Chapter Text
It’s the way he looked at him as he kissed him on the blanket under the stars that morning, January 26th, 2010.
It was four twenty seven am.
That night was spent in the gentle throes of passion and love. Usually, their fire was fevered, as if they were the last two people on earth, all biting, aggression and raging hunger, but that night, they knew perhaps this was the last one they’d ever have.
They lay there on their backs, spent, covered in sweat, breathing hard as they recovered. Blue eyes flicked over to green before Mello turned on his side fully to gaze at his lover head-on. “Don’t worry, Matty,” he promised, looking his lover in the eye as he lifted his hand to his lips and kissed it, too. “We’ll be back here tonight.”
And Matt believed him. He believed his pretty lies, that smile curving his lips. When had Mello ever been wrong?
“Of course,” he snorted. “Duh.” After a long moment, he added something. “And… And we should run away. Find a place where Wammy’s could never find us. And then we get a dog.”
“And then we get a dog.”
Mello wanted to believe it. Genuinely, he did.
He knew the truth.
Boys like them didn’t get happy endings.
But just for that moment, they could pretend that the stars, the night, their lives were theirs, that a happy ending belonged to them. And as they kissed under their stars, on a fault line late at night, they had never felt so alive.
When the bullets hit Mail Jeevas, when his game ended and he collapsed to the ground, when the blood soaked through his vest and the cigarette fell out of his mouth, the last word on his lips was, “Mihael.” Where was Mello? He wanted to die with Mello. He promised him. He promised that they would be back in their apartment that night. They were supposed to live a life away from Kira, to run away together.
Moments flashed before his eyes, in his mind.
Mello, do you remember our first kiss? Do you remember that night by the fire? I do. And do you remember the first time you took me? Do you remember the time in my car by the water, when you told me you loved me for the first time? Do you remember all the city lights? You probably didn’t realize, but the way they sparkled in your eyes, I would have given my life to see that smile stay on your face. It’s you, Mello. It’s always, always been you.
I love you.
When Mihael Keehl died two hours later, the last word on his lips was “Mail.” Matt. I never thought you’d be killed. Forgive me…
When he felt the stabbing pain in his chest, he knew he had made a mistake. He knew that Takada bitch had written his name, that he had lost, that all he had ever been was a tool for Near to use to solve the puzzle. But in the moment, he didn’t - couldn’t - care. Because he knew that he was the reason the only person he had ever really cared about, the only person who ever gave half a damn about him was dead, was because of him, because of the plan that he had dragged them into, because he couldn’t just let his feud with Near go long enough to think about the effect he had on the only person he gave a shit about.
Matt… but I promised you…
Mello didn’t live long enough to keep his promise to Matt.
Neither did Matt.