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since when did charlie hold whatever they wanted to say? weren't they the one who always said the most random shit that came to their brain? whether is was honest or rude, they said it
since when did zari became that shy and quiet person who felt out of her body all the time, like she wasn't her anymore? like there was someone filling up her space (because there was)
was it since zari completely broke the norms of the timeline and basic legends criteria just because charlie was in danger and she thought she will lose them forever? was it since charlie spent 1 year having completely random periods of time where they remembered everything about "the other zari" and no one believed them? or was it since they looked at each other for the first time again but they felt like their bodies were frozen, stuck in the same spot, incapable of running into each other like they wanted to?
but this was -- different
now everything is different
but was the difference the one who made them do what they did?
it felt like releasing a whole sack of rocks in their backs, the tension between them needed to explode
when the legends finally rescued charlie from their sisters (or sister, since atropos was killed by sara), the trauma and the invasive thoughts still tormented them, as they could hear lachesis footsteps getting closer in the hallway, or a sudden whisper that followed them everywhere, was it all in their head or did lachesis do some weird spell in revenge?. charlie still shivered everytime behrad or nate came to their room to check if they were having a panic attack and needed a glass of water and a big hug, the fear of a shape coming close enough to her was almost irrational, thank beebo for ava's kind and gentle touch that always included soft and almost-whispered words who always made charlie's brain slow down a little, same with sara, same with lita, and even mick, who's talent was make charlie laugh with his try of motivational speech
but there was always one person who never came into charlie's room, who almost evaded coming close to the south-side of the quarters area, where they were located, just one person, not even the most distant member of the ship was so cold.
it almost felt like zari was escaping from them, it was awkward, and how come it was like this? she spent 1 year, which felt like almost 10 for her, in the totem, her story with charlie ended as soon as it started, she hugged them for the last time and that angsty "sorry" vanished from charlie's mind because of the timeline crystallizing
if charlie could ran across the room to zari's arms everytime the team reunited, they would
if zari could finally hug charlie after the last time, she would
so why didn't they?
the legends parted in two groups, one went to find gideon and finally start the ship, and the other went to explore and hopefully kill the last sister, "-who stays with charlie?"- sara asked, the team always left one person taking care of them just in case something happened, everyone took turns and it was behrad's turn, so everyone stared at him
"-wowowow, hey, I love charlie but I really need to go on this mission, come on"- he begged
"-I'll stay" - exclaimed, with no hesitation, a voice from the other corner of the room, there was a big silence, it was zari
"-are.. are you like... sure? I think you are not in good terms with charlie right now, or that's the energy im getting idk about you guys"- ava said
"-hey, if she wants to stay she will ok! let her be!!"- nate said, defending his girlfriend
"-thank you, nate"- zari said
"-dont worry about it, everything for my girlfriend!"-
girlfriend
zari forgot about nate for a second
zari had forgotten about nate since she saw charlie for the first time again
the 2 groups left and zari was alone, alone with charlie, who was still in their room, at that point the team was communicating between one group to another and sometimes they updated zari, who was bored as hell, although her control over boredom had improved since the totem is not a very fun source. everything was quiet until someone started going down the hallway
charlie's shape showed up through one of the main arches, zari first sense was say something, an attempt to break that weird and awkward ice between them
"-look who finally came out of their room"- zari said, in a playful tone "-wait why do I sound like a 40 year old mom"-
"-why are you here"- charlie replied, that jokey tone was immediately shut down by charlie's mix of confusion and anger
"-because someone needs to take care of you? why are you mad?"-
"-well I feel perfectly fine so that tells you everything about how useless your presence is right now"-
"-wow wow wow ok, so you are getting mad at me for following the same thing the team has been doing? its clear that you have a problem with me"-
"-and why would you think that? you are the one evading me!"-
"-ok so we clearly have a problem here, can we talk? I was just trying to comprehend your weird non verbal language"-
"-I wasn't trying to do anything!"- charlie's tone was a little too loud for the silent and almost abandoned ship "-do you think I wouldn't have talk to you earlier?"-
"-ok! so lets talk now then, what's going on"-
"-i was about to ask the same thing to you, what's going on with YOU"-
"-passing the hot potato between us is not going to fix any of this weird thing that we created"-
"-can we fix it, zari? can we? you said you loved me and then immediately erased from existence for a year just because you were trying to save me, and we I finally got you back all of the sudden you are ignore me while you go back with your fake ass boyfriend"-
"-so you are jealous?"- it was like zari's brain stopped working for a second and it let out whatever words came in first, even if they were the wrong ones
"-its not about jealousy, is about me thinking I would lose you forever"-
the room went completely silent
"-what the fuck would I do without you? where would I be if it wasn't for you gaving up your life and risking a whole timeline for me?"-
"-i don't even know what is going on, I came back and you weren't there, everyone forgot about my existence and replaced me with another version of myself, I don't even know what am I doing here yet, I still feel like a complete interference on you guys lives, especially on yours, im scared if I stayed with you it would be a matter of time for you to start glitching too"-
"-I know who you are zari, I know you better than any person in this world, I looked for you, in my short times of realization I worked so hard to get you back, and only for you to run away from me?"-
"-do you think I wouldn't have run to you everytime you were around?"-
"-then stay! who gives a shit about my existence changing if at the end of the day im with you!"-
"-are you being serious right now or..."-
"-of course i am! who do you take me for? im not some fake bland boyfriend who you can get rid of so easily, you will have to start dealing with me being around again because I want to be with you, all the time, I don't care if we don't have that much left, or if we have a whole lifetime to spend, I want you to stay, with me"-
by the time charlie was done talking they were both crying. zari felt like she was the one finally waking up and realizing the reality instead of her friends, it wasn't anything she didn't know, her and charlie's love for each other has always been there, ever since they had their first mission together, ever since she left and cried in the totem for not having the chance to talk to them just one more time, and ever since she came back and she silently missed charlie's touch while not being able to do nothing because of their both scared and disoriented souls.
"-...im sorry"- zari exclaimed in between tears
"-no no no hey, im sorry, I should have told you everything sooner"-
"-I should've too, im so stupid"-
"-no, you are not"- zari's tears were still falling like crazy from her crystalized eyes, charlie tried to wiped them off with her fingers, while her vision was still very blurry, zari stared deeply at their eyes, they were the most beautiful eyes she has ever seen, they were a little teary too, so she wiped them off, she ended up holding charlie's face, god why were they so beautiful? she could look at every detail of their face for hours, their curls falling in their forehead and lips slowly growing a little smirk
zari held charlie's face one more time and grabbed it over, and she kissed them, it was like time froze for a moment, they forgot about everything, it was just them in the world, it felt like they had a second chance to start over, or until zari had to go back, but who cared about that now? everything that mattered in that moment was their soft lips finally meeting, and charlie holding zari's face with so much care, and zari playing with that little curl that was resting in their face earlier, and every. single. touch. their foreheads rested on each other while they heavily breathed close enough to hear their rapid heartbeats.
if that moment could last forever, it would be the only thing charlie will want to live for the rest of their life
zari hugged charlie just like she did the last time, although this time it was 10 times better, with 10 times more love than the last time
and while she stayed in that exact same position, she finally said something
"-you know that I need to go back to the totem right? I don't want to, I want to stay with you forever, but I will to come back, I need to find the way to"-
"-I know"- charlie interrupted her, in an attempt to evade the inevitable, their abrupt goodbye all over again, the once few nights of realization that hurted more than a salted wound, only this time it will be even harder, because the thought of losing her, the love of her life, again will forever live in their mind, like a constant reminder that every almost perfect experience was only that, an almost, a thing that will never be perfect, and the moment that seemed to be could possibly be one of their last ones, so charlie just hugged her tighter. "-I know".