Work Text:
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
It was ridiculous, really.
This was just like any other day after school at the skatepark, and yet, a novel rush of something blooming swelled within his chest, forcing the air right out of his lungs.
“Something on your mind?”
Langa held up his hand for another classic handshake. Reki blinked, noticing that he had been staring for who knows how long. Langa only tilted his head at him, a glint of innocent oblivion flickering in his eyes.
You. I’m thinking about you.
Reki’s blood coursed up his neck to the tips of his ears, burning his entire face. And burning into his brain was one ridiculous notion.
To be close to you.
“Ah, sorry! It’s nothing,” Reki managed. He met his palms with Langa’s and completed it with a fist bump and an infinity symbol. The corners of his lips tugged into a smile at the mere contact he made with Langa.
His chest began to burn too.
Reki cleared his throat, a light-hearted smile surfacing. ”Your skateboard’s been okay? It doesn’t look like it needs of any repairs or anything.”
“No. Not lately at least. Since you last repaired it, it’s been a lot better at handling my higher jumps. You’ve done a really good job with it,” Langa said plainly.
Reki, despite all attempts of trying to ignore it, felt the pang in his chest again. He cursed to himself mentally by just how casual and smoothly Langa had replied, just while Reki felt himself melting.
“S-sure,” he added lamely.
Langa’s lips parted into a wondrous smile, golden starlight in his blue eyes gleaming with everything Reki longed to bask himself in. Gazing at him, Reki envisioned a flock of doves, skyrocketing up into a yellowing sky.
Reki wondered just how high he could fly too, as his heart soared at the view of Langa.
Langa peered down at his phone. “I have to run an errand for my mom, but I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”
“Yup! See you tomorrow,” he forced a smile, giving him a wave.
Langa turned back to Reki. “Do you want me to walk you home?”
“Ah, no, that’s okay. I’ll be staying here for a bit.”
He hesitated before he gave Reki a small nod before departing from the park on his skateboard. Reki gazed at the sight of sky blue gliding away from him.
Reki felt it in every fiber of his body. He felt it in the ache between his ribs, in the twists and turns of his stomach. But more so, he felt it against his eyelids, and how much it stung as hot tears pricked his eyes.
There was a word to this sensation, this experience, but Reki couldn’t label it.
Not that he couldn’t. He refused to. Otherwise, admitting it to himself would make it more real.
And the sensations he was feeling would sting even more painfully than it already had.
Especially because Reki couldn’t bring himself close to him.
---
He needed to clear his mind, and the only way to do that was to keep his hands busy. The heat from the sun dissipated as the draft from his garage cooled his cheeks. He stuck out his tongue as he tightened the screws of another skateboard model he had designed.
A wide smile spread from ear to ear. Eyes glowing with pride, a spark of electricity elicited within his chest at his accomplishment. Reki needed to show this off. He wondered what Langa would think of it—
The blooming excitement immediately disintegrated, replaced with a heaviness that felt like someone had dropped an anvil on his chest.
Reki gulped, squeezing his eyes shut. It was happening again, his stupid thoughts swirling around his mind, stubbornly, intrusively, and he couldn’t take this. Everything Reki did to distract himself from it didn’t work.
Because everything he did, he wanted Langa to be there, with him. He wanted him close to him.
It was stupid. He wasn’t a child, so he shouldn’t be asking for so much attention from his friend. And what was worse was that darker thoughts festered in his mind, pestered him to believe that he deserved none of Langa’s attention.
And what hurt the most was that he was beginning to see the truth in those thoughts. Langa was a dream come true. He was someone that Reki had admired from the start, but seeing him more often only terrified him.
Because now, admiration wasn’t strong enough of a word.
Reki huffed, resting his new skateboard onto the work desk. He placed it down with more force than he anticipated, causing his screwdriver to roll off the ledge. Before he could reach to catch it, he lost balance, landing on his back.
He covered his face, feeling the burning ceiling lights with the back of his hands, then feeling a light tap on his hair. He leaned his head up to see the nose of his skateboard. It must have rolled over to him after he had fallen.
This had to be a sign.
Ignoring the twisting of his stomach, Reki came to a final decision.
He grabbed his skateboard.
---
Why do stars fall down from the sky every time you walk by?
The night breeze stung. Usually skateboarding at this speed would elicit a marvelous adrenaline rush. But instead, only anxiety consumed him as he drew closer and closer to his destination.
It isn’t like Reki to feel this way. He was braver than this. He could tolerate something as measly as this and pull through. Whatever thought was encircling in his mind, he would usually overcome it.
But this was so much harder.
This wasn’t like anything he had experienced in the past. This wasn’t just some failed exam he took or some fallout he had with his sisters.
This was entirely different. And it was horrifyingly new.
“Reki!”
It wasn’t the call of his name that shocked him; it was the familiarity of that voice.
A streak of snow blue dashed through the periphery of his vision, and Reki halted his skateboard to turn and meet eyes with Langa.
“Langa, what are you doing riding around here?” He leaned against a lamp pole, in case he would somehow lose balance again. He was feeling quite clumsy tonight, and it was strikingly embarrassing.
A stroke of pink lifted in Langa’s cheeks. “I was looking up at the sky, and I thought about how we were looking up at the same moon.”
Reki snickered, now mirroring the brightness of the stars in the sky. “What? Is your Japanese still a little rusty?”
Langa scratched his cheek. “Ah, sorry. I guess that was a little weird.” The silence was jarring between them until he finally broke through it. “What are you doing around here?”
“Oh, me?” Reki rested his hand behind the nape of his neck. “I was actually just about to head home.”
He bit his tongue. No, that wasn’t the right answer. If he had the courage, he would have told Langa everything, but of course he would chicken out.
“But your house is the other way,” Langa pointed out.
“O-oh! Is it?” Reki chuckled nervously. “Ah, I must be distracted again tonight. I’ll head back home then-“
Before Reki could hop back on his board, a warm hand wrapped around his wrist.
“Wait. I wanted to see you. That’s why I’m here.”
He had a feeling that was what it was. Whatever Reki had to confront tonight, he wasn’t ready, and he was beginning to regret coming out here in the first place.
Despite that, he decided to give his friend his full attention. Looking into Langa’s eyes made him realize that being here was hard for him too, maybe even harder. He knew Langa wasn’t the type to open up about his feelings.
And before anything, he was Reki’s friend first.
The pounding of his rib cage subsided. “Okay, I’m all ears. What’s up?”
“I just don’t want the same thing to happen again.”
Reki knitted his brows. “What do you mean?”
“You’re ignoring me. I think I did something wrong again. Did I?”
“I... I’m not ignoring you,” he spoke slowly.
“Then what is it?” Langa drew closer, and yet again, the tips of Reki’s ears burned.
“It’s nothing, Langa-“
“No, it’s not nothing, Reki. I don’t want to lose you again. The last time you left, it was...” Langa’s words trailed off before he gripped onto his shirt. “You’re more distant than usual. And you’re smiling less. I don’t know why that is, but it... hurts .”
And just like that, new wounds had opened within his chest, and Reki hadn’t even known that was possible. Because right then and there, the golden starlight in Langa’s blue eyes was absent. Only then there were swirls of agony that Reki had no idea he had directly caused.
“I... I’m sorry I hurt you,” Reki put simply. He couldn’t find any other words to express what was running through his mind at the moment. How could he even begin to explain it to Langa when he couldn’t even sort it out himself?
“How could you possibly say something so plainly, like this is nothing to you?” The tone in his voice wasn’t foreign. Reki had known Langa long enough to know how passionate he could be, despite how difficult it was for Langa to be open. But yet, this was different, more terrifying. It was the exact reason why Reki was trying to avoid confrontation.
And the words that would slip from his friend’s lips would make this even harder.
“I thought we promised we’d stick together after the last time. I can’t bear this, Reki. I want to be closer to you, every day, all the time. I really like you.”
The last sentence hung in the air, ringing in Reki’s ears again and again.
I really like you.
The gentle winds of the night blessed the surface of Reki’s burning skin. He observed the depths of Langa’s eyes, how they pierced through Reki’s chest and right through his heart.
He was being genuine. Every word he had told him was true. Despite his difficulty finding the right words, Langa had found them, and Reki had the honor to bask in every syllable, in all the sincerity that it was.
I want to be close to you.
“M-me too.” Reki’s voice was barely audible now.
He couldn’t decide, at that moment, whether he had felt one of the two things: warmth, like the sun, basking him into its angelic light. Or coolness, like the soft snow, like youth and child-like curiosity; the glowing of falling stars in the canvas of dark blue.
He had decided it was both.
That Langa was the light to his darkness, the stars to his night sky, and everything else that could complete him.
That was why Reki wanted so badly to be close to him. Like the fitting of puzzle pieces, like one half had been finally made whole.
And, like puzzle pieces, Reki intertwined his fingers between Langa’s.
“I want to be close to you, too,” he finally uttered, enough for Langa to hear.
Langa pursed his lips before he let out a hearty laugh.
Reki puffed his cheeks, not letting go of his hand. “What? What’s so funny?”
His eyes pooled with joy. “It’s just... I’ve been waiting for this for the longest time. Skating was never fun without you. I’m just really happy someone like you feels the same way about me. You’re amazing, Reki.”
He blew a raspberry. “I didn’t come here to be gushed over.”
Langa’s laughter did not fade. “Well, you deserve to be gushed over.” He brushed his palm against Reki’s cheek. It felt cool to the touch, probably because his entire face felt like a sauna.
“Do you want to...” Reki began, eyes drifting lower until they landed on Langa’s lips.
“Can I?” His inquiry was gentle and soft, but also eager.
He didn’t need to ask twice. Reki leaned in, shifting his weight at the tips of his toes as he tangled his fingers through Langa’s hair. The heat from the contact of their lips sparked electricity through Reki’s entirety. He felt himself smiling through the kiss, the two sharing warm yet light-hearted breaths. All the weight that had dragged him down, in his chest and at the pit of his stomach, had lifted now. All the fear and self-doubt had vanished.
This was their moment.
He shared this moment, with Langa.
Reki exhaled slowly as their lips parted.
“Was that okay?” Langa asked, awkwardly.
Reki tilted his head, and now it was his turn to erupt with laughter. “You’re such a dork. This was more than okay.”
Langa’s smile lit up the atmosphere. “It isn’t too much to ask to take you home then?”
“It’s not,” Reki shook his head in amusement. Moments like these deserved to go by slower. He tucked his skateboard under his arm, taking his partner’s hand. “Let’s walk back then?”
“Let’s walk back,” Langa repeated in agreement.
It seemed the stars watched from above, shining brighter when witnessing the two halves finally became one.