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Second Helping of Sanji

Summary:

Sanji watched as Blackleg leaned down and whispered something in Zoro’s ear. Zoro grinned like he did before a fight.
Enough. Enough of this. Zoro was going to make a fucking fool of himself, convinced that he liked men just because Blackleg gave him a little attention. Zoro didn’t like men, Zoro was one of the manliest men Sanji knew, Zoro would likely ridicule Sanji for liking men, or if he didn’t, he’d ignore him. Right?

Because if not, what was the whole fucking point? What had Sanji been doing all this time?

When Blackleg kissed Zoro, Sanji felt like he was going to fucking vomit.

When they disappeared into an alley out of his sight, he did.

-----
On a mysterious island out of the way of the Strawhat's path, Sanji accidentally poofs an older self into his universe. Older Sanji (Blackleg, as they call him), knows how to cook, loves the ladies, and can fight better than Sanji himself. The only problem is that this older Sanji is dating his own Zoro, and seems intent on doing the same with Sanji's Zoro.

Except, Zoro isn't his, not that way.

Zoro's not even interested in men.

Right?

[on hiatus but not abandoned]

Chapter 1

Notes:

First off, thank you to the cool and sexy sydneyxface for betaing this and cheering me on.

This fic has almost literally possessed me I'm pretty sure. It began as a fun conversation about how sensitive (or not) Zoro is during sex and then it came out of my computer and demanded I write. Even now my body is held hostage. Like no joke I've been having a 4 day long anxiety attack as of the time of writing this, and I feel like this fic is at fault.

This was intended to be a few feelings and a lot of porn, but as tends to happen with these things, some plot snuck in there on the way.

I hope you'll stick with me on this ride. As always, I promise to finish it. I just needed to post something before I forgot how to breathe.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It started with Sanji and a cave.

 

But before all that, it started with an island.

 

Luffy noticed it first, off the starboard bow. It caught his interest despite-or perhaps, especially because-it wasn’t where the log pose was pointing. After the initial protests from his navigator and sniper, on account of it looking like a giant porcupine that might rise out of the ocean and eat them if they got too close, the crew acquiesced. The island was essentially dome shaped, but covered in varying sizes of conical rock formations jutting straight upward.

 

Upon arrival, they discovered a message, stained onto rock with ink or berries, in plain writing, though faded. “GET OUT BEFOR[- ----] L[-- --]SE [----] IN 48 HOURS”

 

“Oh my, what if the island comes alive every two days and eats anything living on it.” Robin said.

 

“Robin!! Don’t say something like that!” Usopp yelled, clutching Chopper in his arms, Chopper clutching right back.

 

“That’s right, obviously it’s about the log pose. Right?” Nami said, shaking and holding onto Usopp and Chopper both.

 

“Right! Right!” Chopper nodded.

 

“Whatever, as long as we leave before two days we’ll be fine!” Luffy declared. “Besides, if it does come alive I’ll beat its ass! And then we can eat it! Sanji! Cook the island!”

 

Sanji did not cook the island. Instead he kicked Luffy in the head. “Shut up shitty rubber, can’t you see it’s made of rocks.”

 

“Your head is made of rocks.” Zoro muttered.

 

“What was that?!”

 

“Rock head, full of rocks.”

 

“Yow! You need to work on your zingers, Zoro-bro!” Franky said, shaking his hand like he had been burned. Sanji was already trying to take Zoro’s head off with a kick.

 

“Ugh, Franky, don’t bother paying attention to them. You’ll get used to it. Okay! Everyone listen up!” Nami said.

 

“Yeeees Nami-swannn! Tell us your brilliant plan!”

 

“We’re going to explore this island to stock up on food. If you want to have an adventure, keep it under 40 hours. We leave at 45, no questions asked!”

 

“Yahoo!” Luffy yelled and then ran off up the first incline towards a tight cluster of rocks.

 

“And don’t-!” Nami called after him, but he’d already stretched his arms out to one of the formations to slingshot himself further. “Ugh, nevermind. If one breaks and falls on him he can deal with it himself.”

 

With that, everyone followed Luffy up. The path was mostly an incline, with the occasional stair-like stone here and there.

 

“This path looks artificial. See the mark of stone-cutting tools here?” Robin pointed out as they went.

 

“Oh! Maybe there’s someone who can tell us where to find herbs! I could use some more anti-inflammatories.” Chopper said.

 

When they reached the top of the path, they entered what could be a community gathering place. The stone points rising around the level area had modern doors and windows built into what Robin identified as some artificial and some naturally occurring openings. There were benches, cultivated plant areas, and even a fountain. But the fountain was empty except some rain water, the plants were overgrown or dead, and the dwellings were all completely empty. 

 

“Anybody hoooommeee?? Excuse the intrusion! Is anyone hereeee?” Luffy yelled as he ran around. He reached for a door to open-

 

“Luffy!” Robin said, much more stern than was expected. Luffy stopped in his tracks, looked back at her. Robin had walked over to one of the dwellings and was inspecting it. “I think these are very very old. Please treat them with care.”

 

“Oh, sorry Robin!” Luffy laughed.

 

“I’m sorry, Captain-san. It’s just not often you come across such well preserved history out in the open like this. And the modern techniques are quite confusing.”

 

“It’s okay! I’m glad you told me! Besides, I like when you use my name.”

 

Robin looked almost bashful for a moment, but Luffy wasn’t paying attention any more. 

 

Nami let her shoulders fall, the moment of tension passed. The circumstances of Usopp leaving were still fresh in their minds. Nami looked over to Zoro to gauge his response. Did he think Robin had gone too far? She could tell Usopp was looking too. But Zoro looked his usual neutral self, more concerned with trying to kick Sanji in the shin. That, or play footsie with him. She let out a sigh and squeezed Usopp’s shoulder.

 

“Come on, I’ll help you find some new ammo or something.” Nami said to Usopp. She wasn’t sure what they could find here but it was as good an excuse as any to explore together.

 

“Okay, yeah, let’s do that.” Usopp said.

 

They wandered off, heading up on the other side of the community circle. There were more gatherings of rocks, heading towards a generalized peak at the center of the mountain. Nami was curious if it had any effect on the weather. They hadn’t hit any rain on their way here, but mountains did things to precipitation and wind. There was a strong breeze blowing over the island, but only by human standards. Navigating it had been easy as taking money from a baby.

 

“Nami-san! I’ll come with you!” Sanji called, catching up with her and Usopp. “If we can’t find anything to shoot I bet we can find something to eat,” he said, giving Usopp a friendly nudge with his elbow. Usopp chuckled. It wasn’t even a joke on Sanji’s part, but Nami could tell he’d been putting effort in to make sure Usopp felt like part of the crew still.

 

Usopp’s leaving was different than Nami’s, or now Robin’s. She couldn’t quite empathize with Usopp’s exact motivations. She left because she had terrible obligations, a village to protect. Usopp left because- well, he hadn’t said why, other than Merry. But they knew each other well enough she could tell it wasn’t just that. He struggled with feeling like he was part of them. He put pressure on himself to achieve the same as their three monsters in battle and feared rejection and abandonment if he couldn’t reach those frankly inhuman standards.

 

She wished Usopp could better recognize what he contributed to the crew. Brute force wasn’t his strength: it was reach, and cunning, and improvising. She hoped Enies Lobby showed him some of that. They wouldn’t have been able to save Robin without him. She wouldn’t be able to develop her own weather-based attacks without his initial and continued invention and improvement on her clima-tact. Maybe she’d pay him back for the initial cost of materials. Ah, but that was so long ago, surely he’d forgotten that she might, perhaps, maybe, owe him some cash.

 

The three of them wandered the island. Nami made some cursory map sketches in her notebook, particularly to keep track of where Sanji found edible plants to gather in earnest later. When they reached the peak she stayed there, tearing out her drawing to give to the boys for their own use. It was an incredible view. The stone spikes of the island either coalesced into one piece or didn’t form here at the top, giving her a clear view of the whole island. Perfect for mapping it. The ground was almost level, too. Perhaps the island formed from underwater vents?

 

She spent the couple of hours of daylight they had left filling out more initial sketches. She could only get so much done without her tools but the trek down and back up would take too long to justify it. When she finished what she could, she took the time to really admire the view, watched the clouds for how the peak affected wind currents, and watched her crew below.

 

Robin had moved to what looked like another collection of rock formations used for residence, or, Nami assumed, trade. Most of the island looked like it was inhabited at one point, and for a population that big, she couldn’t imagine them surviving on their own. It was large, for sure, and seemed to have plenty of tropical beach life, but the majority of it was covered in rock, with patchy, hard vegetation growing in between. In fact, there was no forest, very few trees or even bamboo for building boats. She wondered how they had survived. But maybe that was why they weren’t here anymore? Maybe they left a long time ago or died out. Robin would have answers.

 

Nami caught sight of Franky’s shocking blue hair moving across the deck of the Sunny. Probably tweaking something. That brown spot on the grass might be Chopper. Luffy hadn’t been seen since he ran off on his own again, but there were no local governments to overthrow and he’d find his way home eventually. After all, the island was a closed loop. And if that warning at the shore was anything to worry about, Luffy would probably find the trouble it referred to as well.

 

They could spend another day here, so Luffy had time to stay lost if he wanted to. Tomorrow she’d carry her cartography tools up here. Maybe she could get Zoro to do it in exchange for decreasing his debt. She knew Sanji would but she didn’t want to distract him from stocking up on food.

 

Speaking of Zoro, he emerged from behind a copse of rocks in the distance. She could just make out that he was yelling (probably at Sanji) while carrying a large basket of fresh food on his back. She held her thumb and forefinger up, pretending to squish him, and laughed to herself. Tiny green ant man. A leg kicked out at Zoro and then Sanji and Usopp appeared from the same rock before all three of them disappeared from her view behind another set of rocks. She should probably head back to the ship herself. The sun wasn’t quite setting yet but she didn’t want to be picking her way down unfamiliar steps and paths in no light in terrain as hard and unforgiving as this.

 

At dinner Robin shared her findings with everyone (Luffy found his way home for food, of course). She and Franky had found a mine that went under the island, possibly even below sea level. They took sample scrapes from the walls a ways down and Franky was running tests on them.

 

“I don’t know what they were mining, exactly, but it’s quite odd that there is very little evidence of metal work on the island itself. If they were mining for ore, where was all of it going?” Robin said.

 

“Maybe into building ships? There’s not really any viable amount of lumber here.” Nami supposed.

 

Robin hummed in acknowledgement. “There are no docks, though. We were lucky to find a land shelf to anchor along. Did you see any docks while you were at the peak, Navigator-san?”

 

Nami didn’t startle at Robin’s knowledge of her whereabouts for the day, not anymore. At this point, everyone was used to her knowing more than one would expect. And Robin finally felt comfortable revealing it plainly instead of with cryptic references. “No, not that I saw.”

 

“And that begs the question, how did they make their mining equipment in the first place? There was very little equipment left behind. And typically you need easily manipulated materials, like wood, to build more complex tools. What about smelting? How did they start fires?” Robin tapped her chin, a small smile spreading just for a moment, “Many questions indeed. Ah, but it’s a shame we are on such a limited timeline. I’m sure many of them will go unanswered.”

 

Nami wasn’t quite as regretful as Robin about that, though she was curious. She was thankful their timeline didn’t affect her own goals quite so much. She turned back to her food, just in time to pin Luffy’s wandering hand with her fork.

 

The next day was perfect weather, clear, no fog, and very little wind. Everyone set out with backpacks of lunch and water. It was warm, but not so much that Nami had to worry that sweat would smudge her ink. The clouds were moving lazily across the sky, and Nami got to work at the peak of the island. It was Sanji who helped her with her equipment in the end, since Zoro elected to stay on the ship as watch while everyone else wandered. Sanji said he was already headed her way, wanting to get to the beach on the other side of the island to look for clams and other shellfish. Usopp had joined them again. He seemed more comfortable around Sanji than he had before he tried to leave. Nami wondered if something had happened between them to make that change.

 

As she mused and mapped, the sun trekked its path across the sky. She heard footsteps approaching on the rocky path behind her. Sanji and Usopp must have finished hunting clams. She looked down from her lense, made one last mark on her parchment, and then turned to greet them as they passed by.

 

Usopp appeared first, eyes down, and looked...freaked out? Oh shit. But he wasn’t running. Damn was someone pointing a gun to his back? His hands weren’t up though. Before she could decide what to do, Sanji appeared behind him. He looked a little less freaked out but not injured, and she knew he wouldn’t give up without a fight. And then Sanji appeared behind Sanji.

 

Wait.

 

What?

 

Nami rubbed her eyes, sure she was seeing some atmospheric illusion created by the high altitude. 

 

But when she opened them, there stood a second Sanji. And he wasn’t a mirror image or a double, either. He was taller, he had an actual goatee rather than scruff, and his hair was parted to the other side. That eyebrow was the same though. Ridiculous.

 

“Um???” she said.

 

“Nami, there you are!” Usopp said, noticing her. “You won’t believe what happened!”

 

“Nami-san I can hardly believe it myself.” Sanji-well, familiar Sanji said.

 

“Oh! Nami-swaaan! What a wonder to see you! As I remembered, short hair looks just as good on you!” That was the second Sanji as he twirled towards her.

 

She grabbed her clima-tact on instinct, ready to defend herself from this clear imposter. Had Bon Clay died and his devil fruit already regrown? Was this Bon Clay? But he looked different than Sanji did when they first met!

 

Before he could get anywhere near her though, Sanji, their Sanji ran in front of him and stopped him in his tracks.

 

“Oi, bastard, watch where you’re going! Obviously this is freaking our wonderful navigator out!”

 

“Hey, don’t talk to me like that! I’m your senior.” Weird, alter Sanji snarled. But then his features smoothed out. “Hm, you do have a point though. I’m sorry Nami-san. I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m not quite sure what’s going on myself.”

 

“What the hell?!”

Notes:

This was originally going to be called something like I Wish That I Knew What I Know Now, When I Was Younger, or some variation. It's a line from The Faces song Ooh La La which I would recommend listening to!
My exposure to it is wholly an amazon ad I had to watch at least 100 times while streaming Haikyuu! on my phone a few years back. So I strongly associate the song with living in a homeless shelter's family room, and false nostalgia generated to sell things. It's a fun song though!