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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Discord Prompt Fills
Stats:
Published:
2021-04-11
Completed:
2021-04-12
Words:
400
Chapters:
4/4
Comments:
37
Kudos:
40
Bookmarks:
6
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368

Not This Again

Summary:

A prompt fill for a discord channel for a friend. =)

Sephiroth does not need the contents of this particular company promotion... but maybe someone else would appreciate it?

Notes:

Prompt: Bi-yearly, Sephiroth gets a care package from Shinra, which among other things contains lube, and a whole bunch of interesting condoms with an obnoxiousy friendly pamphlet detailing the merits of a safe and healthy sex life. Perhaps it's protocol for the higherups or perhaps it's an underhanded method to get him laid. Sephiroth is asexual, however, and is not in the least bit tempted, aside from perhaps some of the normal ones for the occasional jerk. So he finds pretexts to pass them off to subordinates.
Imagine how they would react and what they make of it?

Anyone else is free to use this prompt if they would like!

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Not this again.

Sephiroth lifted a svelte clear tube of strawberry-tasting lube from the not-discreet-enough Shinra Executive Care Package.

He'd be offended by the implications, except everybody got them.

Feeling generous, he set up a table outside his office. Like a very bizarre cheeseboard, he arranged the assortment of condoms, brochures, and other miscellany tastefully atop it, adding a sign, 'Take One'.

Satisfied, he went back to work. There were no complaints. Success.

When Sephiroth left for the day, all the items were still there. He frowned.

...he moved the makeshift free condom stand to in front of Zack's office.