Chapter Text
Repetition in life isn't inherently a bad thing. To live each and every single day routinely, with little room for deviations can bring a certain joy into certain peoples lives. Certain people can find joy in a life of relative ease and peace without worry. After all, Marley won the Mid- East war, what wasn’t there to celebrate?
For the first time in four years Marley, the nation fixated on Titans and war, has finally settled down. Most Marleyans and even most Eldians could relax, as the nation entered a temporary stasis of tranquility. This temporary period of peace allowed people to settle down for a while, and possibly find a tiny, miniscule fragment of happiness in their seemingly horrendous lives.
Reiner Braun was not one of those certain people.
Reiner would wake up every day at the break of dawn, yet for some reason he always felt more and more tired as the days passed. Every day, Reiner would want to remain in bed forever, but still forced his way out of his alluring bed. Every day, Reiner would face the same fatigued, drained face in the mirror, yet he could never look at himself in the eyes. He can’t afford to look at himself much anymore. The blond man would rather analyze the occasional small smudges that would accumulate on his bathroom mirror. In retrospect, Reiner's apartment was quite nice, being able to house up to 3-4 people. One of the many perks of being a Warrior. However, Reiner’s apartment was absolutely filthy, with trash, dust, and grime scattered all over the apartment just like his bathroom mirror. Reiner would always put off cleaning since he never stayed in one place for long due to the war. Yet Reiner knew this was an excuse, as he has not had an assignment for weeks. Reiner knew the real reason for his horrible cleaning habits. He knew that if he cleaned out his home, it would only seem more barren and lonesome than it already was. On top of being entirely unmotivated, this fear of feeling even more empty aided in his apartment's deterioration, and once again Reiner left his filthy home uncleaned.
At the core of his character, Reiner wanted to be a hero. While as a child this aspiration was a broad, tacky dream any other aspiring warrior would have, Reiner's motivation stemmed from his fear of being alone. His own father abandoned him and while he loved his mother, Reiner knew how she truly felt about him. She saw him purely as a tool. A tool for a better future for herself. Not a son. Why would she ever look at him that way. The more he thinks back on his childhood, the more Reiner realizes he never had anyone to acknowledge him, to appreciate him, to love him...
“Reiiiiiiinerrrrrrr!!!!!”
A high pitched, screeching voice rang throughout Reiner's ear, making him gasp since his train of thought was suddenly disrupted. He swiftly turned around, having instantly recognized its origin. Gabi alongside Falco, Zofia and Udo all began running up to him, eager for his attention. Maybe it was Falco’s bird like eyes, but how on Earth did they spot him from meters away? Even though they seemingly met up with Reiner every day at the same exact place (right in front of his home), Reiner was continuously met with admiration and reverence by the four promising warrior candidates as if they were meeting him for the first time.
Undeserving admiration Reiner thought to himself, but nevertheless.
It was essentially Reiner's job to watch over the future Warriors, as one of them would eventually inherit his Armored Titan. As Reiner watched the four children push and shove their way to get to their idol first, Reiner became lost in thought again, but this time due to Reiner studying the future warrior candidates. Falco reminded Reiner of his younger self in some ways, in not only physical appearance but because of his inherent innocence as well. He was naturally kindhearted, yet possessed the determination to maybe one day catch up to the other Warrior candidates. Udo and Zofia were both excellent candidates in their own right, but neither seemingly excelling at anything. However, both were hard working and deserved their candidate position. Gabi was obviously the best choice to inherit the Armor. Due to her unwavering determination and aggressive nature, Reiner knew that she would never back down in a fight. The way she would stand strong was indicative of a good wall for Marley, an unbreakable will that could lead her people to freedom from oppression under Marleyan rule. Gabi once told Reiner that by inheriting the Armored Titan, she would show Marley that she alongside her family and friends were “good Eldians” and not those Island Devils. As if there were walls between what defined a good Eldian from a bad one.
Walls… Island Devils… The thoughts in his head started to become cloudy at those phrases, but why? Anyways, Gabi was easily the clear candidate for the Armored Titan, much to Falco’s dismay. Reiner knew that Falco wanted to protect Gabi from the dark future that warriors face, but they both knew that unless Falco stole the position from Gabi himself, he could never stop her. How could he? Gabi was naturally inspiring as she led the other warriors to him. She took the lead in their sprint towards Reiner and it was not even close. She carried herself with a certain resolve that was intertwined with a certain rage, a certain fire within her soul. The way she carried herself almost reminded him of…No. Reiner hasn’t thought of him in years, let alone any of those Island Devils. Island Devils... The more he thinks of this phrase the more pained his heart feels.
“Reiner… why are you muttering to yourself? I think I even heard you mention the word Devil?”
Reiner quickly realized that eight piercing eyes were all trained on him, and that the four children standing in front of him have probably been standing there for quite some time.
“O-oh, it’s nothing. Why are you all here? Aren’t Sundays your day off?”
Reiner can already feel sweat accumulate on his brow. He coughed once, hoping they wouldn’t ponder why Reiner was acting even more deranged than he normally was.
“Yeah but Gabi forced all of us to come meet you. She wants extra training for whatever stupid reason” Udo scoffed.
“Well at least I’m trying to improve you stupid nerd. Go home if you wanna whine all day” Gabi retorted. “Not surprising you can’t keep up with such a wonderful candidate like myself”.
Smug as always.
“That statement doesn't even make sense, you shit brain! ‘Stupid nerd’. I can’t believe a dumbass like you is even our top warrior candidate.” Apparently Udo was in a bad mood.
“What did you say?!?!?” Gabi screamed. Apparently she was not in the best of moods either.
For being two highly trained warrior candidates, they bickered and fought like the children they really were.
“Guys stop it!’ Falco exclaimed. He desperately tried getting between the two but he was far too passive to be even remotely effective. “It’s only 9 am and you’re both being stupid”.
Wrong choice of words. Now all three were bickering and misbehaving in front of Reiner's apartment. Great.
“You know... Gabi won’t admit it, but she dragged us here because she really just wanted to hang out with you today” Zofia said calmly.
Reiner almost jumped, as he entirely forgot Zofia was even here. She was always too calm in any given situation. He quickly sighed and proceeded to split up the bickering children.
“Hey, I will follow you guys around today but you have to start behaving,” Reiner exclaimed. He was assigned to watch over these four, but he never signed up to parent them as well.
“Alright! Lets go get something to eat!” Gabi beamed, instantly cheered up. None of the four said it outright, but Reiner could tell that they are excited he agreed to hang out with them.
Not that Reiner had really anything else better to do, as he really didn’t. He had no hobbies or interests really. Like every other day, Reiner lived an emotionally taxing, draining existence, each day bleeding into the next. Perhaps just spending time with these four will make his repetitive life a little more worthwhile. The four proceeded to lead the way and Reiner shortly followed. As Reiner watched the four walk ahead of him towards whatever dining hall they planned on going to, Reiner blinked.
In that short time the four young warriors were replaced by four figures. By the time Reiner blinked again the four figures became Gabi and the others once again. Not an entirely strange occurrence, Reiner was no stranger to hallucinations every once in a while. The young warriors did remind him of himself alongside his friends. However this time Reiner's hallucinations stopped himself dead in his tracks.
In that split second Reiner saw himself, Bertholdt, Annie and… Eren.