Chapter Text
“Come home with me, please?”
Keqing didn't know what to expect when she finally said the words.
Be it intentional, her impulsive nature, or the liquor's talking, the Yuheng wasn't sure. But the question had danced around her lips for weeks, or what felt like months, given her usual pace of living. Things were inevitable though. At the Yuehai Pavilion, there were always projects to finish and documents to be signed. Finding time between schedules when they didn't talk about work was difficult. Keqing would never have imagined Rex Lapis' absence meant triple the effort of managing the entire Liyue. However, if not because of his passing, she and a certain secretary wouldn't have had a chance to get close this way.
Ganyu, the secretary of Liyue Qixing. She went unnoticed at first. Like a shadow, the woman was always there in the background, standing quiet following the Tianquan. With the ceaseless smile and polite demeanor at all times, Keqing could never guess what's going on inside her head. From her first day appointed as Yuheng, and now sitting side by side, enjoying their weekend dinner as lovers.
Lovers, Keqing contemplated. How many years has it been since the Osial attack? Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and all passed in a blur as everyone worked hard cleaning up the mess Fatui left and rebuilding the trade routes. Keqing recalled the rough start she had with Ganyu. Her younger self just couldn't control her mouth in front of the Qixing. Ganyu being the reserved one, often ended up receiving her verbal insults against the Geo archon. Until one day the secretary snapped, just to apologize profusely with tears in her eyes after. She still remembered when Ganyu, with a soft yet sharp tone, fists clenched and lips quivered, reminded her what she had achieved was minuscule compared to what he did in the same span of time.
A humbling experience, for sure, but it was also the turning point where Keqing started to pay attention to the adeptus.
Things were awkward for a while, but by no means the two women couldn't keep it professional. Every interaction was concise and minimal. Work got done, they both got home and repeat. However, between their uncomfortable encounters, the Yuheng felt more and more drawn to Ganyu. Every gesture she did, word she said, clothes she wore, even the strange headpiece that adorned her blue hair, Keqing took mental notes and tucked them at the back of her mind. What she had not planned though, this fascination slowly turned into infatuation, and soon frustration. The longer they were in this apprehension, the more Keqing felt entrapped in a prison.
And so, the pride she had to swallow, as one day she finally asked Ganyu what Rex Lapis would do.
“Lady Keqing, I-”
Ah, there it is again. Keqing went back to reality. She had told her many times to drop the honorifics when it's just the two of them. However, Ganyu was quite stubborn to changes, be it about the archons or the formality. It might come from living thousands of years as an adeptus, but time indeed flies differently when it comes to Ganyu. The secretary took her time with all the courtship Keqing initiated. To the point she almost gave up in the process. Keqing often thought either she might have done something wrong or the other woman was simply uninterested.
“I-It's fine if you don't want to! I understand you may want to have some rest for tomorrow.” the Yuheng added, flustered at the connotation of her own invitation. Ganyu might have returned her feelings months ago, but only in a few recent weeks they had become more intimate. Not only romance, the adeptus also needed ages to get comfortable with physical affection. It took days for embraces, weeks for kisses, and months to caress those horns. Keqing had been patient, if not because of her own carnal impulse from time to time. She was known for her sharp, results-driven attitude, but recently she seemed to lose more and more focus at work. Even the sight of Ganyu's back and shoulders could send her mind into inappropriate daydreams during meetings. Sometimes she's worried if one day she would just lose concentration entirely.
And that's why, this time she dared to take her chance. To put an end to this itch that needs to be scratched.
Ganyu fidgeted in her seat, twiddling her fingers on her lap, thinking of a response. Keqing didn't hope much. She had anticipated a rejection. She knew she should've taken things deliberately with the adeptus. Still, sometimes she wondered how much longer she should have waited. Their schedules were already a challenge whenever she wished to take things further. On the other hand, Keqing also often lost all courage to even ask during their day offs. There's always this anxiety of overstepping the boundaries. There's always this anxiety of ruining their relationship.
However, to her surprise, she saw the secretary shook her head and smiled, albeit looking away, trying to hide her blush,
“Then we better hurry, it's going to rain soon.”
===
As dreaded, the rain caught up with them.
And not even the light ones, it had to be the thunderous, bucketing down all the way to her private quarters. Keqing had already felt guilty for taking Ganyu's rest time, and now she made her drench in the downpour. Out of all the days gone by, it had to be the day that it rained. It's as if the gods were mocking her for courting a divine.
“I'm sorry Ganyu. I'll get you a change of clothes, okay?” Keqing walked out of the bathchamber wrapped in a bathrobe. Her purple hair were down from their usual manner, damp and a little tangled in places. Ganyu sat there on the bed in a similar attire, looking at the display of Rex Lapis bobbleheads on the shelf. She then smiled at herself.
“What? What's funny?”
“Oh, nothing,” Ganyu giggled, “I remember the first time I came here. Your collection has expanded, I see.”
Keqing made a disapproving huff, “Self-reflection! Self-reflection is the path to enlightenment you know.”
How could she forget the first time Ganyu visited her place? Keqing had insisted on working from home in her leave of absence. Curse the cold, curse the fever. While she was waiting for the paperwork delivery by the millelith, someone else knocked at her door instead. She would have never expected her crush to show up with a stack of documents in one hand, and a box of...something that smelled delectable in the other.
“Ganyu, why are you here? Are-are those golden shrimp balls?”
“I was worried about you, my Lady. May I...come in?”
Needless to say, Keqing was glad she had never given up in pursuing her, even if it were to cost her dignity as a Rex Lapis challenger.
===
“How are you feeling? You were shivering in the rain.” Keqing sauntered towards Ganyu as her forehead creased with concern.
“I'm fine,” the other woman gave a reassuring smile, ”the warm bath made me feel better, thank you.”
“But your clothes are all wet now.”
“Don't worry. They will dry by tomorrow.”
“I should've walked you home.”
Ganyu's face fell, “Oh, do you...wish for me to go home now?”
Keqing scrunched up her nose while trying to choose her words. The little ball of unease in her stomach had grown into agitation. She always tried her best to balance their professional and personal dynamic but sometimes she didn't know where the line ended. One time she's worried of asking too much of the adeptus, another time she's awake all night thinking that everything just wasn't enough. If only she got Ganyu all to herself whenever she wanted without fearing for Liyue's future.
“Listen. Tomorrow is the launch of the eastern bridge campaign, and I need you to document our project,” Keqing paused a moment, slowly mellowing out from her Yuheng mode, ”and I...I don't want you to get sick. I was a little drunk when I asked you of such things. I should've waited for longer holidays. I would've—”
“My lady,” her exasperation halted as Ganyu's hand found hers. Keqing could see the gentle gaze washed over her, her voice soft as ever, ”come sit with me, please?”
===
The plan was to take care of the guest and not the other way around. But here she was, sitting on the edge of the bed with eyes closed, basking in the sensation of the towel brushing against her scalp. Ganyu's floral scent and the pitter-patter of the rain transported her to another realm. The sight of mountainous paperwork and bustling street of Liyue suddenly became a distant dream.
“There, all done. Your hair should dry soon.” Ganyu swept the last strand of violet from her face before putting away the towel. Keqing murmured in disagreement.
“I could do this by myself though.”
“It made you relaxed, did it not?”
“Yes, but you didn't have to.”
Ganyu chuckled, “Do I need an obligation to make you feel better? I simply want to.”
“But I,” Keqing hesitated, unsure what to say. The lingering statement was in her head for quite some time, but she hid it for when the time is right. Perhaps she's avoiding, perhaps she's not ready, perhaps she's afraid of hearing what the woman had to say.
“...You're just so good to me, Ganyu.”
There was silence for a moment before Ganyu replied,
“You know, you always have that look on your face,” her tonal shift caught Keqing off guard, “whenever you're with me, your mind seems to be elsewhere. You stare into the distance and rub your chin with your hand. I could never guess what's going on in your head.”
Keqing stilled, her chest pounding louder and louder.
“Please tell me, lady Keqing, what has been bothering you?”
===
It's true that they hadn't really talked about their relationship before. Though they enjoyed each other's company every weekend, Keqing always kept it light-hearted. And so did Ganyu. Perhaps it came from her lack of experience, but the Yuheng always feared that the other woman might not be ready if she wanted this affair to be serious.
“I feel like I don't deserve your warmth.” Keqing began.
“Why do you say that?”
“I hurt you with my words. Then I...pursued you until you returned my feelings. It just doesn't make sense. How's that worth your affection?”
The adeptus said nothing, Keqing continued, “And you never said no to anyone. Or anything, even to hours and hours of overtime. I don't even know if you truly feel the same way about me. Perhaps you just pity me. Or perhaps because I am your superior and you're doing it out of duty.”
“No, that's not true!” Ganyu exclaimed, her voice tremulous, “that's just...not true.”
“Then why do you like me?”
“Do I really need a reason for that?”
“Yes,” Keqing's ruby eyes shot her a stern look, “it's not fair that you're giving me all this comfort and I...I made you cry.”
“My lady, that was years ago. I've forgiven you,” Ganyu reached for Keqing's arm, giving it a squeeze of reassurance, “do you have to weigh the merit in everything?”
The words felt like a thorn in her heart. It's true that life went on without missing her assessment in every aspect. What is worth doing in sixty seconds, sixty minutes, sixty hours. What is worth doing today for years ahead. These meticulous calculations to details might seem excessive to people, unreasonable even for some. However, it's what made her efficient and reliable in the first place, as a land overseer, and as her own person.
“Going by that logic, shouldn't you ask yourself why were you so persistent in courting me?” Ganyu added, “why am I even worth your time?”
“You're—” Keqing was finally at loss for words. Indeed, why was she drawn to Ganyu in the first place? Her work ethic? Her glacial strength? Her demeanor? Her physical features? Her odd habits of napping and diving into flower bushes? Keqing couldn't pick one. Every answer was the right ones and she couldn't be more indecisive. She always believed that everything must have had a reason. There's no cause without effect. There's no action without reaction. If anything, chasing Ganyu felt like a bootless errand. A futile attempt of a budding romance. But then why was she unrelenting until the end?
“I—I lost all sense when it comes to you, Ganyu...”
===
“You know,” Ganyu recalled every courtship attempt Keqing had initiated. She brought her palm onto her mouth, hiding her embarrassment, “back then I had to lie about meetings to avoid you.”
“Really? Was I annoying you?”
“Um, a little bit. Maybe,” Ganyu twirled her hair, trying her best not to look at Keqing “no, it's not annoying. I was flattered, in fact. It's just...you're so prompt. I needed time to myself to catch up with your pace.”
Keqing held her breath, preparing to lecture her on a full Yuheng mode again, “Did I overwork you?”
Ganyu's laugh was melodious.
“I'm not talking about work, my lady.”
Keqing came to realization. Now that she remembered, for about three weeks Ganyu suddenly became busier. She was always needed somewhere. The only time she could see her was during the assembly. Even then, Ganyu would act as if she's not present in the room. The Yuheng eventually accepted it as a sign of rejection. However, a few days later, she changed her mind. Had she not caught Ganyu looking at her often, Keqing would have completely given up. If not interested, then what's with those curious stares? What's with the mixed signals? Why even checking her out from time to time?
“Also those qingxin bouquets,” Ganyu chimed in a playful tone “I know you picked them yourself, didn't you?”
“No, I told you they're from the pharmacy.”
The secretary lifted her brows, “The ones from you always tasted earthy though.”
“Oh, uh, well,” Keqing's neck felt hot all of a sudden, never expecting Ganyu to pay attention to such details, “you always have this blissful smile when eating them. And Mr. Baizhu never seems to restock it...”
The way Ganyu looked at her made her on edge.
“What?”
“You wanted to make me happy...?” Ganyu asked, her voice got smaller by the end of the sentence. Keqing's mouth twitched, feeling as if she stood before the ocean demon again. Only this time she's alone, unarmed, and under no protection of the adepti. Nothing standing between her and her behemoth of anxiety.
“It's just flowers, no big deal.”
“Lady Keqing, you're climbing mountains. Everyday. For me.”
The Yuheng crossed her arms while avoiding eye contact, her face heating up.
“So we don't know why we're into each other,” Ganyu's serene smile returned, eyes full of reminiscence “why is that a bad thing?”
“I hate being unreasonable to myself.”
“What do you mean?”
Keqing released a long sigh, “You were wasting my time. Under normal circumstances I would never dwell on such dalliance, but I couldn't move on. I couldn't get you out of my mind, Ganyu.”
“I'm...sorry.”
“No, I mean I get it. You're thousands of years old. The days might seem brief for you, but they're not for me,” Keqing took her hand, intertwining their fingers, “what's the point of all this when I'd die soon and you'd still remain? Would you even remember me?”
Ganyu closed her eyes and turned her head downwards. The ocean of faces from different lifetimes—some clear as a day and others indistinguishable—passed in a rush, all mouthed the exact same trepidation in her ears. Years of loss after loss were all too familiar. All of a sudden the adeptus wasn't sure if she's ready to experience another one.
“Do you regret it now?”
“If I did, I'd have done it a long time ago,” Keqing scorned to herself “I became unaware of the passing time thinking of you. Next thing I knew, it's been a few years.”
“You've been—you've been falling for me for that long?”
“Heh, stupid, right?” Keqing shifted her glance around the room, albeit not fretting about the admission, “doesn't matter though. Not like my effort was in vain.”
Ganyu shook her head, “It's just...I haven't had a suitor in a few centuries. You're intimidating and I felt like walking on eggshells with you around. Though in the end I got curious, I thought, maybe if I waited longer I'd find the answer...”
The Yuheng let out a quiet laugh.
“Few centuries and no one interested you? I must be very lucky.”
Now it's Ganyu's turn to blush, “It's not like that, my lady. No one really paid attention to me before.”
Keqing felt a harder squeeze between her fingers.
“My world seems small behind that desk day in and out,” Ganyu went on, “but you, the Yuheng who speaks and walks like a storm itself. You, who persevere for Liyue without a contract to Rex Lapis himself. Of all people you noticed me. You talked to me outside of work, asking for my opinions almost everyday, about everything. I suddenly...don't feel invisible anymore...”
“Ganyu...” Keqing didn't know whether to feel sympathy or embarrassed by the flattery. The confession came out of nowhere and she felt sinful for having seen this side of the secretary. As if she was trespassing the realm of the adepti.
“I might be slow and clumsy at this—I always am, but I'd like to try again,” Ganyu hung back her words before looking up, staring straight into her eyes, “I want to belong with you, Lady Keqing.”
And that's it. That's all she needed to hear. The last verdict that sent Keqing into overdrive. She would have never expected the woman to feel the same way, at least not to the extent of her own devotion. But here she was, exposed to the very core of the adeptus. Witnessing the sincerest declaration of affection she thought she'd never deserve. Archons forbid, glad she was proven wrong.
“Then, how about now?”
“How about now?” Ganyu repeated, uncertain of what the question was about. Keqing scooted closer. Their heads almost touched and she could hear the other woman's steady breathing. The unceasing verdant scent filled her senses and Keqing wished to drown in it forever. Her gaze went from Ganyu's parted lips to her amethyst eyes, then back to her lips again. However, no matter how bad she thought of closing the distance, Keqing still had a final question to ask,
“Do you want me the way I want you?”
===