Archive of Our Own

Somehow, the two of you would always find yourself in a situation like this.

Jaehyun doesn’t know what it is. But it’s like he’s always hungry for you, although hunger doesn’t seem like a plentiful enough word for what you guys do. Like your presence isn’t just that… a presence but a pull. Like your mere scent is the Pied Piper’s tune that hypnotizes him and before he knows it, he is all over you. He thinks you feel the same. Why else would you be pressed up into him, panting a hypnotic rhythm in his ear while his hand strums into your warm desire?

“Fuck, I want you bad.” He whispers at you as if his hands weren’t conveying the message convincingly enough. So he puts them to more work, feeling your breasts over your button down shirt, pulling you closer into him till there is no gap left between your back and his chest. 

“Jaehyun, we shouldn’t.” you say weakly, but it’s not a protest as much as it is an erotic declaration. Of course you shouldn’t. Jaehyun knows it is foolish to be doing this here, in an editing room in the middle of a work shift. Of all the places you had sneaked around in before, this is perhaps the most high-risk.

Jaehyun had locked the door, at least. But was that really the most intelligent thing to do? He didn’t know. What if someone knocks? He would have to open the door and whoever enters would find you there with him. But what if he keeps it unlocked? Then whoever enters would find you there with him in a very compromising position. In the grand scheme of things, he’d much rather have the time to put you both in a more respectable stance before you were walked in on.

But he doesn’t think it would do him a fat load of good. He was somehow always hard around you. Like you were both in heat and his body betrayed his mind every single time. He would follow you like a moth to a flame, drag you to the first place he could find to sneak you away and have at you. And you would have at him back, clawing at him till he could feel you under his skin, till you were both losing yourself in throes of passion which was heightened by the fact that you shouldn’t be doing this. It was like you had said. 

“I’ve been wanting you all day. I can’t stop.” Jaehyun groans and his hand in your pants is getting more needy, two fingers pushing into you and pumping because he wants you to think that this is a good idea. That this is the best idea ever. 

“Oh, fuck…” you gasp, your head falling back on his shoulder, your hand reaching around to grab at the hair on the nape of his neck. His hand on your breasts is squeezing now, kneading at you and he grinds his horny need into you. His eyes are closed and he’s moaning with you when he says,

“Oh, baby, I wanna fuck you right here.” He’s gone, he knows he’s lost his mind, but he’d been hard all day to the thought of you. He was hard in the car when his manager drove him here. He was hard when he tried to record a song. He was hard when the producers told him that he had a different energy today. And by God, he was hard when you walked in because he hadn’t expected to see you. For a moment, he had thought that he was so sex-crazed that his wanktasies had turned to hallucinations. But you had captured his lips with yours the moment the two of you were alone and all his worries had evaporated.

“Here?” your eyes dart to the door and your ears peel to the sounds of other people right outside. 

“Yes, here. I want you like crazy, baby.” He’s pulling at the waistband of your pants now, because you haven’t said no and he’s losing his fucking mind. You sense it and fuck, it thrills you.

“Do you have a condom?” you ask him, giving in because holy, wouldn’t it be the hottest thing ever to be fucked in a place of work, right behind the backs of the people who would put your heads on a platter if you were found out?

Jaehyun groans, throwing his head back and for a moment; his hands halt their ministrations. He didn’t have a condom. Fuck, he hadn’t expected to see you today of all days, here of all places. And while he always had one on him because he’d been in a rut ever since he met you… that rut had caused his stash to run out. He hadn’t had the chance to restock and now here you were. Squirming in his arms, hypnotising him with your scent, inviting him to paradise. Fuck. His. Life.

But if he doesn’t get to fuck you today, he would go crazy, that much he knew and Jaehyun didn’t appreciate being blue-balled for very long. “Baby…” he whines, his hands grabbing at you again, his lips at your neck “... can I please fuck you like this, just this once? I need you so fucking bad.” He rolls his hips into your back as if to help his point across.

You don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the way he’s whining so fucking needily. Maybe it’s the dim lighting in this cramped space that’s clouding your better judgement. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re a couple of young, horny people in heat, grinding on each other in the workplace like degenerates. But you find yourself saying yes, despite every cell in your right mind telling you that it’s a bad idea.

You grab at his hair to get him to focus, just for a moment “If you come inside me, I’ll cut your cock off.” you warn. 

He doesn’t need a second longer because he’s pulling your panties down before you change your mind and zipping himself open. If you had wanted him to focus, you did it the wrong way, because fuck, he is so high strung right now that he thinks he might come from you pulling on his hair, threatening him with words that make his cock twitch. He needs to be inside you now.

So he aligns himself to you, holding his cock with one hand and your waist with the other and he finally eases himself in, letting out a long exhale of relief as his aching length finally sinks into your warmth. 

“Ahhhh, fuckkk!” he groans out because it feels so fucking good to put his cock to use after an entire day of being hard and not being able to do anything about it. It’s like sinking into a hot bath after you've been freezing in the cold for too long. Or finally finding the exact point to an itch that had been bothering you for hours. 

He straightens up to absorb the feeling as he whimpers in his relief and you steady yourself, placing your hand on a filing cabinet that is the only witness to your reckless dissolution. And then his arm snakes around the middle of your chest and the other around your waist; he pulls you into himself and begins fucking you like he had been fantasizing about the entire day. His head finds home on your shoulder and he’s moaning into your ear.

You’re two scoundrels, fucking each other standing up in a small editing room while people that could get you in trouble are right outside. But that just makes you reach your arm back and dig your fingertips into his hips even more. It just makes you reach out to his lips, stroke your thumb across it as you try to even out your own breaths.

“Shh… easy… we can’t get caught…” you remind him because his moans have turned to whines and he’s ramming into you and he’s gasping. He’s in a rut, he’s barely even present but his hand comes to your clit, rubbing too fast.

“I’m gonna need you to come for me, baby, because I can’t go on much longer.” he moans and you think fuck, it is much too soon. But his voice is desperate and you know you don’t have much time left so you bring your mind to the feeling of his hand rubbing your nub and you concentrate on all that is unholy.

Jaehyun’s cock, inside of you--bare, for the very time. Fuck yes, it gets you going. Yes, it felt good to squeeze around him skin to skin, it felt so fucking illicit, but fuckkk, it got you going.

“Come for me, baby, please.” he’s encouraging, no begging you in your ear, so you bring your mind back. Concentrate, you tell yourself and think of more dirty thoughts.

Jaehyun’s fingers on your clit. Strumming so urgently that you’re seeing stars. 

“Come for me, baby...”

Jaehyun arm around your belly, squeezing, directing all your desires to your core.

“Come for me…” 

Jaehyun’s breath, hot on your neck, helpless, erratic. 

“Come for me, please…”

Jaehyun’s deep voice and how it’s trembling in your ear. The fact that you’re making him tremble…

“Baby, please…”

The people outside, unassuming to your reckless fornication. People you both work for. People who brought you here for business. People who think you’re at work. 

People who could walk in any time and watch you being taken from behind. 

“Oh, baby…” you grab at his wrist to make him stop rubbing at you as you come apart on his cock and he can’t hold on much longer so he pulls out with a cry and you’re on your knees in no time, taking him in your mouth, pumping him, coaxing his release out of him and in your mouth. 

Jaehyun’s shoulders are against the filing cabinet, making it knock against the wall, his head is falling back, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he comes, your name on his lips.

You swallow his load, standing up to smile, giving him no chance to react as you kiss him with his salinity fresh on your tongue. You pull away but he leans in again, wanting to kiss you in gratitude now.

He helps you fix your clothes so you look less fucked out. His hands linger on your hips as you fix your bra under your top, but there’s not much you can do about how he’s crumpled the fabric of your shirt. Jaehyun had the aggression of a teenaged boy touching a girl for the first time. But you didn’t mind. It felt nice to be wanted like that.

“I think I’m addicted to you.” he confesses and you grin.

“Maybe I should stop crossing your path so you could sober up.” you tease him, tucking your shirt back in to make yourself look presentable enough to head back out. 

He smirks and somehow his eyes are lustful again as they take in your body line. You walk up to him, peck him on the lips and tap his cheek twice with your fingers.

“Stop it. Now go and clear the people away so I can sneak out.” you demand. You might be overthinking but now that your blood isn’t running hot in your veins, you think about how stupid you were being. You start dousing perfume onto yourself and digging into your purse for some gum, as if people would smell the sex on you when you walked out.

“When will I see you again?” Jaehyun asks. Today had been torture. He had spent the entire day hard as fucking nails, fantasizing about having you in every possible position his mind could come up with. He stops himself from revisiting some of those unfulfilled fantasies before he got hard again.

“I don’t know.” you say as you sling your purse over your shoulder “You’ll see me when you see me, I guess.”

Jaehyun looks up and leans in once again to kiss you. “Can I have your number this time?” he asks shamelessly.

You kiss him back and say “Not a chance. Now go before someone actually walks in.”

Jaehyun sighs at yet another failed attempt and finally gets out to trick the people into grabbing a cup of coffee, giving you the chance to sneak out and be about your way.

You keep meeting like this over the next few weeks and truth be told, both of you are a little surprised that you haven't been caught yet. 

Jaehyun had a feeling someone would walk in while you were giving him head in the men’s room, but you’d gotten away with it. He could’ve sworn he felt someone peak in when he was on his knees with his head under your skirt in the storage closet. You had undeniably almost gotten busted when Jaehyun was fucking you in the back of your car in the parking lot. And you two were pretty sure some people had stopped talking to listen in on you whilst Jaehyun was balls deep in you in the changing room. 

Even right now, when Jaehyun is kissing you without inhibition at a stupid workplace blacklight party, he’s pretty sure all it would take is for someone to accidentally flip the switch on the normal lights and you’d be busted. Your hands are now in his back pocket as you fool about, peaking into every room on the floor; you hit the jackpot when you find yourselves a photobooth. It’s just as well that the machine is broken and is placed in the old break room because people aren’t paying any mind to it. But in exchange, you are only hidden by a thin veil of fabric. 

You sit on top of Jaehyun as he pushes his tongue inside your mouth, swirling it around, his hands finding purchase on your ass. He squeezes your flesh, like he was trying to grip as much of it as he possibly could and now his lips are at your breasts. He undos the top buttons of your blouse then presses his lips over your bra, where your nipples might be. 

“Fuck me, Jaehyun.” you breathe in his ear and he looks up at you, eyes wide. Even with the strange, dim light hiding most of his features, you still see the surprise on his handsome face.

“Baby…” he kisses at your jawline “Too risky.” he says with a finality that irritates you. You grind your ass on him cruelly and he hisses, his fingertips digging into you.

“But I’m so horny for you, baby.” you tell him crassly, knowing the effect it has on him. You’d never known Jaehyun to be the saintly kind and you were going to kill him if this was the moment he’d chosen to be devout.

“Y/N, your boss is right outside.” he reminds you and if you’d heard him right, you had picked up subtle tones of shock in his voice.

You grind yourself on his thighs, rolling your hips sensually all the way up to his hardness, hands cupping the sides of his neck “That’s why you should make it hard and fast.”

“Fuck…” Jaehyun watches as you hump him. His hands run down your sides and then he closes his eyes to the sensation. Before he knows it, his body is shaking and he knows that if he doesn’t do something quick, he’d cream his pants and he wasn’t sure how kindly you’d react to that accident. 

So he grits his teeth and unzips himself, but he’s gone because fuck, where in the world is his hand-eye coordination? You watch him fumble and take him in your hand instead and start pumping him.

“Condom?” you ask curtly.

“Pocket.” he replies because he’s straining his voice from trying to stay quiet to the painful, throbbing sensation between his legs.

You reach into his pocket and pull out the foil you need and roll it onto him. Like a crazed nympho, you grab his cock and start pushing it up your pussy, your panties and skirt be damned. When you’ve gotten him where you wanted him, you tug on his hair and bring your lips close to his.

“Fuck me.” you demand into his mouth and it unleashes something in him because now he grabs your hair at the base of your skull and starts fucking up into you, drawing a surprised moan out of you. 

He clamps his other hand over your mouth and you grip at his shirt, both of you lost in the decadent sensation of his cock inside of you while you’re in this photobooth, clutching at each other. The sounds of the party and the music seem to be moving into the background and thrumming in your veins at the same time, clouding your better judgement. You’re pretty sure Jaehyun has never fucked you so good because he’s pumping up into you till he’s grunting in your ear. Your own cries are muffling into his hand and when it’s too much, you wrap your hands around him and mewl into his neck instead as you find your release.

The sound of a door opening breaks through the sound of the music. You both startle, heads snapping in the direction of the disturbance. Jaheyun grabs your waist, as if to pry you off but you hold him down by the shoulders.

“Don’t stop.” you barely whisper into his ear and he nods. Like an inflamed little devil, gently coaxing, blinding, seducing him to sin. You grin at his shocked expression as you begin moving on him, squeezing yourself on his hardness on the upstrokes. You hear some shuffling of feet, like someone’s getting closer. Jaehyun’s fingers dig into your waist and you feel his anxiety but it makes you swirl your hips even more decadently. You watch as his head falls back into the wall, his eyes warning you that he’s about to come apart. 

So you clamp your hand over his mouth now and nibble at his earlobe. “Do it.” you words have come out like a breath but Jaehyun’s eyes are squeezed shut as his body twitches and his forehead presses into your shoulder, his hands wrapping tight around you as he empties himself inside of you. If he’s made a sound, it is masked over the swish of the door being shut.

You watch him as he gets his breath back and you laugh silently, the surge of what you’ve done exciting you beyond belief. Jaehyun smiles but looks off into space as if reality is slowly but surely hitting him.

You slide off of him and begin buttoning yourself up, still intoxicated by your orgasm and the thrill of almost getting caught. You’re grinning wide, but you soon realize that Jaehyun is not sharing in your euphoria. He’s ridding himself of the condom, seemingly lost in thought as he zips himself up. You peak through the curtain to make sure you’re alone before you reach out and ruffle his dark hair.

“You okay, there?” you ask as he stands up. He’s tall. You never did realize how tall he really was until right now when he’s standing this close to you. Usually, you two had no reason to stand so close to one another unless you were ripping at each other’s clothes.

“That was way too close.” he mutters and you get the feeling that he sounds slightly upset.

“Yeah, it was.” you chuckle and loop your arms around his neck to look up at him. You’re trying to keep it light but you feel the atmosphere burdening onto you. You peck his lips.

“There’s a dinner next week.” he begins, still not quite meeting your eyes. “Just a casual thing. Some of the guys are renting a barbeque place. Come with me.”

He said the last part not as an invitation or a request. He’s said it like a demand, like a reprehension. Like he wanted to be indemnified. Because the both of you know that you would never say yes under any other circumstance. You’d never given him your number. You’d never replied to any of his messages on all your socials. This was the only way you would see him, hidden away in public spaces, pressing up into his sweaty body while he gave you a few minutes of white hot pleasure.

And if you weren’t standing there feeling like you had taken advantage of the poor boy in his moment of vulnerability, you’re pretty sure you would have never uttered the following words.

“Sure, I’ll come with you.”

Jaehyun’s eyes dart to yours. Like he wasn’t sure he heard the right thing over the sound of the booming music. 

“You’ll come?” his pretty eyes are wide.

“I’ll come.” you nod your head and watch as he looks away, fighting a smile but his dimples give him away. He leans in and kisses you slow, so different from the way he’s kissed you before.

You both stay in the photobooth for a while, kissing like that. You, kissing him in apology and him, kissing you with yearning. 

It just so happens that on the day of the dinner, you look the goddam prettiest you've ever looked. Jaehyun had only ever seen you in work clothes, dressed to kill every corporate kingpin that ever came your way. But here you were, with your hair down in soft waves and a delicate top on your frame and Jaehyun is pretty sure no one has ever looked as good in jeans as you do tonight. You’ve won everyone over within moments and you are working the room, mixing in with everybody. Jaehyun figured that’s what you were good at. He wasn’t sure what it was that you did for work, but he was guessing talking to people was a big part of it. It seemed so easy for you, to be in a room full of new people, Jaehyun being the only one you did know.

Did you really know him, though? Jaehyun wasn’t sure. You had a way of connecting with people like you’d known them for years, so it would be easy for him to fall into the illusion of familiarity. He supposed he didn’t know you any better than the people you were conversing with now, in this party. He observes from afar as you as you talk to one of the guys. It’s when you catch his eye from across the room and give him a smile that Jaehyun’s heart flutters and he realizes he’s in trouble.

Because this time, it wasn’t his cock that responded to you first. Jaehyun has to snigger to himself when he realizes that he’s looking at the delicate curve of your neck and wondering if you’re cold, not fantasizing about how many hickeys he could leave there. It was just as well. Jaehyun hadn’t seen any other woman ever since he started running into you. If he had to make a quick inventory of his thoughts of the past few weeks, he would find that he thought about you all the time, wondering when he’d see you next. 

Fuck, you were beautiful. That much he’d always known. But something about seeing you here, looking the way you looked, comfortably blending in with his world… it was stirring something deep within his chest that felt a bit like nostalgia and a lot like familiarity. 

So when it is time for dinner, he sits next to you just to feel close to you in this way. It would have been so easy for him to reach out and hold your hand under the table. But he doesn’t; because he couldn’t. It feels strange to him--the fact that he could, without a second thought, simply bend you over and ram his cock right up your pussy. But reaching out and holding your hand? That somehow felt… forbidden. It felt loaded, like doing it would be the start of something new and frightening and thrilling.

What was it about holding someone’s hand that was so sacred, anyway? He had touched you in a thousand other places in a thousand different ways. So, what was it about the thought of holding your hand that was making his heartbeat quicken? 

And when he’s least expecting it, you turn around and smile at him like you’d done earlier, but this time you’re so much closer. And then you take his hand and keep it in yours under the table.

He didn’t think it was possible, but Jaehyun’s heart is racing even more now and he’s pretty sure his ears are changing color from how much heat he can feel in them. You’ve turned your head once again to talk to someone across the table, but he keeps sneaking glances at you. For the first time in a long time, he feels butterflies in his stomach. He’d touched you in places that would make anyone blush, he had fucked you more times than he had fucked anyone else. But here was. Holding your hand like this for the first time, and it was making him lightheaded and giddy and yearnful all at the same time. 

He wonders if he’d be able to sleep tonight.

“Meet me in the security room.” 

You’d whispered in his ear from behind before you had snuck away. You knew that Jaehyun needn’t turn around to know who had whispered to him. You also knew that he’d be in here within minutes. There were few things in life that you were sure about; the fact that Jaehyun would follow you like a moth to a flame was one of them.

What you hadn’t expected was that Jaehyun would walk in as patiently as he did. No rush, moving like he had all day instead of a few stolen moments. You didn’t expect that he would take your face in his hands so tenderly and kiss you soft. That he would pull away and look at you with eyes so kind and say

“Hi.”

You didn’t know what to say back, because you both weren’t exactly the kind to make a lot of conversation during moments like these. More often than not, you’d be rushing to make each other cum as soon as you could before someone on the outside started missing you. You pretty much always had a ticking timer on your heads.

“Hi.” you hadn’t intended it to come out like a question, but it had. You weren’t sure why Jaehyun wasn’t doing anything. Usually by this time, he would have one hand down your pants or up your skirt, or whatever article of clothing you’d chosen to wear on that day. So why was he smiling like that at you, combing away at your hair with his fingers?

You lean in and kiss him, just to initiate something. He kisses you back, but not with the fervent energy you’re used to. He’s supporting the nape of your neck with his fingers and kissing you like he has all the time in the world. You want the kiss to build but he doesn’t take the bait and pulls away. You look at him quizzically and he looks at you softly.

“You know… the office is empty right now.” he begins in a warm tone as he strokes your cheekbones with the pads of his thumbs.

“Mhmm.” is the only thing you can say back. What did it matter if the office were empty or full or anything else? You both had always found a way to be naughty, regardless of how many people were outside.

“Mmm… the guys… the guys won’t be home either. We could… we could go home… to my place. It would be nice and comfortable.” he says and you notice the subtle nervousness in his tone. 

You stop a bit. You’re not sure what he’s asking, even though it is a simple proposition. You’re not sure what to say or how to feel about his request. And you know exactly why it is: you were much too comfortable with what you already had. You enjoyed his company precisely like this, in cramped places where he would be all up in your personal space, preferably fucking you hard enough to make you forget your own name for a few minutes. You wouldn’t know what you’d do with all the extra real estate he was offering you right now.

When you’re quiet for too long, he leans in and kisses you soft again but you speak into his lips before pulling away.

“No one… no one will be home?” you ask him carefully.

He searches your face and smiles “No one.”

“Are you sure there’s no one outside?”

He leans in and pecks your lips once again. “I’m very sure.”

You look away, just to get a moment by yourself to think. It’s the only way he’s allowing you to be alone anyway because he’s still caressing your face in a way he has never done before. Like you’re delicate and breakable and to be handled with the utmost care. You almost want to laugh in disbelief because this is the same man that takes no prisoners when he’s having at you. If you’re marked in any way after he’s done, he just kisses your pussy in apology. It’s nothing unusual, it’s just what you both know. So, why does he want you in his bed now?

“Okay, I guess let’s go.” you have no clue why you’ve said what you’ve said. It’s probably because: the logical side of you, the side that’s telling you that this is the worst idea in the world, that nothing good can come out of mixing business with pleasure; that side is tongue tied. But the reckless part of you is the one that spoke, thinking ‘What’s the worst that could happen, Y/N?’ It was a stupid choice.

But when it came to Jaehyun, none of your decisions insofar had been smart, to put it lightly.

So you’ve found yourself in his apartment as he leads you in, apologizing every time you have to step over a dirty dish on the floor or a poorly discarded (and probably used) towel. It’s a bachelor pad, alright; and you find yourself wondering how these people move around when so much of the floor space is taken up by contents of laundry baskets and kitchen sinks.

“Do you have a dog?” you ask him as you look around and tread your way in.

He looks at you sheepishly “Um, no. That’s just… umm… my roommates are really messy.” he says, rubbing the back of his head. “This is my room.”

You walk in and find that compared to the rest of the house, his room is indeed a bit cleaner, though it is probably because it is on the minimalist side. What gets you, though, is that the room has two beds placed end to end, which you suppose is one way to place furniture.

“Your… roommate… he won’t be here?” you ask to guess who the owner of the other bed is.

“Nope. Not for a while. We’re all alone.” He says and now he’s looking at you with that look in his eye once again.

So you walk over to him and lean in to kiss him. He kisses you back, but this time, he lets it build. In fact, he leads the build up. His hands move from your face to the curve of your neck to your shoulders, gently guiding you towards his bed, but you resist.

“Jae… Jaehyun?” you speak into the kiss once more. You’d been doing that a lot today, you realize.

“Hmm?” he hums, still kissing you with the same content smile he was wearing in the security room and still gently urging you to his bed with his hands.

“There’s no sheets?” you ask into the kiss, holding onto him to keep yourself from falling onto the bed, which is exactly what Jaehyun wants. But the truth is, you’ve been looking at his bed from the corner of your eye the entire time you’ve been kissing him. And you’ve been trying to angle away from it the entire time Jaehyun’s been leading you to it. You weren’t exactly a germaphobe, but right now, your silly mind was only thinking of all the things that very naked mattress might have seen.

“Mmm?” he sounds, a little confused as he turns his head to follow your line of sight. “There is a sheet. It’s fitted. Come here.” he says and goes back to kissing you. He snakes an arm to the small of your back and pulls you into him closer and you kiss him back. But then he starts leaning your body to it once again and you push a palm against his chest to stop him.

“Jaehyun, it’s just… there’s no bedding.” you word out once more and it sounds silly, even to your ears, and you have no idea why you’re bringing it up right now, when you’re smack in the middle of the heat of the moment.

“Yeah… um… yeah…” he breathes out and leans in once again to press his lips to yours and this time, you can’t really reciprocate for long enough before you’re pulling away again to say

“It’s just… I can’t be on a bed with no sheets.” you tell him and he pulls away, straightening up with an exhale of frustration. He tilts his head back, as if he’s allowing himself a moment to function like a normal person before he talks to you.

“You want me to change the sheets?” he’s still breathless, and you can tell that you’re testing a man’s patience.

“Yes, please.” you say easily, holding him at arm’s length. It’s awkward, the way the you two are softly panting from all the kissing, yet you’re standing here talking about household chores while the need for sex is throbbing between your legs. And you suppose between his legs as well.

He lets out another calming exhale before he says “Okay. Be right back.”

“Don’t forget the pillow cases.” you call after him as he rushes out of his room. You knew this was enough to test the patience of a saint. But something about treading through the apartment had made you hyper aware that you were in a bachelor pad. You don’t even have enough time to go through your phone before Jaehyun is rushing back, bedding in hand.

“Okay, here it is. Just give me a minute to make the bed.” he says and his voice is strained.

“I’ll help. Is this yours?” you ask him as you move his covers (under which you find discarded socks) and straighten his mattress out.

“I stole my housemate’s. He’s super clean, so don’t worry.” he says, laughing a bit.

You laugh as well and suddenly, you’re both giggling like two school kids as you make the bed, as if the absurdity of what you’re doing is finally kicking in. When the sheets are tucked in and the pillows are well arranged and the covers are dusted off, Jaehyun turns back to you.

“Okay, good?” he asks, pulling you into his body.

You nod “Good,” placing your hands on his shoulders.

“Good.” he repeats and scoops you up and gently places you on the freshly made bed. You both grin at each other till he’s hovering over you and you find your grin fading a bit.

It felt strange to be here like this. Jaehyun presses his lips to yours once again and this time, it makes you nervous. His hand runs up and down your bare shoulder as he begins trailing kisses along your jawline and then your neck and then your collarbone. He is taking his time. His kisses are tender. His face is soft. His smile is fond. And all of this is unsettling you. 

How many times had you fucked him before? You had lost count. He had fucked you in so many different ways and so many different places that somewhere along the way, you had stopped keeping record. But you’d never done it quite like this. Something about being so… horizontal in your desire with Jaehyun was making you nervous and uneasy. But Jaehyun.

Jaehyun seemed to be kissing your body in worship. His lips were touching your skin with so much care, like each caress meant a promise. He was undoing your shirt, button by button, and placing a kiss on each bit of skin that was exposed. He kissed at the base of your collarbone, then undid another button. He kissed on the plane of your chest and then your cleavage and then undid another. He kissed the end of your sternum and then kept trailing down till he was at the base of your navel and now the anticipation was making you hold onto the hair at the base of his skull.

He unhooks your skirt and gently tugs it down along your legs. Like he wanted it to be prolonged. And then he sits up to watch you as you lay there in your bra and panties, shirt opened up and peeled away. You’re exposed to him and he’s watching you with eyes full of want. Despite everything you’ve done with him, you find yourself shying away. Because you realize that you’ve never been this bare for him before. You’ve never been the body-conscious kind, but the way Jaehyun is looking at you with so much tenderness in his eyes--it’s making you feel some kind of way.

“Can you kiss me, Y/N?” he requests softly and you lift up to take his face in your palms. You kiss him like he’d asked but you pull away much too soon because you’re not sure how you should kiss him anymore. Unrestrained, wild and needy like you’ve always been? Or slow and sweet, like Jaehyun was being right now?

He captures your head before you let yourself fall back into the pillows and brings you to his lips once more before he breathes out

“You’re so beautiful. I wanna make you feel so good.”

You prop yourself up on your elbows as you watch him continue kissing where he had left off. The base of your navel. Your lower abdomen. Right on your mound over your panties. Then over the epicenter of your heat. Despite the confusion in your mind, you find yourself letting out a soft moan. It makes him look up hopefully. 

“Tell me when it feels good, baby.” he tells you before he begins sliding your panties down your legs. His eyes follow the trail they make before he looks at your bare sex. He goes straight for your clit, pressing open mouthed kisses on it till you find yourself flexing your knees and spreading your thighs for him. He runs his hands up and down the insides of them as his tongue laps at your folds, licking up and between them. And then his tongue is inside of you, swirling low and slow. He rubs your clit with his thumb, wanting to double your pleasure. Every so often, he peeks up through his lashes to watch your reaction to gauge his next move. 

It’s funny how being pleasured by Jaehyun on a bed is making your mind race the way it’s racing. Because you simply don’t know how to feel about this change of pace. Your need for Jaehyun was always horny and hungry and wanton. It was always explosive and wild, shining bright for a few moments and fading away just as quickly… till the next time you saw him. You had thought Jaehyun had wanted the same thing. To be fair, he hadn’t done anything to communicate otherwise. He had always followed your scent and fucked you exactly how you wanted to be fucked. You wanted nothing more, nothing less. Being with Jaehyun was thrilling. Without fail, Jaehyun would allow you to forget about all the messes in your life for a few minutes and then you both would be about your way. 

So why is he being this way now? You find yourself wishing you hadn’t followed him to his home. You could’ve had him right there, in that security room and nothing would have changed. But here he is. Kissing your pussy in his bed like he has all the time in the world. Telling you you’re beautiful. Telling you he wants to make you feel good. And here you are. Doing the one thing you hated, the one thing that made you seek out Jaehyun every time you entered the damn building: overthinking. 

You look down at the poor boy, looking up every so often to see how you’re feeling. You know you won’t be able to come like this. Not while your mind is being this way. But you also don’t want to break his spirit, so you tug at his hair and say

“Jaehyun, I want your cock inside me.”

You think you’ve managed to sound needy convincingly enough because Jaehyun’s moving up your body till his face is hovering over yours.

“Yeah?” he asks, kissing your lips.

You nod and rid him of his shirt “Please, Jaehyun.”

“Okay, baby.” he kisses your cheek and lets off just for a moment to get out of his pants. You watch him, truly in the nude for the first time, and somehow, it helps you take your mind off of your thoughts. He’s good looking by anyone’s standards. But right now, your eyes are on his happy trail that’s making your mouth water. You watch him lustfully for a while, concentrating on your animalistic desire, hoping it would chase away whatever other strings you felt Jaehyun was attaching to your arrangement.

Then he’s back, sitting on his knees between your legs, rolling a rubber down his length. You sit up, thinking that if you could just put your face down and ass up, all of this would mean a little less. But Jaehyun has pulled you into him before you’ve even had that thought and he’s kissing your lips while his fingers tuck your hair behind your ears. His hands softly slide your open shirt off of you and unhook your bra. He leads you to the pillows just like this, kissing you and hovering his body over yours. You break the kiss to breathe but he just presses his lips to your cheek now, kissing it over and over like he’s trying to communicate something through them. 

“Hold my hand.” he whispers then pulls the covers over your bodies, burying you under a warmth that is so comfortable, that your mind finally stops racing. This was nice. This was wholesome. This was comforting in the way a cup of hot chocolate was in the cold of a winter evening. It was soothing in the way a nice bath was at the end of a long day. Jaehyun’s weight, horizontal on top of you and the covers, snug over you both, shielding you from the outside world. It had a calming, lulling effect.

So you intertwine your fingers with his, the darkness under the covers helping you still your mind and just give in to the sensation Jaehyun wanted to give you tonight. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” Jaehyun says in your ear “I want you right here with me.”

Your free hand, the hand that’s not laced with his fingers finds its way to his hair. You feel his forehead and softly move his strands. You find yourself turning your head towards him and pressing a kiss to his temple.

“I am right here with you.” you tell him. It was amazing, how whispering sweet little lies in each other’s ears was making you feel as warm as it was. But now that you’d begun, you had an inkling it would be difficult to stop. The feeling was addicting.

“You promise?” Jaehyun asks and you feel his hardness press against your wet opening.

“I promise.” you stroke his hair and exhale pleasurably when he pushes his length into you.

He moves in you slow. He moans lowly as his hands come to cup the side of your neck. He kisses your cheekbone over and over, rolling his hips into you, making love to you. It was all wrong, this pace was all wrong. But you didn’t want it to stop.

“Will you always be by my side?” he asks softly. 

Under the covers, where the outside world meant nothing, where the only thing that mattered was you and him, where the only feeling that existed was pleasure and joy that this boy was giving you, it was so easy to wrap your arms around him and reply

“Always.” 

It was probably what he wanted to hear because his lips are on yours again and he’s moving in you like he wants to give you everything, like you are the only girl in this world. So you cling to him, wrapping your arms and legs around him to close any gap that existed between your bodies. You feel every inch of him against every inch of you till you feel you are under his skin and he is under yours. You moan his name in his ear over and over because you think it would be nice for him to hear it like this. His moans are getting more erratic, more desperate and he’s burying his face in your neck and you’re digging your heels in his hips and your nails in his back and encouraging him,

“Come for me, baby. Come for me.”

Jaehyun moans in your ears and you hear him, truly hear his beautiful voice for the first time because he’s not holding back… because there’s no one to hide from. For a moment, you allow yourself to exist in this world under the covers. Where it’s you and him and his beautiful voice. Raw, needy, raspy, and loving, and he’s moaning for you. You’re the one that’s making him moan like that. You allow yourself to hold him in your arms and press your lips to his temple. 

“Come for me baby.”

You tell him again and he moves in you with more fervor. He hovers his face over yours and you watch as he works till his voice breaks into a groan and his lips are crashing into yours. You hold him close as he comes, moaning into your mouth as he releases himself inside of you and you’re lightheaded. Everything about this is making you lightheaded. 

He finally stills and the two of you stay just like that for a while. Jaehyun’s weight heavy on top of you, his pants slowly evening to breaths. These sounds of nothingness lull you and for the first time in a very long time, your mind is calm. 

You would have never moved from here if Jaehyun hadn’t pulled out of you and then flipped you over so he was cradling you in his arms, laying your head on his bare shoulder where his lips could easily press into your forehead. He pulls the covers on top of you once again and begins stroking your hair. It is much too relaxing, being here like this, being held like this, being protected like this and if it weren’t, your mind would be stirring up a storm. But your mind is calm as the ocean because you’re thinking of nothing but Jaehyun’s fingertips in your hair, rubbing patterns that are making your eyes heavy. You have a feeling Jaehyun is smiling at you, but you’re much too comfortable to check and before you know it, everything is still.

It’s the distant sound of a door being unlocked that stirs you awake. It’s like you’re drunk, because you have no idea where you are till you feel fingertips tracing along your spine. 

“Shh… go back to sleep.” a handsome voice tells you and it all comes back.

You sit up abruptly and look towards the door.

“Are your roommates back?” you ask urgently.

“They probably are. It’s okay… come here…” he tells you kindly and reaches out for you.

“Shit. How long did I sleep? What time is it?” you ask, running your fingers through your hair in agitation.

“It’s 3 a.m. Y/N, it’s okay--”

“Shit! Why didn’t you wake me up?!” you have no idea why you’re annoyed at him when you’re the one that slipped up. You suddenly realize that you’re very, very naked and you don’t remember where your clothes are.

Jaehyun reaches out to stroke your head “Shh, Y/N. Calm down. It’s your day off tomorrow and it’s my day off, too. No one’s looking for you… it’s okay…”

“Yeah, but…” you begin, agitated when you hear the door handle of his room turn. You have no idea how it happens, but you find yourself taking refuge in his arms. Like your body knew that you had a split second before someone sees you like this and instead of reaching for the covers, you have jumped into his chest. You were not this person. In a flight or fight situation, you had always been one to fight. You had never instinctually leaned into someone for comfort or protection or anything else. You were fiercely, stubbornly and painfully independent. 

Perhaps because you never expected anyone to protect you right away like Jaehyun did now. Pulling up the covers and holding you to his chest in record time before the door opens and his roommate walks in.

“Hey, you still awa-- whoaaaa…” you hear a voice and you don’t have to look to know the man has instantly turned around upon seeing what he’s walked into.

“Jungwoo, could you maybe knock?” Jaehyun snubs his roommate and it’s the first time you’ve heard his voice sound like that.

“Sorry, man. I’ll just--I’ll sleep in Mark’s room. Good night!” you wait for the sound of the door being shut before you unbury your face from his chest. His lips are on your forehead again,

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just… I’m sorry…” you begin but trail off because there’s too much going on in your mind again. You’ve felt too many emotions in the span of two minutes. Shock, realization, irritation, agitation, bashfulness, worry. It was exhausting and you didn’t know which emotion to address anymore and all of it was deflating you and you don’t have any more words left.

“Hey.” Jaehyun holds your head and makes you look at him.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you. I know it wasn’t your fault I slept.”

“It’s okay…” he whispers and kisses your lips “Y/N, can you… can you just stay here? With me? Tonight?” he looks up at you with eyes so hopeful that you would’ve said yes if you weren’t in your right mind.

Perhaps, then, you were crazy after all because you’re nodding and laying on his chest under the covers so he could hold you once more. Because before you woke up, this was working. His arms and these covers and his breaths were working on you like Xanax, and truth be told, those couple of hours of sleep you had was the most untroubled you’d slept in a while. It’s almost a greedy, self-preservatory instinct that’s pulling you back into him because you want more of it. You want his arms to calm the storm that’s stirring in your mind.

Jaehyun holds you like this for the rest of the night, softly whispering to you till he’s fallen asleep himself. And when he wakes up in the morning, you’re gone.

Jaehyun doesn’t see you the entire week. Or the week after that. Or the week after that. Or the week after that. And by the fourth week, he became sure you were gone for good.

The first week, he’d kept looking around, waiting for that seductive whisper in his ear that would invite him to paradise. He didn’t find it and it bothered him. He continued with his schedules and hoped he would run into you in at least one of them. He kept turning his head around everywhere he went, scanning every face in every room he walked into. He decided that maybe you had business somewhere else, to he tries to put his mind at ease.

The second week, he became a bit worried and wondered if you were alright. He messaged you wherever he could, hoping that this time you’d reply but to no avail. He scrolled up the line of messages he’d sent you, hoping that perhaps you had replied to at least one of them, that maybe you had left a message telling him where you were. He’s not that lucky, though. He’s tempted to go around asking for you and he eventually, he does. But all the people who’d know you aren’t close enough to you to know where you are. That’s when the bitterness sets in. Because he realizes, that’s what he is to you… another person who isn’t close enough. He had fooled himself into believing otherwise. He scoffs in disbelief for allowing himself to fall for an aloof woman. Of course, he would be that kind.

By the third week, his spirit was broken with his heart, even though he doesn’t realize it. He tries to get back on the horse because honestly, fuck you. Fuck you for thinking you could treat him like that and just disappear. Seriously, fuck you. There were so many girls out there in the world. He didn’t need you. Any one of them could make his cock wet. But when he’s locked up in a room at a house party, kissing one of them, he doesn’t know why keeps thinking of you. He keeps thinking it’s your body that’s pressing into him, not this girl’s. He keeps imagining it’s yours lips that are pressing into his, not this girl’s. He keeps picturing it’s your hand that is sliding into his pants, not this girl’s. But his mind is simply not powerful enough to replace what was real. And the girl is looking up to him and saying “Dude, why aren’t you getting hard?” when he pushes her away and makes up some bullshit excuse about being too drunk.

He goes home that night and gets in bed and lines up all the fucking porn he knows he enjoys. He grabs his meat and strokes it urgently, because fuck that. Of course he gets hard. Why wouldn’t he get hard? But when he’s watching a porn girl smiling up at her man and burying her face in his neck, he has tears stinging in his eyes because it reminds him so much of you. And that’s when he knows he’s truly fucked. He slams his laptop shut too hard and throws his forearm over his eyes and cries and laughs at the irony of it all. You had broken him. You had well and truly broken his heart and his cock. He wonders if he’d be able to use either of them ever again.

He cries himself to sleep that night until all the anger has left his body and all that remains are good memories. It’s not like he had any distinct memories with you anyway. But he holds onto how he felt when he was with you. He remembers your smile, the smell of your hair, how his heart had fluttered the first time you had held his hand at that party, how soothing it had been to hold you in his arms and believe he could keep you that one stolen night. When he finally wakes, he doesn’t feel anger or regret or yearning or anything else. He just feels closure. At least he thinks he does. Because that morning at breakfast, when Jungwoo finds a reason to stay with him to ask, “Is it because of what I saw that day?” Jaehyun is silent. He didn’t have a reason to deny it anymore. Yes, he had met a girl who had broken his heart. Tale as old as time. It had happened to a thousand boys before him. He shouldn’t hide it. And he was silly to think his friends wouldn’t pick up on him sulking for a few weeks straight. 

By the fourth week, he knows he’s never going to see you again so he decides to move on. He gets up every morning and goes to work. He occupies himself by training too hard. He practices each choreography into the night so when he gets home, his body is too tired to do much else but sleep. He goes to the studio and works hard to record his tracks. He films his videos and volunteers for every schedule his manager brings his way. He keeps himself busy and occupied and functioning. 

He sits in the building’s coffee shop alone for lunch time and mulls over the rest of the day. He had been feeling a lot better lately. He’d even been to the gym this morning and smiled at a cute girl when she complimented his grey shirt. He was getting his life back on track, he felt. He had stopped being sad and sulky and had started to appreciate the clear skies when he saw them. Things were turning around.

Suddenly, he feels a presence break through his thoughts. An arm reaches out and steals a French fry from his plate and Jaehyun doesn’t have to look up to know exactly who it is. He smelt you before you had even fully approached him. And still, Jaehyun finds himself looking up at you with his eyes wide. If his mouth was hanging open, he wouldn’t be surprised.

But you’re standing there, smiling at him.

“Hi.” you say, like it was the easiest thing to say. He had forgotten how beautiful you were. It’s not like he had any pictures of you to remember you by--just his memories. But his mind had done a poor job of committing you to those damn memories because he doesn’t remember you being this fucking beautiful. He didn’t remember your skin having that glow or your eyes having that sparkle or your smile having that mischief. Maybe women got more beautiful after they had broken a few hearts. But ‘Hi’? You had disappeared from his life without a trace and you had the audacity to say fucking hi?

“Where have you been?” Jaehyun hadn’t meant for it to come out the way it did. Like a breath. Like an accusation. Like a cry for help. As if to say ‘Look what you’ve done to me’. 

And you’re there, smiling so easily, sitting across from him, stealing another one of his fries. How could you be smiling like that and sitting there like that and eating fries? How was all of this so easy for you?

“On vacation.” you say, grinning wide.

Jaehyun’s eyes widen. He’s floored. He doesn’t know what the fuck to say. “On… vacation...” he says incredulously because he’s been here, crying into his pillow every night with a cock that doesn’t work anymore and you’ve been on fucking vacation?

“Mhmm. I wanted to see the sun. I hate this weather.” you say easily as you nibble on the end of another fry “These are so salty.” you stick your tongue out and get up and lean over the table to whisper to him, “I brought you back a present...” you say and gently tug on the collar of your shirt to show him the strap of your bra. “Meet me in the storage room,” you whisper in his ear and walk away, looking over your shoulder to smile at him like a minx. 

Jaehyun sits there, nothing short of shocked as he watches you in the flesh, walking away from him. You were never this cruel in his fantasies. When he missed you, he thought only of the sweet nothings you had whispered in his ear that night in his bed. But that wasn’t you. This was you. You were a cruel, cruel woman.

That’s why Jaehyun hates himself for following you. He hates that you’re still that fucking Pied Piper’s tune to him. He hates that his cock has finally twitched in his pants for the first time in a month. He hates himself and he hates you and he hates everything. 

So when you fling your arms around him in the storage room with that same bright smile, Jaehyun pushes you away because he can’t hide the bitterness any longer.

“I don’t want this anymore. Not like this.” he states and he looks away before the lump in his throat would turn to tears in his eyes.

But you’re still smiling. “Then how do you want it?”

“Y/N, you can’t do that. You can’t play with people’s hearts like that. You can’t sleep with me for weeks and weeks and weeks and never give me your number. You can’t avoid me every time I message you. You can’t disappear like this without telling me where you’ve been. And you can’t just come back and still expect me to follow you. Do you have any idea what I’ve been through?” Jaehyun accuses because he can’t believe you. How can you be standing here calm as fucking day after all you had done to him.

“I’m sorry I disappeared. I just needed time to think.” you walk ahead and take his hand in yours “I’m sorry.”

But Jaehyun pulls away “What did you need to think about for a month?”

“About how I would kiss you when I saw you again.” 

“What is wrong with you?! How can you be joking after all you’ve done to me?” Jaehyun can’t stay here anymore. You were unbelievable. You were cruel. You were mocking his heartbreak like it was what you had come back to do. Jaehyun turns away to leave but you grab his wrist.

“I also needed to think about how I’m in love with you.”

Jaehyun pauses before he turns. He’s not sure he’s heard you right. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Y/N… don’t play with me like that. Please.” Jaehyun’s eyes close and this time, his tone is not one of anger or disbelief. He’s begging now. He’s requesting you to let him honorably walk away with what was left of his heart.

“I mean it, Jaehyun. I’m sorry it took me so long.” you tell him. You touch his face and his eyes open. “Let me show you.” you say, pressing your lips to his because this is the only way you and him communicate. You kiss him and smile when you find him kissing you back, in spite of the broody tantrums you’d returned to. But he pulls away suddenly, like he’s realized he’s still mad at you.

“No, not like this. We can’t keep going on like this. If you want this, you’re going to have to be my girlfriend.” he says, and you look back at him with an amused expression.

“Sure, I’ll be your girlfriend.” you say like you’re humoring him. But you mean it.

He looks at you and his eyes widen but you see his dimples appear in his cheeks “You’ll be my girlfriend?”

You nod with a patient smile “I’ll be your girlfriend. Now, do you wanna see your present or not?”

Jaehyun is mad at himself because he can’t control the way his heart is soaring in his chest or the way his smile is growing on his face. He’s mad at you. He should be mad at you for what you’ve done. But you’ve told him that you love him and that you’d be his girlfriend and it is as if the last month of misery is disappearing. He should want his indemnity. He’s almost fighting with his instinct for it. He hates his body for betraying him and soon, the happiness his body feels is taking over his mind and his need for vengeance is fading, leaving only giddy happiness behind. And you mentioning his present has his cock stirring once again and he realizes he is with you in a storage room all alone and all his fantasies are coming true.

So he takes your face in his palms and you grin like you know you’ve won and grip his shirt and kiss him deep. He holds you in his arms and kisses you with passion because aside from the joy he feels from all the rollercoaster of developments of the past few minutes, he is happy his cock is working again. Because your palm is rolling over it so deliciously it almost makes him want to bend you over and take you right there. Almost, but not quite because he’s pulling away because his right mind is still protecting his fucking pride.

“No, Y/N. We can’t keep doing this. If you’re going to be my girlfriend, we have to stop hiding away. We can’t be sneaking away in closets and security rooms anymore.” he begins and you look at him, wiping the lipgloss he smudged from the corner of your mouth.

“Okay?” you say but he’s not done.

“No, I’m serious! You’re gonna have to be my girlfriend in the proper way. You’ll have to go on dates with me and meet all my friends.”

You can’t help the amused smile that breaks across your face when you say 

“Okay.”

“You’ll have to meet my family and give me your number and reply to all the messages I send you. You’ll have to tell me when you go out of the city and I’ll tell you when I have to go out of the city. You have to let me romance the fuck out of you.” he continues.

“In that order?” you cock an eyebrow, musing over all his demands.

“And no more of this sneaking around. You have to come over to my place and I have to come over to yours when we want sex. We can’t just fuck like this anymore. We can’t hide and fuck and then walk out like we don’t even know each other.”

“Okay…” you say and you get closer to him and begin kissing his neck, but it seems like he’s still not done.

“No, Y/N, are you even listening? We can’t do it here. Not now. Not anymore. I’m going to take you home and make you dinner and--”

“--the panties are crotchless.”

“--and the panties are crotchless. And…” Jaehyun stops “The panties are crotchless.” he tilts his head back and groans because finally, his cock is standing tall and proud in his pants. Almost as if it heard you before Jaehyun did. “The panties are fucking crotchless.” he grabs your waist and pulls you into him and begins kissing you, his hands on your ass, feeling and groping. You laugh and begin moving your palms up his shirt, feeling his bare skin that you’d missed so much.

“And one more thing…” Jaehyun pulls away again and you let out a long, frustrated groan.

“What is it now, Jaehyun?”

“I love you, too.” he says and it melts your heart.

The two of you stay in that closet so Jaehyun could unwrap his present and make love to you while you tell him that you were ready to fulfill all his demands, and any demands he would ever have of you in the future. That you would be his girlfriend in the proper sense of the word, and give him your number and meet all his friends and family, and never disappear on him ever again, all in that order. 

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