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Taking showers was one the few things at King’s that Marcus loved wholeheartedly. His classes in the deadly arts taught by brutal teachers and a soul crushing social hierarchy melted away when the warm water was cascading down his back. Most of these kids here had no idea how great a shower could feel. How the water could magically unfuck your head just a little bit with each droplet pitter-pattering onto your skin. Most people didn’t appreciate it because they never knew what it was to go without. During his time homeless and on the run the cold morning rain or skinny dipping in the ocean at night was usually the best he could get for a wash. Marcus knew Lex and Billy always appreciated a shower too. He glanced over his shoulder to see the two of them at the showers on the other side of the room, similar looks of pleasure on their faces. Lex had told him once when he first came to California he was homeless too. He survived by couch surfing from one house to the next, sharing the bed of anyone who would take him home and roughing it on park benches when he couldn’t find anything better. The home Billy grew up in wasn’t much better, but at least he had a roof over his head. It was a roof that leaked when it rained and a house where the utilities were rarely turned on and was the place where his piece of shit father came home to every night… so yeah not really much better.
They were all here now and despite everything that sucked about King’s, the showers had great water pressure. Marcus had to get to going though. Atypical combat skills had left him hot and sweaty and stopping to rinse off was cutting into his study hall time. The librarian who monitored his study hall was cool, but she would still be slapping his wrist with a ruler if he didn’t get there soon. He turned the knob to kill the water and quickly toweled off while all the other boys were still rinsing suds out of their hair. He wrapped the now damp fabric around his waist and, feeling a bit mischievous, slapped Lex’s ass on his way to the locker room. This elicited a short squeak followed by a loud “Oi! Cunt!” from the Brit. Marcus was smiling to himself as he reached his locker. He dialed in the combo and then stripped off the towel again to give his face and hair another once over.
“You like slapping your boyfriend’s ass like that in the bedroom too?” a rough voice from behind him asked.
Marcus froze, but not because of the words. He froze because the words were accompanied by a hand rubbing against his ass. He jerked the towel away from his face and spun to see who was touching him. It was Troy, a low ranking shit eater from the Dixie Mob. He was a big dude and he still had a hand on Marcus, rubbing small circles and squeezing now. Memories flooded to the forefront of his brain and their impact hit him like a train. He couldn’t go there now. He had to concentrate. Had to get out, get away, escape. Marcus knew he couldn’t beat Troy in a head on fight. Shit. Maybe he could talk his way out.
“Or do you two faggots take turns? He slaps your ass while he fucks you and you slap his while you plow him.” Troy continued.
Marcus let a small smile build on his lips, despite panic flooding every nerve of his body. “Don’t you know, a gentleman never kisses and tells. How about you? Do you like to spank you sister when you fuck her? Or do you like it when your brother holds you down and punishes you for being a naughty boy?”
The calm and confident look in Troy’s eyes seized up into rage. Both hands come up to roughly shove Marcus into the locker behind him. He takes a small moment to be thankful both hands are now on his shoulders.
“You take that back you dirty fucking fairy or I’ll-”
“Make me regret it? By what? Making me suck your dick? That’s pretty gay man,” Marcus shoots back, smiling more now that he’s starting to get Troy riled up.
Troy pulled him back and slammed him into the lockers again, “Shut up faggot!”
“You came onto me, guess that makes you a faggot too.”
“Doin’ all right here lads?” Lex chimed in. Both he and Billy stood at the entrance to the locker room.
Just as Troy was about to throw a punch, he chose to shove Marcus aside and away from him. Marcus used the opportunity to wrap his towel back around his waist.
“We’re fine, I was just trying to get Marcus here to tell me how gutter trash like him got with a hot piece of ass like Maria.”
“Yeah,” Marcus confirmed darkly, “Just having a little chat.”
More and more boys were flooding into the locker room now and it seemed to be making Troy nervous. He moved towards the exit, fleeing the scene of his crime like a coward. He shoved past Marcus, catching his shoulder and knocking him back. He couldn’t get by fast enough and Marcus reached out to snatch Troy’s bicep with an iron grip.
“You ever lay hands on me again,” Marcus said with a quiet, steely voice so no one else could hear, “and I’ll tell Brandy and your whole crew about what kind of fag you are and how you begged me to suck your dick.”
Troy’s face was a mix of rage and disgust. Marcus let him go when he shrugged off his grip and stormed out of the room. Once he was sure Troy was gone and he was safe Marcus let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. He turned back to his locker and started putting on his clothes as his hands started to shake. He had to sit down to put his shoes on but couldn’t tie his laces, hell he could hardly manage to stand back up. Fuck study hall, he needed a smoke break.
…
It was late afternoon when they found him. The sun was inching closer to the horizon and painting the sky with the dramatic hues of sunset. Marcus was laying on the ground on the rooftop watching the sky shift and thinking how this would be infinitely better with a joint.
“I knew we’d find you hiding up here,” Billy’s merry voice rang out following the slam of the roof access door.
“Oh damn,” Marcus dead panned, “I guess I’ll have to find a new private smoking spot.”
“Don’t be so bitchy mate, we’re only lookin’ to cheer ya’ up a bit,” Lex said, plopping himself down next to Marcus with Billy following close behind.
Marcus propped himself up on his elbows so he could look his friends in the face, “Look guys, unless you got weed you can actually fuck off."
“I told ya’ mate, we came to put some pep in that step,” Lex echoed as Billy pulled out a joint he had tucked behind his ear.
Eying the joint, Marcus shrugged and took the drugs offered to him. Lex held out a zippo and soon Marcus was puffing out clouds. The hot smoke burned his lungs, but he held each breath in a little longer than the last. He wanted to get as stoned as possible off this joint and he knew how to intensify that buzz. After a few hits he laid back fully on his back again and resumed watching the sky transform from day to night.
“So what’s got you so down in the dumps?” Billy prodded gently.
“You saw.”
“If Troy’s got you all wound up about liking blokes and birds that’s nothin’ a little prank can’t fix,” Lex said, voice filled with glee like he was already scheming.
“No not that,” Marcus breathed, the weed loosening his tongue already. “That was nothing...but that was a reminder of the past.”
“You don’t have to-” Billy started.
“Thought you said you were a virgin ‘fore Maria,” Lex interjected.
“I don’t typically like to count my experiences with sexual assault in my offical body count,” Marcus said with the same dead pan. “It was just… a lot going on... all the time living in Sunset.”
He could almost feel himself slipping back in time, like the memories were engulfing his whole reality. The one thing good thing Marcus could say about Chester was that he never tried to rape him. Beat the shit out of him and carve up his skin, sure thing that happened all the time. At least he never laid hands on him like that. Apparently being a human and not a 4 legged animal disqualified him as a sexual interest to Chester. At least he could be thankful for that one small mercy.
Mercy wasn’t something that was bountiful in Sunset boys home. When Marcus was first sent to the home, right after his parents were killed, he had a roommate named Javier. He thought at first things might be alright. Javier was about his age and he spoke Spanish too. They could come back from the sweat shop to their shabby little room and be friendly with each other. Hold a little comfort together, speaking Spanish with each other and hearing the familiar syllables of their homelands. Then a few weeks turned into months and later years and that fantasy faded quickly. It was no match for the grim reality of his shitty life.
One of the guards started to take an interest in Javier. The guard would come into their room at night and do things with Javier in his bed. He never wanted to talk in the mornings after those nights, but those long nights for Javier only lasted a short while. A few weeks before his 10th birthday Javier got adopted and Marcus was left all alone in their shared room. And that guard who used to come see Javier kept coming to the room at night except now time he climbed into Marcus’ bed. Marcus knew why Javier never wanted to talk in those mornings after.
Single occupancy rooms never stayed solo for long at Sunset. Not long after the night time visits started Chester came to the boys home and was placed in Marcus’ room. After Chester moved in there were some nights he was so battered, bruised, and tried he didn’t even have the energy to cry. That was the time when Marcus knew he had to find a way out. He couldn’t wait until he was 18, he had to escape sooner than that or his body would give up and die.
The intensity of that pain didn’t burn so bright after a few years. He was getting older, his body started to fill out and mature with puberty. The guard started to loose interest and decided Marcus wasn’t his favorite anymore. The night time visits got less and less frequent until they stopped all together. Unfortunately while he was losing old interest he was gaining new admirers. A few of the older boys, 16 and 17 year olds close to aging out of the home, started circling in the showers and bathrooms. They weren’t like a guard though, they didn’t have a baton or gun and he had good odds in a one on one fight. Most of the time he could walk away from an encounter with just a black eye or split lip, but sometimes the boys got smart and came at him in groups. Those were the nights he dragged his ass back to his room and prayed to a god he didn’t believe in to just let him die already. His one reprieve during that time was that the boys didn’t dare come for him in his room. Chester was scary enough to provide that protection.
After Marcus escaped Sunset living homeless was rough, but joyous in its freedom. For the first time in as long as he could remember he didn’t have to watch himself every time he took a piss or sleep with one eye open. Scratch that, he did have to sleep with one eye open, but he was on alert for the Pigs rather than other animals.
Living homeless wasn’t without its own horrors. There were times when his stomach ached with hunger so fiercely it took everything he had not to double over in pain. He tried everything, he really did. Begging on sidewalks, foraging through trash, even stealing all the free samples at the grocery store, but it was never enough food to keep him fed.
He didn’t know what he was doing the first time. He tried hanging out by a truck stop off the highway, hoping to catch the eye of a trucker with cash on hand. Marcus had left his shirt behind and wore only his jeans and unzipped hoodie, like showing off his hunger pained torso would get him the attention he wanted. Attention he did in fact get, but it was hardly anything he wanted . Still, he found prostitution was making the best of a bad situation. At least this time he could say no, turn down the job if he didn’t want to do something. After a lifetime of abuse, Marcus found he didn’t want to do most of the favors he was propositioned for. He made it a point to save slinking around truck stops and street corners to only the most intense hunger pains.
“Then Saya and Master Lin found me, so now I’m here with Troy trying to start shit in the showers like I’m fucking 13 again,” Marcus finished with a huff of smoke.
The 3 boys had already lit and finished 2 more joints while Marcus was talking. He had been able to keep it together while he was talking, the nonstop stream of consciousness holding back the emotional tidal wave. Now his fingers shook as he brought the filter to his lips and tears were threatening to start spilling.
“Now I see why you were going to kill yourself before Saya brought you back,” Billy said.
“Thanks for the sympathy,” Marcus replied sarcastically. The first tear trickled down his cheek and just like that the flood gates opened.
“I say we kill all those blood bastards,” Lex said in signature his angry, self righteous tone. “Every child molesting twat and predator in that boys home. What’s the point of going to a school for assassins if you can’t kill some bastards from your past?”
Marcus let out a small laugh. It was an ugly little laugh, polluted with tears and an almost-sob caught in his throat.
“In case you forgot Lex, they’re already dead. Chester beat us to it. That’s how I got here, remember?”
“Too bad you didn’t get to kill them yourself,” Billy remarked.
“No,” Marcus said through a sniffle. “I don’t regret leaving like I did. Most of the kids in that place were victims like me. They didn’t deserve what happened to them.”
Billy scooted closer to Marcus, placing a comforting hand on his friend’s thigh, “You didn’t deserve what happened to you either.”
“And if that wanker Troy ever tries to come near you again, we’ll make sure he gets what he deserves,” Lex promises.
“He shouldn’t be a problem,” Marcus could feel himself starting to calm down, “I told him I’d tell the whole Dixie Mob if he ever tried anything again. The only thing those hicks hate more than a fag like me is a fag in their own ranks. If he’s got an ounce of self preservation instinct he’ll stay away.”
He laid back on the concret again. It was warm with the heat of the day when he came up here, but now in the dwindling sunlight it was rapidly cooling. Marcus felt exhausted, emotionally spent and hollowed out.
“Guys, can we just not talk about this anymore?”
“Sure thing,” Billy replied.
“ ‘Course mate,” Lex said.
Neither spoke, but both boys shifted their positions to lay down next to Marcus. The three of them laid there in a heavy, but comfortable silence watching the last of the day light slip away. By the time the stars had begun to emerge the hollow feeling was starting to turn to peace. It was in no small part due to his two friends. Lex had grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers together and rubbing circles on the back of his hand with his thumb. Billy, the one in the group always more comfortable with physical affection, had moved to rest his head on Marcus’s chest. Cheek pressed into his uniform shirt and one arm wrapping around his torso, Marcus felt grounded- safe in the pressing body heat surrounding him. He could stay here forever.