Chapter Text
The last person you expected to see bathing downstream was your former commander. You hadn’t glimpsed his proud blonde head and broad shoulders since the world, for lack of a better word, ended.
Reckoning came just like the old religions said it would, with famine and pestilence, war and death, fire and brimstone. The walls crumbled, titans annihilated like dinosaurs when the first meteor hit. The next brought with it a plague, one that killed thousands, leaving humanity more sparse than ever before. And the third bolide exploded in the atmosphere and rained fire from the heavens, devastating the landscape, and encouraging mankind to rally in groups to fight for the last hopes of survival.
You were lucky enough to be alive, let alone be reunited with someone so formidable, his sun kissed skin gorgeous and bright in the babbling waters.
You’d been on your own for months now, separated from your fellow cadets as you scattered to escape a raging plague in Stohess. No sounds or sights of another human had crossed into your path in what felt like ages; you were frightened and stunned at the sight of Erwin Smith, naked and bloodied.
He hadn’t sensed your presence it seemed, hadn’t gotten the goosebumps of watchful eyes just around the river bend behind the thick smattering of trees. You held one branch in your hand, arching it down so you could keep your gaze on him as he descended into the waters to rid himself of the fresh blood sinking into the elegant lines of his back.
Your breath was caught in your throat. Should you call out to him? Should you run? You were naked as the day you were born, here to bathe in the same ways he was. You hadn’t been to the water’s edge in nearly a week, and you were dying to soak away the sweat and dishevelment of your time spent surviving alone in a lowly hunter’s cabin about a mile away.
Time felt frozen as you weighed your options. He could be dangerous now. He could have fallen into the throes of the rowdy gang-life that had sprung forth in the last year. But he could also offer safety, maybe he had numbers not far away, or maybe the two of you could work on carving a path into this world together.
You didn’t have the option to decide what you wanted. Erwin’s skin must have finally prickled from the weight of your observation beyond the pines.
“I know you’re there.”
It felt like you’d touched lightning at the sound of his voice, crackles of nostalgia spreading over your nerves. His timbre resonated with the same authority it always had; intense, pervasive. The small statement had you sinking deeper into the water, looking for cover. Your heart physically hurt in your chest, adrenaline pounding.
He could kill you, easily. He was strong, inventive, and discerning. Erwin could probably pin-point your exact location, the realization of which had you feeling like a fool for even trying to hide.
But if he thought you were a threat, he would’ve acted by now.
You caught the sight of him shifting between the limbs and instinctively covered your breasts with your arms, waiting with bated breath for him to appear in the small, watery alcove you’d sheltered yourself in.
Some part of you was both relieved and disenchanted when you realized that he still wore his trousers in the stream. He looked as if he was out of time, some vision of a lingering dream wading back into your life. He was just as handsome, with a few noticeable scars lining his arms, fading pink into the musculature of his stomach. A scar on his cheek captured your attention—it curved into his cheek, like someone had carved against his high cheek-bone. His chest somehow seemed even larger; he looked as if he’d been working nonstop, perhaps building, lifting, making his pectorals rounder, harder. Erwin was hardened, molded by the world’s abjection.
There were no fresh cuts on his body—whatever, whoever's, blood he was washing off clearly didn’t belong to his veins.
You lowered yourself deeper into the water as his eyes widened with recognition.
“You’re alive…” it was a whispered statement of disbelief, his impressive brows raising as he neared you. The impulses you’d gained in this darkened world kicked into gear, had you moving back toward the bank and away from him. Anything alive could be a predator, anything alive could mean danger, even someone you once trusted.
He held his hands up slowly, ceasing his careful march forward in the chilled waters.
“Shhh, it’s okay. I won’t hurt you.”
It was all akin to him stalking a skittish animal, afraid you might flee if he misstepped. And you would. You’d been living like prey avoiding predators for god knows how long, and you’d just witnessed him rinsing off what appeared to be the aftermath of a battle he won. This world was kill or be killed.
He called your name softly, like a father calling to a scared child. It warmed you, had a sense of security draping over your fears. Erwin was familiar, at least, someone you used to go to for advice, someone you’d once promised to give your life to when titans and shifters had been the only threats.
“You’re safe now, I promise.” He was still quite a distance away, yet he outstretched his hand like he was willing to take yours, to lift you up out of the river and offer you asylum.
“I…” you didn’t recognize your voice. When was the last time you’d spoken out loud? “Wh-where have you been, Commander? Are you alone?”
You watched water drip from his waiting hand.
“I should be asking you those questions. How have you survived all alone?”
“Answer me first.”
A smile tugged at his cheek then, the gesture suddenly breaking the tension you felt.
“I’m not alone, no. I’ve been living at Eden about ten miles from here.”
“Eden?”
You’d never seen that name on any of the maps you’d studied.
“It’s a new town, one I’ve created with some veteran scout members. A place where people can be safe again, protected from the brutality that humanity has succumbed to.”
You let his revelation wash over you for a moment. Hope filled you at the thought that there was a place where society was being rebuilt, where people you knew were thriving. Erwin seemed to pick up on your new ease, moving closer.
“Are Sasha and Jean with you? That’s who I was with last, but we were separated a while ago after…” you swallowed thickly, a memory you’d long repressed coming back to light, “after Connie died.”
“Levi found Sasha not that long ago, actually. She was digging up turnips at one of our farms.”
“Sounds about right. Wait, farms, as in, plural? You’ve managed to maintain multiple?”
“That’s right, we’ve even got a plethora of livestock too. We’ve been virtually left alone once the roaming gangs realized we're a scout regiment.”
He offered you his hand again, security in reach.
“Come with me,” he roused, the spaces between his fingers now looking like home, “I’ll keep you safe.”
And you followed him blindly, accepted his proposal without a second thought, letting him pull you naked from the water and lead you like an unsuspecting lamb to the slaughter.
_________________________________________
Eden was sprawling. An old town made new, surrounded by high wooden walls and filled with laughter and the pitter-patter of children’s footsteps across the grass. All eyes were on you as you clung to Erwin, draped in only the bloodied, ruined shirt he’d pulled from his horse’s saddle pack on the ride home. No, not on you—on him.
Erwin always had an air about him, the kind of commanding presence that demanded attention, but now his authority weighed so heavily it was palpable. The center of gravity shifted whenever his horse trotted by the homes along the winding dirt roads of Eden. People were dropping to their knees, some face down in the dirt, others sat with enlightenment on their faces. All for him. Just who was he now—who was he to these people?
The staring had you hiding your face against Erwin’s naked back, had your fingers sinking into the muscles of his stomach. But there was still a sense of security you felt. The moment the gates opened, you saw familiar green cloaks rushing around, leading cattle and carrying baskets of vegetables and meat you hadn’t seen in ages. While the world felt dead, Eden felt alive.
Erwin deftly pulled you from atop the horse when he reached the stables, hands gentle as if he was afraid of disturbing your gossamer composure. But still he reeked of masculinity, proud to show off his bare chest and scars, proud to be the hero rescuing the lost damsel in distress.
“Oi, you were supposed to be back two days ago—” Levi stopped instantly in his stride as he rounded the corner of the stables. He still wore the same unimpressed expression, but there was something unreadable in his face as his eyes glanced back and forth between you and Erwin.
“Apologies, Levi, but I ran into some trouble on this scouting mission.”
“...what kind of trouble?”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle.”
But Erwin wasn’t looking at his captain, he was assessing you, smoothing hair out of your face with that soft, comforting smile painting his lips. A warm thumb swiped over your cheek, down your neck. You clung to his arm, not quite sure what to do with yourself just yet.
“Anyways, you must be scared shitless,” Levi directed toward you, “come with me and we’ll get you fed and dressed—”
“No, that’s alright, I’ll take care of her.”
A tension brewed in the air that you didn’t expect. Levi was quiet, jaw flexing and fists clenching.
“We’ve got to find accommodations for her to stay—”
“With me,” Erwin cut him off again, hand pressing against your lower back, “she’ll stay with me.”
Heat climbed up your throat, stained your ears, at his words. They were intimate, heavy. Being alone with him was nothing new, you’d once spent many nights helping him with paperwork, or, on the rare occasion, letting him teach you how to play chess. The most he’d ever touched you all those years ago—how many had it been? Two? Three? It felt like ten—was a simple brush of his knuckles over yours as you passed papers, hot fingertips against palms as you took pawns and bishops.
Now he touched you like he knew you...like he just could. It was natural, no hesitation. It made you weak in the knees. It had Levi looking tense.
“Tch, just...put on a fucking shirt before you blind someone.”
Levi still had the ability to make Erwin laugh. The sound was light and airy, a true chuckle of happiness as he took your hand and led you away.
_________________________________________
“It’s beautiful, what you’ve created here,” you said it after indulging in an overflowing platter of food, the first taste of wine still stinging the back of your cheeks. And you meant it.
Before leading you to his cabin, Erwin took his time showing you around the dusty roads to present what his hard work produced. You’d almost forgotten you were barefoot, draped in only his white button down that barely reached your knees, as you surveyed the landscape. He hadn’t been lying about the multiple farms. Cattle, fowl, swine, even sheep were being raised just outside the oak walls, alongside long rows of corn, potatoes, melons, any food you could imagine. While nothing was in excess, there was still an abundance to keep what had to be the hundreds of hungry mouths happy and fed.
Eden was a haven far removed from the savagery the inhabitants of Paradis unfortunately succumbed to.
“I wish you could have been here to experience more of it. I should have found you sooner.”
Erwin leaned against his door as he shut it behind him, the rather spacious room darkened from the last light of dusk. You awkwardly pulled at the sleeves of his shirt, now completely out of your element as you stood in his intimate space.
“Were you...were you looking for me?”
“Always. I’ve tried to save as many lost scouts as I can over the years.”
Lost. That was the word you’d been looking for. You felt so lost and alone, but Erwin was chasing those lingering emotions away.
Erwin was always someone who made you feel safe. You ran to him before the world ended whenever you needed safety, tucked yourself away in his books and his presence to chase away the nightmares of titans climbing walls. Nightmares of a new kind plagued you now, fears of dying, fears of living in an untamed world.
All your worries dissipated around him. You were so defeated, so tired. You needed a refuge, needed strong arms to put you back on your weary feet. You were so ready to cling to him again, to let Erwin be the barrier between you and your nightmares.
You’d pledged your heart to fight for him before and those vows still resonated inside of you. Whatever he wanted, you’d give it.
“It’s strange,” you found the courage to look him in the eye then, brilliant blue waiting for you, “I feel like I’ve stepped back into my past life. It was as if everything I lived before the meteor hit was wiped away. Dead. But I can see how a place like this, like...Eden,” the name still felt foreign in your mouth, “how it can give people hope again.”
An awkward silence settled as he took in what you were saying. You glanced around the room, finding it rather barren, most of the space filled by a large feather bed and shelves that housed what books could be salvaged from the capital.
The air smelled like him. The scent of dried herbs—bergamot, perhaps, something tart, citrusy, bleeding into the smell of leather, dust. You breathed it in, having missed sharing his air more than you thought. It was comforting, to have a scent of home kissing your nose.
“It’s nice to see your face again.”
“Yours too,” you offered, a nervous gaze flickering over him. He looked older, more refined, more wrinkles around his eyes, that scar on his cheek faded white into tawny skin.
“What happened there?” You absentmindedly traced your finger over your own cheek, signaling to him what you were asking about.
He touched his fingertips to the forgotten wound. You could tell the story was playing behind his eyes, but he stayed quiet, moving his hand to sweep through his blonde undercut.
“It was a long time ago, back when I was still building this place by hand. There were people who didn’t agree with my ideologies, people who abandoned us, who fought us. Founding Eden was painstaking, but worth it.”
“But who…?”
He sighed, “Nile. He was supposed to co-found this settlement with me, create a place for scouts and military police to work and thrive together. But he turned his back on me.”
Something in his darkening tone told you not to press any farther.
“I’m sorry.”
Erwin closed the gap between your bodies with an easy, long step. He touched you again, massive hands cupping at your face, slipping beneath the high collar of his shirt on your skin to brush against your neck.
“Don’t be. You’ll make this place better than before, my favorite little cadet back where she belongs.”
His admission had something smoldering in your belly. Pride. Lust. Perhaps too many of those deadly sins swirling within your gut. You’d always tried your hardest to be in the commander’s good graces, you’d always wanted to be his favorite. The confirmation had you swimming with delight, so much so that you didn’t pay any attention to how far his fingers traveled underneath the ruined shirt, to how close he came to sweeping his thumb over your sensitive, hardened nipple.
“I…”
“Take off this bloody shirt and get some sleep. I have some things to take care of and I’ll be back later.”
Warm handprints were left on your face, your chest, as you watched him smile and step out of his room. The familiar, thunking click of a lock signaled that you were safe and alone.
You stripped yourself of the spoiled shirt, casting the crimson stains into the corner of the room before climbing carefully into Erwin’s bed. Everything was so perfectly placed, you felt remiss to wrinkle his sheets, to ruin the fresh scent with your tired, naked body. You’d have to ask for a real bath tomorrow; a warm tub with actual soap, not just your bare hands and cold river water.
You weren’t sure when you fell asleep, but you wouldn’t be able to forget waking up in the dead of night to find a heavy arm curled around your waist and hot breath soaking into your neck.