Archive of Our Own

The five times Penelope isn’t pregnant, and the one time she is.

One

Colin Bridgerton woke up at five-thirty in the morning to the sounds of retching and coughing coming from their toilet. He groggily rose and padded over the carpet to the cool tile floor. Penelope had her hair tied up in a loose bun on the top of her head, and he could see her fingers tremble as she gripped the toilet seat. 

He’s behind her instantly, one hand resting on her shoulder and the other rubbing soothing circles on her back. “Aw, love.”

She snorted and eased back to sit on her heels, her head shaking. “I guess the Pad Thai didn't agree with me.” 

Sundays were normally reserved for Bridgerton family dinners at Anthony’s house. However, his second eldest brother, Benedict, had to cancel as his wife, Sophie, had just given birth to their third child two weeks early Additionally, Eloise was on her honeymoon, so it was mutually decided to cancel. Colin had been relieved since he, too, had just returned from a business trip to Malta and didn’t feel like doing anything that wasn’t eating takeout in bed with his wife.

Brow furrowing, he gave her a confused look. “Funny. I had the same thing and I feel fine.” His hands stilled and both moved to squeeze her shoulders. “You don’t think this could be…” he trailed off expectantly.

“Ha! No, I don’t, Babe.” Penelope gave him a wry smile as she wiped her mouth with a hand towel. 

It was no secret that Colin wanted kids. He’d asked her almost twice a month since they got married nearly two years ago if she was ready to start trying trying. Every time, he was met with ‘But you just started writing your new book,’ or ‘ I really like my students this term and would hate to miss out on their work.’ Feeble excuses, sure, but they usually shut him up. Don’t get him wrong, he knew Penelope wanted kids. She wanted a whole house full as a matter of fact.  At the same time, he knew she wanted him to herself. Penelope had spent all four years of college and a year of grad school pining over her roommate's cute brother and, after a whirlwind summer romance and the wedding of her dreams, she wanted to enjoy Colin. All of him. Every night. Fussy babies and insomniatic toddlers would only snuff that flame. They were still young. They had time.

Colin crossed his arms and leaned against the door jam. “Ah, well. Had to ask.” 

He followed his wife out of their bathroom and back to bed. Penelope fell right to sleep, exhausted from her heaving, but he couldn’t shake the thought that maybe he was right. 

He hadn’t heard Penelope leave at half-past seven o’clock, as sleep had finally reclaimed him. He awoke two hours later to the whistle of bus brakes outside. He checked his phone. Two missed calls from his second eldest brother, and a dozen text messages to boot. It was nearly ten, and he was beginning to grow hungry, so he rose and walked towards the kitchen, skimming the messages on the way. 

Their apartment was simple. It consisted of two decent-sized bedrooms, each with its own bathroom. The master had the advantage of a small terrace that overlooked the street. He’d bought it after receiving the advance from the first travel book he ever published. Penelope moved in shortly after they became engaged, and had added her own personal flair to the home that made his heart burst. Sure, it was simple curtains and area rugs, but it was also adorable nicknacks. If anyone else snuck a cookie jar in the shape of a French bulldog onto the counter, they’d find it in the trash the very next day. However, Pen’s obsession with the quirky breed amused him, so Colin let it stay. He’d even gone so far as to name it. 

Their fridge was littered with pictures of both their families and polaroids from their many travels, both together and apart. His favorite, however, was their wedding picture. Honorable mention went to an old, tattered photo of the Bridgerton clan the summer before his father passed. Of course, there was always the ever-appearing birth announcement. With eleven siblings between them, more than half married, the sleek appliance stayed decked out. 

Colin yawned and filled the kettle, set it on the stove, and began searching for a frying pan to make an omelet. He hadn’t even gotten to scrambling the eggs when, out of nowhere, the front door unhinged and someone slowly entered. 

He glanced up to see his wife, eyes glazed, tossing her keys into the bowl on the kitchen counter and kicking her shoes off. The pearl-studded headband that had been holding her crimson hair back had been discarded as well, and she reached up to massage her temples. The brunette’s eyes rose and he studied her face. “OK, Hun? You look-“

“Don’t…” she began warningly, “say a word.” 

He pressed his lips into a line and turned back to the stove. Penelope shucked off her beige, wool coat and hung it on the rack by the door. She disappeared into their bedroom and came out two minutes later in leggings and his worn St. Andrew’s sweatshirt. Colin handed her a cool rag he’d prepared while she had changed.

 “Thank you, Love,” she whispered. They moved to the sofa, Colin sitting at one end with his wife’s head in his lap. After sitting in a comfortable silence for a few seconds, she cleared her throat and mumbled. “I puked on a kid.”

Instantly, her husband’s attention shifted from his food to his wife, which was not always an easy feat, even for her. “I beg your pardon?” He coughed, stifling a laugh and trying as hard as he could to keep from spewing eggs over her. Penelope let out a weak laugh in response, uncovered her eyes, and gazed up at him. “One of my poor students came to my desk to ask about a deadline for something or other and, before I could answer him, I found myself hurling over the trash bin and onto his shoes.” 

“You’re kidding,” Colin replied, biting back another laugh.  “Hope they weren’t expensive.” 

She slapped his wrist as best as she could from her angle. “It’s not funny. He smelled of the onion bagel he’d brought for breakfast.” Realizing what she’d confessed, Penelope blinked a few times. “This doesn’t mean-“ 

He nods. “I know.” The redhead hummed quietly, snuggling into his chest. Colin swiped the damp fringe from her eyes. “Matter of fact, Benedict texted to let us know Charlie and Alexander both have the stomach flu. Got it from Anthony’s kids.” 

“Ahhh,” Penelope mused. “Do they now?” 

When Sophie had gone into labor Tuesday afternoon, Anthony was asked to fetch her and Benedict’s eldest sons from school while the Matriarch Bridgerton stayed with little William. The next morning, he was called out of town for business, leaving his wife alone with five kids. After it was decided the newest Bridgerton and mother required a few extra days of recuperation, Penelope took the boys in. It had made sense as she worked close to the primary school and had quite an open schedule (and full pantry) with Colin away. 

Having a six and four-year-old in their two-bedroom flat was like having two wasps in a jar. They were well-behaved, but also very spirited. Penelope was hardly upset to return them on Friday afternoon. 

“Guess we’re off the hook,” Colin teased, leaning down to press a kiss on her shoulder. As much as he yearned for a brood of their own, hearing about his nephews’ stay was enough to hold out until they closed on their new townhome in Battersea next month. It also didn’t help his cause when he found a piece of chewing gum stuck to his favorite trainers and the bright red ketchup stain on Penelope’s favorite reading chair. 

“For now,” his wife whispered as she nosed his soft tee and drifted to sleep. 

A little while later, he rose and carefully transferred her head to the throw pillow behind him. Before heading toward the shower, Colin placed a trash bin next to their sofa and pulled the plush blanket she’d so lovingly knit for him for their one-month anniversary, over her body.  

Two

Four months later, Colin arrived home to his and Penelope’s new house on Ashbury Road to see the usual stack of packages overtaking their front steps. Apparently, when one moves into a new home, it’s customary to purchase all new furniture and decor. In Penelope’s case, that meant ordering enough to overflow Buckingham Palace. 

It was a Friday night and he hadn’t been due home until Saturday, but his meetings had been canceled and he was able to hop onto the train home that morning. Colin also never missed a chance to surprise his darling wife. 

He was sorting through IKEA and Amazon boxes when a small package fell at his feet. The familiar logo printed in metallic gold at the top told him it was from his publishing house. He picked it up. Smiling widely, he turned to walk into the kitchen. His publisher, Nadine, had mentioned something about sending the first draft of his newest travel book the other day, so this had to be it. This book was especially close to his heart because it would feature a few chapters dedicated to his and Penelope’s honeymoon in Greece. 

Colin ripped the seal off and let the contents slide onto the marble countertop. 

“What the bloody-“ he whispered, letting his words trail off. 

Holding the book up, he knit his brows together and read the unfamiliar title. 

Oh Sh*t, I’m Pregnant...and Other Tragedies 

Before Colin could process anything, there was a loud crash. He whirled around to see his wife standing over a ripped-up package, the contents of which were now rolling on the floor.

“Shit!” she cursed, crouching down to assess her mess. At her feet were four cappuccino cups. Well, they had been cappuccino cups. Now they were shards of porcelain. “Sorry about all this, Babe.” Penelope flashed him a guilty smile before continuing to scoop up the broken pieces. 

A few seconds later, the redhead’s eyes shot back to her husband. “Colin! You’re home early.” She continued sweeping the bits into her palm. “Everything OK, Love?”

When she was met with more silence from her husband, Penelope looked back up. “Look, I know these are the good ones from Italy...” They were his pride and joy, a gift from his sister, Daphne, when he had bought his first flat years ago. Now, he could barely conjure up a care for them. “...what’s wrong?” she queried, as the cute wrinkle between her eyes appeared. 

Colin stood there, unmoving. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t manage. His hand found its way to the book on the counter beside him. Grasping it, he held it up for her, still speechless. 

Penelope blanched. 

“I know how this must look, but you should know-“ 

“You’re pregnant?” he finally said, not managing to hide the anger in his tone. Colin glanced at the book and then back to his wife, “And it’s a tragedy?” 

If he hadn’t looked so forlorn and betrayed, Penelope could have burst into laughter. Instead, the redhead bit her lip and sighed. “You weren’t supposed to open that.”

Colin read over the address once more. 

Penelope F. Bridgerton

Oops. 

“Well, excuse me,” He guffawed. “I thought it was my new book. It’s from Nadine, for God’s sake.” 

Penelope took the book from his hand and set it on the counter, then took his hands into her own. She looked up into his stunning green eyes and waited for them to meet her own. 

“I’m not pregnant,” she said carefully, squeezing his hands. “Okay?”

She swung their hands back and forth, trying to find her words. “It is from Nadine. A colleague of mine is a huge fan of the author, this comedian from Canada, and she just helped me get a copy before it goes on sale at Christmas.”

“Oh,” Colin’s shoulders sagged. 

She led him to the sofa and they sat down. “It’s not even about pregnancy,” Penelope adds. “Well, part of it is, but that’s….not really the point.” 

She studied his face. He still looked to be lost in thought. “Are you okay?”

“Hm?” He sat up and looked at her. “Oh. Yeah, I’m fine. Just feeling a little embarrassed, that’s all.” Colin gave her one of his heart-melting smiles. The one that was reserved just for her. 

He stood and walked briskly to the kitchen, opened the drawer of takeout menus, and began to rifle through them. Penelope’s heart ached. Despite the confusion and anger he’d expressed just moments ago, she couldn’t shake the look of hopefulness behind his eyes. It made her feel so awful. 

“Colin,” she called to him. He remained in his spot by the drawer. “Colin, come here.”

“One second, hun, I’m ordering dinner. Indian ok?” 

“I had that two nights ago. I thought we could make dinner tonight, it’s been so long and I want to cook in the new kitchen with my husband.” 

Despite being moved in for a while, they had yet to cook a meal together that wasn’t microwaved takeout or frozen pizza. With Colin traveling and Penelope lending her talents to the school play, there hadn’t been many opportunities. 

Colin heaved a sigh, looking at her. “‘You know, I can’t think of anything that sounds better.” 

Penelope jumped up. “Oh, good!” She joined him in the kitchen and began preparing the ingredients for his favorite meal, beef bolognese.

The brunette stood still for a moment, watching his wife dig through the cupboards and gather supplies. The way her ass looked in the jeans she wore made him shiver, as did the lacy bra he could see under her blouse. 

As she chopped carrots, Penelope felt a warm palm sneak around her waist. Another placed a glass of red wine in front of her. Leaning back into Colin’s frame, she sighed and melted into him. His head rested on her shoulder, enjoying the familiar scent of her lavender and mint shampoo. 

“Sorry I was an arse,” He mumbled into her neck, his five o’clock shadow tickling her ear. 

With a snort, she replied, “You weren’t an arse.” She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I don’t think that’s even possible.”

“Oh, it’s possible,” came a new voice. 

The pair shot apart and turned to see Eloise and her husband, Phillip, standing in the foyer. Each of them was helping a child with their coat. 

“I’m sorry,” Colin stated rather haughtily, “What on earth are you doing here?” Once the children were free, they both ran straight for their uncle who immediately picked the little girl up and didn’t flinch when the little boy jumped on his back. 

Phillip looked to his wife, who held an extremely amused expression on her face. She looked from her brother to her sister-in-law. “Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten, Pen.”

After a beat, Penelope gasped, her hands covering her mouth. “Oh, right!” Looking at her husband, she smiled sweetly, “Oliver and Amanda are staying the night with us.”

“Our sitter canceled last night. Apparently, her boyfriend’s cricket match was more important.” Eloise stated sarcastically.

“If it’s too much trouble, we can always cancel,” Phillip tried to assure the couple. 

“No!” Penelope and Eloise said in unison. The latter blushed. 

“I mean, sure! I wasn’t even looking forward to seeing the play while it was still in previews anyway.”

“Don’t be silly,” Colin waved them off. “They’re always welcome.” 

And they were, even when Oliver was trying his best to karate chop through their coffee table, and Amanda pulled a bottle of red from their wine cabinet to read the label because, ‘She’s learning French and it’s so cute when she reads wine labels like a tiny adult.’ 

Colin plucked the bottle from his niece’s grasp and placed it back in the cabinet, smiling as if it weren’t a vintage cabernet.

“Well, off you go,” Penelope ushered the other couple to the door. “Before you miss the first act. And then go home and make me an aunt again!” 

“Oh, please. You first,” Eloise mumbled as she descended the front steps. 

Penelope laughed and turned back to see the twins sitting rather politely at the bar, animatedly filling her husband in on their weeks at school. She also noticed Colin topping off her glass of wine.

“Thank God for you,” she whispered.

Three

Summers at Aubrey Hall were always Colin’s favourite. Ever since he was a young boy, he loved nothing more than gathering with his family at their summer home. It was tradition. As every Bridgerton child went off to university or on travels around Europe, Aubrey Hall was the one place that anchored them all. It was like Violet’s own personal magnet to get her children into one place, even if just for a week. 

Summers at Aubrey Hall with Penelope, however, were even more magical. It was essentially where they’d had their milestones. They met for the first time when Penelope had accompanied his sister, Eloise, the summer after their first year at Oxford. Of course, it took a few summers for them to fall in love, but when they did, they fell hard. It had only taken one summer of being her boyfriend to make Colin realize that he wanted to be her husband and that he couldn’t imagine summers at Aubrey Hall without Penelope. So, he’d proposed by the end of that summer, and they were married by the next. 

There were, obviously, other reasons he loved the home in Kent. He adored playing hide and seek in the garden with his nieces and nephews and cooking with Penelope in the expansive kitchen. Watching Anthony’s wife whip everyone’s ass at Pall Mall was also a highlight. 

As Colin and Penelope entered the dining room one morning for breakfast, they were bombarded with hugs and congratulations from his family. Violet Bridgerton wrapped Penelope in a tight bear hug and Benedict clapped Colin on the back. 

“Oh, we’re so happy for you!” Sophie beamed from her seat at the table, little Violet bouncing on her lap. 

The third Bridgerton son looked at his wife, who returned his incredulous expression, shaking her head as if to answer the question she’d known he’d have. They sat down next to Anthony and Kate, who both wore matching smiles of delight. “I always knew you had it in you, mate,” his brother whispered. Perhaps they did hear us last night, Colin pondered. 

His mother sat down at the head of the table, reaching to pour herself a mimosa. As she finished, she made as if to pass it to Penelope, but pulled back. “Oh dear, I suppose none for you, hm?” 

A nervous giggle bubbled from Penelope. “I beg your pardon?” 

She politely took the bottle from Violet and began pouring her own glass. All eyes land on her, silence blanketing the air as cutlery ceases movement and chatter dies down. 

“What on Earth do you think you're doing, dear?” Her mother-in-law questioned, quite alarmingly. 

Penelope looked around, her face turning crimson. “I’m...very confused. What are you all on about?” 

His mother tutted. “I know some pregnant women dabble with red wine for ‘health benefits,’ but champagne must be a new rule you lucky girls get to break.” 

Colin’s eyes grew to the size of the pancakes he’d been so desperate to eat. “I’m sorry... pregnant ?”

The rest of the family nods. 

He turned swiftly to his wife. “Pregnant?” 

The redhead glared at him, and he knew he was in trouble. Shaking her head, she sat up to address the table. “I don’t know where you all got the notion that I’m with child, but I can assure you that I am not.” 

“Oh,” His mother was crestfallen. She pressed her lips into a line before continuing, “Kate said-“

“Excuse me?” The woman in question countered. “I heard it from Sophie!”

“Hyacinth is who told me-” Sophie murmured sheepishly. 

The youngest Bridgerton had just taken her seat at the table when her name had come up. Glancing up from her plate, she surveyed the table. After a long sigh, she announced, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m innocent!” 

“You told everyone that I was pregnant?” Penelope all but whined. 

“Well, you are,” Hyacinth stated, unbothered. She shoved a piece of bacon into her mouth but continued, “If it matters, I heard it from Eloise.” 

Of course, the blame fell back on the one Bridgerton who was yet to arrive at Aubrey Hall. Penelope shook her head. “When did she tell you?” She looked back to her husband, who was growing even more confused. “I swear I am not!” 

Colin cleared his throat and placed his hands flat on the table in front of him, nearly gripping the placemat. “Penelope is not pregnant. Even if she were, I would be the first to know,”

He looked at his wife. “I would be the first to know, right, Love?”

“Oh, you bloody idiot, of course!” she hissed back. 

He nodded and turned back to the crowd. “As I was saying, she’s not pregnant. If she were, you would only know because I’d be shouting it from the bleeding rooftops.” 

Violet sighed, replying sympathetically. “Oh, darling,” She looked from Colin to Penelope a few times, “Oh, I am so sorry… we are so sorry.”

“It’s alright.” His wife calmly said. She hesitated before adding. “I’m going to down this glass of champagne in one gulp, and I want everyone to act completely normal about it.” 

“Ditto,” Anthony muttered, putting his glass to his lips.

Near the end of the meal, Penelope sat up and nodded toward Hyacinth. “What exactly did Eloise say to you?” 

It would later be confirmed that indeed, Hyacinth was incorrect in her assumptions. To be fair, Eloise had been driving in a spotty area of the countryside, so anyone could have easily taken the broken bits of the conversation as she had. “She’s expecting….arriving soon...don’t tell Penelope I told you.” 

Four

One of Penelope’s favorite things was showing her husband off, and she never missed an opportunity to do so. Whether she ran into the petty slags who used to turn their noses up at her in university or when she sees someone pondering over his books in the shops. Nothing made her beam like getting to tell people she was married to the Colin Bridgerton.  It worked out quite well as one of Colin’s favorite things was being shown off. 

When they’d first started dating, Penelope took immense pleasure in bringing him by her mother’s house on afternoons when she knew her siblings (and their bumbling spouses) would be around. It made her pulse race to see him interact with the unfortunate men to whom her sisters were married. Just knowing he was hers made a multitude of butterflies soar in her stomach. Everything about Colin was perfect to her, as was everything he did. 

This was why Colin now sat in the expansive hallway of Bramblewood Secondary School, just outside his wife’s classroom. It was a blustery Thursday morning and he could hear Penelope speaking to her students behind the door. She was winding up with what she called her “Housekeeping.” It consisted of reminders of deadlines and the schedule for the day. 

Colin tapped his foot on the glossy floor, impatiently waiting for his signal. Just as he was beginning to wonder if she’d forgotten about the visit, the door opened and his wife poked her head out, a smile playing madly on her lips. 

“Are you ready, my dear?” 

He stood to gather his things and followed her into the room. It was a dimly lit space, with only lamps and twinkle lights illuminating it. Four large windows lined the far wall, each with gauzy green curtains slung over them. There was a bulletin board plastered in prints of her favorite book covers. He spotted classics like Pride and Prejudice and Wuthering Heights , as well as her personal favorites, Brooklyn and The Perks of Being a Wallflower . 

An upcycled tissue box with the words TELL SOMEONE  written on the side was stuck to the wall by her desk. It was instantly recognizable since he’d watched her artfully paint and rhinestone it one night. 

Colin knew his wife was an amazing teacher, but it made him all the more proud knowing she was also a cool, empathetic as well.

He made it to the front of the room and looked over the sea of faces staring back. They all looked so... young . Certainly nothing like he or his siblings had when they were their age. Being that it was a Creative Writing course, the class consisted mostly of teenage girls. He had never felt so out of place. It was only the second time Colin had visited one of her classes. After the success of his last travel book, Penelope’s boss asked if her husband would be interested in sharing a little about how he began his career. When she brought it up the same night at dinner, the look of pure hope and glee on his wife’s face convinced him to oblige. 

Penelope cleared her throat and the students fell silent. Colin smiled, loving the way she seemed completely in her element. She commanded the room. 

“Everyone, I would like to introduce you to my very favorite person in the world, and my favorite author. My husband, Mr. Colin Bridgerton.” 

She gave him an encouraging nod before returning to her desk. 

The presentation he’d put together consisted of a PowerPoint on how he’d gone from graduating from university and journaling his way around the Mediterranean, to being a two-time New York Times bestselling author. As the presentation concluded, Penelope opened up the floor for questions.

A blonde named Malia’s hand shot up right away. Colin nodded to her. “Does Mrs. B ever test out her assignments on you?” 

“I can’t say that she does,” he replied with a chuckle.

“Are you related to Gregory Bridgerton?”

“Not sure how you might know him, but yes, he is my younger brother.”

Penelope raised her hand in his direction. “Greg’s photo hangs in the gymnasium, he still holds a few school records for the Rugby team.” And it was one of the more popular gathering sites of the Freshman girls who opted out of gym class.

“Have you ever read Mrs. B’s short stories?” another student asked. 

He looked to his wife, who only blushed. 

“You write short stories, Hun?”

The term of endearment garnered an “Aw!” from their audience.

With a roll of her eyes, Penelope replied, “Of course. I teach Creative Writing, Love.”

Parker Grimsby, a boy in the back row, piped up, “Mrs. B writes the funniest short stories.”

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised.” Colin smiled warmly. “Pen- Mrs. B is one of the best writers I know.”

Another “Aw!” 

Two more hands shot up. One was from a raven-haired girl wearing a rugby jersey over distressed jeans. Penelope pointed to her, and with a pop of her chewing gum, she asked.

“So, is Gregory single?”

Colin’s mouth fell open. It took a few seconds before he could find his voice. 

“He’s twenty-two.”

“And I’m sixteen.”

Penelope cleared her throat, breaking up the exchange. “Enough, Calliope.” 

Luckily for them, the suddenly uncomfortable session was cut off by the bell ringing. The students rose from their desks and began collecting at the door.

“Okay, Lords and Ladies!” Penelope announced, walking to see them out. “Don’t forget to bring your expressive journals tomorrow for our weekly reading. I expect an entry for every day this week!”

Once the room was empty, Colin watched as Penelope spun around. She grinned. “That went well, don’t you think?”

He watched as she weaved through the room, picking up discarded papers and straightening out the desks. 

She had mentioned something earlier that morning about a free period after his presentation, so he took his time shutting down his laptop and packing up.

“You look so handsome and professional with that,” Penelope told him, nodding at his leather briefcase. It was a birthday gift from his mother-in-law, and he’d yet to actually use it with all the writing he did from home. 

Colin gave her an intense smile and walked slowly towards her. He wrapped an arm around her waist. “Handsome enough to fulfill my schoolboy fantasies?” 

“Mmm, somebody’s hot for teacher.”

“Knock, knock!” came a voice from the doorway. 

The pair jumped apart. 

Penelope coughed, trying her best not to look guilty. “Colin, you remember Edy Sharma, Kate’s sister?” 

“Of course!” He smiled warmly, reaching to shake her hand. “I thought you taught at university.” 

Edy returned the smile. “I did, but now that I have my masters, I teach history here. It’s much closer to my flat and pays better.” She gestures to Penelope. “It also helps that I have friends around. The other professors were more than twice my age and extremely stuffy.”

“Don’t tell Eloise,” his wife whispered, “but Edy’s kind of like my work bestie.” 

Colin laughed. “I’m sure she could tell some stories.” 

“You have no idea.”

The blonde clapped her hands together. “Well, I must be off. I’m embarrassingly behind on grading.”

“It was good to see you again.”

Edy exited but popped her head back in a second later. “By the way, congratulations on the new addition!” With a wink, she was gone.

“The what?” Colin asked, his head turning to his wife. 

Penelope gasped, looking more than a little embarrassed. Whining, she confessed, “It was supposed to be a secret, for our anniversary.”

Colin was trying to quell the millions of thoughts that were running through his mind. He watched his wife fly across the room in a panic, the pencil she’d tucked into her bun falling out. After rustling through her desk drawer, she produced her mobile. 

“I’m not pregnant,” she stated calmly. She held up her phone. “But it is a baby.”

“Huh?” Colin thought out loud, taking the phone from her. Glancing down, he saw that on the screen was a picture of a small, tan puppy. 

“What in God’s name…” he murmured. “Is that a-“

“A pug, yes.” 

His eyes lit up. “How did you-”

“Your mum and I were talking the other day, and I mentioned wanting a dog but wasn’t sure if you’d agree. Then she said you had always wanted a pug like the one your neighbors had growing up, so I searched around and found this little girl.” 

“A girl?” Colin beamed. His was not the reaction she had been expecting, it was somehow better. 

Penelope nodded. “We get to pick her up tomorrow afternoon.”

Before she could explain further details, Colin wrapped his arms tightly around her. He nuzzled her ear and she smelled his fresh aftershave. 

“How did I ever get so lucky?” he whispered into her neck. 

Chills ran down Penelope’s spine. “I was thinking the exact same thing, Darling.”

They broke apart and Colin took the phone from her, just to stare at the picture. 

“I think I’ll name her Thea, after that funny old woman we met in Greece.”

Penelope giggled. She had the most considerate husband in the world. In some way, she thought this might be the first step to starting their family. She wouldn’t say it, however, as to not get Colin’s hopes up.

Five

Clouds parted and the sun shone over the townhome at No. 5 Romney Street as the third eldest Bridgerton ascended its front steps. Before he could reach the knocker, the door swung open to reveal his sister, Eloise, standing stock still in her foyer. She squinted as the rays crossed over her bleak face, looking a bit worse for wear. Her dark tresses were tied into two disheveled braids and the gray Exeter tee that she hid under her jacket was wrinkled. She stood to the side to allow her brother entrance.

“Is there a reason why you’ve summoned me here at 9 o’clock on a Sunday morning?” Colin questioned as he entered the house. 

Eloise rolled her eyes and closed the door behind them before leading him down the front hallway.

Colin held a fondness for Phillip’s family home. A beautiful townhouse in Kensington, it had been passed down for generations. While it wasn’t the most modern or updated house on the quiet street, there was a charm about it. The large, turquoise front door fit its owners perfectly. Eloise had brought to it new life when she moved in. For instance, just about every room now housed a bookshelf of some kind, and pictures of both sides of the family adorned the walls. 

They reached the small sitting room at the back of the house that Eloise used as her office. Colin glanced around the small space. There were prints from critically-acclaimed plays hung on the walls and show programs piled on her desk. 

Before he could take a seat, Colin transferred a stack of scripts to the floor. 

“Pippin-themed popcorn?” Eloise held out a tin of kettle corn to him. As a marketing agent for a theater on the West End, she was always receiving promotional gifts. 

“So, why am I here?” Colin grumbled, his mouth full.

She sat down in her chair and replied, “You’re my favorite brother.” At his skeptical stare, she faltered. “Penelope didn’t answer my calls.”

“Yeah, she had to meet her sisters for their monthly brunch.”

He sat back on the leather chair across from her desk. The air was thick with something but, with what, he couldn’t make out. 

It wasn’t odd for his sister to need advice on such short notice. When she first began dating Phillip there was a string of conundrums that required one or more of her siblings to come to her aide. Colin could recall one time, a few weeks into their relationship, when Eloise barged into their apartment one night ranting and raving about how the bastard had kids . In Phillip’s defense, theirs had been a strictly virtual relationship until that point. 

Eloise fiddled with the worn sleeve of her jacket and bit her lip. Her eyes swam with what her brother could only identify as worry. 

“So, where is everyone?” He wondered out loud.

“Oh, Phillip took the twins on a walk to the community garden. He’s teaching them to grow their own vegetables.” She chuckled slightly, perking up.  “It’s quite cute, actually. Some days they’ll come back with little updates on their progress or pictures of them proudly showing off a new blossom.” 

Matching her chuckle, he said, “Sounds adorable.” 

They sat in silence for a few moments. When the grandfather clock in the main hallway chimed, Eloise flinched. Careful to keep the wheels of her chair stationary, she pulled her legs to her chest and rested her head on her knees. A puff of air escaped her pursed lips.

“I think I’m pregnant.” 

Colin’s eyes shot straight to hers. His soft smile stretching into a wide grin. “I beg your pardon, dear sister?” 

“Don’t make me say it again,” she groaned. 

The bitterness of her tone sobered him instantly. “What’s wrong?”

“For starters, I could be pregnant,” she deadpanned. 

Not knowing quite how to respond, Colin took it upon himself to do the only thing he could think of and moved to stand behind his sister. In a careful yet steady move, he laid his palms on her shoulders. It was a risky move, but lucky for him, she didn’t flinch or brush him off. Instead, he felt her relax and place one of her hands on his.  

“I take it that Phillip has no clue,” 

Eloise snorted and whirled around to face him. “You’re the first one I’ve told.” 

“I’m honored.”

“I wanted to tell Penelope but, as you know, she wasn’t available, and this is basically the same thing.” 

He paused, eyes narrowing. “Thank you?”

Colin crossed his arms and sighed. “So, is there a reason that you haven’t, uh, confirmed this inkling?” 

She shrugged. 

“Uh-huh,” he mumbled in reply. 

“What if Phillip doesn’t want kids?”

Colin fought a smirk. “El, he already has kids.” 

His sister gives him one of her famous No shit, buddy! looks and, before he could defend himself, she let out a relieving chuckle. 

“I meant with me, Oh Wise One.” 

“You are so dramatic sometimes.” 

Eloise mocks his statement, sarcastically laying her hand over her heart. “Oh, I’m dramatic?”

He nods.

“Need I remind you who refused to speak to me for a whole two weeks simply because I ate the last scone at breakfast?” 

“That was different.” He bristled. “It was my birthday and those were my favorite blueberry scones from Henri’s. Penelope stood in line for two hours to get them.” He shook his head. “That’s beside the point,”

Heaving a sigh, Eloise rose from her chair and began pacing the small room. “Phil and I never talked about us having kids.”

“Oh?”

She shook her head. “As you can imagine, I didn’t put much thought into this union of mine.”

Colin drew in a breath before speaking. “I won’t pretend to know everything about marriage, though I am very good at it.” 

“Spare me.”

“Sorry,” He murmured. “I was just going to say that I find it hard to believe you and Phillip never discussed the possibility of children, that’s all. You’re both so open with one another.”

She gave him a sheepish smile and he continued, “It’s also customary to work through such things as how many children one wants before they marry.”

“We both know I never cared for propriety.”

They shared a laugh at the statement. 

Her engagement hadn’t been traditional. Not even her courtship was traditional. Eloise met Phillip on a dating app. They’d only dated for a few months before he asked her to move in with him and the twins. A busy Monday morning some months later, while she sat at the breakfast table braiding his daughter’s hair and listening to his son rattle off his vocabulary words, Phillip simply asked Eloise if she thought they should get married. She did, of course, and they were wed two months later. 

Colin cleared his throat. “You know as well as I do that your husband would be over the moon at this news. He’s told me time and again that his kids are his world.” Eloise’s eyebrows flew upward and he chuckled. “Next to you, of course.”

“He is a wonderful father.” She mused. “Oh, and babies do make him absolutely melt .”

The more Colin thought about it, the more he realized that maybe Phillip wasn’t his sister’s biggest concern. After all, this was the guy who infiltrated the kids’ table at more than one family function. The one who vied for little Violet or Charlotte’s attention as they crawled around the sunroom during mornings at Aubrey Hall. There was no doubt in his mind that Eloise’s husband was enamored with children. 

“If you’re worried about how you’d be as a mother, I implore you to stop this instant.” 

Eloise glanced up at him. “Excuse me?”

Her brother's lips spread into a warm smile. “You think Pen is the only one who can read you like a book, but as you said, I am the next best thing. You’re scared.”

“You’re mad.”

“Maybe,” He sighed, narrowing his eyes. “But I am right.”

When she didn’t respond, he continued. “I can tell you right now that whatever doubts you might be having are complete and utter bullshit.”

“What if I’m not maternal?” Eloise whispered.

“Rubbish, you’ve got just as much motherly talent as Daph or Sophie.” At that, she blushed but nodded for him to keep going, not wanting to stifle his complimentary diatribe. “You’re the one who stayed at Charlie’s bedside when he was in the hospital with the flu.” 

She waved him off. “That’s not motherly instinct, I was just the first one to get to the hospital.”

“You insisted on staying all night and the entire next day.” He reminded her. “And what about the summer Caroline toddled into the pond? I’ve never seen anyone jump in quicker. In a dress and a hat, no less.”

Eloise held up her hand to stop her brother while he was ahead. “Is there a point to this, or would you like to keep telling me how great I am? Because I can clear my schedule.” 

Colin laughed. “I’m only trying to show you that if anyone has a fierce, motherly bone in their body, it’s you.” 

Blushing, his sister covered her face. “Do you think so?”

“If I didn’t, do you think I’d be sitting here trying to convince you? You may be my little sister, but you are also one of my best friends.” He paused. “Don’t tell Daphne I said that.”

The younger Bridgerton giggled and looked up at him. “You really think I’m cut out for this?” 

He rolled his eyes. “Are you kidding? You’re Eloise Motherfucking Bridgerton.”

“Eloise Motherfucking Crane ,” she corrected him, standing up.

“Details…” He muttered and walked to her, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug. 

Later that night, Colin was doing dishes when a yelp came from the floor above. Penelope tore down the staircase and into the kitchen, little Thea hot on her heels.

Before he could dry his hands and search for the source of the noise, she was at his side, shoving her mobile in his face. He squinted, reaching to take it from her. 

“Look!” Penelope barked in exasperation. She looked at him and then back to the phone expectantly. “Look, do you see?”

The subject in question was a picture of a hand grasping a white stick, a plus sign on its tiny screen. It suddenly hit Colin that the picture was from Eloise. His face lit up.

“Blimey…” 

Penelope leaned over his shoulder and reached around to swipe the phone’s screen. The next picture was of Eloise holding the stick up, the tiniest hint of humiliation on her face. Phillip sat next to her on their bed, beaming. Both of the couple’s eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. 

A video call came through the screen not a second later, and his wife snatched the phone from him. She ran to the couch. Thea hopped right into her lap. Despite being his surprise, the puppy was turning into quite the Mummy’s girl.

“Oh my GOD!” Penelope squealed as the call connected. “I cannot believe you are pregnant.”

“I’m still waiting for it to sink in.” 

“Phillip, how are you feeling?” The redhead teased.

“I’m beside myself.” He looked to Eloise. “Just when I think I can’t love this woman any more, she surprises me.”

After a brief conversation between the two couples, Colin returned to his cleaning. He listened to his wife prattle on, squealing every so often.

A ping from his own phone pulled his attention away. He assumed it was the same set of pictures, but was surprised to see that the sender was not his sister, but Phillip. 

P : Thanks for being there for El. 

Colin smiled to himself and typed out a reply.

C : Any time, bro. Congratulations!

After closing and starting the dishwasher, he walked into the living room and sunk into the spot on the couch next to Penelope. Her hand found his and she squeezed it lovingly. His phone vibrated again and he pulled it out of his pocket. The text message put a hopeful grin on his face.

P: You’re next.

• One

A shrill bark sounded throughout the house, and Colin knew it could only mean one thing: Penelope was home. He heard her soft footsteps climbing up the stairs. The brunette looked up from his laptop. He was lounging in their bed, going over the press schedule for his newly released book.  

Penelope tossed the shopping bags she’d been toting onto the bench at the foot of their bed. He gave her a once-over. Her periwinkle sundress made her skin luminous in a way that drove him absolutely mad. Penelope kicked off her heels and crawled in next to him with a heavy sigh.

“Hey, Babe.”

“Hello, Darling,” Colin replied as he reached out and drew her into his side. “How was your day with Eloise?”

“Let me put it this way,” she began, “we will never throw another gender reveal party.”

“You know, out of all my sisters, let alone any woman ever, El is the last one I’d think would want one.” 

A rush of heat flooded him as Penelope ran her hands through his hair, her newly manicured nails tickling him. She hummed.

“Yes, well, it’s more for Oliver and Amanda. El wants to make sure they feel included in the pregnancy, so they’re not disdainful of the baby.”

When Eloise and Phillip told the twins about the new addition, they were overjoyed. That soon shattered when they came home from school the next day, crying because their friends said the baby was replacing them. Their parents had since been doing everything possible to assure them that they were mistaken.

“Either way, this is so not her scene.” 

With that, she freed herself from his grasp and picked up Thea who had been snuggled between her parents. She nuzzled her nose and let the pug lick her cheek. 

“Mummy missed my little girl,” Penelope cooed. “Oh yes, I did.”

Colin looked on, mirth rising in his chest. The bed shifted as he rose. He held out a hand for his wife, but she shook her head.

“Too tired. I need to close my eyes for a bit.” 

“Alright,” he replied. “I’ll go get started on dinner.”

Nearly an hour later, Penelope walked out of their bedroom. Her dress had been traded for an oversized sweater and yoga pants. 

Colin glanced up at his wife with a grin. “Feeling better?”

She nodded. 

“Thea was a mess today,” he said, turning back to the stove. “I think I walked her about twelve times.”

“She is a handful,” Penelope mused. “A cute handful, but still.”

“And I thought walking her in the rain at five in the morning was bad. Hardly got anything done on the tour itinerary.” Colin emptied the skillet of pasta into a large bowl. “Can’t imagine what having an actual baby would be like if a dog this small wears me out.”

“Did you work out your schedule?” Penelope asked eagerly.

“I did.” He passed her a plate of food and they walked to their kitchen table. “And you should be very excited.”

“Oh?”

Colin looked at her intently, a smile spreading across his face. He took her hand. “How do you feel about spending our anniversary in Paris?”

Her eyes lit up. “Really?” 

Ever since getting together, they had only been on a handful of trips. The tour of Greece they took for their honeymoon was the most extravagant. Penelope had grown up not traveling further than Yorkshire, so she immediately caught the bug. Unfortunately, their schedules hadn’t allowed for much more than family trips to Kent or weekends in the Cotswolds. Colin knew Paris had always been on her bucket list, as well as Florence. She was a romantic at heart, so the destinations made sense.

Colin nodded enthusiastically. “It’s during the second leg of the tour, next summer. I’ve also extended the reservation so we can spend a few extra days, just the two of us.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it lightly. 

“That sounds incredible,” she breathed. “But-”

“Pen, you’ll be on break from school. It’ll be fine.”

She shook her head, smiling. “No, I want to go, but-”

“But what?” He gritted his teeth. “I promise Nadine won’t even be around.” 

“I don’t think I’ll be up to the trip by then.”

A look of utter confusion spilled over Colin’s face. He’d planned his whole tour around her schedule, and she didn’t seem to give one single care. His wife had some faults, but she’d never once been a bit inconsiderate.

Suddenly, Penelope rose from the table and disappeared into their foyer. 

“Pen! Where the hell…” Colin called after her.

She reappeared seconds later, an envelope in her hands. She placed it in front of her husband. “Just...open this.”

“Why won’t you just tell me?” 

“Open it!” she demanded.

“Jesus, fine,” he rolled his eyes, tearing the top open and letting the contents fall onto the table. 

Colin looked down, his annoyed expression turning to one of perplexity. 

“I’m not sure why you thought Eloise’s sonogram pictures would make any more sense.” He looked up at his wife, who gave a huff. 

“Oh, you bloody git, look closer!” Penelope lifted the picture closer. 

His eyes searched the image for a moment, and then he let out a small gasp.

“Why does it say the patient’s name is P. Bridgerton?” Colin asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He shot up from his chair, looking at his wife. “Are you?”

The tears shone in Penelope’s eyes and she nodded vigorously. “I am,” she confirmed. “ We are.”

Without missing a beat, Colin wrapped his arms around her, and his own tears came. They stood together for what felt like hours, just clutching onto one another. Finally, he pulled back and beamed at her. 

“How...when?” He stammered.

Penelope blushed. “I’ve had my suspicions for a few weeks, but didn’t think much of it.” she said. “It’s not uncommon for my period to come late, and when I told El, she insisted I accompany her to the midwife today. Made me an appointment and everything.”

“Blimey,” Colin whispered, staring back at the little sepia blob.

He took her face in his hands and laid his lips on hers, kissing her hungrily. Penelope moaned and reached one hand to the back of his head.

An hour later, they were naked in their bed. Penelope sat up against the headboard while Colin laid against the pillows, his hand stroking her abdomen. Their dinner was left on the table to grow cold but neither one of them cared. 

“I’m only eight weeks along, so there’s nothing in there, you know.” she giggled. “They don’t even have ears yet.”

He looked up at her. “Hush now, we’re still getting acquainted.”

His hand continued its roaming. 

Penelope placed her hand over his. “How do you feel about this?” 

Colin’s lips spread into an even wider grin. “I am over the fucking moon, obviously.” He sat up a bit, dragging her body to him. Her back settled against his chest, his hands now tucked under her breasts. “I should be asking how you feel.”

“Honestly,” she began, “I don’t feel any different. My boobs are tender, but that’s it.”

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” he wondered, referring to their steamy session ten minutes before. 

“Colin,” Penelope giggled. “I’m fine. Besides, I always love how you... love me.” She rolled over so they were nose to nose. “You are the best husband in the world.”

She could feel herself choking up, but continued. “Nothing… no one I ever used to dream of could even hold a candle to you, Colin Bridgerton. I can’t wait to fill this house with babies and grow old with you.”

He smirked. “Oh, so now it’s ‘babies?’”

Penelope gave him an amused look. “You don’t want more than one?”

“I want ten!” Colin chuckled and squeezed the ticklish part of her hip. “You’ve just never mentioned it plurally.”

“Well maybe,” she tapped him on the nose, “you should listen a little better.”

With a satiated sigh, Colin pulled her on top of him. “I don’t think there’s another person in this world who could rule my every thought, my every breath, the way you do.”

Her tears started to fall and he swiped them gently from her cheeks.

 “I love you, Colin.”

“I love you, Pen.”

A few minutes later, Colin stood up and pulled on his boxers. 

“Where are you going?” Penelope laughed.

“There’s perfectly good pasta on the table,” he replied. “It certainly can’t go to waste!”

Penelope watched her husband dash out of their room. With a gleeful laugh, she fell against the pillows. Placing her hands on her belly, she whispered. “Your daddy will love you more than food, I promise.”