Work Text:
4:15 a.m.
That’s what showed on the phone. Set at it’s lowest brightness so that he doesn’t disturb Harley, who was sleeping peacefully beside him.
It was late, and Peter hadn’t slept. He couldn’t.
What does it take to break a heart, and what does it take to heal it?
They had been fighting a lot lately. Peter felt like they were growing apart into their own lives, instead of the one they promised to share together. And he couldn’t do anything.
It hurt so much.
They never teach you that you break your own heart loving people, before they break yours.
Another tear rolled down as he loses another night of sleep.
“You’re my happiness, my sadness and my hope. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Sorry, I’m late, I got caught up in work…”
“It’s ok! I understand.”
“I completely forgot, I’m so sorry!”
“It’s ok. This- this is fine.”
“I just didn’t feel like it…”
“Oh.”
Where did it go wrong? Peter wasn’t being able to pinpoint it; weren’t they perfect? Tony, Pepper, literally everyone who saw them, isn’t that what they said? Isn’t that what he believed?
Was it all along? Or was it somewhere in between all those moments?
Where was it?
5:01 a.m.
He remembers that day in the restaurant, where he and Harley had their first date. It was so nice, it made him feel elated.
And he remembers sitting in the same restaurant, waiting for him to turn up, only to be disappointed.
He remembers the park.
He remembers the drunk texts.
He remembers every bit.
And he remembers how much it hurts.
5:17 a.m.
He chokes on a sob as he remembers how they fought last night.
“You’re being irrational!”
“Harley I’m just saying that you need to give me more time! We need to give each other more time!”
“I can’t give you more time! Already give you more than enough!”
“Oh.”
He turns to look at the figure sleeping beside him. How can he be so peaceful? When he is causing so much pai-
No.
Peter is causing himself pain. Harley isn’t to be blamed.
And yet, it hurts. It hurts when he realises he hasn’t heard “I love you” from Harley is so long.
It hurts as he remembers the ring in that box in the drawer. Stowed away, so that it remains a surprise.
It hurts to think about how much it hurts.
It hurts.
Peter could scream at Harley for hurting him so badly, but he can’t say a thing. Only the uncontrollable flow of tears shows how much he is hurting.
“When I said you’re my sadness too, why did you take it so seriously?” He whispers to the sleeping, clutching the sheets he sat on.
“Why?”
He could leave all this. He could walk away, and never look back. He could trash that ring. He could-
But he knows he won’t. He can’t. He loves him.
Even if it hurts.
Even if it kills him.
Clenching his jaw, he lies down, hoping he can fall asleep. He knows it won’t be easy to, but he’s too tired at this point. Correction, he’s exhausted. He’s way too tired to stay awake anymore. Heartbroken as he might be, he still needs sleep.
“I love you” is the last thing he whispers, before he falls asleep against his will.
“I love you” is the last thing Harley hears before it goes silent. He waits for some time before sitting up, his own face shining with tears.
“I love you too, I love you so much,” he whispers. “I just don’t want you to be more heartbroken than you are now. I know I’m hurting you, and I hate myself for it, but how am I tell you, I am living on borrowed time? That I don’t have much time left?”
“I’m sorry Peter, that I hurt you so much. I’m so, so sorry.
“I love you so much.”