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Laura is fourteen when she learns about red wrist lines. Of course, she has always had some kind of idea, in the back of her mind, about falling in love and “catching a line”, as people would refer to it. She remembers her friends in middle school, how they would play around with red markets, tracing messy lines on their wrists to show the other kids that they liked someone.
But it’s only at fourteen that she really learns all the implications. It’s a Saturday afternoon, her dad is finally home and they are watching tv, cuddled up on the couch next to each other.
Laura has always been curious, but she is also shy and extremely nervous when it comes to certain topics. Her dad must be sensing that something is bothering her, because he mutes the tv and asks her what’s on her mind.
“You and mom started dating in high school, right?”. She tentatively starts the conversation.
“That is correct.” Her father smiles, getting lost in memories.
“And how…I mean, how did you know you liked each other?”
“Well, I have liked her since the first day of school. I remember looking at her in class, it was Chem, if I remember correctly; well, she was so beautiful and smiling and she wasn’t trying so hard like everyone else was. She was just…herself.”
Laura smiles, sadly. She knows asking certain questions hurts her father, and she also knows how hearing certain answers hurts her.
“It wasn’t ‘til junior year, though, that we ended up in the same class together: this time it was Algebra 2. And by that time, everything was different. Better. I was more confident, I was respectful, and I got the guts to ask her out. She agreed, and well, the rest is history.”
Her father has tears ready to jump out, so Laura hugs him, tight.
“But why are you asking me this?”
“Well, I just…a lot of my friends from school are starting to hang out with boys, and I just wonder if I should be doing the same.”
Laura’s father looks concerned. “Laura, you shouldn’t be doing anything that doesn’t make you comfortable.”
“I know, it’s just…sometimes I feel so alone. Betty showed me something, today.”
“What did she show you?”
“She…well, she has been hanging out with David a lot, recently. They go out at the movies, even. Last night they went to see a romantic comedy, some film she hasn’t shut up about for the last two weeks and well, she got something.”
Laura’s father is confused by now. “What did she get?”
Laura bites her lip, before whispering. “A red line. On her wrist”
“Ohh.” Her dad smiles, finally understanding.
“She told me this means they will get married one day. Is it true?”
Laura’s dad laughs at this, wholeheartedly. “Laura, no. I mean, sure it’s possible, but no. It just means that she loves him.”
“Like I love you?”
“Well, kind of. But it’s more like, the way I loved your mom.”
“Oh.”
Laura is quiet for a while. “But you only have one…is that for mom?”
“It’s most definitely for your mom, yes.”
“And did she…she only had one, right?”
“Yeah, sweetheart. Only one.”
“I understand.”
“Laura. I never really talked to you about love, or relationships, because I always thought you were too young; but this reminds me you are not. Some people, like Betty, apparently, they fall fast. Sometimes falling fast is good, because you are always open to love, you give and take a whole lot; but other times, falling fast means getting your heart broken. Some people, like your mom and me, are lucky because we fell for someone that loved us, and we got to have our happy moments. And then there are people that fall later in life, when they have experienced whatever it is they needed to in order to be ready to love. Whatever kind of person you are, Laura, I want you to remember this; don’t rush into things, I promise you, when it’s right, you will know it.”
It’s easy to be reassured by your dad at fourteen that yeah, one day you will find love, too. It’s harder being sixteen-almost-seventeen and still, nothing. It’s not that she hasn’t tried. Because she has. Laura has been to countless parties, played spin the bottle one too many times , gone on dates with a handful of different guys, and still nothing.
Between one game of truth or dare and an interesting afternoon spent making out with her best friend on said best friend’s bed, Laura has come to the conclusion that she may have been looking for love in the wrong kind of people. But even after saying goodbye to the idea of getting a boyfriend and living happily forever after, still no red line.
She starts wondering what went wrong with her, because all she sees around her is love (and sex, and cheating, and high school drama) but she always, always goes back alone every Friday night.
Laura is an overly enthusiast eighteen years old girl when she arrives at Silas University.
She has kissed her dad after getting out of the car before insisting on bringing her stuff inside by herself. A new, exciting life is just waiting for her. And for once, she is not worrying about anything.
Her suitcase is heavy, but she makes it to room 307; the door is slightly ajar, so she just pushes it open and gets inside.
Her roommate is sprawled on the bed on the left side; she is reading a book, and she looks so into it that Laura actually feels bad for interrupting.
Oh well.
“Hey, I’m Laura!” She greets awkwardly, pushing her suitcase all the way in.
Her roommate slowly (very slowly) puts her book away and turns around.
They look at each other for the long seconds it takes the other girl to cross the room and come standing face to face with Laura.
“I’m Carmilla”
She offers Laura her right hand, and Laura, like she is used to by now, quickly checks the wrist.
“You don’t have any mark either?!”
Carmilla looks confused, before understanding slowly settles in her features.
“Do you just go up to strangers and ask personal questions? That’s kind of rude, you know.”
Laura feels her cheeks burn. “Oh my god, you’re right, You’re totally right. I’m so sorry!”
Carmilla smiles, almost imperceptibly.
“It’s just, I have never met anyone my age that still didn’t have at least a line, so yeah, sorry I guess.”
“Don’t sweat it.”
Laura smiles tentatively.
“So, now marks, uh? How come?”
Laura shrugs. “I wish I knew.”
Carmilla smirks and heads back to her bed.
“Wait, what about you? How come you have no marks?”
Carmilla doesn’t take her eyes off the book she is reading. “I’m a vampire, cupcake. We don’t really fall in love.”
//
Laura laughed when she met Carmilla and she told her she was a vampire. Because, really?
After five weeks at Silas, though, she is almost positive that her roommate was telling the truth.
Between girls gone missing, blood sacrifices, and alchemy experiments gone terribly wrong, a vampire really isn’t anything out of the ordinary.
She is having a coffee break (more like a cookies-and-a-cup-of-sugar-with-some-coffee break) when LaFontaine and Perry, some people from her dorm hall approach.
“Hey guys.”
“Hey Laura” they both answer, smiling. LaF doesn’t hesitate and takes one of the cookies, while Perry gives them a look of disappointment.
(They both have one single, very-red-looking line on their wrists)
“So, we were wondering…”
Laura looks up from her book, curios. Perry’s tone sounds unsure all of a sudden.
“We have a hot friend who thinks you’re super cute and would like to buy your dinner” LaFontaine interrupts her.
“Uhm…what?”
“Yes, in fact, that is what we wanted to ask you: would you be interested in going on a date with a very cute, very tall friend of ours?”
“Oh…” Laura has to think about it for a moment. Of course, it’s not like she thought there would be no dating in college. It’s just that she has been so busy with papers and studying and everything that she hasn’t quite had the chance to look around.
“Uhm, you guys know I’m gay, right?” (Just making sure.)
“ ’f course” LaFontaine is still smiling. “C’mon, Danny is super cute and she's had a major crush on you since she watched that journalism project of yours. Give the girl a chance!”
Laura blushes, taking a sip of her coffee. “Sounds good.”
//
Carmilla might be a vampire, but that’s not what annoys Laura. She is not annoyed by the blood containers that fill the fridge, or by her coming back at four am, messing with Laura’s sleeping schedule. No. She is annoyed by her clothes left on the floor, by her cookies disappearing, by the shower constantly filled with Carmilla’s dark hair, by her being so unfriendly towards anyone that might come over to their room to hang out with Laura.
It doesn’t matter. She is going on her first date with Danny tonight, and her obnoxious roommate is not going to ruin it.
Her and Danny have been talking for the last couple of weeks, meeting up for coffee between a class and another, and texting all the time. She is crushing already.
So when they are sitting in front of each other, eating a delicious and probably expensive meal, Laura gets nervous and does something stupid.
She grabs Danny’s hand, but instead of holding it, she checks her wrist.
Two small red lines.
She quickly snaps out of it. “Uhm, I’m really sorry, Danny. God, I’m so stupid. I don’t even know why I did it.”
Danny smiles, freeing her hand from Laura’s hold. “Hey, it’s fine. I actually couldn’t help looking at your wrist myself…no lines yet?”
Laura sighs, relieved. “Nope. Not at all.”
Danny smiles, sheepishly. “You will get there, no worries.”
“Yeah.” Laura laughs, embarrassed.
“Actually…would you mind telling me about yours? I know it’s not usually first-date-topic, but…”
Danny shrugs. “Sure, why not?”
She looks so cute, with her long hair and her big glasses, and Laura feels really lucky.
“The first one goes all the way back to when I was sixteen. Rachel was my first love and first heartbreak: how cliché, I know. The other one is Michael, from freshman year at Silas.”
She frowns when mentioning the name, so Laura knows there’s probably more to the story.
“Anyway, we were together for almost a year and a half…until last year, he had to transfer. Bad things were happening in his frat house, so it was for the best. Still hurt, though.”
Laura takes her hand (for real, this time.)
She doesn’t let go until dinner is over and they are walking back to Laura’s dorm.
Danny hesitates at Laura’s door, before bending over and placing a chaste kiss to Laura’s mouth.
“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
And she does.
“So, any marks from the Red Giant yet?”
Laura looks up from her paper.
Carmilla is looking at her with a curious expression, while opening one of her “milk containers”.
“What are you talking about?”
“Ugh. I asked you if you have got any new tattoos recently? Red, on your wrist?”
Laura checks (just in case). “No, why would have I?”
Carmilla shrugs. “You and the Amazon surely are spending a lot of time together. In here.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I know you don’t really dig company.”
Carmilla just keeps drinking.
“Anyway…I haven’t. Yet. I hope I will, sooner or later. Danny is great, and I think she actually might ask me to be exclusive”.
“How. Exciting.” Carmilla cleans her mouth with her sleeve.
“You know, it would actually be nice if we could have a normal conversation once in a while? Like normal roommates do.”
“Well, sorry you got stuck with a vampire, cupcake. You can always upgrade to a single bedroom. I’m sure it would suit you just well.”
“What? No, that’s not what I meant.”
But it’s too late, Carmilla has already disappeared.
//
She was right; not even a week later, Danny takes her out to a movie, and when it’s over she invites her to her place. Laura accepts, excited and a bit scared.
But there’s nothing to be scared of: she finds chocolate and some flowers on the kitchen table. Danny smiles, shyly.
“I was wondering if you would make me really happy by accepting these flowers and, uhm…by being my girlfriend? Only if you want to, of course.”
Laura interrupts her with a long kiss, in which she tries to say all the things she is not able to say with words. How she really likes her. How she is grateful. And how she really, really hopes she will be able to fall in love soon.
//
Being Danny’s girlfriend is great, it really is. She tries to always be outside Laura’s class when the lesson is over; they go out to dinner and make out a lot at Danny’s place (Carmilla is always around lately, it’s like she doesn’t even go to class).
But still, no marks.
“You know, my wrist is starting to get itchy” Danny tells her one night.
They are laying on her couch after a homemade dinner, pretending to watch a movie.
“Yeah?” Laura questions her, not really understanding.
“Oh yeah, I forgot you never got one. It’s just, every time you get a new line, sometime before your wrist gets kind of itchy. I always assumed it meant you are falling…you know, you are getting there.”
“Was it like that the other two times?”
Danny nods. “It’s like this for everyone, I think. All my friends felt it, too.”
“So…you are getting there, uh?”
Danny blushes. “Yeah, and I am not surprised. You are kind of perfect.” She moves Laura’s hair out of the way to look into her eyes. “So I was just wondering if, by any chance, you felt the same for me?”
Laura feels uncomfortable, all of a sudden. Because she doesn’t: no itch, definitely no red line.
“What would I know, right?” She says, instead.
Danny nods, sadly. “Right.”
//
“Carmilla, can I talk to you?”
Carmilla is cuddled up on her bed, with Laura’s yellow pillow, pretending to sleep.
“Carm? Please.”
“Alright.” She gets up and stretches her arms, making a show of yawning. “What’s bothering you?”
Laura hesitates, then curls up in bed next to Carmilla.
“I think I’m broken.”
“Broken? What do you mean?” She looks at Laura, worried, but she doesn’t seem to find anything physically out of place.
“I don’t think I am capable of falling in love.”
Carmilla wants to make a joke, she really does, but she can see tears forming in Laura’s eyes.
“Don’t be stupid, of course you can fall in love. Maybe you and the redhead just aren’t meant to be.”
“But why?!” Tears are falling down Laura’s cheeks and she can’t do anything to stop.
“She is perfect, she is falling for me, and I just…I don’t feel anything.”
“Maybe you will? With time…” Carmilla doesn’t know what to say; she is not the right person for this conversation, she knows nothing about love.
“It just feels like a waste of time. Things were exciting at first, I really like her and it’s so nice to have a girlfriend. But now it’s just starting to feel like it felt in high school. Wrong and exhausting.”
She sighs; Carmilla puts her hand on her arm, trying to relax her.
“I can promise you, you’re not broken. In all the years I’ve lived and out of all the people I’ve met, no one was ever broken. I promise you. Things will happen when it’s right, you just have to wait.”
“But I’ve been waiting for years!”
“Hey, listen. It can take decades for some people, alright? So you gotta be patient. If that girlfriend of yours is the right person, she will wait with you.”
Laura nods. “How does it feel, though? Knowing you can’t fall in love…”
Carmilla shrugs. “I wouldn’t really have had time for love, anyway. So.”
“But don’t you want to know how it feels? If only for once…”
“I’m not made for love, clearly. And I’m fine with that.”
“But…”
“I’m really tired now, okay?”
“Yeah, sure. Thanks for the talk.”
//
Laura leaves a full box of cookies for Carmilla the next morning.
Laura kisses her with purpose, hands locked in Danny’s red, long hair. So soft.
“Laura, wait” She is giggling, a little tipsy herself.
“Why wait? I like you Danny, I like you a looooot.”
She trips and almost falls; luckily Danny is there to catch her.
“I like you too Laura, but you have been drinking and…”
“So what?” Laura whines, hugging her tighter.
“C’mon, let’s get you to bed, okay?”
“Are you gonna be there too?”
“Yeah, definitely.” She laughs. “I will sleep next to you. Sleep, okay?”
“Mmmh. Fine.”
They make it to bed, eventually.
Laura relaxes a little, breathing in and out slowly.
After a long silence, she turns to face her girlfriend.
“Will you ever sleep with me?”
“I always sleep with you.” She gestures to their bodies, close to each other.
“You know what I mean.”
Danny sighs. “Of course. And I can’t wait for that day, it’s just…I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
“But you’re not pressuring me. I am pressuring you.”
“That’s true.” She laughs. “But really, Laura? We can wait. I told you a while ago that I was falling and I would like for us to be on the same page when we eventually, you know.”
“I’m falling” Laura yawns, feeling her head spinning a little bit. “…asleep.”
Danny smiles, scooting closer to the tiny girl.
Yeah, she is definitely falling for her.
“Are you going to bed already?”
“Yeah, I know I have a paper to write, but…”
“Cupcake, don’t be stupid. I know it’s your birthday.”
“Oh. You do?”
“Yeah. You know, sometimes I actually listen to you.”
“Well, that’s nice. But what does it matter? I’m tired.”
“Aren’t you going to spend it with your girlfriend? I haven’t seen her around all day, which is weird.”
“Uhm, Danny is away for the whole week. A Summer’s Society commitment, I don’t know. She said she couldn’t really tell.”
“Tsk, bullshit.”
“Carmilla!”
“Well, if I were your girlfriend, I surely wouldn’t leave you alone on your birthday.”
Carmilla is smirking, and Laura can’t help blushing.
“Well, that’s nice to know.”
Carmilla shrugs.
“So, aren’t you going to wish me happy birthday?”
“I will do better. Hold on, okay?”
Laura nods, and Carmilla disappears in a puff of smoke.
//
Thirty minutes later they are sitting on the library rooftop: blankets, cookies and a bottle of champagne. The night sky is clear and the stars look so close.
Laura breathes in the cold air, allowing herself to relax into the ground.
Carmilla lays next to her, not quite touching.
They are silent for a long time; Laura thinks about getting old, about the stars and falling in love.
Carmilla stares at her, looking at the stars and then at Laura again.
“You know, I haven’t felt so good in a long time.” She admits.
Carmilla turns on her side. “Yeah?”
Laura nods. “I mean, I am definitely a happy person. But this feels so…freeing. Like no one is expecting me to do or to say anything. I like just breathing in, breathing out, and looking at the stars.”
Carmilla nods. “That’s what I usually do.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. It only takes me a couple of hours to find someone I can feed off of; but this is how I spend the rest of my nights, usually.”
Laura thinks about it for a moment. “It’s nice.”
“It is.”
“No, I mean…it was nice of you, to share it with me.”
Carmilla doesn’t answer; instead sits up and pours the champagne in the two glasses she brought with her.
Laura accepts it and sips it slowly.
“I am…kind of glad Danny had to go away.”
Carmilla laughs. “I am definitely glad she had to go away.”
“No, really. Don't get me wrong, I adore her. It's just, I don’t think a dinner and a movie could ever compare to this. I love it.”
Carmilla doesn’t say anything; when she is done with her drink she lays back again, this time closer to Laura. Laura does too, letting her head rest on the crook of Carmilla’s neck.
“Happy birthday, Laura.”
Laura gives Carmilla a kiss on the cheek, then falls back in the same spot she was before.
Carmilla hisses slightly, jerking her hand under the blanket. It feels like something stung her.
Laura doesn’t notice; she is too busy looking at the stars.
//
When she wakes up the next morning, she is alone. The empty champagne bottle is gone, so are the glasses and the cookies. She is all by herself, only the blanket left to cover her.
It must be early enough: no one is around, the sky is a clear pink and the sun is still not in sight.
She stretches, taking in the beauty surrounding her. She is grateful for how the night went.
She wishes Carmilla was still with her: her rational brain tells her that she probably went to get some food, since she didn’t get to drink any blood the night before.
But still, it would have been nice to wake up together.
Laura gets up and collects the blanket, trying to push away those weird thoughts about Carmilla.
Danny is supposed to get home by late afternoon, and she can’t wait to see her.
As Laura makes her way down, she scratches her wrist absentmindedly; something must have stung her during the night. By the time she makes it back to her (empty) dorm, she can’t ignore the itching feeling on her right wrist anymore.
//
Laura kisses the redhead passionately as soon as she steps into her apartment.
“Hey, did you miss me?”
“Definitely.” She kisses her again, giggling.
They fall back on Danny’s couch.
“Wait, Laura. You don’t want to see what I got you for your birthday?”
Laura thinks about it for a split second. “Not really.”
“Okay, okay.” Danny kisses her back, enthusiastically.
Laura abruptly stops, standing up. “Guess what?”
“What?”
“My wrist. It’s been itchy since this morning.”
“Really?!” Danny checks it, excitedly. There are no visible marks yet, but still.
“I wanna be with you. For real.”
Danny stand up too, surprised. “Uhm, okay.”
“Okay?”
“We can still wait, you know? Until you are sure. This doesn’t really mean anything, and…”
“I’m sure.” Laura cuts her short.
“Well, okay. I guess we’re finally on the same page?”
Laura kisses her again, and again, and this time they don’t stop.
//
She has been crying in her sleep, that’s the first thing she realizes when she wakes up. The pillow is wet and her eyes sting. She can feel Danny behind her, spooning her, her breath slow and relaxed in her sleep.
This is not how she thought it would feel.
It wasn’t bad; Danny was sweet, and considerate, and patient. She was not the problem.
Laura is. Laura has always been the problem.
She starts shaking, and can feel Danny move behind her.
“Hey” her voice is sleepy. “What’s wrong, Laura?”
Laura is silent, trying to cover her crying.
“It’s nothing, really. Go back to sleep.”
Danny turns on the light. “Oh, Laura…”
She kisses her forehead, softly. “It’s okay to cry; first times are always emotional.”
Laura takes her hand and holds it tightly. “Thank you for being so sweet.”
Danny smiles, still sleepy. Laura closes her eyes, ready to try to get some sleep.
“Oh, hey look!”
Laura opens her eyes. “What?”
Danny gives her the other hand, and Laura sees it: a thick, red new line.
“Oh…wow.”
Danny’s excitement fades from her features. “Uhm, did you…?”
Laura doesn’t have to check to know the answer.
(she does anyway)
Danny tries to hide her disappointment.
She doesn’t see much of Carmilla for the next week, which is probably for the best. She is spending a lot of time inside of her dorm room, avoiding Danny, avoiding responsibilities. Seeing Carmilla wouldn’t help.
Laura is currently wasting time on a paper she is not focused enough to be working on, eating a cookie while scratching her wrist. It’s becoming a problem, really. The more she avoids Danny, the more it itches. She has a theory that maybe it’s because she is missing her, but she’s too scared to find out.
So when Carmilla appears behind her out of nowhere, she is startled.
“Were you scratching your wrist?”
“Uhm, what?” Laura turns her chair so to face her roommate.
“Just now, I saw you. Were you scratching it?”
“Uhm, yeah. It must be poison ivy, I don’t know.”
“Are you getting your line?” Carmilla’s tone is aggressive.
“No!” She doesn’t know why she doesn’t want to talk to Carmilla about it.
But she is not ready to admit that something went irremediably wrong; plus, she is kind of pissed at Carmilla. She disappears for a week after spending her birthday with her, and now comes back and wants to know this?
“Why are you lying to me?” Her voice doesn’t sound aggressive anymore; more like hurt.
Laura gives Carmilla a look, a long one. She doesn’t look like she usually does; she is wearing baggy jeans, no boots, and a long-sleeved sweater.
“I thought vampires didn’t get cold” She says, instead.
“Whatever.” Carmilla shrugs, falling onto her bed.
Laura follows her, sitting on the other side of the bed.
“I slept with Danny.”
Carmilla doesn’t meet her gaze. “Congratulations.”
“That’s not the point. I thought I would have a red line by now, because she did, but nope.”
Carmilla rolls her eyes. “And you’re telling me this because?”
“Well, I thought we were friends.”
“You thought wrong.”
“But last week…”
“I felt bad for you, okay? All alone on your birthday and everything. Now please leave me alone.”
Laura gives her a hurt look, not understanding.
“Laura? I’m serious, leave me alone.”
So she does, because she has no other choice.
//
When she gets back that night she is surprised to see flowers on her bed. She thinks they might be from Danny, but then she remembers how she has been avoiding the girl and realizes it’s unlikely.
They are from Carmilla, though.
So is the food on the small table set in the space in between their two beds.
It’s Chinese - she remembers complaining how she craved some a couple of weeks before (she is too broke to get takeout and Danny is allergic).
So yeah, apparently Carmilla listens sometimes.
She doesn’t know if she should start eating or wait for her roommate to get back; the table is set for one, and she is starving, so she doesn’t think too much about it.
When she is done with the food Carmilla comes in, wearing an over sized jacket, a box of ice cream in hand.
“Oh, hey” She smiles sheepishly.
“Hey” Laura shakes her hand, unsure. “Uhm, thanks for the food.”
“It’s alright.” She puts the ice cream on the table. “I actually wanted to apologize, for this morning…I was kind of rude. And horrible, yeah.”
“Hey, don’t worry. I can be obnoxious at times.”
Carmilla shrugs. “So, I know you’re always complaining about wanting a normal roommate, right? I got us some movies on DVD to watch on your laptop, if you want to, of course. Maybe you already have plans?”
She looks so unsure, it’s very cute. “I’m wide open.”
“Okay, good.” She sighs, relieved. “We have The Notebook, Twilight, and Frozen. I didn’t really know what you would be into.”
“It’s perfect.”
“And Laura? If you want, we can talk, you know. About you and Danny.”
Laura is taken aback: Carmilla never used her girlfriend’s real name before. She clearly is trying.
“I can do without that for a night.”
They end up cuddling on Laura’s bed, the movie long forgotten. Carmilla looks so beautiful and so soft, so delicate. Laura traces her jaw with a finger, tenderly. Carmilla closes her eyes.
Laura’s heart is filled with joy and something else, something she can’t quite pinpoint.
She listens to Carmilla’s faded heartbeat, ear to her chest, and lets herself relax into the other girl.
//
When she wakes up in the middle of the night, Carmilla’s hair still entangled with hers, she feels a sharp stinging in her wrist. She doesn’t have to check to know what happened.
(she does anyway)
Danny breaks up with her the next day, when Laura goes to find her in her apartment. Laura feels guilty, and lets Danny cry and scream.
She went to show Danny her line, a small spark of hope that it happened, in fact, for her girlfriend.
“Are you kidding me?” Danny asks, a look of hurt and betrayal.
“No, I…I got it last night.”
“Who were you with?”
“What? Why does it matter?”
Danny looks angry, and Laura is scared because she never is.
“I was with Carmilla. We were just watching a movie.”
“Laura, do you think I’m an idiot?”
“No!”
“Then why would you show me this? It hurts, it hurts like hell.” She is crying now, and Laura might actually throw up.
“I just. I thought…”
“I love you Laura, I do, but you are so dumb. You can’t get a line for someone you are not with. That’s why I got mine after we slept together.”
“I…I didn’t know this.”
“Well, now you do. You have to be physically with the person, touching them, in order to get a line.”
“Oh.”
Danny asks her politely to leave then, and Laura numbly complies.
So she has fallen for her roommate. Who is a bipolar vampire. Who can’t fall in love.
She goes back to her dorm room crying, thinking that after all it would have been better if she actually was broken.
//
Carmilla doesn’t come back to the dorm and Laura can’t sleep; it’s almost 1 am when she gets up and goes up to the library rooftop, half of her hoping to find Carmilla there, half of her hoping to just relax by herself.
Carmilla is indeed there, wearing a short top and her usual leather pants. She faces Laura when she hears footsteps, and signals her to go sit next to her.
Laura does.
The sky is not as clear as the night of her birthday.
“You got your line, I see” Carmilla nods to Laura’s wrist.
“Wow, you really can see in the dark, uh?”
Carmilla smiles, sadly. “Yeah. So, why are you not celebrating? I left you the room, after all.”
Laura laughs, dryly. “We broke up.”
“What? Why?” Carmilla is quick to ask.
“Apparently, you can’t get a line from someone if you are not next to each other when you get it.”
Carmilla has a spark of hope in her eyes; it shines quickly and then disappears in the dark.
“So, when did you get it?”
Laura sighs. “Last night. Around three am, if we want to be specific.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
They don’t speak for some time.
“You know” Laura says “all this time, I always thought I was so slow to fall; but actually, I was just slow to acknowledge it.”
“Laura…”
“No, it’s okay. I know that vampires can’t fall in love, and yeah probably if you could you wouldn’t definitely fall for me. It’s just…”
Carmilla cuts her short with a kiss. It’s soft and intense and something she didn’t know she was longing for. It feels like air in her lungs after being underwater, like waking up from a nightmare, like falling in love.
Carmilla slowly pulls back. “That’s what I thought.” She whispers.
Laura can’t properly say anything, the light touch of Carmilla’s lips still lingering over hers.
“For the longest time, I thought that I couldn’t fall in love. Because I was a vampire, a monster. Apparently, that’s not true at all.”
“It’s not?”
“I got a line, too. Exactly nine days ago, on this same rooftop.”
“Oh.” Understanding slowly creeps up her spine. She feels dizzy.
“Yeah. I never thought you would possibly feel the same for me, so I hid it. Well actually, I hid myself: I was an asshole about you and Danny, but uhm, that’s why, apparently.”
Laura hugs her, tightly. “I’m in love with you. Oh my god, I can’t believe it took me so long to realize it. I’m in love with you, Carmilla! I’m not broken, I’m just dumb!”
Carmilla laughs, affectionately.
“I’m in love with you too, cupcake.”
//
This time, Carmilla is still by her side when she wakes up. The sky is clear and beautiful, the pink getting closer to red as the sun comes up, far away. A red that matches almost perfectly the color of both lines on Carmilla’s and Laura’s wrists.