Thomas and Minho grinned enthusiastically, Minho nodding and Thomas giving two thumbs ups.

Newt turned back to his friends, expression now equally as bewildered as theirs had been a few moments ago.

“So. We‘re invited to a Minho Park party.“

“Duh“, Brenda said, rolling her eyes.

“Just to be clear, we‘re not going, right?“

Brenda punched his shoulder (hard). “Oh, we‘re going. I don‘t care if you hide in the bathroom the entire night, but I‘m not missing out on this. It‘s going to be awesome!“

Newt looked to Gally for help, but he just shrugged. “I don‘t feel like going either, but talking Brenda out of it would be way more effort than to just get it over with, so let‘s just go and then leave again after an hour or so.“

“You guys are no fun!“, Brenda complained. “Come on, it‘ll be great. Newt, it‘s not like you disliked parties before, and Gally, you always complain and then you end up having fun anyway. Stop being lame.“

The boys shared a look in commiseration, but both had to admit that Brenda was right.

Newt hadn‘t been out in a while, mostly because he didn‘t feel like partying. What was he celebrating? Getting cheated on? Sounds like fun, but no thanks. More importantly though, to steer clear of he who must not be named (damn it, Sonya‘s thing was catching on).

So far he‘d been successful, and it had been over half a year, so why not? He had to admit, going to a party with his friends sounded good. And he wasn‘t under any obligation to talk to anyone else there, anyway, so he could just stick to Brenda and Gally and have a good time.

“Alright, I‘m coming“, he said. “But I‘m memorizing the bus schedule so I can go home whenever I want.“

Brenda didn‘t look too happy about that, but agreed. “Well, boys. Looks like we‘re going to have fun!“ 

Newt was, decidedly, not having any fun. It had started out great. The three of them had arrived shortly after nine, while the party had already been in full swing. Brenda had scoured the kitchen to get them all a drink and Newt found himself actually enjoying the atmosphere. It was loud and crowded and everyone was either drunk or high off their ass, but he had missed it, somehow.

He even convinced Gally (with some help from Brenda) to dance. At this point they‘d been there for an hour, and he had yet to see Thomas. He‘d spotted Minho earlier, mingling around and talking to pretty much everyone, before a redhead had caught his eye. Newt didn‘t see him again afterwards, but he was pretty sure they’d gone in the direction of the stairs. 

So far, everything had been perfectly fine. Nice, even. But then he had walked through the door, arm around some faceless boy, and Newt had felt the sudden urge to throw up, despite having only had one cup of beer. He turned on his heel and marched straight into the kitchen, where he grabbed the nearest bottle, not even bothering to read the label, and poured its contents generously into a cup. 

His friends were right behind him, watching him worriedly as he added another liquid to his concoction, which was taking on a brown color that looked more like mud than anything edible.

“I can’t believe he’s here“, Newt fumed, taking a gulp of his drink and coughing at the taste. It was disgusting, but it was also about eighty percent alcohol, so it’d do. 

“Newt, you don‘t drink!“, Brenda exclaimed, watching him drain his cup entirely after he‘d survived the first sip.

“Oh, but I do tonight!“ He started pouring himself another drink, this time foregoing the part about mixing stuff and just tilting the vodka bottle over his cup.

Brenda and Gally shot a look between them, clearly convinced that Newt had gone off his rocker.

“He‘s not even here with the other guy!“, Newt went on, gesturing in the vague direction of where he‘d just fled from and taking large gulps of his drink in-between sentences. “He threw away our relationship for someone else, but not because he genuinely liked that person, no! He didn‘t even stay with him! And here he is, parading some poor fucking idiot around!“

Brenda moved to stand between Newt and the array of bottles on the counter as he reached for a refill, and Gally put a hand on his shoulder. It might have been supposed to be calming, but it felt like a vice grip and he steered Newt away from the alcohol.

Newt‘s skin felt hot and he knew his face was flushed. He was holding his own plastic cup so tightly that he was scrunching it. It was just so infuriating, seeing him here, walking in like nothing was wrong in the world, without a care that he’d left Newt broken beyond repair merely three months ago.

Or, well. Maybe not broken beyond repair, Newt reasoned with himself. He was definitely over that, what had Sonya called him? Maggot? 

He was definitely over that maggot, and he wouldn’t let him ruin his life either.

It was at this exact moment that Newt finally caught sight of Thomas. Not that he‘d been looking for him, mind you. Of course not.

Thomas was leaning against the wall on the stairwell, chatting with a girl and running a hand through his hair. He looked ridiculously good, but then again, when didn‘t he?

An idea already forming in his head, Newt chugged back the last bit of alcohol that was left in his cup and started making his way over to where Thomas was standing.

He heard his friends call after him, asking where he was going, but he ignored them. They‘d be fine, and he had a plan to go through with.

Fuck Danny, he’d show him how fine he was, even after he’d fucked him over. He’d show him that it wasn’t Newt who was missing out.

“Hello, friend“, he said in greeting, stopping at the bottom of the stairs.

Thomas turned and his smile turned twice as wide. “Newt! You‘re actually here!“

The girl he‘d been talking to shot Newt a rather annoyed look and stepped closer to Thomas. “Who are you?“, she asked, obviously not really interested in the answer and just wanting to draw Thomas‘ attention back to herself.

“If you don‘t mind“, Newt told her, knowing full well she would indeed mind, very much so, “I‘m the guy who Tommy is dancing with right now. Unless he doesn‘t want to?“ He looked up at Thomas, who looked like he‘d just announced it was Christmas morning.

“Well, actually we were just going to go upstairs“, the girl said, now openly glaring at him. “Right, Thomas?“

Thomas wasn‘t even looking at her. “Yeah, no, you go ahead. I‘ll just... stay here with Newt.“

Newt couldn‘t help himself, he grinned up at the girl with a self-satisfied smile. “See ya, love.“ 

He grabbed Thomas by the hand and dragged him back through the living room, where the music was the loudest and everyone had crowded together to dance.

“So, you want to dance?“, Thomas shouted from behind him, still an arms length away as Newt was maneuvering them around.

“Yes, but shots first!“, Newt called back. He tried to make out where Danny had gone, but didn‘t see him anywhere close.

Back in the kitchen, he downed two shots by himself before Thomas had even fully entered the room.

“Woah, woah, Newt! Easy there!“

Newt smacked Thomas‘ hand away that was reaching to take the third shot from him. “My ex is here“, he ground out.

Thomas raised his eyebrows at him, but picked up his own shot glass.

“Remember when we talked on the roof? He‘s the one I hate, who you reminded me of.“

Thomas pondered this for a moment. “So you want to get drunk and then dance with me?“, he asked, and Newt guessed he‘d caught on to his plan.

“Yes“, he confirmed. He was slowly starting to feel the effects of the alcohol and reveled in the fuzzy feeling that spread through his body. “Come on“, he urged, taking Thomas‘ hand again.

Thomas, who looked like he might‘ve wanted to say something else, quickly downed his own shot, then followed Newt back to the living room.

Mind already clouded from the anger, and now the added effects of alcohol, Newt swayed on his feet. Thomas reached out a hand to steady him, and instinctively he leaned into it.

It was nice, in a way, to just let go and not have to keep himself in check all the time. Usually when he was with Thomas, he had to spend half the time reminding himself that he didn‘t want Thomas like that, and to not get closer to him. Now though, he didn‘t have to do that anymore, because getting close to Thomas was exactly the point.

Over Thomas‘ shoulder he caught a flash of dark hair and a signature red leather jacket. Immediately he felt that fire light back up in his ribcage that had fueled him to get to this point, and he took a step closer to Thomas, sliding one hand up his arm and resting it on the side of his neck.

His friend- Newt giggled internally at that. Yep, he was properly drunk now.- looked at him, eyes almost at the same height, pupils blown.

“Not that I‘m complaining“, he said, placing his hands on Newt‘s hips in return, “but are you sure this is a good idea? You seem... off.“

“I‘m angry and I‘m drunk“, Newt admitted, starting to move in time with the music. “But I know what I‘m doing.“

“You sure?“ Thomas looked unconvinced, still.

“I‘m sure, Tommy. Can‘t friends dance with each other?“

At the use of his nickname, Thomas seemed to give in, almost melting against Newt in a way that made him shiver.

Thomas started to match Newt‘s movements now, hands on Newt‘s hips pulling him, erasing the last inch of space between them.

It was fun to dance with Thomas, Newt discovered. More than fun, actually. His movements were fluid, body molding against Newt‘s front. His breath was ghosting hotly over Newt‘s neck, sending a shiver down his back every now and then.

With the alcohol loosening him up, Newt tried to replicate that energy, his hands now locked behind Thomas‘ neck, forehead almost resting on his shoulder. He couldn‘t see Thomas‘ face, but he was sure that it was as flushed as his own.

After a few minutes of this, Newt lifted his head, glancing around the room, remembering his mission. He wasn‘t doing this for fun, after all. (Even if it was really, really fun.)

He locked eyes with his ex so unexpectedly that he jerked, causing Thomas to focus his eyes on his face worriedly.

“Everything alright?“

Newt nodded grimly and nodded over to where Danny was standing, arm around the boy he‘d arrived with, but eyes watching Thomas and Newt.

“That him?“, Thomas asked, subtly looking over, then back at Newt. “How do I remind you of him?“

He looked so offended that Newt had to laugh, which made Thomas grin back.

“You‘re both huge fuckboys“, he explained. Normally he‘d phrased it differently, but at the moment he had a hard enough time forming sentences at all, with the combination of his drinks and Thomas pressed so close.

“Oh“, Thomas let out. “I guess, yeah.“

“Don‘t be offended, Tommy. We‘re friends, I like you way better than him“, Newt tried to console him, one hand sneaking up and tangling in the hair at the nape of Thomas‘ neck.

His amber eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly. “We‘re friends, huh?“

“Yeah“, Newt said. “I wouldn‘t do this with just anyone. If you were Minho, I‘d leave.“

Thomas mumbled something that sounded like “sure fucking hope so“ over the music. Then he took another look towards Danny.

“He‘s still watching“, he informed Newt, who had already forgotten about that part again.

“Hm?“

“That guy I remind you of. What do you say we give him a bit of a show?“ Thomas raised his eyebrows suggestively, one corner of his mouth lifting.

In lieu of a response, Newt slid his hand fully into Thomas‘ hair and gripped it, using his hold on him to tilt Thomas‘ head back and bury his head in the crook of his neck.

“Okay“, he mumbled against Thomas‘ skin.

Thomas seemed to be frozen for a second, then, in a flurry of motion, his hands were on Newt‘s lower back and one of his legs was between Newt‘s. He was fully rolling his hips now, more grinding than dancing. His head had dropped back forward, forehead pressed against Newt‘s.

It took Newt a second to adjust, and then he just went with it. This was decidedly not friend territory anymore, but at the moment he just couldn‘t bring himself to move away from the warmth of Thomas under his hands.

He didn‘t know how long they continued dancing like that, time blurring together in a meaningless stream of breath mingling and hands grabbing at his waist and back, the feeling of silky hair between his fingers.

At some point he‘d closed his eyes, just enjoying the way his body moved with Thomas‘, ignoring the sober part of his brain that screamed at him to stop, that he‘d shown Danny that he was doing great, that he could call off the pretense now. The little voice was growing quieter by the second.

Opening his eyes after a while felt strange. His vision was a little blurry, but he could see Thomas‘ face close to his, could have counted his freckles if he‘d been more coherent. The most interesting part were perhaps his eyes, though, because they kept flicking up and down Newt‘s face rapidly.

Newt made the mistake of glancing down at Thomas‘ lips and that was it, he was fucked.

“Screw it“, he muttered, and closed the little space between them.

This time, Thomas responded instantly to the closeness, wrapping one hand around the back of Newt‘s neck, his thumb against Newt‘s jaw, breathing in deeply through his nose.

Newt, whose own hands were still tangled in Thomas‘ hair, let one of them fall down to Thomas‘ hip, then angled his head to fit their mouths together properly.

He could feel Thomas‘ heart beating against his own chest, and in the back of his mind he wondered idly why. Surely Thomas didn‘t get butterflies in his stomach over a meaningless kiss at some party?

The thought was quickly forgotten when Thomas sighed into the kiss, lips opening up and practically begging Newt to slide his tongue inside. Newt complied gladly.

Much like he imagined to be the case for himself, Thomas tasted of alcohol and soda. He was playful, nibbling at Newt‘s lip, then pulling away just out of reach, leaving Newt to chase him and kiss the grin off his face.

It was intoxicating to be this close to Thomas, after denying himself for so long. Newt was still faintly aware that this was a horrible decision on many levels. Just a completely bad idea.

But at the moment he couldn‘t bring himself to care- not about the fact that he was at some dumb party making out in the middle of the dance floor, where everyone could see him lowering his standards so drastically, nor about the fact that his ex was somewhere there, or that his friends were probably looking for him.

He just cared about kissing Thomas. All he could focus on was the heat radiating off him and turning that angry fire that had been in Newt‘s chest into a glowing ember that flooded his body with a low-burning heat.

Thomas pulled away a little, still close enough for his lips to brush Newt‘s as he said, “I thought you weren‘t a fan of PDA?“

Newt had to think for a moment, then chuckled. “You‘re right, I‘m not.“ He leaned in again, not wanting to waste time with talking when he could be kissing Thomas instead.

Thomas dodged him again, but ran a hand over his neck. “How about we go somewhere more private, then?“

Even in his drunk state, Newt knew what he meant. The sober part of his brain was screaming for him to put an end to this now, that he‘d already taken it way too far. If he left now, maybe he‘d be fine, maybe everything could still be alright. Because saying yes to what Thomas was asking would be a colossally stupid decision.

“Yes. Let‘s do that.“

Which brought him to now, on his way back home, on his own this time, disheveled and utterly regretting every decision in his life. Because said life was now officially over. Being dumb enough to sleep with a fuckboy once? Excusable. But twice? WHO WAS THAT STUPID?

Newt guessed he could consider himself lucky. He‘d woken up before Thomas, which meant at least he could leave before him. It was stupid, really, because it didn‘t change the meaning of what had happened, but he dreaded the thought of waking up to find Thomas gone.

Mostly though, he was immensely glad that it was the weekend, which meant he had two days to sort himself out before he‘d see Thomas again.

If Thomas would even speak to him, that was. Maybe now that he‘d finally gotten what he‘d wanted from Newt all along, he‘d decide that he couldn‘t be arsed anymore? Of course he would, Newt thought bitterly. It wasn‘t even really a question, was it?

Silently cursing himself, he checked his phone. Brenda had called a few times, so had Gally. He sent a text to both with an apology and a promise to explain on Monday.

He wasn‘t looking forward to that conversation. Why had he been so stupid?

What hurt the most though was the knowledge that not only had he fallen for the fuckboy schtick twice now, he‘d also thrown away a friendship this time. Sure, an odd one, but a friendship nonetheless. 

Thomas had grown on him, with his endearing openness and honesty, the way he seemed to just enjoy most things, going with the flow.

But that was gone now, wasted on a night together (that Newt desperately tried not to think about too much). 

He‘d known Thomas would be trouble. He‘d known all along, had tried so hard to keep his distance, to not let himself get sucked in.

But Thomas, damn him, had just persistently kept making it hard for Newt to hate him. Even now, even with the knowledge that he‘d be tossed aside like everyone else, he couldn‘t find it in himself to hate him. 

Instead, Newt hated himself for getting into this situation, where he‘d have to pretend that loosing Thomas didn‘t hurt as much as it did. He should have never let Thomas be his friend. It had been inevitable from the beginning that they‘d end up like this, if Newt was being honest. He‘d known, deep down, that at some point, he‘d give in, if he didn‘t stay away. 

But at least it wouldn‘t tear at his heart the way it did now, if they hadn‘t been friends.

Because, truth be told, Newt thought he could probably survive explaining to his friends what had happened, and it wasn‘t like anyone at school would care that he‘d slept with Thomas (oh God, he‘d slept with Thomas)- he definitely wasn‘t the first one to do so. Maybe it‘d be a little uncomfortable, but he‘d get over it.

He wasn‘t sure how fast he‘d get over missing Thomas‘ stupid little jokes while walking to school, or the way they could bounce banter off each other like lightning. Talking to Tommy had been what he‘d been looking forward to every day, and now he‘d gone and fucked it up.

When he finally got home, still deep in thought and angry with himself, he marched up to his room, barely saying hello to his parents. The door to Sonya‘s room was open, but his sister wasn‘t there, so she was probably still at her friend‘s house.

Throwing himself onto his bed, he grabbed a pillow and let out the frustrated scream he‘d been holding in since he left Minho‘s house. It didn‘t really help to make him feel better, but at least he didn‘t feel like his chest was going to implode anymore.

The rest of the weekend he spent in his bed, continuously ignoring texts from his friends asking about what had happened (just because he‘d survive the conversation didn‘t mean he wasn‘t dreading it). Sonya came home around noon on Saturday and spent the better part of an hour trying to convince Newt to tell her what was wrong, without success. 

Monday morning, Newt got up early again. He rushed through his daily routine, desperate not to leave late. He was just finishing his breakfast and getting ready to leave when Sonya entered the kitchen, stifling a yawn.

“Where the hell are you off to?“ She eyed Newt quizzically, as if he might‘ve gone insane over the weekend spent in solitude, holed up in his room.

“School“, Newt replied, hoping to sound casual.

Sonya‘s eyebrows rose. “Already? Why?“

“No reason“, Newt said, shrugging and making his way to the door.

His sister followed him, looking wary. “What about Thomas?“, she asked then.

Newt tried not to react, but had obviously failed to conceal his flinch, because he heard Sonya suck in a breath.

“Newt, you didn‘t...I thought you didn‘t like him like that?“

“Gotta go, Sonne. Bye!“

Newt rushed out the door, without looking back at his sister. Damn his twin and her uncanny ability to always know when something was wrong with him, and what exactly it was.

Or, well, nearly, anyway. This had never been about liking Tommy, right? At first it had been trying to avoid him, then it had been trying to get him to leave Newt alone. When that hadn‘t worked, it had become about kind of enjoying Thomas‘ company more than originally planned and- well. Then it had briefly been about getting Thomas to moan his name loud enough for Newt to feel in his bones, for a short period of time. Now it was about missing their easy conversation and trudging to school on his own, the way feeling twice as long as with Tommy.

But, at no point, had it been about any romantic feelings. Or had it?

Definitely not for Thomas, Newt was sure of that. And was it more than friendship to sometimes hear Thomas‘ voice in his head, turning something into an innuendo, even when he wasn‘t there? Or to get particularly excited when he landed a comeback that made Thomas shut up for a few seconds to laugh so hard he had to hold his sides? Or to feel his chest constrict with how much he already missed him trying to imitate Newt‘s accent, even after being told not to?

Newt stopped dead in his tracks.

Fuck. He had a crush on Thomas.

For a second, Newt struggled to breathe, his brain not able to comprehend what he‘d just realized and also do it‘s job of making all of Newt‘s organs work. He just stood on the sidewalk, mouth half open, eyebrows scrunched together in a frown, one hand clasped tightly around the strap of his messenger bag.

Did it matter now, anyway? He and Thomas were done. As far as Newt knew, Thomas didn‘t do repeats, and he definitely didn‘t do relationships, so there was really no point.

Newt just wished he‘d realized how he felt sooner. Getting over this crush would have been hard enough without knowing how Thomas felt moving under him and how he looked when- nope. Newt wasn‘t even going to think about that.

In fact, he wasn‘t thinking about Tommy at all. Because this was over and done with, and he‘d just move on. He‘d just avoid Thomas until he was fine again, until he didn‘t miss his flirting anymore. He‘d just... do that.

Brenda and Gally were already shooting him weird looks when they spotted him already in his seat for their first class that day. 

“Alright. Explain, now“, Brenda demanded, throwing her bag down carelessly and taking a seat on Newt‘s table.

Gally only watched Newt squirm as he sat down next to him.

“Now!“, Brenda enforced when Newt didn‘t reply, lightly flicking his shoulder.

“Yeah, shank. You had us worried all weekend“, Gally piped up, face looking even more upset than usual.

Newt sighed deeply, but he‘d know there would be no way of avoiding this conversation. He just tried to keep it as short as possible, like ripping off a bandaid. “Danny showed up to the party, I got drunk, and I slept with Thomas.“

“You what?“ Brenda‘s shouting drew the attention of their classmates, and Newt ducked his head.

“Shut up, Bren“, Gally warned, but his face was equally as shocked as hers. “What do you mean, you slept with Thomas?“

“What do you think it means?“, Newt hissed, rolling his eyes. “Do you want me to explain the ins and outs of gay sex to you, Gal?“

“No thanks, the one time was really more than enough“, Gally assured him, momentarily forgetting about the topic at hand.

It got a little laugh out of Brenda as well, but she was back on track quicker. “So you and Thomas, huh?“

“Yes. It was really stupid, but now it‘s over and done with, so can we please never mention it again?“, Newt pleaded.

“I feel a strong sense of deja vu“, Gally remarked dryly.

“Over?“, Brenda asked, apparently not satisfied with Newt‘s answer. “So you haven‘t talked to him?“

Before she could force Newt to answer, however, their teacher arrived, ordering everyone to take their assigned seats. Newt was sure he‘d never been more happy to see his stupid rat face in his life.

He knew he couldn‘t dodge Brenda forever, though. She was already shooting him looks that seemed to scream “this isn‘t over“ from where she was sitting.

Newt, who really wasn‘t in the mood to talk about the whole thing, was already hatching a plan how to delay the inevitable.

He managed to slip out the classroom fast enough to loose his friends in the crowd, and then spent every break in the bathroom, only getting to class at the last possible second. He also ditched them at lunch, and lucky for him, their last class of the day wasn‘t a shared one.

Newt knew he was being childish, but he had just fully realized the severity of his predicament this morning, so he thought he was allowed. Gally and Brenda would forgive him (eventually), and he could put off thinking about Thomas for at least the rest of the day. If he could get past Sonya, that was.

Practically running out the front doors, he started his way home. This whole avoiding everyone thing was a little hard to keep track of, he had to admit, but so far he‘d been doing pretty good.

The key words being so far. Not even one minute into his walk, someone grabbed his shoulder, spinning him halfway and brining him face to face with Thomas.

His heart skipped a beat and his mouth went dry. Damn it, he‘d been so close!

“Hey, where were you this morning?“, Thomas asked, falling into step next to Newt, smiling.

Newt was too shocked to answer. He just stared at Thomas.

After not receiving a reply, Thomas turned towards him. Clocking on to the fact that Newt was miles away in his head, he waved a hand in front of his face. “Hello, earth to Newt?“

“Are you just going to pretend that everything is normal?“ The words tumbled out of Newt‘s mouth before he had a chance to stop them.

Thomas raised his eyebrows. “Isn‘t it?“, he asked, and Newt imagined he could hear a hint of insecurity.

“I- what?“ Newt was nearly speechless. Surely, Thomas couldn‘t be serious. “Do you not remember, or something?“

Thomas‘ face scrunched up in thought. “Did I say something dumb to you?“

Newt thought he might still be dreaming. Maybe he drank so much he got alcohol poisoning, and in reality he was just passed out on Minho‘s couch. “No, you- I“, he stuttered, words bouncing in his brain, but none of them coming out right. “We had sex, Tommy.“

Face breaking out into a grin, Thomas wiggled his eyebrows. “Yeah, I remember that part. If I remember correctly, it was quite good, too, so I don‘t really get why you‘re upset.“

Newt felt himself turn a spectacular shade of red while sputtering, again not managing to string words into a sentence.

“Aww“, Thomas cooed, slinging an arm around Newt‘s shoulder. “I didn‘t think you‘d be shy about it. You certainly weren‘t shy Friday night“, he teased.

“What do you want, Thomas?“, Newt asked, shoving the arm off him. “You got what you wanted, why are you even still talking to me?“

Thomas looked taken aback by the venom in Newt‘s voice. “What do you mean?“, he asked, sounding more serious now. “Just because we slept with each other doesn‘t mean we can‘t be friends, Newt. It‘s no big deal.“

Newt flinched at the last part. Of course it wasn‘t a big deal to Thomas. It shouldn‘t be a big deal to him, either, he thought angrily. He should never have let it get this far, but he had, and now he‘d gotten hurt.

Because Thomas didn‘t care. Thomas might‘ve been okay with sleeping with people and moving on, but Newt wasn‘t.

“Do you just always do whatever you want?“, Newt exploded, letting his frustration get the better of him. He was hurt, he was tired and he just wanted to go home.

“Yeah, I do“, Thomas shrugged, seemingly not getting the effect his carelessness was having on Newt. “Mostly it‘s whoever, though“, he quipped, offering Newt a smirk.

“Do you ever stop thinking with your dick?“, Newt shot, trying to keep his voice level, instead balling his hand into fists at his side.

“If I‘m thinking with my dick, can I ask you to blow my mind?“, Thomas joked, but this time the grin slipped off his face as he took in Newt‘s expression.

“This isn‘t funny!“, Newt yelled. How could Thomas be joking right now? It was one thing for him not to care for Newt the way he cared for Thomas, because Newt couldn‘t force him to like him back. But to drag this conversation out, in which he‘d surely tell Newt that he had enough of him, was just cruel. 

“Don‘t make this more complicated than it has to be, Thomas“, Newt begged, suddenly feeling defeated. The last bit of energy his anger at Thomas had lent him was now gone, and he wanted nothing more than to get home and shut his brain off for a while. “Just say you got what you wanted and go.“

Thomas, who was clearly confused by Newt‘s fast switching between emotions, shrugged helplessly. “Of course I wanted to sleep with you“, he confirmed. “I‘ve wanted to for weeks, in case you forgot.“ His face took on a horrified expression. “Didn‘t you?“

Newt hated himself for it, but his heart broke a little for Thomas. He knew he had to end this now, though. Even if Thomas wasn‘t trying to end their friendship now, he‘d go on to sleep with other people. And now that they‘d been together, he‘d get bored of Newt, and leave at some point. And Newt was certain that waiting for Thomas to do that would make him feel even worse than he did now. He‘d have to spare himself the heartbreak.

“I did, Tommy. Not to mention you asked me before we- uhm. But no, I really did“, he admitted, his voice going soft at the way Thomas‘ shoulders sagged in relief. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the final blow. “It‘s just that now, I want nothing to do with you anymore.“

Shoulders hunched, he walked away from Thomas, hoping he couldn‘t see his face slipping as soon as he‘d turned away. 

When he rounded the corner, he saw Thomas still standing where he‘d left him, looking after Newt with a lost expression on his face.

Thomas had gone from being the worst part about Newt‘s daily commute, to the best, and now back to the worst. It was funny in a way. Only a few weeks ago, Newt had wanted nothing more than for Thomas to leave him alone, but now that he‘d successfully pushed him away, he wanted him back.

He knew he couldn‘t have him, though. So it was better this way. It was only a matter of time until they ended up this way, and at least with Newt being the one to break off their friendship, he could keep the last shred of his dignity. It didn‘t really make him feel better.

Everyone had tried to get him to open up about what had happened- Brenda usually just point blank told him he was being dumb and immature and left in a huff when Newt refused to talk, Gally stared him down so intensely that Newt was starting to worry about the possibility of scorch marks on his jacket, and Sonya spent all her free time at home pestering him with questions.

Newt stayed silent though. He really didn‘t want to talk about Thomas, because every time he caught a glimpse of him in the hallways or one of his friends asked about him, Newt was transported back to Minho‘s house, with the feeling of Thomas pressed up close against him, mouth sliding up Newt‘s neck, sighing when Newt tightened his grip on him- and Newt couldn‘t have that. 

He was decidedly not thinking about Thomas like that. Or at all.

It was still weird walking alone. Newt frequently found himself wondering what Thomas would have said were he walking beside Newt. Or who he‘d gone home with last. Newt also tried not to think about that, because while he knew Thomas had a right to do whatever he wanted, he could practically feel himself turning green. It was not a pleasant feeling.

The problem with the whole not thinking about Thomas thing was that it took a lot of effort. Because the fact of the matter was that Newt‘s thoughts, if left unchecked, strayed to Thomas, to his smile, to his laugh, his eyes, his hands, his- see? That was the bloody problem. 

So now Newt was spending most of his mental energy trying to block out thoughts about Thomas, which left him ghosting through his days more than anything else. It was pathetic, really, how hung up he was over someone he‘d known barely two months, Newt thought. But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn‘t help it.

He was really looking forward to the weekend, though. Sonya was staying with a friend, and his parents were visiting his aunt and uncle, so he‘d have the house all to himself to wallow in peace. No nagging questions from his sister (even if she meant well, it was exhausting), no having to pretend everything was normal so his parents wouldn‘t ask questions. Just... quiet.

He‘d just have to make it through the rest of Thursday, and then school on Friday, and then he‘d finally get some time to breathe without at least one pair of eyes trained at him on all times.

Sprinting through the school doors, he checked for signs of Thomas (or Brenda or Gally) over his shoulder. They hadn‘t spoken about it, but Newt had a feeling Thomas was avoiding him as well, and had adjusted the time he started his way home to not have to cross paths with Newt. 

Newt wasn‘t sure how he felt about that, but at least it made it easier for him to avoid Thomas.

He stumbled into someone when he pushed through the doors, and the person immediately started apologizing. 

“Oh, I‘m so sorry!“ 

It was Aris Jones. Newt knew him, they‘d had a handful of classes together last year. He was quiet but nice enough, and like now, often wore some huge clothes that he seemed to drown in. 

“It‘s fine, Aris, I ran into you. Sorry about that“, Newt assured.

“Oh, Newt, it‘s you“, Aris sighed, visibly relaxing at seeing a familiar face. “How have you been?“

Newt really wasn‘t in the mood to stand around and chit-chat, but Aris had done nothing to deserve being blown off like Newt really wanted to do right now, so he resigned himself to exchanging a few words and then getting out of there.

“Good“, he lied. “How are your classes? Are you still in the robotics club?“

“No“, Aris said, but didn‘t sound too hung up about it. “I build stuff at home now. I‘m actually just waiting for someone... oh! Speak of the devil!“

Newt didn‘t even need to turn to know who it was Aris was waiting for. He felt his heart lurch first to his throat, then to his feet. 

“Hey Aris, I got my stuff, you ready to go?“

Thomas jogged up to them, either not having noticed Newt or ignoring him on purpose. 

Newt forced his head to turn and look at Thomas, ignoring the feeling of an anvil compressing his chest. “Hello, Thomas“, he rasped out, voice coming out steadier than he‘d expected it to.

 He was glad though, because Thomas seized him with a look that was so cold it could have probably given Newt hypothermia. 

“Newt“, he said, voice devoid of any emotion. It was strange to hear, with Thomas usually being so animated, and Newt turned his eyes away.

“You guys know each other?“, Aris chimed in, looking between the two of them, slight frown on his face. 

Both Thomas and Newt were silent for a beat. Did Thomas not know how to answer, Newt wondered, or did he just not want to?

“We, uh, we live really close to each other“, Newt then mumbled.

“Oh, that‘s cool. So do you walk to school together or-“

“Let‘s go, Aris“, Thomas interrupted him, already turning away. “I‘m sure Newt has other things to do than speak to us.“

Aris shot another look back and forth between Thomas and Newt, with Thomas clearly itching to leave and Newt casting his eyes to the floor. “Okay“, he agreed then, dragging out the word but, to Newt‘s relief, not making any further comments. “See ya, Newt.“

With that, he bounded down the front steps to where Thomas was waiting, still not looking at Newt.

Newt watched them leave together, fighting hard to not think about why Thomas would go home with Aris. He already knew why, and thinking about it would only make it ten times worse. 

Sadly, that didn‘t stop him.

Friday afternoon, Newt could just about keep himself from sprinting home. If he‘d needed time alone before, running into Thomas the day before had made him want to move into a cave for the next ten years. Give or take a few. 

He almost couldn‘t believe his luck when he made it to his house without bumping into anyone, and as soon as the front door fell shut behind him, he let out a relieved sigh.

Now that he was finally alone, there‘d be no painful reminders of Thomas every time he so much as lifted his eyes off the floor, or his friends spoke to him. 

Newt felt guilty about it, but their concern was starting to annoy him. He just wanted to forget about all of it, surely that wasn‘t so hard to understand?

A loud grumbling noise distracted him from his thoughts and Newt headed to the kitchen in search of food. With a pizza baking in the oven and a sitcom on TV, he already felt better than he had for the past two weeks, since that fateful party.

Saturday was spent much in the same fashion, with Newt lazing about the house and keeping his mind occupied with video games, movies and the occasional preparation of food. It was nice to shut his brain off for a little and to not have to try so hard not to think about amber eyes and an infectious laugh.

He fell asleep on the couch to the soundtrack of some dumb action movie, no doubt part of Gally‘s collection that had stayed over after a movie night.

The shrill noise of the doorbell woke Newt. For a second, he patted around blindly, trying to orient himself. The movie had long since ended and was now playing the menu on loop. Managing to grab his phone, Newt took a look at the time. Who the fuck was ringing their bell at almost two in the morning?

His throat felt parched, so Newt took a few sips of the water he had left on the couch table. It didn‘t help much to wake him up, though.

Still wondering who could be outside (and who was still ringing the bell, too), he stumbled towards the front door.

“What?“, he yelled as he opened it, and then promptly choked on his own spit.

“Newtie!“, Thomas greeted him, arms outstretched and wobbling on his feet precariously. 

“Thomas? What are you doing here? Do you know what time it is?“ Despite the fact that he‘d just been woken up mere seconds ago, Newt suddenly felt very awake.

Thomas frowned, deep in thought, then pouted. “I don‘t know“, he confessed, looking at Newt as if he was fully expecting Newt to shut the door in his face. “I don‘t know anything anymore.“ His speech was slurred and he was still swaying.

Newt barely resisted the urge to reach out a hand and steady Thomas before he toppled over. “Tommy, are you drunk?“

“Yeah“, Thomas admitted sheepishly. “I was at Minho‘s, but I needed to see you.“

“Did you walk all the way here?“, Newt asked incredulously. He‘d walked from Minho‘s house to his, after... well, just after. It wasn‘t exactly a long way, but judging from Thomas now steadying himself against the railing of the veranda, it couldn‘t have been easy. “Are you crazy?“

Thomas let out a giggle. “Maybe. Crazy for youuuu...“, he trailed off.

Newt rolled his eyes. “Come on, I‘ll walk you home.“

“No“, Thomas whined, dragging it out. “I can‘t go home, my parents will get mad at me.“

Tiredly, Newt rubbed at his eyes. What was he supposed to do now, with Thomas drunk on his doorstep and no way to avoid talking to him?  “Thomas, I can‘t do this right now. What did you need to talk to me about?“

“You hate me, and I don‘t know why“, Thomas accused, puppy dog eyes shining up at Newt.

“I don‘t hate you“, Newt assured. If only Thomas knew how wrong he was, Newt thought wryly. That was, after all, the whole entire problem.

“But you do!“, Thomas insisted. “It‘s hypocritical, too, you know.“ He was fully pouting now, like he was a toddler and Newt had taken his candy. “First, you hated me for being a fuckboy, but then after we had sex, you were the one who dropped me!“

Newt could only stare at him with a gobsmacked expression.

“And I don‘t know what I did wrong, and I just miss you all the time“, Thomas continued, unaware of the fact that Newt‘s thoughts were racing a mile an hour. “I want to talk to you all the time, and make you laugh. Your laugh is very cute, you know? And I tried, with Aris, I really did, but I just kept thinking about you, which just isn’t fair. I‘d also like to fu-“

“Okay!“, Newt interrupted, suddenly very aware of the fact that they had neighbors and Thomas‘ drunken rambling wasn‘t exactly quiet. He grabbed Thomas by the hand and dragged him inside.

“Huh. I‘m having a deja vu“, Thomas mumbled behind him.

This time, Newt‘s eyeroll was more fond than annoyed. Still, he positioned Thomas on the couch where he‘d just been sleeping, then went to grab a glass of water. It looked like Thomas was going to stay the night, and Newt didn‘t feel like dealing with him when he was hungover. 

“There“, he said, handing the water to Thomas and watching him carefully as he drank. “Now“, he started, after the glass was empty. “Wanna try again?“

Thomas started fiddling with a cushion and avoided Newt‘s gaze. “I- I just...“

Exasperated, Newt threw his hands in the air. “I thought you wanted to talk, Tommy. I didn‘t come seeking you out in the middle of the night, so please, go ahead!“ He knew it was irrational to get angry with Thomas, he‘d done nothing wrong besides wake him up. But Newt really didn‘t want to have this conversation with him, especially not like this.

“I‘m sorry, Newt“, Thomas sighed, still mumbling, but when he raised his head to look at Newt, his eyes seemed a little more focused than before. “I don‘t know what I was thinking, coming here at this time. It‘s just-“ He broke off, gulping in a breath of air. “I miss you, Newt. And I don‘t know why you won‘t talk to me.“

Newt‘s heart twisted painfully. Even though Thomas had already said it outside, he had a hard time believing it. Surely this was just drunken rambling, maybe Thomas not being used to being the one to be dumped for a change?

“The last two weeks sucked“, Thomas continued, unaware of Newt‘s inner turmoil. “I don‘t know what I did to make you want nothing to do with me, but I‘m sorry, I really am.“ 

He looked so earnest and desperate that Newt couldn‘t find it in himself to stay silent. “No, Tommy, I should be apologizing.“

Thomas‘ face scrunched up in confusion, but he looked at Newt, waiting for him to continue. 

“Bloody hell, why is this so hard?“, Newt mumbled, trying to piece together the words to explain to Thomas why he‘d acted the way he did. He plopped onto the couch next to him, but still with enough space so they weren‘t touching. 

Tentatively, Thomas reached out and took hold of Newt‘s hand, just placing his own above it and squeezing. 

Newt‘s eyes snapped to Thomas‘ face, expecting to find pity or maybe even frustration, but was met only with curiosity and an encouraging half-smile. 

Right. One of the reasons he liked Thomas so much- the fact that he never seemed to judge, always stayed curios to find out more, to understand.

“I didn‘t enjoy the past weeks either“, he finally breathed out. “In fact, I hated them. I hated not talking to you every day.“

“Then why didn‘t you?“, Thomas interrupted, still looking at him.

“Well, I told you to get lost, didn‘t I?“

“You did“, Thomas agreed, a flash of hurt crossing his face. “I still don‘t know why, though.“

Newt wrestled with himself. Thomas deserved an explanation, but at the same time, he‘d only just gotten a chance to salvage their friendship. After all, Thomas was here, saying that he missed him. Maybe, just maybe, they could be friends after all?

The past two weeks had clearly shown Newt that he wasn‘t better off without Thomas in his life, that it was too late for him to just go back to how it had been before (maybe it was just the time getting to him, he was being dramatic). But still, he never expected Thomas to reciprocate his feelings. And being friends was better than nothing at all, right?

So should he tell Thomas how he felt now? Because surely, it would freak Thomas out and then he‘d be the one to ask Newt to never speak to him again. He needed to think of some sort of explanation though, and fast, because Thomas was still sat next to him, waiting. Which didn‘t really help Newt concentrate.

“I‘m sorry about that, Tommy. I didn‘t mean it“, he said, still avoiding telling Thomas his actual motivation. 

Next to him, he heard a loud exhale. When he looked over, Thomas was sporting a dopey grin that Newt might have attributed to his alcohol levels, had he not seen the same expression on Thomas‘ face almost daily.

“That‘s good“, Thomas grinned. “Because I really didn‘t want to stay away.“

Newt returned the smile, even though he felt a little choked up.

“And I‘m sorry for being a hypocrite“, Newt added, looking away. “I shouldn‘t have ever let it get this far and mess everything up, so I just- I‘m sorry.“

“Do you regret sleeping with me?“ Thomas‘ eyes were wide, searching his face for any clues as to how Newt felt. “Because I don‘t“, he went on when Newt didn‘t answer. “I hate that it made everything complicated, but I don‘t regret it. And I know, at least for me, why the last two weeks were so painful.“

Newt‘s shoulders tensed. Now Tommy would tell him he‘d missed his friendship, that it had been a good shag but nothing more, and he‘d be forced to smile and nod and pretend he felt the same.

Fingers grazed his chin clumsily. “Can you look at me?“

Newt complied, face turning into a frown when he took in Thomas‘ face. He looked... scared, like he was fighting for the words to leave his mouth. 

“I like you, Newt. Like, a lot. Like I want to hold your hand, like I am now, and I want to talk to you every day and then have you roll your eyes at me because I‘m being stupid, and- mph!“

The rest of his sentence could wait, Newt decided as he was kissing Thomas, heart swelling in his chest. Thomas immediately caught on and gripped the back of Newt‘s head, fisting his hands into the blond hair. Newt‘s hands came to rest against Thomas‘ face where he‘d pulled him in for the kiss.

“I like you too“, Newt huffed when they broke apart to breathe. He could feel Thomas smile against his cheek as he kissed it.

“Yeah, I kinda figured.“

“Really? What gave you that idea?“, Newt teased, laughing when Thomas kissed him again in response. 

“So if you like me, why did you say you wanted nothing to do with me?“, Thomas asked, sinking back against the couch and pulling Newt on top of him.

Momentarily distracted, Newt leaned in for a peck. 

But Thomas pulled away again quickly, a questioning look on his face. 

“I got scared“, Newt confessed. “I thought you‘d get bored of me and tell me to get lost sooner or later, so I didn‘t want to drag it out.“

“You‘re ridiculous“, Thomas chastised him, caressing over Newt‘s back up to his shoulder and to his neck. “I could never, ever get bored of you.“

Newt could feel the soppy smile fight its way onto his face. 

“I don‘t think I could get bored of you, either.“

“Good. Now please stop talking and kiss me again.“

Newt giggled (honest to God giggled, what was happening to him?), but let Thomas drag him down into another kiss.

Later, while he was just drifting off to sleep, Thomas‘ hands carding through his hair, a thought struck him.

“Tommy?“

“Hm?“, was the sleepy mumble he received as a reply.

“The next time we have sex, we‘re both sober.“

“Agreed. Just give me like... seven hours.“