Archive of Our Own

Juho never listened to Jaeyoon. So when Juho was back on the rink shortly after his injury, Jaeyoon just could let out an exasperated sigh. He had no right to be mad at the younger, though- because Jaeyoon would’ve done the exact same. Spring had come by faster than the two would’ve liked. Spring meant summer was around the corner and summer meant no training on the ice. They would be forced to attend individual ballet and afterwards go to pair dancing classes. It wasn’t something they hated though they didn’t love it either. Juho was definitely more flexible than Jaeyoon, something their ballet instructor constantly rubbed under the older’s nose. Juho on the other hand looked like he was about to pounce onto the instructor; His self restraint was amazing. 

Today was their last practice on the ice, something the two were saviouring until the end. They were currently leaning against the rink’s boards, simultaneously sipping on their water bottles. “Let’s go on a date after practice!” Jaeyoon had blurted out, causing Juho to give him a questioning look. “It’s been a while since we were alone. And it’s been an eternity since we had a date- hey don’t give me that look Jju!” Jaeyoon cut himself off upon seeing his partner’s incredulous stare. “You know that we haven’t been alone since the competition because our relationship is not public and reporters are on our heels, right?” Juho gestured, with a slight nod of his head, towards the windows. Jaeyoon was aware that they were watched and he was aware that their record had caused the spark of interest to explode into a massive flame of obsession. He indeed was aware of the publics and skating fans interest yet that didn’t mean that he didn’t miss spending quality time with his boyfriend. Sure, they saw each other practically 24 hours a day a week, but he wanted to do couple things- like going to the movie theatre or strolling through the city, eating out or sharing an ice cream. 

Juho’s gaze softened upon seeing Jaeyoon’s crestfallen look. He turned his body slightly, cupping the older’s face with his gloved hands. His water bottle was resting atop of the boards, already forgotten about. His thumb glided over Jaeyoon’s cheek gently - slowly - before he leaned closer. Clearly, Juho was taking too long in Jaeyoon’s opinion as he practically pulled the younger into his chest, successfully connecting their lips. Juho had let out a surprised sound at that, having not expected Jaeyoon to be that impatient. The pull had made the younger nearly lose his footing, though Jaeyoon’s strong hold wouldn’t have let it come that far. 

Juho buried his face in the older's neck, nuzzling the skin softly with his nose as he inhaled the sweet smell of his partner. He had hooked his arms under Jaeyoon's, resting his hands on Jaeyoon's broad back. 

The older copied him, nuzzling his neck while he rested his hands on Juho's hips.

They were forced to separate quickly though, as a cough gained their attention. "Mind if you go back to practicing? If you're done snuggling, that is." Their coaches were standing right behind the boards they were just resting at with their arms crossed and eyebrows raised. 

Jaeyoon couldn't help but silently coo at the soft red spreading across Juho's cheeks and the tip of his ears as he skated away from their trainers. Jaeyoon followed suit, probably trying to catch another glimpse of flustered Juho. Said skater was already getting ready to practice his jumps, completely ignoring the scrutinizing stares of their coaches. 

Jaeyoon didn't think it was a good idea for Juho to strain his ankle more than he already did so he skated up to him and placed himself in front of his partner. Juho gave him a bewildered look and before he could say something, Jaeyoon had placed a gloved finger onto his lips. "You can't practice your jumps yet, Juju. Your ankle won't thank you." The soft puff the younger let out before pouting made Jaeyoon's heart melt. 

Though Juho was good at hiding the pain he was in, Jaeyoon knew better. It was the little movements their trainers didn't see or chose not to. It was the ever so slightly furrowed eyebrows for just a fleeting second or the way Juho bit his lips whenever they reached the lifts and jumps. 

Practice ended in the early evening and the couple made their way home, to take their showers and rest. Jaeyoon's pleas of going out were skillfully ignored, or so he thought. Juho couldn't take the begging and sulking any longer and gave in with an exasperated "fine!" 

The huge smile had been somewhat of a reward for Juho. 

By the time they left, the late evening had already set in. Jaeyoon seemed to have something in mind but refused to tell the younger, so Juho just trusted him like he always did. Upon reaching their destination, Juho was speechless. It was an open ice-rink, fairy lights draped across the wooden beams, creating a rather romantic atmosphere. The evening sky was clear of clouds and gave a perfect sight of the moon slowly rising. "It's been a while since we were on the rink just for fun. You know, without the acrobatics and stuff." Jaeyoon gave him a warm smile. "Besides, I've always wanted to just skate by your side." Juho had wanted to point out that Jaeyoon has always been skating next to him, though Juho knew what the older meant. 

Despite it being pretty late, the rink was packed. The two had caught the attention of quite a few people as they changed into skates they rented from the rink owner. 

It took them longer than they'd have liked to get onto the ice, seeing that a crowd had started forming around them. Some asked for a signature, others for pictures. "Juho, how's your ankle? You're inhumane, for being able to skate so flawlessly and effortlessly despite your injury!" The person was too close for Juho's liking. He didn't like his personal space being invaded so brashly, especially if they didn't show any sign of stopping. Before he could answer, the person continued, taking another step towards the skater. 

The crowd had managed to separate the two, Juho was frantically looking around to catch Jaeyoon's eyes- to no avail. 

"I still wonder, though, was the injury real? Weren't you in pain? It's so hard to believe that someone could pull a performance in that caliber off in the state you were apparently in." The stranger's face morphed into a thoughtful one before they stepped even closer. They locked eyes with Juho, staring him down. Juho didn't break the eye contact, nor did he reply. His entire body screamed at him to run and flee but he couldn't leave Jaeyoon behind. "I bet you just came up with a lie so they'd take pity on you fags." It was merely a whisper and the person had leaned in, so only Juho could hear. "I don't know what your problem is but-" It just earned Juho a lighthearted laugh before the stranger pushed past him. The person's next words made Juho's hair stand on end. "Watch out. I know all your dirty secrets." 

He didn't even have time to process what just had unfolded, as the people around him kept pushing him for more signs and pictures. Had it not been for Jaeyoon to finally show some mercy towards Juho, he'd probably still be stuck in a crowd of young skaters relentlessly sticking pens and papers out. Juho let out a breath he didn't know he had held in as soon as they were on the ice. 

The words of the stranger were pushed back, focusing on the way Jaeyoon had glued himself into the younger's side. He had underestimated the early spring weather dearly and was now seeking warmth from Juho. The two knew their every step was watched but Jaeyoon didn't care. "I'm so cold Juho" he whined, leaning closer to the younger as they lazily skated around the rink. Juho sighed as he took off his scarf, stopping at one of the rink's boards. Jaeyoon had stopped right next to him, giving him a puzzled look. "I told you to dress warmly." Juho nagged, though his voice was gentle. He wrapped his scarf around Jaeyoon's exposed neck and the older buried his nose into the material, inhaling Juho's fruity smell. The giddy sound that left Jaeyoon's throat earned him a chuckle from the younger skater. 

Jaeyoon admired Juho's beauty. Juho's dark brown orbs were shining, the stars reflection twinkling in them. The two were back to skating slowly next to each other. Jaeyoon couldn't take his eyes off his partner. His skin glowed with the moon shining brightly. Despite the long, black coat he was wearing, one could see Juho's body was firm and ripped. His hair had grown quite a bit since the championships, the black strands framing his face. The cut was flattering Juho's sharp features. His nose was red from the cold, though Jaeyoon was more focused on the mole on the bridge of Juho's nose. 

Jaeyoon had been incredibly silent for the past minutes, which was concerning to Juho. So when he looked to the side to check on him, Juho had caught his partner staring at him. It didn't make him uncomfortable, no. On the contrary, Juho felt safe. He saw the adoration and love pour out and Juho couldn't help the gentle smile as Jaeyoon realised he had been caught staring. Said man cleared his throat, earning a hearty laugh sides Juho. "You're just too beautiful, I couldn't help myself." Jaeyoon draped an arm around Juhos' side softly. To everyone around them it might have looked like a friendly gesture, but Juho knew better. 

"You don't know how much I just want to kiss you right now" Jaeyoon had whispered to Juho. Heat crept up Juho's neck, a light red tinting his cheeks and tip of his ears. He didn't say anything but sped up, leaving Jaeyoon behind. God, Jaeyoon needed to control himself more, though Juho would've loved it if he had just done it.

The rest of the hour they had spent in comfortable silence, just occasionally pointing out random things. They were sitting at one of the tables near the rink, each with their own cup of hot chocolate. They sat next to each other, Juho's hand resting on Jaeyoon's thigh, who had linked his fingers with Juho's in return. The table hid their intertwined digits as they watched the mass slowly dissolve. It was a peaceful moment with Juho resting his head against Jaeyoon's shoulder. Jaeyoon saw out of the corner of his eyes how his partner was fighting to keep his eyes open. Clearly, the fatigue was catching up on him now. Jaeyoon smiled gently as he let Juho doze off a little. He gently stroked through his hair, pushing the few strands falling into Juho's face softly away. He pressed a chaste kiss on top of Juho's hair, resting his cheek against the younger's head for a few seconds. 

He picked up his phone, burying his nose into Juho's scarf once more as he checked his social media. Weird, he thought. Their coaches knew they were off practice the next day. Twenty missed calls. He was soon enlightened as to what had caused the calls; someone had clearly been following them for quite a while. Jaeyoon felt like time had stopped as he clicked onto the first picture of the photoset. 

It was a picture from their anniversary. Just how long were they following us? He thought as he looked around, trying to see anyone suspicious looking lurking around. The further he got into the thread, the more private the pictures got. The last picture was the most recent one, just from a few minutes ago. He looked around again, still trying to figure out who that person was. His rustling woke Juho up and before the younger could complain, Jaeyoon stood up and pulled him out of his seat. "Let's go. It's gotten colder, you'll catch a cold." Juho, mind hazed with sleep, just followed suit, missing the anxious edge in Jaeyoon's voice. 

"You're too fast, Yoonie. I can't keep up" Juho whined, indeed having fallen back quite a bit. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." He held his hand out for Juho, who gratefully took it. 

As soon as they had reached their apartment, Jaeyoon locked the door and pulled the curtains close. Juho didn't bother questioning as he was too tired. "I'm going to wash up and sleep." He announced, a yawn underlining his statement. Jaeyoon nodded, pecking the younger's nose before he disappeared in the bathroom. 

Jaeyoon's mind was churning and turning. He plopped onto the couch, tapping his foot frantically onto the floor. Had he been too rash, too bold? Is this what Juho had meant when he said all eyes were on them? What would happen now? How would everyone react? There was no way they could hide their relationship anymore, there were a dozen pictures of them kissing and going out. Just who was so keen to ruin their careers? Who was this person, following every step they took for months without anyone noticing? 

Suddenly, a horrifying thought settled in and Jaeyoon jumped up, running into their bedroom. He searched every nook and cranny, completely ignoring Juho's question as to what he was looking for. He was biting his fingernail anxiously as he continued to think where a camera could be hidden in. Warm, soft hands cupped Jaeyoon's cheeks, successfully pulling him out of his tunnel vision. The drowsiness had been replaced by worry. Before Juho could say anything, his phone rang loudly. "We will talk later." Juho had said to him before picking up. 

Jaeyoon could hear their coach yell through the phone although the speaker wasn't on. 

He would've laughed at how Juho held the phone away from his ear, he'd have laughed at Juho's expression, if Jaeyoon wouldn't have been so damn terrified.  

"Maybe you should check your social media every now and then, Juho!" 

He looked so confused. "I checked it this morning, what are you talking abou-" Jaeyoon held his hand out, waiting for Juho to hand the phone over. As soon as he held the device in his hand, Jaeyoon babbled on. Juho reached into Jaeyoon's pocket, fishing out his phone. Once he unlocked the screen, he was greeted with a dozen pictures. Juho was shocked, speechless. He took a few steps back in surprise, the colour draining out of his face. His legs gave in and he fell onto the soft bed, trying to process what he saw. 

Suddenly, the warning of the stranger hit him full force. He was terrified. No one knew about their relationship except for their coaches and that only, because they had barged into their hotel room one time. 

Not even their families knew, the two knew what their stances were on gay people. Articles were already pouring out; some supportive, some rather unsupportive. Some were neutral. 

Juho scrolled through the comments and though most of their supporters seemed to be fine with it, some weren't. "Disgusting." 

"Hope they retire and stop being a disgrace" He didn't notice how Jaeyoon had long sat next to him, clutching Juho's phone tightly. 

Instinctively, Juho reached out and tightly held Jaeyoon's hand. The gesture was welcomed and comforted the older a lot. 

Juho's head snapped towards his partner upon having the phone taken out of his hand by him. Before he could voice his question out, Jaeyoon answered it. "Coach said to rest and ignore. They'll handle it." Juho's tense shoulders seemed to relax at that, though it was just little. When their coaches said they'd handle it, the two knew they would. Although they were exhausted, the couple didn't move an inch- they sat at the edge of their bed in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Jaeyoon's eyebrows were furrowed in worry, his lips pursed, making him look extremely focused on his hands. Juho knew what was going on in his head, so he held his arms open. He still gave Jaeyoon the choice to turn around and head to bed but he knew better. Within seconds, the older was in his arms with his face buried into his chest. Juho rested his chin on top of Jaeyoon's head, holding him tightly. Jaeyoon didn't shed any tears, though the younger could feel how he was trying to keep himself composed. "It's not your fault, Yoonie." Upon hearing Juho's gentle voice, he started to shake a little. "Whoever did this was following each of our steps for months." Juho's hand wandered towards his lover's head, his fingers pushing softly through Jaeyoon's hair, while the other stayed on his back. Juho massaged his scalp lightly, trying to ease the tension out. And somehow, he had managed to do just that, as Jaeyoon had fallen asleep in his arms.

The next weeks were horrifying. They couldn't go anywhere without getting stared at, some going as far as physically attacking them. Although they didn't show it, the two were scared. Sports reporters were following them everywhere, trying to separate and corner them so they could get individual statements. Jaeyoon hadn't expected people to be that interested in figure skating, considering it wasn't nearly as popular as soccer, basketball or volleyball. They had managed to squeeze into the ballet studio they were practicing at during the summer, away from the prying cameras and targeting questions. 

Their ballet instructor had noticed the changes in her protigees, not necessarily good ones. They barely spoke anymore, seemed more withdrawn. She had never seen them this tense before. Even with major competitions coming up, the partners - couple - were relaxed and joking. She clapped her hands, twice, to gain their attention. Both simultaneously looked up, halting their warm up. They looked exhausted, fatigued. The worry seemed to have etched itself into their faces in the short span since they were forcibly outed. "I do not want to see you guys mope here, understood? You'll show them what you got, like you did with your last competition. Wipe the ground with them." She had hoped that, though her words were a little harsh, they'd listen. It didn't seem like it worked, she could tell. 

"You need to focus, Juho!" Her patience was running thin. It had been hours and he was failing the basics, something he has never done before. He looked stressed out, clearly angry with himself. The instructor took a hold of his leg and pulled it up, so his body was in a horizontal line with his leg. "Hold it, let go." Juho slowly loosened his grip on the barren. He was shaking, again, and their instructor couldn't help but snap at him. "How can you call yourself a pro-dancer if you can't even tune out something people you don't even know said about you?" 

She instantly regretted her choice of words, she knew that the two didn't choose their outing. Within a blink of an eye Jaeyoon was standing between Juho and her, towering over her. There was a dangerous glimmer in his eyes, something she hadn't seen before. "You have no right to talk to Jju like that." Juho put his hand on Jaeyoon's shoulder, pulling him back slightly. It seemed to calm the older down a little, though he barely backed away. "Stop it Yoonie. You know she's right." 

Jaeyoon gave him a hard stare, which Juho reciprocated. It made the ballet instructor uncomfortable, so she shied away slightly. 

After what felt like an eternity, Jaeyoon let out an exasperated "fine!" and turned away to fetch his drink. Once Jaeyoon was out of earshot, Juho smiled a small smile. "Don't take it amiss, please. He's more on the edge than I am because he takes the blame for the...situation." 

Juho had turned to watch Jaeyoon sitting on the ground, his body slightly slumped forward. There was longing in his eyes. 

"You don't have to pretend here, you know that right?" Juho didn't look away from his partner, simply mumbling a thank you before he dived for his own bottle. 

And just like that, they spent their days off ice; one day at the ballet studio, the other in the gym and yet another in a dance studio with their choreographer. Juho could practically see how Jaeyoon's heart was tainted with guilt, fear, so for his sake, Juho pretended to be fine. He swallowed his own angst so Jaeyoon could lean on him, even if it was subconsciously. 

The buzz around their relationship had, seemingly, died down but both knew that this was just the calm before another storm. The national championships had been announced just a few hours ago and although the two didn't need to participate, their coaches had signed them up. The couple had no clue what the plan of their trainers was, as they hadn't talked much to them about it. They had acted like nothing had changed - and in some way it truly hadn't. 

They were currently in the safety of their home, with Jaeyoon spooning Juho on the couch. Music was softly playing in the background, lulling the two into a gentle slumber. They had been exhausted from the excessive practicing. Juho had fallen asleep first, his even breaths soothing Jaeyoon's sore heart and mind. 

His leg was resting on top of Juho's and Jaeyoon buried his nose in his partner's neck. It didn't take much longer for Jaeyoon to be lulled into sleep, too. 

It was a rare sight to see Juho wake up before Jaeyoon. He had startled awake from a nightmare he was having. Juho's heart was pounding heavily. It was way past midnight and they were still squeezed on the couch, rain drumming loudly against the windows. Jaeyoon was still soundly sleeping, his regular huffs and puffs against Juho's neck were somewhat calming. He tightly held onto the older's hands, which were resting on Juho's chest, in an attempt to bring his heart rate down. 

The false pretense of being fine, of holding up well and not being affected by their outing, had drained Juho's energy. He was feeling empty most of the time and dived into practicing their new choreographies in an attempt to escape the numbness he was feeling. Their coaches had cornered him more than once about it, clearly worried about his absentmindedness. Juho just gave them a smile and assured them he was okay. 

He was not okay. Nights like these were just proof enough. Juho was scared; He hadn't heard of his family ever since their relationship had gotten public. He was scared they had abandoned him, he was scared that his friends had left him, too. Tears welled up, constricting his throat, at the mere thought of not being considered part of the family anymore. Upon feeling Jaeyoon stirr slightly, Juho pushed his thoughts away and forced his eyes close, waiting for sleep to take over his body again. 

Indeed, neither of their families had gotten back at them. Though at first it had dragged both of them down, they came to terms with it - as much as one could. The two had also gotten used to the occasional probing questions of strangers on the street or even their team mates. Just as they had gotten more comfortable in public again, now that they didn't have to hide anymore, their tormenter seemed to have seized the calm atmosphere and published stories about Juho's and Jaeyoon's old training partners. 

Most of them weren't true, the remaining ones taken deliberately out of context. The most ridiculous one was the claim of Jaeyoon having abused his former dance partner because she apparently refused to bend to his wills or Juho bullying his former co-skater to the point she ran out of the hall, crying. 

People who didn't know them, people who weren't there to watch them practice, had no reason to not believe those rumors. Again, their coaches quickly debunked those stories. If anyone knew the truth besides Juho and Jaeyoon, it was their trainers. 

Months had passed ever since the pictures had been released and the two had gotten used to it by then. Their coping mechanism was to skate and practice, tuning everything else out. 

The choreography had come together to an incredibly complex composition; The song they were dancing to for the short program was an upbeat composition by Vivaldi. Juho was reminded of the ups and downs in their career, somehow. 

"Fuck this!" He yelled out in frustration, kicking the ice with the blade. Juho was struggling with the last step sequence. He cursed his trainer for expecting him to master a hell sent step sequence. Jaeyoon watched him with worry, fearing Juho would break his legs. It's not like he wasn't struggling, either. "Can't we change this to something easier? We look like flailing chickens." 

She rolled her eyes. "No. This is the final sequence. It won't be changed. You guys had worse choreographies, just stay focused." Juho was frustrated. He had never been a slow learner, so having trouble with making the movements look fluid irked him to no end. "Maybe we should take a break." Jaeyoon offered, to which he got no reply from Juho. Their coach left them alone, clearly welcoming the idea. 

Juho stumbled over his own feet before Jaeyoon caught him. He was sweating profusely. The older pulled his sleeve over his hand and wiped it away. "We've been at the step sequence for hours now. It's time to take a break." He knew that Juho was stubborn, he knew he wouldn't stop practicing until he was satisfied, so Jaeyoon didn't give him the choice to decline. The taller silently followed him out of the rink. They sat on one of the benches, away from their teammates. 

It was silent for a while, with Jaeyoon resting his hand on Juho's thigh. "Juho." 

Said man looked up and Jaeyoon had caught him off guard- he had leaned in, capturing Juho's lips in a soft and slow kiss. It was like he was coaxing the stiffness out of him. Just a split second later, the younger had reciprocated the sweet kiss, lazily wrapping his arms around his neck. As quick as it had come, as fast Juho had broken it. He buried his nose in the crook of Jaeyoon's neck, hiding his face. Jaeyoon's hands wandered from Juho's head down to the small of his back, rubbing soothing circles onto the fabric. 

"I know you've been holding back with your feelings for the sake of mine." Jaeyoon whispered, pressing a chaste kiss against the shell of his partner's ear. He felt the younger stiffen a little before he continued. "You're a good person, Juho, but please don't push me away." 

Jaeyoon pulled away, cupping Juho’s face as he stared into his eyes with worry. For a fleeting second, he saw the fear and anguish in his partner’s dark orbs. Juho closed his eyes and smiled, leaning into Jaeyoon’s hand slightly. “I’m not pushing you away.” He pressed a quick peck on Jaeyoon’s palm before getting up and stretching his arms. Jaeyoon let out a sigh as he followed his partner back onto the rink. 

And just like that, they had spent the remaining months with even stricter work out plans and practice. The exhaustion was written on their faces and frankly spoken, their coaches worried for them a lot. 

“Perhaps we should split them after this championship.” They were sitting on a bench, watching the two skate their free program with heavy limbs. “If we do that now, the public will talk. Their fans will be disappointed and if anything, they’ll both quit skating.” She let out with her arms crossed. “Juho your free leg is too sloppy!” She yelled out before she shifted her attention to her co-worker again. “I know that, too. Have you not noticed the way both of them changed, especially Juho?” They heard said skater mutter a belated “my free leg is not sloppy.” Both trainers exchanged a glance before letting out a chuckle. “Of course I did. He’s more silent and gets startled faster than usual. He used to be someone who rarely lost his cool no matter how complex the choreography was but lately-” She cut herself off as both jumped up upon seeing Jaeyoon on the ice, crawling towards his partner. Juho was lying face flat on the cold ground, not moving an inch for a few seconds. The entire team had by then crowded around them, with the trainers kneeling besides the two. Jaeyoon had failed to catch the younger after throwing him up for the twist, resulting in Juho unfortunately falling straight on to the ice. The guilt practically radiated off the older, suffocating everyone nearby. Juho groaned silently as he tried to move; Jaeyoon tried to help him up but the other just pushed his hands away without sparing him a look. Instead, their coaches pulled him up and pressed a tissue under his bleeding nose. "You only had one job, Jaeyoon!" He had hissed out in pain.

The noise in the hall had died down instantly, only the scratching of Juho’s blades echoing mockingly through the rink. Jaeyoon’s eyes filled with tears as he bit his lips, blaming himself for Juho’s bleeding nose. He attempted to skate after them but the remaining trainer held him back. “Maybe it’s for the best if you go home for today, Yoonie.” Her voice was gentle and the hand on his shoulder was more of a motherly gesture than anything else. Jaeyoon listened, he felt like he had no right to argue anyway. He was just a split second too late and had caused his partner to fall, to injure him. When Juho hadn’t moved for a full minute, Jaeyoon had been scared he was actually dead; the thought alone made his heart skip several beats. The horrifying seconds of his fall kept replaying in Jaeyoon’s mind. He was sitting in the living room, waiting for Juho’s return anxiously. 

Had it been the exhaustion? Had it been because he was sleeping less the closer the competition got? Had it been because they had been at practice for over twelve hours? Or was it because he had been unfocused? Jaeyoon’s mind was turning and churning. Oh god, he thought. What if Juho got seriously hurt? He bit his bottom lip hard, drawing blood from them. His eyebrows were drawn together in worry and he had been lost in his thoughts, not hearing the door open and close. 

Juho was standing at the door to the living room, watching Jaeyoon’s hunched form. He felt bad for pushing his partner away but Juho had been angry; Not with Jaeyoon’s mistake but with himself, with his coaches for giving them such a strenuous sequence and with the entire situation itself. He knew Jaeyoon would’ve never dropped him on purpose. Seeing the older look so defeated and guilty broke his heart but he couldn’t seem to bring himself to assure his partner that it was okay. Juho was tired, strained; He was anxious and angry and back at the training rink, letting his pent up feelings out on Jaeyoon seemed to be the only right thing to do. Looking back, the young skater knew he was in the wrong for that. 

Jaeyoon snapped out of his thoughts as soon as he noticed a shadow slowly move closer towards him. When he looked up, he saw Juho’s bruised face. He let out an involuntary, silent gasp. It didn’t take long before he shot up from his spot and stared at Juho’s nose with worry. Juho’s face was swollen, his nose crooked. Red and blue bruises blossomed from his nose outwards towards the sides of his face and his eyes were swollen and bloodshot. Before he could apologise for his behaviour at the rink, Jaeyoon started shedding tears. “I’m so sorry, Juho. I’m so sorry, please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me, I didn’t mean to- I didn’t mean to- I was too reckless- I’m so sorry. Please, please don’t go-” If Juho could, he’d have ripped his eyes wide open. They were too swollen for that, though, so he chose to tightly embrace the sobbing man. Jaeyoon let out a surprised sob upon his face being buried in the crook of Juho’s neck. Juho wasn’t sure if Jaeyoon was still talking about dropping him. 

“It’s okay, Yoonie. I’m the one who should be apologising, not you.” He felt the older shake his head weakly against his neck. “I shouldn’t have let my pent up frustration out on you. You were just trying to help.” He tightened his hold on the older, signalling him that he didn’t want to hear any protest from Jaeyoon. 

“What did the doctors say?” They were lying on their bed, under the blankets, snuggled close and facing each other. It had taken Jaeyoon several minutes to calm down after his breakdown and Juho had just, like always, held him silently. Perhaps having his hair played with or feeling the gentle rubs on his back had helped speed up the process. "It's broken. They said I need surgery for it to get fixed." Juho was intently watching Jaeyoon's face, gently pushing a strand of his hair out of his face. "When?" His voice was meek and he had casted his eyes down, his long lashes fanning against Juho's fingers. "In two days." Before Jaeyoon could ask further, the younger continued. "It's going to take about two to three weeks after that." At that, Jaeyoon's eyes shot up to him. "But the championship-" He smiled weakly, his face hurt.

 "I know, it's going to be fine."

It had been over a week since the surgery and Juho's nose looked fine; if one ignored the fading bruises and cast on his nose. The swelling had been gone for a few days now and Juho was back to slowly easing himself into training. The days after surgery had been absolute hell. He couldn't breathe through his nose, as it had been stuffed with tamponades and it was painful. 

"Are you sure you can train again?" Jaeyoon stared at him, worried and sceptical at the same time. Juho just gave him both thumbs up and started warming up. The two had been too lost in their own world to follow up on the twitter account that had continuously posted defaming rumours about them. They had completely forgotten about them, actually, ever since the public had finally come to the conclusion that neither Jaeyoon nor Juho were capable of hurting their former partners in any way. Perhaps the reason for the change of heart of the public had been their coaches and teammates, who had all vowed for their integrity. 

Jaeyoon had come to a stop next to Juho, getting in position to start their short program's training. Before the music started, Juho pulled him close, luring him into a deep kiss. As soon as the first beats dropped, Juho was back to his starting position, leaving a completely taken aback Jaeyoon behind. Each twist, each turn, each jump shot an extra wave of pain through Juho's body but he ignored it. He wanted to deliver a perfect performance. He wanted people to see that they were made for each other, that as long as Jaeyoon and him were together, no one could stop them. Just like that, the two were lost in the beat of the music, feeling the beat pulse through their blood system. 

As soon as the music stopped, they turned to look at their coaches. To see both of them look at the couple with tears in their eyes, to see them speechless, was something new. They always had something to nag about, they always had something to say. "That- that was beautiful. It was perfect." 

The couple shared a look before Jaeyoon rested his hand on Juho's back. "You should go try the costumes on and skate again. If we need to change something, now's the time." She had ushered them towards the lounge, making her way slowly after them. She didn't intend to walk in on them sucking each other's faces off like in the hotel room a few years ago. 

"You won't believe who is behind outing them." She had never seen her co-trainer be that angry, though she soon came to understand why. "What should we do now? Clearly, this won't end until we take action." Both watched the couple slowly retreat towards the lounge, silently talking among themselves. Whatever Jaeyoon had said, it had earned him a punch against his biceps. "Maybe letting them talk things out will change her mind?" The two trainers knew that it wouldn't change anything. 

Jaeyoon as well as Juho were completely unaware of what problem their coaches were going through. Instead, they stared at their respective costumes in awe. They probably were the most beautiful creations they ever were allowed to wear. Juho's fingers ghosted over the tediously sewed shirt. The left sleeve faded from a dark gray into a black colour, studded with rhinestones ranging from white to black; the right sleeve was a dark blue velvet fabric. It followed along his shoulder down to his hips, though it was an asymmetrical cut. The left sleeve was attached to skin coloured net. Onto the velvet fabric was sewn chiffon, riffled in to resemble untamed waves. The fabric was dyed in a gradient from dark blue to baby blue to white, studded with rhinestones from black to white. The asymmetrical cut ended at his hips though the rhinestones followed its cut to his midtigh. Next to the one-piece were lying a pair of gloves, one black and the other in the same shade as the right sleeve. There was somewhat like a scarf sewn to his left shoulder, draping across his back and ending a little underneath his left armpit. The rhinestones took shape of waves hitting the shore, stretching across his left arm. Juho absolutely loved the way it looked on the mannequin. 

While Juho's costume was kept in the same colour but different hues, Jaeyoon's was ranging from white over turquoise to dark blue to black. It was the same fabric, though both of his sleeves were chiffon instead of net and his chest wasn't as exposed as Juho's was. Instead of an asymmetrical cut, his shirt was right above his hips, white rhinestones adorning the hem of it irregularly, giving it a look of the same waves hitting a shore albeit less wild. The left side of the shirt's collar was studded with rhinestones, the riffled chiffon hiding the rest of it successfully. The sleeves were a gradient of white flowing into a light turquoise and navy blue. His gloves were both kept in the same dark blue as Juho's darkest shirt colour, though big gems were stitched around the hem of the gloves. His costume had the same scarf as Juho's, sewn the exact same way. He couldn't wait to wear his costume. He couldn't wait to see Juho in his. And he couldn't wait to skate in them. 

Jaeyoon was speechless. Juho looked absolutely ethereal in his costume. He couldn't help but stare in awe, his mouth slightly ajar as his eyes wandered over his partner's body, up and down and up again. Juho's shoulder long black hair rounded off the entire look, even with his hair being lazily tied up into a half bun. Jaeyoon didn't look bad himself; his hard training had paid off with strong, defined muscles. The costume flattered them even more.

As soon as they got back down, their coaches had stopped talking whatever they were heatedly discussing about. Clearly, the two were taken aback with how incredibly beautiful the couple looked in the costumes. Before they could say anything, the two jumped into the ice and gestured for the music to start. They felt powerful, beautiful- graceful and they made sure to let everyone know. The fabric wasn't heavy on their skins and when it came to their last twist, everyone held their breathes. Jaeyoon held onto Juho's waist, who in return tightly held onto his wrists. The younger stemmed his toe pick into the ice and jumped, Jaeyoon assisting him to get higher; Then Juho extended one leg and draped the other around it, twirling three times in the air before letting himself gracefully fall back, with Jaeyoon just guiding his angled body back onto the ice. The two were slowly tiring out, though all that was left was a pair spin and the complicated step sequence. And just like that, the music had ended and Juho was half lying in Jaeyoon's arms. The couple breathed heavily as the entire team applauded them. 

Just three days were left for the nationals to start and Juho was back to his old self. Mastering the complex and technically difficult choreography perfectly had pulled him back up. The cast had been replaced with a new one and Juho had asked for one fitting his skin colour. If he had to wear it while skating, he might as well try to look good with it.

 "We need to talk to you guys, it's about the person who's been trying to ruin your careers the past months." 

Jaeyoon had been filling both his and Juho's bottle with water while the younger was bandaging his bruised ankle. Both looked up from what they were doing, curiosity mixed with worry. "This might be somewhat of a shock for you guys, especially you Juho, but.." There was a short pause before their coach continued. "Your previous skating partner hired someone to stalk you guys, Juho. She also tried to get you attacked by that person but it seems like when they were out to do that, you two were in a too crowded spot." Jaeyoon first blinked in confusion before he shifted his gaze to Juho, who had dropped the bandage in his hand to stare at the two in front of him. "What? Why would she do that?" When he received no answer, he continued. "I mean, we had our differences but I don't think she would ever do something like that. It must be a mistake? Right?" Jaeyoon's heart broke at the sight of his lover's upset face. "We're pretty sure it is her. She didn't like you ditching her for Jaeyoon-" Juho jumped up in exasperation. "I didn't ditch her! She always left right before training ended and she skipped several competitions!" His face was red from Anger. "Juho, calm down. I'm sure we all know that-" Jaeyoon stepped closer to Juho, draping his arm around his hip. "What should we do now? Let her do whatever she wants?" 

"Don't worry. I've already reported her to the ISU." Juho stared at her in shock. "Reported?" Jaeyoon couldn't help but give Juho a baffled look. He couldn't understand why he suddenly was against his ex-partner being reported for attempting to ruin their lives. "Yes. Reported. I confronted her, hoping she would show some remorse and tell the truth. You know, between women. Though she spilled everything, she wasn't sorry at all. She said, and I quote 'He ruined my career and left me behind with failures who just hindered my growth while he went ahead and picked someone who wasn't even worth his talent. Juho is a moron to think he could run away and ditch me after using me.' Her words." 

Juho just stared at the two in shock, shoulders tense from restraining himself once again. Jaeyoon worried that at this point, Juho was going to get a heart attack. 

"She can't pin this on me when she's been the one not investing into her career. She has no right to ruin Jaeyoon's life." Said man squeezed his hip lightly. "Neither has she a right to ruin yours, Juho. She's already done enough damage so what Coach Kim did was the right thing." Juho balled his hand into a fist, digging his nails into his palm. Hadn't it been for Jaeyoon's hand on his hip, though it was light and he could break free anytime, Juho was sure he'd have rushed out. "Turn your anger into energy, Juho. Show her and anyone who doubted you for a second what you're made of." 

And that's exactly what he did. 

Jaeyoon had fallen back slightly to walk with coach Kim. He wanted to know why she decided to tell them who had caused them the most challenging and terrible months of their lives. To that, the coach just said "Because you deserved to know. She's going to be at the nationals, too. God knows what she'd have pulled." Jaeyoon couldn't argue against that. 

It was the day before the competition and Juho seemed to be more on edge than usual. Jaeyoon assumed that it was because of his ex-partner literally trying to get him handicapped as a payback. He couldn't blame Juho, so he did his best to distract the other. 

Jaeyoon had ended up forcing Juho to go out with him and take a long walk through the city. Their fingers were lightly intertwined, arms touching. It was autumn, winter approaching fast. The trees slowly lost their golden coloured leaves. Juho halted in his tracks, crouching down to pick a chestnut up.

"Look, it's a heart!" The excited glimmer in his eyes conured a warm smile on Jaeyoon's face. Jaeyoon brought his hand up and gently touched the corner of Juho's mouth before cupping his cheek entirely. Juho watched Jaeyoon with curious eyes, letting out a soft, tinkling laugh when the older pecked the mole on his nose. "You're absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful, Juho." Jaeyoon's thumb glides over his cheek and Juho's free fingers circled around Jaeyoon's wrist. Before Jaeyoon could act on his desire to press a chaste kiss onto the younger's forehead, Juho beat him to it. He pulled the older closer and let go of his wrist and hand, cupping his face with both hands and pressing his lips softly against his forehead. Jaeyoon savoured the warmth radiating off Juho's body and lips, closing his eyes before the younger pulled away. The bright smile Jaeyoon gave him warmed Juho up from the inside. 

"Let's show them who they're up against, Jju!" 

They made their way back home way past midnight. Some might have said that it wasn't a good idea but Juho didn't care. He had a fun time and finally managed to relax. With exhaustion finally catching up with him, he fell asleep in Jaeyoon's arms. It was the first time in months Junk had slept without any nightmare or without waking up every two hours. 

Nationals started at around eight am. Juho and Jaeyoon were the last to perform in the second group. They watched each of the competitors intently, pleased to know that none of them were close to their level. Of course, the couple was swarmed by reporters and fans alike. The two were already in their costumes, though their training suits covered them up well. 

Neither Jaeyoon nor Juho remembered the nationals to be this frequented. "It's because you two are here." Their coach had said. Indeed, Juho saw his ex-dance partner. She was glaring daggers at him and if looks could kill, he was sure he'd be dead by now. As the second group was asked to get onto the ice for the introductory round, she and her partner skated up to Jaeyoon and Juho. She was too close to Juho for Jaeyoon's liking, though he didn't want to make an unnecessary scene. 

"Juho, it's been a while. You look good." Her friendly words were dripping with venom. The young skater just blinked at her before letting out a "Thank you, you too." Her smile was sharp and she eyed Jaeyoon up and down. "With a dude, huh? That's very… weird. Even for you, Juju." Another sickly sweet smile before she skated off as the announcer spoke. 

As soon as Jaeyoon's and Juho's names were dropped, almost the entire hall erupted in applause and cheers. It was a strong contrast against the timid claps the other contestants got. Juho almost felt bad. Almost. He remembered the comments about him and Jaeyoon, he remembered how some strangers decided to verbally attack him on the streets. 

It was soon their turn and the crowd was wild. As soon as the two stepped out of their trainings suits, handing each trainer one, the entire hall let out a simultaneous "Wow!" at their costumes. Jaeyoon tightly held onto Juho's hand as they skated towards the center of the rink, warming up a little with Juho doing a jump and Jaeyoon skating a circle around Juho. 

They got in position and that was the cue for the music to start. Juho got lost in the furiously struck violin strings echoing through the hall, letting his body be guided by the music. Halfway through, he caught the eye of his ex-dance partner. It was just for a split second but it was enough for him to see how angry she looked at their incredibly difficult yet perfectly performed choreography. 

Perhaps their choreographer had lost their mind when they decided to add the hardest twists and lifts to the end of their dance, perhaps they just wanted to see if the couple could pull it off. Jaeyoon's entire body was screaming for him to stop, the training two days ago seemingly having left him more sore than he had expected.   

It was the last twist, the same twist that had ended up with Juho's face planted on the ice because Jaeyoon had not been able to guide his body. 

Images of Juho's unmoving body flashed before his eyes and his body seemed to tremble ever so slightly. It wasn't visible for anyone but Juho could feel the tremor when his back was pressed into Jaeyoon's chest for the camel spin. Juho gently squeezed Jaeyoon's hand as they skated backwards, reassuring the older that everything was going to be fine and Jaeyoon believed him. He rested his hands on Juho's hips while they skated backwards. Juho held onto Jaeyoon's wrists, scratching the ice with his toe-pick before he took off one with one foot into a high jump and Jaeyoon assisting him to reach just a tiny bit higher, his eyes never leaving Juho's angled, rotating form. Jaeyoon's arms were by his side, ready to shoot up to help Juho land safely while the younger rotated with his legs split. He hadn't done a split twist in quite a long time and their coaches were worried that he'd underrotate; he didn't. Indeed, he had managed to do a quadruple Lutz and Jaeyoon's arms shot up to hold onto Juho's waist as he gracefully landed on the back outside of his blade on the ice. The crowd's applause satisfied the coachesy though coach Kim clearly wasn't all too happy with the risk Juho took by turning the triple lutz into a quadruple. They had reached the step sequence, pushing each other over their own limits by being close to one other, by feeling the heat from the dancing radiate rub off to each of them. 

Then, Jaeyoon twisted his torso slightly, catching Juho's falling body. They were facing each other, Jaeyoon looking down and Juho up to him. The music ended and the two heavily breathed as once again the entire hall broke out into applause and cheers. 

Jaeyoon pulled Juho up into a standing position again, smiling brightly at his partner, who returned the equally huge grin. Suddenly, all their worries had been washed down the drain. Jaeyoon held Juho's face, leaning in and kissing him, savouring the short moment of bliss and completely forgetting that they were still on the ice. Juho reciprocated the kiss just as sweetly. Their moment was broken by loud whistles, causing a light shade of red creeping up the couples face. They made a run for the kiss and cry, disappearing with their coaches. While they waited for their points, their coaches nagged their ears off. "That was dangerous! Jaeyoon, don't hesitate like that ever again. Juho! What were you thinking, changing the triple to a quadruple! You know you might not get any points for this twist, right?" The two tuned out both their coaches, completely lost in the excitement they felt after completing their dance without a single mistake. And once the points were announced, their coaches stopped their nagging. If it had been the olympics, they'd have broken the olympic record. They had set a new national high score and with that, secured their place in the finals. 

As for Juho's ex-dance partner, the ISU had disqualified and banned her for life from participating in any ice-skating event. While Juho felt bad, Jawyoon reminded him of what she had pulled. "And judging from her performance at the nationals, she wasn't good anyway." Jawyoon had remarked.

Now that the national championship was over, with Jaeyoon and Juho winning each round first place, they had qualified for the Grand Prix Final of Pair Skating. Their previous scores and titles clearly had played a huge factor for their qualifying. And perhaps their fans stubbornness a little, too. 

Juho was currently in the bathroom, separating their laundry by color. Jaeyoon picked up a paper and scribbled something onto it and confidently walked up to his partner. He crouched in front of him, gaining Juho's attention. He handed him the paper he had just written on and watched his lover's face intently. 

Juho looked up at him, unfazed and reached for the pen he was still holding. He scribbled for a few seconds and pushed the paper back into Jaeyoon's hands, who was wriggling his eyebrows with a smile. 

Juho had scratched Jaeyoon's writing of To Do List: You and replaced it with To Do: The dishes. Jaeyoon looked up with a pout and Juho just gave him a smug smile before sending him a flying kiss. "Meanie!" Jaeyoon fake cried out, getting up to indeed do the dishes. 

Juho just smiled while shaking his head gently. He absolutely adored Jaeyoon.