Archive of Our Own

"RING RING RING"

"BAM"

Those are the sounds that Peter Parker-Stark wakes up to every morning. Well, that is if you were lucky enough to get sleep at all. Between pranks and missions, quiet time is scarce.

"I don't want to go to school." Peter moans.

"Peter you have to wake up sugar," Harley tells me.

"Ten more minutes" I mumble into my pillow.

"That's what you said yesterday and you were late" Harley kissed my forehead and kicked me out of bed. I landed crouched on the floor on instinct.

"Not cool babe"

"Get ready, I'll have Steve make you pancakes"

"Nevermind! Bye Babe!" I ran up to take a shower. I strip down and hop in the shower, accidentally setting it far too hot for my oversensitive senses. "Shittake mushrooms"

Steve's pancakes were the best but if anyone ever asked, Natasha's were, I don't want to lose an eye. We had even had a bake-off a few weeks ago, back when the Guardians were visiting. Mr. Drax and Rocket kind of blew up the intern kitchens. It's not totally their fault, they were raised on space rations.

I walk get dressed and take the elevator down to the kitchen level.

"Hey Junior" Steve called. GODDD I HATED THAT NAME. But once one intern called me that nobody calls me anything else. "You're about to be late, here" he handed me four rolled-up blueberry pancakes and a special lunch because the food at school wasn't enough. He knows how fast someone's metabolism could work, and Dad had a nutritionist work with me about calorie consumption and stuff.

"Don't forget that Reindeer Games, Goldilocks, and Big Bird will be here later tonight for movie night." Sam threw some of his eggs at Bucky and ran away when he caught them with his metal arm.

"Uncle Loki is coming?" I ask confused.

"Yeah, apparently rehab for world domination isn't as long as we thought" Bruce went back to his coffee.

"Now go, I can't be the fun aunt if you're grounded." Nat gave me a quick hug.

"Bye, everyone."

I go to school and get through the first few periods of the day fine.

"Hey Penis, ready for everyone to know your secret. Everyone's gonna know now that Penis is a lier."

He pushed me into the lockers and punched my stomach. I really didn't hurt but I grimaced for the sake of dramatic effect. I have to go to decathlon practice then lunch.

I take the seat next to MJ and Ned. Ned was sitting next to Betty and they were making out. Could they like not do that here?

Mr. Harrington walked in with a grin on his face.

"Everyone please put down your food for a second and give me a drumroll....because we won the competition last year, we are going on a field trip to...Stark Tower" The class erupted into cheer while I sunk into my seat. "We will go tomorrow, please have your slips. Mr. Parker, may I talk to you in my office.

I wipe my mouth with a napkin. Ned and MJ share a glance. They're probably betting on how this conversation will play out "Yes, Mr. Harrington?"

"I know that you want to be cool, but this field trip is important and we can't have you tarnish the reputation of this school so fess up."

I shook my eyebrow, "What?"

"About the internship"

"Sir I can as-"

"No No No" he shook his finger at me. "This is where you obey. If you say that you have an internship while on this field trip I will make sure you are expelled from this school. Got it?"

There is nothing I can do to convince him "Yes sir."

"Go back to lunch," he tells me. On my way out I could hear him mumble "why did I become a teacher?"

I trudge my way through the rest of my classes and I seriously dread movie night. Loki and Clint will be there. Oh god, they're all going to embarrass me soooooo much.

I climb in the window from patrol. Only a few muggings tonight, nothing interesting. I smell the best thing ever. PIZZA!!!

I grab a few slices and go to sit down next to Harley. Everyone talks about their day, they ask me about mine. I'm not telling them the truth, of course, I have three assassins in my family that Flash wouldn't last a minute against.

"So, Pyotr" Nat starts with a glint in her eye. "When were you going to tell us?" she held up the permission slip. Damn it. I should have hidden it better, but you really can't hide anything from Nat.

"Permission slip. Where?" Dad asks me, getting a pen to fill the slip out.

"Umm, here" the room was silent for a few seconds before everyone erupted in laughter, everyone except me that is.

"Dude that would only happen to you" Sam wraps his arm around Bucky who smacks it off. Sam sticks his tongue out. I swear. How are these Earth's mightiest heroes?

"Oh, then I'm signing this." Dad hands me the slip and we go to watch the movie.

I walked up with Harley to our room.

"It won't be that bad. I'm usually a tour guide, I can make sure that they don't interfere too much." He offered.

"No Har, I'm afraid it can't be avoided. Night"

"Night"

Time to get some sleep because tomorrow will be a nightmare.

I can't believe that my natural alarm clock (Harley) decided to wake up late and now I'm getting to school at the last minute. I walked up to the bus and found a glaring Mr. Harrington. I gave him my form that Dad, unfortunately, filled out.

"Hey, Penis!" Flash threw his arms over my shoulders. "I thought you were going to chicken out like the lying loser you are" he kicked my shin and walked back to his goons.

I went to sit down next to Ned.

"Dude why do you still let him bully you like that?" he asks me.

"I just don't want to make anything worse, there are only three months left of school, it's not the end of the world," I tell him and look over to see MJ smirking while Betty talks about all her problems. How these two are such goods friends is a complete mystery to me. We get to Stark Tower in record time and Ned is bouncing off the walls.

"I'm so excited. Do you think we'll get to meet the Bruce Banner or Ant-Man or even Tony Stark" he asks me.

"Dude, you've been there before. You've met them all before" I say frustrated.

"But still" I don't get him.

Mr. Harrington gives me a look as we get off the bus. "Remember what we talked about Peter."

"I will don't worry."

We walk past the reception desk. I don't come in this way that often and she's definitely surprised to see me here. She is getting out the box of level one badges and I clearly haven't thought this through well enough.

"Hey Peter"

"Hey Carrie," I tell her and Mr. Harrington gives me that look again.

"Hey Midtown. I'm your tour guide Caroline, but call me Carrie. I use she/her/hers pronouns. Here are your badges and please don't lose them. We have a strict no-reprint policy to help with our healthy environment initiatives. First umm Betty Brant come to take your pass" she goes through the whole class list except for me, Ned, and MJ.

"Dude, why didn't those three get badges" Flash pointed over to us with a smug grin on his face.

Carrie looks to me surprised. "Oh yeah. You guys brought your own right. Happy would kill you if you didn't"

"Yeah we do Carrie," Ned tells her and we put our lanyards on.

"Carrie?" Betty asks "What do the different colors mean?"

"They say what level of security you are. For instance, white means visitors, press, and lower-level interns. Yellow is for lawyers, janitors, and high-level interns. Green is for our scientists and security staff. Black is for SHIELD agents and Avengers who only live here part-time like the Asgardians. Blue is for Avengers who live here full time like Captain America and Scarlet Witch. Gold is reserved for five people, Mrs. Potts, Mr. Stark, the Black Widow, and two people in Mr. Stark's inner circle." I blush a little bit at that. That's me and my boyfriend, but only yellow and up to know that. "Got it?"

"Why does the Black Widow have gold clearance?" Lori asks.

Carrie looks at her for a few seconds before looking around to make sure nobody's watching. There have been a few tales of people getting pranked or convinced they were invisible. "Because Mr. Stark is scared of her. Let's go through the scanners," she says to drop the subject.

Flash pushes to the front of everyone to go first.

"Eugene Thompson. Level White. Threat Low to None" Everyone jumps when they hear FRIDAY.

Carrie sees the shock on their faces and takes over. "Don't worry, that's just FRIDAY, Mr. Stark's personal AI."

"Michelle Jones. Level Yellow. Threat Minimal depending on mood. Would you like for me to alert Mrs. Boss of your arrival?"

"No thanks Fri"

"Ned Leeds. Level Green. Threat Low to None. Would you like for me to alert Dr. Green of your arrival?"

"No thanks, I'll see him soon."

"Peter Parker 'The Junior', Level Gold, Threat High. Would you like to alert Mr. Stark of your arrivals?" This is why I always use the window.

"No, I'm sure he already knows."

Mr. Harrington and the entire class looked at me. Thankfully Carrie saw my uneasiness and took control.

"C'mon everyone, let's head up to the museum."

Carrie organizes all 25 of us onto the elevator. A few ask her questions that would be answered if they were only more patient. I could feel someone, most likely Flash, repeatedly kicking my shin. One look from MJ and it stopped. Finally, the elevator stopped on the 10th floor.

Carrie tries to semi-organize the group but ends up just letting the class roam. I stop at the work in progress of Auntie Carol's exhibit.

Captain Marvel aka Carol Danvers was born on April 24, 1963. As the military did not allow females to fly in combat missions, Captain Danvers along with the founder of S.W.O.R.D, Maria Rambou, tested experimental technology for the Air Force.

Please be patient while we finish this research.

A tingle in Peter's elbow makes him swing around, nearly punching Ned. " Woah. Dude, are you seriously scared of spiders?" Ned asks me.

I give him an extremely confused look as he guides me over to my own exhibit.

I TOLD DAD THAT I WAS SCARED OF SPIDERS IN CONFIDENCE!

"You try getting bitten by a radioactive one and see how you would feel about seeing them," I reply.

"That's fair" he agrees. I can hear a rumbling in the ceiling. Oh no.

"UNCLE CLINT GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE"

I shout and he crashes through the ceiling. The shock on everyone's faces is probably more of me addressing him like that than him falling into the room.

"Hey everyone," he says standing up and waving awkwardly.

"MR PARKER HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS AN AVENGER IN SUCH A WAY!" Mr. Harrington shrieked at me and it was so loud that I had to cover my ears. I flinch and Clint decides to play over the protective relative.

"Oh, it's no trouble man. Pete and me here are good friends. Now I have to go beat up my sister's boyfriend so a quick Q&A."

Betty got out her notepad. "How does it feel to be with the Avengers and what is the reason you don't live here full time?"

And the question was asked and it was time to lie perfectly. "I need my privacy, I'm a spy. As for your other question, I like everyone here except for maybe birdie and greased lightning."

"Sam and Loki" I clarify.

"Next question"

"So Barton, how do you know Parker since ya know, Stark doesn't hire high schoolers?" Flash asks smugly.

"Oh, dude is more like an Avengers intern. Makes a bunch of our stuff. G.T.G. Pete, I have to go make sure Steve and Nat aren't doing the dirty on the gym mats." And he disappeared back into the vents.

Betty looked at me and her eyes were so much wider than I thought was possible "THAT WAS HAWKEYE!"

Everyone surrounds me, with more strange questions coming my way each second.

Carrie walks over. "Ok everyone let's head up to the labs. Mr. Harrington since this is not a usual tour, we need to change our schedule."

"Of-of course Caroline" he stuttered. Wow. I never thought a teacher could be brought down by the sight of an Avenger. Boy, when I go public he's so gonna regret those bad grades he gave me.

We all file into the lift but before I can step in Flash stops me.

"Lier. What did you pay him to make him say he knew you? Oh but wait. You're a poor orphan so NOPE. You've been lying for years and I'm gonna fricken prove it." He sees Carrie handling some other quarrell and uses the opportunity to kick my nuts. Ok, that actually did really hurt. I could see Mr. Harrington's eyes on me and he did NOTHING.

Once again we return into the elevating metal box of Hell

Thanks a lot, Legolas.

My class finally walked out of the lift. Clint wasn't too bad, maybe I could salvage this trip. No...probably not.

The scurrying of the normally busy labs was almost refreshing from the never-ending embarrassing life I've been living the past hour.

"Hey Junior, can you help me over here," Hannah called me over to her station. I looked to Mr. Harrington. He silently nodded and mumbled something about how much paperwork was going to have to be filled out after this if one of his students insulted another Avenger.

I walk over. Oh, this is the formula that Scott needs some more of. He wants to make orange slices available to him when he's being an ant. They might have to use one of Hank Pym's formulas, but whatever. Scott is like a five-year-old, his child is more mature.

I mumble something to her about how the flavor might be affected if we use that particular combination. We could change the flavor slightly if need be.

I can see Ned being extremely over-excited that he's here with Bruce. They've met before. We've worked in the labs together before "Dude, you work with him" MJ whispers.

"Doesn't make it any less exciting. Still can't believe that he's Peter's uncle." Ned says back. MJ shakes her head, she knows it's a lost cause.

I finish the formula and look it over. Everything looks correct. I hand her back the tablet so she can send it over to my friends in data collection.

Uncle Bruce walks in, I'm not entirely sure if he knew that my class was coming but nothing here ever happens as planned.

Bruce clears his throat, he's still not comfortable with public speaking. "Everyone my name is Bruce Banner. Umm, I don't really know how to do these things so I'll answer some questions then maybe you could try out some coding."

Almost everybody in the class raises their hands.

"Not about the other guy" he clarifies. All except one of the hands go down. A sag on his shoulders shows his disappointment, but sadly no surprise. "Yes Ned"

Ned has this look of shock. Like, OMG Bruce Banner knows my name, type of face.

"In your paper on quantum theory, why is it one can do something based on one's reaction to another?"

"Changing the past doesn't change the future per se, but it can have possibilities such as alternate timelines." Bruce answers. I bet he was surprised that there was one question that wasn't about the Hulk. "Anyone else?"

"Do you actually know Parker because c'mon everyone, we all know that Penis is faking," Flash says to try and fix what just happened?

I look and see the Hulk starting to come out. This is exactly why I haven't told anybody about this. "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HIM?!"

"Nothing Sir, nothing at all" Flash's face is legit pale right now, I might've asked Fri to take a photo is I didn't have to make sure that the Hulk didn't come out. Hulk growls at him and lets Bruce take control. Yeah, never salvaging this field trip.

"FRIDAY, please turn off Not So Little Green Bean Protocol and get Blondie Hammer down here."

"Of course Peter"

Mr. Harrington looked like he was about to faint. I should ask MJ later if she was able to sketch this in time. "Mr. Thompson, that is quite enough from you. I am so sorry Doctor Banner, you know teenagers or why would you or" he rambles. "Carrie"

"Oh yes, everyone please get back into the elevator. As you all know, this is not a normal visit due to your classmates' statuses in Stark Industries, so the Avengers have invited all of you to join them in the gym for some self-defense training."

I see everyone look straight at me. Did they not get the plural in 'classmates'? I look away to Bruce, he's still trying to calm down but Thor should be here soon.

We all say goodbye to Bruce and get into the elevator. I used to like elevators. The cables and structure are so complex. Now, I hate them. Never using them again.

Carrie tried her key card, again and again, she didn't want to ask Peter to do this. "Peter, it won't let me into the gym, scan the card, please." Again I have all eyes on me. I granted authorization and the elevator traveled up. The scene we walked in on was....strange to say the least. Meh, I'd seen weirder when it came to the 40s team.

"NO NO NO!" Bucky yelled. Natasha was pulling him down from the rope with his hair while Steve looked from afar.

"GET DOWN BARNES!" Natasha yelled up to him.

Steve used his super hearing and looked over to see us standing near the door. "Will you two stop acting like a pair of adolescents, we have guests." he gestures to us.

"Oh hey, Peter," Bucky says and makes a rock and roll symbol with his hands.

I do our handshake. "Привет Старый Паук," I say to Natasha and she scowls. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person that can call her old and still live. Her scowl turns into a smile as she blows an air kiss my way.

Now if everyone had been surprised at the rest of this, the Black Widow blowing air kisses was never on their radar.

"Hello everyone, my name is Steve Rogers and you're here today to learn some self-defense skills. I have my friends Natasha and Bucky here to help." He stepped into the ring "Nat" Steve put one of his hands out and Natasha pulled herself into it. She jumps up and uses her foot to shove him over and pin him on the floor.

"Sorry, Babe. Girls rule." Natasha helps him up. As he leaves the ring, she smirks at me. Oh no. What is she planning? "Anybody want to help me with another defense move?"

And that was it. Almost everyone raises their hands, not knowing how bad of an idea that was. Flash pushes his way through the front and I don't have any doubt that Natasha will kick his ass. He winks at her.....bad idea. She pushes him to the ground and he yelps.

Steve steps forward to intervene, but he also knows her and that you should never mess with her after a fight.

"Peter" she calls to me. "давайте покажем этим проигравшим бой" A real fight, yeah I'm going to have to fake lose. I also know that everyone is staring daggers at me again because I apparently speak Russian. It's not like they don't know that I pay no attention in class.

I step into the ring. "давай"

I put up my hand and she grabs my shoulder. I roll forward, taking her ankle with me. She looks me in the eye, it looks weird if I would win against her. I finally let her pin me down.

"All those lessons have been paying off Паук"

"Дa"

Bucky claps me on my shoulder. I flinch slightly but let's be honest, he's way too loud to be a super-assassin. "Everyone get in a pair and practice" he shouts. I go over to Ned, yeah nobody'll mind if we just talk and hopefully Flash won't go rearing his ugly head after that fight with Natasha. Yay, it's lunchtime then we'll have a short panel where everyone is going to embarrass the living spider out of me.

"Ca-Captain Rogers, they need to go for lunch." Carrie stutters out, I guess that she hasn't met him before or she has a crush on him. Well, I wouldn't blame her either way.

"Of course Carrie, see you all at the meeting" He nods his goodbye to me. I hope that I can see the three of them again before I leave since I'm going to hang out with Ned to discuss this disaster of a field trip.

"Прощай" I say to Natasha and Bucky, boy am I glad that they taught me Russian to use during paintball battles.

And now we're all in the metal box of burning eyes again.

Lunch, it can't be that bad. Can it? Well hopefully not since Flash will be too excited about the different food options to notice me eating my special food. I look into my bag to get it...dang it. Did I lose it? Did someone take it?

"Hey man, you forgot this" I know that voice anywhere. I look up and see who else but Sam Wilson. "Tony said that we had to bring it down since you get cranky when you don't have your juice."

Thanks Sam.

"Thanks," I say and take the bag. Everyone else is storming us so I try to step back.

My classmates are throwing questions at them left and right. Would they be like that if they knew who I really was?

"Stop speaking all at once or I will make it  impossible for you too." Loki threatens as he appears out of mist. Wanda runs up behind him. What are they up to?

"He's joking," Wanda says nervously. Oh sure, kidding, no way. They get asked a few more questions, Loki threatens a few more people, and I finish up my food. I'm so glad that they were so focused on meeting a god that I just got to sit in peace with Ned and MJ

"We have to go cousin, see you later" Wanda hugged me. She was the second-best hugger on the Avengers, aside from Harley that is. And not just hugging...

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot the cutest blonde-haired boy ever. I smile the first real smile I've had since coming here, no doubt that he'll be at the official meet and greet. He smiles back at me. Why do I still get butterflies when he does that?

I must have been staring too long because I sense the doors on the lift about to close so I shoot through them right before they close. I chuckle nervously, everyone had probably been coming in and saw me staring at a door.

And we're off again

We all walk into the conference room. I might not have ever been in here but then I see the stain on the ceiling, I'm pretty sure that we had a paintball war in here. I take my seat next to MJ, who has her notebook out. Everyone is here, Clint, Loki, Wanda, Thor, Dad, Bruce, Natasha, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Harley. Vision and Rhodey must be out on a mission, they would've ended this madness by now.

"Hello everyone, my name is Tony Stark, but of course you already know that. We are the Avengers and we're here to answer some of your questions. Please refrain from flash photography because Cap always sees stars and stripes when that happens." Wow, that was cheesy, "ok, you" he points to Betty.

"This first question is for Miss Maximoff and Miss Romanoff. Umm....how does it feel to be a woman on a mostly male team?"

"It's fine, they know that I can kill them in my sleep so they never try to mess around with me." Natasha answers.

"And they get a knife in the shoulder when they do" Wanda adds. True, never wake up a sleeping Russian with glitter. Sam and Scott would know.

Betty raises her hand again. "What percent of your profits go into the Relief Fund?"

"Oh, only around 4%, not a lot every month but that plus donations can make a huge difference." Dad answers. True, I had to help Mom sort out all that stuff. It was a real mess after we had to beat Thanos, but at least everything is back to normal now. "Who else?"