Work Text:
Are you mad?
Hey, I know
You must’ve been confused because you don’t know.
Don’t cry, don’t waste your tears on me. I don’t deserve it. It’s pathetic to do such a thing for me.
Or are you mad at yourself? Because you failed again? I told you to not make a promise, even if it was for yourself.
It hurts, It hurts, It hurts
Stop hurting yourself you say. But you can’t do anything and it’s fine. I’m fine that way.
Stop it don’t do it.
Don’t cry.
I told you it’s fine, you know it’s a lie but believe in it, please?
I will believe in it too.
I have to believe. Otherwise our promise will be broken.
So trust me.
I need you to.
For our promise.
It’s better that way, to not waste anything on me.
To not hurt you. To end my misery.
To let go of our future.
It’s better to stay ignorant, to be sad and angry with me without a reason.
And it’s better for me to not know.
So I can only ask you to stop caring, I know it’s painful. But it’s for our promise.
I promised not to hurt you. And I want to keep that promise.
So stop caring, stop crying, stop being angry with yourself.
It’s not fair for me.
You’ll know why I’m like this. Who made me this way.
And it will hurt you more if you don’t fulfill my promise.
So please.
Hate me, despise me before you know.
I deserve it, don’t feel sorry for me for doing this to myself.
I deserve it because it will hurt you too.
I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.
For taking away your future.
For ending you.
I’m sorry for hurting you, for not telling you.
It’s better to not know. You wished for me to tell you and I do too.
But it’s better that way.
I told you to trust me didn’t I?
So trust me for the last moment.
Because I trust you too.